Showing posts with label manners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manners. Show all posts

Monday, July 8, 2013

Day 389 Self Forgiveness on the Manner of Consciousness


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a machine of infinite affinity to ideas, opinions and beliefs, instead of looking with and as my self as life, breathing here, realizing the physical, equalizing this within this being myself in common sense as  myself as life, absolutely directive within the principle of what is best for all, where there is not fear, only absolute focus on being directive with consideration of all life , where all life is me and i am it.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the limitation that objectification into a more than and a less than creates, as a separation from awareness of the physical world as me, where I allow myself to become stagnant within one dimension only, within and as my mind, as consciousness as pictures,   which is to say that I move as limited knowledge and information, which is in and as itself not good or bad, but limited, and thus a separation and thus stagnant, a suppression , which we can see is the system playing out on earth, which in totality is a separation from the physical earth, thus there is not respect for earth , for the physical, as the totality of life, as earth is not considered, and this lack of perception, this lack of depth, this lack of awareness, this separation compounds to the point where the action of the many as the physical body of a collective of men, is not respected, is not seen and realized for the life that it is, as the few that represent the outflow of each of our inner separation from life, as the physical,  simply play out the extreme of our inner accepted and allowed inner separation, thus what exists as the system of men, is the consequence of separation from life, from respect and equal consideration of all life, of all of the physical, this physical world that which is real, that which sustains us, that which sustained heaven, which is why such a statement existed that said that heaven had to be brought to earth, I mean why would such a thing be said?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear describing the extent of separation that is the mind, composed of thoughts created and recited again and again by parents who were themselves in separation, and thus what was said was not all bad it was simply words that taught/constructed a placement on a grid that is the outward manifestation of the inner separation of the human, thus this present economic system on earth as the human, is the representation of our separation, each of us, from life into and as consciousness.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that there is no ease until there is equality and oneness with and as the physical, that there is not ease until the separation into a heaven and a hell is brought back into equality and oneness with and as the physical being real, being what sustains us, being what is the value, and thus the value is all of the physical as the physical is a symbiotic world where this physical world functions as an interconnectedness, where there is no monopoly within the natural world as this will not work, because it is trying to force an idea on how earth should be from a starting point of separation into and as consciousness, as limited values, not good or bad, simply blown out of proportion, the effects of which cause a cognitive dissonance, as separation from equality and oneness to and as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the the knowledge and information in and as my mind, that is an echo of the present system manifest on earth, is a lack of common sense of self as life, as same substance that is the composition of all life on earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the consumerism system is composed of limited values that disregard the physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that believing that I have affinities to certain things, as other humans, instead of looking here and realizing the expression of life in all things as the physical is the expression of life, is myself in separation from equality and oneness to the physical world here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I gravitate towards something, as another person, I am in effect following what sounds like my own accepted and allowed values, as moving towards what “ sounds” as I am, what is energetically of same “ drone” of belief, opinion and idea, where the manners of the person move in specific ways, of which I compare to my own accepted and allowed manners, and thus am I following what is of like mannerism, not seeing realizing and understanding that the very movements of myself here as the physical is a collection of beliefs as values I have accepted and allowed, built according to class and race, gender and nationality, all not good or bad, yet built in separation from equality and oneness, acceptance and allowance, of respect and consideration for all of the actual physical world that is me, and example of which, was that when I was in Europe, when I lived there, in the tourist season I constantly had Dutch people walking up to me and speaking Dutch to me, and I would look at them and say that I did not speak Dutch that I was not Dutch, and the Dutch person would react in surprise and say but you look Dutch, which makes sense within my family, because my father came to America from Metz, and my mother came to America from Germany near the Dutch border, thus the past is embedded within the manners I exist as , as what was sensed and imitated from my parents as a child in the first seven years of my life, and thus i am a product of generations of collected beliefs, opinions and ideas that are of separation from equality and oneness to and as the physical, all a separation from being equal and one to and as the actual physical world, a separation from practical common sense of the physical, directly, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am a product of a system of separation, which as an accepted and allowed separation from the physical world, a world as a system that functions in one-dimensional living, as the beacon of the mind is a map of limited imprint, which is not good or bad, simply a selection of values then followed as what is real, creating a bubble of separation from what is real , from what sustains us as the physical world, thus consciousness is our separation, our inferiority to and as life, the gift given, to be an expression of life, the gift as the actual physical world, to become equal and one to and as creation of the expression of life as the physical, which is the only way to becoming equal and one in expression as life, here.

I commit myself to when and as I see and realize a dis-ease with  here, within and without, to stop and to breath and to slow myself down, as reaction, as a sense of vertigo, and I bring myself back here, into and as a state of ease with and as breath, and I look at the separation manifest as loss of self esteem, as a voice of blame and spite, as bitterness, as victimhood, as jealousy, as envy, as self pity,  all of which are judgement, an act of comparison, as being myself within limitation, and I direct from here, I follow through within and as the principle of what is best for all, I no longer accept and allowed an end game as idea as knowledge and information only without practical application, I bring all thought, my accepted and allowed map, into and as what is best for all, here, as this is the only choice, to be equal and one to and as the physical here, which will take practice and time, as the separations have become habits of survival, and thus must be deconstructed , seen and realized as separations, and brought back into an expression of life, equal and one.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that  the separations must be forgiven, which will then allow myself to stabilize in and as breath, to stop, slow down, the storm of the mind, and the reactions as emotions and feelings, the collection of beliefs, as a survival suit, the feelings being the good, to hide the separation as the limitation as the “ bad” as a value of one thing being more than another, where the feelings are the intensification of the bad into being considered a positive, which is really a justification for accepting and allowing the judgement of more than and less than, a resistance, a  pushing away into the conformity behavior , where common sense is suppressed, causing dis-ease with and as life, as the present system is life in reverse within a system of limitation, inequality, manifest as what exists on earth with the amount of abuse to the physical world, the behaviors of which are visible in the news, of which consciousness, if allowed, ignores, as consciousness is a tool being used as a mechanism of separation from equality and oneness to and as life, here.
I commit myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that since I have followed the map of limited values as consciousness as mind,  if I try to “hold” the perception of space here in and as myself, even down to being able to have the strength to hold tension and then releasing this tension in and as my physical body, it takes an effort, as my ability to hold and sense the physical world has not been developed as all I have done is followed a map, where i become myopic in clinging to one point at a time, as I as an instrument of life, have practiced separation, and limited common sense, thus the development of myself in using common sense will take time, as it took seven years to build enough beliefs, opinions and ideas, as images of my environment of a system of separation into a grid of inequality, that it will take time to deconstruct my own separation as what I learned from generations of such accepted and allowed behaviors unequal to the physical, to life, in totality.





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Saturday, August 25, 2012

Day 129 Morality Character


Day 129

Today I was driving in my car when I sensed this rigid “stance” of myself, in judgement of myself, it was, as being inferior, as though another judged me as being rigid, as being too full of morality as the defenses I have been taught in the guise of being cultured, where the individual developments of what is cultured and not, are simply stages of development on a continuum, something all should have, something that reveals the capacity for development, and thus what we as humans are able within, even indicating how much we do not know, and the limitations existent within the forms as systems of development that is in essence not developing each and every one of us.,This is how I saw myself, I judged and this is judging me, as me being less than me, as this is what I fear, and I judging am being indignant. The morality play based on limitations, or as I like to say these days, an endgame, the taking of what is here and going into defense through combat, in hiding from another where fear hides the fact of a non sequitor, as energy takes over, a desire as a belief, opinion and idea, perpetual want and need, the illusion as all is right here,  accepting here, is all that is needed, as simple as this.
Going into a non-sequitur is going into hiding. Braking the conceptual ability of self as life and choosing fear and blocking communication, blocking communion as life, stopping the flow of self as life expression. 
This bothers me, to let something, to let two people not be together because of lack of communication and a morality hiding being-here, simply being here.
A mass of beliefs based on values selected without an understanding of the totality of existence, life being lost to what actually substantiates and choosing a veil where lies are slowing down one’s self into a mirage based on fear.
The veil is the storm of separation.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that when I go into insecurity and fear I cling to the veil of my own separation.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my access to a morality in relation to measuring myself against another, is a rigid line of defense, in and as judgement to create a positive judgement of myself in relation to another and to ignore my own fear of loss, this being an idea in separation from life and not what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge anther based on manners and an inability to be direct, as this is what I am myself in fear of becoming vulnerable as speaking up as myself would mean stepping into rejection, a memory from childhood as I did not know what I am/was and was given no direction within the development of the substance of myself as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that all can be seen.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge another based on their development.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have any thought, to have any momentary belief that I am more than another, as this will not and cannot direct what is here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to not have realized this moral defense code as what it is, a separation from life, as it is a defense and not what is in consideration of what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop when I become this, and to breath, and as well, to instead of judging, look at what I am as this moral defense code of supposed ethics, and to take the principle of what is best for all, in hand and forgive this back chat as line of defense, and utilize what is directive and substantive and stand, even if I fall, until I am able to stand one and equal as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how my “moral compass” is in self interest and not in the interest of life as what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I feel disgust, I am in essence in disgust of myself, as what is here is me, one and equal and thus what is best for all, is to realize the being of myself in a combat suit of moral superiority as being self defense in separation from what is here as this physical world, that which is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to step into a character of morality, filled with value judgements of more than and less than, instead of actually practically looking at what is here as life, as this physical world and directing myself within what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand, how the tunnel vision of the mind, separates me from what is here, from what is real as this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in becoming a moral compass in self interest I cast shadows of ignorance upon this earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that  remaining in and as breath, I can breath beyond the limited space of this moral compass, and direct within and as myself with and as what is physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize and understand that I actually have little awareness of myself as a physical being.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to actually realize how that previous thought made my left thigh ignite a small web of needles within the flesh, and fuck, I just judged myself, which is to say I have just blamed myself for my own ignorance.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that any moment of blame is not a moment of self direction.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how such a moral compass can lead to bitterness, as the back chat of the mind will judge and become bitter, that self within such morality will become a belief that no one sees what this moral compass sees as what is a value that is superior, where there might be insight within this, yet the totality of this system has not been understood within being a system that does not support development in and as the human in becoming an expression of life, and thus one and equal to life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the human has no idea of its capacity to become aware of this physical world, as this has never been developed, even perhaps developed to some extent with a few, very few at that, what would happen if all of mankind were developed to their full physical potential in common sense of this physical world? Would mankind become man kind to one another, instead of a defensive moral compass?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, that my own moral compass is a shield, hard and brittle, that requires the substance of myself as life to be maintained, and  thus is my accepted and allowed separation from life, and thus from here - as what is here is life as what I am in substance, and this one and the same as all that is here.


I commit myself to recognizing my own tunnel vision in and as the culture of my past as my moral compass in separation from oneness and equality here.
I commit myself to breathing, to taking all judgements as slings and arrows created by self and thus separating self form equality and oneness here, back into self, realizing this is a protection defense mechanism, and breathing through the fear as my survival suit, as this suit is of substance in separation from here, able to be brought back to self, and to direct myself as what is best for all here.
I commit myself to stop, when I realize I am becoming a moral compass in separation from life, and I breath and I allow myself to realize the storm of emotion, thought and feeling cannot affect me unless I accept and allow this, as this storm of energy has not substance, and is in separation from life, and thus is unacceptable.



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