I notice that when I get into an argument and become angry, I become a sneer, like I am so possessed with disgust. There is some development going on next to me, and I talked with the developer. he did not like my question, and became immediately defensive, I could feel anger coming up in me, so much smaller, yet still there. I begin to project disgust towards this person, distain, and a glee, in thinking that this person revealed themselves to me and now I have license to attack. This is all based on fear of loss, and it is the same behavior I encountered with my parents, which I wrote about in a previous blog. This, “ okay, you are acting in self interest, bullying me, so you are now equal to me, and no better than I in my own self interest, so we are even, even to be the same.” This wry smile, a glare as an expression on the face appears, like Pnadora’s box has been opened. What does this do? Nothing. And we all do this, it just moves so fast and has been done so often that we do not even notice it anymore. It is done indirectly, directly, aggressively and passively. Were it not done, than this world would be a different place. And, since this is a movement within, this suggests that this need not be what we are, as even one moment of being forgiving, means that this is what can be the movement within, it is only ourselves/myself stopping the forgiving of myself as life, within and as the principle of what is best for all. The situation I spoke of above, is about money, and all this other person could see was a threat to their money, to their survival and since these behaviors are accepted, this survival to not lose, to not face a death, be it the final death, a death of social status , a death of monetary support as in loss, within consideration of immediate self needs only, without considering what goes on for all inhabitants of earth, is criminal. How can living in constant worry about survival be an expression of life? How can we even consider that there is any other option but to care for all life, especially in the face that we have major transportation and communication systems across the earth? There is food grown all over this earth, there are robots now that can lift heavy things, I mean, there is absolutely no reason, what is here on this earth is not being taken care of as life, needs met. The only thing stopping us at the moment is an entrenched behavior of complacency. If we/I could just take a deep breath and step outside of our metaphysical minds, in not much time at all could this world be turned around. The first step is to stabilize what is here, with food and shelter and clean water. Then, once this is done, move from there.
In common sense, there are major distribution centers all over the world, I mean we can sure get guns and tanks and naval ships every where! There are even cards measuring every oyster! I mean really! There are satellites circling in space, taking picture of the earth. And it is not that rich man with the money in his pocket that placed that satellite there, the money moved the resource un-equally, but it did not physically move that resource, what has been dictated is a metaphysical idea imposed as a picture in the mind that that money created that satellite, this is, in all common sense NOT what actually, physically happened here, as a movement to place that satellite up there in space. This satellite could just as well been placed there within a system where all life was supported, because the hands of men are here, these hands have been developing what is here to enable that satellite to come into existence, for generations. Metaphysical mind is a new term for superstition, all fancied up and used in higher education for some glorifying nuance that is actually shades of grey of separation in the world of shadowy illusion, the metaphysical tool of the mind made bigger than life.
So, this disgust is my separation into self interest because I believed someone else was doing this, thus it means it’s okay for me. This is, “ Let’s open Pandora’s box together and play metaphysical dress up with separation into and as energy, let’s impose a fantasy on the physical world, a limited one at that, and cut our noses off despite our face”
The problem is that here is no such thing as win and lose, the action and belief of this means separation from here, from communication in common sense of what supports all life, where what is supportive, really supportive of self is supportive of all on earth. Thus there is only a win-win scenario within providing what is necessary for a dignified life for all of existence. And the means for this are here. This is life having a real free will, a will of itself as the substance of self, being free, and this is the nature of life, mind in place as the tool that it is, that which takes a metaphysical picture of life, but is not life, thus does the actual physical world show us the outflows of our perception, allowing us to self realize ourselves in equality and oneness in and as life. What the human has done is gotten lost in the action of the mind as the metaphysical image mechanism. It was only the desire to be a “god” that turned the mind/image maker into a reality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that if I encounter self interest , as fear of loss, that I then have the right to join the game, because if you are doing it than it is okay for me to do so also.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand immediately how I have judged another as acting in self interest, to stop and not allow myself to become disgusted which means I have already also become a judgement instead of becoming one and equal to the separation as a separation from common sense, and to within this to breath and take the principle of oneness and equality, of what is best for all is best for self, and to direct myself accordingly.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the moment I imagined escaping punishment as a child, and joining the behaviors of separation as what my parents had learned and existed as, I joined in the game of win and lose, energetic polarities of separation as a total package that is an outcome of loss, yet the immediate outcome appeared to be a win, which was in essence a superficial win, as the eventual outcome would be death.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the disgust was myself that I then projected onto my parents, as I became a justifying state as a feeling in and as glee, as I had only won a momentary reprise from punishment, beginning a slow death into existing as fear, a fear of loss.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this is the past, and not myself here, and thus judging myself , and/or continuing to allow this as an adult, is unacceptable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to spite myself and the world around me, I enter the game of separation and become disgusted, wanting all around me to suffer the same.
I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to project disgust onto another, to when and as I realize what i am doing, as I remain in and as breath, here, I stop and I do not allow myself to become a habituated behavior learned in childhood in protection and defense in and as becoming a lie.
I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to compare one thing against another, using a value system of limitation from common sense of physical reality, as what was taught within my cultural upbringing, where when I find myself judging one thing as more than I go into a behavior of self disgust/inferiority and or judge something as less than where i project disgust onto that which I judge as less than and allow myself to feel superior through glee , all of this a protection defense mechanism to remain within what is believed to maintain survival within a system of inequality.
I commit myself to realizing within and as every breath, what I accept and allow in every moment here, to realize that any emotion in and as disgust is myself not wanting to stand one and equal to what is here, rejecting equality and oneness, communication with life, as I am allowing a belief, based in an image from a past as mind to be what is real.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that judgement is an imposition in and as comparison of a more than and a less than categorized value of reality according to what was learned to enable my own status maintenance to survive where I would react in a projected disgust towards what was taught as less than, and also, a self disgust for separating from equality and oneness in and as myself as life.
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