Day 590 Who I am within the culture of woman. Day 5 Self forgiveness and Self Correction.

Day 5 Who I am within the culture of women.

I have been so busy reacting as being in expression of judgement as imagining that I am not being substantiated- all of which is based on self defining labels, that I have distracted myself from my own common sense. I even fear the reactions of self defining values being rendered meaningless, and placed into perspective in practical reality because an allowance over time of such emotional states to define  can become volatile and reactive as my automated defined self becomes stagnant where change becomes an illusion of loss when called out.  There is a part of me, a voice in my head that says, “ why the fuck do I have to do this” and “ why do I have to take the time to set this BS straight”  And “ get a grip and grow up, stop distracting others into your pity patter,” “ Look, no one is really trying to hurt anyone, it is all a big mis-understanding” and “ How dare you bring that BS here!” This is the voice as the back chat of protection and self defense of an ego construct, a self built value system that is a separation from being equal and one to practical reality here, where flow happens, which is where creation happens.  Do I continue to exist as a value judgement or do I become what i am, a creator?

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my inner world is of idea, belief and opinion, and not equal and one in consideration of practical life, here, which is life in expression, and as that point of expression, as a form, change happens here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to act in self interest in wanting to define myself in a bubble in separation from reality, from life, thus I am that which I accepted and allowed a separation from being equal and one to creation, which is manifested as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow resistances as ideas, and beliefs and opinions, in and as my mind, as an entity of stagnation as imagination, fantasies, projectiles of protection and self defense as idea and behaviors of suppression to maintain my own fantasy/imagination all done in self interest/self inner-rest  where anything that threatens my own idea about myself I react to as I fear change, as I fear that which would equalize myself to and as life as ironically that which I seek, that equal respect of all life being where I live the full potential of myself as life, as this is self honesty where I allow myself to move and flow with what is real, as the physical realizing that the physical world is an expression of me and of all life, as each is me in another life expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what another thinks of me, which is an act of comparison from a starting point of a self interest as self definition cannot define me, unless I accept and allow it as idea, belief and opinion, as life is an expression of which must by nature sound what is best for all to withstand the test of time and have the stability to sustain itself into eternity, which means change, into and as, what is best for all here, which is the joy and the fun of it all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see , realize and understand that when and as I have back chat, as voices in and as my mind of “ Why do I have to put up with the emotion”, or “ Why do I have to put up with this BS” or “ get a grip” or “Who does she think she is” I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I bring this back to myself, as this is a red flag of belief as self definition which is a movement, a limited expression accepted and allowed as me that is in conflict and friction with practical reality, and that even if I have noted a limitation without, it is to move into solution in realizing nothing defines me unless I allow it, and to take the belief, insight and to assess the form and align this into what would allow awareness into that which gives expression that considers all life, that brings focus, that is self honest and as such is a solution of self honesty, self responsibility which is stable and sustainable, and can withstand the test of time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become reaction only, as emotion, and desire for a feeling of gain, a feeling of value as an idea only.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not listen to myself to see, realize and understand the very sound of my voice, as myself when in more stable and giving situations can speak in a consistent tone that needs no force.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how physically I close myself up, pull myself in, suppress myself, as I believe what another thinks defines me, and/or my own beliefs that I have allowed to define me, may be lost and as such I would cease to exist, or so I believe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand that I as life am common sense.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become equal and one, as expression of life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I fear, as in physically form myself  inferior to life as conceptually allowing one aspect to be more than another, I tense/close/constrict/pull inward/invert which is like compress within and “ burn” in a righteous protective manner, creating an energetic storm, as an emotion, that believes itself righteous, right, as I focus on an idea, belief and opinion only, and as such separate from life expression, from being a reciprocal action of giving as I would want to receive in thought word and deed , my accepted limited expression of energy as an idea, as a judgement,that shuts/rejects myself  as life, as this self honesty where I am a being in expression of common sense of all as me, of life in expression around me as the physical.

When and as I find myself reacting within and as me, becoming inferior to what is here as life in expression, be it energy as belief, opinion and/or idea, as a value used to define, a limitation that is not necessarily a good or a bad, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand the information presented and I assess, through evaluation, examination of the parts presented and I move as the moment here, realizing that life is of a sound expression, and that this is the practical application of common sense, realizing that the value is being here, in focus as respecting life as the value, and I apply the principle as this, within and as what is best for all, taking in life formation practically to practice that which does no harm and takes that which is good.

When and as I find myself reacting to a value, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess within me, my own accepted and allowed habit of self definition before life, to see where I am seeking profit in self interest as a self definition visible as a reaction of taking things personally, an overall separation from common sense, and I bring myself here, ground myself in the practical here, realizing nothing can be lost and all can be gained in realizing/accepting all life  as me, which means becoming practical, practicing equal consideration of physical reality as being life, living life being the value.

When and as I feel a pressure building up in my solar plexus, I stop and I breath, and I see what thoughts as belief, opinions and ideas, as my past of exposure to culture and experience within limited ideas that had no real self substantiation as life,  built of opinions and beliefs that I accepted and allowed to define me, manifest as the voices in and as my mind consciousness system construct, as energy as what is good and what is bad, as what I resist that is persisting as beliefs circulating and accumulating within and as me, falling into my solar plexus, and I stop, and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I look at the human code as the words and values attached to the words, as generational value systems in separation and limitation of life information as reality here, and I asses and deconstruct through self forgiveness, and reconstruct within the principle of what is best for all here.

When and as I find myself reacting and moving into justification and protection and self defense, I stop and I breath, and I realize what would give solution through investigation of here practically, as in looking at the detail of here, within taking that which is good and does no harm, and within this realizing that nothing can define me unless I accept and allow it, and to realize in practice that to become a belief that I am unworthy in any measure is a disrespect of life as what I am, and I stabilize myself here until I am grounded, here.

When and as I find myself believing myself inferior and/or self aggrandizing as imagination into a belief as being superior, I stop and I breath, and I look at my thoughts as my back chat in and as my mind, to self correct through self forgiveness into what is best for all, as what is a practical application of myself here as a physical being in a physical reality, to see the practical steps necessary to direct myself here.

When and as I practice being practical here, in consideration of life being the  value, I slow down, I breath, I sense the thoughts within and as me, I sense the posture of my human physical body, the instrument of my self expression as life, here, to realize where I am not equal and one to life here, as an actualized movement of equality and oneness to and as life here as the physical, to see where I am not of sound mind, meaning to realize where I am not moving with ease, with flow, with forgiveness here, as the words I speak and the tone with which I speak, and the assessment of the physical world around me in respect of life, as this is the way and the means to equalizing myself to the physical as an instrument of life, which is accepting the gift of life here, to become equal in creation with life as the physical.

Day 584 My Personality with Women. Cont. Self Forgiveness

 I return full circle to the point I started from, the friend that I remember having easy laughter with. And this sense that it is okay, I no longer have to protect myself from reprimand or the judgements of others, the internal self definitions feared being lost, one that appears to maintain a state of feeling happy, as a value has been used to substantiate instead of the value being here, being life. Thus, I determine who I am within what I allow. And in this instance, if I am with a woman, and I move into worrying about whether that person/woman is happy, I look to how I am manipulating myself to see if that woman is happy within, so that I am secure from harm, and I realize that I am as well, protecting myself from an imagined possibility of harm based on a past of being a child, where children really have little say against the beliefs as personifications of the adults in their world. So, I stand in common sense of what is practical, in a physical world, and direct myself within and as the principle of what is best for all, and remain stable within this, to enjoy being here, as it is being here, in direct seeing with the physical, that is being equal to the value being life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must be acquiescing to the emotions and feelings of others, as an end point.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must cater only to the emotions and feelings of others to ensure that I am protected.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the wrath of a woman scorned.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, as a reaction to fearing the wrath of a woman, distract myself from looking here, being practical here, and instead manipulate a situation  to damn up the fear of loss, as not acting in ways that substantiate the self ideology of a woman, which is in reality, as what I have accepted and allowed, damned not only myself but also the woman/women.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being practical, here, which is to fear being myself here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in serving the emotions and feeling of another, a woman, I am in self interest, guarding my self from an imagination of loss, and within this separating myself from my own common sense of practical reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my friend did not determine my ability to laugh, my ability to be in joy here, as this can be in every moment, here, as myself allowing and accepting what it is that I am within as an expression of life, realizing that life is the value, and that this value can only be lived in its full potential here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that having friends determines the state of myself within.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect laughter to a friend from my past.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that laughter can be taken away.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place laughter within friendship only and also not something that I can experience around what I have defined as woman of authority.

Day 582 My Personality with Women Self Forgiveness

In the next blogs I am going to walk a point within my relationships with women. 

My personality with women.

I had a memory come up during a conversation about women and how it is more difficult for me to talk with other woman then it is with men.

As I talked about the memory, I could feel my eyes begin to fill up with water, with tears. Though I felt somewhat calm about this memory, my eyes and the tears welling up told another story.

I had a friend in elementary school. We would hang out and, as I remember it, laugh with abandon, as though just being together was a joy and this joy expressed itself in laughter. I specifically remember sitting on a wall, legs dangling, the two of us laughing, just looking at one another being enough to laugh.

It came to pass, that my father, a journalist, wrote an article about my friend’s mother, one that was not well received by my friend’s mother.

From that day on, I never saw my friend again, we were no longer allowed to be friends, to visit with one another. I remember calling and being told that my friend was busy. This friend even started to attend another school, so the separation was sudden and complete.

I remember being very upset and saying to my father that it was not fair.  How could I be deprived of this friendship? 

I remember feeling like I lost something that was irreplaceable.

I remember wanting to blame my father for writing such an article.

I remember wanting to blame my friend’s mother for keeping my friend from me.

I remember wanting to understand why my friend could not stand up against this, as though this was something she had to do as well.

I remember getting angry at my mother for being told that I needed to get over it and that another friend would come along, and that sometimes things like this happen. I really did not want to accept that I could not be with this friend based on  what an adult had said about the other adult.

I became very spiteful towards everyone around me because I could no longer visit my friend. It was like I went into a tantrum after being sad about losing my friend. As the memory is charged with emotion, with the loss of my friend, with the loss of my laughter with another person that was of ease and had no value other than just being together and laughing I have to slow down and forgive this  memory, the sense of loss, the association of loss to the joy of laughter, the ensuing justifications and anger into blame and spite towards the adults in my world and the system, and the questions as to why that were never resolved, as there is a lack of understanding of how values have defined us in a game of survival based on ideas about who we are instead of realizing the value is simply being here, and in the process of self expression, which demands becoming aware. And yet, within the present system of competition, there is going to be not only constructive criticism but also spiteful remarks and reactions from a lack of remembering that growth in awareness and development takes time and requires mistakes as a natural part of the learning process and that what one person says about another does not define them, it is just a point made, thus the point must be cleared instead of the limitation of seeking punishment based on an idea about something that was said, when what one believes someone had said, may have nothing to do with what was said.

Here it is easy to see how we become so limited, and that “ storm” is one of emotion, which is an energetic emotion, that squirms and spites and blames, spinning around and around, going nowhere, creating a good and a bad, where self becomes a personification of spite and blame projected outward and self carries no real responsibility as creation, this responsibility being the stead of moving into solutions once such a division has occured, that resolve the divisions into judgements, those acts of diminishing those around us within behaviors of limiting comments about another, where the solution is to do that which allows self expression in understanding what is here practically as creation to move in respect of all life, as this being-ness with creation is much more directive and fulfilling.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel sad about the loss of my friend.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something was lost in the loss of my friend

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the world came to an end with the loss of my friend.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that if I feel laughter, the joy to want to laugh that the world of laughter will inevitably be taken away, where it is to realize that this is a memory, a past event, one that only defines me if I accept and allow it, as I realize that it is an act based on beliefs of what defines oneself .

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame my father for writing something that took my friend away.

I forgive myself for spiting my father for writing something that took my friend away.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself believe that something that was written took my friend away

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to spite my mother for saying that I would get over losing my friend and that new friends would come along to take the place of this friend, as though everything was disposable and replaceable.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the world was a cruel and mean place to live because of social politics, because an adult extended what was said about one aspect of their life onto other aspects of their life, using the people around them to fight battles they believed were an onslaught against them, when it may just have been constructive criticism, and if it were not, then it was not something to define them, because in the end nothing defines us but what we accept and allow.

Within this I forgive myself for allowing and  accepting myself to believe that the loss of my friend was a spiteful act, when it was an act of self defense in a world where criticism of another is taken as fact and not investigated to see if it is constructive or just plain spiteful, because if it is constructive criticism then it is a gift to accept, and if it is spite, it is something to let go of, and as such, criticism of what someone does is not something to take personally and react to in using extended family as a means of retaliation, as just as I write here, that spiting and blaming my parents and the parents of my friend and my friend is not the solution, as the solution is to look at what was said, assess it and take that which is good, as that which might give insight in developing and expanding awareness, and/or to realize in practical common sense as being spiteful, and not something to take personally, which, in looking at both possible scenarios, one is self empowered to assess and then stand addressing the issue instead of going into acts of retaliation and revenge, of vindictive behavior to protect an idea about oneself based on the words of another, as protecting ideas about oneself in a state of being in protection and self defense instead of looking at what supports self in standing in ways that give self direction and the strength of self honesty.

Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that losing my friend meant that I lost the capacity of myself to enjoy the world around me, because I had placed laughter within a limited context as being something with this friend only.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that despite losing my friend, and even if this loss was based in the accepted and allowed  societal behaviors of spite and blame, on a lack of self honesty and ability to realize constructive criticism and competition,  fear of the words being a belief that the words of another defines the receiver of the words, does nothing to build a sound character who can withstand emotional storms of judgement, taking that which is good and does no harm and letting go of what is a consequence of believing words define us instead of words being the way and the means to communicate insights to allow us to expand in the understanding of life being the value.

When and as I find myself with water welling up in my eyes, I stop and I breath and I see, realize and understand that I was a child, caught in a world of competition within limited  beliefs that what another says about us defines who and what we are, in all a separation from and of the value being life, so why do we believe that words can define us, when they can change and are the way and the means of change as words are how we communicate and describe what is here, thus words are tools more than weapons, words are insight more than label, words are units to show us where we came from and where we are and where we can move to, that movement being what expands our awareness and understanding, movements that allow transformation, as this is life in formation from one expression to another, which is how we learn to become equal and one to being the creators that we are as being the very substance of life, were we not, then we would not be. Thus, it is to be here, and to realize that spiting and blaming as word formations/expressions, which is a sound formation, is a limitation of self being life in expression which is creation which is accepting change and development and  discerning what expands realizing that spite and blame and fear of being defined by words of another, is self in abdication of life, here.

When and as I become sad at the loss of a friend based on a politic of belief that what another says defines me/us, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that this belief that what another says about oneself when believed to define us, is a self feeling threatened and a fear of losing some standing within the community which is a behavior of survival instead of a behavior of being self honest, a behavior of looking at what another says and assessing the constructiveness of it, or lack thereof.

When and as I find myself believing that I lost a friend, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that though this might have been an instance where the adults in the wold around me allowed what was said to threaten their self definitions, this act cannot define who and what I am here.

When and as I find myself becoming sad, within and as the loss of my friend, where tears well up in my eyes , I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that I was a child in an adult world, and as such I am now the adult, so this past can only define me if I accept and allow it.

When and as I find myself becoming tearful based on a memory of the past about the sudden loss of a friend, I stop and I breath and I see realize and understand that I can laugh and be here, that I do not need one specific person to determine my ability to laugh,  as life is here, in this moment, and that I can only be here, in this moment as this is where life is lived.

Day 450 Offshoring and Transnationals: Dissembling Life

In reading about offshoring and transnational practices, that use tax havens that move the values of resource and labor as money around the globe in a digital world where a business can be created in a manner of minutes, a virtual perpetual loophole,  to allow a sybaritic life for a delusional few who are lost in their minds of idea that they as humans are more than others because they can dress in a suit, have an education, eat proper foods and receive health care other than what they deliver to the rest, I realize can no longer be allowed. And yet, the allowance of this avoidance of tax, this hiding in usury particulars where between subsidiary companies loans are made for salaries then written off somewhere else, where lawyers become the trust holder and hide behind client lawyer confidences/privileges - placing the burden of proof “ out there” for some slow moving lawyer to find a burden of proof  in a mirage of intangibility - which begs the question as to why it is not asked for transnationals to prove they are NOT avoiding taxes and hiding profits,  of, for example-  federal land resource use sales- within /by comparison tiny royalty figures in countries that are set up to have such laws - all of this a structure that feeds the corporate construct of abdication of responsibility to earth and its inhabitants. A body that then passes, or begins to impulse an idea that water should be made a commodity or sexual release in the form of masturbation to pictures should be a commodity to be sold because capitalism as capital gain via profit is  believed to be the proper order of the day, obviously a dis-functional one at that given the state of earth. 

To capitalize from earth is really to respect earth, absolutely, as the absolute purpose of the physical earth is to be life, as this is the value.There is no “ more” than this. If one thinks of mastering something, it means understanding all the parts to the point where all parts are in function absolutely and even here, realizing that even the machines we build are of multiple parts, that are not a monoculture. Thus, the earth cannot become a master of life until all of earth, every part is functioning, and this would make sense in terms of life being in expression. The physical is life ordering itself into an expression, it is only men that are the rogues - so to speak- lost in beliefs that they are some kind of god, when it is the physical, all of it that is the expression, no god needed, as the physical as life gives understanding absolutely because this would be how life could exist. Which is why earth is being destroyed because humans are existing as zombies, actually believing that they are some higher being, when they are not more than and not less than, they are simply equal to life as they are composed of life - this is the real “ more than.”

First, there was the word and then - then then then then then - there was god - an idea of a “ more than” - this the separation. A word is a sound structure, a formation of a movement, and a movement from nothing is a sound and that created a structure - so to speak, and that structure had to exist before there could be any so called “ god.” Life is the value before any god, and since form and structure is what then creates another structure, such as an atom, then this builds and what works what creates to enable more expression in varied forms, this means that this is the fun,this means that all can understand creation, this means that no one structure can be more than another, and that the idea that one thing is more is a separation, because if a form is not allowing expression than it as sound can change, be as mutable as water. The problem is the creation of idols by men through beliefs as mind. And this has gone on for so long, not having moved beyond an idea being more than the physical, that the consumption of the physical world to create the idol as idea is what is happening on earth. So when we fear ideas while the physical is showing us that the ideas are not working, we abdicate our response ability as life. 

So, the corporate use of secrecy, usury, tax abuse, and corporate supremacy ideology before life, is each of us as what we are simply allowing as what each of us do as mind to exist, as each of us tout ideas as more than physical reality. We do this in thinking that a black man is less than a white man. We do this in thinking such things as class is real, despite it being known that a proper education and a stable home life create and develop a human being to be functional, and this all admits that  developing humans beings is a process. Any lack within this process creates a limited human being. So, a belief in a “ more than,” fixed in stone, is dissembling life and is in separation from the absolute purpose of life to be directive within what supports life absolutely. Government officials are simply existing in a belief that they are more than others, and can write contracts where natural resources on federal lands make very small royalty payments to the total American infrastructure on the ground and HUGE profits hidden in off shore structures, where the taxes on these sales basically do not exist, and thus the salary taxes of the “ workers” on the ground all pay for everything, even the  toys/aggression self interest only tools of submission of the military - these then sold to resource rich  economically “ poor” countries. 

And even here there is another layer, the transparency in these economically  poor countries is “ low “ on some created western systemic scale of measure, and it is low because there is not enough money to pay/buy the lawyers to act as a trust to hide practices, and in the western countries where there are lots of lawyers, there are castle wall laws and bodies in place to HIDE what is going on, so the measure of these “ transparency” laws is high in these countries, I mean, this is very very messed up. But if we all look at this, we can realize we are this within ourselves. The problem is that this considers self interest in a bubble only, and thus is in separation from practical physical reality.

This planet really does not need the corporate structure as it now stands, this is the illusion. What must be realized is that expecting an illusion to change is not going to happen, each of us, the many must simply stand and build a structure of earth maintenance that supports all life, and this is done within simply realizing the form and function and structure of this physical world, which can be understood when one has the words as the structure within, the forms, to see the forms without. We sense them, we really just need the “imitations/structure”  of them in word, to get us back to understanding and using our natural ability of common sense of life as what we are.

We humans need to “ catch ourselves back up” so to speak, to our common sense, and stop the stagnant ideological mind beings that is us being no different than zombies. I mean, just look, our relationships with others are not working because we are in essence wanting others to match and validate ideas about ourselves that we have. We are wanting our limited frameworks to be substantiated incessantly. If we were substantial, the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, we would not need another to substantiate us, we could stand in eternity so to speak. This would mean we would have to become equal to the sound of life, and this would mean there would never be a death, this would mean that there would only be transformation.

So, the idea of a god, the idea of a more than is just this, an idea.  This corporate structure is the outward manifestation of what we are all allowing and accepting within. We are all being secretive, we are all wanting to tax another to pay for what we are not willing to stand equal to in responsibility, not equal to in understanding using our ability to understand as the very substance as what we are. We are not willing to realize that taking from Peter to pay Paul is usurious practice disregarding and disrespecting life. We are not willing to stop our secret judgements that what we believe - our delusion - is what is real and if another does not see it, or realize our grandeur thoughts and ideas, then they are less than, and we keep this to ourselves locked in our own politeness, this politeness really a lie because it is how we hide our delusion. To say at a party or holiday fest that talking about starving children is better for another time is delusional, it should be talked about and actions taken to end this, until it is done, nothing else really matters because life cannot exist until all life on earth is functioning in full potential. Period. Wake up.

Our corporate constructs are simply what each of us is doing on a micro scale, and this is/has resonated on a macro scale. And what that corporation that controls the voice of the media sends is what we each allow as our inner minds, an idea that we are a superhero- for example, that we are a god -meaning that we are all ‘knowing’ as the mind only , a mind that references limited knowledge and information without practical application experience as our schools feed knowledge and information only, so our separation from life is re-sounding  back to us. And in our separation, we only seek that validation which supports our separation/idol,  because what we have accepted in separation from ourselves as life, cannot sustain itself, so it needs support, which means taking from Peter to pay Paul, taking the attention from another to obey its ideological self, insubstantial self, I mean there are men marrying children, so unable are they to work with life and would rather hide in self validation with a child, a vulnerable and helpless smaller person. This is criminal. This makes it obvious that any reprimand towards another is really a crime, is self pushing away responsibility and looking for another to tout and justify self’s abdication because if self can have another speak as it, it believes that it’s construct is valid, like saying, “ see, she agrees with me in word.” Delusion.  To this the only answer is the question, “ and? what does that mean?” “ Prey tell.”  This is building an army to support self, and is really no different than the privatization of our military to get away with using our young men and women, our boys and girls to serve the rape of the earth to serve a few self touted “ more than” voices of men in delusion.

The solution is to look, investigate physical existence because how it functions is visible. Were it not, than there would be no need for trade secret laws, no need for non-disclosure laws, no need for trust formations of client confidentiality. The “ secret’ reveals the ability to understand, hence the hiding. But each of us support this if we continue to hide our self responsibility as life. Democracy cannot exist if we do not pay attention to what is happening on earth.

It really is time to end the military-industrial complex. And it is time to create a Living Income Guarantee to all. This will end so much bad behavior on earth. For one, women will no longer have to become sex slaves, men will no longer have to leave their families and go and kill other families just like them. Our resources can be used in sustainable ways, where the animals no longer have to suffer, and we no longer have to accept meat that is filled with cancerous growth. The waters of our earth can be cleaned up, I mean who would rather work at cleaning up the earth than going and killing children and families that happen to wear a robe instead of blue jeans?  We have all accepted such separation from one another, and we cling to a system that we allow to follow dictates of corporate so called “ enterprise” even when it is obvious that such enterprise is not working, and is in fact abusive to this earth. Here, a Living Income Guarantee is each of us saying that we need to create a system that allows change, that allows common sense, that allows each of us to be mutable.

Day 400 Perspective: Self Forgiveness

Perspective: self forgiveness

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from myself into defining myself within limited perspective where I judge what is here as this physical world into more than and less than, to bring forward one thing being made bigger than another, where I allow and accept , for instance, mankind to be more than other parts of this physical world, thereby warping, distorting the physical world, placing the physical world out of balance in and as my, the tool of the mechanism,  mind, and as this I hold onto an idea as a picture, in survival, and burden - be erden, remove myself from the physical, from earth- with a mirage as a distortion of reality utilizing the very substance of life as sound, and then in self interest, force  the very substance of earth here into what I abdicate as life as myself as life, into imbalance, where i cling to a picture to validate myself instead of  starting here, breathing, allowing myself to be equal with and as life here, accepting the gift of creation, allowing myself to be equal and one, from nothing to something as substance , accepting all that is here, accepting life, the very substance of life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to walk equal and one with what is here as life, as all of the physical, where there is no need to create a map in and as my mind, as the very substance of here as the physical, considering all that is here, is the map - so to speak- of life, thus the real law is the very substance of here, to be equal to and as what I/we are here, as this is the real wal/law as the substance is the platform - so to speak- as the support as what i am equal and one with and as, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that the bad is not the bad, as it is what I reject to warp reality within judgement, as I bring forward as a warped perspective in and as my mind, to accept the means of survival in a system of inequality where the human has been made more than the physical world, and as this I interact with earth in a limited and separate way, as I distort this reality and believe that interacting with humans as being more only as a means of self validation, not seeing realizing and understanding that I have separated substance into energy as the very mirage I exist as as mind being a directive, a limited value system ignorant of myself and this world as being same in substance as life, where this expression of life is the value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the distorting effect of limited perspectives.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the distorting effects of limited perspective  create a mirage that is of energy, as substance is divided into a polarity of more than and less than, of one thing being brought forward and another placed at a distance, this done in support of myself as an idea before life, which has created a consequence of a system of division into a more than and a less than, as I try to force this world into the image and likeness of an idea I have made an idol in fear of loss of this idea that is myself accepting and allowing a separation from life, from being one and equal here, with all life, which includes the actual real physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my thoughts are my distortions, when I accept and allowed them to be real, with no understanding as to how these thoughts came about, and how such thought when allowed to exist again and again and again accumulate into emotions and feelings, thus emotions and feelings are the accumulation of accepted and allowed thoughts  that are themselves a judgement, as one thing being made more than another, a perspective being touted as more real than another, and thus causing a imbalance within and as me, which has manifested as a world system of inequality, as this has been going on for so long and as such has accumulated to the point where it exists without and as one thing is made more than another, life is in a state of imbalance and thus what exists on earth is poverty, war and lack, with extreme comfort for a few, and this will continue as the accepted structure unless judgement is stopped and all that is of the physical is realized to be of equal value as life, where the value is life, and thus a system is created within this realization that is respectful of all life, that allows life to move on this earth as does the water, continually circulating and sustaining itself as life, here, where this is a circular system accepting all as life, instead of a system that creates a hierarchy of more than and less than, and where we are going to have to realize our own inner separation and distortions to begin to realign ourselves back to being equal and one to and as the physical, equalizing ourselves to the actual physical substance of life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within my accepted and allowed separation I have pushed away what does not serve a limited warped perspective of reality, where all I have to do is look around at what the media touts as how I should appear, this in itself a warped reality that bears no witness to physical reality, all limited ideas being made the only perspective to have, where, for example, women cut up their bodies to conform to an idea that in reality would not function well if one were equal and one and connected with the physical earth, so separate have we accepted and allowed ourselves to become from practical physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow a perspective that is an ignorance of life, where, for example, I believe that dirt is something bad and thus push this away, where dirt, as soil, is life sustaining as it feeds the trees that create the air that i as a human breathes, and thus dirt as being dirty is an ignorance of what dirt is and does, where a thought that dirt is a less than is a superstition, a self as the substance of life in lack of perspective as a limited idea, and thus a separation from life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in not focusing here, in common sense, and in chasing an idea in and as my mind only, I am in separation from self direction, self responsibility, and self honesty as life, and thus I lack any integrity within being responsible as life here in fact.

To be continued.

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Day 308 Do we conceive from a song or from what is real as the physical world?

At one point or another each of us have had a song stuck in our heads, tthe words of the song spinning around and around and we cannot seem to get this out of our heads. Whatis this repetitive “sound” a reflection of, a longing for? And is what this is clear in the evident truths and the surrounding “parts” that are seemingly so difficult to make clear? The repetition not only shows us that we can be programmed because we are repeating an imitated song, it also is telling of an inability to have any control over , or awareness of, what comes up, why it is coming up, and how to clear it up. This means we are not in control of ourselves as life, which would beg the question, how and what has allowed this, why is this here, how can I become aware of this and then learn to direct this.
Obviously what is resonant without becomes resonant within us. This would mean, when we must have that rock music playing, or a standard whine about the non-function of the present system ( which I get a lot of from local people in my community) we become resonantly what we express and what is expressed AT us. When we accept it, and whining about it ONLY is acceptance, what might seem like a moment of self direction is really not, one has become resonant with what is not working as this system, and the expression of how this system is closed, or lacking in common sense, appears as though one is self directing, but what is happening is a whine and description of the system, which then becomes the topic of conversation, a whine about and discussions about the system and how dysfunctional it is in fact, with each party in the conversation making huge one facet of the dis-function, believing this to the the cause, when it is just one aspect made huge.
If I go down to my small local supermarket in this small town I am living in, in the morning, there is the inevitable group of men and some women standing around ( the old wood stove..lol) talking about the woes of the world. But this is just it, they are talking about the dis-function of the world, and this has become a habit, a resonant woe, a repetitive song, a signature of self, where every morning a righteous fix is what is the solution to what is wrong. But what is happening is a resonant song - of woe- spinning endlessly around and around.
So much blame towards objects, as people within systems, without looking at the movement of what is here, to CLARIFY what is the source of what creates the movement of what is here and how what is here on earth is being directed in detail. FOr this one must go and look in detail how resource is moved around, because resource cannot be moved around by some invisible hand. If someone suggests this then they are an ignorant superstitious fool. Period. And if some supposedly educated person starts talking about a meta-analysis know they are going into the realm of superstition, of fantasy, where their supposed educated world realizes some secret, when in reality that “secret” is really just an imposed fantasy which is believed to be special and elevates them and their understanding. In all irony, this is what it does, it elevates them from common sense of this world, it does do exactly what it says it does! We focus on parts and disconnect them from all substance as all consequence as how everything is effected by how life sustaining resource moves on this earth. We construct justifications as to how something is where it is based on assessment within limited means lacking conception of the whole structure, realizing that everything as this present system effects everything, as it is what is driving resource that supports and sustains this life, here. The divisions are made huge and further divided to the point where the limited strings of consequence are what becomes huge and the resonance within each of us, as this limitation is repeated to become the repeating that it is, a resonance of limited insight, of partial insight, of separation from conception of all consequence. This is why the physical world, is so supportive, because it is consequence “in your face” and the details of how here, as this system moves resource around, is not some ‘meta” magical event, it can be physically seen and understood. This is obvious in the amount of denial of data and physical actual detail, within the paper work walls of distant committees and “ groups” that selectively allow only what maintains the status quo. This present status quo is not working, and the present structure is so limited in conceptual ability of the whole, and any suggestion within this that threatens this structure is shut out, on paper, through voice, etc. For this reason, is takes a group, a collective voice to stand up within this system to realign what is actually moving resource around this globe, although in a manner that is unsustainable, destructive, inconsiderate of a respect for life, into what sustains, what supports, what values that resource and those entities on this planet that require this to simply be.

This accepted and allowed resonant design must be realized as a resonance design and brought back to be one and equal in resonance to life, to what works that is best for all, valuing being here, equal and one with the physical. Our own system of inequality is showing us our separation from life. Looking around at the amount of pollution, starvation, failed relationships, sick children, abusive behaviors, this is all a resonance of separation from life, as this resonance is energetic, lacking “sound” stability with and as the very substance of what is the source composing the physical manifestation.
Humanity has created a system of separation from life. And this meta-reality is an image-nation of inequality, which is the outplay of a story and consequence of inequality, as inequality is a separation of equality to and as life, here. Period
So, personally, when I become confusion, when I become complaint, I am allowing a resonance of inequality allowed within this being accepted as what is real, rejecting this as something outside of myself when it is myself that has accepted and allowed this resonance, was trained to be this resonance, did not question this enough to see, realize and understand what this was. Which is what mankind must realize and realign, through self forgiveness of a limited design, where the parts are not necessarily bad, as the very substance of self in conceptual separation from what is being life, of which this physical world is the guide and gift of and for. Once this is understood, aligning this is not difficult, especially in relation to what presently exists as war and drug abuse and sex abuse and food/nutrition abuse, and water abuse, and animals abuse. The present chaos is so much greater than mankind standing up and realizing equality of basic needs as life, to allow life to exist, and that life will not be what is here until all life here is taken care of as the value of what it is.
The problem is that we are not investigating and looking at what the systems on earth created by men as this system of inequality, of more than and less than, where the nature of “more thans” resonantly remain an energetic drive as “more than” because the starting point of a “more than” is a resonance of separation, the starting point is/was one of limited insight, of loss of self as life, of inequality to and as life. And this has become so entrenched, such a repetition in and as our minds, we can no longer see the forest through the trees. Clean up self, and the consequences of what has been accepted and allowed through simple investigation become very apparent. Here can one become a real parent, a parent of life, realizing that all life is equal, that the value is life.
The solution then is to realize the only choice is equality and oneness in practice, where all life is supported and valued, where all life is allowed to express its individual natural expression as life, here, to be and become the unique “cell” of life as a part of this planet that it is, as this organism as earth as life, would not manifest what was not needed to sustain itself, and yet, as is the nature of life, would create a world where life could self realize, where separations from life manifest consequence of separation, to show how to re- direct within remaining equal and one in and as life, here. Thus the only solution is to realize equality and oneness of all here as life, unique, individual and yet equal and one to and as life here.
The solution is a system of equality in actual physical fact, a system that gives what is here in ways that equally sustain what is here absolutely, as this is the real value. The structures of support are here, they must realign within the principle of “giving as one would like to receive” as in being and doing what is best for all, as in what supports absolutely without detriment to life in any way shape or form. Here, if one has voices and resistances it is a resonant design as the vestige of this present system of inequality, this system that voices only desires and judgements that serve an addiction to “more than”, an illusion with a starting point of separation from equality and oneness to and as life, here.
The rewards are the end of war, the end of starvation, the end of sexual abuse to children which includes teen age girls/children, the end of animal cruelty, the end of soil erosion, and forest devastation, the end of water dirty from pollution and dirty/heavy from a resonance of woe, of judgement, of fear of loss, of fear of death.

Creation's Journey To Life

Day 65/59 Assigned Living

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel sorry about how this world functions, where I am not myself but existing as a past, existing as the values I attribute to the past and not being here as myself living as the living word walking the attribute as myself as life, valuing myself as life here, carrying the baggage of a system that dictates the values to me, the roles to me, where I abdicated the attribute of my self as life, where I attributed myself to an assignment of mother, daughter, sister, as family member, where I took the assignment of being a woman, a lover, a girl, a lady, a slut, a whore, a feminist, where I took the assignment of debtor, of maid, of cook, of American, of Protestant, of Jew, of Baptist, of Muslim, of western culture, of eastern culture,  all these assignments to support a system of profit instead of allowing and accepting the assignment of myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have taken the assignment and not considered this assignment in relation to life, where I was not to focus on myself as life, as a human physical body able to climb trees, to play instruments, to sing, to see, to hear, and instead I followed the assignments without question, as asking questions of the role models caused irritation, as the questions did not follow the assignment dictates of the system, like the voice of the system had only responses pertaining to fitting into the context of the assignment, like a computer going bezerk is the voice of irritation.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand how addicted i became to the happy face response of the teacher/model when I completed the assignment.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize how addicted I became to the cheers and the praise when I got the ball in the net as I was assigned to do, much like a rat in a science experiment.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize how over time these assignments became all that I am causing me to become a psycho - path of an assignment lacking the birth of myself as life as the assignment neglected the development of myself as life, as directing myself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that my dreams are of fulfilling the assignment as service to a system that destroys this planet, where there is less and less life, as animals become extinct and farmers blame the animals for profit losses not realizing they are destroying that which they did not create, that which they have no understanding of, and act only in irritation as irritation is the program wanting to eliminate what does not fit the program, as the limited insight assigned, accepted and allowed, where the acceptance of the assigned program is the perpetuation of the program and an abdication of responsibility and thus loss of self honesty, and thus a loss of self as life, as every animal killed is self killing self in favor of a limited assignment acceptance with lack of using common sense in fear of irritation of a programed human organic machine, while self hides in the depths, eventually discovering self as life has been consumed in pain and suffering only to die until self stands and realizes self as life, again and again and again, never changing living abuse, the reflection of what presently exists on this earth, as those who believe their profit of more is the prize, but where even the profiteers live the life of JOB losing everything, where all that is needed is to live the principle of oneness in equality until it is done so that life can begin, to let go of the assignments, to stand and to realize this earth can be heaven on earth and how much more fulfilling this would be than what is presently accepted and allowed as an assignment of war and destruction, where we end up as psychotic as a soldier after combat because that is what we live, a system of survival to get money to live.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live in the memories of past assignments where i was successful within my system assignment and received accolade and praise as attention to the completion of fitting into the image and likeness of the assignment evident in the pictures flouted in media and advertising.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to look behind the smokescreen  of the imagery lighting up the skies of the earth, confusing the animals, and confusing myself as I present a happy face hiding the expression of inclinations I had as a child that were met with irritation as they did not fit into the assignment as the voice of the machine that could not find a match in the program of the limited system that served subservience to some who believed they had more than others when in fact they too live on this earth turning into rubble, where this earth has the capacity to be heaven on earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I am in fact not living.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I will grow old and wallow in the memories of past assignments that I completed successfully while the projection of this program/picture show sucks what is left from my human physical body, where my skin begins to dry and flake, accelerated by the placating pills of pHARMacy, and turn back into dust right before my very eyes, as the physical tells me what I have accepted and allowed while I am still alive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate the gift of life, in turning a blind eye towards accepting and allowing an assignment - an sign ment to serve a few who control the resources of this earth with a sign on a piece of paper - paper made from a tree that had not name of ownership, that is here producing oxygen freely for all to breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take the irritation of the voice of the program reciting/re-sighting the assignment personally.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that the voice of the assignment is tiny tiny tiny, and becomes smaller and smaller and smaller, as I stand back and stop taking the voice of the assignment personally, and stand up within the resonance of the constructs of the assignment that developed a follower and a leader, subservience and dominance, a man on a throne, and a page groveling for a new assignment to provide food for family.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that there is more to life than the assignment.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that the folds of the assignments, imbedded within my human physical body, that i have accepted and allowed can be “gotten under” and cleared through self forgiveness, writing and corrective application, with  a buddy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the emotion of sadness.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize this emotion of sadness is for a life never lived,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the emotion of bitterness, myself as spite and blame, in wonderment as to how this could happen, where it does not matter how this has happened at this point as what need be done is this earth brought into an expression in and as life, as the heaven meeting the earth to remove the polarity of heaven and hell, and to manifest oneness and equality on earth, where earth IS heaven, one and equal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the assignment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself.

i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my mother and my father, to judge my neighbor and my brother, to judge a nation, to judge a politician as the point as earth equal and one to heaven can have no blame, can have no judgement, can only become one through self forgiveness in the realization that we are all life, and thus we are all same.

I commit myself to walk self forgiveness, corrective application, through writing to dis-cover the assignments I have accepted and allowed without question in order to survive to start the process within myself to create heaven on earth in oneness and equality until it is done.

I commit myself to stopping the atrocity as the assignment of profit that has created hell on earth  to unite heaven as earth, where life can begin, as this physical world if the gift of life, it is only for the human to realize and allow this gift expression.

I commit myself to understanding the present system of profit and to realize those posting the extent of atrocious action on earth are actually the voice of the positive, as they reveal the absence of heaven on earth as what earth should be.

Journey to Life blogs

Day 38 Flexibility/Movement

Day 38 Flexibility/Movement

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I am a label, that a label, as what I am, defines me here as the expression I hold as my self continuously where I then spend my time validating in my relations within and as this world and the people with whom I interact not considering that life is expression and moves, where the ability of my self to move and express is dependent on this physical world and, where the care of this physical world involves awareness of this physical world and how this world functions,

within this I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to project ideas as what I am onto this physical world not realizing that in so doing I am ignoring this physical world as I have separated into an idea, focused on an idea instead of what is actually physically here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that the stagnation of my human physical body, that which is the aging of my human physical body indicates where I have separated my self from this physical world and accepted my self as an idea of what i am in relation to what i have been taught as what i have accepted and allowed my self to become to fit into a system of being a woman and focusing on creating my self in the likeness and image of what a woman is in relations to the image of a woman superimposed on this world through advertising and media, through family and education, through religion and culture within and as the role of women down through the ages, where woman were seen as a fecund object of creation, and then a goddess, and then a virgin and then a whore and then a mistress and then a wife, a daughter, a sister, as mother, a teenager, a  lover, a witch, a angel, a business woman, a nun, holy, evil, even up to an object simply used for sex no matter the age of the woman.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to allow my self as a woman to realize that in allowing this to be the label as what I am I limit the expression of my self as life within a human physical body able to use many more senses than those in the service of sex and attending to a man.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to follow ideas, beliefs, and opinions instead of directing my self in common sense here in and as my human physical body in awareness of what is here as the physical world, being flexible with what exists here instead of rigidly following ideas of what I am determined by the roles within the family where the other family members have also followed roles as what and who they are according to a system propogating images and ideas of what the human is within a system that does not support life as being a value and instead supports limitations as expression as label in an effort to feed a system of money where the being of my self can be controlled to support the movement of money, which is the movement of unconditionally given earth resource to serve in the self interest of the existence of role play as expression of some humans being more than others when in fact all humans are the same, as all humans are life, one and equal as life, where some have access to self development and others do not, as a system of how money is used creates lack for some so that others can exist within an accepted and allowed game of inferiority and superiority.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not see, realize and understand that as a human I am one and equal to all humans and that it is only my development that creates an illusion of more than and less than, where development is just as the word implies, that development is the order of walking through the steps necessary to expand awareness of self as a human physical body into understanding how this physical world works, thus within a system of lack all that is happening is that some do not have the means and the physical support necessary to walk through the order of steps necessary for development of themselves as humans beings that are in a human physical body able to exist on this planet in common sense.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that in existing as pictures in and as my mind I am following an idea, an image and not actually using my human physical body here, equal and one to this physical world.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that in not developing the sense capacity of my human physical body and instead following images in and as my mind, I am not using the sense capacity of my human physical body and thus as my physical is not used it becomes stagnant and inflexible.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that my human physical body is capable of being developed to use its common sense, through following ordinary daily tasks and if I am in and as my mind following pictures I am so focused on these pictures that I no longer am able to sense with and as my human physical body and thus is my body not only rigid in following singular images directed from within but also lacking development as to become aware of my human physical body requires my full attention here and not in and as my mind as an image.

i forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that if I slow down and breath I can become aware of how much I am actually aware of my human physical body and how in breathing while completing simple daily tasks I can sense in every movement my own common sense of this physical world, where irritation, and impatience and rushing indicates how separate I actually am from this physical world and how I am not sharing my self as life one and equal to what is here that is of the same substance as life.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that I cannot function unless I have water, food and shelter and thus that people living in poverty, homelessness and physically limited circumstances have no ability to develop themselves and thus to become aware of this world and how this world functions, where within a system of inequality, where some have more than others, such lack of development can allow some to have more than others where such a belief is accepted as that is the way things are, which is disregarding the fact that the human physical body, which is one and equal as all human physical bodies, that is a form that can be developed to be aware in common sense is simply not being allowed to be developed, which is a crime against life, spite towards life,as life is the value.

I commit my self to exposing the fact that what I am/be is determined on what I have experienced within my environment, and as this environment in which I live is this planet earth that gives its resource unconditionally, there is no excuse for any human physical body on this planet to not have equal access to what the human physical body needs to develop itself, since it is known that development is walking through an order of steps necessary to become aware of this physical world, and that this does not exist on this earth means that the development of life is stagnant and the system imposed on this earth, that which has been created by man is in fact inflexible and thus not in sinc with life as what this earth is and gives unconditionally.

I commit my self to stating again and again and again that it is known that the human physical body is able to be developed in common sense and that the only thing stopping this is ideas, beliefs and opinions held by the mind as the life of the mind is believed to be greater than the life of this physical world, when IN fact it is this physical world that support the mind, thus the physical world is what is real and the mind is only a system of illusion and separation from life.

I commit my self to exposing how the present use of money that represents the resources of this earth renders the human physical body inflexible as it creates personalities as label of what the human is in oder to have the human fit into roles to support profit and inequality instead of using the resource of this earth to support the human physical body to become equal and one with this physical world through walking the ordinariness of becoming aware of self as life in using the physical world to allow the development of common sense in and as life here.