Day 546 The clock work of my emotions.

I remember in my forties that I would inevitably go into a reactive angry emotion the day before my period. Now, I have had my period every month, like clock work, never missing this unless I was pregnant. I am a perfect text-book in terms of this feminine cycle. Never missed, always every 30 or so days.

So, what i noticed mostly was that this righteousness would begin to build and then suddenly come out the day before the period. I started to be able to notice it mid-storm and then simply stop, often apologize and state “ oh no!” what day is it? Oh!”

I got better at realizing that this was happening and not let outbursts happen. I think that had I been taught about how emotions move, and build and erupt, from childhood, then the long slow process of learning this through paying attention to patterns, would not have taken 40 years. I mean, what a waste.

If we are angry and reactive, it is not the calm directive of simply looking at what is here and moving into solutions, which is the only way to live practically, because we all realize that reacting and allowing behaviors of blame and spite take up a lot of time, cause more reactions and are not actually seeing directly at what is here and directing. One is an emotional reactive movement and the other is more a sound mind - so to speak.

I have a situation at present that needs to be resolved and it’s taking some time. This is also due to the present bureaucratic system. What I find is that I am second guessing what is going on, and imagining all manner of outcomes. Then I notice I start to become righteous about the injustice as the story built within my imaginations that are all gloom and doom, and what if’s. Which may be true or not true, but thinking about them, second guessing before I even know why the problems exists for real, does nothing. All I can do is take what information comes through the channels of the system and work with it, be careful and understand how it works.

In the last few days, I noticed that I was building a similar experience within myself as that of the behavioral pattern that erupted just before my period.

This building of belief, which I allow and cannot blame anyone but myself, is based on not slowing down and looking at myself as what I allow. And, it is based on not being equal in practical common sense, working with what is here, even as the present system that is one of self interest before common sense that is built from every single human being not functioning in common sense, as each has abdicated common sense, which is in essence the way and the means to create a world that is best for all. Thus, humans are their own demise. Believing that this self accepted and allowed demise is human nature is life in default. It is common sense, as the very substance and nature of life as how life would come to exist, which would be a physical form, that is the real nature of physical life, that the human is in reality. Thus, it is the limited beliefs, each of us are allowing that is not equal to common sense reality, a practical physical reality that moves in understandable ways, we need only look. The moment I allow myself to become emotional, to become reactive, to spite and point the finger in blame, I have abdicated myself as life, here.

The consequences of my behavior, as lack of direct seeing of this physical formation as life, has created a limited awareness, where what I construct within my mind, a para-normal imagination, creates the chaos from the limitation of my mental default of not looking/ seeing directly/ including the physical world. This separation places me into a polarity game, where I am in judgement as an act of comparison instead of understanding.  The consequence of this accepted limitation/separation  over generations of men has created a system of survival  where I “ surv-i-all the faults as the lack of measure/consideration  I have allowed in regards to what enables me to exist as a physical entity. In this process, I compare my inner limitation, as belief, to others, and blame them for being in lack, because I believe my inner construct to be complete, when it is not. And, the physical changes/transforms with every moment, so the only choice is to cross reference the physical world, which means to respect that which enables myself to exist and to realize the physical is the gift of life. Without the physical, there is no life. And heaven, was a parasite dependent on earth- the physical. 

In all, it is time to accept the gift of life, and stand together, with this physical earth - all it parts- and become co-creators equal and one with the physical world. This is the real “ video game,” this is the real story, this is life information. Humans are the perfect bio-logical organic forms to become equal and one with and as life. This is our potential, we need only realize this, and stand together, to remove the present system of separation that is not giving all of life on earth the support a physical manifestation of and as life, needs to exist. Rejection is futile, as it is rejecting the way and the means of and as life that the physical is. The physical is creation information it computes life expression. Compute originates from the latin word meaning com-together putare-settle. Together, as each part, we settle and account for life, as it is parts working together in full potential/awareness that the organism of earth/life as a physical form, can reach its full potential.

Day 253 it is our responsibility to show all consequence when using words on a page.

I was looking for words to practice in the company of a guest staying at my house. She became involved and we started to speak the meanings to some of the words on the list. It appeared to me that she knew more words than myself. I noticed a moment of “ not wanting to look stupid” as a judgement. Then I stopped and let this go. I defined words as I thought I understood them, and then looked up the meaning. If I did not have a clear meaning to the word, I noted it and moved on. Together, the two of us realized we did not know some words as well as we thought. And we laughed and just enjoyed ourselves. It was really just pure “ follow through” as I call it in this moment. Another way to say this is to have direction within clearing up, taking a direction into understanding, letting go all ideas of self judgement, judgement about the other being “ more” and any thought about the task being overwhelming. She and I were simply two people working together. 

I realize that humans build understanding together through communication, through words. Yes, we can within direct physical interaction imitate and learn but in our modern world, we use words to communicate with one another. For this reason, placing words on a page without giving a total understanding, can be used to manipulate within a monetary system of inequality. And, it would benefit some for children to not be able to process information, the IN -FORM ation as words that have come to be used to convey how things work. In essence words on a page are people communicating together.

Thus, any group of words placed on a piece of paper that do not fully reveal all consequences within what the words propose is a crime. And, not taking the time to ensure that all children, all humans can understand the format of the written word within proposals is a crime. If we as a collective of people assume that others can understand words on a page, within the full implications of what those words are building an understanding of,  and we do not follow through in making sure every person understands, and, that our words and descriptions are clear within all consequence,  there is no one to blame but that the very fabric of the collective must understand before decisions are made.

It is easy to see in this that in a profit before life system, this can be used and abused, and this is what is happening. This is unacceptable. Blaming the ignorant is not solution, it is blame. Using this lack for gain, or brushing off the incapable can no longer be allowed, because this is not taking care of the very sound understanding of this earth. We, all of us as people, are the composers of what is sounded on this earth. If we remain in bubbles, thinking we are only responsible for our little bit, then we are not being responsible. A democracy means that each is aware and participating in being aware and ensuring that those around us have understanding. This is why a principle of what is best for all is the only choice. It gives direction within following through, beyond ignorance, beyond lack, beyond abuse. When facing resistance, it means cleaning up what has been accepted as a belief as a limitation. Deconstruction and reconstruction do not happen in an instant, especially within a system that has not been honest within itself as life. Realigning will take time and practice as the “ turn” from judgement into supportive direction will probably be slow. But there is no other choice.

On an individual level, this means letting go of all ideas of inferiority and superiority, it is these emotions, that are the limitation, as they are ideas about good and bad. Such state of being is stagnant. Such state of being is believed to be impenetrable but it is only a constriction that is inferior to movement, to life, to self direction that leads into understanding. Thus, again, there is no choice but to follow through to understanding. This each must realize and move as, forgive all lack, in every moment. This is the only way to align with life, as life would what is best for itself as form absolutely, this is how life can exist. 

So, start walking self forgiveness, to acknowledge the accepted judgements and then change the voices of separation in and as the mind into what is directive within what is best for all because this is the way of life, the way of understanding what supports life, which means self being equal and one to and as life , here.  In essence this is what we are all looking for, and the gift of this is within us as the very sound of us as the words we speak. For this to be allowed, this system of profit for a few must stop. It is simply the manifestation of not understanding life, it is a construct of our own fear, a fear that is a state of non-follow through of self as life. It must be realized that the elite are as delusional and limited as the rest of us, they just dress better in their limited and stagnant state, that is all. What is here as abuse, that is non support and care for this earth, is because the collective as men, are not aligned with choosing in every moment what is best for all.  It is the only choice, it is the way to understanding life. Support a Living 

Income Guarantee. 

Day 385 Self forgiveness on the para noise of my mind

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to listen to my mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be a walking listing of items in and as my mind at the exclusion of all else, worrying and fretting about how i look, what i am going to do/believe I need to do next.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to others around me constantly instead of directing myself here in common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want comfort, to believe that I need comfort when I am here on earth which has air to breath - if it has not been polluted by acts of ignorance and separation from reality as the physical that sustains and is the gift to allow us to be here experiencing life, here, being equal and one to and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an idea of what it means to be here, as this is thought and thus not being here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the violence of thought, the violation of thought only in and as making thought more than life, more than equality and oneness with and as what is here as the physical world that is what i am as life, this which is visible, here, real, 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that thoughts of comparison within a limited morality, an idea of what makes me a more than within a system of profit where money determines life, is so limiting in its directive it is astounding that this has been propagated just so a few can live in comfort, this desire to live in comfort a separation from reality, the extreme play out of what we have all accepted and allowed in separation from being here, equal and one to and as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist doing “ paper work” administrative work, such as taxes, and bills, and organizing all the bureaucratic filings that need to be done where it seems that when one thing is done another thing is sent to fill out, as those who are the paper pushes living a diminished life of pushing papers have to justify their jobs and thus layer endless justifications  that are really meant to eliminate so that money is pooled to a few, which is a crime against life when not made efficient and done with common sense which means looking at the present system and realizing it is not efficient and what is best for all in that it is not supporting the life that is here and obviously supporting more of the same that has been going on for a long time which means it is not structured to be supportive and solve inequalities, as the only answer is equality and oneness which is to realize the value is life and that systemically the only choice is to create a system that supports all life, as life being the value, and in common sense every point of this grid of inequality, which is separation from life, acting in self interested survival without questioning and taking steps to be a directive change that realizes that what exists on this earth as a system created by men, is not in fact supporting life and thus is not supportive of life, because if it is not working for everyone than it is not working and any resistance to this is simply self resisting common sense of the physical actual real world that enables every human to breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become blame and spite about objects and systems within this world, as this is anger, as this is fear, as this is paranoia , myself in separation from and as common sense of this physical world, this dialogue, this log of “ die”/death in and as the voices of my mind of a limited morality leading to death as a life never lived, is designed to navigate within a system that in itself is in separation from supporting and realizing equality and oneness with and as life, the physical which in totality is a separation from myself as life here, as life is directive, interactive, giving expression of life, as it would like to receive as being life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my mind, as the voices in my head are a GPS as an order of the system created by men as mind as being in separation from the substance of what is here as life, which is sound, gentle and forgiving, moving within and as an absolute purpose as life would life, thus the voices in and as my mind are my separation from life when made “ god” as being more real than what is actually physically here as how life works as being what is best for all as the only choice is what works for all, here.

I commit myself to realizing that the flow of money can systemically be organized to support all  life that is here as men, within taking the value as men working with their hands in various ways, and giving a basic income to all men as the resources of this earth are given to support life and that support has been developed through generations of men, thus no one man/human has created what is here as life as the system of the human and even here what is here was created by a reptilian as the manifestation of what we have all accepted and allowed as ideas of more than and less than within and as ourselves, all of this the substance of life here, and thus nothing can be owned as all that exists is the gift of life, thus it is to order a system that supports all life, as life being the value, which means creating a basic income grant to support all life, to allow life to no longer exist within and as limited and destructive survival behaviors that are simply life in lack, and to stop blaming the object as the human and the animal and the plant for its limitation when the very substance as earth as life is denied and thus creates a behavior that is destructive as a limited expression in lack for which we are all to blame as what is here is us,  of same substance , thus what is here on earth as the present system is the sound of life manifest as separation  as energy ignoring itself as life, thus all abuse is a separation from life, a crime as it is destructive of life, for which there are solutions, which at the moment is to stop what we are allowing and to stand as a system that realizes all life has value and that that value can be expressed when the physical world as life as what is here is supported absolutely, which means standing and structuring this system of money to flow to all men, to provide the basic means to live a life of dignity within and without, to create a chord of stability as life physical, and expressively, in thought word and deed, which means an education as to how the mind functions, how the physical can be at ease with proper nutrition, and how the human needs interaction with life, with the society of life that is here as the physical, as life on earth is very mush an orchestra of life, each part needed to support the whole where no one part is more or less than another as all life is equal as life in expression here, thus we are one yet individual.

Check Out:

Creation's Journey to Life

Economists Journey to Life

Equal Money

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Destonians

Equal Life Face Book page

Eqafe.com Self Perfection

Day 278 Fear of speaking Imagination dimension

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what is a set of limitations made huge can hurt me, unless I accept and allow them to be what is real
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the fantasy of this world, as values distorted are what is believed to be real.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is the distortion of values, that then limit and warp reality, and are the cause of my separation from the physical, where i no longer can sense the physical world as I have allowed myself to run after limited values, that will never satisfy as they are in separation from what is real from what is here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have created an alternate warped reality where i lose common sense of this physical world and thus myself as life as what is the substance of this physical world, to allow myself to be and become the monoculture of the cult of inequality, where values are divided into more than and less than, and what is simply being equal and one to and as this physical world, as this is life, has lead to the existence of abuse on earth, as the physical is believed to be only a resource to burn up, as the real world promoted is a world of imagination, thus is the world in reverse, what is believed to be real, is fantasy and what is real is made secondary, the perfect promotion of illusion allowing control by a few, which is simply a reflection of each of us as we fear standing up equal and one to and as the physical, to really live.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have been hurt, which is just myself wanting what was taught and fearing to give up an addiction to a distortion which is myself in separation from what is real
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in fearing to speak, what I am in essence saying is that I fear exposing my own separations.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I have been speaking the language of inequality, relating my words to beliefs, opinions and ideas of what is more, and thereby lost all common sense of what is real as this actual physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all this means is to align myself in common sense to what works within and as this actual physical world within and as the principle of what is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I exist within loss when an object of my desire is removed from my physical existence, as I have allowed this to define me, within my accepted and allowed separation from what is real this physical world and the very substance that is the source of this gift of life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my personifications of character are myself unstable, as in being within a dis-ease of equality and oneness to and as the physical world.

I commit myself to slowing myself down, to learning to read this actual physical world, within and as what in common sense is best for all, as the organism of this world cannot function as life until all existent here are equal and one to and as the physical, where the accepted cult of abuse as inequality is realigned to what is absolutely supportive of this actual physical world.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to breathing, to within common sense stand within and as equal consideration of what is physically here, as this is me equal and one as life.
I commit myself to speaking up in common sense that there is not life until what is the real value, which is life, which includes this actual physical world is supported absolutely, realizing that a system of inequality is a distortion of limited values into ideas, beliefs and opinions of one thing being greater than another, where just as the human physicalbody is a reflection of this earth, in that unless all cells are functioning optimally the consequence is disease creating behaviors in separation from self as life, and thus creating a world where the cells, as the human, are out of alignment with equality and oneness to and as what is real which is the physical world, thus will the entire organism as earth eventually crumble in disease, which is what is happening on earth, as what is real has been ignored for a fantasy, as ideas in self interest of what is more than in separation from the value being life, self being self responsible as life, here.
I commit myself to, when and as I feel I cannot speak, to slow myself down, to breath, to bring myself here, equal and one, touching this actual physical world and practicing registering what is physically real, here within and as directing myself as the principle of what is best for all, as this is the only choice, as the choices within and as the present system of the culture of inequality follows the illusion of the fantasy of the mind, an imagination of distorted and limited values in separation from common sense.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to when and as I realize I have allowed a habit of label, as comparison, I am existing within competition fearing the loss of the illusion past experiences that I accept a definition of what I am based on a cult of inequality where the relationship to experiences, imaginings, knowledge and information, education, are given meaning, as a past event, thereby creating addictions to such banners of self definition, and needing a sympathetic environment of like separation to fan the fires of the illusion of the separation into and as being what is supposedly real, when what is real is the actual physical world as the expression of the substance of life, and not what I have allowed as energy, as a division from substance/sound into and as fantasy as limited values only that I believe sustain what I am here, that are not sustaining in reality, so obvious within and as the existence of abuse, crime, and war on earth, all movements of men that are not in fact sustaining and only serve limited values.

                                                       Desteni Lite

Day 270 Equal Money Capitalism will end Pet Abandonment

Horses sent to slaughter in England as owners can no longer afford the high cost of feed.
Left Behind. The problem of abandoned pets.
Pets abandoned in the foreclosure crisis.

The Problem
Across America and in England people are no longer able to care for their pets. They do not financially have the means to take care of their pets. In America people who have lost their homes, due to the housing crisis, have left their pets behind.. In England, horses have been sent to the slaughter house because there was no longer enough money to support the purchase of what sustains a horse.
A system that allows money to determine what lives and what dies, a system that creates an inability to care for animals, for pets, is a system that has failed, a system that is not working. Such a system must, in all absolute common sense, stop.
Blaming the individual ONLY, or the politicians only, or the financial market only, without looking at everything that is here, in detail from the stance of each human being to the form of this present system that has placed a belief that life must be bought, is being myopic, as it ignores the fact that all the parts are a product of the whole scenario, the whole system. This also believes that one part changing will have some kind of magical effect on the whole. And it will not.
The animals of this earth, must have care within the form of this system that has been created by men. That we are leaving our pets behind in abandoned homes, and sending horses off to be slaughtered because we can no longer afford to feed them, is unacceptable. This is a huge red flag. This is an indication that we must stop what we are doing - what we have accepted as a system, and realign, reorganize, reform what we have created to ensure that this does not exist.

The Solution

Presently, money determines what lives and what dies. The tool of money serves an idea of profit. This profit idea rules the land. This is not working. This lacks principle. What supports life is known, what allows life to exist in ease is known. Studies of communities given a basic income grant have shown that people will care for their community, for their children and their homes. Thus, as humans, it is the nature of ourselves as life, to care for what is here, to enjoy what is here and to participate in life. If the means to exist are taken away, the behaviors as this life become behaviors of frustration and fear, leading to addiction and dis-ease, abandonment and abuse, greed and hoarding. Even a small amount of investigation will reveal this, as this is what is compounding on this earth. Life existing against the very nature of itself.
The principle of the nature of life, is to give as one would like to receive, which means to care for what is within one’s environment. This earth is our environment.
Thus a system of unequal distribution of the capital of this earth does not work, will not work. What is needed to support life, absolutely, is, in common sense the solution.
Equal Money Capitalism is a system that places this principle in practice. It is a solution based on the common sense that this physical existence has basic needs to exist. If these needs are taken away what is left is the behavior of destruction. Thus all behaviors of abuse, are due to lack. All behaviors of abuse are compounds of systemic failure. This means the present system is not working. And the solution is simple, to take what is here on earth to support what is absolutely needed for all life to exist. That support of life breeds behaviors of life, where life will stand and become autonomous as the life that it is and thus will care for what is here, as this is the nature of life in support. The value is life.

The Rewards
The rewards are that existence will become the nature of life, one and equal. That each individual part will become the nature of itself as life.
Animals will be cared for.
Homes will be cared for.
The environment will be cared for. If homes are cared for, they will last for generations, as we have homes on this earth that have lasted for generations. This leads to less resource use.
Children will attend school, meaning children will have the means to develop into their full potential as life, as what they are, all of them, equal and one, individual yet the same, as what is the value is that they are life. Period.
This means what is sustaining will come to be what is practiced, absolutely.
Equal Money Capitalism is the practice of respect for life, is the practice of supporting the  prevention being the cure.

Day 234 Consequence Dimension : Despair Character

Consequence Dimension : Despair Character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into and as seeing only the morality placed before me, without any reference to the actual physical world, where I become caught up in a right and a wrong within the confines of the dictates of family, not seeing realizing and understanding the totality of existence as the physical, life, being the value, where not only as a child, did i not reference life, as the physical, as that which is equal in all existent, I allowed and accepted a singular reference point and thus became caught in the friction and conflict within and as the polarities presented, there by essentially not being able to bridge the gap, as the division, as judgement of more than and less than, this act in and as itself as separation from what is constant and real, the substance of life existent as this earth, given freely.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the impetus to exist what to move myself within what was given as how this world exists, is not a right or a wrong, but an indication that myself as life is able to move and be responsive in and as life, thus, I am able to change myself here, to move in consideration of all life in this planet, as what is best for all, and within this, the best cure is prevention of accepting polarities of more than and less than in separation from what is best for all, where considering an idea, such as children are to be seen and not heard, is an idea accepting the structure of a hierarchy, ignorant of what is same as a primary point of movement, equality and oneness as life as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the simplicity of breathing and bringing myself back to the physical in common sense of what is actually physically here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as i go into despair, I am actually looking for answers within reasoning asmind separate from the starting point of realizing the actual physical world, where ideas and opinions presented are limited consequences in separation from the starting point of the actual physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not stand up for total consequence, bringing myself back to the actual physical world and directing myself one and equal in and as breath, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I cannot know something, at least as far as how this present system functions, and to look and realize that how it is functioning is unacceptable, and that the words, “That is the way it is”, are a fear of self responsibility until the devastation such ignorance allows forces the human to stand and realize the consequence of the be-hav-ior of ignorance.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that despair is really believing oneself, as myself, to be stuck in a trap, seeing no way out, which means I have accepted and allowed an ignorance of this actual physical world and the substance of life as being what is same in all, as being the value.

When and as I feel myself becoming a character of despair, I stop and I breath, listening to the “stream” of my own constriction, until I hear/here what separations I am accepting and allowing as fear, as despair, as anxiety, as anger, as judgement, and I stop, I address what is physically here and direct myself within a solution within what is best for all, which is what is best for myself as life.

I commit myself to realizing that going into despair is not a prevention, that the only prevention is the cure as myself as life, being self responsible within what is best for all with and as the physical, as it is the physical which is real and not ideas of more than and less than, as being seen and unheard, or that one race is more than another, or that an animalis less than life- manifest as the abuse given to animals, or that a vaccine is a cure - which it is not as it does not address the development of the virus and only seeks to supposedly remove the existence of it as a secondary step - ignoring the total consequence as to why such a virus manifests, or the consequence of poverty and starvation being that what is actually physically here has become second to money, money that in and as itself is dependent on trees ( or other plants) to exist, thus what is real is the actual physical, as the accepted divisions of men into more than and less than, allowing money -dependent on the physical- to assume superiority over life, thereby ignoring life and thus abusing life within allowing life to be seen yet unheard, the consequences of which, in not being here, are actually seen all over this earth, within disease - as a virus, within child sex trafficking, within the deaths of trees that have been around for generations, within the development of man into a machine pushing papers, within the slavery in China so some child who has no knowledge of itself as life can speak on some cell phone or play with a piece of plastic, none of which could be considered life but actually life in decay, in separation, in limitation, in fragments, instead of expression within the full potential of what children are in fact capable of, I mean they learn to walk and speak, what would they beyond this within support and development, and as a collective of men what would this create on earth were this given to all men, all children?

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that the choice, as the only choice, is to realize that separation from the physical world, is fear, is friction and conflict, creating wants , needs and desires, is actually what has manifested on earth, a society of wants , needs and desires, to placate a starting point of separation from what is real, the actual physical world, as this world is then being used to placate fear, as want, need and desire, instead of actually each and every one who is able to stand up and use common sense, within investigation of how this system actually is functioning as a separation from life.

I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that my own fears, are based on a fear of loss, with myself having separated from myself as life, and thus has earth been created as the consequential outflow of a development of a mind consciousness system to place man into a system where values of more than and less are lived as this is what man has created, the consequence of inequality being abuse and destruction as what is presently happening on this earth, where this can end, within mankind standing up and realizing equality and oneness as life, here, to within this support all life, as the value being life.

Related articles

• Day 230 Thought Dimension : Despair Character
• Day 231 Imagination Dimension : Despair Character
• Day 232 Internal conversation/ Back Chat : Despair Character

Day 210 Self correction Validating Life

I commit myself to realizing validation within what is presented through education, media, society, family is but values made huge separating myself from common sense of the actual real physical world.
I commit myself to show how the stories told in media, education, family, society reveal the limitations as the only values presented and thus made huge, as distorted as the enlarged image on the movie screen, taken in as an image through the eye, as the mind, within this very medium a limited face value insight where no physical applicative awareness is developed as my self as life, equal and one to this actual real story in and as the actual physical world, this physical, actual, real world made secondary as the limited images on the screen and described through the words as stories, beliefs, opinions and ideas as told by parents, the education system and media, thereby essentially distracting the human away from what is real within awareness and expressive development, as communicating one and equal, in and as, in tandem with this actual physical world, real interactive common sense of what is real, which begs the question, why is what is real as the resources of this earth what is allowed ownership? I mean if this world supposedly does not “matter” as a “better” life is coming in death, then why grab what is here? This is because, what is here as the physical, actual world, is what is real, and it is given freely, and it is not organized to support what is the value which is life, here equal and one as this physical existence.
I commit myself to realizing that I have become a walking mind of imagery as guide and expression, separate from what is real, where the images - as the values made huge through the various systems accepted and allowed one earth of beliefs, opinions and ideas of more than and less than- become my value system, where my experiences are related to these magnified limited values, that are of no depth perception into what is actually real, myself as a physical form here, composed of the substance of life, this gift then separated into and as energetic reactions based on limited values only, so easy to see as beliefs, opinions and ideas, and the amount of ignorant abuse existent on this earth.
I commit myself to realizing that e-valuation in and as the mind is a consideration within more than and less than, a limitation judging a limitation, a judgement judging, and thus has nothing to do with equal and one self directive common sense of how this actual physical world functions, where this is used within this monetary system of taking from this earth in self interest as mind blind to how this world functions, as to consider this actual physical world would mean nothing can be owned, as the very form of what is here is to be respected as life, of which all that is here exists of and as, equal and one.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that what I experience within walking the desteni i process of the death of the mind, where i want to pull out my hair at times, where I want to just go to sleep at times, where the back chat, as inner conversations, and obsessions scream for their own announcement, as they are composed of energy and thus need constant attention by myself and my human physical body in order to continue to exist, and thus, the process of stopping the mind is a process of silencing the voice and picture show of the limited values as energy as self directive that separates myself from and as life, which I allow to rob me of my own gift of common sense of what is real, this actual physical world.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that seeking validation within or without is the voice of lack and separation and thus the answer to discovering self as life, within which the tools of breathing, being humble and patient, self writing and corrective application are the means to an end of fear and a correction into self direction as life, here.

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Day 198 The word of the male.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become submissive within existing within a relationship, as a belief, with a male vs. a female, where it is not polite to contradict the male, as what I have been taught is to idolize-make more than- the male, not seeing realizing and understanding that the male is a creation of the substance of life, where what is the value is the life as the substance, thus what is best for life as this physical world as it is all life, is what is best and not what serves this male as an idea as being more than or having a final word.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the words from a male are the final word, as it is not that the male speaks these words, as a male can speak what is best for all, it is the word as realizing that all of this physical world is the substance of life, and, as this, it is to be a living word as a word that supports and realizes that all life is one and equal as it is the form of the physical that is the vehicle of the expression of life, as this is the gift; here the only support given is to recognize this physical world as an expression of life and support this.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become irritated with having to listen to a male, which is myself separating from myself within hearing what is best for all as I react within resonant past accepted and allowed behaviors of belief and thus allow uncertainty and fear within myself in fear of loss, in fear of aggressive reactive behaviors from the male, as the ego of the male, as mind, as energy, will choose to not die, meaning will resist change, yet if I breath and remain here in common sense, replies that consider what is best for all within this present system of manifest inequality and separation from the value being life as the current profit based system of capitalism that is monopoly where a few of the most aggressive end up owning everything and believing their creation - as their “grab” shows a win and power when in fact it is ignorance of the value of life being that which is the substance of this creation on earth, something that cannot be owned, could this be owned than it would be understood; and understanding means having insight into creating heaven on earth instead of hell on earth, as heaven on earth is realizing the value is life and that creation as this physical world is the expression of this value being life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to run away from hearing the same thing said in response to what I have to say, where I feel like I am not being heard, not realizing that what is wanting to be heard is a self validation as an end all be all, as the mind, as ego, exists within a limited ability towards insight when only parts are seen and there is no physical common sense of the multi-dimensions within the totality of existence, which is why so much abusive behavior exists on earth, behavior that is destructive and ignorant of how this physical world functions, as the denial of life is not allowing the form of the physical to express itself as life as the very form it takes.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe a sense of dread that comes up in relation to speaking up towards what a male says, in fear of having to hear the same thing again.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine being bullied and cast away should I not accept the word of the male as “the word” where in this moment I breath and I stand and I listen to what is being said and I speak up in common sense of what is real as the value being life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I allow myself to exist within “dread” i become stagnant and limited, where I perpetuate what is not existing within oneness and equality as the living word as what is best for all is best for self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a memory of my past to be what is real, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this is a “ghost” of the past, as a superstition that I can either accept as real or stand up within and forgive myself to as what was taught, as what was shown, as what was expected as a child with no ability to express and no direction given within developing an awareness of self direction in and as the value being life in common sense with the equality and oneness of what I am as the substance of creation that is this physical world- a gift of life to b-earth oneself as life, to see, realize and understand that I am here, an adult, and no memoryneed define me as what I am, as it exists only as a superstition resonant within and as the environment within which I lived as a child within a system unsupportive of life as the human idolizing an object having forgotten the substance of all that exists as what is the value, which is life, where this condition of the human as collectively created/allowed a system of inequality, allowing a monopoly where the tool to buy idols is money, as the value as life is not realized, as life is subject to beliefs, opinions and ideas of more than and less than, of gain and loss, which needs to stop and a system of Equal Money that is supportive of all life, realizing life is the value will stop the superstitions of the mind and the rampant disregard manifesting horrific abuse of life on this planet.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that physically my body constricts when I do not remain within and as breath and speak up in support of life as what is best for all, as though the very NON speaking up in support of life, as the instrument of life, as my human physical body, not being used as life and instead being destroyed through the abuse of following superstition in and as the mind as belief, opinion and idea , to relationships that are inconsiderate of the whole, where I at one time tried to imagine a peaceful place in and as my mind and all that happened was that I got the most awful headaches as it seemed to be so forced, I just stopped one day, as it seemed like a fantasy mind fuck which is exactly what it was, as this should not be something that causes headaches.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that when I fear speaking up I am not in support of myself, which is to say I am not in support of life, where my physical human body actually starts to feel tight and heavy in my lower back, and within this there is a voice that just came up where I say, “ I have no where to go” which is just the reverberation in and as voices in my head as my past, the voice of a ghost of my past as a memory as a product of the current system of limited insight and stagnation as what this current system is as the lack of development of myself as life as a human physical instrument of life, a voice of value judgement representing a separation from life, from equality and oneness in and as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe such a voice, as what I accepted and allowed, in abdication of life, as a character of futility, denying myself of breath and the being of myself as an instrument of life existing here as the living word, this being of myself one and equal with all existent on earth, here.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that no matter what is said around me, within or without, that is not one and equal to what is best for all, is in fact the word of superstition, as a ghost of life, a word of no substance, thus is able to be brought back to myself as life in common sense of life through no longer fearing the voices of the past, as the ghosts of the mind as belief, opinion and idea in relation to a propagated self interest in fear of loss of myself as an object developed to survive having forgotten myself as the substance of life on a world where the physical is support in allowing me to realize that life is the value and thus there need be no fear of loss.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that actually being here, in and as breath, in simplicity with what is physically here is actually a relief, at first seemingly boring, as leaving the energetic addictions in and as the mind appear to resist their death, what in fact happens is the calm and the quiet, and the breath are simple and gentle, where things in the physical can be walked without complaint and actually enjoyed, and finding solutions as understanding how things work in fact is fun, like learning to actually move a violin string and the bow on the string.
I commit myself to realizing that I have existed within constriction for so long that this will take some practice, some deconstructing to reconstruct as myself in self honesty and self responsibility in and as life, here.
I commit myself to breathing, to being aware of my breath in every moment , here.

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Day 186 A desire to comfort.

Day 186
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear that I will not be able to make another comfortable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i can make another comfortable within themselves as who they are.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all that I can be is comfortable with and as myself, and this is only possible if I am one and equal with and as the physical, with what is actually here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my desire for creating/sustaining/ maintaining comfort for another is to ensure that no emotional dramas come to pass, so that I am not faced with facing an emotional drama, so my desire to control is myselffearing facing what is here and standing up, which is based on a memory from my childhood, where as a child I had not the tools and understanding necessary, as I was not taught this, and even if I had, chances are my size would not have been enough to stand up against an emotional adult, which is what happened many times, even within attempting to face and question what was being said, as the act of questioning upset the program in and as not being in agreement, where a program seeks a “like match’ in and as an agreement.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have this fuzzy idea that I am supposed to ensure the ease of another, as thought this is my responsibility, where I cannot determine the ease, inwardly emotionally of another, as this is their responsibility and believing I am responsible for this is actually taking away the life of another and not allowing them to be themselves as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I am not self honest and seek to please another I end upabdicating myself as life, even in becoming the agreeable female, as this creates a design of dependency to an idea that is in separation from life here as it considers an idea and not what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that becoming a savior, watching to save another from discomfort is actually a controlmechanism as a protection defense mechanism from a starting point of fear of attack and fear of being judged as less than, and within this a desire to be considered special.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all of this actually separated myself from common sense of what is actually physically here and only serves some limited ideas of what is good and what is bad, where the being of myself within and as these limited ideas “holds no water”, as in holds no water as life, as what determines us as life is what is actually physically here, as in death nothing of here is taken with us, so evident in that material things are no longer in the belonging of the person having died.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is the being of myself here, interacting in and as the physical that is what is real, and thus within this, it is an absolute crime to deny any child what is needed to sustain life on this planet, it is a crime to deny the physical needs of animals and to abuse them by placing them in environments that do not consider the form and function of the animal as what the animal is in fact, it is a crime to deny the soils water, and all in the name of some idea that profits must be generated in and as money, where the real profit is life so abundant in this actual forgiving earth.

When and as I have a thought that I must brace myself to be ready to provide comfort for another, and I focus on the emotional needs of another, I stop and I breath, and I realize that I am here.
When and as I find myself preparing myself physically through constricting into and as a readiness to ensure the comfort of another I stop and I breath and I realize that I am not responsible for the other emotionally, that my response is to what is physically here in common sense and that should a situation happen where there is discomfort and disease emotionally in another I am in fear of being able to defend myself, where what is needed is to be here in common sense of what is here and to look at what fears are present and to walk through them in common sense in the context of my world where humans that are already in relative comfort exist on this planet, where I realize that there are many who do not even have a chance at survival, as the present structure of this world is not in support of life, the solution to which is an equal money system where life is the value and thus life is what is supported with the freely given resources as earth as what the earth is as an expression of life.
When and as I find myself focusing only on the presence of another, where thoughts of fear such as what this person will think of me, or what others will think of me, or if this person somehow has an idea of outcome that is not met, it will be because I was present, as so many times men blame the woman, or the object present without taking the time to consider what is present in common sense, as the fears behind the blame are based on a fear of loss within a survival based system of inequality.
When and as I imagine that I will end up being blamed for something going wrong within a scenario with another person I stop and I breath and I realize that I am not an unlucky charm or a luck charm, as this is a superstition and has nothing to do with what is actually physically here as life.
When and as I imagine that I might possibly be the cause of disease I stop and I breath, and I stand here in and as breath, with and as what is actually practically physically here and realize that there is no such thing as being accident prone, as an accident is simply a lack of understanding and awareness of what is physically actually here.

More self forgiveness coming on this behavior of preparation in working with another.

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