Day 333 Hiding behind the Spider web of self interest in profit. A system of inequality

In high school I had to take this test in 10th grade. It was a test given by the state that one had to pass in order to pass out of high school. I, and my peers were told once we passed the test we did not have to take it again. I passed and so did my friends. In 11th grade we had to take this again, I asked why, I did not want to go and sit in a room for three hours again to take a test I had been told I passed. But I went. In 12th grade we were required to take this again. This time I refused, I had decided not to go and I told my friends. They all reacted, I told them that we were being asked to take the test again to “ beef up” the passing scores for the city of New York, and that this was not a good idea because it hid what was really happening. My friends told me that I had to take the test and that I would get in trouble if I did not take the test. I told them that I could not get in trouble because I had taken the test and passed. So the day came and I did not go, and I remember being really shaky about it, I was scared but I was also “ in-sensed” because somehow this was not helping what was going on and hiding what was going on by having everyone who passed retake the test made no sense. And, interestingly, my friends reacted with such fear as well, they just went and did it, but their reactions to me deciding to not go, were extreme, I am seeing my “ best” friend’s face now, here, her eyes got big and she looked scared.
Anyway, in New York, I was at a disco and that spring I had started to take valiums on the weekends, I had stopped playing the violin, just enough to get by. One night, and this is something, a memory, that i refer back to a lot even before desteni, I am sitting in the hood of a car on a New York city street and the bouncer - who we are friends with- comes around with the pills, I stop, I look at him, I look at the pill in his hand, I say no and walk away. I go home and that is the end of this life. I remember thinking, “ this is not life, this is not what i choose” which is interesting because when I found M, the words in my head, the thought that i had, was “ how can this be life?” “ Why is this a choice”
Walking down the street in New York I also remember looking at the backs of people, I have no clear thought here, I just remember walking around looking at the posture and backs of people, this is just something that was always there, like an undercurrent question, like “ something is there” unformed but present.
After leaving the “ social/modeling” scene I spent time alone and I felt awkward being alone. I even went to the movies alone. I think I had the thought that I am alone. I did not know where to go, I just knew I did not want to be in “ that scene”.
I did not talk with my parents about any of this. We had two apartments in New York, my parents had one, and my sisters and I had another. And with my “ new” brother” it was like it was two separate worlds, going to my parents apartment felt like I was invading their space, and my father was emotionally unstable, the slightest thing seemed to “ set him off” so we stayed away, and I think my mother was so engrossed in my brother and work she simply did not have the time to pay attention to my sisters and i. She was there, she would check on us, but she was no longer as watchful as she had been.
So, my “ righteousness” about the system started here, during this period, high school. And the fear when deciding to do something, right or wrong” started here, as this shaky feeling when I decided not to participate in the test score scam. And the rage at this one modeling party where I had accompanied my sister and started to speak out really loudly at the party and made the modeling people angry, and that was the end of that, my sister was told I could no longer accompany her. I can’t even remember what I did, i just remember being in the bathroom feeling really frustrated.
And then this “ being alone” not wanting to go back and not knowing where to go. I eventually found a “ new friend” and we would read plays and wonder around New York. Her family life was a mess. But I won’t go into this here. I did not like going to her loft in soho, because it was a mess, and her mother, who had evidently written for the VillageVoice in it feminist hey day, had lost it, she spent her days wondering around New York buying used clothes and hanging them on garment district racks that were in the apartment. I remember her brother kicking his Hispanic girl friend like she was a “ dog” one day. SO, here basicallyI went from one set of abusive behaviors to another. I think the shock of, “ is this really happening’ numbs me at first and then I realize I have to get myself out of this situation, it is unacceptable.
It is like this with this man I dated. He would stare at women, really looking possessed. Like he was hot “ here”. One time he said to me, don’t mind me I am just being a man.” Iaccepted this, thought I had to be patient, but this was not acceptable, for him and /or for me. I had to leave even thought i did not want to, even though I tried to talk about it with him.
I tried to explain this in different ways, and what happened is that he got mad, and started to be more distant from me. That was the answer. More hiding.
It is like we all see what is going on, but if we try an talk about it there is push back. Even if this is done in calm , with gentleness, there is reaction, as though letting go ofaddictions/ideas is tantamount to death. lol
So, this is what there is to forgive, within and without, as the allowance and acceptance in separation from here into and as a mind imagination, a fantasy, a dream scape, this is what is “backing” man, this is the MCS.
So, our fantasies are hiding our fears. And somehow I make this fantastic, and it need not be, there is the ability of myself to see this in common sense without the ambiguity of unaware space. I jump from the systemic patterns that I have seen, blaming the system without looking at the monetary side of this. Later in my twenties I happened on a book about soils, I thought it was a novel and it was about the earth, here I realized that systems were not doing what was best for the soil, and this lead into something else that started in high school - that I could not eat sugar- this and the book about soils, lead into paying more and more attention to food and health, which lead me to the point where I realized the medical industry was not concerned with health, they were concerned with profits. I had read some conspiracy theories that the governments wanted to decrease the population. And though this might have been true and/or is true, going around saying this to the people in my world was not going to work, it would not be believed.
It was not too long after Kevin Trudeau and another company that was using resonant projections from a machine, modeling homeopathy that I found desteni. This is all another level of what brought me here. The side of the behaviors around me, instead of the “ white light’ inner things going on.
I/we have to go beyond limited understandings in order to realize what is actually happening here. So, ambiguity has to be walked into understanding through forgiveness to what is here as how the physical functions. Within allowing ambiguities to warp us into a cognitive dissonance, making connections that are limited, mapped into mind, and the outcome is a lack of common sense.
The fantasy world of our desires, are our escapes, our escapades into mind, of lesser understanding, limited insight, this has to be brought back here, down to earth. The form of earth is many men on the surface of this earth. It is many men, together who organize this earth, thus a separating/dividing system would voice the idea of a superhero, a “ one” that would come and solve all the problems on earth, because this would create those questioning, the human who is able to realize something is “not right” into a state of waiting. Thus the idea of a super hero, a savior, is to have the human wait for a change coming from one thing despite the common sense of the form on earth of many men working together as how things are done and organized. The being of self as wanting a superhero, a “ one” is self lost in a fantasy as an idea that waiting is okay. Thus “ waiting” is an indoctrination, a by product of the belief system of there being a ‘One” or a super hero. The collective as the human, as man is the “One” that can reorganize this world into all being able to understand the life that we are composed of, which is more than able to self realize because this is what we are! Duh.
Why would Monsanto want what it does to be hidden, using “trade secrets “ and patent “laws” to say that its information is “ private”. It cannot be private if the effects are public! And the fact that this information is being hidden, has the supposed “ need” to be hidden, as non transparent, is saying loud and clear that there is omission, that what is being done within these hidden practices is not what is best for all. If something were non destructive in any way, it would not need to be hidden. Thus the behavior of Monsanto is revealing its awareness of its abuse and the effects it will have on the public.
This, in tandem with the collectively believed idea of a superhero despite the obvious physical fact of how the physical earth world functions, that being many men working together being the means of accomplishment of working with earth, inhibits the collective from standing up within behaviors that are actually telling us that something is not what is best for this earth.
Our governments are no longer working for us. This does not mean that all government workers are “ bad” they are simply afraid to say anything for fear of losing their jobs, and or so caught up in the process of self interest for the few, that they cannot see the forest through the trees. No matter where one is, one can contribute to the change that is needed. One can remain in their job and monetarily give, support a system that puts and end to all this hiding and hero worship, as it has not changed this world, it is the cause of the problem of inequality. What is of value is self as life, here. Let’s create a system that is the manifestation of this, a system that supports all life, that ends hiding and war, that uses the form and function of earth to build a world that is best for all, using what is here that is real, the hands, the many hands of men. Anyway, it would actually be a lot of fun. Much better than all this stress and worry and addictions that are never satisfied. Imagine being able to use your common sense, and be here, helping and giving and no longer needing to hide your SELF here. This is Equal Money, this is realizing the common sense of life, here.

Day 332 The profit corporate, the liability mass.

Today I read about the austerity cuts in the American government and the turnover of public transportation systems to the private corporate structures where pensions are cut and employees disregarded and the unions defunct, even those trained to stand and fight within the system are rendered useless. This non- allowance of communication has bothered me for a long time, as I see this here within relationships and within the system, people just disallow a voice, the public to speak, and our government agencies keep everything private saying it would effect patients and thus the information is private - this a red flag as it is a hiding behind supposed private ownership. Thus, there has become a systemic way to hide in ownership and so, transparency can be touted by governments but then hidden behind private patient ownership. Even the label meanderings of how things are called within the oil industry, bitmen is not yet “ oil” and thus does not fall under the rules of oil, and thus the oil spill in Arkansas can be kept “private” and non-transparent. It seems that so much these days is kept out of the public eye, and the governing representatives of the people, our politicians and government officials support the private protection, and they must to protect their wages, as they now have a tax on medical products so it is in their profit as salary interest to keep products on the self of private corporations despite evidence that such products might not be what they are touted to be.
In the midst of this maze of layered protection, a hierarchy of ignorance in self interest before what is best for life, because profit has been allowed before life, the laws have turned the cost of production and maintenance onto the taxpayer, and the government supports this, as the very same elected officials benefit from this, as the profits from the corporation go into their pockets and the liabilities are carried by the masses, the public.
And now I see that there are the risings of PB across the country, this is known as Participatory Budgeting. But i have to ask myself where this will lead, if the budgets of local towns and cities are being cut? Is this another pretty picture of hope presented in the face of spending cuts? Is this local officials hiding the fact that there is not enough to “do the job” so instead of having to face the angry mobs of their constituents, they decide to avoid an angry mob by allowing others to decide? Is this really and act of desperation?
I also have read that in Iraq there are private soldiers used to fight the war. Is this the future?
So if we have a government that is no longer working for the people, but working for the corporations - the owners and profit holders of the resources of earth, and we have a public body that holds all the liabilities and who can decide where the local monies are spent - what is left after paying for the work of the hands of men to extract and form resources through corporate dictate- are we supposed to feel like we have gained something? I may not understand this yet, but somehow this does not sound like a system that is supporting life, it sounds like another layer of separation into a system that has become more abusive of life, more ignorant of life, more destructive and of greater divides than any of us can fathom, and are totally blind to.
I am thinking of Afghanistan where the guns of the few who own the means to make such things on such a scale, have rendered Kabul a leveled city, while labels such as “ America” are still touted as the reason, but I don;t think the carriers of liability paid for the guns, yet the collective participated within this so, we all are to blame, as we have allowed this profit based system that breeds inequality, the play out of which is becoming more extreme, and Kabul is the scene of this extreme. And here, what money is sent to rebuild is used to pay the administrators, while sexual abuse runs rampant with the children being the victims, it does not seem like there is any opportunity for a participatory budget system here as there is nothing left with which to budget out!
Yet, perhaps there is a way to learn from participation in budget decisions that will teach us what we have accepted and allowed, as the means to begin to see what we have allowed is ever present, it is only to see it and to make a change.

All of this reminds me of the movie Blade Runner, where the corporation controls everything, and the movie Brazil, where a machine makes a typo error and the paper pushers just want their paper work in order so they don’t lose their job and become one of the liabilities of the liability carriers, where every one is hushed in being glad that it was not their turn to fall.
There is time to get out of this, there is a way to stop this, because there are many who can stand and vote and join together realizing the value is life. What must be realized here is that the resources of this earth are given freely and are here to support life, and all that is here is life. Thus to believe, to be caught up within the lie, that what is of this earth can be owned is to support abuse, to support inequality, as this system of profit, that uses the tool on money to sequester power and control, must come to and end. This does not mean that you will lose your home, we all need a place to live and where we are on this earth while we are here is ours to care for, thus changing to a system of equal money, does not mean that suddenly one will no longer “ own” their home, it means that your home is where you live and is the gift of space on this earth for you to experience life. What some might find is that they might even want to move into a smaller home, that what they have was to “ appear successful” and how much of an illusion they had spent within their life, and when this is no longer the case, they will stand back and say, “ why am I taking care of all this? what if I had something smaller and could give my self time for those things I always wanted to do but never had the time to do?”
Allowing a few to benefit from what is freely given because they are warped and cognitively dissonant from life, as in believing owning more and having more material goods, more than they can possible use at one time, makes them more, because of some illusory divine right, has to stop, and what is the value as in being life, here, communicating with what is here as the physical is the real value and what we all enjoy when we are not stressed and worried about money, can become what is on earth, where we have a direct participation within what is developed and why it is developed, and thus we all vote/participate with understanding and awareness knowing we are taking care of this earth and choosing what is best for all because this is also what is best for self.
It is time to stand and support a system of equality, Equal Money Capitalism. And support a Basic Income Grant. TIme to change this world, because the direction it is taking is going to end up on your door step before you know it, and then it will be too late.

Day 331 Fathers killing sons is the product of a sequestration of POWER.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/police-phoenix-area-man-killed-wife-over-hiv-fear

A man, a father killed his wife and his son. His son, living at home, 27 years old. His son a product of a consumerist market that has created a toy, a video game, a bubble of war perpetually played. This boy became the trash of this existence, a life never lived, instead a by-product of a system where a few have power and train the children to serve the needs of that power, and thus, as their state of being is solely focused on war and profit and gain in self interest before life, they design, or allow the design of products that are in the likeness and self interest of this gain, without any regard for life, for children or the people, the plants and the animals on this earth from which the gain, as freely given resource , serves the benefit of a few. This boy spending all his time playing video games in a system that is cutting jobs, taking away what supports those who do not have jobs, and or those who have worked their whole lives.
This is a system where followers are developed, thus we are not taught to direct ourselves in common sense of what is for the common good. Our behaviors are to follow, to sit complacently and play video games, to have a media system tell us what is going on. Meanwhile the rug is being pulled out from under our feet. This earth is falling apart and we, the human choose not to stand as the power, the real power that we are, the being of ourselves as life. This self that can be trained to sit and play video games all day. And this is because we have abdicated out power as ourselves as life, and when we do begin to realize that something is not working with this system, we believe that protest andquestioning of what controls this system will somehow solve what exists. but the disease of power has grown so huge that it would actually create a product that creates children that become autistic, that at 27 years of age have no other self direction but to play video games. The video games are great training for future drone operators, and given the video released by someone who is a traitor to the power maniacs but in actual real life, a person who cares for life, the behavior of the soldiers in that video in that helicopter, they no longer have any sense of reality, those were simply people walking on the ground, there were no weapons in their hands, and it is pretty obvious.
Humans must turn and look at this earth and ourselves as people, there are so many of us, and by our sheer numbers we can stand, so many, so capable, each spending but little to support a group to stand and place a system on this earth that supports life, supports what is best for all, supports what gives all a life of dignity, supports what allows children to stand in support of themselves. A system that requires all to vote and that educates instead of indoctrinates, I mean what system that cared for life would create a video game of war and then imprison a person standing up for life?
Asking such a system to change will do nothing, protesting is what one has been taught to do. Protesting and occupying destructive practices done by corporations that have no care for this earth is not going to do anything, you are controlled if such is what you believe. You are as controlled as that child, who at 27 is addicted to video games. In some ways the children see the mess of this world, and thus can you blame them when they decide to lose themselves in fantasy when the adults around them are all angry and frustrated and economically enslaved and lost in protest, a giant rant instead of realizing that it takes standing up and becoming the change, establishing a new system, a simple system that takes what is here and uses it to take care of all life, to give what is needed to survive, to remove the stress of paying for a life freely given, where the dictates of this system only teach illusion, instead of teaching understanding and self direction within working with what is physically here?
Advertising is so successful because it uses an understanding that the human can be embedded resonantly, an understanding that we humans are trainable entities, an understanding that what goes in is what comes out. Thus within a profit based system where money determines life, a few can create a whole structure that presents words of “goodness” and yet send outs products that focus the human within limited insight away from practical common sense of the actual physical world and how it functions.
We have this tool of communication called television, but within a system of inequality the space of this communication can be bought and filled with the voice of the forked tongue, where incomplete sentences are spoken, information that sounds good, yet lies by omission, not telling the whole story, not showing all consequence. And we have educational systems dictated to by this same system, thus why are our children not learning to read, to speak, and thus to communicate? Why are our fathers, grown men, unable to understand and clear up their own frustrations and getting to the point where they react and kill their wives and their children?
What is happening is not a sequestration, this in itself as how it is presented and incomplete sentence, a lie by omission, what is really happening is a sequestration of power for a few in as bad a state as that child, as that father, locked in a disease of power and control of earth, blind to what is real and the value that is life. Those in power have no sense of themselves as life, have no control over themselves as life, just as the rest of us have no control, our children and our fathers, Thus, it is for the many as the humans at the bottom of this pyramid of inequality, to stand and to politically use this system to stand and to place a system of equality, to use money to move what is produced in abundance, to all equally, especially since we know how to grow fields of perfect tulips, we can grow what sustains us, what gives us all dignified lives, we can open fields , the ones that surround the CAFOS to the cows and the chickens so that they can live the lives they were designed for, to sequester the carbon into the soils, so the trees and plants can grow and produce oxygen. That owner of the company, is not going to give up his lust, and his illusion that he can own what is here on earth. But the many, people standing up realigning what is here, to understand how we got here, so this never ever happens again, and so we can all realize ourselves as life, here.

Watch the Century of Self to understand how we can be taught/programmed, thus realizing we are trainable and can change.
Watch the Power Principle, to understand the lust for power, the lack of awareness for life such dis-ease causes.
Walk the desteni lite course to self realize what emotions, thoughts and feelings are, to understand the building blocks of what you are. Know that being stuck in memory, as knowledge and information only without practical application is the design of this present system to create a human that follows picture/illusion only,having developed no awareness of the physical world, only having ideas about the physical. An idea is not actual physical direct interaction. Sitting in offices with pieces of paper thinking about how something is ONLY, is not reality. Learning what something is in college without actual physical involvement does not mean one understands, it only means one is able to spew words and fill in the spaces of tests, tests that are written and allowed by the same who control the laws and media, those with the money to buy the space. A system of inequality will, by design, lead to a few having the means to buy the space of here and fill it up with their lust, with their fear. And if we accept and allow this, we are all to blame. Asking this to change is not going to happen, we, the many must stand and BE the change, using the system that is here, and standing within it to change it.

What this system promotes is the hope of a super hero, the exact opposite of what it will take to make change, in obvious contradiction to what is real, many humans on this earth, The wars of gain for a few, using the soldiering feet of many is in direct contradiction to what is promoted by hollywood, the idea of the savior, this that religion also teaches, one person cannot change this world, one person cannot win a war, it takes many. Thus, it takes many to simply stand and organize and support monetarily, a system that will end this sequestration OF POWER ( I want to complete the incomplete sentence here) to turn this structural form on earth to one that supports all life, as life is the value.
Time to get out children away from video games, time to get our children standing on their own two feet directing themselves within working with this physical world and turning our television sets into what leads to an understanding of this world to the extent that we all vote knowing we are supporting life, and doing so with understanding. Can there be any joy greater than this?

A link to a Face Book page of relevant documentaries, here.
Equal Money

Day 330 Self Forgivemess Rejection Character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing what is an idea in separation from actual physical reality, the gift given to simply be here, freely given at that, to not see, realize and understand that this world is a physical instrument that allows the expression of life, for all equally, and it is only ideas of what is more than and less than that separate common sense with and as self as life here, manifest as the mind, a consciousness of ideology that is in separation from what is real here,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing reactions that are blind to the common sense of how here works and functions in and as the physical, where themind as a collection of values lacking equality and oneness with the context of physical reality, all elusive and meaningless when lost in a moment, where it is realized that what is real is what is here, and one realizes that one, as self, has never been here, and that it is here, within and as being absolutely forgiving of self that one is finally able to live, and yet within an outward accepted and allowed systemic inequality, manifest as behaviors of gain for a few, actually living here cannot exist, unless this system is stopped, throughstanding up and voting in a system that supports all life, is forgiving with what is freely given here, as the means to sustain life, will self as life become equal and one in thoughtworld and deed, the outward instrument equal and one to the nature of earth as a freely giving supportive form being the giving nature of life, right under our feet.
I forgive myself for wanting to be alone, to hide from facing what is here, for feeling ashamed and guilty for not realizing the value of simply being here, equal and one to what is here as this forgiving physical world, which we have all accepted and allowed the signature of ownership on freely given resources that are the gift of life, and thus have allowed abuse of life, within believing that life must be bought, an idea, imposed on earth that must be removed, as the nature of life is to forgive of itself as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to clench within myself in fear of the bully of ego, and then in protection and defense become angry , where instead of facing the storm of fear, as separation as a habit of limited ideologies, I stop and I breath, and I realize that here, is the directive in commons sense of what is best for all, within and as the principle of what is best for all is best for self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have wanted to be alone to not face what is here, to want to force changes without having looked to the whole as the present system to believe myself to be some kind of super hero within and as one small action making a change not seeing realizing and understanding that it takes many to stand and change what is here, as it is many who have allowed this present system of inequality to exist, this which is supported by a collection of values, that ignore the whole, and thus a manifest system of limitation which is obviously what is destroying this earth and causing unacceptable suffering to many of the plants and animals and humans on this earth, which is in essence disrespecting life , here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that reaction as rejection of what is here, is not looking at what is here, what has been accepted and allowed, and this it is to work with what is here, as running from here is not a solution, it is to stand and to face here, in common sense of how the physical functions within and as what is best for all, where to deny, to not look at what is here, as becoming the same actions as our present accepted and allowed government agencies, that disallow studies that reveal what is in fact happening on earth, the response of, “ there is no proof” which is a crime in and as the behavior of ignorance, against life, by omission, unacceptable and an act of denial of life, here in common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that to omit what is best for all is a crime, a lie, as just as presenting false information, not presenting information is just as false, as both do not consider what is physically here, thus the statement of there being no “ proof” in and as itself a statement of conceptual lack, admitting and ending as ignorance, without investigation, as what is here that does not support all life, has not considered all life, and this must stop until all life is considered, as any anecdote that reveals a state of suffering is simply an indication that the physical world has not been considered,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that the moment I allow myself to go into righteousness, within and as knowledge and information, in and as my mind, I become blame and spite, and thus lose the directive principle of myself as life, here, where I within this, as my physical body, begin to have burning sensations in my thighs and in my head, and thoughts in and as questions as to why something has been allowed, which is a form of blame, as it is looking for ‘Who done it” instead of simply realizing the structure of what exists and correcting this within and as the realization that the only choice is what is best for all, as what supports all life, allows life to be the expression of itself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how I reject facing here within becoming righteous, as I become frustration/recklessness within allowing myself to not look and then I begin to push back and thus to reject, this rejection and constriction in and as fear happening so fast, seemingly simultaneously it is actually hard for me to catch, I have to really slow way down, or immediately my back starts to hurt and my legs start to burn, and I lose an ease within and as myself, and become nauseous, this action I have been doing for so long, that to sense this, to realize this, to go into this and accept this as myself and what is interesting is that I kept entering a point of wanting to cry when I got to this point, and it is here that there is also this sense that I have had of feeling trapped, this fear of being trapped within a coffin and not being able to get out.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand how the mind loves meta-for, to impose idea onto reality, where self is not directed as self, sensing here as self as life, direct, and instead clings to idea, as pictures in and as the mind.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how what I am is the sound of life, forgiving , here sensing here, sensing the commons as the physical here, the real picture the direct physical, where fear is in essence rejecting here, and thus rejecting life, and ideas are distancing myself from being one and equal to what is here, as an idea can become an I deify-cation of what it is that I am as a meta-for in self inner-rest.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that thoughts are the voice of rejection, the spite and blame, the tantrum of not wanting to look here, and thus as long as I fear losing ideas, beliefs, and opinions of what I am, I cannot face what is here as I am chasing an idea and not paying attention to what is real, which is this actual physical existence, this gift of life, here,

I commit myself to slowing myself down, to when and as I find I am beginning to want to blame and spite another, I am existing within rejection and thus am not facing here, the moment I begin to label I am no longer here, equal and one to and as the physical, where I must look here as what exists and become brutally self honest with here, to see, realize and understand that there is nothing to lose except myself as life, unless I realize that what is best for all is best for the support and sustenance of this actual physical world, absolutely.
I commit myself to forgiving all opinions , ideas and beliefs, to take such back to myself as to align this to and as what is best for all here.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that in facing an opinion, an idea of a belief, I am facing a limited insight and there for can only align this to and as what is here in and reality within and as how here functions physically, to bring thought, word and deed, back into and as common sense of what is here and how here functions within and as what is best for all.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to breathing , to facing how I have separated from myself here, to realize that all that can be lost is a collection of ideas, beliefs and opinions, that are not looking here at practical reality.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that practically, usury, is interest lending, where one believes that one owns something, lends this and then expects more in return, as though one was good in lending and deserves something more in return, where even with the starting point of usury, of lending for personality gain of a personification that one is more and deserves more for having lent, this thing lent making one a god, when all one can “lend” is what supports the real gift the self expression of self as life and the means and way of directing within and without to and towards this understanding, that which is the gift of life, where it behoves one to give to support life, as what is best for all is best for self, in support of life, as life is the value, thus, to lend with interest, and within this to believe that one can own what is here that is freely given is delusional, and a crime against life, as it enslaves and does not support life within and as giving to allow life to become an expression of life, as life being the value, absolutely, and thus usury places confining conditions on life, and also believes that what is here can be owned, an illusion as all that can be “owned” is self equal and one to and as life, to live the experience of what is eternal, which is life. thus the mind as imagination at present is the story of fear for survival in self abdication of common sense of life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that allowing a system that leads to one person owning everything is allowing a centralized regime to become the eye of what we are here, instead of becoming self responsible within and as working with the actual physical world in practical common sense, thus, corporations are delusional in believing that they are a person, that can own what is here, where even allowing an ambiguous entity to own something is delusional, yet as long as we all allow this form to condition our lives we allow the abuse existent on earth, and thus it is each and every one of us that is responsible for supporting a system that does not in fact support life, and it is the response of many standing and placing in a system that supports all life, that gives what is needed to live in dignity, as a person, plant or animal cannot live in dignity if the means are not available, thus to disallow self responsibility and blaming the child for not being responsible when what is needed to be responsible is taken in the name of material ownership by a few, is to not face the practical common sense of this actual physical world, and is absolute crime and ignorance of life, here. and as such as this system exists cannot stand against the voice of many, the collective organization of many standing and voting in a system of change, and just as each entity takes small amount of all of our earnings, the small amounts of many, even within their confined spaces of work, can give to a system of equality, as many giving accumulates to allow a system of equality to stand and place itself in an organized manner within the existent structures on this earth, peaceably and with ease, thus support Equal Money, to get this world in support of life, absolutely.

Day 329 More on Rejection Character: I am my own rejection

If I accept and allow myself to react to what another does or says, and take this personally I become a rush of a fear of rejection, of loss, but what is it that I am going to lose? Yes, if I were in a situation where I lived in an impoverished area and there was not enough food, all i would be able to think about is getting food, and I would probably not have the education, even, to realize that - should I live in certain areas of the world, areas of abundant resource in contradiction to the support systems available on earth - to see that what was right under my feet had be assigned with a piece of paper ownership to some distant entity hidden within a corporate name laundering the value of the resource under my feet through dirty practices where the labor in extracting that resource was made to pay for all aspects of acquiring that resource, while the value generated from that resource came out clean and beneficial for a few on another continent where there existed no starvation. But, I live where the resource has been laundered, and there is no starvation because of lack of something to put in my stomach, even though what is here that has been laundered in another way, has very little substance of physical support, like I am a bee on a lower level within a hive, and am only allowed what maintains a “lesser” physical state, which can be counteracted where I live, if one takes the time to investigate what is eaten. Even here, the amount of pollution in the world reaches into all of us. So, what we have created, accepted and allowed is here and has come back to us, the consequence of our human actions are here.
So how do I allow myself to be bullied, how do I allow myself to fear the energetic reactions of men, how do I allow this is touch me, because becoming affected by the emotions and thoughts and words that created, allowed this state on earth, actions that disregard practices that are not supportive of earth, how have I allowed them to affect me, where I get caught up in the storm of this disregard, this that does not allow/work with the expression of what is here as the physical, within and as how it functions within the form of itself in common sense, why is what is here ignored and not allowed to be what it is, how it is, why is it not worked with?
How can humans allow a system of usury, when it has been said that this will not work? When it is known that usury leads to enslavement? How is it that we have allowed chemicals to determine our health, to be touted as what heals, when right in front of us, there has not been healing? Why are we accepting what is unacceptable? The excuses have no validity, they are not facing here, an excuse if simply saying, I don’t want to look here. The problem with this is that this means that one is being a “ non-looking” and as such takes everyone else along. it is abusive because it effects everyone here, the plants the animals, the soils, everything.
So, when I become a fear in facing a non-looking state of being, I am in effect allowing myself to be bullied by a “non-looking” and if I accept and allow this, I perpetuate this. Such behaviors cannot be allowed.
I mean how can a president decide to pass practices that are being questioned all over the world with studies that reveal the detriment of such practices: here the rush to pass and allow such practices is a realization that such practices do not work, because the passing into allowance of such practices at a time when there is evidence that such practices are questionable reveals that this is known. It is like, hurry up and pass this or we are going to lose this, and then make a bunch of commercials and articles presenting goodness, hurry up and resonate goodness to block the reality that is gaining ground.
And then this same president takes away support for the elderly at a time when prices are rising. This is an act in direct contradiction to supporting life, and it exists on a world of abundant resource, thus it has no basis in reality. The President of the United States has no awareness of reality, he guides by ideologies, by ideas only. And this was clear with the initial presentation of hope without full disclosure.
I had this experience in my twenties where I saw a floating head in a room, a very angry expression in the face of this head. One of the things that “hit me” in the moment, was an absolute certainty that his “head” could not touch me unless I accepted and allowed this. Thus, I had no fear of this “thing” and looked at it head on - so to speak, even wanting to talk with this, which I did not do, which perhaps I should have done, but should have could have, would have is pointless at this moment, it is in the past. THis morning I thought , how could I have had a sense that this thing could not touch me unless I allowed it, and within this to not be affected with fear in the face of this, and here i am having a problem within someone in a group I am in, becoming all emotional and egotistical, thinking I am being abused - which maybe I am- but reacting to this within protection and defense and wanting to bully, to become angry, is simply more of the same and is not what steadily directs into a solution that resolves the friction and conflict, and the spiteful actions causing discord? I am becoming the same anger, the same frustration.
If I allowed this while I was performing or playing the violin, i would learn this this way, and then I would probably lose it during performance, or as I was playing I would see a subtle thing suddenly that i had not noticed, because i had not been looking while I practiced the piece. At such moments , I become regret because I has missed an opportunity to experience a subtle expression within a piece, and the moment was gone. I have had this happen, and sometimes just let it go, because in suddenly seeing such a thing, it was also a gift, it was to have had the opportunity to have seen it in totality.
This can only really happen with being forgiving of self, to be present here. Steady, constant, directed, accepting and listening to what is here, without hope for gain or fear of loss. Humans cannot be here if there is fear, is there is worry about food, if there is worry about shelter, which is a crime as there is enough. An example of this stares us right in the face, where the countries of incredible natural resource, are somehow the poorest. As I have said in other posts there is enough space on this earth for humans and animals, and we know how to build up soils and build structures that last, and we know what is needed, that the huge mansions with innumerable rooms cannot be lived in by a person, more than likely there are only a few rooms used, the rest is just a show, such space for a few is unnecessary, it is based on an idea that has no basis in physical reality. It is like building a huge instrument that does not fit the scale of the form of men, such things become useless, wasteful and unplayable. Some of the instruments built by men are useful, but many are a waste, and the waste is polluting the expression of life on this earth.
Why are we building things that are based on ideas that are so out of proportion of common sense of this actual physical world?
Why am I allowing myself to be out of proportion of what is physically real here, in and as how here works in common sense? Why am I allowing myself to take something personal, am I allowing myself to fear losing something that is out of proportion within myself as an idea i am holding onto that lacks perspective of how here functions, to the point where I exist within a warped reality? What this means is to walk in common sense of what is a solution, practically, to bring the reward of being able to “play”, having the human scale size instrument to “play” to be and exist as the gift of life.
In the end the person with the huge house and the person with no house have no instrument to play/express themselves as life, the extremes are in lack, one blinded by ideological-lack-of-reality common sense, and one without the sustenance means to use common sense. And those in the middle, we internet users, exist within limited means to the point where we do not really learn to read, we do not really learn to understand mathematically what is going on, we do not learn how to play a musical instrument, we do not learn to be able to direct ourselves within the simplest of tasks such as hammering a nail into a board. The middle is in petrification of being here, of standing up and realizing what is real as this actual physical world and the systemic structures that are not taking care of this earth, that are now directed by representatives that are directed by a monetary profit system that by its very nature is in direct opposition to what is best for all. Usury is a systemic form that is in direct opposition to what is a practice of what is best for all, To have such a form, a systemic action, and then to give others the ability to represent the voice of many will lead to the representatives choosing in their own self interest before what is best for all, what is good will be placed second to their own profit. Thus such a system cannot work, will not work, and must stop.
I have been taught to defend and protect within a bubble, I have not been taught to look to the whole. This I will have to do myself, as naturally, within such a system of profit such would not be in the interests of the law makers and representatives benefitting from this chance to direct within what gives them more, before what is best for all. And the structures they allow are not instruments that support life.
Thus my behaviors, what I allow must be brought back to self, and held steady within absolutely directing within and as what is best for all, as there is no gain until this earth is realized for the form that it is, and this understood and supported, because if we cannot learn to play this earth, then how can we be allowed to be given our own instruments to play? We have not mastered what is given as a gift to understand life here.
My inner ideologies are a warped reality, they are ideas made huge in separation from what is realistic and supportive here, as this gift of life here. They are myself spread out into pieces lacking peace with here. The only thing is to align the very substance of myself within and as what is best for all, to realize that the only thing that can be lost is not accepting the subtlety of what is here in common sense of how here works as what is here, as the physical and what is best for all within this, is what allows oneself to be.

Within this there would would be no need for a separate peace as in a separate heaven, a separate place where peace would be found, as this “state of being” would be here, everywhere, not needing to be there, not needing to be something sought, not needing to exist away from here, not needing to become a idea of something separate, dreamed about- taking attention from here- because here would be heaven on earth, equal and one, and this is what is best for all. In all common sense.
Thus it is to bring myself here, and direct this desire for gain to protect a fear of loss, and to realize that rejections that are reactive and thus not directive within common sense self forgiveness within and as what is best for all are based on a separation from what is real, which is the physical world here this which is self as life, as a forgiving natural expression of self as life, seen at moments within our children, that which we bully into generational cultivated behaviors for survival in a bubble, without consideration of how the present system is one of inequality, unsupportive, habituated, where the only choice is to stop and breath , and slow down and look and realize that the value is life.

Day 328 Rejection Character

Fear Dimension Rejection Character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being in common sense with and as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow myself down, to breath and to become without desire here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that life is here, that all that I can do within this moment here, is physically apply myself in common sense with here, as I am one person, one body only able to do what I as a human can do physically here, on this physical world, thus, all I can be is the movement of myself here in relation with the life that is here, in common sense, thus looking at what is actually here, and interacting with what is physically here is all that i can be in this moment, thus the focus of myself can only be on what is here, to communicate with what is here as life realizing how here works, where if what is here is taken away from what I am as a human, I have no opportunity to be able to look here, to interact with here which is to say that if what is here is taken how can I become self responsible as life?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry with a system that is a construct of the taking of opportunity from men, through media, through education, by design, as design is understood to be a means and way to organize what is here, and thus the systemic design is a creation with a purpose of serving a few only, the same who design the media, the educational system, the prison system, the economic system, and thus the blame can only be on myself for having accepted and allowed my self responsibility to have been given/abdicated to a representative voice, despite the common sense that it takes many men to fight in a war, that it takes more than one human to grow food, that it takes more than one human to process animals in existent CAFOS, that it takes many men to present what is presented through the media, which is a group of men accepting and allowing disinformation, the dissing of the from of self as life, forgiving of self as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear rejection should I allow myself to become equal and one with common sense, allow myself to be vulnerable as life,speaking up in common sense, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that common sense is not dirty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the limited beliefs, opinions and ideas are impenetrable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that to fear common sense is abuse of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the emotional and physical abuse implied within the word , as the definition, of being vulnerable which means being in common sense of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an idea that being rejected by another means that I am somehow “dirty.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the veil of consciousness is a veil of fear, a veil of separation, into self preservation within a system that acts in self interest without consideration of life as being the value here, a system that is the image and likeness of my own fear of self responsibility, self honesty, self directive principle in and as what is best for all is best for self here, where the common sense of myself is to take what is good, to stand as what is best for all, equal and one.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear pointing out a limited belief, because in so doing I am actually “killing” a limited belief, which will initially create a reaction from the carrier of such a limited belief, where that belief must be brought back to a common sense of this actual physical world, and thus this limited belief can no longer be what defines.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how limited beliefs are the web holding the present system of inequality in place, a system that is abusive and brutal as it acts in the self interest of a few and does not in common sense realize itself as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in rejecting common sense I am separating myself form life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject common sense of here into and as accepting limited knowledge and information, into being and becoming taught knowledge and information that has no experience with application with the actual physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject applying/ walking knowledge and information through common sense of the actual physical world, to fear asking questions that demand answers within and as realizing knowledge and information in relation to common sense of the actual physical world, such questioning often a confrontation for the allowing of oneself to a limited belief bearing no witness to what is systemically existent on earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear aligning belief, opinions and ideas to and towards common sense of what is best for all, which means understanding the present system, investigating how the present system functions, a system of self preservation for a few, so engrossed within this system that all common sense of earth has beed veiled and thus within this, it will take many to stand and move through the veil of inequality, of limited beliefs, opinions and ideas, to stand in common sense with and as the physical, to create a strong voice of common sense of life, and this voice of common sense to walk the land of earth to realign this earth, in gentle step, one step at a time, to create an earth that is self honest as life, self responsible as life, this that each and every human being longs for, where all that is needed is to accept self as life, to step out of themind/consciousness and to breath, to become equal and one to and as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept a system of one way communication, where as media exists that dictates instead of shares, a system where ourchildren sit and take dictations as how they spend their days as children, a system that does not allow the human child to interact, communicate, become one and equal to and as their physical body in common sense, a system that develops knowledge and information without practical application, thus creating robots that spew the ‘party line” of a centralized system of one way dictation without allowing the ability of humanity to become equal and one in understanding of self as life, as what self is a composition of, and thus able to self realize self as life, in common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that whenever I talk about children, I want to cry , as I become that child once again, and within this memory I am standing in front of my father believing myself to be dirty, and feeling so frustrated and somehow not having the words to express myself, and at the same time beginning to believe that perhaps I am dirty, that there is something wrong with me, and at the same time becoming so angry, and so self righteous, wanting to lash out towards my father,, with whom I spent may years fighting, to the point where when my mother would leave the house i was told that I was not to talk with my father so that a fight would not manifest, a verbal fight, as it was a verbal fight more than anything.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that somehow I did not want to accept this fact that I was “dirty” as somehow this made no sense, yet I did not know how to explain myself, as what i had been taught, was being taught to be, was a limited construct of knowledge and information and thus lacked the very learning of the movement of myself in common sense of myself as being equal and one to and as the physical, and within this fighting allowed myself to become the burning fires of righteousness, this a separation and blame of life, and thus did I veil myself from myself as life, in common sense of life, and within this, I was always chasing what I perceived to be gentle, as within my righteousness I came to feel that i lacked a gentle nature and thus would move towards men that I felt were gentle, believing this would somehow save me, projecting this onto an object in separation from myself , not seeing realizing and understanding that i am this, that this that is believed to be separate is available right here, as myself as life, that standing and being equal and one in common sense of life, does not need connection as separation into and as energy as mind to self righteous anger and fear, and that within myself my reaction as anger, manifest as fighting as righteousness is myself crying , is the movement of myself from myself, away from myself as the common sense of myself as life, into and as protection and defense in the face of the storm of emotions, feelings and thoughts as the mind of a con-sciousness as what my parents were within a system of inequality, a systemic fear of survival non supportive of life, here, where the only choice is to realize the value is life, and to create a system of equality, using the structures existent to begin to realign ourselves equal and one, through equal money, to finally live and create a heaven on earth.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that fearing rejection, is an illusion, where the fear becomes self, and thus within this looking here is no longer possible, where I must stop and breath, and look at here in detail and bring myself back here, stabilize myself in and as breath, to practically apply how here functions within and as what is best for all is best for self, where I do not allow myself to make an object as a person or idea a limitation, determining what i am here as the expression of myself here, I stand and I look and move and speak in consideration of what is best for all, as this is best for self, I essentially bring myself within my physical body and realize myself here, in common sense of here, where the words of another can be used to direct what is being expressed into and as what would support all life, equal and one, as life being the value here, where any belief, opinion and idea is simply a part/piece needing alignment into and as what is best for all, what would support all life as life being the value here.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that what I face in fear, and/or in frustration are ideas being expressed, often again and again, when another speaks and reacts to what does not agree with limitation, will, just as with myself when learning something new, need repetition, restatement, time to consider, time for rebellion, as a limited idea made huge, in and as energy, does not want to change its view point and thus will react, such reaction will resist alignment within and as what works, within what is best for all, and will also react within not having agreement, as an idea in separation from life as limited insight in separation from equality and oneness to and as life seeks justification and will become reaction if it is not fed, and thus such behavior is simply a storm of separation from life here, not something to fear, simply something to walk into and as life, equal and one in common sense of life here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that fearing the words of another, or fearing loss, as in fearing being rejected is simply myself fearing the loss of myself as an idea, and thus not what is real, as this physical world is what is real, and thus, all desires within and as myself, and without, can be brought back to self, equal and one to and as life here.
I commit myself to breathing, to slowing myself down, to becoming patient in the storm of energy, as separation from life here, to realize that myself as energy has a quality of “loopyness” that can be read, in and as the emotions, thoughts and feelings in and as my mind, which can then be forgiven back to myself as life here, realigned equal and one in common sense of what is best for all, where it is to recognize any and all blame and spite within and without, to stop and to breath and to not allow this energetic action, as it is an action of discord and ‘hunger” frustration and thus separation from life,, here.
I commit myself to slowing myself down and breathing, to not allow the anxiety within and as myself to become a search for justification in and as a morality of values taught in childhood and by a society if inequality partitioned into divisions of class, race, nationality, gender, age, to see realize and understand that such self definitions are limited as consideration of what i am and can only limit if accepted and allowed such expression, as the value is life, equal and one as what each and every one of us is, here.
I commit myself to slow myself down and breath, each and every time I notice and/or catch myself becoming frustrated and thus fearful of loss and rejection, moving into an energetic reaction of wanting to win, to see, realize and understand that in allowing myself to become a desire to win, I have already rejected life, here, and thus it is for myself to stop and to breath, to slow myself down and look here in common sense to align myself within and as the principle of oneness in equality, as what is best for all , to investigate what is here and to take that which is good, and to realize and make it clear that within a profit based system, a system of debt and usury, what has been allowed before life is the benefit of a few.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that in and as what I am as life here, am I able to use common sense through being equal and one to and as the physical to look and see what exists here and what is the course of action within and as what is best for all, through walking through ambiguity as the answer to and towards what is best for all is directly here, as this is the gift of life here.
I commit myself to taking the thought that I lack in gentleness back to myself as life, as this is not something separate from me, whether this self judgement of lack as a belief, is a cultural stance in and as something relegated within gender, or taken as being vulnerable, where within this belief, lies the strength of self as life, as it is the patience of gentleacceptance as a state of non-resistance that accepting and sensing what is here is the way and means of sensing the space here, as what is here is freely given in and as life, an act of gentleness by its very nature, as what life is here, thus has being vulnerable been made a behavior of ignorance and considered a weakness when in fact it is a strength, as the gentle patience of allowing oneself to be open and vulnerable is where self can sense what is here.

Thought Dimension Rejection character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts about another and about myself within and as I face anxiety in fearing rejection where I attempt to find redemption within seeking a point of like mindedness with another , to stop and to realize this is not a solution to oneness and equality here, where the solution is to stand here, stable within breath, to slow myself down and not allow myself to find a counter focus to hide my own fear of rejection towards another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to peruse another person to look at how they dress, their mannerisms, their stance, their accent, their demeanor to gage a response to and towards them that will elicit an agreeable interaction, as this is myself shielding myself from an idea I have accepted and allowed that I will be rejected, where I have already become unstable into and as energy as a fear of loss, to at this moment stop and breath, and not react to any and all behaviors with which I encounter, to here, see, realize and understand that there are no answers within and as the thoughts, as the dialogue of limited values as what i was taught within defining another according to the morality within which I was born on earth, to here stop and to breath, and to simply see what is here as one and equal to and as me, and to direct within brutal self honesty within and as what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how myself as mind has no stability, is an act of separation, manifest as emotional and feeling reactions, and thoughts that attempting to talk with another is impossible.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel in the face of another talking that it is impossible to communicate with them in common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that another will not be interested in hearing anything but their own self validations.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I must hurry, within and as explaining myself when talking with another person.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that actually looking at another person is too much to bear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the thought that actually looking at another person is too much to bear, as what this is is looking at myself, and/or looking at what is consciousness, a mind in separation in and as thoughts, emotions and feelings, consuming what is here in separation from life, where this is simply an energetic storm that within specificity is able to be walked back into equal and one, to and as life , here, through thus stabilizing as breath, slowing down, and utilizing common sense allowing myself to look at the physical world, as this is what is real, right here in front of me, as what is here is life, equal and one, to and as what I am here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I cannot do this, I cannot stop the mind, of thoughts, and the emotions and feelings in and as myself here, and to forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i cannot change what is here, that I had not found the magic words to change actions that have transpired within and as my life and world, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become impatient with myself within and as learning to see what i have accepted and allowed within and as myself as thought, emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that all thoughts are of judgement, seeking a self validation, an escape from facing myself as life, here, to giving up ideas about who i am, and what i am here, to see, realize and understand that in understanding how the mind works, it is to recognize thoughts as a shield from facing self, where there are thoughts as:
idols, of pointing out a positive, to avoid a negative,
a memory “state” as a desire to be within comfort in not wanting to deal with facing here, making decisions within realizing what I fear facing believing myself incapable,
imagining a gloom and doom scenario, believing myself to not have a way forward, which is a belief that a past failure is what I am here, which is an ignorance of realizing how this physical world works, where ideas as labels become what i am, which I accept and allow,
To have thoughts of blame and spite, wanting to run from here, not face here, allowing a self judgement as believing myself to be inferior and thus a hopeless case
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that when and as I catch myself becoming frustrated, angry, self righteous I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I allow myself to become vulnerable within and as facing the storm of emotions, thoughts and feelings in and as energy, to become equal and one to what is here and forgive myself within looking at the energetic reaction , to become one and equal to and as it, gently, breathing, moving this through my chest, within and as compassion, in total forgiveness, without hope of gain or fear of loss, to give direction to and towards this within what is best for all, within what brings the gentle state in and as another accepting and allowing self forgiveness within allowing a vulnerable self to be open to whatever outcome leads to a solution within and as putting an end to the conflict and friction that is consciousness endlessly seeking self justification, to within being forgiving, as self as life, to realize that nothing can be lost but self as life, here, and thus the moment I find myself reacting in and as mind, within and as fear of rejection , I stop and I breath, and I find my own heart/earth and I allow myself to be and become vulnerable to stand as myself as life in self forgiveness to bearth/earth myself here, equal and one and to no longer allow my mind to become spite and blame, anger and fear, even if and when the storm of emotion and feeling and word as thought resists/becomes heated/bullies.
I commit myself to, when and as I sense a desire to become righteous, I stop and I breath, and I do not respond until I have brought myself back into the physical through breath, and slowing myself down, I remain here, stable and steady in and as being forgiving paying attention to what would be best for all, even admitting the need for investigation when necessary not allowing this to become a judgement in and as a weakness which is a belief that I must be perfect, an illusion as there is not perfection unless what is oneself in thought word and deed is what is best for all, in every moment here.
I commit myself to practice walking within and as breath, here, remaining vulnerable as in being open within and as being self forgiving within and as what is best for all here, this being an ability to answer within a state of ease, as the gift of life, is here, and this gift is freely given, here, right in front of us, thus the will of self need only forgive itself as life, to what is freely given here, which is life, given without any manner of condition, and thus the only rejection that exists is myself resisting life, as it is here, gently given, where the shame of myself is to not have seen this, right in front of me, this tool of self forgiveness to a gift given right in front of me, and within this it is for all to realize that somewhere, at some point everyone has been this for a moment, thus we all know this, all it takes is to become this as a constant, here, where this is right in front of us.

                                                       DIP Lite Forgive yourself back to life

Day 327 Orderly with Tulips yet NOT with men?

People talk about dogs as having had obedience training, I have even heard some say that “ that person has not trained that dog”, which means that dogs can be trained, and the dog’s behavior - dogs that are supposedly “less intelligent” then men,- is because the owner has not taken the time to discipline the dog. But then we blame a human for their behaviors! There is obviously a disconnect here in logic. A dog can be trained and the fault is not with the dog but the owner, or , for that matter the dog’s behavior is blamed on the dog having been neglected and/or abused. Why is not the same attitude used within looking at the human being? Obviously, if a human comes from a stable home, they are more likely to succeed, so a human that does not succeed, or is unable to “get a job” and take care of themselves, it becomes the fault of the human. Even plants are looked at for what they lack and what they need, even looking at the soils as what determines the health of the plant. But with humans, this is not practiced. What would make a healthyhuman is not what is sold in the stores, is not what is produced. Is creating an ideology that humans are “more than’ animals a ploy to hide the fact that they are actually the same, needing an environment of support and education to become all that they can be, and that it is the environment that creates the human? The fact that education exists admits that humans can change and develop , thus a lack of education disallows development, real education does develop the human, and that if this is not happening than something is not working within the system, something is not working for the human to be able to become self directed, self honest, self responsible. It is not being given.
This lack of development in the human, makes no sense, especially since we humans have developed a system that can cultivate fields and fields of seemingly identical and supposedly “perfect” tulips. This shows a systemic approach, developed and practically organized to consistently produce something. Yet, with humans, we have a belief that each individual human is to blame for their behavior, so on the one hand we blame the individual, and one the other we create systems to produce a consistent outcome overall. On the one hand we realize steps needed to create consistency and on the other we ignore this. But here is the “twist.”
Because we, as humans, are systemically able to organize what is here and developed what is wanted in an orderly fashion when it preserves the self interest of profit, would mean that the very behavior of the human, as it exists at present is of a systemic design. I mean, there are so many prisoners in the United States that it is now a profitable business, our prisoners are making all the war helmets, and the tax payers are paying for this, and a profit is being made, because these companies that now run the prisons are showing their profits! This would mean that prisoners are created in a systemic way. So, this can be nothing other than profit from abuse, profit from a measured disallowance of potential, which is a suppression of life.
Then we have this “star” quality we have turned into a carrot on a string, turning self development into some magical “state of being” that only a few have, as though we as humans are a hive society. Ironically, there is a place for all expression, but a forced expression, is not freely moving, it needs chains and dictates, and thus an indication that life is not understood.
With this system, we have allowed the “exception to the rule” a “rule” of separation from life, a “rule” of inequality, to be the norm, and the development of a person within self expression to be a special “star” quality, yet with our systems of production we show ourselves that we can organize consistent development. The two are at odds, and one admits the other ability, either being suppressed or allowed development. How does this make any sense?
This would mean that we are rejecting looking at what is here in common sense, and that we are all within limited insight of the actual physical world, choosing to look “here and not there”, it means that our media is selecting values and presenting them, building ideologies that can be deconstructed because they are not considering the life around them in totality. As long as money determines who gets what is for-life-given resources on earth for the profit of a few instead of being used to allow all life to develop as it is meant to function according to its inherent form, what will exist is abuse of life, abuse of the form of life here. No matter what is said in opposition to this, the evidence is everywhere in the destructive behaviors this present system creates.
Life is being completely rejected and then beaten with a stick - so to speak- and those doing the taking in self interest - are a robot of limited belief, limited insight, limited opinions and ideas. As long as we support this system, we, each of us, are to blame. And the solution is to change the system, to realize life as the value, to realize we can only be in one place at a time, and that we as the human being “form” can only deal with what is here right in front of us, thus what do we need to actually live here, in practical application here? What we all want, as life, is to interact here, with what is here, and in order to do this there are physical needs that must be met, and this does not need a huge home within innumerable cars and “stuff” for one person, and it does not need all the war machines we allow to be developed. The war machines are simply a bully stick in brutal suppression of ourselves as life, here. We punish ourselves as life in allowing this. This makes no sense. It reveals a lack in our sense of ourselves as life. And obviously, we know how to create “order” as we show ourselves this within the fact that a system exists!

So, as always, I look to the whole and then bring this back to self, as this starts with myself, as a human. This system is an accumulation of what I have accepted and allowed.
Within myself, in not allowing myself to be vulnerable, in fearing the voice of opposition to life, here and not speaking up in common sense, I become one and equal to the opposition to life, instead of allowing myself as life to speak. One of the things I have written about is that common sense is considered dirty. And as a child, I felt as though I was considered “dirty”, diseased, the bringer of disease. This was simply my parents wanting me to survive within the present system, being inferior to life, being in fear of survival, beating what was needed to survive through humiliation and denigration, which I accepted and allowed, as being a child, there really, as far as I could see within wanting to survive myself, no other place to go. In all common sense, one person cannot change this system, it takes many, just as the armies created to abuse life are composed of many men. And this is even turned into stories by Hollywood of one man being the salvation within some “created” conflict. This in the face of the fact that many many many men covered the beaches of Normandy. I mean really! Time to let go of an illusionary dream of being that movie star-super hero energetic orgasm, it is a sold carrot on a string, and within that carrot is a hook pulling you out of the water of life, taking you from yourself as your self as life. It is a marzipan carrot, it is not real, it is poison.

The solution is a system of equality, realizing the value is life and creating a system that allows all life to be and become , equal and one to and as life, here.