Day 662 Moving from mind consciousness to presence here, forgiving the stim of limitation.

I was out walking this morning, when I could see how I funneled myself into ideas, beliefs and opinions. Like I take the very focus of and as me  and force it into a measure, like a construct of values within a creation as an image.

There is this memory of a fear of not fitting in, not reaching others, not getting through, not having interaction.  A sense that I am not seen, as a reaction to reaching the people in my world.

As a child, considering the existent mind consciousness, did I have to catch up to the train of the mind, and focus my beingness equal and one to the measure as the means of communication with the adults around me?  Did I have to enter the storm of the mind to reach through the focus of another? Probably. Did this ‘ hurt’ in a way, or did I allow it to ‘ hurt’ me in a way” Did I see this as a bully on my presence? And yet, did I see this as a means to an end, where I as a child started to read a lot?

Did I become fearful in my attempts to match the measure of belief that motivated the actions of the adults in my world? Did I get caught up in the fragmented mind/value/system forgetting the original goal? Did the information I allowed become an excitement in a desire to reach a goal that was in itself limited and forgetful of considering all things to realize what was of equal value to life as the physical around me? Did I also enjoy the process of creation that is inherent even when a limited form/construct is the outcome?

Am I so used to following knowledge and information that to move from this to the information of life as the physical means abandoning the measure of information I have accepted and allowed to direct me? Am I so used to what is 1% of my capacity that leaving that limited awareness, a comfort zone, appears to be a loss, and the fear of standing outside this socially means causing friction to and towards a collective limitation? If I focus only on the lack, where do I end up? I cannot blame or spite the lack, that leads to further fragmentation. Hence I can only focus myself here, accepting the life that is around me as the physical.

I have the space and the time here, to investigate and understand the physical world around me, where there is no place to fall, as falling will only move into the nothing that is the everything, the darkness that is the light, the very substance of creation, always here, the most gentle of all things, the most forgiving of all things, the potential of all things, right here, thus I can forgive myself for all things as this is the expression of creation. I need not fear any bully of information, as change involves by nature transformation which is forgiving, as forgiving is returning to nothing that is everything. I am here. 

Thus in every breath, I forgive myself to here, to assessing what is here, realizing it cannot define me in the next moment, and as this there need be no despair, no fear of loss as the nature of creation is change, fluid, constant. I can focus here, let go the mind only consciousness, as accepted and allowed information, taking that which is good and does no harm, to return myself in every breath to that which is gentle, present, nothing and everything.

I slow myself down to realize my own measure of stimming myself into a limited expression. tensing myself, forcing myself , bullying myself into an inner mind consciousness in separation from respect of all things, taking that which is good and does not harm. I am here. I am life. I choose equality and oneness with and as life, as this is what I am here.

Day 661 Moving into reaction instead of solution.

Moving into reaction instead of solution.

Yesterday I met someone while out in my world and had a conversation where  I talked about some behaviors with a certain person in relation to dealing with someone we both knew.

After the conversation, as I walked in the market, I suddenly had a movement within me that was heavy. It moved down from the top of me head, into my solar plexus. There in the supermarket, I had to slow way down and breath, as in that moment it became difficult to walk. Meanwhile, within remaining in breath, I realized that I had become a measure within as a belief, or played out a habit that I did not catch, I did not align into what is best for all.

Looking back, I realize I had allowed myself to move into fear. I had allowed myself to see doom and gloom within a situation instead of moving into solution that brought the reward of moving within the relationships around me with ease.

The situation was one where I had spoken with a person many times, agreed upon an arrangement, and that person would come back some time later and change her mind. I would then build an acceptable agreement, only to have the same thing happen again. I could feel myself starting to react. I felt like I was in a game that went nowhere.

When I met this other friend in the market, I started to question her about this other person, and she agreed with my assessment. She even asked the same question. Thus, there I stood as a reaction, becoming a blame, and moving from being directive to becoming someone who labeled something as being limiting. There is nothing necessarily wrong with this, as assessing behaviors is not a bad, and cross referencing is not bad. It was the fear I had there in the back of my mind, of a potential for a loss of opportunity, and the movement into feeling unworthy as being the cause of the ‘ wall’ in front of me. 

My assessment of this person may be correct, and may also need, at the same time, additional respect as to what is the starting point of their responses.  Yet this does not define who and what I am in terms of my worth as this is an idea within myself, and has nothing to do with directing myself here.  I can only be here, unless I believe that what is in my temple as that which is formed within me as idea, belief or opinion, which is a form of usury.  If I believe what I am formed as within, as my imagination only,  I am usurious of life around me as the physical world, because instead of remaining here in common sense, as respect of the physical, valuing all life, I am believing a measure within me and imposing this onto reality- I am selling my soul- my inner creation, instead of respecting the means of that soul, the physical. Hence my inner measure which is composing a picture show, is in total separation from reality and the consequence of this will all ways be a limitation, and that limitation because it has no real grounding, will cause insecurity, anxiety and fear. I will not see clearly here. I will cause friction with reality, I will not fit into living, I will not fit into creation. I will become stagnant. I will lose opportunity. I will separation from life. I will it. I allow it. I accept it. What is of the temple within, must be equal to the temple without as the physical. All things must be respected, everything. 

Thus, within this situation, I had to slow way down. I had to see, realize and understand where I was taking things personally, as potentially defining me as having no worth. This is myself believing that how I defined myself was more than reality, and that this was potentially going to be lost, ignored, or discredited. Non of this has anything to do with reality, with being here as a physical beingness.

Perhaps there is reason within this woman’s choices. That is okay. Perhaps there is overprotection going on within this person. That is okay, caution is necessary. Yet, within myself this behavior is just this, a measure of belief, and not one that determines who and what I am here. I either meet with the person I wanted to see, or I do not. Either way, I am here, living.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a reaction and then to move into managing my own reaction, instead of remaining here, assessing and doing that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become frustrated when I believe I have resolved an issue only to have that issue come up again and again, despite working through ideas and believing, and even at times, moving into superiority, in relation to a disagreement between two parties.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have wanted agreement, without slowing down to realize the perspective of others, in more detail around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow a measure, as a perspective that had nothing to do with me, define who and what I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as my own self interest, without slowing down and assessing a situation and the reactions as the behaviors of others, to a greater degree, to find solutions that moved with more equity than reaction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is something wrong with me,  which was myself being what I was projecting onto the person and their behaviors around me, thus was I being what I criticized and not moving into understanding and solutions that created the reward of living with ease, here, on this physical planet.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that self interest, I accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush in my own self interest, despite having taken time to assess, as the behaviors around me revealed that more assessment was needed, or to consider the interest of another, within their comfort zones, and to ease this, within and as a understanding of how a mind consciousness moves, as this is what I would have wanted for self, and within this, the way and the means to remove resistances, as in building trust, which takes time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost, as within this, when and as I react within an idea that something is lost, I am not moving in consideration of all things, and building an understanding that lends self direction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to blame instead of continuing to understand until all things are clear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become annoyed, when and as I find myself having to reassess something and remain within and as what is trustworthy, as in never needing to lie, as myself as a directive principle in and as life, takes that which is good, in measure and builds what imparts a sense of ease, which is sharing a presence that solves instead of resists.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become lost within a limited measure of belief, opinion and idea within and as what I have accepted and allowed as a version of reality in the temple of my mind, a mind consciousness in separation from the means of life, of respecting all things, including the physical as the physical is life information, as the physical is the potential of life information.

When and as I find myself reacting, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess what I speak, to ensure that my words move from problem to solution to reward.

When and as I find myself polarizing a value, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess if I am within reaction to a problem, or moving instead into solution of a problem.

When and as I find myself moving into fear, as in imagining a doom and gloom scenario of loss, or lack of communication, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down until I am here, grounded, and can direct in ways that are not myself manipulating in self interest in protection and self defense based on an idea within and as the temple of a mind consciousness of limited values that I have accepted and allowed to define me instead of remaining grounded in life, the physical.

When and as I find myself becoming ashamed of what I have accepted and allowed, as a mind consciousness of belief, opinion and idea in limitation, ignoring what is real as the physical life information around me, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that remaining in shame is not grounding myself here, in a practice of respecting all things as the physical.

When and as I find myself calling something by name, which may happen, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that I can only ground myself into speaking what moves from problem into solution in stable ways that lead to rewards for all concerned as much as I am able, here, in this moment here.

When and as I find myself allowing a situation to define who and what I am, I see, realize and understand that this is information I accepted and allowed based on a past, where I acted in the self interest as a mind consciousness in separation from respect for all things.

When and as I find myself seeking validation from another, I stop and I breath, and I realize my starting point as being one of self interest or assessment into perspective as a cross reference and within this I allow no blame and spite , I slow down and move within and as what is solution in terms of what is best for all, here.

When and as I find myself moving into guilt for not having slowed down and investigated further, beyond reaction, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I, instead of resisting in self interest, I place myself in the other’s shoes for a moment, and accept the perspective to realize solutions that lead to what is best for all here.

Day 660 The ease that comes with self responsibility.

That a child is born without language and without culture, means that a child eventually is programmed. This means a human is a programmed man. What is behind that program is a form, that can take in information as what is impulsed within an environment. If what is programmed into a man, ends up in friction and conflict than what is programmed, which is a measure, must be looked at and corrected until that man performs with ease, meaning without dis-ease, without friction, without conflict. A dis-ease, meaning a lack of movement in this physical reality, and a lack of movement that is beneficial for all,  is a program that is not of equal measure to what a child is before any language and any culture becomes the measure as what comes to direct the physical form.

Each has a presence that is an ability to look at measure, which is form. We are this, or we would not take in the form of the culture of the language in our environment.  The choice to move from the collective to the personal, reveals this capacity too. It is all a form of change within, a change in measure, in using values, bringing some forward and placing others in the back ground. This means that we are all aware of what it is that we do, in every moment.

We are born, without a measure, meaning without language and without culture- though we may have some genes from our forefathers, that come on and/or go off. Yet this too, reveals that a measure within can come to direct us without, yet since we can change, that measure need not be what directs us. And, we can blame no one for what we accept and allow, because the physical practical world is always right there in front of us. 

Also in this sense, all the religions of the world are a measure, and a program, because we are not born with them. And since all the religions of the word have not created a situation where each and every man is at ease, meaning in their full potential, non of the religions in this world are valid, they are a measure that has not created ease on this earth, they are a program that is not working.

Life will eventually come out, meaning no suppression can ever work, Meaning, if the program is not equal to what allows the full potential of a man to live with ease, then the measure of the belief system is not aligned with life. If  the measure of life on earth were equal to a state of ease, then there would be no religion, the name would not need to exist. What would be on earth, is life. 

If someone comes up with an idea, and then walks the necessary steps to implement an idea, and suddenly conflict and discord happens, it is not the object that is to blame, as the act of blame is not the corrective measure, which means to investigate , to communicate, to assess all movement and measure, to see where the smallest of movements arise that show where a loss of ease of movement has occurred, and to correct this. A behavior of blame, is not this action, is not this movement. An action of blame has forgotten that a child is not born with language or with culture, and that the form as the man is capable of many many things, varied things, hence all possibilities of movement must be assessed when a consequence of friction or discord, or frustration happen in the man. One has to assess the form, and all things in the environment, not a belief system as what religion really is. A man is a physical form, not a meta-physical construction of a right and a wrong. The physical world is the starting point of what a person is before any meta-physical construction of limited values. Disease is a suppression of life, because it is that presence that measures/senses space and time and learns the measure of language and culture, that is not equal to a measure within that allows an expression without that moves with ease. 

In this modern age, where the world can work together, to produce food, and energy, and goods that last, and give each access to learn things, is there any reason for a belief system that limits the ability of that child that is not born with religion and culture to not explore and learn any number of things? With the technology we have today, is there any reason to play roles when we have the means to follow what we once desired to follow as children when we, for example , were interested in mechanics, or dance, or plants, or animals? And if each child were allowed to follow their inclination when it went outside of any cultural or religious conscription based on a past, what would become of this world? Would we continue to fall into addictions that consumed us, to fill what is really a lack of having been self trusting and following what we found made us feel fulfilled and happy? Would there be addictions to sex, for example if each had been self honest and followed what allowed them to express themselves and became the measure of a person who felt at ease? And, when a person is at ease, is there any desire to do any harm? Or does the person realize, having been self honest, that the only way is to do that which is good, respecting all  physical forms/things, in every moment making the choice to do no harm as the state of being that is the only way to understand and direct into living here on this earth with ease? 

The present systems on earth, are really a reflection of a lack of self responsibility. They are managing that lack of self responsibility in each. Religion is to manage what is a lack of self responsibility. The money system is to manage what is  a lack of self responsibility. Gender bias and class order, they are to manage a lack of self responsibility. All of them, they are a reflection of self abdication of one’s common sense, as it was that presence within, that had no language or culture, that absorbed the measure without. This means that that presence within, that which can change, as the ability to assess what one accepted and forgive it into a measure that leads to what self responsibility will bring, which is a state of ease. A state of ease has no blame, no desire to hurt, no desire to spite, as that presence realizes that the only choice is to become self responsible, as in respecting all things and taking that which is good for self, as what is best for self is what is best for all.

It is interesting to realize that blame and spite, that lack of real investigation of our present system,  is a reflection of how much the self suppresses the very life within one’s self that is the very presence that has the ability to change and reform, and become responsible and stand with ease here on earth.  It is like one is working really really hard to reject joy and ease! 

We have become a mind conscious of lack only. That self definition of lack is all we can see, because we choose to focus on it! And that lack is composed of parts that need to be balanced back into what it means to live equal and one with creation, which is physical, that real thing under your feet. That construct, that measure one relies on, that religion, is a imagination that is not respectful of what is constant and ever present- the physical world. And the physical is composed of the substance that is life information.  The doom and gloom imaginations are a consequence of judgement, as a belief in good and bad, where the imagination can compose any manner of things. And that imagination sucks from the physical, like a matrix that is a construction, a quantum construction imposed on the physical. It cannot work, and it is not working. It leads to suppression of life and will as a consequence cause conflict and war, as the life within is stressed through lack of equality to itself where is can live self responsibly. This state of self responsibility is a state of ease- one that cannot pretend. No one has really lived this, had they, then there would be no death, as the end of a form,would be a transformation, not a destruction or a draining of life. As we can see with what is happening in our world, our systems are a structural violence, reflecting the lack of self responsibility within each. The only choice, is to become self responsible. This means being equal and one with life, the physical that is life information. This means taking that which is good and does no harm. This means making the choice to live with ease, as this is one’s natural state of being.

Day 659 Stopping Imagination to realize the value of being present.

I woke up in the morning And I noticed that I readily went into my imagination. I had to stop.

It is like a pull into something to do, to be. Behind which one can create an outcome that allows one to win in one’s mind. And it has nothing to do with being here. It has nothing to do with reality, the physical.

It is like running down some hole, that spins, like a vortex. One can jump from one to another, and end up in total separation from reality.

And it lacks the ease that comes with doing. Like when one stands on a stage in a hall, and fills the space with sound - understand’s one is doing this, and realizes it is cool and can be played with, like paint on a canvas- I suppose. Yet here I try and think through metaphor what the difference is between doing and imagining.

If the hall were not there, how could I enjoy what the sound does? In this, I need the physical world. What is happening in my mind when I am focused, within paying attention to what the sound I make is doing, is a silence.

There have been times when I played, and I was so in fear of what others would think, or so in fear that I would make a mistake, that my attention was more on the lack, on this potential of missing something, and all the possibilities of that missing, that I had no awareness of what the sound I was making was doing as it moved out into the room. My presence was on an imagination within me, composed of  an idea of lack, instead of being present with the physical and assessing, in this instance, how the sound I made with the instrument was moving in the space that I was in.

Fear is a fickle thing, one can go into it and find there is nothing of any real substance there; on the other side there is nothing, because imagination is but a film in the mind, meaning, a film of a limited story, it is not what is real thus it has no real form. If men  believe imagination  to be more real than the physical, the behaviors become of the film, and not of the reality, and the film is then imposed on the physical, in thought, word and deed. This is where harming the physical comes in, because imagination is forcing itself onto reality, the physical. Imagination is not bad, it is just this, imagination. It is a means to double check something, and nothing else. The physical must always be cross referenced.

It is like the Matrix movie, yet men are walking around with the bubble around their heads, not yet in a literal womb-bubble. In the matrix the physical has been forced into supporting an imaginative world, to generate electricity. We are not there yet, we still have some animals and trees and grasses left. In the Matrix, there are none of these things, the physical landscape is dead of that kind of life, that formation. Yet if we realize how much we have moved into watching screens, then we an see where we are going. 

The irony is that we want to remember ourselves to the physical world, because being creators with the physical, has an ease that imagination cannot when made more real than reality as the physical world. When one is moving with the physical world one is in full focus, full employment as the physical, where creation becomes manifested, where one would only choose what does no harm, because one harms the very thing one needs to hear how that sound moves in that space as that hall- so to speak. The imagination cannot have the application and response that a physical form can have.  We abdicate responsibility when we decide that our imaginations are greater than reality as the physical world. What we have in the world today is each abdicating life for their imaginations, causing a fear of common sense, because common sense shows who accepted imagination over life. Common sense of the physical reality, which means no single movement of blame and spite, is what self as life really is. This is giving unto another as one would have given unto themselves- understanding what directs in practical ways.

My body is an instrument. For this to be in full employment, I must realize that the physical world is what is real. This comes before imagination, hence it is to re-member myself equal and one with the physical world. Instead I have learned to float in imagination, to place my presence, into imagination instead of learning to focus myself here, respecting the means of myself as the physical world.

It is interesting to see that when I have approached something  with an inflated value within myself, meaning that I was not present in my experience, the next time I am in that same space, what I previously allowed as a judgement ( which is what an inflated value is) is still there, until it is not! This means that I must forgive what measures I focused on that were not myself focusing on what is real, as the physical world that is here, right in front of me. In other words, one could say, I lacked real presence. I missed the life that was real, practical, a gift.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from reality, from the physical in every breath, from being present here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the imagination in and as my mind consciousness is more than the physical reality surrounding me that is me, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to answer to the pull of my accepted and allowed information in and as my mind to become the consequence of separation from reality, the means of myself as life in expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, play the savior in and as my imagination in and as my mind, to believe that I am a winner, motivated by the alternative of a fear of loss, a fear of worst case scenario outcome, thereby missing the practical real measure of the physical world that is me, without which I am not in full employment of myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear making a mistake

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must compete to win.

I forgive myself  for accepting and allowing myself for not focusing myself here, in respect of reality as the physical, enjoying creation, as the means of my existence here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine worst case scenarios, instead of becoming what I am, as my ability to sense reality, being within this the directive principle of life, which is the presence of myself here, focused on reality, and within this, realizing that around me are hued men, who seek self responsibility as life, meaning equality and oneness with and as the physical world here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to breath in every moment, to assess myself in every moment, as I have accepted and allowed an imagination to become larger than life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I believe real living is impossible, I am in the memory of my past, as having believed what measure I accepted and allowed within my imagination, and the consequence therein, is how reality works, that I am only capable of mistakes on reality, a distraction from being responsible here, as this is only more imagination, filled with self blame, hence I slow myself down and I breath, and I ground myself here, equal and one to being present in the practical measure of what is here in this moment, to ground myself into the means of living, as the physical world, to enjoy placing my presence here, to become equal and one to the sound of life, here.

When and as I find myself moving into a presence of fear, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that I am moving into my past in blame and idea of doom and gloom, as a picture show in and as my imagination only, a polarized version that is not equal to the practical as the measure of the physical world,  and I stop, I place myself here, to walk the next step  here.

When and as I find myself weighed down within and as my movement here, as my physical I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down to see realize and understand how I have programmed myself to sense reality around me, to instead ensure that I am present and aware of what is real around me, and not a limited measure of idea that I have allowed to direct me time and again, a measure as energy/judgement I accepted and allowed, that started with the small and accumulated into how I direct myself to exist as a presence in and as a mind consciousness instead of real presence cross referencing with every breath life that is physical and here.

Day 658 Ideas need not define me, because what I am before ideas is physical.

I realize in so many ways how the habit of fear, of not looking here, can cause myself to want to hide or rush an idea into a situation. And all the while, that which is needed to solve problems is practical and measurable, right in front of me.

The other day, in a presentation, I slowed way down, breathed, and instead of rushing to reform I stopped and looked at the inform I allowed and the inform of those I presented to. I realize I had time and space.  It is like listening to a piece of music, the difference in not judging this.  I allowed the other person to complete their train of thought, to where it simply stopped, as I could see they began to answer their own question. 

This was a moment where I realized that nothing can define me but what I accept and allow, and how much ideas can drive one to the extend that an ideology is pushed without regard for all things, meaning to work with what is here, and to reform into building a focus that has responsibility in every moment. In this, any friction is getting stuck on a lack, where the limited form can be directed into what finds solutions, as what can lend ease to a situation.

I have allowed blame and spite to be the behavior of myself, instead of allowing assessment of reality, to gift myself self responsibility. Self responsibility is what each seeks, as in the desire to push one’s information out is a desire to respond, yet somehow the desire to participate has separated from real responsibility, which is to consider all things and take that which does no harm. To cause harm is to destroy a means of being responsible in a seemingly odd twist. One is chasing an ideological form without cross reference to reality. We have been told not to follow false idols, and a false idol reveals itself in actions that cause behaviors of harm in mankind.

Where does truth hide when idea is made greater than reality? Right here. If we look at the media at present, it is touting blame and spite onto a people who have fled a country that no longer has a infrastructure to support them, only to turn and propagate a fear of the same people under the guise of their religion. This is a stew of ideas and beliefs and opinions, streaming though a ubiquitous media owned by a few, in self interest, that is an idea that has no relevance to what it means to live. All those refugees are people, just like you and me, and they, just like you and me, want to feed their families and take care of their children, they want to enjoy life, they want to live. Anyway, the story makes no sense, as who would decide to get on a very thin boat and risk death unless the situation was extremely desperate? I mean, when Americans decide to help in this country, class barriers are forgotten, as well as religious differences, even species differences are forgotten because we will help animals - and they have no religion. 

Our media is buzzing with fear mongering, again and again. And, our congress in American, is passing ‘ mandates’ in the interest of the means of wealth accumulation and suppression of self responsibility in each, despite many standing up and pointing out problems with accepted practices in this age of information readily available on the internet. It is like the information of innovation and lack in current accepted practices is right here. Instead of using common sense, on the ground, we are the good students of imagination only, following information without question, as we accepted a schooling system that by design took us away from reality and forced information into a memory. We are zombified by information, accepted as a truth, despite the outcomes of lack surrounding us in every way. I mean just look at the health of Americans, and our children, we are not healthy and it is getting worse, despite what the media touts.

There are many in my world that say they can see this, and yet believe there is nothing they can do. And meanwhile, many jobs are tied to this system of dis-ease maintenance. So, in reality, there is no one holding this in place but each and every one of us, waiting for someone else to solve the problem, when is is only each of us that can solve this problem.

We can start by investigating our own accepted and allowed beliefs, opinions an ideas, and investigating the real measure of what supports us and what supports the men as the human refugees that no longer have homes because it has been bombed into a state of rubble. These men, these humans, are at the point where they simply want what we all fear losing, which is a stable shelter, clean water, nutritious food and an education.  A system that respects life is necessary in all measure, which means each must stand up and respect what it means to be a physical beingness.

As children we are not born with language and culture, this is what is impulsed afterwards. Hence we are all the same, it is only what measure of belief, opinion and idea that we believe defines us, that we learn, that causes discord and strife. What we are first is a form as a man/being on earth. The rest is a collection of values about life, based on an experience one was exposed to, like carrying information about how to live that can change from one climate to another, from one moment to another.  In this sense, religion is to justify not wanting to change, to project a blame onto something else, because a man has chosen an idea about something to define him, instead of realizing that what a man is, is a form that has two arms, a torso, a head, and two legs that are perfect mechanisms to interact on this earth, create things, build things, working with nature. And that men have the ability to assess the nature of the environment and understand it. Somewhere along the way, ideas became greater than reality, and the few who forced their ideas over others, in the temples of their minds as their memories, forced others to pay them to follow their memories, their measures of belief, opinion and idea! Within this, the followers accepted and allowed this despite the harm it has done and continues to do to so many living things on this earth. Our responsibility is to life on earth, to become what sustains and respects all life.

The things dividing us, are ideas made larger than reality, as the physical. That physical world, is the truth hidden right in front of us. As our refugees make clear, it is not ideas that sustain us, it is food, shelter, clean water and an education that equalizes us to being at ease on this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an idea before respect for life, as physical in form.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe the measure in and as the thoughts, ideas and opinions, within and as mu mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that one value is more than another, and within this, to not see realize and understand that a value is a value, and has a name that fits into physical living, as in practicing being life, and respecting all things, taking that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place idea before life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not ground myself equal and one to the physical world, in thought word and deed in every moment of breath here, to see realize and understand that what ideas exist within and as my mind are just this, ideas, beliefs and opinions in and a s my mind, where I can slow own and cross reference the physical reality to ground ideas, beliefs and opinions in measure to a practice of physical living that causes no harm.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that self direction as mind, as idea only is energetic,  as this is the measure of that idea inflated and made larger than life, separating presence into an inferior state of being.

When and as I find myself ungrounded in reality, as in losing a sense of being self responsible with ease, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I cross reference my within to the without, my above as an accepted mind consciousness, to the below, to investigate and assess and consider all things as all things are me in another life, until I am calm, serene, at ease, to ensure in thought word and deed that which takes that which is good and does no harm, applying the golden rule to give as I would receive, and to build a world that is what is best for self, as this is what is best for all.

When and as I find myself having a shallow breath, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I assess all things, taking that which is good, in this physical manifestation of life as life would, to ensure that no harm is done to plant, animal or man, to stand in responsibility with and as all life, to become equal and one with life as the physical, as this is the eye of the needle, the gift to birth myself in equality and oneness with life.

Day 657 Where am I constant?

I notice there are times when I do not react to another’s behavior. I noticed I become very patient  It is like water rolling off of me. More often, I either do not respond, or in the same calm way that I am within not reacting, I speak up and reform what is said, in the third person. It is as though I am not placing any blame on the person, it is more that I look at the information and reform it, or take it into something that is no longer inflammatory, or inflated into a polarity as some aspect being made a huge value.

So, I ask myself why I am not this way all the time? What triggers do I maintain that I then fear happening?

Reacting to information in a judgmental way, a self protective criticism is used like a shield, usually to point out a mis-take as an enlarged value that is stupid/stooped in its limited perspective.  And this is because I have done the same, or am wanting to hide how I did the opposite, and want the attention turned towards the other.

Meanwhile, I am aware that the mind consciousness of self interest, will scream it’s own limitation, thus what I am doing when I react, is screaming my own limitations, wanting to hide through projection of a wrong onto someone else. It is like a rise in energy, within, only to be followed by embarrassment, hoping no one realizes. Everyone usually does realize, they silently just want it to pass, not having to sort this all out. And I have done the same. Sorting this all out seems impossible, when it simply means realizing the game of self interest, a self within believing that some value defines self and the existence of a potential for that to be lost. 

Those times in contrast, when I listen, without judgement, and review the information presented, take the information as a form, something that is mutable, meaning, not something fixed and eternal, is done with more ease, calm, serenity and stability.

Naturally, within such a state of being, I am more fluid, more creative, more able to see from more than one perspective. I am more able to be self honest. I am not within an energy of needing to lie, thus the experience has no sense of being a burden.

One is more self directive and the other is more reactive. One has more of a sense of rushing, of forcing an opinion outward, and the other is more able to stop, slow down, hold onto a perspective, and maintain it within changing as one moves through a review of it. One has more a sense of constancy.

Thus, when I face a reactive environment, either self generated or happening around me, I have to slow way down and stop, until I have that sense of seeing the information in a non-reactive way, indicative in an ability to retain the information and either speak up about it, or if someone else should speak up, let it go. In this, the reforming of information, or adding perspective, is about the information and not the object from which the information comes, and this in relation to the information that comes from other men via descriptive language.

Those times when the information coming towards me, or a storm rising within me, appears to be too much, means that I have some investigative action to take. even when this information comes in the form of hope, as a positive energy, all dreamy like, like a potential is going to happen, when this is an expectation dream based on countering past mis-takes reordered to stand once again. 

Usually, this is accompanied by a tiredness of sorting this all out.

Interesting here, that I have this image of myself as a child, with all this information coming at me, like a huge weight and I am supposed to sort this out. And it appears really huge and indecipherable.  I remember also, before I started to walk the process of deconstructing the mind consciousness I accepted and allowed, was being so sick of this heavy thing within me, that one day I just went into it, just wanted it to go away, so I went into it, instead of trying to hide from it. I mean, I would wake up in the morning feeling like I could not move, knowing this was an illusion, and wanting to know what this was overall. Sometimes I would lie there sensing the weight of it, because it had this huge weight. What was this thing?

Now, there are times when I realize that this weight is an information that is what I have created, because it is what I access to direct me, as it is the information that is me, as what I have accepted and allowed.

Hence, this is the same on all of us, in those around me. So, within this understanding there are times when I am calm and do not react to this in others. So, there are moments when I address this as information, where somewhere I myself am aware of this. I am aware that the behaviors of others, is information that is then directing the person. I do not react, and even have a sense that this is a storm, something that will pass, and that listening to the words, will reveal the form, and that this can be reformed. And I do not feel threatened in such situations.

What I am doing when I react is battling for one personification of values to be more than another, instead of realizing that everything as information is a personification of values, and accept it as that, and learn from it, enjoy it. Yet, I either allow myself to be conditioned by a limited set of personified values, to survive, or I remind myself here as a man, with a set of values that is me, that is what I am here, as this including the physical world. And, to realize that what hued-men/humans have done is become a bubble of a storm of energetic personified values, like a walking picture show of values, usurious to the very life of the physical man walking under the weight of this “ heavenly’ personification. If this is how one has programmed oneself, because we do program ourselves otherwise how would anyone master the violin- for instance, then, I would wake up in the morning with this huge weight above me, that scared me and that at times was of an information that could not direct me - obvious in my resistance to other information around me! My behavior would be to react in protection and self defense when not fitting into this world or the same limited value personified behaviors in others because it is not equal to reality, as the value of life as the physical real information that is the real me.

Thus, when I find myself not being calm, and serene, and in a quiet assessment of information, I have to stop, to breath, and assess my own accepted and allowed information, even when feeling overwhelmed by a weighted form around me, until I have slowed enough to address it and move in a way that is stable, that can stand. A within what carries no weight, as what can remain eternal is always there as those times when I became a natural ability to assess. That “weight”, is but very thin, meaning of no real weight, it is only my resistance to it, that has it appear to be a weight. And also, those times when such information rolled off me like water, yet was readable, able to be reformed as though it was me, yet understood this was only for a moment.

Day 656 Information is not free, yet information is free.

In the last days I notice a growing loopy-ness, as I call it. Meaning, I have a sense of not being grounded, present, here.

It feels like there are too many things to juggle at the moment, like I am pulling stings and balancing them out.

I watch for self pity, blame, spite, anger, anything that does not move into solution, as in bring clarity and discernment in removing discord and stabilizing in ease, as in not having to uphold a lie. In this, I begin to realize what I speak must stand on its own. The value being in the words being a structural guidance that never falters. What I construct with my words, can lye within what is eternal so I never have to go back and correct. It is to say what I mean and mean what I say.

In a world where emotions of value judgement elongate in space and time, and move into nouns, like a ‘ now’ that is not here, and this ‘ noun ‘ is believed to bring renown, I at times, lose all patience. And then I feel like I am beginning to move into some soupy area some might call airy fairyness .

This comes up when I mention music. I find that within this, I open a door to another giving me their story about how they wished they had studied music, or how they played an instrument and, often, gave up. It appears to me to take a really long time to have to listen to this. And, as I say these words, I remember all those times after a performance when I encountered the audience and the long stories and praise about the music and their own relationships with music. At times, after years, I wanted to gag. Here, in my thirties, I realized that it had nothing to do with some talent or some specialness, it was having walked a process, a practice of measuring within the necessary steps towards becoming aware of the means to an end as a physical action right in front of me. the only thing ‘ blessed’ about this is the magic in doing.

I can also relate this to education, to the current pyramid scheme of information access. The information around us is like a song, it moves at a certain measure, a certain beat. What is free, as in our public schools is not really free, and the measure is one of information flow that is extremely slow, metered out over time, as though the metering of information is paid out in relation to access. The more access to information, the more one pays. 

Even within class structures this is true, as the more access to others with more access to greater measure, which is greater understanding, the more variations one is exposed to, and the greater the vocabulary one has - as in the greater exposure one has. Thus, what appears to be cheap, is cheap, within and as its very measure of information. One could say, that lesser measure of information is inflated in time and space, metered out, over a greater extent of time, acclimating one to that measure, until it is believed to be a truth. In this we program the physical with what measure of exposure we can pay for. This is how a ‘ good’ as public school education can appear to be beneficial, yet it is not. Were public school beneficial, we would not have the growing elephant in the room, as the varying degrees of attention deficit dis-orders. Ironic how in our words we tell ourselves what we are accepting and allowing. And, our religiously indoctrinated minds, take what we accept and allow through admission, and instead of looking at what is measurably right in front of us, as space and time, we reject investigation, or if we do, we fear to stand, as I have, and instead become reactions of blame. And yet, on some level, this act of blame is an act of crying a measure and then voicing it, where the listener must have great patience for the storm to pass, a storm of limitation, and then direct, giving into the elongated structure and bringing it back into a practice that grounds in common sense, as this is the way and the means to giving as one would receive, which is to give the measurable means to self responsibility. Some will choose the storm of their separation, not yet able to hear though the resonant dissonance.

If we become what we think about, we program our physical bodies, resonantly. I mean, there are cultures of people that believe if a man sleeps with a woman, that that woman is then dirty. In a way this is an admission that we program our bodies resonantly. In this example there is another layer, that if the man is the one who has slept with the woman, than that man is the cause of that considered-to-be-what-dirties the woman. Yet, this whole system of circular thought shows how twisted the mind and its justifications can be- and even made into a truth by the victors that is then programmed into a culture, a measure, a data that builds a societal structure that is obviously not what is best and disrespectful of physical living- that physical living that can be programmed. Obviously, this cultural ‘ truth’ is creating an inferior object through projection of a series of words/measure configured and repeated until it is believed to be a truth, the real action a rejection of self responsibility by the real actor as the screamer, the screamer appearing superior ( yet the more immediate cause of the problem) hiding by projection without onto another object, that object then taking the blame. Somehow, were we not shown this in Machiavellian thought?

I can see all those smoky snakey shadows that move like a mirage through space and time, hearable through the measure as the words, where I lose my patience and start to feel loopy. I become a judgement of a judgement.  I begin to get caught up in the storm of separation.

My response to this, over all, is that what is real, as the physical is really free, it is right here in front of me. It is creation information. It is of a stable measure, even if it is cluttered with the resonance of separation as the self interest of men, of myself as I react to limitations around me that are a lack of real self responsibility.

In some way, I could look at this as having to move through a value system that is in self interest, a rest in a measure that is believed to be freely chosen, when it is a choice to use measure to hide from practice into an inflation of one aspect. At, times, during quartet rehearsals, I had to direct back into playing, because avoidance often took time through endless quibble about one aspect of the music being performed. 

It took time for me to admit that I did this too sometimes. In the end it is how I learned to see the measure around me, because I had done the same, thus I could not blame, because it might potentially reveal that I was, or had done, the same. lol This creates a silent smokey snakey storm within me, one that I hide through distraction without, or silence myself to remain in the background, praying that no one sees, my prayers like the wizard of oz curtain that I stand behind turning knobs to make my physical body appear to be calm. And meanwhile, I am no longer in the practice of living, respecting the actual physical world. I have become what I despise in others.

Last week I worked with two children. Both were initially reluctant. Then they began to open up. Until we went into reading. Then time and space changed, everything slowed way down and information started to move very very slowly. I wanted to reach out my hand and cut through the mirage. I realize I am this a lot of the time too. The best way to describe this, at this moment, is varying degrees of pressure.

And then, as the information begins to flow, the child opens up, becomes more at ease. More openly shares themselves as though the joy of living has somehow come back. The passage is reread. What I notice here is a sense that the words suddenly are filled with a clarity that has the child sensing that they read slower than they initially read, when what has happened is that space of clarity has brought an abundance of life back into their awareness and they are reading with less stutter and more fluid speed. It is like opening up a portal to life within them.

Thus, when I begin to feel that I am becoming loopy, I have to stop, and realize that I can change into the loop - so to speak- and become it for a moment, sort it out, and take that which is desired, ultimately by all, as becoming a portal to life, and take too elongated inflated values and place them into a practical measure that directs in ways that consider all things and grounds oneself here, to see the real measure of reality as the physical and an understanding that we are creators, be it to create a smokey snake valley of smoke and mirrors, or to participate in real abundance as the real physical world that is freely given as life information in expression right here in front of us, as us, and surrounding us in every way, always, here. 

Know your caged mind, and that from which it is composed, to open yourself as life to equality and oneness with and as life as the physical.