The Follower, habit of limitation.
We learn by following. Somehow, this means of expanding and learning, has become stagnant. We get stuck in the following, the taking in of form, and get bogged down in this process, losing that which is the means to follow, to take in, to receive, that what we are receiving, as what we are allowing, gets lost within the overall step of having a perspective of what we follow. Of course, if we are in a box during our developmental years, there is nothing to cross reference in the moment: we memorize the form only. We accept it without recognition into the whole, as this life we must participate within to live. We are fed a lot of knowledge and information, with a busy work that creates a smoke and mirrors show of information to memorize, with little time in the inherent scheduling of this, to apply a practice in actual real living as what we essentially do in our adult years. So, it is like a blinding busyness of parts that are good, but the method of delivery is the means of separation into a cognitive map that becomes like its own story that manifests as a running train in the head, this moving so fast, the real world outside the windows of our minds -our memory fabric, can no longer be seen. And it is composed of truths playing an associative game in a bubble. The veil. We built it, we accepted it, we allowed it. We can blame no one but ourselves and only we, each one, can change it. Since it was built, it can be deconstructed and reconstructed. Life ultimately, is forgiving, because this is the nature of life. Life will if allowed and accepted.
My own habit of following the authority of my environment, built by the generations that came before me, and my own acceptances and allowances, races so fast, as me, as this is what I practiced, appears impossible to stop, to slow down. I must remind myself of a segue moment, where, just as if I were running very fast, that momentum and speed needs the physical act of slowing down and turning the tides within me, of my belief, my accepted opinions, my ideas, my personification, how I define myself.
I automatically follow, so habituated to this am I. I did not stand grounded and assess what I followed, as a form, and cross reference practical application and the consequences of this to the world around me, that world I so wanted to participate within. The practice of slowing down, seeing my acceptances and allowances, and grounding myself in reality, seems daunting, and yet, the more I practice this, the more ease I have in communication with reality, the physical. So, it is like the view from the follower remains and the ability to communicate and ground spreads through me in a moment. The old follower wanting to cry in the frustration of following only, within accepted limited beliefs, and the new joy underneath, that of being able to face the limitations and communicate a means to realizing solution, as what gives self direction within and without. The joy of living. It is time to take back one’s joy. The follower believing suddenly that perhaps the worth is not there, as oneself. Yet the worth is the measure of the follower speaking up and not the process of respecting life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to follow only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as a belief that I am unworthy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am unworthy not seeing realizing and understanding that this is the limitation of my accepted and allowed measure built of limited values, habituated without cross reference into the practice of living a physical life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am unworthy of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cry for and about the construct of limitation I accepted and allowed.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that movement within and as me, as energy, as the division of myself into limited values, to define myself, as I believed that this, that was my creation, was more than the reality around me as life, that which would be information as the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame and spite, in self interest within and as my accepted and allowed self aggrandizement.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to become indignant, in and as a belief that the fault is not mine, when it is because I projected blame and spite instead of solution as in respecting life, as in being thankful for simply being in life, as the physical, as this is life in expression.
I forgive myself for not slowing down and considering all things, in every moment here.
I forgive myself for abdicating myself as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the fault of limitation as knowledge and information only, without practical application in respect of the physical world, as the physical is life information, is creation in form.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to follow only, ideas, beliefs, and opinions, in a metaphysical way, creating a paranormal existence within and as me, all in separation from being a living word, as in respecting myself and the physical world around me in thought, word and deed, here.
When and as I find myself falling back into the habit of following only, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I accept my own accepted and allowed limitations, as the self definitions of the mind, and I follow through into cross referencing the practice of living as a physical beingness as life would, into and as a transformation within and as myself into and as what is best for all, until I am here, grounded, at ease, self directive, present, here.
When and as I find myself following, I stop and I breath, and I take that which is good and does no harm, as what is best for all, and I cross reference, as respect, as enjoy, as communicate, as interact, with the without as the physical to equalize the within to the without, and in so doing, let go of myself as mind, losing everything to gain everything, to become the full potential of myself as life here.
When and as I find myself following, as my habit of limited knowledge and information where I judge one thing as more than another, and as such resist based on my ideas of value to survive, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, I stand within and as the tension of my practice, my accepted measure as energy, as belief, and I ground myself here, as the past does not define me here in this moment.
When and as I find myself funneling into and as a movement that is a tension, like pulling myself into strings of expression, to project without, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, as let go, as open up, and bring back into and as a consideration of all things, as a cross reference to life here, as the physical, to enjoy the expression of life here, as a man, to enable myself to communicate what is best for all, to become equal in understanding in and as the practice of physical life, as this is the expression of life in form, as this is the value, as this here, is life.