Day 336 Rammed Earth House

The rammed earth house

One way of building a home is to take the soil directly from the site and pound it into forms that when removed leave behind a wall. This is a building material right under our feet, and it does not require as many trees to be cut down and moved great distances. This method of building has been in existence for thousands of years. Parts of the Great Wall of China were evidently built this way, and remain standing to this day.

The walls of a rammed earth house can be two feet thick, creating what is called a “ Thermal Mass” that collects heat during the day and releases it at night. These homes areenergy efficient using anywhere from 1/2 the heating costs to a 1/3 less in heating costs. They are also acoustically pleasant, fire resistant, insect resistant, and have longevity, and probably less toxic than many modern building materials. Also, one can build this one’s self.

The rammed earth wall is very much like a concrete wall, except that they are made from pounding earth down until the dull thud of pounding the earth begins to ring, then one knows the earth has been pounded down. What is produced is something like the sediment that creates limestone on a river bed.

There are so many ways to do things on this earth, ways that work well with the different environments. Ways that can support the human on earth, simple ways to provide homes for all, and the materials are right here and freely given. Thus, why are there so many without homes, when this is a basic need for men? There really is no excuse for any human not to have shelter and food and self development, as this is what we are, here as life. It is time to realize that this earth provides to support life and the materials are right here under our feet. It is time to take our heads out of the clouds and look down, at what is under our feet, and realize this is the ground, as earth, that supports us as life, and it is in being the haptic beings that we are, that allows real happiness to exist on earth. All humans are capable, with education that leads to understanding what is here and that we are the creators of our world and spending our time here on earth to realize life is the value. Anything that does not allow this is a crime against life.

Take yourself as life back, stand up and support a system that develops life on earth, that takes what we are as the dirt of this earth and creates a home as earth, that takes care and respects life. It is up to us to create heaven on earth. Would you really want it any other way? This is the gift of life, for you. Accept the gift of life, join desteni and support a system that supports life, Equal Money.

Day 317 Immediately Desiring Help: A Past Movement for Attention

I have an early memory of myself wrapping my arms arms around my father. And within this memory I have pictures, as memories of experiences I had in school, as a teacher, with children. One memory an action from my past as a comfort/positive , and another a memory of judgement, blame and irritation towards the behaviors of some children, hereI am having a picture in and as my mind, of a child with a constant need for an insulin shot always asking for permission in class, which is a form of attention seeking, a catch twenty two because the child cannot be denied or blamed but somehow the behavior represents the cause of the disease, and looking at this means one has to look at oneself, thus the irritation. All of this seeming confusing, but the layers of ignorance of this overwhelm. But, this has to be cleaned up, or clarity cannot be reached. The problem must be realized in totality, and the solved. The rewards would be an absence of this behavior, and thus, more time spent in learning, in being here, in equalizing self here, to move here, in clarity with ease. Ease has a lightness, ease is not reactive in blame or spite, ease makes no judgement.
What did I run from as a child into the arms in and as comfort of my father? As the stories told in my family were that my mother did not enjoy taking care of babies. And early memories of my mother were of me sitting and listening, waiting for the allowance to leave. This was not questioned because the consequence of not listening was to much to bear.
This desire for attention.
So, I woke up this morning and my house smelled like gas. I went to the stove and checked the burners. The pilot to the oven was out. Then I lit one of the burners. The flame was really small. Immediately, My mind started to imagine worse case scenario. I had to start to look at what was here, in common sense. That solved I noticed this voice in my mind wanting to immediately call a male friend for help.
What was curious about this was that for a long time, when my children were young, I did not call a male, it is just that there is one around all the time now. So, i stopped and realized that what needed to be done I could do. I have not had the gas filled in two months, so it is simply empty, the pressure is down because the gas tank is empty, and I realized the last time the company filled the tank, their tank on their truck ran out, so the note from the gas man had said he had not fully filled the tank. The company exists with an internal schedule, and as I have found, interruptions in schedules tend not to be remembered. Thus I have run out and the normal fill dates are not aligned with “have fill jobs.” I have learned that interruptions if the “norm” tend not to be noted within systems. Such, causes glitches in the computer programs. lol ( just realize this can be used !)
So, I had to speak self forgiveness on this to stop this desire in and as the mind, which was based on a fear as an idea, as a habit learned from my past. There are steps to clarify something. one simply walks them. And then, if one does not have the money, and/or if the ground beneath one has been taken by some government acting in support of a corporation’s self interest in profit before life, then a human, a person cannot stand and be self responsible, because this ability has been taken from oneself as a living being. And the offerings within such are a sequestering into limited actions, repetitive actions that force a “disnature”, a distance from nature, the anti-life as the hubris of men mad with an idea of control, having separated from life into consciousness as mind only.
I must realize that I can be self responsible, and also that what has been allowed on this earth has come to determine life. I must stand without this desire to “wrap my arms around a comfort” as it is elusive and blind. How I came to be such a movement i cannot at this point remember. I just have another memory of turning in mid play and looking at a tree, like I am turning from one conversation to another, leaving one behind. But even this has a diminutive story within my family. My great grandmother would - as the story goes- spend time in “ the woods” and was considered spacy in some way, and ended up in an insane asylum as this is what the “victorians” did with women who were not the “norm” so to speak. Thus, even this story within me is an idea, a memory as knowledge and information.
I am here, I breath, I look at what is here in common sense and realize how here, as the physical functions, realizing there is no one value greater than another and that ordering values as more than and less than is a self interested act in separation from life, a heaviness creation in and as energy, as consciousness in separation from life.
Just try asking someone to slow down and be specific, you will notice this is the last thing wanted to be done by the mind. The reactions will be of short temper, the nature of a bully, desperately denying and pushing the ignorance of limited ideology. And even within this, a reaction of anger towards this is just more of the same because in the end what must be done is all consequence as all actions accepted and allowed must be looked at, to bring ourselves back, myself back, to here, to become equal and one to and as the physical, with a clear substance of self as life, moving in equality and oneness with and as what is physically here. The memory device as mind, as consciousness, is a “third wheel” separating, warping intimacy with and as life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from here, looking at what is here in common sense and instead immediately wanting to pass on a story of doom and gloom to another, to waste myself as life, into and as fear in allowing myself to become separate from how here actually physically functions.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become e-motions of separation and self abdication, not seeing realizing and understanding that this reaction into and as fairy tales of loss, are of no substance as they are based on a sense of loss only without practical application within and as looking at what is here, as this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the extent to which I immediately go into role play, as the dictates of a society constructed by men, that has not in fact created an existence that supports all life, as is so obviously evident on earth at the moment, where there have been best selling books written by psychologists who have an education and practiced their “art” for 30 or so years, and then write a book at the end of their professional life where in the opening of the book they state that despite all their knowledge and information, they have not managed to help anyone, a clear indication that knowledge and information without practical application has no ability to solve problems, thus all education has done is developed an ability to use words within limited vocabularies without any practice within and as physical awareness as in how the physical world actually functions, as how the mind, as memory actually functions despite the fact that memory can be consuming to the point where is determines behavior, and this in conjunction with a system that does not provide the basic necessities of life, and even has created/allowed -as all of us- a system that turns lack into self interested profit as what has happened with the incarceration/prison system in the supposedly “freest” country on earth, America, where prisons are paid for by the public, and the prisoners make 100% of helmets used for a war economy, a lot of electrical appliances, and numerous other things, for less than minimum wage, where such prisoners have not had an opportunity at an education, or proper nutrition within a system that feeds the poor refined flours in tandem with vegetable oils that are not meant for the tropical environment of the human physical body, and also filled with sugar, and addictive drug that should be banned, as even the production of this uses too much water, thereby wasting and polluting earth’s freely given resources, the consequences of which are destroying earth and allowing the behavior that created this to become more extreme as the nature of greed only grows which is evident within the nature of a debt based system, thus what humans have accepted and allowed is going to get so big that it will be “in your face” before you know what has happened, and then at this point - if it is not too late- perhaps the human will finally realize that the physical world is what is real, and that anything that does not consider all life as the value is a crime against life, that which created the abuse of life presently existent on earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry within and as this, as this is not going to walk a solution.
I commit myself to slow myself down and to breath, to see, realize and understand that all emotions and feelings that I allow myself to exist as, that all thoughts of seeking an ear for my fears, is myself in self abdication in and as life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that knowledge and information is useless without the physical experience of practical application to see realize and understand equal and one to and as how the physical world practically functions within and as what is best for all.
I commit myself to no longer allow myself to immediately go into some fairy tale fantasy when and as I must face what is here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding how much I have accepted and allowed role play as the emotional/feeling responses within and as myself here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding constriction and tension within and as my human physical body, where my breath constricts in the slightest way, to see, realize and understand how this is myself allowing a movement of myself into limitation and thus separation from practical common sense of here, where if I remain in breath here, equal and one, I can practice looking here within remaining within and as a state of ease, realizing that it is this state of ease, as a seemingly vulnerable state that I can realize a gentle movement within and as myself being stable without friction and conflict, this which will take practice as this equality and oneness with and as the physical has not been taught and the system without as a reflection of human separation from and as life, presently determines physical life on earth, which must be realigned within and as supporting all life as life being the value, before the profit of a few.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that the moment I become blame, spite, irritation I am projecting an idea of cause and effect in separation from myself here, abdicating myself responsibility in common sense of what is physically here, even within slowing down and looking at the constructed laws of men, and instead of reacting to such walls as constructs of attempting to control life, it is to see, realize and understand how this maze of law has separated itself from the principle of what is for the commongood before profit, as each acceptance of this in ignorance of life must stop and look at what is here in common sense of what is here. in detail, to see, realize and understand accepted and allowed ambiguities.
I commit myself to breathing, to walking equality and oneness within a practical looking at what is here, and how I am moving within and as myself in terms of emotions, thoughts and feelings that are heavy with conflict and friction, as a separation from myself in and as being at ease with and as life here.

DIP Lite The course to equality and oneness with and as life, here.

Day 296 Transfer Pricing, Usury and the education of a child.

Transfer Pricing, Usury and the education of a child.
It is all tied together. One effects the other. One is the inversion of money to be transferred to a few, causing economic slavery and thus instability,. What happens to a child that is raised within such an environment of economic slavery? What behaviors does such inversion of money create on a species whose existence is determined by money? And who are the ones most effected? What are the effects of a fear caused by constant financial worry? If one is in worry, and each of us should stop for a minute and think about how much we think about money and paying our bills, and within this how much of the lives of our children we miss because we have spent so much time focused on how we are going to pay our bills and our mortgages and fix that roof, and replace that car with over 200,000 miles that in a year - even if one has taken care of that care - or two - will become 250,000 miles? After your mortgage payments, and no vacations, and the principle of the mortgage at the end of the loan, which means your principle payments go up and the interest goes down, which means your taxes go up, which means that the ability of even a frugal person to manage to have an account to place a small amount of money to repair that 30 year roof in 5 years, is virtually impossible.
This system is impossible, it does not create and allow life to simply be.
What is transfer pricing and how does this “invert money” ? Well, it inverts the wealth, the value of resource to nothing at the place of origin and then sends it all around the world, establishing a greater value down the line. It is moving wealth into the hands of another, and in this case, into another country. Transfer pricing should really be labeled as what it is, the transfer of a monetary value given to a resource into the hands of another, before consideration of supporting life.
So what is usury? And how does this follow the same inversion process?
And this is why Christ was so angry and reactive in the “temple”. And please, remember that Christ was a real person, a man, he was not some invisible god!
Money is loaned with interest. This means more money is paid back with the borrowed sum/money. The banks create more money every time someone borrows money and lends this created money. So the value of what was borrowed on, then generates a situation where the interest can be paid on the loan. So, the banks want constant “borrowing/lending” to exist because they can constantly have new money to lend/be borrowed. But, since the interest is not real money it must take from the real “leant/borrowed” money. But there is not enough of this, because there is only so much leant and it cannot possibly cover the interest, the back payment of more than lent/borrowed.
Look at this in a small bubble. I live on a Island with you, the two of us. I have five dollars and you have five dollars. I borrow your five dollars to use ( in whatever way). You tell me that I must give you interest on that 5 dollars, meaning I must pay you back 7 dollars. Okay, where is that “more” 2 dollars? It does not exist.
It does exist in the 5 dollars that one of the two had - one could say. So, that other person eventually gives back the borrowed 5 dollars and 2 dollars of his 5. Now he has only 3 dollars. So, the lender/bank now has transferred the value - as the paper money- to himself, leaving the other with less.
Take this and place this scenario onto your household, into the function and form as usury, as bank lending and personal borrowing. A mortgage is basically the transfer of your wealth to a bank, to another. Usury, interest lending, is wealth transfer. “Wealth” is not just luxury items, it is what you have that supports you as life, this includes the basic needs for existence. The existence of interest lending, and taxing, on those who pay the brunt of taxes, which are those on the lower levels of this pyramid of wealth transfer, allows economic slavery. Economic slavery effects the behavior of the enslaved, as they believe they own what they have, but are placed in a situation where they must worry about that house that is keeping them warm, so basic existence is lost to worry and fear of survival to make that payment with money that does not exist, or is basically moving your “wealth/ life support” into the hands of another.
What would such an environment create for a child? And why is it not understood by the parents that usury is really a criminal activity of wealth ( labor and resource - this also being a home) transfer? Why have the adults of this world not been educated to really understand this inversion process of wealth/resource? Could this be why Christ as a MAN, was so reactive within the money lending/borrowing scheme done through inversion?
Or, do we know this, and we blame the one left on the street for not ‘having figured this out” not stopping ourselves and realizing that it is an impossibility for others to NOT fall.
Back to our children. What does such an environment do to children? Children are born without language and without religion. They do not even know how to walk. Yet they learn, in a relatively short period of time, to move a body with multiple limbs, and speak at the same time. This indicates an ability of depth perception, a common sense of this world that is more than superficial.
Given the illusion of usury and transfer pricing, and how it is taking from one to pay another, to transfer a value to another, causing poverty and starvation, worry and fear, disregard for the real value of what is here on earth. It is taking what is here, the physical stuff of this planet, and giving it a monetary value, and then lending that value out, and asking for a greater return, which means taking from one to pay another, transferring what supports life as resource onto a symbol ( money) and then transferring again the real value of that transferred value into/onto a few, this being the money lenders/banks.
And then taxes can be used to regulate “getting ahead’ to ensure that there is no way to have any savings and to ensure constant lending/borrowing.
Dont’ be upset if this is not understood right away, take the time to look at this, write it out. I remember trying to do chemistry in high school. It was gibberish to me. But another violinist came to me with a perfect test score and showed this to me. I just looked at him and eureka it dawned on me that if he could do that, so could I. I had to look at chemistry over and over again, I had to stare at those symbols and that math - with the electrons and neutrons etc. again and again. I could not see it. And then one day, boom! I began to see it. And it all made sense. So, one moment I was quiet in the face of talking about Chemistry, because I thought it some complicated, difficult thing, and the next thing I knew it was not, it made sense. ( please , I have not looked at chemistry in YEARS, so I would have to review it all, but it would not be some foreign complicated, extremely difficult thing, I could if I sat and looked and went over some chemical process carefully get to a point where I could basically understand the principles- and even here, i would then understand that many of the products sold by pharmaceuticals are repackaged old products, and this is done to - once again- change a price to a higher price with one tiny molecular change- which is another transfer price action)
So, once again, how do the behaviors of “ the economically enslaved” and the “economically able to take ( meaning wealth transferrers)” effect the expression, as the movement of men on this earth? What would such a system create as the very life movement of men on this earth? And how would this behavior effect the children born into a system of such movement? How would such a system choose what is best? It cannot do what is best for this planet, what is best for life, it is by nature, a system of inequality, and the nature of this action is an ignorance of life, because to do this, means the real value is not seen, is not understood. The real value is not taught! Within this, one can begin to realize that everything that is here affects everything that is here. And this ability of this physical world, as thus, a tool to become aware of self as life. This earth, in totality is the gift to become aware of life, I mean, what else is there? Thus this is forgiving oneself to and as life. This is what self forgiveness is. This is why the physical is real and religion is illusion/imagination. Yet, a system of inequality, would make such proposals and use that transferred wealth to project images all over this earth that divert/transfer your attention from what is real!

And then, this is perpetuated and handed down to the children.
I don’t know how many people who have had children, later turn to religion, and such, as they feel that somehow the promise of what they saw in their children when their children were young, was never lived. So, a promise was there, and it died. What if that “promise” was what was real? And it is the action of this system, of economic enslavement as the transfer of value to a few, and the process of limiting awareness, to allow this un equal support, that which is non development of children as life, because the parents are so lost in worry about debt and figuring out how to pay for the development of their children? The parents are not here, as they were brought up within the same system, and now they have a moment of joy, with a new life, and then somehow that life is never fully realized, is never fully lived, that life grows up and somehow the promise of that child is gone. And what is really sick, is that we blame the child, or we blame the genes, or we blame the education we had, or we blame some traumatic event ( and believe me, I had a man tell me when I suggested that we spend some time with the children, that my sons were totally “fucked/screwed up because their father killed himself. Yes, I stopped and I looked at this person, was astounded and thought, how does one follow the other? There are people on this earth who have suffered so much and it did not destroy them etc. Needless to say that was the end of that - at the time) . Yet, blame is living in a past event, and it is more of the same behavior that created this system/existence of inequality, of un equal awareness of this physical gift of life world. The past is not here, and “here” can be seen and understood, it takes some looking at here, just as i had to look at those chemical symbols again and again until I could SEE how they “moved’ so to speak.
There is not time for blame, there is not time for spite, there is only the choice of removing this economic system of enslavement, of value transfer, of this pyramid scheme, it is not supportive of life, and it does not under stand life, it is not using the value of this physical world as the gift of life, as the means to become one and equal in understanding and awareness of this physical world. This system is destroying the one promise that was real, the ability exhibited in children at a young age, when they manage so many things, and that management ability is not developed, it is shut down, and each and every one of us caught up in this system are accepting and allowing this. It is time to stop, to stand and to support a practical way and means to end this. This is to collectively, just as advertising collectively indoctrinates!, stand as all as one as equal, to and as what is best for all, realizing the value is life, and that what is here, as this physical earth, belongs to all of us, as life, as all as one as equal, here. It is time to allow that promise of that child to be lived, It is time to stop this sick game of transferring what supports life into a mirage of ignorance that is fear, that is the behavior indicating that one’s self as life has separated itself from what is real, as life, this that is the real value, here.
Equal Money Capitalism.
Walk yourself out of your own taught, by those who came before, ignorance with the Desteni Lite FREE course. Stop living in the past with an illusion of a promising future, and place yourself here, in common sense, develop the depth of yourself as life. It is time.

Day 252 Imagination dimension: Self abdication character

Day 252 Imagination dimension Self Abdication
I had a dream last night about a house. It was a house I had bought that was filled with drawers and drawers of “stuff”, and a garden outside. The people in my town had come and started to work on the house voluntarily. It was all moving in a haphazard way. This house, with the garden was surrounded by sky scrapers - all the windows looked out onto the garden, a small house in the middle of all these structures. The garden at the back of the house was the only green.
A curiosity existed towards all the stuff in the drawers, memorabilia - some might call this clutter. Having taken care of a house, I felt - in the dream- that all this stuff was overwhelming and I wondered around aimlessly, watching the whole scene, and also curious about all this stuff.
Being a widow and having suddenly lost what I was within the society I lived, I came to live in this small town. Myself in a fog - fear - obligation and guilt. Grief.
My dream in many ways is myself, as my world is filled with stuff, as belief, opinion and ideas, as memorabilia, as an imagination of behavior within assigned roles that delineate and distribute a focus of care within the structure of present society. Even when the role assigned as what the focus of one’s care should be, somehow does not allow the full expression of the person assigned the role, things must be suppressed and ignored or the eye of the spy, as the dictate of the drama will become a mess. Ironically, given the accumulation of “stuff/memorabilia/idols-of-the-past “ collected in the drawers, it seems the props became overwhelming and consumed the space.
I suppose, having lost everything, myself as wondering within what is here, brought on an objectivity, and in my ‘spacyness,” my fog of grief, I had a moment to stand back and see the drama around me, and how limited it was in fact. In one way, my guilt had been so great I remained obsessed with it, and others simply expressed their pity and moved on, whereas I remained, and somehow I started noticing that something was amiss within this world, especially since i was told “ I could never know” and I cannot accept this, it does not make any sense to me. And why do others get so irritated when I act against this belief and yet have no answers to give? I just simply cannot accept this. Things must be known, or how do we ever learn. And we have a belief in learning, or we would not have schools, so right there, there is a contradiction that makes no sense. And even here, the problems within health, especially, continue, and all that has been said for a long time is “ progress is being made” yet I don’ see this in my world. This statement is just this, a statement presented on a piece of paper.
The resources of this earth, are here to be life, and support life. It is man who takes this and creates a value from this. In this dream, the resource as support has been made into objects to hold the past and collect it, as though the actions of the past can be owned. And in this process, the action made idol becomes more than the moment lived. Thus the past accumulates, just as the objects holding the past, ( or in some cases objects of art and technology, are collected to admire the industry/creation of men - which is admiring the outcome and not the whole process , as the creation process) and every time the object is handled the memory comes up, which would separate from being here, equal to here, actually choosing to be the value of simply being, as what the object is a memory of, where it is the being of self as life that is the real value - the rest is supporting the being of self, what has happened is the being of self looked at within a glass bubble of what self was in the past - and this is not being, or a knotted/not beingness, a separate beingness, self NOT being only looking at being.
Imagine this accumulating?!
Is this what created the role play? Did the memory holding come before the role play? Is role play participation within the memory? Did one beget the other? Is this hierarchy on earth the imposition of a memorabilia, grown so big there is little earth left to see? Because the object created, even within the organization within understanding creation, come to believing the object was creator than the substance that offered the opportunity to create? And within focusing on the object, as a value given, the action creating the value, is also turned into a value, and mean while what is ignored is the value as simply being, here. Then, within this, being here, would mean realizing this being as the value, and what was equal in all that was here. Creation would remain,but shared equally, this being the value, no more objectifying and possessing, no more need to clutter and hold memories of past actions and values.
And have not these memories now become a means of survival, meaning signifiers of actions lived as having a value to be placed on a higher shelf within the collection that is in itself a collection of values on display, where we walk through and ogle these values, so separate have we become from the real value simply being life? And would not appear as, as it so obviously is, a matrix of our own construction? The care of which enslaves many expression as life, into and as what serves this?
This is surreal. And there are people who have painted this, because this is what people on this earth have become, zombies of the past, zoomers by of life as the being of self in a past as experiences within label as object are a knowledge and information as self definition instead of the value being self as life, here. Like a construct being a value instead of the substance of the construct. Where, the things constructed are not good or bad, but the ignorance of the substance and the interaction and being as this has become secondary to the object. So, this then has created a system that holds all this in place, and in the process, the most aggressive have cloistered their objects and made others the protectors of this collection, and have also taken the value of the resource and placed a network of laws that funnel this resource unequally in self interested survival. Even these limited values can be taught/promoted/blasted through media, to display one and only one program, with seemingly different embellishments, the degrees - slight- of difference made huge. Thus, do we exist within limited expressions, ignorant of what we are as life, equal and one in all existent on earth.
So, when I have an image, a thought, an emotion, feelings, idea, belief, opinion, past experience come up within me, it is myself resonant with what was taught, as what was presented by this present systems cluttered with objects directing myself as life within a world that perpetuates this to the point where there is little green left on earth, and many starving and suffering, and the resource of earth diminishing as it is not being used as the value that it is, which is life, and thus what supports life, where no life is greater or less than another, as the substance is equal in all, and this substance is the real value. Obviously, the expressions as the forms accepted on this earth, are not allowing life to exist, are not developing life on this planet within full potential in expression as life. Had this been what existed there would not be dis-ease, illness, pollution, reckless treatment and thusabuse of animals and soils and flesh, air and water.
The muse of equality must speak, again and again and again, until this is heard and realized on this earth, and the more becoming this the louder the sound and the more it is heard until this earth becomes life, in full expression, here. The creation must align equally with the substance of life, which would be visible as all earth existing in full expression as life, and thus the measure is the end of pollution, dis-ease, starvation, abuse, neglect, ignorance.

Thus, I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stand back and to see, realize and understand the values I have accepted and allowed to support me as a belief , opinion and idea as knowledge and information of un-investigated significance and understanding to become what i define myself as, as I give something a face value of which I have no understanding within consequence on the physical world, as I have separated myself into a value separate from an awareness of myself as life, equal and one with all existence.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within my imagination, where I follow ideas as to how I should look, how I should respond, what cares I need attend to, without looking at what is here as life, being aware of what exists on this planet and how what I do and exist as, as what I dress myself as , affects the physical world within realizing what is supportive and what is not necessary within myself directing myself here as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become personifications to direct myself here, to abdicate the ability of myself to look at what is here on this earth and to apply common sense within what is practiced, to realize that which is good and that which does not support life, and thus wastes the resources of this earth in ways that abuse this earth and the creatures that exist on this earth, of which I have no real understanding as I have only followed what was taught, what was promoted/presented instead ofquestioning within common sense and standing up in support of life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the patterns of behavior on earth as indicating that something was not in fact supporting life on this planet and that the present structure as the present system of inequality, was in fact not functioning in a way that supported all life, where instead of blaming the object only, what was also the cause was the existent system that has not utilized the resources of this earth to support life, had this been done than this world would be a different place.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the being of myself in and as fear, is myself not wanting to change what I have accepted and allowed as an expression of myself here, even when I notice that I have mood swings from happiness, into sadness, from feeling tired, into being over exuberant, and thus has there been little consistency within and as myself being directive here, where many lack consistency as their health is not supported, which is evident within the amount of disease on earth through lack of sustenance as the resources are grabbed in the self interest of a few, or what is produced with these resources has not real value and thus does not sustain, or what is produced is filled with pollution upsetting the functioning of the physical causing behaviors and illnesses that then require care and time spent on a life no longer able to express itself as life, as the physical is cluttered with the consequences of the mis-use, the ignorant use and abuse of the gift of life given as the substance of the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see the patterns in and as my mind, as memories being a alternate reality, where it is not that some of the values as the memories are bad or good, it is that the design in and as this is in separation from what is actually physically here, where, if life were lived on this planet as self in self expression there would be no need for memories, as memories stand now the human has not developed an ability to sense all life, thus the what is sensed in and as memory is limited as it is a picture based on values presented within a system of inequality , meaning an object being made greater than life, which is an act of separation from what is real here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hold onto the values as the actions of care within which I define myself within the role I accepted and allowed , where the cares are not good or bad, but allowing this to be made huge without awareness of the totality of what exists on this earth and the substance of myself as life, limits my perception and is not in itself, as only being this singular care, does not address how and why such a care is needed, or believed to be needed, or existent, as the autonomous expression of what the care is directed to and towards obviously lacks an existential ability to direct itself as life, here, as what is identified with is limited.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this, the present structure on earth is not supporting life, and therefor must change, where the process of changing this structure on earth will create a change on earth to allow those who are presently able to stand an be life, in self support, and for those that need support because of the consequences of what has existed in separation from life, to be supported until this earth is aligned within and as equality and oneness in and as life, here.

I commit myself to realize the patterns of behavior as values in support of a limited design of survival, passed down and resonant within and as a mind of pictures and knowledge and information separate from reading the actual real physical world in detail, where no detail is left out, or manipulated to serve in self interest, where the ability of self as life, is developed to be in common sense of this actual physical world, that is obviously of a greater technology than anything man has created in his separation from the physical, to align myself with the construct of the mind consciousness system and to realize that this cannot direct me unless I accept and allow this, which is done through self forgiveness,writing and corrective application, to then make this house of memories and values placed onto objects, smaller within and as what i am in awareness, to then align myself to be directed within what is best for all in thought word and deed, to create a life on earth where what is here is life in expression and not life in destruction as a shout of spite and blame, in fear of one object being of more value than another, where a game of competition through comparison is the voice of the ego, as energy, as this lacks substantive awareness of life in common sense, as it is the behavior of the human in self interest.
I commit myself to standing one and equal with and as the construct of my mind as the pictures and memories from my past of the values taught through family, education, media, to forgive myself of these directives, and to take what was good and align myself to what is best for all in humility as any reaction of anger, emotion, and feeling is myself moving within limitation, as when the emotion or feelings comes up, I must see realize and understand that the thoughts collected and compounded into this soul construct creating a personification of my separation, and within this I correct this into and as what is best for all, within and without, as i walk through my self forgiveness and corrective application, within the practice of self forgiveness being lived in application, here with and as every breath, until I am equal within and as the mind/physical as myself as life, here.
I commit myself to cleaning up the house of the mind, a museum of beliefs, opinions and ideas, placed on display as a record of my past, as collected values taught within and as style, behavior, experiences given meaning as being a more than, knowledge learned that when looked at is filled with holes as limitations as not all details were understood within the teaching and or gathering of such supposed knowledge - which was the consequence of a system of self interest within survival within this whole structure of separation from life, meaning that self feared moving self as life, and chose to make the creation bigger than the substance that enabled the creation, and thus within all this, I breath, and I stop and I see, realize and understand what i have accepted and allowed as mind and I bring myself back to earth within and as each breath, where moments of shame and “falling” are not to be judged but to be used to understand where i have separated myself from life here, thus there is not time for blame, or anger, there is only here, equal and one with and as life, here within the principle of what is best for all.
I commit myself to realizing that my “house” as mind, is , as in my dream, much bigger than the exterior garden, and that within this, and with the tools of self forgiveness, writing and corrective application and the principle of oneness and equality, I can walk with breath and take the constructs of singular values and realize how I am directing myself as this, and deconstruct this “house” until I stand equal and one, with and as life , as earth here, where at this period in what has been accepted and allowed , will take some time, as the physical house is needed, and the garden is needed, yet it is to ensure that all life on this earth is cared for, as this is the value as what has been created must be taken care of until all are equal and one to and as life here, as plant, animal, soils, organisms, water, and air.

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Day 62 Comparison is a bubble of separation

Day 62 Comparison is a bubble of separation

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting thoughts of comparison come up while I am working on my house, such as, “ Now my sisters will think my house is nice.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be secretly pleased when my sisters/sister says that I cannot sell my house.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to my sisters.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become jealous of my sisters , when in reality I have learned a long time ago that this makes no sense,  because I always preferred a lot of nature and I realized that I would prefer a tiny house in nature in a supposed “bad” neighbor hood than a big house in an affluent neighbor hood as I have this thing where I need nature or I feel like I am inundated with something heavy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that the culture of man is heavy, especially when I was in Europe, where the Culture of the human is so embedded in every stone of all the old buildings, and nature is the only escape.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a memory when I was first in Europe of desperately needing trees and grass, needing to find a park to sit under a tree, to find some “lightening” from the heaviness of the culture, where this is not a solution, as it is myself wanting to escape from something.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that this is the same thing that is happening in relation to these thoughts of house comparison with my sisters.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to run and hide from these thoughts, which reminds me of fevers I had as a child where I wanted to run and hide from the fever.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see the presence of these thoughts as a kind of boogy man - so to speak- as they are nasty and ugly and make no sense, as wanting what my sisters have in reality has nothing to do with myself here, and if I look at this comparison it has no  clear real definition, and is a general malaise only.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to realize that this comparison triggers accepted norms of value as to how a house should be within American culture, with a flat green mowed lawn and a cared for house which, in common sense, creates a landscape of limited design and limited variety and thus expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the desiring of singularly selected and limited values that I chase after instead of remaining here with what is here, as what is here is life where one tree is not more than another, and that tree works in tandem with my human physical body in creating oxygen for me to breath and to thus exist here on earth, this tree that cannot be owned as it supports life, just as water supports life, and thus can water not be owned as it is here on this earth to support life, thus is a system of profit an absolute atrocity, that what support the human can be turned into a commodity and  made to be something needed to be bought, which is allowing a few to control, and thus the dis-allowance and support of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become righteous about this, when this is just common sense, and thus nothing else is acceptable but that nature is here to support life, and that man can think he can own this and sell this is working against the very thing that supports the human as life, and thus it is an illusion that what supports life can be owned and traded via a piece of paper.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I move from my own  petty jealousies into righteousness about the state of the world, where my findings are not in themselves the issue but the drive of righteousness I move into as I write out my own back chat/comparison/ measuring/be limited value mind separations, where i will then go into self pity, spinning around in all this and thus not being here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I cannot judge these things of the mind as what has been taught that is of limited design, that is inconsiderate of all that is here, that only considers what is presented as being more than or less than, and that the chasing of this more than and less than actually stops the expression of life here, as it is obvious that life here is composed of a multi-varied expression, rejected by the human.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize my own common sense is turned into self pity as I have this cloud of comparison based on limited ideas that I allow to bother me as evident in the back chat in and as my mind, occupying me, taking me away from the joy of what is actually here as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that when corporations present scientific studies of agricultural development this is the negative posed as the positive, where this is called development  is really about measuring land and the potential of land to sell this land and create monocultures on this land, as forcing a profitable idea on this land and handing owner ship of this land to a few, where the people of the land, the animals of the land are not considered and swept away, where in America there have been studies that realize that smaller farms using a system of varied production on the land in fact protect the biodiversity and in the end produce more from the land than the monocultures do.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to see realize and understand that as within so without, where the things - the values- I exist as , in and as my mind, within allowing back chat to suggest that I am less than my sisters - as I compare what we each have, is my self being the monoculture corporation, and not myself accepting what is actually physically here, where if I worked with what was actually physically here - and accepted the variation - I would, just as a smaller farm - be more productive with myself, and expose myself to a richer and more varied life experience.

Within this, I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize how limited the mind is in fact, and that the mind has absolutely no common sense, that the mind cannot fathom the totality of this world, and that these same limited values that are the voices in my head, are what is taught and projected by the media and the gossip as the morality play by the mind - as the separations into and as this limited design- of all of us - neighbors, teachers, doctors, politicians, business men, and on and on, where each and every one of us know this, yet we do not stand up and stop, where it becomes obvious that we must stand up and stop this, as we are destroying this earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to to compare what I have with another.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize comparison of value has no substantive directive development of life, and that when this is of the mind, it is a separation from what is actually here.

When and as a thought comes up that is of comparison, I realize that I am no longer here.

When and as a thought of jealousy comes up, I realize that the feeling of loss, the fear of loss, is what I am allowing myself to exist as, and that this present system drives this wheel as the thoughts that are my mind, as this system built by men, has turned life into a game of survival, where limited values are what is deemed necessary to exist, and thus the varied life of this planet is destroyed as is this within myself when I allow myself to be ruled, to measure myself, by the limited design of a profit for the few system.

I commit myself to stopping and forgiving all thoughts of comparison realizing they are based in fear of loss, and thus not working with what is here, but selectively taken and placed as value to enslave myself as mind, in fear of being myself as life here.

I commit myself to realizing how clear of all this back chat I must become, to not be moved by the crying back chat, fear of loss, control seeking to substantiate acceptance of limitation, and thus stagnant,  personally ingrained limited beliefs, opinions and ideas proposed within a system of profit - accepted and allowed and built by the human, as what  I have allowed for a long time,  to be what I am here, and this done without righteousness and indignation.

I commit myself to listening to the voices of separation from common sense all around me, and to walk the walk to piece by piece bring the cry of separation back to life, back to earth, where the cry indicated the desire for self to find self, to come home to self as life, where no one wishes ill on another, it is that the cry is obsessed with itself and can no longer see what it has become of itself, but if is would stop and stand and breath and listen, it would begin to see the storm of emotion and feeling and thought it has become that is the separation, and that self is here, within and as the physical, the stabilizer, that which is the support, that which is real.

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