Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Day 860 A reminder of that which is constant

What was it yesterday that came up but noticing it was time to separate the chaos, or the fillers, from what is more constant, and more stable. 


In relation to myself and thinking, I find myself thinking about things. It is a sudden thing as one is in one moment, more present and then suddenly in another moment, imagining something. 


Meanwhile, and with some experience, those moments where real problem solving happens, that also have a measure of greater clarity become more real. By that I mean, more productive, or less anxiety causing. 


It is that one has shut down real feeling, a sense of the space that is here. I also notice how scattered things appear to be, especially in the media, and in conversations with others. Those moments where a person appears suddenly more aggressive, and/or moves into a manner where they are attempting to soften something by bringing forward a value and hyper-focusing on that. This is how the mind works when misused. It becomes more visible. The whole focus of the body also reflects this. 


It reflects the debt based monetary system where we are all living some hyper-projection that has no real value as it is separate from reality. If our money is all debt then who actually “ owns” everything - if such a thing can actually be real overall.


And, would that “ debt” be repurposed into being able to purchase less and less, as the goal posts change in the banking system. It is an inflated bubble, just as the use of aggressively or passively focusing on values that are about protecting some “ asset” or some fear of really looking at what is going on today on this earth. 


There is the law of correspondence, where what is below is above and what is without is within. It is like a hologram where each part reflects the whole. In every word we speak, we expose where we are at, on what we focus upon. Blame is basically abdicating responsibility. It is a form of becoming a reaction instead of a solution. It causes the ripples of a need to respond to the reaction instead of the problem. This must be visible, because the medium the ripple moves through remains a constant … until the constant is destroyed by being overwhelmed by ripples. 


I have looked back into moments where I more neutralized situations seeing through the hyper-realized reactions. I ask myself why I am not living that “ state of being” with every breath? 


It was yesterday morning that I woke up with this question around me, that I went onto the internet and noticed a pattern emerging from that chaos. In three interactions, the words about seeing the constant through the storm came up. It was as though within all the resonant chaos, that one point came through. At the end of the day, this is really what it is all about. 


The real solutions are what is constant and here. I am physical, on a physical planet. That is what exists at the end of the day. In relation to debt and the present banking system, there is this earth and it requires a reset that realizes it is the real value, and the means to be life. That is the constant. And, it is here, in plain sight. 

Sunday, October 18, 2020

Day 859 A reflection on the math of being caught in a spell, or emotional storm.

I can feel this thing in my chest, as though there is a constant pressure. It is a fine line, the difference. A difference between sensing a real movement and existing within an elevated state of being. It is so visible in the form and movement of a face to a large degree. One can focus the body to see the overall movement. It can cause an uncomfortability, as though a natural sentience can on some level mirror what is around them. A state of protection demands a constant awareness in order to react in ways that maintain that protection. I suppose it is possible to become a mirror for others, one need only have the patience to face the storm. Emotional storms have a funny way of burning themselves out. it can only last so long. 


What is interesting, is that surrounding this is a certain lite-ness. I can’t tell if I am being delusional. Yet there are moments when a “ storm” has been more something made visible to itself than something that could be considered a threat. The storm lives its courses in a faster way when there is nothing fueling that storm. Therefore, its life span is shortened. If restrictions were lessened would life come through more? At the end of the day, life cannot be suppressed. It is a constant , whereas an emotional projection has no constancy. That is probably a huge difference, but being in an emotional storm eludes that simplicity. One is caught under a spell. A spell constructed and allowed by the self at the expense of a natural sentience. That “ sentience” that allows one to learn to ride a bike pretty quickly. Emotionally charged spells, as projections, of defense of one’s own spells, facing another of the same does not have the same embrace and learning ability as that kind of focus that is used to learn to ride a bike. Emotionally charged states, or spells, against the same, lack processing speeds - unless one sees outside the veil, and then that natural spatial ability begins to open up. 


One of the cool things about slowing down and breathing is that one can become one’s own witness to one’s own storms. Why? Because a false paradigm as a projection of ideas, beliefs and opinions has only a certain duration, thus the contrast is there if one can breath through and unfollow the reactions as information coming up from within. 


If we all stopped and cross referenced our own reactions to things before making a decision, many many things would begin to change. Chaos is complicated. The complex in contrast could be realized as being more harmonic. Somehow, we have associated chaos with complex. Yet, complex does not need to mean something is chaotic. As some have said, if one cannot explain something to a child then it is not really understood. And, that once we know something it is a joy because it has become easy. Yet, an emotional polarity can, in time, make the complex appear difficult. This is why as we age, things appear more difficult.  What has happened is that some unresolved value judgement is clouding the lens of awareness. If we look at the MSM today, it is all about clouding the lens of a natural awareness. Life is here, that which thwarts life must be a bullying state, because it is a state of denial of life. Or, when involved in the emotional/feeling storm processing slows way down. One moves into defense often manifest as name calling. That makes facing a storm much easier because such a construct both has no longevity and it is something that eventually must seek balance. That lack of balance leads to death. 


Suppression  ( a form of defense) is a shutting down of being in the living space and time of earth. We are the ones who build our own “ shut down” systems. At the end of the day, is the present “ lock down” simply reflecting what each is doing within the self as life? Are we tired of playing the game, exhausted from projecting a separate reality on top of this living earth? Is this going to be a solution or a death sentence? Are we “ locking down” because we are at an end game stage, where the invisible is made visible, the fantastic demystified? Because we are not yet ready to stand up we instead lock down? Are we realizing where we are going is not going to work? Has a process of elimination lead us to this point. Perhaps, it will lead to making the choice to finally realize real feeling as acceptance of the great abundance that is this physical creation? Since the “ storm of separation” has no real power, are we locking ourselves down in shame, or procrastinating from facing our own shame at having shut down real feeling. Real feeling being what would bring balance to this existence, that is existence period. It is like, open the heart, which would mean open up a natural sentience. Let what is constant and of support come roaring through. Realize within the “ math “ of spell casting that nothing can define one but what one is as life here. There would be a joy in the realization that this is the only place to go to at the end of the day. That would restore the kind of play one did as a young child. 

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Day 858 Recognizing the shadow world of separation from self.

As happens, it is usually in the morning when I am waking up that I catch an insight into the movement of my own behaviors. This morning it was more obvious to me the extent to which I move into protection as a form of self suppression.


I remember, in college, while performing on stage one time, that I consciously performed in a way to hide a full presence in what it was I was doing. It is a form of no longer being as open. The belief behind it was that in being open, I attracted too much “ insistence” from others. What does that mean… It means that a certain focus of myself, could attract a kind of focus from other humans. It also reveals that I composed myself to a much greater extent than I am perhaps willing to realize. I deliberately, in a moment, composed the focus of my body, within a certain degree of limitation as not being open and fully focused with clarity in what I was doing in that moment. 


It also reveals a fear within me. What I am seeing is a fear of being able to answer to what comes to me in my environment. The contradiction, as the very nature of life revealing itself, was the movement I choose in that moment as being the answer to my own perceived dilemma! Astounding that the answer is therefore, always in plain sight. 


It was to realize that all things are a system, a composition. Even, as my father taught me, a newspaper article is a composition, visible in what it does not say. Most articles are written where the important thing is revealed at the end of the article because literacy rates are falling - which is also a system - and as a consequence most people no longer read to the end of an article - which means in itself, that emotions are triggered and the processing of information has become stagnant. It is a thing, a slow processing speed. The way forward is finding the point of conceptual development, to get it moving. It means seeing that train of separation. slowing it down and directing/moving in a direction that opens self discovery.


It is also understood that music, art and dance and reading about world events develops both sides of the brain. It is also understood that small minds talk about other people ( distraction), a more focused mind by degree, will talk about larger movements, and an even more focused person, using the tool of the mind, will focus on the overall whole and the ideas that improve that overall whole. How many people do you know that spend most of their time talking about other people? Was my self shutting myself down an attempt to avoid facing the above - that obviously reveals the human can determine their own FOCUS and as such “ invade” a space with their focus (revealed in their words and the focus of their bodies) to the extent one would make a choice to hide from that by doing the same thing that is causing that limited and narrow focus that creates a projection that is visible in its limitations by the very sounds coming from within it by the FOCUS of the body itself? Is it visible when perhaps in tossing a ball at the person the extent to which they are present is visible in the timing it takes to notice and catch a ball tossed towards them? 


This is dealing with a kind of quantum shadow world. And I choose to play the game, which means that I am able to see the game. My self suppression was really about a belief that I did not know how to deal with that which I then used to hide from that! It also means there is no excuse for anyone.


To change a practice that has been lived over a long time, is both easy and hard. Hard because reversing something appears difficult when the forces that drove that movement have become seemingly normal. Yet, once something is understood and called out by name, it no longer has any power as like cancels like. It is, all a math, one of great beauty. The shame being a rejection of that very beauty. “ we are happy when we are focused and unhappy when we are not” should be “ we are happy when we are focused here on earth, considering all things, and unhappy when we are not.”


This tension point on the right side of my chest, that at first felt like an inflammation, has to do with this point of facing the very thing I shut myself off from, that that has the answer to that which I resisted. 


I also sense that I circumnavigate this point. Hmmm. lol


At the end of the day, it is just like listening to a piece of music, hearing ( lol - I typed “hearting”) the moving parts and pulling the strings in ways that face the problem, the tension, the focus, to and towards what brings forward balance and consideration of all things. And then to rebuild as every word, to speak in oneness and equality with life that is here always, otherwise why would I shut myself off from it? It is here, as that is the real starting point. 


This is all interesting, because at the moment, I have a physical problem in my immediate environment. Many around me are telling me there is nothing I can do. My family members tell me this with pity cloaking their bodies. I recognize the quality of the “ film.” It all appears impossible. Yet, I have managed to find agreement. It needs no label, no name calling. it requires spelling out the space. It is, at the end of the day a math. It is when real harmony happens that it is like standing in the most magnificent “ song.” A “ song” that is stable in itself. It is like watching a plant resort back to its original form, or a form that fits into the environment. I had a “ foreign” lettuce that appeared to do this. It is as though something if forcing the living plants to be other than they really are. After all, the dinosaurs always looked like some sophomoric attempt at design. We have as a society come to believe that the sophomoric is more than it actually is. Having done a discipline for so long, that becomes obvious. I just shut down and say nothing most of the time because the difference is unknown and some attempt at speaking up elicits a group think that has forgotten the difference. It is a complacency in silently realizing that to some extent there is something called a continuum. 


In a way, I already know what to do. Not necessarily with all the specifics. It is more that I have already done this in small movements. A practice of looking at space and time, taking things apart. It is more to make that bigger and the shadow play smaller, or an aid in a moment. The absence of using emotion and feeling allows one to say things more directly because it triggers nothing and as such allows more self reflection, somewhat like the rule of three ( times). This requires seeing the moments a gap appears that floods insight. ( I had one of those moments the other day and then blocked it out!)  Yet the “ water” imprint remains.