Day 53 Rejection and expectation are Image Nation

Day 53 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I have been rejected by friends, by people that I have known throughout my life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  feel that I have too much to do.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  feel bitter within the very muscles of my face, the raw red devil of my self behind the mask of a human face, to believe that no one listens to me, to not realize that the present system of profit, accepted and allowed by the human, as it is what is within each of us, as fear defended as ego in fear of loss, that the very being of ourselves as this is so entrenched that each of us can no longer hear, can no longer see that all perceived hurts and losses are the “what is due” allowance of non self direction as life, of clinging to directives from without, of believing something of ourselves can be lost, of expecting something without to take care of us, when it is only ourselves as life that is the care built right in, a perfect instrument of life, rejected, thus all rejection is self rejection, where the solution is to self realize self as life and forgive the accepted and allowed resonances of blame, spite, justification, excuse,  and to clean this up within to begin the walk of cleaning up this system on earth that does not care for, hear, see, sense, what this earth is, as what this earth gives, the gift of life, as this is the value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to save the world, without realizing that until all ability to stand through a constriction of dis-ease within my self is steady and constant, where I carry no blame, no shame, no excuse, no justification, no spite to and towards anything of this world as this world is me, the same.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel it is impossible to reach people, as I feel it is impossible to reach myself, all an illusion, as what this means is that I am stagnant within blame, spite, excuse, shame, humiliation, self judgement, and within this I hear only this cry as the mind that has embedded itself into my physical so long was my cry of self pity, that I can no longer hear my self as life to the point where I am separate from myself as a turning from myself the embrace of myself as what I am, dis-allowing this self embrace as life, here, constant, steady, where self embrace is.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame people as system for not hearing myself here, when it is me that is not hearing what is here, it is myself not hearing, as I am moving as ego, as energy wanting to win something.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that all the people who turned from me were turning towards what they believed would be of support to them within a system where money determines existence instead of the value as what is here being life, and within this life is not granted expression and development but the following of what is offered within presented lack to create fear where all are indentured to subservience to systems of limited design, drugs that do not cure, to animals in confinement and suffering, to education systems that place children in a chair for hours taking in information without any practical inclusive use of their gift as a human physical body, to sense, to see, to experience physically this world, where the very soils of this earth lose what allows the soil to breath - clean water, microorganisms, decaying plant matter, air, all working in tandem to support life, where the outflow of this is a sound on this earth in constant broadcast which must be heard and faced and realized as needing to change to end the grind of useless inactive life expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  blame others for wanting to survive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  place blame onto myself and any other, when all there is , is to remain here in breath as myself , to walk the clean up of this earth, which means the clean up of my self of resonances of blame, spite, excuse,  accusation, insecurity, superiority, more than, less than, dreaming, imagining, all a reality separate from what is physically here as the gift as a tool of expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have ever been hurt by another, that I have ever been rejected by another, that I needed to add on a persona presentation to fit into the group separate from common sense of what is practical in this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to defend in the face of opposition instead of standing in common sense whether heard or not heard, where if spite and accusation is response than it is simply that common sense is effective and the mind resists, as it is not the label of gain sought but the constant as common sense as what is best for all that is passed on, until it is done, as what is best for all will not manifest until it is passed on, thus what is best for all is all that is to be voiced, as I as life cannot be life until what is best for all is manifest on this earth, thus does the orchestration of what is best for all begin, the voice in the darkness of that which is best for all as this is here, as this is what the human wants, as the life that is here must itself create, and thus is the voice, yet weak and small, beginning to speak as life, where this voice will only manifest through speaking and living this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize, every time I doubt, that this doubt is the cause of what is on this earth, that this doubt is separation from life, as this doubt will generate fear as it is in opposition to life, just as when I face opposition and doubt, where I fear separation from what is before me, not looking at what is before me and in common sense using the principle of what is best for all, where the conflict is in itself in separation from agreement and action as what is best for all, and it must be known that there are no choices but what is best for all.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see realize and understand that should I look, I will find a hole within my heart, a hole self created and accepted and allowed as I have become stagnant within my self in abdication of life, where this hole lies the whole of life, when this hole is the path to the whole, the being of myself as one and equal to life, this embrace of giving, this heart I am lead to believe is fixed/cured with chemicals within a system of profit that needs followers to allow leaders as profiteers who themselves are not life, as they are as tied to me as I am to them as I accept and allow a system ignorant of the giving abundance of earth, the physical,  a cure that has not in fact been found as the form allowed and accepted on earth is tantamount as the present destruction of earth reveals, as disease can only be cured by self thus must laws be passed to force the opposite as though words are abused/used to guard falsity when such structures need not exist as the earth is here giving freely without signature, as signature is a creation of man in separation, having lost a sense of the whole, and thus attempting to fill in the lost hole of self with structures that have no substance and must be printed endlessly to survive.

I commit myself to breath, to breathing to pushing through resistances.

I commit myself to slowing down my breath and giving response only within a steady calm breath.

I commit myself to  realizing that all anger is based on a belief as an expectation of a persona based on accepted societal values and structures that are inadequate in allowing self direction and thus self discovery of this physical world and the expression of self as life, within this the letting go of the anger as persona management is a habitual justification accepted and allowed as what is real, yet absent in awareness of this earth and self as a directive as life.

I commit myself to remaining within breath in the face of expectations that are themselves in separation from life,

I commit myself to breathing through anxiety, as anxiety is based on expectation within habitual personnel developed in separation from life as a starting point.

I commit myself to walking as self as life, as realizing this physical world as what is real and one and equal to myself here, where there need be no anger as the physical is the embrace of life.

I commit myself to speak up about the atrocity of the abuse of earth existent as the present money system of profit where money accumulation is valued more than life, and within this, denies the equality and oneness of men - and all subject to men’s imposition - to this physical world of substance, that which in fact is the expression of life, here.

I commit myself to realize expectation is a mind dream, and thus a separation from what is physically here.

I commit myself to realize that, as a child, many expectations were driven into myself, leading to a separation from the physical world and a search to fulfil and complement imposed expectations

 instead of developing self direction, equality, expression in and as the physical world.

Life Review

Energy and money

Day 52 Opposition

I was in a store today to buy a product i have bought many times. The sales people denied this product ever being there, and said there was not even a slot for this product. For a moment I went into fear, as thought there was something wrong with me, maybe I was in the wrong place, even thought I had empty product bottles at home. I realize at this moment how the mind can lead one to doubt, everyone around you saying something does not exist and you know it does.

This has happened to me before, and I go into confusion.  Absolute fear/doubt.

Interesting, I play the damsel in distress, as one of my first memories of interacting with my father. I keep thinking that I had been scared by something, an object - like a snapping turtle in the yard or something - yet here, this fear has to do with feeling like I am not relating to the people around me, they are saying the opposite of what I am saying in the face of my own certainty, where I know it is just a misunderstanding. These sales people would instantly recognize what I was talking about if they saw this product, as it has been in this store. Of this I am certain. I did not become frustrated, I realized I had to show them, and in that moment I could not, but this would be cleared so I let it go.

In high school there was a state test I had to pass in tenth grade to graduate. I passed. The next year they said I had to take this again. I wondered. Junior year the NYC school system said I had to take this test again. I did not. I dod not go. I did not want to beef up the numbers for the NYC public schools, this was hiding what was really going on in the schools - not that my act did anything because it did not- but the fear I experienced in not taking the test, where my friends were saying I was going to get into trouble ( which was true, but that I was one, it did nothing and I did not face trouble) was strong, that same fear, that shaking in not following. This was the same feeling that came up when the store sales people were telling me I was mistaken and that the product I wanted had never been in this store.

Intense pain within the side of my left ribcage as I write this!

Is this pride that I did not take this test, or is this standing towards, opposition without righteous reaction, where it is not the opposition but the reaction to opposition as in standing firm in opposition, calmly and humbly, without self pity in believing myself to be misunderstood. Such opposition need not have any emotion.

Not taking the test in high school did nothing, and even a group would have caused problems, or simply been dismissed that year, and the entire system that supports the manipulation of test scores must be looked at and stopped.

Restating that a product did exist and proving this in the immediate face of opposition, even when looking in the computer, was not going to change the moment, these sales people needed to see the product, of which I had an empty bottle at home, so I would bring this in, or they would realize at another time, suddenly, what I was talking about.

So within standing up to opposition, it is simply to review what I know express this and clear up the misunderstanding, any emotion or “wanting to win’ is not going to work.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear opposition.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the sales people were probably in fear of making a mistake.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I can look at what is here and explain myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear opposing others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to at times go into frustration and anger as reaction to such situations, as I believe what I am saying is obvious, when as what the people around me are within, wether they have never thought about what exists and only fear not being agreeable or really, within a moment have become completely blank about something, where anger and righteous fear will not remember that person to what is physically real, where anger will only breed more frustration and righteousness instead of clarity.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to realize that standing within stubborn persistence is also not a solution, as though my stubborn emotion of persistence has some magical quality, where what is needed is actual proof, and this within the given moment is not readily available and thus within my self I must simply stop until evidence is available.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within opposition.

I commit my self to breathing, to standing and stopping within a situation of opposition , where I look at what is common sensibly here and review what I am within opposition.

I commit my self to trusting my self in the face of opposition, to stand in common sense, with humility and care, as there are times when I believe I “know” when in fact I will not.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to resist writing this, as I am becoming very tired, and want to shut my eyes and go to sleep.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am tired.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel lethargic and to think about doing something else at this moment.

i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see opposition as criticism of myself instead of looking at what exists in common sense and placing myself in the moment, within slowing down my breath, to place mywelf within breath and remaining here - interesting that I wrote mywelf which is mywealth?

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize my wealth is myself within breath in common sense, saying no to the mind entering a gloom and doom and fear stance of self doubt instead of using the tools of breath and grounding myself within the wealth of myself as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize with every breath that what is real is myself within breath in the physical, that this is being and not an idea in my mind that presents a fear of loss thought and emotion and feeling as being separate from opposition, when I am not separate from opposition,, opposition is another insight that will become agreement or reveal to myself insight lacked, where any emotion is separation as emotion cannot be directive as it is separation from the whole and unstable in nature.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see opposition as a burden.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow opposition to become a burden, where opposition means denying another when in fact opposition is merely looking at what is here , in and as breath, and using common sense, and thus facing opposition is neither a burden or a threat of loss.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that should i not agree with opposition something will be lost.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that life is an expression, and thus, believing what is here to be in opposition is not to realize the ability of life, within and without to transcend accepted and allowed limited beliefs, opinions and ideas as what has been accepted and allowed.

I commit myself to breath, to the wealth of this physical world as my human physical body in breath.

I commit myself to  seeing opposition as one and equal to me.

I commit myself to stop myself from placing opposition as a burden to myself.

I commit myself to realizing the substance of life, built of clay is able to transform.

I commit myself to realizing that this ability to see opposition in transformation to agreement as all as one as equal will bring about heaven on earth.

i commit myself to practicing equality and oneness in and as breath to equalize myself with life, this physical world and to enable others to be the value, life, through supporting a system that supports all life, an equal money system, to change opposition from conflict to transformation.

I commit myself for realizing confusion is a personality of fear of loss, of belief in loss, which cannot exist as I am in fact life here one an equal to all that exists.

Breath

Wanting to be agreeable is an addiction, is sex the same?

Day 51 Staged acts are defense.

Day 51 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame, to place blame onto objects outside of myself, where if I look at myself as blame, I realize that my blame is emotional and not considering the totality of existence on earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that when I blame I am not really looking at what has been allowed on earth within a system that actually writes laws that say a corporation must make a profit and that in order for a corporation to make a profit it must divide and control the physical resources of this earth, and to do so, must take control of the resources and create scenarios where this resource is either limited or available in oder to control the behavior of, what in essence is also being used as a resource, the human.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to question that there need be a law that states that profits must be made, as this is in contra-diction to what it is that I as a human, a physical body here on this earth is in fact, as the physical earth gives without a signature of ownership and the ability to work in such a way that many expressions of life are able to exist, thus a system of profit is alien to this physical world, separate from consideration of this physical world, and in this ignorance, abuses and misuses this physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the G20 riots in Canada, where police were hired to create a drama of violent social unrest, lighting police cars on fire and then not sending in the fire trucks to put out the fires - to enable a dramatic propaganda story to be broadcast by a media paid for and bought by the very system that used taxed humans to continue a system of law stated profit before life system, to justify attacking humans who were protesting peaceably, where the human does not realize that protest is blame and thus inaction, as the profit driven system of control has developed a structure to impose the division of what supports life, to provide for a few over the many, and thus it is the structure that must be stood up within in oder to change what exists.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that it will take many to stand together where not one can become a Judas and fear a voice of tyranny and must have an absolute understanding of tyranny in order to be able to stand in clarity before a story that is limited by design as it does not consider all that is of this physical world, and is so locked into itself as an idea that it can no longer see what is actually here as life, and were all that profited most from a system of inequality to realize themselves as life, nothing else but equality would become the choice of life on earth, thus is this system of inequality not to fear, only to reform, to reorder into and as what is best for all.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see that hiring actors to enact violent protest within a calm demonstration is an act of defense by a system to maintain control, and thus this same practice exists within charitable acts throughout the world where any charity “enacted” has not in fact stopped the need for charity, making it clear that charitable acts are staged and merely a dramatic affect that is an act of defense with a happy face to support the structure of profit for the few, which is not in fact life, as defensive action is neither life expression on a micro scale or a macro scale, thus are those that profit most within a system of inequality a mirror of the individual mind consciousness system within each and every human being.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that until life is what is supported on this earth as the value, as that which all that is here is one and equal to, and stood up within and as this, the resources of this earth will continue to be abused and misused, enslaved to the law accepted by each and every human being, that profit must be made, not realizing the profit is life, where this system of profit as law was voted in by the people, and thus it is the people who must stand and reorganize this world to be aligned with this freely giving earth to support life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not see that blame is being unclear.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that in order for me to withstand blame I must realize all blame I have accepted and allowed within myself.

I commit myself to remaining here in breath, to catch the habit of blame within and as myself, where I realize I am in separation from myself as life, as directing myself as what is best for all, and allowing myself to abdicate myself responsibility as life through making myself lame, as being less than, myself as life, as being a directive of what is best for all, as the living word of equal consideration for all life, steadfast in being aware that nothing can be lost as I am life.

I commit myself to stop blame towards family, towards the education I lack or believe is incomplete for what ever reasons, towards the existential system of profit, towards the behaviors of the human, as this blame has no movement towards resolution and is simply name calling and thus, defense from standing and facing what is actually here.

I commit myself to realize that I have been told all my life that I have no power to change what exists, and to stop within this and realize that a system of inequality would naturally teach, through repetition -via media ; television/books/periodicals/education,and thus those that came before myself, such as family and all my friends - that I as a human cannot change as my “human nature” is “ this or that”  and within this is this is what I hear all my life it would become the norm and the change from this would be difficult as it has been believed for many generations.

I commit myself to realize that it will take a process to reorder what the human has allowed as a system of inequality that is manifest as a system of profit, but that the tools are here to support this change, self forgiveness - to resound the very resonance within myself, writing to place before me what I have accepted and allowed as the behaviors propagated by a system of inequality to maintain itself, and corrective application - to place into statement as the sounding of myself as equal and one to all that is of this physical existence, in order to begin to realize heaven on earth.

I commit myself to look at the emotional tenure of myself and to begin with self forgiveness as this and to stick with this for two months consistently where I will realize what i have existed as as this will be released and thus will I begin to see how much I am in fact an organic robot existing in separation as an energetic entity, where what consumes me and limits me will begin to be seen for what it in fact is, a limited expression of myself here creating stagnation within myself.

I commit myself to realizing there is nothing else but to stand and change the system of men on this earth, that there is no time for blame or spite, as these “being” of myself here will not change what has been accepted and allowed, thus all that exists is to use the self as life to stand and be the creation of life that is this physical world and to change this world to a system that supports life, as life is the value in implementing what is here into a system where one gives and one would like to receive, the voice of equality, the expression of life.

Understand the unconscious mind and the system of money/profit that has been accepted and allowed on earth.

Equal Money

Day 50 Woe/Owe

Day 50 Woe/Owe

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  feel I owe and within this create my own woe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as woe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to be the emotion of woe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe in this emotion of woe where I owe a correction to something or someone, where in being this owe/woe I am in fact no longer allowing my self as life, here, as owe and woe are based on past events, and I allow the past, I allow judgement and excuse and belief and opinion as what I have learned as the persona, the stopping of a continuum as myself as life, here, one and equal, in and as lie instead of life, where I lie within and as the past and stop myself from existing here based on morality of adherence, adding to here, accepted behaviors that maintain a fixed regimen of roles to support the survival of specific structures taught and accepted to uphold the mold within a system of profit.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the behavioral mold of myself as persona, a collection of storied events from my past, that I have allowed to define myself here, behaviors recited through the cry of blame and shame, fear and loss, desire for gain and meaning in a world where life is not considered, where what is paramount is profit to buy defense through objects of definition that clutter life and limit  an expanding continuum of self expression as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear loss, as nothing can be lost, only the burdens removed as stagnant idea, belief and opinion, to realize these defenses held are a stubborn resistance to self as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am of no name, and of all names.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize meaning is within no meaning, as life is the value, as having the meaning, so no meaning need be sought as it is here as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see and realize that what is owed is to relinquish woe, as loss is the illusion, as it is the belief in loss that is the separtion from allowing self as life to continue.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that validation from without can exist in a world of fear, as this earth, where the game is survival as this is the sight of fear in separation and fear of self as life, thus can I only become self trust as life within the principle of oneness in equality, as what is best for all, is giving as one would like to receive to stop the madness, as anger, as fear, as what exists on this earth within a system that is the structure of survival and competition as what this earth has freely given is imprisoned within a system of inequality, such riding on a belief of lack as this continues a fear of no gain, no life, a perpetual motion, of infinite design.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have been hurt when the hurt is the separation from my self as life, into a persona, as the dramatics of a character, as this is what is learned and accepted by each and every human on this earth in separation from earth, from the physical world whose image and likeness is to give as you would like to receive, thus was it I, as each and every one of us, who accepted and allowed the models of profit instead of the model of life as what supports myself here, the physical world.

I commit my self to realizing that I am responsible for myself only in being my self as life, as I cannot be the life for another, as the other is life and must be life for themselves, where I, in being my self here as what I am as life, is the directive to realize the emotions, thought and feelings of others is themselves caught in self seeking definition, as though a definition defines, looking for a constant when the constant is being life itself, as self.

I commit my self to believing I carry the burdens of others, as I cannot carry what is accepted and allowed and carried by another, especially since the burden is a separation of self in an infinite loop.

I commit myself  to remaining here in breath, to realize my own separations into and as fear.

The infinity secret, consciousness  as the light and the dark.

Day 49 In-no-sense common sense

Day 49  In-no-sense common sense

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry when I see abuse in this world, this angry righteousness, as though I am not responsible for acts that are abusive to this planet and all that exists on this earth, when, as a human I am either directly or indirectly involved as I have participated in this world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in being here in this world, on this earth, in order to survive, I have participated within the current system, and thus have supported this system.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I have no awareness of how I came to be on this earth, so I cannot say that anything that is of this earth, that I am not directly involved in, does not have anything to do with myself, when the fact is that I am here and a part of this earth, within this I am responsible for what is here and what I participate within, so it is my responsibility to understand how this earth works, how this physical world works, especially when it is obvious that disease and abuse exist, and have continued to exist even though there are systems created and developed by humans that have not in fact cured disease, provided clean drinking water for all of this earth, taught children to become adults who can control themselves and develop into self perfected expressions of life on this planet, and that this is a clear indication that what is here on this earth is in fact not working and needs to be understood by each and every human being on this earth until there is no longer disease, and abuse to this physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to realize, very clearly within myself, that the moment I am righteous about anything that I learn about this planet that is unacceptable, my righteousness does absolutely nothing to solve the unacceptable conditions on this earth, as righteousness has been the behavior of the human, in and as an act of blame and justification, spite and excuse and has not stopped what is unacceptable on this earth, thus this act of righteous behavior within my self is in fact not a solution, as blame is not self being a direction towards a change of practice on this earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to exist as a desire to want to blame other humans for behaviors of abuse, without understanding the nature and structure of the present system created by the hands of humans.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that young children have a very different set of behaviors than that of an adult in our society, which makes it clear that what the adult becomes is a behavior different than that of a child.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to stop and breath when I feel my self becoming righteous, as this is not a solution, it is only my self existing as fear and separation from understanding the totality of what has been accepted on this earth.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop and question the fact that I have allowed systems outside of myself to tell me how i should be, especially about my health, my education and my beliefs, and as I have done this, how can I possibly think I could raise a child when I have in fact abdicated my directives to a system that tells me that I need drugs to cure my self, that I need to go through an education system that has not in fact developed children to their full potential, especially when there are children that never even make it to school as they starve before this opportunity even comes into play.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that in order for this system, this system that has not allowed an environment absent of war and abuse, to change, it will take the removal of inequality, and the reordering of how resources are used, that have been given freely by this earth, to support what this earth is in value, which is life, within this, re-ordering this earth involves becoming aware of how this system works, and then the steps, the order of steps,  must be walked consistently, by many, to stand and restructure the very formation as our present system , to reform what is here into what will be best for all, into what supports what is here to become one and equal to the freely given resource that is this physical earth.

I commit my self to stop any and all feeling and reactions as righteousness within myself as this being of myself within as anger as righteousness is my self in frustration and fear, constriction and b(e)lame, where I no longer look at the consequences of a system of inequality and realize that what I am facing within and without are behaviors programmed through parents - the sins of the fathers- and the desire for profit and control - to maintain the profits of a few - that is the nature of the propagation of a fear of loss/ fear of survival.

I see realize and understand that the human, and myself, have not been taught to be life, but to be ignorant slaves within a system that must have ignorance in order to exist within what is presently allowed and accepted, created and maintained by a human, that is in contradiction to the nature of a freely giving earth that exists right under the very feet of the human and the system created/ordered/developed/maintained and upheld through those humans directing through control of paper money representing resource- freely given.

I commit my self to understand the order of what is imposed on this earth by the human, an order that is in contradiction to that which I am and that supports me, as this physical earth, where it is my responsibility to understand the human orders broadcast on this earth as that which is in contradiction to the abundance of this physical supportive world, and walk and direct my self in every moment as what is best for all, as I am life, and as life I am not innocence/in no sense, as I am one and equal to this world as life, and thus am I common sense, where this that I am as I am physical as is this earth has obviously been told by systems of control that I am innocence/in no sense, which if I look at how a tree - for example- works symbiotically with nature is in abundance as life as it is, this tree, in common sense and giving of itself freely - providing unconditionally as it has no signature of ownership, its only signature is of being in tandem with common sense of earth. Within this, I have separated my self  as a human, as a humpty dumpty - as I the human, tell my self what I am in the stories I write that reflect myself to myself as this is how the mind works, must bring my self back from innocence/in no sense into and as common sense where my human physical body tells me the way to put my self back together, where I have the tools of self forgiveness, writing and corrective application to re order myself in common sense with this physical world.

I commit myself removing the behavioral contra-diction in-no-sense as self interest as profit-survival game through breathing, writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application, re-placing my self as life, sound and stable as common sense.

Day 49: The Quantum Flesh

The story of Life

The story of SEX

Day 48 Personality: the NO-I-SE-e self sound.

Day 48 My Personality: the NO-I-SE-e self sound.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to define myself according to relationships,where the relation to something defines who and what I am, to the point where I feel that losing that relation means the end of my self here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear being single which is a belief that I am somehow less than another because I am single, where the word single means, within this culture, that I am “available” and that I am alone as though I am not my self unless I have a relation to another person, as in being in a relationship.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to allow relationships to be an indicator of what I am, instead of realizing that it is how I direct my self in every moment that determines my self here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to cling to relationships in fear that something could be lost, when it is the being of my self here, as how I am within what I do, as in the being of my self here that signifies my self as an expression of life, as this is what I am, and that I am life and all that is here is life requires no relationship as I am here, thus it is the very being here as my self that is, no relationships needed as defining who and what and how I am, so the expression of my self here varies and is determined by the environment, where this earth is the environment, and thus how this earth is organized determines the expression of me as what I am, which is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my furniture to define who and what I am, where should I lose my furniture/house,  something of my self would be lost, yet this furniture/house cannot define, be what is the value, as the value of my self is life, where if I possess - meaning own- and defend what furniture I have I become a defender of furniture, as possessor of furniture/house as the expression of my self, where all that I allow my self to exist as is the defense of possessions.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that this being of my self as possessive of things separate from me to define me is in fact myself not being here and living, and within this to realize that the present system on earth is a reflection of what I as within have accepted and allowed, where I am caught in a trap as what i have allowed within, to exist in a system where I require an education to get money and cloak my self in certain objects in order to maintain a place within a hierarchy in order to survive, and were I to be born in a country of great resource, where the resource was desired by those only considering their own survival to the point where the resource was possessed through signature and the people who lived on this land were then swept away and denied support, I would be living this existence of being ignored and pushed away as the earth beneath my feet was possessed by the possessed who only saw their nature as possession as a belief in a need of something to survive and define as relationship, where the real relationship was with self as life, where self as life realized that all that was here was life, meant to support self as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that expression cannot exist between two people when the directive is to create a relationship as self creation definition according to survival within a system that demands being in possession of the projecting of oneself in terms of a limited outlined structure within a game of survival, within this to realize that the being of self within this limited form/structure possesses self to the point where this is what is the director and the thing chased, instead of the self realizing self as life, being supported by the physical to express self as life, which is why disease exists and why disease has not been removed from this earth, as the limited form of profit is the reflection of self abdication as life.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that the design of my survival suit, a collection of believed needed relationships as self definition, are the grid that I follow and adhere to, am possessed by, and am diminished by, as this grid I have created within is what I chase and consume to be and project my survival suit, one and the same, and in totality, this is accepted and allowed relationships that I exist as that burn up and consume my human physical body into an aged burning grid of projection separate from the equality of my self as life to life, which I have denied in fear of loss and desire of gain to live, as I do not understand, as I was not taught/did not accept life, myself as, life one and equal to the substance as what I am that is life.

I commit my self to realizing all relationships as possessions of how and what I define my self as why I am the projection of my self  to survive, to forgive such relationship possessions as the projection of my self, to equalize my to to this human physical body, and earth myself.

I commit my self to realize that to attempt to have a relationship with another person who defines themselves through accepted and allowed definitions as relationships will only lead to conflict and friction, blame and excuse, justification and hiding, clinging and self denial as life, fear of loss and competition for gain, where the gain is the maintenance of personality, personality being a collection of relationships as values separated into a hierarchy, as the present system on earth, as a point of what is believed to be needed to survive.

I commit myself to revealing how personality is a collection of stories depicting more than and less than as a prop/as a grid/ as a survival suit/ as idol possession  manifest as projection in separation from life and self as life, divided and conquered into personas/personalities separate from what self is equal and one to and as, which is life, here, where the physical is the tool to exist one and equal to and as, to be an expression of life, here, to allow eternal life.

I commit my self to stopping the infinite design as possession of persona as mind consciousness system, the limited insight trap that never satisfies as self is not lived existing within polarities where, as is infinite design, the self moves within projections as possessions from negative, to neutral, to positive, eventually existing as only the positive conscious thought projection, where the layers of compounded energetic possessions consume self, as this is what self has accepted and allowed in separation from oneness in equality as self as life, that which is sought that is right here under the emperor’s clothes that is the persona the self follows that is the pied piper, heard in the back chat of the mind, leading oneself to a death - visible through the bent and crooked posture of the aged man as the burden of the self created grid as persona destroys the human physical body - absent of eternal life.

I commit myself to realizing that the rigidness of my human physical body is the constriction of my self as life, where my human physical body is revealing to me the personality I have accepted and allowed in separation from my self as life, where I have separated into energy and relinquished the sound of my self as life.

Day 47 Administration/admitted traitor

Day 47 Administration/admitted traitor

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to become frustrated when speaking with administrative people.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize when I ask a question that cannot be answered by the administrator that it is not within their learned responses, and thus I am trying to get a machine as mind, to give me an answer that is not within their program, and so I will get repeated responses that I must follow as there is no insight into the whole of this system and that were there insight into the whole of this system, then this system, as profit - where there are many starving and being abused on this planet, including the plants and the animals -  this system would not exist. Period.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have stopped and thought it curious that two different men from two different companies would not speak to one anther, where one was saying that the other was not telling the truth, yet would not seek clarification through the other, which evidently must be something taught by the system in which they work, as they are to support their systems and not interact as men, as their loyalty is to their jobs/corporations and not this physical world, and thus do we have starvation, rape, animal abuse, child sex trafficking, fracturing, pollution, animal extinction and all manner of abusive practices on this earth, because the individual has sold his/her self as life to a corporation, where when it is too late, they will realize that the corporation will in the end not consider them, just as it taught them to only do what protects the corporation.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to expect an administrator to realize this, as in order for the administrator to keep their job, they must ignore what serves people, this physical world, and only consider the corporation, or they will no longer have a job, within this I forgive my self for allowing myself to not realize that those who realize that life is not being considered are the ones who must stand and support a system of equality, a system where life as what is the value must stand and place into practice an Equal Money System, and that one can retain their current position and support a political party that will stand within this system and place into practice a system that considers what is best for all to bring heaven on earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to become frustrated when I have to spend time on the phone moving through automated systems to get anything done within this system.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to become frustrated when an administrator moves from the collective to the personal whenever there is a question they cannot answer as this is like action, where I take the personal personally.

I commit my self to realizing that becoming frustrated with administration is becoming frustrated with an organic robot/machine that is programmed to move in the interest of profit and not what is best for all, were this not true than this world would not have poverty, disease and pollution.

I commit my self to exposing that this system on earth is built by the hands of men, and thus it is the hands of men that are the cause of starvation, poverty, animal abuse, earth destruction and that the only way to stop the abuse that exists is for each and every person who has access to the internet, has the ability to stand and support a system that places life first,  to realize that serving the interest of profit is the cause of the abuse on this earth.