Sunday, March 17, 2013

Day 312 Extreme Shock and Trauma: Accidents, Disease, Mental DisOrder

This then brings in the Next Level of Shock, which are: Accidents, Disease, Mental Disorder and Events that Cause Trauma – bringing a Sudden Stop the Consciousness-Illusion. When this Happens, a Chance exist that the Being may become Aware – but because everyone around a Being is Still Trapped in their Consciousness-Illusion: they will do their Utmost to Convince the one in Shock, that the Shock wasn’t Real. And so, Most even with a Great Traumatic Shock – will eventually Return to the Consciousness-Illusion.

Extreme Shock and Trauma
Bernard Poolman has talked about extreme shock and trauma being a trigger/catalyst for seeing more than consciousness. Well, in my case this is basically what happened.
I found my husband hanging by his neck in the attic of our Zurich apartment building in the Spring of 2000.
We were a normal middle class family, two healthy boys who did well in school,our marriage was not one of argument,we did not drink much, we enjoyed skiing - would ski all day when we skied. We loved to walk and be out in nature. We had friends and dinner parties, swam in the Zurich See. My husband had been going to France on the weekends to fly Ultra-light planes, as he had been a hand glider and loved to fly.
As I understood it, he was the head of the design unit for the renovation of the Zurich Airport, purportedly the biggest project ever in Switzerland at that time. His company had paid for him to take a very expensive managerial course. He also was working with Siemann’s and would fly to England to interact with an engineer, who was English. This engineer would also come to Zurich and stay with us in our apartment. It was a nice apartment, because there were always bird sounds, we were so close to the Zurich See.
I moved back to the states. It must have been about 5 or six weeks after the suicide that my sister “dragged” me out to socialize with the summer crowd at a local restaurant. There I sat at the table with about six or seven other people, all of whom I knew for many years. I was basically numb, like being in a state of nothing. In fact I felt nothing, it was as though everything was nothing. Nothing mattered, nothing, nothing, nothing, all was nothing.
Suddenly, every single person at that table had a bubble around them. Their eyes were not here, they were on the screen in front of their eyes. The big tree that was a part of the patio of this restaurant was blowing in the wind, like a giant stream it seemed, like it was in a stream - come to think of it. Anyway, not one single person at that table was really listening to anyone else. NO one was listening to anyone else. All anyone was doing was trying to ( and I am going to describe it as I saw it at that time) force/pull/divert/get attention onto, themselves. It was like they wanted to prove something, and all that mattered was taking anything, using any word, direct everything to and towards themselves to prove, to win, to substantiate themselves. it was like they were hungry for this and nothing else mattered. And there were like, these stream things moving from their eyes out and then back again - which I think one of the quantum mind interviews on Eqafe describe perfectly as how it was.
Mean while, I am sitting there thinking, what the fuck is that! What is going on, oh my god, what is that, no one is listening to anyone else!!!!! Silence. Okay.
I think at that point i snapped back into nothingness, silence, numbness. I forgot about this but other things started to happen, I started to have some problems with people sometimes. And I started to do odd things like just stop and look at another person, and I would just see them being obsessed with their own story.
I also did not want to talk too much. But this is a state of shock.
About a year later, I was doing my student teaching. I had just taught a lesson on some math process to a fourth grade class. Now, I had anxiety that I was not good enough to teach these children. I actually had thoughts of, how can I do this, I could not save/stop what happened to my husband.
So, I had just finished teaching this lesson, had practiced some of the process with the students and was handing this over for them to do on their own. So, I was standing back and watching the group work quietly on their own. One of the boys looked up from his desk and stared in front of him - like he was “staring a hole in the wall” as the saying goes. ( I mean why so we do this? And why does this have a “name”?) Suddenly, above his head was a metallic looking ball, and it was spinning around. This boy was erratic in his behavior, he could read at a higher level than anyone in the class, and he could figure out math problems that as far as I was concerned, he had not been taught. I knew his parents, they owned a fast food restaurant. Okay, what was that? is what I thought, I actually looked at this thing, and could see it had impressed lines around it, like the stitches on a baseball , it was this deep grey color with a hint of bronze coloring and it spun, like those typewriter balls on electric type writers. Back and forth, changing direction. Can you imagine suddenly seeing something like this? What would you do, it is not like I was sick, I was functioning, eating, doing, living, taking care of children, going to school, just normal like anyone else, and this very strange stuff was happening.
Now something like this had happened in my twenties, and I had seen a bubble like thing around something. I had searched for someone else describing such a thing, but found nothing. The next time I was in New York City I went to that big esoteric book store Samual Weiser? I think it was called, and started to look for someone or something describing a bubble around “things”. This time I found something, it was in a Colin Wilson book, the supposed “great sceptic” where a man who had moved into a house had encountered a “man”, as I remember this, that was a “bear” and he began to speak with this entity. Anyway, he. the man that had this encounter, described a bubble being around this entity. That was the only description I found in twenty odd years until I found desteni.
What I saw as a bubble like facade as the “screen” people were “reading” happened in the summer of 2000. I did not find desteni until 2009. I found them when I had gotten to a point where I did not know where to look anymore, nothing made sense, and something was wrong, in a moment of “ four sheets to the wind” I reached out and asked a question, and desteni answered.
The first video was of Veno in Sunette’s body talking about the mind consciousness system. I think this was the second time in my life that I went into shock, someone was talking about bubbles being round people, about a system in the mind, an inter-dimensional system that limited, that was like a retainment of self abdication as life, manifest as fear, as separation from self as life, which would fit with what I saw, as everyone at that table trying desperately, aggressively, obsessively, trying to get all attention onto them as ideas, and opinions and beliefs to prove that they were “right” that their way was THE WAY, and all of it was a self hiding from facing self as life, here.
What I felt as I saw this, as I moved from seeing this to myself in that moment in 2000, was that I was way, way, way down at the end of some really really long tunnel, so far away, so small, so diminished, so timy, and that whole tunnel before me was my separation from life, that somehow this HUGE thing was a storm so great, that reaching here, as in reaching those around me was a divide. But what I remember from this, was how buried I was within this.
So, yes there are bubbles around all of us, even those no longer in the physical existence as a person in a body, in a physical form. If I can see this so can you. If I look back, I realize that the times these things have happened I was very quiet - so to speak- and evidently this is a trait in another branch of my family history, so I am not “special” within this, as this is something that has been realized here, as part of the story of here. I had a great Aunt, who told me one time that I was like the Riotte family, who were half Mayan, so is this an echo of how the MAyans did what they did, in becoming very quiet, they listened and within this learned to see what is here making a lot of noise right in front of them as their fear and desire to be more than, contained in a bubble?

Everything is here, what we are is in all the stories and words we speak, we have simply separated everything into a quantum structure that evaluates into more and less without application into and as realizing that everything has a value, and that not one value is more than another and in this process we are in separation from life, from being one and equal with and as the sound of life as the substance of life.

Become equal and one to and as LIFE DIP Lite

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