Day 691 What is seven generations? Does the value judgement hide the means?

Coming out from under the lack of responsibility to what is here.

I have these memories that appear so vague. 

I would not say they are a back chat of words, they are in themselves a form that has no word.

A recent one is a movement of myself feeling like there is this pressure coming down on me and it is like I want to get out from under it, yet no matter how hard I try, it remains.

It is relentless and I dread the coming of it. I want to hide from it.

I do not know how to get out from under it.

It is like climbing up a long stairwell. Yet, I resist accepting it.

I fight as resistance to it.

I get really really quiet to avoid it, to have some resemblance of myself within the coming of it- so to speak. All I have is a memory of a movement.

All I have is a sense of ‘ getting out from under “ and  this thing to get out from under of being a ‘stairwell to climb into’.

I was with a child the other day. They had a lot of coping behaviors. They sat down to focus and then very quickly became overwhelmed. I decided to model for them.  While I modeled, they became suddenly very silent, very very still. A deep quiet. A deep stillness. They watched me for a moment.  There were no reactions from them, no personal behaviors that existed in the previous moment. Just a sudden sitting up straight and with a great stillness, watching what I was doing.

In these moments it is like there is someone real there. I am suddenly aware that there is a person there, a sentient being, an awareness that defies the ideas I have in relation to superficial protections and defenses whose gossip I might accept if I did not pay attention and look.

We say that many of our children can remember who the latest movie star married yet they have no understanding of history.  As the ends reveal the means, this shows that our children are by design very absorbent. They can take in information, especially if it is something within their environment. They can remember what appears real, what they can relate to. Since we impulse a good in telling every little girl that she is a princess, she then relates that to reproductive relationships, and defines herself as that. Of course, this relationship in reality is going to be a ‘ guiding measure’ and the stories around them of this, about this, as this is what is ubiquitous in the media, is going to be how the tree grows! That information is the proverbial ‘ fertile ground’ and it is real, it is here.

The history of the past is no longer here, thus it is a story that has no real relationship to connect with what is actually alive and moving here.

Should the history we are taught have a real relationship to what is real here? Would this give an understanding of how here, where we are living, works?  I mean, does not the bible say that the sins of the fathers remains for seven generations? The ends reveal the means, thus, when we take a statement such as seven generations of information is passed on, and we polarize that concept into a bad, we create an entity about this, and get caught up in the consequence in a fear of it, when it reveals something in a mathematical way right in front of us. It means that we are like seeds and retain a resonance , that is a measure, a movement of information that is passed on. Perhaps it is what has yet to be cleared up as information that has not sorted itself out in aligning itself into a relationship that moves in tune with that which our children can remember. They remember it because it is relatable to what is within this actual living world.

We can call our children stupid if they do not know who was president 100 years ago, yet obviously they can retain vast amounts of information. It is not the ability to retain information that is the problem,  it is the information they are asked to remember - to memorize. The information has no practical correlation to this actual world around them. 

This also begs the question as to what information we are placing in front of/on-top-of them. It is as though we are asking them to live in two different worlds, one of ideas and one they see right in front of them, that is different from the one they are asked to accept. And we wonder why they are presently losing any development in fine motor skill development. It is because there is the absence of this development. The child can absorb , it is what they are absorbing. How in any way can we blame the child when the child is doing what is natural to them? They absorb what is placed before them. And they sense when that information is not a real relationship to the actual physical world around them.  Then, they naturally become behaviors of resistance! 

Thus, somehow, my memory that has no name,  to ‘ get out from under’ and ‘ climb the staircase’ fit into this scenario. It is a memory of resisting something that made no sense, and yet there was no way out, or so I believed. And as there are no words but a parabola, in my descriptions  I did not have the means to express what was happening to me YET.

The means of this,  is the means to sort this all out. I can stand and see the sea of information-stairway and remain firmly rooted on the ground, with what is alive and here, and clean up, or align seven generations of a separation from real living into what is best for all, which is what is best for what is here, as the physical.

What does this mean? This means, turning and facing the storm of and as this sea of information, to begin the process of ordering that back into defining itself into a relationship with the physical, with life, with what is living and here. The same means of  resistance is the means of defining things into what is living, to what is in sync with what is real, which is the physical. I can become quiet and listen, and assess and investigate, I can as that inherent nature as what I am,  stand in awareness as a starting point of stillness, absorb a form and relate it to what is alive and here, right in front of me, to remove seven generations of miss-takes on reality where there is no time for blame, and become the actual doing that is the magic of creation in expression as the physical.  I can ‘ get under’ the measure, the form, the mendacious gossip, and remove this so-called stairway to heaven, a sea of generated information and redefine it into what is practical living, because this is where I am, and this is what is real, right here in front of me. All the king’s men and all the king’s horses cannot do this, and anyway, I am the means as the gift of life as who and what I am. 

Day 690 Changing my own self absorption.

There is a tension in my right arm, this is information, and it is heavy as the information that is me is limited, it does not fit into the physical world, move with here, with ease. I have accepted and allowed ideas, beliefs and opinions to define what is real. I have used my presence to built a construct within, as a memory, as an entity of mis-information to define who and what I am. I have accepted and allowed this to direct me. When I become aggressive, as in pushing and forcing information onto here, as my own measure/experience/culture/background/7 generations/ value judgements I mis-take my ability to be aware of my own constructions within ONLY paying attention to that inner information. I am so involved in my own survival suit/character/personality/self definitions that that which reads that inner information lacks being present in reality as myself and as the physical world.

This inner information moves in a stagnant manner, heavy and resistant to change. It moves more as substantiation of itself than being in consideration of what is real, as the surrounding physical world. The solution is to align that within to the without, through rebuilding that within to equalize to the without as the physical world.

Thus, when I tense up, it is a resistance to change. It is me wanting to force my own insight onto the world around me. This is not necessarily bad, it can be a cool moment of reflection, to assess and investigate what I believe, and build through cross reference that information with the reality around me, meaning to look at all things, for example.  

My ability to sense, can understand the parts and look at the physical world, and continue awareness of the within and the without. I mean, we can go outside and look at the trees, and see, very clearly when they are in abundance or lack through the expression of their foliage. It is right in front of us, and we know the building blocks. 

After all, we know how to take care of a race horse, we know its limits, and we know the needs of that physical body. It is astounding that one practice reveals the means and yet we are so self involved that we lack translating that means into another similar situation.  

And yet, that lack reflects the self absorption  focused within narrow parameters of belief  ' within '  ONLY. The key here is self absorption, which reveals that we absorb, we become what we focus on, and that we can absorb, and that that is our ability to assess and investigate and BUILD within and without. So simple, so evident, so right in front of us. 

The chaos is the separation into believing the information that was not present at birth, or not yet the seven generations of information resounding within, that occupies that ability to absorb into becoming self absorbed. The ability to absorb, is indebted/enslaved to limited information, ubiquitous as what humans have accepted and allowed for eons. The physical the means to ground us back into what is real.

Thus, because I am a product of this system, in every breath, in every moment, it is for me to humble myself, to hear the hum of the physical, to see that which is constant, and to stand with and as that. The real ‘ hum’ is to ground myself into silence, that can here the information of the physical world.  I mean, this would be to hear the grass grow. This is something I cannot even fathom, as I am a product of the present system, and yet, who and what I am as life, can become this with practice. Within this, I can real-eyes that everything that is here, is me, in another form, in another life information, and that I cannot stand without what is here. I am like a cell, a part, and yet, one. This shares the one and the many. This quantifies , much like the fungal network that sustains whole forests of trees. It is an information network in support of the parts and the whole, each part individual and yet one.  Our present military industrial complex is a war in rejection of this, and yet, cannot exist without this. This respect for all things, is how life exists. It is like a self sustaining fabric that by design is oneness and equality. It is the principle of the golden rule, to give as one would receive. It is the mathematical equation of self forgiveness. It is the sound of equality. It is the only choice. It is what I am as what and who I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist looking here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist expressing myself here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in every breath in every moment I can ground myself here, and self forgive to investigating and assessing the measure within and without, as my past accepted and allowed belief constructs that lacked a consideration of all things, and become the practice of equalizing my presence here, to respect within and without the real symbols as the physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as polarized energetic entities within and as myself, self absorbed within limited constructions of opinions and ideas about reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use my greatest strength to and towards self absorption, instead of considering all things, taking that which is good and does no harm, to realize my symbiotic potential as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I tense up within and as me, I am resisting here, becoming self absorbed, wanting to force my polarized value judgements onto reality, instead of humbling myself here, respecting all things, giving as I would receive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not live my innate self responsibility as who and what I am, as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist values, to not see in every moment, in every breath, the values expressed without resistance and to them give as I would receive, to walk the practical, as what does no harm, and what brings limitation into equality and oneness with the physical infrastructure here, as the basic needs of what it means to live in abundance on a physical planet.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how self absorbed I have accepted and allowed myself to be, in protection and self defense, mirroring the present system without.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the inferiority of my own self absorption in relation to the life that is the means of me, here as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand around all the desires as beliefs and opinions and ideas as what I have allowed to be a self absorption is my own construct accepted and allowed that is my separation from myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am the source of my own fear.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that I am the source of my own isolation from life, through my own accepted and allowed self absorption in self interest, resisting cross reference with the nature of the physical world, which is self forgiveness, a practice of respect for the physical world, as assessment and investigation of the physical world around me, in every breath, here. to become in practice, in thought word and deed what does no harm, and considers all things.

When and as I find myself resisting here, as in lacking a respect for all forms, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I assess what is here, to see, realize and understand what is here as the physical.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as me, I stop and I breath, and I self forgive beliefs, opinions and ideas, realizing my own survival behavior as fear of loss about information, about possible ‘ what if’ situations as imaginations as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become absorbed with as information within and as me, and I quantify the information within and humble myself to the information without, to assess and investigate, until I see, realize and understand a consideration of all things, to live self forgiveness in every moment.

Day 689 Looking at the word " Star"

Within defining the word star, looking at the math of the emotions and feelings that are an aggrandizement of a value, I realize, based on my own childhood, how much I can inflate something, creating an entity that I fear seeing beyond or hide behind, creating an inflated value of a good and a bad.  I am not seeing the practical math of form in physical existence. I am renting a value, that becomes a weakness that I practice  in protection and defense, an entity that must be grounded in practical reality.  After all does not a seed begin with a single movement? And do we not learn something through starting with a single movement?

What do I mean by all this?

As a child, I remember not wanting to look at my parents. As that child I have memories of always looking up, looking up towards a big person, a person I did not want to see. I would look with fear, I would resist looking.

Later, as I grew and was a little bigger, I remember turning to look and see, I remember the word “ I care” within myself. And so I became a person who cares, as though this enabled me to look. yet I looked with a energetic polarity, meaning, I looked to take care of the person. As though I could see the division from something and the behaviors in front of that blocking the person. I could see the behaviors as projections, a maze to work through. Unfortunately, I got lost in the game, and began a persona of using information to make me more, when the limitations were screamed at me, like a protection and defense I had not the means to move through yet, I could not do the math to move through this. I could not communicate the words, the measures, the math.  I created my own limitations in protection and defense.

 I remember reading the “ TIN DRUM” when I was twelve, not having any understanding of the context of war. What fascinated me was a child screaming without end. I remember carrying this book around with me, totally engrossed in reading the descriptions of the child screaming. I carried it in cars with me, where parent’s friends were amazed that I, a twelve year old was reading this book.

Obviously, I was searching for something. Perhaps I hoped at the time that somehow the scream would reach through something, would cut through what I had not defined, and remained from my past, as a memory of some entity larger than myself, in front of me, that I could not name.

Sound and words and math. It is all the same, words are measure, they are sound, they are an ordered breath. A scream is a unstructured sound, one of pure frustration and fear. It is not being able to accept what is here, and yet not having the structural means to find a way out of the smoke and mirrors show that is a kind of  hued man in separation from being grounded in the real measure of physical reality.

Now, comes the definition of the word ‘ star’ and I realize that just as I reacted to my parents as something scary, as something larger than myself, so are the ‘ stars’ of the media presented through a ubiquitous presence on a screen, in lights, and larger than life, on movie screens, always bigger than a real human. One focused on a picture in a box, where the lack of peripheral view created a space where that person became larger than physical reality, a context out of whack with real living.

Visual imagery composed of lights, like a ghost. This ghost on reality through the mechanism of lights in boxes and screens, that narrowed the focus and imprinted values, creating neurological pathways that held stories  ( storied/structured/layered intel) completely out of measure with practical reality.

If I return myself to the ground, and I were in a crowd of say 10,000 people, and someone stood on a soap box without the artistry of lights and micro phones to make-larger-than-life a person, how many people could actually be reached?  How could one really be a ‘ star’ in the modern sense?  If one looked around one, the real fabric would be others, the same as myself. Hence the whole idea of a person being a star, a larger than life entity, is an illusion of artifice.

Even in the story telling of pre-tech times, the values of developed people were made larger than life through story, repeated again and again. Entertainment that divided one from being practical and from remembering how things are built through practice and development, through walking the measure yet using the same means! I mean,  telling a story is walking a measure, it is in the end all the same. It is a math, one that the one’s-who-play-god use to control. A control that is a math that we accept and allow unless we begin to use that natural ability to accept one order of a math, and start using that ability to assess and investigate everything that is placed before us; the media, what information is sent through our schools, the values absorbed from our parents, the traditions followed that began from a practice developed over time in a more agricultural time. We have forgotten the math that built what and who we are, we have forgotten to see the math that is here, within each, and without as the measure of all things, to see what does no harm and what takes that which is good.

This is why, all research makes it clear that the more we read, the more we begin to see the patterns and realize that math, and begin to process what is the false math, done through limitation, a lie-by-omission, a not-the-whole-story, memorized- me memorialized!. When we move into the world and we run into mis-takes, we want to move into blame instead of correcting ourselves.  Blame is actually harder to be, than sorting things out. The ghost in the machine appears to be real. 

And so, our greatest strength becomes our greatest weakness. We become an imperfect measure, and we blame anything that does not fit into that measure. We are separated from the real richness of life as the physical. Yet, this ability to assess, to sense space and time, the fabric of the physical and the unequal measure sounded is the real capacity of what informs our greatest weakness.

We have as each accepted a math that in inferior to life. We are here, to make the choice to accept life or dissipate as easily as that projected light image. That image is believed to be more than life. It is called a personality. It is when you say something like “ I am more than her”or when you believe that your friend is less than you. It is when you believe that you must compete with your neighbor. It is when you look down on another human being, or animal, or politician. It is when you pay those taxes that are you paying homage to a false god, because you have allowed a system where someone that moves digits and numbers around on paper is more than a farmer. It is when you do not investigate the real math. It is when you do not realize that vaccines have never worked, from the beginning. It is when you don’t realize that our schools by design are not meant to teach you to be your real potential. It is when a parent places a child in front of a television, having forgotten who they are, because the seeds of information as taken in by the physical by the previous generation, seed the form of the tree that is to come. Each subsequent generation assaulted without and within by information that is by nature meant to distract you from who you really are. Yet, it is accepted and allowed, absorbed within and without.  A seed that cannot be thrown away, as there is a baby within that body of water/information. It can only be transformed back into focusing on what is real, the physical, seeing directly the separation and what is real. Our children are our greatest assets and yet they are the poorest amongst us!

A real star is a body in equilibrium with life. A  real star is cognizant of the math of life, of the very fabric ‘s composition. It is built of cells, joining together. A star is built of hydrogen and helium. These are cells, joined together. This is the real math,  not a grid line.  After all, hydro is water, and ‘ gen’ is information. Hence stars are the same as us, water in formation.  After all we are 70% water. We are coupled with oxygen as how the cells exist on earth. So ask yourself what you are resonating today, is it that which considers all things, taking that which is good and does no harm?  Are you in respect of the physical?

In order for me to really see the stars that are a part of the fabric of this world that is an information of cells and atoms, that is also me, as the same stuff, I must use my greatest strength to focus on the richness of this life that is physical in expression, as this is what is real.

What is automaticity and what is a thought?

In the education system there is something called automaticity. This is when some information, some measure about something has been ‘ owned.’ Meaning that one knows it so well, they have integrated that information.  

When a musician practices something, again and again, understanding a movement, a measure, a unit of space, that musician is automating a piece of measure, a piece of how a space is and the things used to express within space. That is practiced until it is automated, where one can ‘ zip’ file through the information so fast, they are no longer thinking about it. This can become automated, or rather , this is automation.Which means overall, we automate the information we practice.

This goes both ways, we automate what we think about. 

One thing I learned within this, within being a violinist, is that the information can be automated and if I no longer cross reference that information to check it, I lose touch with it and the information takes over. I had to learn to stand within the form, within the information as a structural guide, or the information took over and when facing something new, some new form, I would become ‘ upset’ because I was not present and using that which absorbed the information to use the information as a structure to ground me, while at the same time remaining aware. Automation is cool, because it reveals how we work, yet can be used to become a set body of information, that one has forgotten is just this, something practiced until it was understood, or accepted, and then becomes an  inner structure ABOUT reality, and something to allow processing reality, yet is never reality.

In other words, we become the measure we accept and allow. A recent example of this is a talk I had about Hillary Clinton. A woman said that she ‘ feels’ that Hilary as a woman would make a good president. Hence what is a feeling if we understand how we come to be automated with information? I ask myself, “ did that woman grow up in a feminist household” Was the ‘ information’ as the measure practiced again and again about the need for woman to be considered equal”  Did this information accumulate and become automated, and forgotten as to how this was built, to the point where the person ‘ intuits’ as a “ feeling” that we need a woman president despite any and all practical measures as to what Hillary supports or does not support in fact in reality?

Does this mean that a ‘ feeling’ is based on a set body of automated information, which is what beliefs, opinions and ideas really are?  And does this not show how the immense sensitivity of the human body, that absorbent ability that is the means of sensing space and quality and measure, and so able to take in that information, be an accumulation within as a personification of information ONLY, information running on automatic- and that information running on automatic no longer remembered to be just that, as it is so huge within us- in tandem with a lack of remembering to assess reality, or cross referencing reality, in every moment -that we become divided among ourselves, when we are the very fabric that is creation? Would this not create a waring society of personalities? Would this manifest as racism, classism, nationalism, culturalism etc. ? Do we forget then to take that which is good and does no harm, when this is what we would all want for ourselves? 

And would this reveal the real generator of the present system that controls and orders in a monopolistic way to place the separation of each of us into some form of non-destruction because this ‘ feeling’ that is information in automation has forgotten where and how the information was built? And would the so-called elite fear this body of automation that is in separation from reality and try to order it and control that lack of self understanding , and self control and self responsibility in practical cross reference of reality in every breath?

Yes.

We must forgive ourselves the trespass of a mind consciousness of information that is in separation from reality, a practice that has become automated. We are, all of us, basically moving as automated information that has forgotten reality, forgotten to cross reference reality, as the physical world.  We can begin by asking ourselves “ What is a feeling?”  “What is an emotion?”

“ What is the automated information that is me?” “ What am I generating?” What am I placing within me as the information that is me, and am I passing this information down to the next generation?” “ What is a thought?”  What is that information doing to my children?” “ Are they having to sort out what I did not sort out?” “ What legends of information am I leaving for the life that is here on this earth?”

If we want to realize out natural ability to absorb and understand, as this is what and who we are as the very gift of presence as life within us, we can begin by realizing what information we have accepted and allowed to define who and what we are and ask ourselves where that information came from, and what it is generating. We have to begin by asking ourselves where we have ignored reality in how we have automated information that we express, believing that information within -which is never the real information, as the physical - to be what defines who and what we are. A personality that could be disorder from what is real as physical states of being, on a physical world from which we absorbed knowledge and information. It is time to become practical, to cross reference reality, to assess what is real, as the world around us, and the information that is not equal and one to respecting the physical in every moment , in every breath.

I would begin by asking yourself, “ What is a thought?”

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Day 687 What rings into eternity? Equality and oneness. It is a physical life.

I have noticed in talking with people, that there are these moments when a thin film comes towards me, like a wisp. And then I noticed when I do this myself, as this is like a separation from being grounded here in this physical world, a much more stable state of being. This stability a point of being in tune, and what is in tune can withstand, it is like it rings into eternity.

I also notice how much I constrict within myself physically, how the muscles constrict. It is like I scrunch myself within myself and tense up and force something out of me. 

Looking over a mind construct I wrote out with all the back chat of beliefs, ideas and opinions I have accepted and allowed, I realize how much I react in blame, projecting ideas about things outward , like a ghost in the machine. Lol, it is like I am running a picture show about reality in separation from myself as a physical being on a physical planet. 

This has not happened a lot, yet it has happened enough where I say to myself: what was that! 

In relation to myself, I realize how much I am doing this. And the reflection I see from having written out the dialogue within composed of polarized values of right and wrong, a morality in relation to survival instead of respect for all life, where the physical is included, and then realized as being what is real. 

Most of the back chat is blame, for me, a form of protection and defense from doom and gloom scenarios, as potential losses in the order of survival. I mean, I can be sitting and suddenly I notice that I am imagining the worst case scenario. I have to stop, breath, slow down, and realize that this is not myself being present here, realizing the math of the physical, the real form of the physical. I realize that I accepted and allowed the seeding of my own demise. Only I can sort this out. And, what is really cool is that this can be sorted out, walked through and realized for the separation that it is, taken apart, forgiven and reformed, corrected into a script that grounds me into who and what I really am, a physical design on a physical world. I am here.

At this point, as a perspective from this moment, what I realize the most is how much I fear being practical. This means looking here, slowing way down and looking here, gathering information in respect of the practice of physical beingness.  This tends to create less fear of speaking up, as what respects the physical and calls what is here by name,  when voiced without fear, without expectations of resistance or reaction, can stand.  It is using our greatest strength to focus on the very fabric of the physical as being the starting point of reality, which is an ability to assess and investigate that which is sound as that which is best for all.

In all, I have been so occupied within protection and defense based on a fear of really looking and speaking up about what is here, through my own allowances, that I have forgotten to use my greatest strength to remain present in the richness of life, that is the physical world around me that is me, here. 

I have forgotten to feel, to live, to be an expression of life, to be present, to breath, to accept and be thankful for the richness of this physical fabric that is the means of life in expression, in formation.

It is at this point that I enter a sense of great sadness about the loss of someone close to me. I enter a ‘ what if” situation in and as realizing that were I in equilibrium with myself as life, could I have changed the outcome. Perhaps, yet this moment is not here, so I cannot say. And even this must be forgiven, as the solution is to stand and take back the life that is me, to enjoy being life, which is physical in form. 

Also, this event was within my immediate environment. Meaning, this is only in relation to myself, as there are so many who suffered a similar fate with whom I had no relationship, and yet suffered based on the choices that I made without consideration for all things. Hence, to make the situation I was in bigger than situations distant from me, yet  influenced by the choices I accepted and allowed in the products I chose, for example, or the lack of question about the economic constructs allowed on this earth that do not pay for the labor of others and cause suffering through extreme lack of access to physical support. Hence, the emotion of shame and guilt that I allow, though having some valid aspects is really in self interest. 

It stems from a fear of being forced away from something, as the best way to describe it here. Like being, or choosing a non-feeling state of being. And by feeling I mean, no longer being within the richness that is real life. What is rich is what is equal and one in measure, in a relationship to reality, which is physical, so visible and right here. That means that a feral child uses to smell like a wolf, or that means that a child uses when growing up in a household where music is constant. It is that this absorbent ability is diverted to a lesser form, one that is in separation from respect for what we are as a starting point , which is physical reality.

I realize that I accepted and allowed so many personal dis-orders, called personality disorders, built of beliefs and ideas, and opinions in a morality of survival before life. This life being the real morality. The physical being the real story. The hierarchy system that men have accepted and allowed for eons, the separation and the cause of conflict with life that is the current consequence of disease and discord on earth at present.

I notice that the moment i move into any kind of blame, I create a whispy entity within and as me, one of bitterness that is not myself being solution, as the only way to and towards life is to become the solution in every breath, to be present here, standing within and as what is best for all, as what respects the physical world, choosing what does no harm to any living thing here. This means to give as I would receive, to make the choice to speak up about what has been accepted and allowed, as what ignores the practical, and as what is the means to equality.  

This means to stand in equilibrium with the physical, to become a body in equilibrium with life, which is physical and always right here in front of me. No one can take that away, but myself. The rest, is illusion, that unfortunately is causing consequences on earth that no one would want for themselves.

Day 686 Revisiting Blame. Realizing the practice of self forgiveness and self correction.

When I go into anger I go into fear. My reflection is then based on limitation, as I am fearing survival more than being present here, equal and one to the math of existence, a physical existence.

I mean, why does television effective? Why is the measure of it so ubiquitous? Why have a measure constantly broadcast, and all the advertising images, incessantly? Why is a form, as a picture, covering the physical environment in which we life? Why is a child born without religion, nationality, class, gender awareness, skin color awareness? The simplicity of this math, is evident all around us. What blinds us, is evident all around us. What separates us from practical movement in our lives, is all around us. The simplicity of this is astounding, the complexity the consequence of the superimposition of a measure/story that is  extremely limited.

Can we not understand that a fiat currency is our labor? Can we not see that the value from the labor is siphoned off and flowing into a central entity that projects the limitations in contradiction of life: an example the supposed ‘ superman’ story? All the while the fiat currency flows the value being life as in doing, that is done with a collective effort as how things are built, from freely given resources into a centralized regime that touts what suppresses the life within. Are we not all this in measure when we ignore the world around is as we are caught in an imaginary elephant-in-the-room that is the valley of shadows as our minds of thoughts?  So, that centralized regime, feeds of the whole, and touts a god, as a superman- the opposite of life. It is laughable when the reality of the indoctrination is the opposite of practical living. And meanwhile, it has been said again and again and again, that the veil is thin. And it has been said again and again and again that one must stop the ‘ spin ‘ of the memory/mind. And it has been said again and again and again, that we are in a cave watching shadows on a wall.  This slight of hand, this legerdemain is right in front of us, and what is real is under that illusion, that valley of smoke and mirrors .  What is real is right under that constant chatter, it is the physical. 

Why are children placed in a box for 13 years? Why is an absorbent beingness placed in a confined place to create an abstract image of information? What is that information? Is that information the real story? Would this not serve to suppress through a lie-by-omission story? Would this be called a limitation?  And if one practices through repetition being up there in the imagination for 13 years, not to mention the television as entertainment and baby sitting for parents that are a product of the same system, place presence into a very limited structure as that measure/information contained in that centralized regime information measure that serves to move that value as the labor of many, being what builds and creates as how things are done on this earth, into the hands of a few to decide what we eat, what we think, what we use, to control the frustrations from suppressing the full potential of what and who we are a physical beings?

Yet, it is done because we accept it, we allow it. We in this acceptance abdicated ourselves as life. When in reality, no one, and no thing can really decide who and what you are. That which follows is that which can assess and investigate and understand and then make choices that consider all things. Remember, if it is only working for a few, then it is not working. We have allowed a quantum construction of ideas, beliefs and opinions, to direct us, and the consequence is a frustrated life that is not in full expression. A lack of full expression is a suppression, a stress, because it is only through one’s real expression, as full employment of the inherent capacity of what one is as a physical being, does one find ease. The first step is to admit, that one has abdicated one’s self as life. And then, to begin to decode the limitation, forgive it, and ground one’s self back into considering all things, taking that which is good and does no harm. This is to ensure that such a choice never happens again, because we learn through mis-takes. 

Hence, when I blame in any way, I perpetuate the limitation. Every movement within and as me, and every movement around me, if not related to a respect for life as a starting point, as an action of considering the physical, is an act of separation from life. I will in effect, never fit through the eye of the needle, that object that is used to join things together, to create. 

I am in effect, not slowing down when I move into blame. Blame is protection and self defense, in self interest, as that measure of separation of and as mind consciousness that lacks a focus on reality as the physical. To move as a directive principle in respect of the physical, I can address the limitations, being in expression as who and what I am, within realizing the means of a mind consciousness. The information that is a measure unequal to practical reality, is composed of judgement about things as measures of information. It is judgements about self, about others in relation to self, about information. So much of our in-formation an abstract about reality, as the physical. It is like a spinning thing, this entity of separation as imagination that is the mind that so many have said to stop. If one slows down, one can hear the back chat of this mind. 

Thus, why fear this paranormal entity that has no real connection to life, as the physical? The values touted as it, are short lived, meaning they have no longevity, which is why the media is a constant all around us.

Thus, when and as I move into blame, I must slow down, and realize that I have not listened to the information that is here enough to remain stable and consistent within and as directing in respect of what is real, which is the physical. My reaction is a fear of loss, based on survival. The solution is to realize that I need to hear that ‘ song/story’ again, to understand that math, the measure, the form, and then to assess and investigate, until I can un-tie the knot, the mis-take and ground the form/information back into what is a practical action with a stable relationship done in referencing the physical in all ways, always. In this, my starting point wills the ending point.

Last night I was playing with this, and I revisited a moment where I went into competition. I noticed that my thighs became inflamed . It is like needles of crystals climbing into the flesh, It hurts. I have to slow way down and realize the measure I am accepting and forgive it, transform it into what no longer moves, as being information, as belief, opinion of idea, as polarized value judgments, to realize what gives as I would receive .  I am already what it is that is life. That which follows this in-formation of value judgements that is the means of limitation, is that which can slow down and respect the physical. The physical being what is real.

I must realize my expectations, in self interest, in fear of survival as this is what I have accepted and allowed as a practice. All those ideas and desires, like wanting to have children, or wanting to move up in a career. Like wanting to be in a relationship, when the real relationship is here, as being physical, where there are many expressions, not only the limited touted as a value again and again. This the greed to create a life, within a narrow focus. Where one blames everything around one as not being effective. This act in itself a separation from moving into a solution that leaves no one behind.  This act usurious, rent seeking, believing that one knows. When the only solution is to be here, focused in every breath, in every move, realizing the nature of separation as the quantum measure, and the real significance, as the physical world. Within this can I ground myself here, remembering myself to the physical, where I could use the gift of myself , like that feral child, and sense that rabbit 20 meters away? Can I become the master of myself, which is to equalize to the physical world, as this is life information? If not me then who?

Remember the projections of Humpty Dumpty, are sourced from the physical. The stings of the limited information are visible, I need only slow down and stop competing. After all, what is real about who and what I am is physical. 

I can crystalize the water that is me into a fixed measure, or I can  master the flow of myself, as life, and remain constant and consistent with the physical as this is what is real. In effect, knowing myself as what I have accepted and allowed, and realizing where and when I constrict allowing myself to be defined by value judgements in survival, or I can realize the richness of myself as life, here. Within the nature of the richness of myself as life, is an ability to assess, to investigate, to slow down and hear the grass growing, to see the flicker of value judgements as personalities that can only scream the information accepted and allowed that has been allowed to define into a persona that is a separation from equality and oneness to and as life here, as the physical. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be a reaction of blame.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move as a measure of spite and blame, about information instead of slowing down, assessing and investigating the form of what is here, as a mind consciousness, as values that become like an elephant-in-the-room that is an abstract about reality, and thus, a separation from  a compassion that is a starting point of what is best for all, realizing I am life and life in expression is physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move , to direct myself as beliefs, opinions and ideas, as information that I have accepted and allowed to define me causing a separation from seeing, realizing and understanding the value being life, which is physical and always in all ways, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to consequence within and as blaming the consequence and the fault of consequence instead of slowing down and breathing, grounding myself here, being as a starting point in respect of the physical in form and function, to see, realize and understand what is best for all, so that the ending point is the same as the starting point, this being equality and oneness, as the principle of give as I would receive, to realize in small movements, as how things are built, the expression of life as creation information.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand in every moment my acceptances and allowances in self interest, such as value judgements about information, be it personality, or abstracts as words about reality, as information touted and what I have accepted within where I am within a society that is in separation from being equal and one in respect of the physical world being the manifestation of life information.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame the story placed before me, as the information accepted and allowed, and to resist facing this information, that is often a - metaphysical- elephant-in-the-rrom entity, that has only the power I accept and allow it to have.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my greatest strength is my ability to assess and understand as I am by nature that child that can learn to smell like a wolf, so great is the gift of life, able to assess and investigate form and function, which takes practice and time, hence in every moment, I make the decision  to in all ways, always, move from a starting point of what is best for all, as what takes that which is good and does no harm, to move a starting point of equality and oneness into an ending point, and within this to practice until the starting point of equality becomes the ending point here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that blame is  a form of protection and self defense, and therefor a reaction to consequences of a starting point in self interest, where the answer is within the formula, thus, to slow way down, assess and direct within and as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that blame is being lame, as in not taking the time to assess my own acceptances and allowances, and the information that lacks consideration of all things, thus, within and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess what is here, to see and realize with real eyes, what directs within grounding into a practical action that does no harm and gives what can remain constant and consistent.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge what is here, within and as the information I accepted and allowed as the programming of my experience within the society in which I was born as the values believed to be more than other values, to within and as me, slow way down and realize the value being life, and to consider all things, taking that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into self pity, for my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a self pity in relation to believing that no one understands me, as my value system, as a personality, and within this to see, realize and understand this measure of information and to within every moment remaining within breathing to slow down and ground myself here, becoming in thought word and deed that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that limitation is a threat, and to within this, slow way down, assess and ground myself here in the practical, to see, realize and understand a starting point of what is best for all, so that the ending point in every thought word and deed within and as who and what I am stands within the principle of what is best for all, as this is best for myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become intimidated by information.

When and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down.

When and as I find myself becoming blame, I stop, and I breath, and I asses what I am spiting as information, and I ground myself within my breath, to assess, to understand, to then move into solution as what is best for all, as what considers all things, to realize a starting point within my actions as the words I speak to create an ending point of respect for the real creation as the physical world.

When and as I find myself moving into protection and self defense as blame, I stop and I breath and I assess what information I am accepting and allowing within and without, and I assess and I check my physical body to see , realize and understand the richness of the life that is me, here, as all things are me in another life here.

When and as I find myself reacting, within and as my thighs and my chest area, as a constriction, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself way down, until I am gentle and calm, at ease, and stable, and I assess what designs are around me, and the practical nature of the physical, to see, realize and understand a compassion that takes that which is good and does no harm and makes clear the practical steps that lead to a solution.

When and as I find myself believing that the information around me, either in separation from reality, or the information of reality as the physical being too difficult to understand, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, and I realize, and I understand the practical as this is to consider all things as the function of the physical, to ground myself here, and move into solution as the simple movements here in the moment, as this is how life is built, from moment to moment, being present here, respecting the richness of life information as the physical.

When and as I find myself reacting to information, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I transform my within entity of ideas, beliefs and opinions, into what is grounded here, and in respect of the practice of physical living, to become the directive principle in every moment as every starting point to realize an ending point of what is best for all, in thought word and deed.

When and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I catch what I have rejected and resisted, to realize my own generated limitations as beliefs, opinions and ideas, to assess and transform back into respecting the practice of physical living, giving as I would receive, to live in thought word and deed the richness of life, as the physical here.

When and as I find myself moving into anger, I stop and I breath, I slow myself down, and I realize the solution is to consider all things as the physical, to ground myself into the richness of life, as life being the real value, as the practice of respecting the physical.

When and as I find myself wanting to blame, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself way down and I see, realize and understand the habit of ignoring the emotional storm in fear of survival, as a behavior I have accepted and allowed, and I assess the information until I am stable, calm, steady and able to assess in clarity the measure within and without, to move into solutions that solve problems and ground presence into the richness of creation as the practice of respect for the physical, here.

When and as I find myself moving into self pity as a reaction for my own acceptances and allowances, and the shame of my self interest in protection and self defense in ignorance of the practice of respecting what is real as the physical, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that sadness is more of the same, as self pity, and self aggrandizement,  until I am stable within and as my breath, and I assess, and cross reference in relation to my physical body and the information as the measure of the practical physical world around me, and I take that which is good and does no harm, to become the living word of what is practical in step by step movement, to ensure that my presence is rich in awareness of all things, to live in thought, word and deed, what is best for all here.

Day 686 Am I really insignificant? I am here, I am physical. The value is being life.

If I expect others to infer any emotional poles behind my words, are I not expecting others to see the emotional pole within me as something as real as I believe it to be?? ( This is actually insane!)

And if I have to expose that emotional pole, and a solution is given to me, in practice, diminishing  that enlarged ‘ take’/ value/idea I accepted and allowed, would I react and not want to admit that I had created something out of nothing? Would that mean that I had to change? Would I find out that changing an imperfect practice would take longer that if I had learned something correctly in the first place, take time?  Would I realize that I had seeded what was me, and that what I accepted and allowed to be seeded as me would take time to correct and that I was so embarrassed that I would not want to admit this, and yet, this was the only way out, and the gift that was really cool because it meant that I was the means to master who and what I am here in this physical world? Yes.

For myself, what is this swirling mass of emotional values within and as me, that I have colored myself as? Where was that one small movement that was the impetus for this separating-from-who-and-what-I-really-am-emotional-metaphysical -storm?

What was the judgement that I accepted, as a movement within, that created this? What was the generating seed/feed mirrored in behaviors of resistance as a belief? What tread-mill have I stepped onto? Onto what have I allowed the focus of me to become? How have I turned my greatest strength into my greatest weakness?

Given the polarity of weakness and strength, it is a belief that I am not good enough, that there is something  wrong with myself. This is an abdication of what solves the problem, which is to see reality, as the physical and correct in synch with this reality, this practical reality. A mathematical reality revelatory in form and function, as creation would be.

What unsorted mistakes lead to a lack as a limited self definition leading to an ignorance of what was real, as the physical creation around me that is me , here?

As a child, this seeding started. An impossible situation, or appearing to be so, for one so small without any language development, sorting out the construction of language and the ideas generated therein by the surrounding adults which I by nature absorb and allow myself to get caught within to survive as I fear the force of punishment for not aligning to this mis-alignment to life as the physical. This is a motion in separation from considering the practical nature of life as a physical formation. Though I am the cause of accepting and allowing the measure of belief, as in-sighting a record of selective values, that then become the information that is me,  meaning it then being generated from me, I am the only one who can self forgive this and reform who and what I am. I am the one to ground myself back into what is real, as my relationship to the physical, to consider the physical as me, as life information, here. If not me then who? 

I am able to realize where I inflate values, within positive and negative poles of resistance and self aggrandizement, like an elephant in the room that has no real substance, recognizable in a lack of constancy in behavior. My own accepted construction changes myself in a moment, instead of myself using my ability to change, which is my ability to assess, to live equal and one with creation. Living equal and one with creation is realizing the value is life.

This is synching my greatest strength from ignorance to presence as life, here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am insignificant.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am insignificant and that this is fixed within who and what I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become so self involved within a lack as a belief as an idea, as a measure that is a judgement of a good and bad made larger than the practical life around me as the physical,  within and as me that my greatest strength became my greatest weakness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create an inferiority to life as what I allowed to define who and what I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hide my separation from life, through projecting lack onto others, as people and systemic structures, and animals and nature, to justify my own lack that is a resistance to life, to being in common sense of reality, as life information as the physical world here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create a projection entity within and as me as myself being right, and to within this become stuck into reacting to what are reactions instead of grounding myself here into the practice of living and finding solutions in consideration of all things here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I was a worthless human being, based on experiences in childhood, where I believed there was no way out, and joined into the game in protection and defense to survive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry within and as this, as this is a fear of becoming responsible for what I have accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear making mistakes in relation to this, to and towards others within my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am defined by the mistakes of my past, where in all practical common sense, the only solution is to change and reform, as myself as life, which is to take that which is good and does no harm, and to investigate, to do the math, within and as moving from problem to solution, here, in every moment, remaining grounded in breath here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought ‘ Where have I been”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought “ I have wasted the life that is me , here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize  and understand that the only solution is to ground myself here, in consideration of all things, seeing realizing and understanding that what is real, is here, this physical world, and the starting point of who and what I am here.

When and as I find myself sinking into fear, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, until I am steady, calm, steadfast, bringing myself here, into being present in the physical as my feat, as my hands, as my torso, here, as who and what I am.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as my chest area, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand the techno-colored movement, as energy within and as my physical body, to see, realize and understand what I have accepted and allowed to define who and what I am in protection and self defense of my fear, to ground myself here, in the physical, to become in thought word and deed that which is best for all, as equality and oneness to and with life here.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand where I am existing as an inner voice of and as a belief that I am the worst person in the world, based on a past as a child, where I did not get through, or I started to answer in relation to same measure and actions of separation creating a personality in the adults around me, to which I responded, in a belief that this stopped punishment, thereby hating myself for being that which I probably wanted to sort out, and within this to remember that as a child, this would have been very difficult to do, just as my own children probably experienced as well, as I had accepted and allowed a limitation to define who and what I am as a belief in separation from being practical within and as that which does no harm and respects what is real, as the physical world around me, as this is life in creation, here.

When and as I find myself beginning to sink with and as me, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, to see, realize and understand the measure as belief, opinion and idea as an imperfect practice as an idea of lack, and I stop, and I breath, and I ground myself here, and I forgive myself for accepting a fear of survival as I am no longer a child, and I use the greatest gift of myself as life, an ability to absorb and investigate, assess and cross reference, this actual real physical world as life information, and I take the time to listen, to understand, within and without to practice being equal and one to who and what I am as life, to take that which is good and does no harm, to become in thought, word and deed myself as life, here.

When and as I find a weight within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I loosen up within and as my chest area, to forgive a fear of others seeing what I have accepted and allowed as a belief that I am insignificant and worthless, and as what I have defined myself as, to instead become self responsible as life here,  to ground myself in synch with the life that is me, as the physical world.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, until I am stable, open, able to discern through a focused listening, to realize the parts and the whole, to move in perfect practice, realizing mistakes can change,  in equality and oneness in thought word and deed to life, as the physical, here.