Saturday, September 28, 2019

Day 831 Looking at the word permission. The theater of the absurd. What is our Media?

I can see where I drag some days, as though I am not moving. What is it that causes that hesitation, the waiting , that holding back? 

Sometimes, I make lists of things to get done, especially when I am aware of emotional “ clouds” that must be processed hanging around. This helps me to continue walking here, it is a means of focus. This also means working on words. I noticed a word I had a difficult time of REMEMBERING within this period of feeling I have something “ pulling “ me down and slowing me up in being present and here as who and what I am as a human being on a physical and practical planet.

That word was “ permit.”  I had enough cognitive wear-with-all to catch this. It is, to some extent, a greater ability to hold my own actions throughout a day, or more than one day, to review and assess. Within this, in my busy day, I noticed an inability to call up this word. This was “ telling” in itself. 

I relate this word to the word “ permission.” Within this word, I realized that at times when something becomes more clear, that I had not given myself “ permission” to be and do what I naturally understood. It is as though ignorance is a lack of permission. And, within this, there is a “ desire” to have permission from an outside source, much like a belief that I am not allowed to move forward unless I have permission! That is intrinsically a lack of self trust. It is a lack of brutal self-honesty. 

It is a product of the product of compulsory schools too - from another perspective. Meaning, because we become what we practice and what we practice automates into our muscle memory, like a quantum programming - this movement of “ waiting-for-permission” can become a subtle “ slowing” down of permitting natural insight into this reality!  Think about it, we go to school for years, and must ask for permission from an “ authority” during most of our daily hours during our initial developmental years. What happens with what we practice, as the smallest of movements? I mean, asking permission does have a quality of slowing down to assess, yet when mis-used can also inhibit a natural desire to follow through and understand, as discover, how things work here, in this life, this physical life! 

I can sense this “ word” being something that is difficult to “ hold” within me in a stable way and means. Quite literally, this is, and not “ like,” an indication that there are resistances within me towards and as permitting myself license and leverage in terms of speaking up in common sense of practical reality. If we are divorced from the practical, as the very means to get things done; what is in the way? What causes us to basically get caught in the absurd instead of the practical, the common sensical? The illusion that removes a natural presence is in essence an absurd! I mean, look at the polarized political drama screamed through the media daily! It is a theater of the absurd!  Distraction from self as life could therefore be realized as the theater of the absurd. Remember a time when you realized you held beliefs that turned out to not be what was real? How silly did you feel about what you had allowed? How ABSURD did you realize your belief to actually BE? 

If I play with the sound of the word “ absurd” what can I “compose’? By some accounts, a vowel in front of a word negates the word. Thus, “ ab” negates “surd.” If I SPELL “ surd” backwards I get “ dru-s.” Like, drew. Like, I drew something. Or, I framed something. Or, I SPELLED, as cast a SPELL.  Like, the absurd is the inverse of real creation, effective creation, the kind of creation that realizes there are no problems and only solutions!  I mean, if I am absent of self as life, just as I spine spells of protection and defense, so would I “ warp” sounds to hide my own absence of real focus and presence as who and what I am as life here. This life that is a physical life. This life here that is the realization in thought, word and deed of and as to consider all things, to take the good and do no harm. This is the universal principle of oneness and equality. It is a system of real creation. 

I am, for a moment, relating permission to this contrast of the “ absurd.” The “ absurd” being a drama within me that dis-associates me from real and natural presence, causing a difficulty in “ holding” a word steady within me. I am life, therefore I do not need “ permission” to be anything other than who and what I am here as life, which is physical. I mean, ask yourself, “ why does the system move to “ own” what are freely-given resources?  Why within constant “ war” are the natural RESOURCES of a country suddenly “ owned” by some perpetually-living paper-corporation? Why does “ aid” seem to move so slowly, while resource extraction move with great efficiency?  This in itself, is another one of those “ theaters-of-the-absurd”! And it is in plain sight. What distractions, as what are you associating with and as a self definition that is causing an ignorance of this resource movement on earth today? And, why, if you are aware, may this appear to some as a Goliath out there somewhere that one cannot change because it is too big? It can change. It means realizing every small individual allowance and acceptance as self definition. It means being cognizant of your politicians, and your individual resource use. It means being aware of your self. It means being aware of various words in  your reality that are, for some reason, difficult to “ hold.” 

In effect, the degree to which one is scattered into value judgements, as the absurd, is the degree to which one is separated from that innocence of the real beingness within, as one’s natural ability of and as real PRESENCE.  It is all a math. The means of separation from self is as much a system as is the living system called creation, as the physical reality right here in plain sight. Are you scattered in a resonant bubble of belief or are you grounded and present evident in an absence of anger and reaction? And Why?  Because in effect, the realization of the absurdity of a scattered state as a projected picture show - as resonant belief - causing a consciousness of separation is an inner theater of the absurd where one loses all permissions of self as life. 

Is one’s FOCUS a per-miss ? Meaning a “ missing” of natural FOCUS here, with a direct seeing included in the use of my imagination?  Am I here, as per - “ mit” meaning, “ with” what is here in my thoughts, words and deeds? 

Thank you for reading! 

Monday, September 16, 2019

Day 830 A reaction from within me to insistence

Yesterday, early in the day, during a conversation, suddenly this rain of reaction poured down within me, through the middle of me. It was sudden, in appearance, yet, there is space between events , and therefore,  somewhere there is a beginning and an end. That is the rule of creation.  This means, though I have looked at this over time, as the space of me here, as these reactions,  and though it is not as overwhelming, meaning, I realize the movement of reaction just as in this description, in a moment, that reign, as rain of emotion moved through me, down through the middle of my physical body.  I was “ awestruck” for a moment, like WOW! What I have worked on is HERE. This brought forward questions. I asked myself, where and how was I building this, what is not yet clear, what was the trigger, where did I react, what was the more automatic reaction, where did I begin to live an automatic fear etc. etc. 

lol, I as well, have a sense of not wanting to go back and find what appears to be a minute movement! This in itself is an indication that the running within me as me, wants to continue, and/or, there is some buried desire/fear I am not yet clear on. It also has to do with being the patience to walk something into a well understood correction. Could it also be that “ quick-fix” in the pace of this world, appearing normal, when the normal is what is abnormal and what is abnormal is normal? 

What I remember is what I call an insistence. Meaning, something that has an insistent quality to it. I relate this to my experience within working with the male of the human species. I noticed in time as my life, that men, the male, can have this intense agitated quality to their behavior. For me, it was like, “ what is that?!” That is a thing. A state turns an action into a noun after all.  That “ state of agitation” can also be this slow seemingly calm and quiet state of the passive aggressive behavior found in some women. It appears like this impenetrable force, that in non-movement is like a slippery fish. Yet, that agitated state is also much like a slippery fish. This is a practiced thing, a developed state. It is as psychologists said to me after being married for 9 years and 11 months. My husband committing suicide was built within him for years, - 10 years of marriage was not enough time to have built that. And this, even within myself knowing this was in him, but being so unfamiliar with such a choice, and being so caught in my own programming, I was sensing what I could not name, or because of my own resonant information, avoided naming. Well, I did name it, yet when I spoke of it, I was told I was negative. lol, when a man tells me I am crazy, that emotional agitation is present. As logistical fallacies reveal, the moment a person becomes emotional they have already lost the argument. This is something people responding in an emotional way, do not want to hear. We don’t get angry when someone tells a lie, we get angry when someone tells the truth. Perhaps this previous statement is also a lie in some sense. Why, because we can move mountains as humans, thus, it is not so much what someone says, it is also how it is said. Any subtle emotion in a voice, even when speaking clearly, as calling something out by name, can feed agitation or stubborn passive firewalls- which are programs of belief, a resonant form appearing invisible, yet is visible because standing outside of being emotional means being able to call something out by name, with an emotional voice, or without the emotion outside of the voice! This in itself, though of “ reason” indicates the existence of acknowledgement of movement/expression.  Water remains water, yet the ripples are visible. Movement is visible within creation. That “ invisible “ wall is visible.  The consequences of a mis-use of freely given resources is visible. It causes harm to other sentient beings. And, it is not the elite that hold the present system in place, it is the followers, the employees. It is those who abdicate self responsibility. It is us. The power we have as the numbers of is, is so great, we could create an earth where everyone can live like a millionaire! 

Thus, in that moment I within myself, sensed that emotional wave sweep down though the middle of me, I stopped. I realized I was experiencing what I call an intense insistence as information being expressed in my environment. I have faced this so much. With a panel, with individuals. I realize I have a paranoia of this wall, of this “ wave.” The first time I called something like this a “ wall” was in 2002. I remember walking down a hallway, in a school and feeling/thinking there was suddenly this “ wall” present. I ask myself what question lead to this question as a way to review the steps taken to get to where I am. It has to do with asking myself, as I stood in another and different hallway, asking myself what it was about the “ words.” It was something about the words. it was 2000. I knew I was not reaching my husband in some way. 

lol, I just realized that in some way, I am showing a point I repeat again and again and again. And it is facing that which I call “ insistent” agitation or passive aggressive behavior. In a way, that passive aggressive behavior is “ of “ an agitation too! I sometimes realize that I choose to study music because it was a way to get away from words, a way to avoid language, a way to do something that was “ pure” in and of itself. Or so I believed. 

It is a form of running from something, avoiding something. It is believing something is impossible. And, despite that perhaps to some extent I realize the nature and quality of that from which I run, or that which I avoid, or that which I no-longer-want-to-deal-with, or, want a quick-fix for, what happened yesterday, in the morning, is an indicator that it is not YET clear. It also is cool, because the overall movement was in itself more visible. Thus, I can realize as continue walking, to understand how that reactive movement within me was built/formed/grown and understand when I begin to react as a state of sensing that agitation, that insistence, to, as in sales, address the limitations BEFORE they come up- which has a quality of addressing resistances that is what composes that built agitation or intense “ insistence! And, at the same time, not be so hard on myself, when I fall prey to that. Or, be grateful for what and who I am here, in this life, as this is walked as much as I am able, sharing this, because what i realize is that so many realize the same things, thus sharing is caring, because as we all speak the walking of coming out of a suppression of ourselves as life, which is the only choice, we help one another to remain more stable within this process! I mean, that is awesome! 

Looking back, as assessing that moment, and writing here, What I immediately saw for a moment, was how what I would call a “ darkness’ was forming behind me. That is a form of resistance as protection. There is anger within that. Anger is fear. And yet, at the same time, this reaction is a recognition! So, this begs the question and reveals the sentient nature of me as life here! Meaning, this reaction as me, which I allow, recognized a movement in my environment, and most probably did not YET understand how to address that, and was cautious of it. 

What I realized within reflection of this moment, yesterday, is a deep seeded fear. It is raw, it is like an abject terror. ( what does “ abject” mean? That was an automated response using that word! …. …” present to the maximum degree.” “ … “ completely without ( self) pride or dignity, self abasing .” )  YES, it is like a moment where I move into fear, into resistance, into non-looking, into “ desire,” into self abdication,” into NON-LOOKING! And, coupled with this, under that fear, is some frustration. It is  not YET knowing how to address a wall! There is a small sense of seeing outside of the wall, that sense of somehow ( lol “ sum” and “ how” - we speak solutions while speaking problems - this is the power of WORDS! they are DWORS, as doors, they frame! We can only speak our experience; vocabulary comes BEFORE achievement! Such is the beauty of LIFE! Always GIVING!) In other words, in this memory, as a state of remembering this movement more towards its inception, where I sensed but did not have the words to match the ways and means of what I faced, yet sensed a disturbance in the life around me! 

The wall is a bully. It is insistent. Yet, behind that is that presence which asks the question. Thus, when I sense this “ black” cloud building, it is a signal that I am moving into a automated behavior as reaction to my environment. I feel threatened, probably from practice, by what is here, as what is being expressed, as the sum and the how in my immediate environment. I have used one method to at least not become reactive, even though I know not YET where to go. I ask myself, and this is from experience, “ where is the grace?” “ where is the calm?”  From experience, I realize NOTHING can touch me unless I allow it.  I used to say to people, “ I will get hurt but so will you.” or “ You just told me more about you than anything else.” lol, both statements can really stop a person in their tracks! It shuts them up. lol- not an answer yet revealing of something else I tend towards. Buying time, meaning in a process of elimination, holding back from making a decision because going “ there” or “ there” is not the place to go. I supposed this is an unconscious recognition of a wall, without naming it outright because ultimately one must look at SELF’s acceptances and allowances. In other words, I did not want to look at how I had become that with I hate, and as suppressing a natural sentience. Meaning, realizing that that state of what I call “ intense insistence” both in passive and aggressive movement/expression I was avoiding as not addressing because of being in a deep fear of it, based on past experience, and most probably as that of a child that did not yet have the words, as language to communicate. And, within this, this must be forgiven, because blame and spite is more of the same, a reaction instead of real responsibility. 

As far as I go with this today… I realized yesterday in that moment, having looked at my own ripples through a process of looking at my own emotional vortex creating my own personified firewall, because this is all this can be, and is visible, because we are all suppressing as hiding our creations as not looking at what is here, thus, this is visible if we make the decision to stand one and equal to life here.  I have recently read in a book that the present system was developed by a man with the last name Taylor. Thus what is here was called Taylorism! ( the present system is really an alignment with the acceptances and allowances of the human race- thus we are all responsible for what exists)  This Taylor, was the grandfather of John Taylor Gato! Gato, also writes about the construction of this system and how it fractionalizes through reason, through ratio “ giving” as our present education system, where we are “ taught” to do repeated tasks, as specializing to remain in boxes, abdicating our responsibility as life, meaning we shut down looking at the whole and the parts, we accept such a system, a system that is a system of separation from a natural and normal sentience as life as who and what we really are, AND the only choice. We, as individuals, must make the decision to CHOOSE if we want to get this world in order.  The vortex, spinning around, coming outside from within the eyes, being projected outward is visible. One must simple acknowledge what one is doing, just as I must acknowledge this “ black” cloud entity building that which then reigns my behaviors, as rains down through me, as this is not me creating, this is me reacting.  This is not an ease of and as real expression coming from me, most probably coming from my heart. I shut down my heart as that behavior of reactions as protection as thoughts, as ideas, and beliefs, and opinions, as protections. Instead of facing the “somehow,” the sum and the how, of that insistence, as what I call this at this moment , I reject looking. Perhaps, in moments, as a child, I also attempted to address this in various ways and means. I am sure many have, and we can remember. In moments we see through the cracks, as that part of me that asks the kinds of questions I ask, that were most likely of small moments before the reactive behavior, I allowed, took precedence of self as life, those moments are also there!  The grace and the calm, it is always there. It may be tiny and buried under  a huge emotional construct, but it is there. No one can bring that forward but the self. 

I will continue to look at this “ event” from yesterday. I commit myself to walking back through this to realize the construction of my own demise! I will look at desire too. To desire something, even if that something is not what is best, can have some quality of FINALLY looking at what is here, because the desire in itself, right or wrong, is enough to face what is here even if as manipulation! Therefore, as this appears in this moment, to be a movement more through my heart, the difference within this, may reveal what is not YET as clear as it can be. 

Thank you for reading! 

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Day 829 Patterns, form and function.

Everything has a form and a function. Therefore there are patterns. Patterns also expedite and turn into forms and functions. 

It has been said that  one can understand where a person is at, in relation to how they speak, or how they describe things. And, it has been said that if one cannot explain something to a 6 year old, then one does not YET know something well enough to explain it. In this, words come before accomplishment. 

I think our symbols reveal the overall nature of how we work, I mean, as said above, if patterns lead to form and function, and words come before accomplishment, then a form is either SYMbiotic with life or it is not. If it is not, it lacks real form, it cannot sustain itself, as it does not fit into the circle of life; it does not fit into what is a self perpetuating balanced circle of movement. That lack is visible.  

Again, we all realize this, that we are running within a system, through acceptance that is not what is best for this plan-it. Ideologically, within, as how we define ourselves in service to this  present usurious system that is composed of consumers lacking any regard for their actions as they FOLLOWED a system that is counter-intuitive to the living reality on which it feeds! In so many ways, is it no wonder, according to some industry generated “ conspiracy theory, “ that those same generators realize that program of and as the consumer has become so destructive it is consuming this plan-it and must be removed? I mean, they are DOING SOMETHING instead of ONLY following! Can we blame them? No. We took the bait. Can’t blame anyone for that. 

The patterns are revealed in our symbols. We tend to order things in forms in terms of using communication as how humans speak and write. And, because we can only speak our experience, we place in our symbols that which we hide, that which is in plain sight. For instance, the alphabet begins with an A. That is a pyramid! It is how we learn. We move from the general, accumulate understanding, process as move within that more and more effectively. We become more and more aware of the details and process that more and more effectively direct us, until we move through the top of that triangle into grace and mastery! Unless we become a master of a limited set-body-of-information, as lack. 

The alphabet ends with a Z. Does that symbol not somewhat reveal the outcome of our programming as how we use the very symbols as the words we speak? Does it not look somewhat like a DNA spiral? Thus, how we BUILD ourselves within, as the development of skill sets, as that natural order of building as the A, will determine the building of our neurological network as that DNA spiral that is similar to the Z that is the symbol at the end of the ALPHABET.  Remember, we can ONLY speak out experience. And we hide our hiding in our words as our practiced experience! 

I have come across articles that suggest that some people talk about other people, some talk about events and others talk about ideas. None are necessarily “ bad.” Those who talk about other people, tend to take a long time to tell a story, meaning, they have to move through, “ then they said, then they did, then they said, and then.…” It is a way of building a picture but it can take a long time. In other words, they cannot expeditiously tell the story in few words. 

Others can talk about events. This is a level of greater pattern recognition. It is the “ he said, she said” situation on another level. It is also a greater awareness of relationships between thing in this reality. One is including more of the outer environment called this life.

The third stage is talking about ideas. Of course this is usually made “ holy.” It is filled with holes as it can be a positivity cult of thinking instead of being a transition, in tandem with the other “ maths” of communication, to seeing the parts and the whole of what is expressed on this plan-it and how one can become locked into limited and collectively accepted forms of information to the extent it automates and runs the machine called YOU! 

In looking at this overall, we can automate patterns and get locked into them, making it harder to READ new things around us, manifested as it being more and more difficult to actually READ words on a page. Reading does help one to READ the world around one! Reading sounds a lot like REEDING, like pushing movement through a pipe to SOUND something. Thus, we are the WORDS we effectively know. Are our words LIVING WORDS, meaning, do our words recognize all the relationships of this life, or are our words tied to limited constructions of information, the kind that have become a program of consumers offered by a few, who actually get out and DO SOMETHING, that realize there are too many CONSUMERS, as though they took the initiative to BUILD SOMETHING, and have made a mistake in their calculations and must back track to return a certain degree of BALANCE on this plan-it! I mean, can we blame them? Once again, as I repeat?

If one has not realized, as studied and LOOKED at the nature of being locked into limited perspectives revealed as the very words we speak and CAN generate, how does one know the degree to where one is at? How can one realize the programming of a limited story, and to note, we need stories because we recognize through patterns forms? A limited story, or being caught in one means of communication as a program, is a state of separation from the living story. One would have a harder time READING in such a case as READING reveals the extent to which one is caught  in limitation and therefore cannot PROCESS information to realize the patterns to both respect patterns and see outside of them as self and the living system of this PLAN-IT at present, to the extent one expresses as MOVES and COMMUNICATES with all the above limitations and the whole overall!  Who has done that to a greater degree? 

Again, yes, a limited program is not cool. Yet, if the following realize they have made a mis-take, then it is to realize that perhaps those that did take some initiative also made a mis-take. Overall, what exists exists through acceptance and allowance. And yes, what is here must change. Yet, it can only change as each individual must learn to respect all things, and take the time to study and understand how all of this works. It is something that no ONE can do for each one. It is something each one must do all by themselves.  And yes, there are those who fear stepping outside of limited programming because they fear their own “ self creation,”  AND they fear changing, they fear that they will not survive in the present system. AND, some have worked very hard to get to where they are at. Yet, we can more effectively use resources to the extent we do learn to control the population of humans and the natural world here on earth, in ways that allow each one to live on this earth like a millionaire! 

We also know we have a divided consciousness. Meaning, we all have memories, some of painful experiences. Those memories are our past. Some we bury. Those memories can manifest as pictures hiding what is behind that curtain- the degree to which the images are filled with uncertainty and fear and are seemingly fantastic is the degree to which one is separated from what is initially behind them! . That can take up a lot of our conscious mind, as our focus as our time here on this earth. One as the self, must sort that out and realize how the inner picture show, within this present system, that exists because we are doing this instead of being present and sorting out what is within. Thus, in terms of the words we use to describe where we are at, as what we talk about, we can begin to recognize the patterns revealing the degree of distance or presence in relation to this living reality! It is, as the words we speak, just like that curtain of numbers falling down like rain in the movie the MATRIX. We humans are amazing machines, we can build such illusion and defend them, and we can, simultaneously, realize the layers and see beyond them! That is amazing! Yet, one must be willing to study how one is in expression and what that construction is, as that “ fire-wall” as the very patterns and use of WORDS to RECOGNIZE- RE-COGNATE-IZE/eyes in the order of respecting all things as this living earth plan-it( structure) to stand as self, from the HEART/EARTH instead of some running picture show as a consciousness divided from self! A CON-sciousness that is visible in the very words a person uses and the tension as the constructions as the words  that inform to PULL like puppet strings on the PHYSICAL body. EVERYTHING is visible and in plain sight! YOU CANNOT HIDE! It is like it is said, one will face all that one has done. And, there is one choice,  to take the good and do no HARM.  Just as we actively participated in the present limited system through a lack of self realization ( that was actively and busily embraced! ) that was the means of building said system, so must each one begin to LOOK at what the self is defined as, and begin the journey to self realize to begin to walk a correction that fits into this PLAN-IT  that would be an action of REBUILDING the within to live and express self as life, as the principle of and as DO NO HARM. 

I mean, what is a projection but a set body of information self has allowed to define the self? Can one automate such behaviors? Yes. What is a divided and fractionalized consciousness but all of the above? And, is it not visible in thought, word and deed? 

Thank you for reading! 

Thursday, July 25, 2019

Day # 828 We are a natural and great sentience!

Things are uncovered as one lives in this life, if one takes the time to look. This means stepping outside of programming, of coping mechanisms. A coping mechanism is a belief, opinion or/and idea. It is a means to self direct. That means is built from experience. The foundational presumptions, as the sums absorbed, are determined by those first years of life. We are so amazing because we absorb EVERYTHING. This in itself reveals that we humans are programmable. We become what is in our environment, we absorb everything - as a natural SENSIBILITY. We then practice that. This then habituates. Meaning, what we practice inhabits our bodies, like a ghost in the machine, to the extent it is then what motivates us, directs us. As we FOCUS on that inner movement of accumulated actions, we can become distracted from seeing what is here in plain sight. That alone, shows oneness and equality potentiality.  We absorb everything, which means we are naturally present, we have a natural presence. We then can get lost in processing the information we absorbed. This then comes at the expense of a natural ability to ABSORB what is not only within us! If we forget the difference, we get locked in our own accepted and allowed practices. Because we are ONLY looking within, and if we do this for a long time, we forget the difference! 

An overuse of the imagination can be likened to water, too much or too little and we have physical problems, leading to death, yet just enough is the very means of life! 

Ever know someone who repeats things. It sounds like they are always self validating? If something is said that is not in synch/accord/agreement with the repetitious perceptions ( begging for clarity), they react. Why, because they see ONLY their experience, an experience of limited awareness because they have become a personification of ideas, beliefs and opinions, which would then be defended because it is all that is apparent as the person as overusing the imagination at the expense of being present - that which existed BEFORE that personality accrued as a series of acceptances of ideas, beliefs and opinions! 

The motivation behind separation is fear. Somewhere, as this process of self building occurred, a fear happened most probably because of overusing that inner information picture at the expense of presence, causing a disconnect that then lead to insecurity that is that sense of fear ( ever feel scattered and “ loopy”?). If that was not sorted out, it accumulated and then one is consumed within protecting that fear. This in itself is a state of separation from what is natural! 

Defending that fear, made a resonant belief system, will in itself, fluctuate. Meaning, one will go into a neutral zone in reaction to consequences of protecting that fear, and from there move back into what appears to lend direction as that emotional fear, that is justification of that fear, as validating the reasons for that reaction to fear. From that justification one will move back to a neutral zone. It is like being in an aftershock of some experience, a space of  “ nothing” as a lack of directing. Then, if the fear is not addressed that caused the reaction that caused the “ upsetting” friction , that space between one’s reaction as an initiating point in the moment, and one’s original programming of information of lack as “ not enough information” will be a moment of no-movement. Then one bounces back into one’s programming that lead to the movement that caused the friction. The space between these to experiences, when one has not addressed the initial programming as self directives, will have a neutral quality as a lack-of-taking-any-direction. That neutral zone is like falling back on a fundamental programming built from a fundamental lack of clarity. 

Yet, overall,  this is amazing because it reveals how things are built - as small accumulating movements! Things are built the same way, meaning things are done, one step at a time. Each brick is laid on a foundation one at a time, until the whole is complete. If that process of one-step-at-a-time was well constructed, the foundation is solid and supportive. It allows much more to be accomplished. If that foundation was done in a rush, without careful and patient movement, it will not have the means to face life, and it will consume the attention because it will require constant readjustment. That in itself is a distraction from real growth. A growth of that same presence, into understanding this living reality in which we spend this life. It is very simple in so many ways. That defending of that faulty foundation, and the chaos it generates, is what is complicated. 

To some extent, actually in all extent, speaking up about this in a system lost within this, using this in self interest, because money has become god ( is your life determined by money? If the answer is no, than you are lost in your mind) is pretty simple! It means sticking to this fundamental obviousness as to how we actually function. And yet, because of this how we function is really awesome! It is to say that a faulty, or limited SYSTEM is still a created SYSTEM which is amazing as a creative ability in itself - despite the default!

It cannot be any other way. How do we learn about who and what we are as parts if it were not so? We have a memory, as a mind, we have our physical bodies and we have this earth. This is right here. This is visible. This remains after we pass. Would we want someone who cannot function in this practical reality? Would we want someone who spends their time in this life believing there is some other life out there somewhere? Is that not in itself a self abdication? And if one has programmed one’s self as that, would it not be hard to let that go and change, when one is already practicing being stuck in a limited belief system?  Given that money has been allowed to determine life in a system where that same allowance as money-determining-life seeks to always OWN what is here, is that not an ad-mission that the program being generated by that same system that seeks to OWN what is here, realizes that the illusion of another life is in deed and illusion? I mean, how does one program but through repetition, and knowing how we work, how does one program what THEY want  but through airing information as a limited-story that through that repetition is what is in the environment that is then what is absorbed! And, because it does not fit into this reality, it becomes that foundation that ends up needing constant repair thereby distracting one from one’s natural ability to absorb information that is here!  It is that we are absorbing SUPER-imposed information, separate from reality!  

The real “ god” is that means, that ability to absorb information, that when correctly structured allows one to realize what has been absorbed, AND what is that which is being absorbed as where it comes from, and what one is in relation to all of this! Being locked in a consciousness petrie-dish, as an overuse of the imagination, ends up having one drown in that limited information, of which is visible, because one is too busy defending that limited foundation and as such, has no real ability to self direct in this reality AND this on top of a system that mirrors this disconnect ! It is a quantum conundrum. 

It can only be corrected through deconstructing the parts to then reconstruct to rebuild a foundation that can realize what is moving within and what is moving without to see the choices that support life instead of being lost in protections that are a defense of a state of lack. If one is present, as the initial absorbent state that children have, one would be as that child, more at ease, more in awe of life, and more desirous to participate in life - as being in defense tends to lead to shutting out life, and instead isolating one’s self from potential threats because one is in a state of lack. Being in that state of protection is so consuming. All one’s life force is consumed by it. One never really lives, one never can really learn who and what one is as life? It is why we have such subtle stories made into fantasy such as the story of humpty dumpty, because on that level way under our information storm that are polarized value judgements, we know. We know something is out of balance. 

What is the point that I am spinning around in? This post of right-eousness? This point of wanting to win wanting to be right instead as inner occupation, instead of problem solving? Wanting to solve problems is the only solution, and this is done by taking things apart and reconstructing them. Everything is a system, and systems have recognizable PATTERNS.

It is necessary to call things out by name, because then the action is called out and the person has no other option but to realize that someone else realizes their movements, thus there is great power in calling things our by name.

Within doing presentations in terms of reading development, it is clear that it means describing how we work, how we build ghost personalities that we are lost within, and how wanting another to realize as validate that set body of ideas, beliefs, opinions as a form of INFORMATION, will not be able to hear anything else but that, as one must first realize that which one is being as that limited static-construction automated within. That this is used, overall , is a lack of full disclosure.  Using this for self gain, or believing that harm exists in any way, as one small group is attempting to play god as this, is a crime against life. It cannot be legal in any sense of the terms because it is being that which it accuses another of being! Thus, no one can play god, because the real god is how creation/building actually functionally works! 

I can see where my attention is so much on ordering things for survival. Within that, the dialogues around me that are of constant self validation and justification. I especially notice this after having lived with my one son with whom I had developed a point where we recognized moving into emotional spins instead of being practical in the moment. The absence of the emotional spins create a much calmer environment. 

In the presence of this, these emotional self validations - which are constant as this is the movement of a mind consciousness - requires self evaluation with a shift into, instead, finding solutions, and to remain in that presence no matter what. 

The mind tends to bring forward set bodies of information, as big chunks of ideas, beliefs and opinions. The nature of this is “ of a spin” because it is the holding onto of a story with a set morality as a context separate from realizing the practical movement of things. That we have statements of and as what are basically comparison, as building the lesser evil, means that we are already lost in polarized fairly tales. As a fairy tale, separate from the measure of the physical reality, it must be like our present advertising system, our present entertainment system - a constant that generates through unceasing expression, just as the physical is a steady constant expression - yet one of balance and ease. I mean, why do we feel a calm and greater lightness in the presence of nature, or when we are by the sea side? Contrast that to a conversation with a partner when in disagreement. There is a lot of “ heavy” friction as a form of  pushing/forcing as a  constriction in the body, as that same sense as that lightening ease that one can experience by the sea. It is a tangible difference. 

Ever been around a couple who go into a conflict and begin to argue? Ever just walk away? Why is such a situation causing such a reaction? If one goes into a forest or stands next to the ocean, from my experience, there is a calming, a lightening, a sense of a coolness and “ flowing-lightness.” It is not something one moves away from, whereas when parents begin to argue, the kids will tend to remove themselves, as separate themselves from the conflict. That conflict is much heavier. That spin of values, where two people are attempting to argue their inner constructions that are not in synch with creative ability, as problem solving ability, or solution oriented movement. Instead they are forcing, pushing, projecting that self construction of self validation, of self’s inner construction as a morality of value judgements, as a story of information. By nature, because it is separate from creation, it will be hyper-tense and heavy, because it is not being present and realizing creation as how the physical creation is and does.

The physical is practical and is built by one small movement accumulating into a form. A mind consciousness, is also built the same way, yet its starting point is of fear- thus it is as it sounds, as that more heavy, friction laden entity. It is of value judgements, in protection and defense of the shame of believing fear even exists in the face of real creation. Creation being something practical. 

One can be within their polarized “ box” and either have a more ordered “ box” of a less ordered “ box.” Within this present system, and again in comparison, that more ordered “ box’ can exist as comparison to a less “ ordered” box. One can remain there, yet their are glimpses, in moments, when one sees outside that box. 

If we take the time to look, one can have that same experience of greater ease, as one can sense the difference between being present in this reality, and being caught up in a resonant mind consciousness as one’s beliefs, opinions and ideas that are of a limited morality, evident in that friction and conflict that is heavier than that sense of ease one can experience when being near the sea or walking in a forest. A limited morality can have a sense of “ what if?” that is fear, heavy as potential worst case scenarios, where one is in protection as survival instead of present - bringing forward solutions that lend greater ease. This “ ease” has that quality of lightness, similar to standing near the sea, or walking in a forest. 

The same experience can happen within reading or playing in instrument. One must focus on the actual when playing an instrument, or when reading something, even a conversation being “ reading” something, as processing information. There were moments when I was focused while playing where that playing had a general ease about it, with an ability to face the unexpected and move through it without upsetting the overall “ beat.”  That, and when one is “ reading” as reading words or listening to the “ words” of another in a conversation can be the same experience. I realize in moments, I have some reactions that are simply a recognition that something is not, somehow, “ sound.” Meaning, there is something lacking in real connection, or there is somehow a jump in reason in some way. I have in my life, spoken up and questioned such moments, not completely understanding why I was reacting in detail, only to have the limited polarized “ story” begin to defend itself, as a resonant mind consciousness of composed values is an “entity”. It is by design a limited construction, because it has that same tense quality to it, as it must re-express itself constantly, in order to “ survive.” Thus because of this, it will have a quality of defensiveness/offensiveness and have a heavier quality to it, yet once one begins to realize this, that same seeming “ heavy” quality has no real substance and is as a consequence, really a tiny tiny thing in relation to this physical reality. Does this appear to be a dichotomy in itself?. If one ONLY sees the projections as the mind being overused and as such of-a-tense/polarized/value-justifying entity, it will appear HUGE. 

In itself the greater that projection appears, the deeper one is lost in the same limited system.  There is another math that exists that can potentially expose this same perspective. That is that one can notice, the less we know someone, the more we require emotional value judgements. The more we know someone, the more we can use” facts.” This is to say,  when we first meet someone, using facts can overwhelm, we tend to tout what we see as what gives us value, and we praise the same in the person we meet. As we get to know someone, we come forward with more data as facts. 

This is also evident in sales processes. When we first meet a client, we are all praise, we are HUGE in value judgements. As we move along, we use some facts. It is, lol, like walking through a bureaucratic defense system as out present system.  As we work with someone, we can bring forward more and more specificity. I mean, that is also how we learn something new; we begin with generalities and move into greater and greater detail. Also, look at how we learn to crawl and to walk and to talk. We have this space that we begin to move our bodies within, as we narrow down, as we become more specific in the space, we begin to be able to “ will” our bodies to move in the space with greater specificity. I mean, that is how we build understanding to the extent we can express with what is here. If there is any kind of friction, we are living an expression that does not fit into this reality.  Or, we are not reading the environment clearly - there exists an inner distraction occupying attention. And, naturally, if someone is playing “ god” within this, because of an accumulated consequence of not understanding this overall, a system within these accumulated individual systems will begin to emerge, and naturally, it will consume the present system and eventually end, because it has consumed that which it has mis-used and of which it cannot exist without! It will manifest an orchestra that is very out of tune! Look around, what do we have on earth today, with increasing attention disorders, poverty, animal extinction, deforestation, pollution,  chronic anxiety, etc. ?

An entity caught in a limited construction of information, that would because of its limitation, be polarized as value judgements, that is energy instead of sound balance, would be difficult to see outside of its resonant storm made larger-than-life. I mean, we become what we practice. What we practice accumulates, just as a musician who practices “ right” action, as being present with an instrument leads to a mastery of their craft. If we practice limited information, we will find more and more conflict with reality, instead of real and sound interactions. In this case we cannot trust memory, yet that same memory is showing where we dis-associated from this reality! Ironically, it also means we can trust our memory to show us to ourselves! Being in an inner state of friction would make it difficult to hold and reform seemingly opposite values. lol, I suppose it could be said one is stuck in a linear model that interrupts jumping into quantum assessment. No one can correct this but the self. And blame is more distraction. 

We can become a morality of victimhood, or self righteousness, or passive aggression. We hold tightly onto our self composed limitations. We practice justifying lack. One cannot play a musical instrument if one has this spinning ego. Yet, one can have an extremely well composed “ box” as “inform” that can move into automation. There are stories of what we call “ masters” of instruments, who travel around the world playing concertos, for instance, that are known to get out onto the stage and perform while very very drunk. They programmed their muscles, and inner ability to memorize things, at a young age, with a very well defined understanding, that has automated. Thus, their body goes into automation and they themselves realize to some extent what has happened, and don’t know how to get out, and simply attempt to hide in what has happened by disassociating themselves from their own bodies and programming, to the extent they seek alcohol. 

Yet, this must eventually catch up with them. I have experienced musicians that were in famous quartets for a while. They have performed the same pieces so many times, and are consumed by this, that suddenly having to play something different is very difficult. They have lost changeability, even though they can perform a complex piece very well. They have  a hard time stepping out of that habituated box.  lol, I am sure some can recognize when a known “ master” moves to play something new, in a small group setting, and it sounds disjointed and the sudden reaction within the room is this sudden deep silence, where no one dares speak up because of a shock of and as “ did that just happen!” That silence in itself reveals our capacity to see as sense the math of the language of the moment in the space! That moment of sensing that, before one bounces back into one’s own resonant construction as personification, is more of that part of self, that can sense the lightness when being next to the sea, or walking through a forest - one is absent energetic states that is of value judgements. This is visible when what is being expressed is lacking in some real connectedness. This can happen in any setting, unless we are not present because we are consumed by our own inner resonant constructions causing separation from being in respect of what is real and actual and here, as this creation of the physical reality that is the very means of expression - even a more-well-formed expression that is not equal to life as the proverbial “ box.” 

The degree to which things are structural and therefore, a system, from my opinion, become more and more clear as a mathematical/geometrical form. As things are inherently form and function by their very design.

This is incredibly awesome, and yet, for some, frightening. Why would such statements be a reason to cause a reaction? Because, it means that the “ math” that is us, that we have allowed, is the fault of no one but the self. And yet, that very statement is also incredibly empowering! It allows each one of as to realize how much we are creators! If we would but forgive reactions, slow down for a moment, breath and look at this, the “ freeing” of ourselves within - as that which inhibits this natural ability inherent in the incredible sensory nature of our physical bodies - we might experience a sudden movement in our immediate time and space moment.  

The degree to which we are reactive, is most likely the degree to which we are separate from that natural ability within and as us, as who and what we are as physical sentient states of being. We are designed to sense here. We are designed to be present here. Being focused HERE, would be our senses in full play, which would be a state of great joy - that kind of joy, as a state of awe, we see in young children - BEFORE the 3rd/4th grade, when inner experiences absorbed from the environment ( mostly parents) are the behaviors of suppressing and hiding, manifest as pushing-the-recognition of this state-of-separation away. 

I believe it was Noam Chomsky who basically said that the educated were educated just enough to believe they are educated. And, I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who basically said that we humans spend so much time and energy suppressing ourselves as in making-ourselves-stupid. Both of these perspectives mirror the degree to which we are suppressing an amazing natural ability as the very form and function of who and what we are! 

I recently was involved in a situation in which there was a reaction. When I spoke up about this, I felt that I was facing what I called a slippery-fish. It was something like trying to bring a telescope into focus. Meaning, no matter what I said, even in spelling out the laws and details, every word could not be heard. The quality of the persons standing before me was of what I call this “ vacuous” presence. I could sense this, see the focus of the person as a lack of being focused within and through the eyes. With hindsight, ( which actually shows me to myself in many respects! lol) there was a similar pattern, like a similar  “ song,” like having read so many novels, a pattern emerges and that “ song” becomes recognizable! In DOING the opportunity to LEARN comes forward! And it is why promoted “ lack” can never work - because we humans by design have a natural sentience that can and will recognize repetitions. And, a system of a few playing god, will tend to follow the lowest common denominator thereby over-simplifying as trying to force one-size-fits-all scenario that in its limitation cannot fit into life. Control seeks simple patterns as systems because it is easier to manage. The degree of our own justifications will simplify too, and we will repeat that because it is simply easier to manage that huge belief system that is self suppression - a very busy and distracting state of being.  

I noticed a “ song” as a form, as a state of focus, as a state of being, while interacting with others in relation to a problem in my world. I kept calling it a slippery-fish. It was like an undulating “ thing” within the person. It was like the mirages one can see when driving through a desert and the water evaporating off of the road causes that clear-sheen like “ entity” to warp the road in direct sight. It was not something seen with one’s eyes. It was more sensed. I would say, since I as much as anyone, have suppressed this inner sentience. As a consequence, it is more that bits and pieces of this natural and being-uncovered sentience come through within this hindsight as that part of me returning to utilization of myself as life. I most probably jump between habits and some use of what is natural within and as me. It is, this mirage, this illusion, this hypnotic state of self-suppression-as-life within each of us, that exists by our own individual volition, and it has been going on for generations to the extent it is now an elephant in the room through the law of compounding effects. 

Which brings me back to my starting point. The degree to which we are emotional - as that wall of self suppression manifest as layered value judgements visible in plain sight and simply invisible through practiced intent - is the degree to which we are distant from who and what we really are as life. There is a direct correlation between the degree to which we react emotionally to any given situation between self and the mirage we build, as allow to “ swim” around who and what we really are like a rippling effect moving through our muscles. I mean, imagine attempting to learn to read, to learn new things, around this wall of beliefs that move like that kind of fear one experiences manifest as that “ slippery-fish” state that is a consequence of losing self-as-life? That very moment of “ fear” most probably not clarified by parents because they have not clarified this within themselves and therefore cannot teach this to the sentient beings born into their environment as their children and as such, only pass-on the same with each generation?! That projected “ wall” of “ fear” programmed behavior must be cleared before one can effectively express a natural ability to be present and here, equal and one to the living creation that would in all common sense be PHYSICAL. 

In the course of this most recent experience, I kept stopping and saying to myself that “ I felt like I was dealing with a slippery-fish.” Thus, my conscious self, as most probably the 5% of my mind consciousness system, was narrowing the overall general sensation into my cultural iconography as a “ slippery-fish.” Within my layered con-science as my practice, turned habit, within the subconscious was all the math of this reality from my family, the justifications, the fears, the culture icons that so often represent things from nature, were the language coming up talking to me, showing me where I was - what I was BEING. AND, because of the soup within my self, that is its own “ slippery-fish,” needed to be decoded. I mean, would not self-stupefication be of the elements from our own environments! Like I said, creation is in plain sight! Creating “ simplifying imagery as icons, is a form of efficient processing, to control and then “ hold”  within.  This is like a “ string” of symbols - which are WORDS - as “ loopy” self directives. It is to say we are efficient in our reasoning to manage lack. It all works BOTH ways. That is amazing! 

My inner template of “ buttons” to build expression that generates my movements, were of a practice that was the same as that slippery-fish and that is as a mirage - that is more sensed by the ripple effect it creates because of its lack of real substantive movement - I encountered in relation to this recent event. Having existed in my mind-consciousness as accepted and allowed beliefs, ideas and opinions, of polarized value judgments, I am the same as that which I sense in moments. In walking the process of taking this emotional/feeling bubble apart, a natural ability to be more present comes through at times. It is as the Mayan Indians reveled, as the infamous 2012 change on earth, as the apocalypse = A POLE COLLAPSE! I mean, it make sense, within the law of compounding effects that that which is not in synch with real creation would be of an “ entity” that is like a slippery-fish! It has no real staying power, and then would be as a “ mirage” as a state of hyperbole, that is an inner self accepted and allowed hypnotic state. As such, there would be a direct correlation in the degree to which one was en-bubbled in a mirage of polarized beliefs, and the degree to which one would be present. Meaning, the degree to which one was more in equality and oneness with real living creation would have more of that “ quality” that one senses when encountering the sea, of a forest. From my experience and perspective this would have a more awesome natural state that allows one to realize there are no problems and ONLY solutions, and that life would be physical and in plain sight.  I mean what is the proverbial “ veil”?

How does the Machiavellian game of divide and conquer work? What is the voice of “ good and bad” spinning as a voice in the background of one’s mind?

What is most reflective of this, is that those who can process language with greater effect, meaning they are more able to read with greater ease, and more of the words of mankind, tend to have greater success in this reality. This, in terms of functioning within the present system. 

When Noam Chomsky realizes that the educated are educated just enough to believe they are educated, and most of that “ educated” class lack language processing skills of the most successful, has a grain of truth to it. The more successful can process more languages ( as math is a language too) with greater ease than the bubble of the middle class “ professionals” that appear to have more success as bubbles tend to get lost in comparison between limited entities. It is that we are all moving in comparison of our own embraced mirages! Meanwhile, the so called “ elite” have bubbles that one could say are “ boxes” that are of limited information and yet are of a more refined information as a set body of ideas, beliefs and opinions!

We need only watch the internet to realize the hyperbole of which I speak. We need only watch how the internet info-flow is so much like that “ slippery-fish.” We need only look at some of the communication in our relationships to realize how we are defined by our experiences and can only express what we have practiced, and how much we believe that inner slippery-fish to be more real than what is here.  We can realize, with hindsight how scattered we were in a moment, as the ripple effect. The degree to which we have allowed ourselves to exist in emotional states is the degree to which we have scattered ourselves within into value judgements. We have hyper-inflated values in and as survival mode as fear, warping our perception of reality and shutting down the amazing self-as-life! We have created a resonant state of limiting beliefs, opinions and ideas, which means we are creators! We can deconstruct and reconstruct to synch ourselves back into our amazing and natural presence as life, here. 

We can practice our words, to improve our processing of information ability as words, and at the same time, clean up our definitions in a systematic way, to the extent we need not think about the words, and allow what is natural as an ability to be present and spatially process what is here as this creation that is naturally of PHYSICAL formation expressing itself as form and function as what it is as life! We are each one and all amazing because we are life. We can do incredible things! We can work together and show the life within each one, as each one, because we are the sum of parts, individual and yet one. We are the very substance and fabric of life as who and what we are. The ripple effects of this mirage as a divided consciousness, is the stuff of ego, of personality, of projection of limited values - all having a starting point of fear, that is what separation from self-as-life would be. And it is all a “ math.”

There is most likely, a direct correlation between the degree of our separation from ourselves as life - evident in the intensity of our emotional reactions as resistances to learning new things - and the “ distance” from a real expression of and as who we really are as life. And, the backchat in and as our state-of-separation as a mind-consciousness of and as layered and resonant information  within, that moves as a ripple in creation that could be called a slippery-fish, is our scattered selves made larger than life! In reality, we need not “ pursue” happiness, we already are happiness as who and what we are as the very manifested expression of the form and function of and as the physical reality that is life manifest! 

Okay, if this makes some sense, I take this experience into another experience. 

I was talking to this man this week. Suddenly, I noticed that same “ ripple” movement in the muscles of the face and body of this man with whom I spoke. I had a moment jump out at me, of his suppressions being what I called “ infantile.” Meaning, that ripple effect was somehow from wayyyyyyy back in that man’s childhood, or, an initiating effect. He was smothering in this, and could barely process information. The weight of it, the stagnating force of it. This is so crushing, so incredibly crushing - I mean how? Why? 

What I can say, is that when each and every one begins to realize this, the staggering reaction to what has been accepted and allowed in this reality, will lead to a realization of the extent we as life have suppressed the greatness of and as who and what we are.

We are life. We are magnificent creators! We have allowed ourselves to be stuck in fear, as ego. We are so suppressing the AMAZING ability within us and it is visible through and as that ripple effect creating a mirage that we are allowing to direct us and is that which separates us! It is like a slippery-serpentine-fishy-rippling entity “ undulating” through our muscles! It is so weighty and blinding and stagnating! And if we look, we can see through the cracks in moments, and realize the necessity to deconstruct this resonant storm of and as energy, that is like shifting sands occupying out attentions, and eating up the amazing life force within us. 

We are life, we are as that life a great sentience!