Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Day 306 Self Commitment Statements Disgust Character

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understand that seeking attention removes myself from here, from existing in practical common sense of how what is here is formed and functions, as I am too busy, too consumed with self validation.
I commit myself to breathing to realize myself here, to slowing myself down and to interact here, without seeking a more than in and as self validation, as what validates is equal understanding of what is here, within and without.
I commit myself to breathing, to notice that my own humiliation is believing myself to have lost a “win” of attention, as self validation, where when I become disgusted with this behavior in another, it is myself disgusted with having sold myself out to playing a superficial role within and as judging myself according to limited values to fit into and survive as a quick fix in lieu of standing up within and as myself in self responsibility to and as life, here, to have chosen a measure of protection instead is standing within and as an empathy with the nature of life, as this was not what the adults in my world existed as, having themselves sought self validation over common sense of what is here, believing much of what is here, to fit into categories within fixed defined systemic points, organized to hide self abdication from common sense and sympathy with and as life, where there is no win and no loss.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to remaining here, when and as I become disgusted with a behavior of seeking attention, as this is myself ashamed of myself for a past act of separation into wanting self validation, comfort and attention thwarted in one past moment, where so great was my shame that I did not want to face this and instead blamed another for my own failure within and as acting in self interest only to survive, and to pretend the belief as the behaviors of the adults in my world.
I commit myself to slowing myself down and breathing, to align myself with this physical world, to take into consideration how what is here exists within bubbles of vapid non self substantiating equal and one movement with here , to see, realize and understand that what validates is the value being life as what is best for all, and thus best for self, is equal and one consideration of all life with every step, with every breath.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding through breathing and slowing myself down, to be equal and one with and as what is physically stable as in realizing practically what is feasible, here, in common sense, realizing that the “rush” in and as mind fears a past and dreams of a future all available knowledge and information utilized within such fantastic meanderings a being of self based on one’s societal environment of belief, opinion and idea based on societal construct of selected and thus limited values from class, race, nationality, cultural tradition, consumerist ethic, economic availability, educational exposure only as imprinted ideology lacking physical inclusive proprioception, which cannot be self here, equal and one.
I commit myself to “standing back” into equality and oneness as breath, to slow myself down as what I am as life, as substance in constant with physical common sense equality, to see, realize and understand the tool as the mind, a register of what was made huge as value lacking common sense of physical hereness, within a systemic construct of inequality where more became more, creating less and less actual living, was an idea unsustainable and destructive as what now manifests on earth, all based on a de-cor -e made/judged as more, which was a process of separation de-coring self as life.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the disgust with myself, as myself, is the realization that the attention I seek has no real value, thus nothing becomes substantial within and as this, thus developing a character perpetually seeking for a supposed bling, energetic state, that is a state of lack, that can never be found but in short bursts, an act of depletion and separation from here, from self as life, from stability, sustainability, movement and understanding with and as life, here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that within the storm of judgement, that is a storm of separation, that is a falling into uncertainty, that is separation that is fear, attempts of redemption, as supposed acts of love, useless if done in self interest instead as the gift of life, as self being self directive in and as life, as the gist of life, thus charity without any self action/ability to stabilize within self honesty and self responsibility and self determination is a smokescreen, a show where the props are removed as soon as the cameras of profit/consumerism are removed, and what has not been done, yet what is recorded as having been done, is what is made real, and what is real as continued and increased devastation is ignored, as the picture show has become more than the actual physical world, in all common sense a crime against life, of which the solution is to create economic equality using the structure of what has been created by men, to begin the journey to life, through providing all life on earth with what is needed to exist within dignity, this being a collective realizing the value is life.
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I commit myself to slowing myself down and self forgiving myself equal and one in common sense of practical physical existence as what supports all life, realizing that what is here is same as me, in and as being a substance of life, as this is the value in and as expression, here.

When and as I sense a character of loss, as disgust, I stop and I breath, and I become one and equal with the object of my projected separation into/onto/as to realize this projection is myself falling off the wall into a million pixels/pieces as I allow myself to separate from myself into a Humpty-Dumpty of a million pieces, where I forget myself as equal and one to and as life into separation, to stop at this moment of separation and to breath, and to bring myself back here in common sense, and to become equal and one in the shoes of another, to communicate equality and oneness in common practical sense of what is real, as this actual physical world, this gift of life.

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