Day 101 The character of the dreamer.
I went and looked at real estate in another place, and have wanted to continue to do this. And then I find myself thinking about what it would be like to live there.
I find myself wanting a partner to life “there” - where ever “there” is! lol
I find myself being afraid of being alone in a “new place.”
I find myself doing this more as I pull my present situation into order to leave.
And I also notice I feel like I have less time.
Dreaming takes up time. eats it. The projector/mind is consuming through imagery, collecting all my pasts and creating a new story, fears included.
I have to breath and tell myself that I am here. Other than this, all there is is practical considerations.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to dream about the future.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to wonder what it would be like to live in “this or that” area, where what is only necessary of to look at practical considerations, such as real estate taxes, access, structural integrity of what exits, what needs repair and what it would mean to repair, etc.. The actual physical considerations of being in another place.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to turn a new place into a fairy tale, where I imagine all the characters as the picture of how I as a woman should appear in and as what is considered to be success, as a job, a “manly man,” children with their “significant” ( meaning support as mind) other, perhaps some grand children somewhere along the way etc.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that, though there is no “wrong” within any of these scenarios, the need to imagine them, to wish for them, to want them, to hope for them, as what I am being indicates that there is something missing within this world, as these images are of what life is here on this earth, where people interact with one another, in many fashions, with animals, with the soils, with the plants should be what exists without fear and apprehension of these things not existing, and thus as myself here, I would be the being of this as myself as life as a physical being in the form of a human here on this earth, and thus I would not need the drug of a dream, I would be here being this, thus is the act of myself dreaming, my own fear of loss of life that is the illusion and the separation and what is used to control myself a source of life on earth by a few.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this very ability of myself to dream, is myself in fear of loss, and within this is indicative that the very structure this world develops as this dreaming, allows a few to possess in reality this image and then has others running after this image, where the image is of a life in interaction, yet the reality is a system that eats up the resources of this earth and directs them within profits for the few, where if what is here is used in common sense and within best practices, as best practices being what is best for all, then scenarios where all of earth interacts with all of earth would be what exists and thus would we all , here, life, a REAL physical reality and not images in and as our minds.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this present system of inequality has used the ability of the human to dream, to grab and own this earth in contradiction to what the earth is as life - unconditionally/freely giving- to serve their own excessive dream scenarios, where the images in and as the mind are of a partial reality and thus can never be as fulfilling as the actual, in fact physical living reality, yet if one does not know the difference, and the dreams have taken all attention, then the very idea of a real physical reality living with this physical world would be so separated from self’s experience, it would be very difficult to understand what this means.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop all thoughts of wonder of what it would be like to live in another place, unless I am practically sitting down and making a list of actual practical existential considerations, as this is not dreaming but simply organizing what needs to be done to complete a task.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to realize within this, how many people on this earth are having their homes and families ripped apart so that monoculture agribusiness can take the land to grow vegetable oils to burn to replace the dwindling oil reserves, without any consideration for the plants, the animals and the soils ( where there are many more life forms) in an effort to own what is this earth that has no signature of ownership as it is life, where even within my local area, although there are funds for alternative energy options, the local electrical system is not putting any effort into developing this as there is not time for the electrical workers to implement such changes, as these changes cost money not only the money from government subsidies, but also the man hours spent implementing alternatives, thus nothing gets done on a large scale within alternative energy development, as most of what exists within money is spent on war, to grab a resource that is own-able ( meaning self interest for the few lost in a dream) and not something that is more difficult to own, which is the sunshine and the wind- thus within a profit based system, if it cannot be owned than it is of no interest, as the intangible cannot be labeled and stamped with a name.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that this same kind of thing would happen with music students, where they would begin to play with ease, as though they found the understanding with the instrument, and then suddenly stop, as the girls would begin to carry “purses” and the boys would go into sports, and the dressing of themselves within this would - as the dream- take over- and the violin would no longer be “cool” as that which is intangible within and as themselves was not real, what became real was the image, was how they looked and not what was them in expression as life, and thus a one dimensional, singular idea of how they should look - which can be manipulated and owned as the image sale of this and the accessories that create the image of this- can be owned, where the self, picking up a violin and directing self within the means of playing as self, cannot be owned and develops the ability of self to self direct, and thus this is not the suppression of life to become a follower of a picture.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself, as a human, to see, realize and understand , that there is plenty on this earth to support life, all life in dignity, and that the fact that a human dreams of a place to live, and how that place should look, is in itself an indication of something not being right about this world, as this is not actual physical living and development but only a dream.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that no matter where I might or might not want to live, what is here as this earth should be used with respect for the earth and all life, where no matter where I live there is not a question existent as to there being something to fear but only the existence of an interaction here as life in which to expand myself as life, to becoming one and equal to what this physical world consists of, as this world is of a technology beyond the human’s present understanding, and thus we are wishing and wanting some supposed “greater” outer space race to come with some sort of “amazing technological advancement, when this flies in the face of all reason, as we have this earth, this physical “space ship” that is right here, that is life, supporting us unconditionally and we do not even develop each and every human to understand this “SHIP” of life, where all we have done is turned this SHIP of life into a fucking doll house. I mean WTF.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the TITANIC- the story of the TItanic is the story of this earth as what will become of this earth if we do not wake up and take care of the ship that carried the ship of the greed of profits wanting to become more and more and more, hitting the iceburg of this physical world in ignorance of this physical world, and thus will this ship of fools as greed and profit before life go down, drowning in their own greed and substance abuse, where even when the dream is lived the substances of escape, such as alcohol are still needed to maintain the illusion and the intangible as the substance of life, is suppressed and in dis-use causing disease and sinking ships.
I commit myself to dismantling the dream and walking one and equal on this ship of life, the earth using the feet of my human physical body as myself as life, to live as a part of this earth in tandem with earth, one and equal, being here within and as my physical real feet and toes.
Disembark from this ship of fools and stand up as life, support an Equal Money System.
What is your MIND?
No comments:
Post a Comment