Friday, July 28, 2017

Feeling and Structure and walking a dog. Day 785

I notice that there appears to me to be two sides happening. Somehow they are within utilization of an inherent absorbent ability and utilizing structure. 

Somehow, the gap, must come together between the two as I see it at the moment. It appears to me that there are two schools, so-to-speak, of moving from sensing as discovering,  within not bringing in too much structure, and utilizing structure as a means to an end.  In reality, it is both, it is a balance and interchange within both. Too little structure, and one spends too much time in finding self direction. Too much structure being given, as a form, to only follow, and one misses a sense of self within having perspective within that structure, which can in itself, cause a separation, and fear, as insecurity, because one loses grounding in a way. It somehow ties into the fact that we learn more from a sum of parts, the subject and the object, cross referencing within the two, that must come to a balance, where the processing between both moves with greater awareness. After all, separation is caused through limitation.

I find when I have back chat in competition, as comparing myself to another, or from a point of fearing to lose something, which means I want to win something, I am in a point of fear, and hence self interest, forgetting who and what I am here. What  I find supports me, is to realize that I have this world around me, the physical, and myself, and the group, mirroring the same as me, working through processes that are similar to my own.  Meaning, there remains this idea that I have to do this myself, which is a truth, and yet, it must also, must need, the world around me, the people, the plants, the animals, this as a structural awareness.  

This balance between listening, as ordering, as listing, form and function, movement and expression, be it of a considerate focus of all things, or be it, within a state of separation, as self interest, always with a quality of and as a “rush” being present.  When I have back chat in competition, the comparisons come up, and I am within ordering in self interest and not considering all things, where solutions are always the way forward. It is seeing the thoughts and what is in-between the thoughts, it is always, being grounded in realizing I am, and that I-am is physical. Within things that have happened in my life, what remains is myself here. What has real longevity, is the I am. What is around me, is what allows the I am. This is in a way, the same as god is.  Some people have said to me. “ that is Buddism.”  Yet, Christ said the same thing.  This is the same as the story of the Hansel and Gretel fairy tale, as the old woman in the woods, is the princess in another life, thus we are all the same, life in expression, each an expression in another life. We are here. I am.  Have we ever asked how that old woman came to the end of her life living in those woods? What shaped and formed her. I mean, we tend to choose families and cultures similar to our own, because we understand that our surroundings influence our children! 

The power to call things by their name, is being the living word. This is also buried, or made evident in our fairy tales. 

In this, a fear of making a mistake, is an illusion, and that same ability to move from sensing a form, to see structure, is also realizing the structure, as the structure is the means to the end, just as the physical is the means to the end, as though both are the same. Creativity, as I see it at this point, is realizing change can happen, within realizing to always  choose what does no harm. 

It is the realization that too much water is detrimental, as is too little, there must be a balance. This same realization is used to divide and conquer, in, for example, our health systems, that use imbalance to make a profit before bringing forward health from creating balance in the basic needs of the physical to remain in balance and function. Instead, imbalance, is created, to force needs that then must be balanced out. Yet, this is done in a way to perpetuate the need for pills, that perpetual payment, where one’s labor moves towards purchasing that pill, for the rest of one's life, where that pill is not concerned with creating stability, but maintaining an instability to not only direct labor, but also, to create a perpetual state of imbalance, because if one discovered this overall, it would no longer have the power to influence one, and one would begin to discover real support. This means, as the distraction is so ubiquitous, that it is a busy work to maintain the deception, because the potential to understand is more natural. It is like a perpetual static. This is much like the back chat within me, when I move into competition, manifest as back chat of a projection of a more and a state of being less.  And it is the same, in that what is here, as I am, is the physical, which moves in creative ways, as the principle of and as to do no harm, which is to consider all things. 

I have two ears and one mouth, which means that it is to listen more than speak.  Since I have back chat, at times, it means to listen even more, than speak, because of my own separations and the practice of listening to here, to the I am, to realizing what is in between the thoughts, as the thoughts are colored with value judgements and are not that kind of reflection of what is here, as those moments, when I am interrupted and  see through the veil of my own spin in value judgements, based on the past, based on the acceptance and allowance of a culture that is based on an environment and that experience made a construct or structure to guide one, that forgot from hence it came, as the physical world.  It is , as I see it, still a stagnation into fearing to really feel.  And yet, real joy would be to really fear. Within this, not fearing to make mistakes, and that includes using past mistakes to justify where I am at at present within bringing myself back into equality and oneness in respect of and as what and who I am as a physical state of being, that means living practical awareness, here.  Because, creation is practical, which is really cool, and so simple. What is in plain sight is simple, it is a chaos that separates it.

Yesterday, I was asked to go and to talk with some people that had experienced a bad situation regarding a dog belonging to someone I know. I knew that I was going to have to face their venting, and I realized it could not define me, and that it was to apologize, and lend my regards in understanding why they were angry. I hesitated when it came to do this, as I did not want to face that metaphysical state of blame and anger coming at me.  This is my past, and it is a fear of loss, a fear of being defined at the values within the venting. I have to tell myself that I have faced such and not reacted, and even done this, before I started to walk this process, in quite natural ways and means. Still, there is some fear of this, a fear of facing this event. it is a pattern of not wanting to face this, and becoming angry. Yet, what would I want if the tides were turned and I was them? Where I am at at the moment, is to realize there are only solutions, where punishment is not being and living a structural means of bringing forth a presence that lives not having a repeat of the problem.  Thus, even though I realize this on the one hand, there remains this fear of facing this chaos, because it will be loaded with so many things - or so I believe. This is more than likely, yet, not necessarily so. There may come more compassion than I am expecting.  Which, overall, I have been surprised with before. And, lol, expected other times, only to find I face a lot of anger and venting!

Living solutions, as realizing there are no problems and only solutions, means taking responsibility, no matter what. It means investigating until one understands enough. Fear is, in many ways, not having investigated something enough. it means not having really looked and considered more than one’s immediate survival needs. It is recognizable in being caught in a construct of the lesser evil, which causes a spin of weighing values, which is not being in that space between thoughts, where one realizes the existent structure and the creation in expression, at the same time, feeling the creative ability inherent in the overall design, to change and choose what does no harm, and respects all things. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself t move into competition, as living a comparison within values, in self interest, not being realizing and understanding that the I am that is me, is within a limited idea, belief, or opinion, in fear of survival, and forgetful of the I am, that is me, that is here, that is the physical creation in expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to project outside of me that there is a lack within me, that I must defend, which is myself not being present, equal and one, feeling here, being in the simple joy of realizing what is here, is me, in another life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself toot see, realize and understand, what it means to be strong, for example, as I have lived this , within and as other areas of my life, where i was steady, and stable, and directive, thus, as life, in feeling here, this is actually a more natural state of being, than allowing back chats within and as me, of comparison, imagining success or worst-case-scenarios.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear, being myself, feeling here.

i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear feeling, intros instance, the anger and venting of another, as though this can define me, as though this is impossible to deal with, when it is a consequence of other actions of lack, where the only solution is to realize directive structures that lend ease and a absence of a fear of feeling, as in this case it is a dog that has had little social interaction opportunities with other dogs. thus, the solution is here, and can be walked, and the anger from those who suffered the consequences of the lack in the dog, within the present system, will and may come towards me, as from one perspective, they are the victims of this lack.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I react within and as protection and defense, within and as what is here, is to realize actions of complete responsibility to and towards what is best for all, as life, as living solutions, realizing that there are no problems only solutions, here, and to see, realize and understand that there must be more awareness structurally of and as the practical applications that have not been lived, in relation to this dog, that are the solution.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that just as it is well known in the research in reading development, most criminals are those who have no means of communication, that in itself causes a consequence of greater frustration and inability to communicate effectively, building a seed of dissonance and disconnect, where the inability to communicate, causes greater and greater loss of opportunity, leading to more ineffective behaviors in social situations, a self perpetuating storm of dis-clarity, and aggressive behaviors,  where the real solution is to rebuild effective structures of  a reciprocal nature as being able to simultaneously call things by name, and respect what is here as the very structure and expression of the physical, and the creative nature of this, as the ability to change, within and as realizing the only choice is to do no harm, as to respect all things, here. 

When and as I find myself moving into fear, into believing it is too much to face the storm, of and as not moving in and as the realization in practical action, in every moment, as realizing there are no problems and only solutions, I stop, and i breath, and I slow myself down, and I recognize my own pattern of fear, as resistance, as feeling overwhelmed, as fearing to be defined, of believing I am responsible - as believing I must problem solve, or have all the answers, etc, - I stop and I breath, as I see realize and understand that this idea that I am responsible, is an idea, that I then self blame, becoming a perpetual state of not feeling worthy, a separation within itself, and also the answer, as in some ways we all realize we can problem solve, as we are the perfect forms to do so,  thus, it is to stop hating myself and to become patient and calm, realizing the solutions are always here, even if colored with a past of a consciousness of separation from realizing self as life, here, as being physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i should have recognized this before it happened, as this dog has been kept in  a yard, after being used to breed other dogs and as such having lived in a kennel, without any real socialization, and there for,  being life, wanting to interact with other dogs and yet fearing them at the same time, thus, there was not a recognition that the dog needed some socialization, which was lacking, and somehow it was my responsibility to have prevented what happened from happening, yet it is not my dog, and I cannot physically be in many places at once, therefor, and because of where I am , in this moment, it is to face the storm and realize the solutions.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to in some ways, trust myself, within and as seeing realizing and understanding that I cam capable to assessing, as investigating, as in taking the time to understand, and within this, need not move into anxiety, fearing to be labeled, or defined as not being enough, or moving into self blame, based on expectations, within and as some idea, and instead to realize this as a past pattern, and to embrace it, forgive it, redirect it, within and as making as accepting a natural ability to assess and understand, as gather information, to realize there are no problems only solutions in living actions as who and what I am as a physical state of being as life in expression, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take things personally, to not within this, slow down, and breath, and ground myself here, in calm, giving as I would receive, as not reacting to emotional outflows, as the story of good and bad, right and wrong, more than and less than, and to within this, give as lend understanding, assessing and realizing solutions,  as standing equal and one to physical creation, as creation would be and do, as this is being creative here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand,  practical awareness, as respect of the physical as who and what i am is always here, and as such the potential to always from solutions, within an as there are no problems,  is always here, and within this, to realize consequence within not realizing this sound principle, is a process, thus, with each breath, with each step, it is to birth life fro the physical, to realize the principle of oneness and equality as the golden rule, in practical action, as to give as one would receive, here.

When and as I find myself becoming overwhelmed and spinning into anxiety, I stop, I slow down, and I breath, and I take the space to respect here, to listen more than I speak, to hear more than wanting to speak up, to practice grounding and referencing here, as assessing what is here, seeing realizing and understanding the storms of energy, as separation, into a catch 22, or a more than and a less than, of fear of loss and desire for gain in self interest as belief, opinion and idea, to embrace this, forgive and to listen to what is here, to realize that it is natural to assess what is here,  and anxiety is more a protection and defense, as a justification which is a fear of loss,, instead of respecting what is here as life as the practical as the physical reality , the living physical reality around me, to practice when and as I move into taking things personally, fearing to be defined, as them, to then to forgive and to follow through into realizing what is best for all, here. 

lol, When and as I find myself reacting, as becoming frustrated, or resistant, to slow down and breath, to listen, to assess, to  cross reference my own back chat, and the tension within my physical body, to realize that just as a unsocialized dog does not know how to act with other dogs, so am I, within and as being  past as a practice of fear, spinning into anxiety, as a lack of processing, as a lack of respect of the practical, where the protection and defense, is in a way, a non - looking here at the practical,  as being in respect of creation, as all cultures are products of the environment, and to realize that I am physical, and that I can assess, real-eyes, feel, as life here, and enjoy, here,  in the same way, I have actually socialized a dog, who did not know, as never had the opportunity, to interact with other dogs , for example, on a walk, and as such, have lived that change, that change that came with the opportunity, and as such, it is a process, thus, when and as I find myself moving into anxiety, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down,  and I forgive  personalities from the past that may arise, and I look here,  to build effective communication with here, as this reality as all things, that are me in another life, to practice realigning into equality and oneness with life, that is physical and in plain sight/site here. 

When and as I find myself facing a situation where I experience what i call ‘ venting’ I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I assess, check myself,  listen , realize to not take this personally, and ground myself,  as check to ensure  I am calm,  to realize that I can assess problems, and move with them into realizing there are no problems and only solutions here.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Mental Graphic Novel Business Day 784

This week I was working with a child, who I noticed as the behaviors, was, ‘ standing in something’ that was the best match for what they felt. I likened this to how absorbent I am, we are, as our innate capacity to understand. The child appeared to me to be trying this out, being the effects of this behavior and at the same time expressing how they felt.  It appeared to me to be the whole child, and not as much the way adults can be, where they do not look as their presence, as their ‘ state of being” ( in this case it is similar yet not as incorperated). This being, as the adult being  instead a built series of such experiences as this child, manifesting as multiple experiences  of such a reference. Again, what caught my attention, was how this was the child, they were embodying this and testing this out, while it somehow matched something they had experienced. 

In the desteni I process, I find that I have so many times said the words, spoke the forms, and yet as things come more into focus, the reality of allowing myself to be both the subject and the object at the same time, without resistance, and realizing there is no need to be afraid, is a process, and yet, it is like an uncovering of what we already know.  It is as it says it is, in that it is the removal of self denial as the capacity to sense what is here, and be here, respecting what is here. How can what is a simple thing become such a messy thing and so ignored for so long as a loss of self recognition? How can a busyness of ordering stuck up in a resonant spin using ordering, become such a dissonance from reality? I ask the obvious question, yet is this not a part of the process, as as-king is a powerful tool of reflection. 

On the greater stage, I look at articles about Syria and other areas in the middle east, that describe the rubble left behind from bombs. I read a book written by a local author who experienced the Russians coming into eastern Germany and basically expelling the Germans and replacing them with Polish people, at the end of WW2  They just simply came and pushed some people out and replaced them with others, and this after coming in and taking all the livestock and crops, leaving the people with nothing.  What would motivate such an action that has no regard for the life, the resources of men and planet? Could it be a construct of values floating in the minds of men that are a separation from reality? How has that obviously resonant limitation come to be larger than life?  And why, can we not realize, especially in understanding the import- ance of education that it is possible to inFORM a person with a measured math as a measured value system that is not inclusive of all values as this physical reality?  Is it so difficult to realize that our within is not equal to the without, our ‘ above’s ‘ not equal to the practical ‘ below’? 

This is such a waste of capable resources. This is such a mis-use of what we are. What astounds me the most, as this is as astonishing as realizing the depth of a self imposed through a great effort to suppress,  as devastating as the bombs on the land,  of the self as life, as presence as the capacity to be here, and not so busy with graphing out what is to come, what might come, what is possible, based on an idea that is of something out there, in some place that is not here, as here is where things get done, as nothing was ever done within thinking about it- the focus to do demands all of one's attention on here, which also reveals that one must understand here, to get something done? And this, begs the question as to why we are placing our children in front of television sets and in schools that are boxes,  that are not reality?  And to not move into anther polarized value judgement to the extent we deny such things a television, as a proper use of television, can be supportive! I mean, Imagine creating one of those holographic programs that show the life and sequence of a seed? That would be really cool in terms of bringing attention to the expressive life of nature that is a constant surrounding us. Remember, trees create oxygen for us to breath. I do not think that any human apparatus is as symbiotic and self replicating as that tree within the very fabric of and as what nature is. In other words, nature is a great technology, one that, by some recollections, something that terra formed this earth, and may have been brought from somewhere else- thus, if we look at the pyramids, that some argue were built with a greater skill set than known today, could it be that those with this supposed ‘ greater skill set’ have realized that the fabric of plants and bugs and animals, was something worth sustaining, as it could not be recreated because of its inherent efficiency? Why reinvent the wheel into something less than what already exists that has a sustainable balance? 

If I am so busy graphing things out, and having learned about the world in a box, it would make sense that actions that are not what is best for life, as life, as bombing this earth for some graphed out idea that is in itself a separation from considering all things as being the problem!  That self constructed and accepted as imposed  graph of information, of IN FORM ation,  has been made larger that what is real! 

Within myself  I realize how much time I spent in time! lol, Meaning how much I resisted and rejected and composed myself in self interest, as the same that is the problem that is an act of separation from who and what I am that is of the same fabric as the tree that is a fabric of life that is self sustaining and self creating and in balance if we would allow it to be the expression of what it is!

In the movement, as the practice as the process in slowing down to recognize this, I also realize within a process of elimination of being as busy within composing a belief system, and uncovering being less fearful in meeting other graphic novels as the expression as the colored energies of others being the same as myself as a state of resonant separation,  that the degree with which I have allowed this, can be re-versed back into being in humbleness with this reality. This meaning that I can, with joy, acknowledge my mis-takes on reality, redo the math, and live solutions. This does not demand that I graph out all possible scenarios, within self protection and defense, because the means is the practical reality around me.  Those shadows as ‘ state of colored being’ need not define me, and can be used , or recognized for what they are, without fear,  as standing here, in respect of the practical and the physical reality.  It is to say, why not enjoy being/becoming the uncovering as the self discovery of the life that is here as the physical, which is what is natural?

I can, lol, imagine if we reformed this earth into realizing that we can be what we naturally are, as discovering how this reality functions, within and as self directing within the principle that all that is here is us, as the very fabric of creation. 

It is actually fun to call things out by name, to be clear about what is around us, and to realize that this clarity deepens, just as learning an instrument has that quality of a depending understanding that is a joy of discovery, slowed down only by a threat of survival that can consume one’s natural presence as an innate ability to completely absorb something and stand as it, just as we do as babies when we learn to crawl and to walk and to talk- we embody something, we embody the world around us, we embody the states of value that are not necessarily bad, yet can become automated and stagnant, in our parents that are directed by survival in a forgetfulness of the very fabric of what we are as that physical manifestation of form and function that is of a design that is self sustaining, and self generating and self balancing. 

I mean, why do I write as script this out? Why do I sit here and write this out? What am I using to do this? I am using words, as small degrees of sound, to map out, to graph out, to bring my words into equality and oneness with what equalizes me to this physical creation that I cannot live without. I mean, look at the mankind having to leave their homes, their lives disrupted, their basic needs questionable in being met,  the resources turned into rubble unnecessarily,  because of some idea imposed on reality! It makes no sense. And, the answer I am so often given, as “ if common sense were common, then it would be utilized “ is an endgame answer that reveals that lack of insight that is the real problem. Such a statement reveals the problem, as a non-looking that lends the solution, which is to LOOK HERE. In looking here at the practical, the graphic superimposed, resonantly metaphysical reality known as ego, is an active rejection of innate common sense, as that absorbent ability! 

What is interesting in tandem with all of this, is that physically I feel that my chest is going to burst out, to the extent that moving into thinking, is becoming more and more impossible, it is too limited.  It is like being a compassion without a desire for gain. The moment I move into a colored value, I lose  catching, or reading, or reeding what is here. I remember this, because I had to be this to perform, it was the only way, no matter what, no matter what politics were around me, it took some time and I would not say I was perfect at it. At the same time, in some ways, I also isolated myself because of being this. Interesting how we have a secret shadow mid of fear, and a secret sense of recognizing the separation of ourselves from the reality around us. I mean, that sense within me, that what we are doing makes no sense, is the same as that of which I speak.

It is also to realize that each of us has this same thing within ourselves. We can recognize this. I find more and more, that people will listen. They can recognize. It is a matter of reforming the sound, finding a structure that can he held, that can be grasped enough for greater reflection of the practical without loss of where one is and the demands of our present system of survival.  Real-eyezing  being grounded in the practical is using that natural ability to organize, to realize the ordinary in the practical as being the joy as it allows the busyness of ordering things to be more expeditious and not as large or overwhelming as one might suppose when one is in a resonance of values graphed by the self, absorbed from others, as the loss of presence in the practical reality of a physical life. 

If we make spelling our words with ease, then our focus can be opened up to more than momentary graphs of things we absorb as our natural capacity to understand what is here as this reality. This is because human use words to communicate. It is as though, language is a means to equalize one’s presence into this reality. It is the instrument of what we are, to realize the clarity of ourselves within as life. Life being what takes what is good and does no harm, as that reciprocity that is the nature of our natural absorbent ability.  Recognition of something can be fun,  and a self discovering mechanism into clarity

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

as- KING Day 783

In working with children, I realize how much that absorbent ability, as the child, does not have boundaries. Meaning that absorbent ability takes in what is around it, and becomes it. There is no separation. Yet, this is and what would be the very nature of our natural absorbent ability! We learn to define the qualities we absorb over time and define ourselves as that, when that is really a process of clarifying what we are seeing and what we are being, as a expression in a relationship. I say relationship because I am here, on a physical planet, moving in a relationship with all that is here, composing an expression as the whole as the physical as this earth, as creation. 

I can get caught up in my review of the reflection of what I have taken in as a value within the process of defining who and what I am as a physical form on a physical planet. I can forget what iI am and take the resonant ‘ copy’ as what I absorbed as a form, and make that larger than life. Then I become a con-sciouness of separation.  Amazing how our schools are this manifest, showing ourselves to ourselves as how we are allowing informing as separation from the practical reality. And we do this with words, mis-using sound, to create more and accumulating consciousness’s of separation. An instored/in-spired/in- layered/in-storied set body of information. Can we ask ourselves why we can’t remember what we did last year? If we are following a resonant construct of limited - information,  as a set body of information, how can we be present realizing the reality around us, in ways that do not cause conflict with the physical reality? Our actions do not fit into that reality, the one we absorbed that created a picture that then, through allowance, became larger than life!  

This begs the question, as as-KING, as self reflection with regard for what and who we are as physical beings on a physical PLAN-it,  where there is a at-most-fear,  why such a thing as shaking within ourselves exists? Is it possible that the sha- KING is countering a set body of resonant information? One moves against acceptances and allowances, as a resonant construction, when one QUEST- ions with as-KING ? Meaning, when one reviews one’s reality outside of that set body of resonant belief, as limited information, where one no longer is using that natural absorbent ability that can have no boundaries, as the process of understanding this reality, that is a natural action and is how we expand and realize who and what we are here? 

Within me, I can, in this moment, sense a righteousness. Meaning, my manner of wondering why we cannot see this, is in itself colored as being righteous. As always a truth is present, yet when made larger that life, it can lead to righteousness. Which is doing the same as what I speak of, making something larger than the practical. 

I can realize how stagnant I am from my own acceptance and separation from processing what is here, from reading what is here. In so many ways, it really is to get my processing speeds moving, meaning to realize what I am allowing as what I have absorbed without principle, and at the same time, reconnecting to having a real relationship with the physical reality around me. It is to become a master of who and what I am, to ground myself in this reality, a physical reality here.

That righteousness is a form of wanting to fix things, as rebalance things. It is wanting to have things move suddenly, which is an expectation. Then, that expectation is not lived out, and a reassessment takes place, which is a process. Yet, being present in this reality, within the realization of the principle of life, as being as doing no harm, is not yet lived with that natural absorbent ability in every moment, as this is the only real choice. In this, there is realizing in every moment, wth every breath, that there are no problems and only solutions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not recognize moving into righteousness, as the colors, as the hyperbolized value judgements, rushing within me,  as an accepted and allowed practice of and as a false morality, that when and as I move against my own acceptances and allowances, I begin to shake, revealing my acceptances and allowances to myself, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move as an idea, as an expectation , instead of slowing down and breathing, cross referencing here, assessing here, investigating here, to listen to here, to as-KING here, to ensure a stable and steady balance, within regarding and respecting all things, as who and what I am here, as life, that is physical in manifestation as creation, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and realize, see, and understand every movement within and as me, as a intellectual set body of information, believed to make me superior, as a more, within a survival game, not realizing how I work as life, and rushing to win, to conquer, when I am here, inherently able to absorb the form and movement as expression of what is here as the physical, to become aware of, as myself, to define me, within relationships of all that is here,  and the balance of and as what does no harm, taking that which is good, leading to a living breathing, changing, expression of life in FORMation here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move, to self direct as a set body of information, from and as a consciousness of separation instead of  moving from the heart of me, as life. 

When and as I find myself moving into conflict as resistance,/rejection/reaction, I stop and I breath, and I embrace with as-KING  to ground myself here, to assess and investigate, to balance and realize  the practical in the moment, the simple ordinary, the hum --bell expression within realizing a principle of recognizing and respecting living reality as the expression of life, composed of relationships of and as working/breathing/living in harmonious balance, that moves with ease, as there is no rush, there is here, where the value is being life. 

Monday, June 26, 2017

Looking at Stories ; Continuing Obstructions Day 782

I am looking at stories. I am looking at meter, at measure, at time. 

There is something called a mini-day schedule. It is where one has a form of measure of time, where during a certain space in time, each day, one takes care of certain actions in relation to one’s enterprise. 
Meaning, for example, from 10 am to 12 pm, one takes care of all correspondence. One writes letters, or makes phone call. Then, from 12 pm. to 1 pm, one does all tasks for another part of one’s business. Perhaps checking necessary paper work etc. Within that space, that measure, one does all that one can do for the day within that framework. If something is not finished, one follows through the next day in the same frame of time. Ofcourse, this is flexible, yet the overall frame, is the structural basis.  In this, one does the ordinary necessary things each day, that then, within the law of compounding, or accumulation, builds the whole, or the extra-ordinary.  Quite simple. And, what one could call, as an outcome, a story. it becomes the course of events, having rises and falls, within our present way of looking at things, into the steps that build a picture, or build any number of things, of outcomes. Some may consider such a story uninspiring. Yet, what is a story other than a series of events? 

This begs the question as to how humans listen to stories about a series of events, from another’s life? Mostly, the ‘ he said, she said “ stories.  In this, often such stories have both details and emotional value judgements, even happy moments. The overall feelings and emotions, of the good and the bad, being a colored part of the story.  That additional color of emotions, of and as value judgements,  creating a filler in the space of and as the story, where we need those colors, because we have become those colors, and are therefor, used to the math, the tempo to such an extent we acclimate to that ‘ beat.’  It is a separation from the practical, and from real creation, from real respect of the practical that builds real things, that enables real presence and equal respect of creation, as the physical. This physical world a real sense of creation. The colored, value judgement world,  like a hot air balloon surrounding and separating one from what is stable, as this physical creation.  Can this, that we accumulate and acclimate to, make what differs from such, as the practical where we are not actually doing and moving, appear, by comparison, boring and slow? Which story line would actually be more stable? 

I look at teenagers, who are mostly repelled by the history in text books put together by a federal entity, as the storied line of events by a victor who has accepted and allowed, as us too, a word to be placed to define a private bank, called the unclear and deceptive name as ‘ The Federal Reserve” ?  Is it possible, that because of our own practice as stories, or sequences of events as larger than life, filled with ideological ‘ good and evil’  as value judgements, superimposed on the practical reality of doing the ordinary to create the extraordinary,  as a state within, create a cursory perception that does assumes the general statement of the name of this entity as the “ federal reserve’ to have a relationship to the government as being the government, when it is not? Do we look behind the measure as the words, as the math of what this name inscribed in stone on the head stone of a building? Do we see behind the veil of this series of words, and define the terms projecting out towards us, in practical action, as what those words mean as the sequence of events they compose in action behind the pillars in our world?  The deception, the ‘ lack’ of ception, the lack of real seeing, is so right in our face, that through acceptance, because of not realizing the very meter, measure, math, spatial division of events, we miss, as we are so defined by ‘ good and evil’ as polarized superimposed value judgements, that we are so elevated from what is ordinary and the means to getting things done that that storied smoke and mirrors, or resonant shadows emanating from our flesh as our accepted and allowed practices, defining ourselves, automated through that practice of projecting ‘ good and bad’ that a conception of deception is allowed, instead of using a natural spatial ability, or real critical and creative thinking skills, or sensation of reality as what our physical bodies are so capable as their natural function? 

Do I allow that deception to become real when I in any moment, believe it is impossible to change? This, especially, when what is real remains and what is not of real substance, as what sustains the practical, as the physical, is that which is constant, under all the storied information creating religion, and a history that is of the same polarized value judgements, blaming and spiting one person, one event, one nation, in our history books of the same form of deception? Have a look, in the order of growing a tree, one places a seed in the ground, ensures it has the basics, as water, nutrients, sunlight, etc. and the tree will grow. It is what it is, no projected survival games of good and bad, change the physical properties of that sequence of ordinary events/math/measure  that build that tree, that tree that does practical actions during its day, to move from the ordinary into the extraordinary.  That building, that sequence, that is the means of real conception, of real presence.  

To focus ourselves back into that, means slowing down and breathing. It means writing out of deceptions, to place our superimposed math, as series of events resonant within, to realize our own separation from who and what we are, and as that how things are done to become equal to what is constant and real, as that stone on which deceptive and unclear words are etched.  The stone is more real than those unclear words, and those words cannot exist without that stone, which is why the corps that are hidden under the guise of ‘ governance’ for the people that is moving as a reflection of the accumulated series of events within each as that projected value judgements  as the game of good and evil, that is a separation from the practical, as the living of ordinary events that effectively create the means of what we are, as physical beingness, as that which is always here, always right in plain sight.  What is religion but a distraction from what is real? 

There is reason within the reason that men are happy when they know something, when they know how to complete a series of events that create a real and sustainable living form. There is a reason why value judgements separate one from practical action, and leave a residual sense of anxiety and uncertainty.  If one has practiced value judgements over the practical, as one’s  mini- series of events,  one accumulates that math, that we can call, beliefs, opinions and ideas,  creating a mini - day schedule of spinning in value judgements eating up ones life, and missing what is in plain sight. one becomes a walking bubble of swirling colors, revealing what one has focused upon, determining one’s eventual lack of spatial ability, as one ages and turns into having difficulty walking on the ground, or up a flight of steps, because one has separated one’s self and followed the words on a stone, without any real defining of what those words mean in practical movement, as the series of events they create in real time, here.  It is, in all, a crime against life, a ception rhyme, against the measure of creation.    After all, what is a rhyme, but a series of words, as a series of events, as written down ‘ orders’ to follow, accepted and allowed, building a construct what? Is that construct sustaining and caring for this physical reality in ways that do no harm? As that principle, of and as ‘ doing no harm’  that demands real defining of practical actions as the cause and effect of a series of directives/events in the practical order of respecting all things? 

Overall, our words, must be related to the real, to the practical, to reality. Each word we speak must be in tune with this physical reality, as that tree and how it is built. It is to stop eating the fruit of that tree to sustain the illusion of ‘ good and evil’ and to instead remain steady in the practical action of respecting the physical reality as creation. This one law, is really the only law we need, it is that law of ‘ giving as one would receive’, it is the law of being equal and one, to the series of actions as events, that built this living creation all around us as the physical. If we realized the physical as creation, as us, would this world stop contracting like an aging human, getting smaller and smaller, with greater and greater extremes of weather, just as age ( a series of events as what one accumulated within one’s actions, be that a sum of value judgements within one’s self, becoming the resonant seed of ego, that is separation from reality manifest? )  brings forth greater and greater dis-ease manifest as a loss of spatial ability? 

What we are doing, as what we are allowing, is so right in front of us. The illusion, is that this is impossible to change. One need only stand, and sound the ordinary all around us, that is real so much more than that limited and tiny resonance of separation composed of value judgements within and as our words, creating our thoughts, leading our habits into actions that cause con-sequences that are not what is best and that are not in alignment with the principle of equality, as the one law, as taking that which is good and does no harm. That choice is always right here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the measure of me, within and as my thoughts of and as opinions and ideas filled with value judgements, of right and wrong, more than and less than, comparison within limited frameworks of values, separated from the practical measure/math/rhyme/sequence/ series/stories of the practical and actual real physical reality where nothing/no thing was ever done within and as thinking, as the focus of and as me, gets things done within focusing on the practical, as the ordinary on a physical reality where no one does all of what is actually physically here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I move into a belief, as an opinion, as an idea, as something being impossible, I am actually not present here, in this reality, equal and one with the practical as being the ordinary real sequence of events, as actions that create in a physical reality, here, as this is what, in all simplicity what common sense is and does.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I am not present, I am not seeing the practical ordinary steps that create.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize, and stand within and as, equal and one, with what is here, as the practical as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the words on the side of a building, as ‘ federal reserve’ say nothing about what that entity as a series of steps, which can be a frame - lacking considering of being and doing as what life is in expression, as allowing no harm, as realizing what takes that which is good and does no harm, as allowing no collateral damage, in any way shape and form, is the means to aligning all, equal and one to this creation that is physical as life would be, in all common sense, as the principle of oneness and equality being in respect of all things, realizing we are all the same, that we are not born with religion, or language, or culture as this is imposed upon us, accepted by us, where what is real, is the practical application as what and who we are, as physical life, as life would be, in all practical common sense, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and underatsnd that any thoughts within and as me, are thinking, based on a past, of and as not being in alignment with the practical as the physical, as nothing was ever done within and as thinking about it, as doing involves focus here, with all of me, as what common sense is and does, this but a slight shift, out of a resonance built within, as accepted series of value judgements separating myself from here, composed of hyper-sensationalizing, creating a roller coaster of movement within me, of a sinking and a falling, of a false positive as a high, unsustainable and thus not being of and as life, grounded and present here as presence is calm, just as when one is truly focused here, where one has a sense of knowing, as a sense that is calm and stable, consistent and steady, as I, as life, am the most perfect of forms to be and live the practical, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all that is here, is me in another life, as life information, and that any movement within and as me, as a ‘ pull’ into an inner picture show, is a hyper institutionalized ideological limited and singular state of measure that cannot withstand the text of time, because it cannot fit, as a math, into life, here, and thus is an indication of and as myself being in a state of separation from the practical living reality that is life information that is me and all around me, as the physical here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the depths of my separation, as a mis-use of the imagination, as a singular entity creating a bubble of values, as a superimposition of and as resonance, as a form of inversion, within me, as value judgements, as the story of good and bad, right and wrong, more than and less than, when I already am the ‘ more’ as the value being all around me as the physical, thus am I already here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I accept a schooling system of and as sitting in a room, with only children of the same age, following and following and following written knowledge and information, without practical application, I am in effect programming myself as a resonant bubble of limited information, creating an attention dis-order from realizing who and what I am, by design, within and as being the very nature of common sense, which is why the design of schools and media, constantly projected and limited, is always present here that is only a reflection of my own acceptance and allowances of and as separation into a hyper-sensationalized reality of and as value judgements, , as the resources freely given, of this earth are then owned by words on a page and thus only real through acceptance and allowance,  is the false story of information that is imposed, and not in alignment with common sense, as who and what I am am, as  physicality that is life information  here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I go to a ‘ climate change’ meeting, that the person/personificaiton of and as data collection being shared, and yet said to be a projection, is ideological, where if I ONLY follow such, and abdicate my own common sense, as what I live around me, as it not being warmer overall, but more of and as extremes in weather, as colder temperature dips in winter, and hotter temperature swings in summer, with stronger winds overall, that what I physically notice does not fit into that data model.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that within and as the game of fear, as the game of survival, as the game of separation from reality, as the inversion of myself as beliefs, opinions and ideas, of good and bad, right and wrong, good and evil, more than and less than, I am being shown within myself an imbalance towards what is practical and real, and if I look, a state that is lacking in calm and presence, as focus, as attention onto what is actual and real, as the practical actions on/in a physical life, as life would be, in expression, physical and always here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is one way forward, and that is to become equal and one with what is here, which means standing through the storm of nyperrealized value judgements as actions, as a lack of focus, as a lack of presence , as a lack of calm, as that hyperinflation state of being, as value judgements accepted through comparison, competition instead of acceptance of and as who and what is here, as what is real, as what is the real story of and as life, as the building blocks of the physical reality, here, in plain sight,  as real creation information in expression, that is the same as me, where no one, has ever done any one thing as things are composed of many things in union, in balance, as the very composition of life, here, which is physical, in all common sense, and to exist expresses the principle of oneness and equality, of and as to take that which is good and does no harm here. 

When and as I find myself standing anywhere here, as myself here, as a physical form, in relationship to all things that are the same as me, I breath, I remain here, I focus here, I attend to here, I lis-ten to the practical, physical reality, and I realize the tiny movement, of and as a mind consciousness system of and as all being reaction, as defense in view of threat, as that threat is a separation from being in a state of knowing, as realizing a series of events, as a story, of and as taking that which is good and does no harm, as being present in the practical reality as the physical. 

When and as I am here, in every moment, I breath, I forgive that which is not of and as a focus here, as an attention to here, I see, realize and understand, as practice, this reality, as the practical actions of and as life as physical expression,  as no thing can define me,  as all threats are of and as fear, as a state of being focused is more a state of knowing, as no thing was ever done within thinking, as all things are done with focus, on the practical, as the physical world that is life in creaiton, in expression here. 

When and as I find myself in a state of fear, as a belief in threat, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, to realize the thread, as the series of events, with hyper sensationalized values, to stop and be practical in listening, in stringing the use of associations, as a series of relationships , to realize the composure as a resonance as a belief system, always lacking real calm, real direction, real insight, as what presence in the physical is and does, here. 

Interesting. I am going to look at the word “ thread’ as I noticed a movement within and as my upper chest and neck and throat area! Thank you for reading! 

Saturday, June 24, 2017

A sense of falling Day 781

What is a sense of falling?

Why have I come to a point where I sense a movement of falling? I remember this sensation when I had to do an audition, or perform in a lesson at times. I remember saying no, and focusing instead. Somehow that focus lent a steadiness, the sense of falling ‘ not a place I wanted to go.”

It took my will to not move into falling. In time, with practice, this was always there, it was determined by me and how I focused. 

A master of a skill told me in my twenties that how I focused determined the time it took for me to learn something. It took a while but I did realize that point. From that point on, it became apparent that doing that skill, was pointless unless I focused. If I did not, how I paid attention, would follow with me. I see this, in using a tool, it shows me where I was and what was following me that I allowed.  Doing things that show one where one is, focusing on things, can reveal one to one’s self.  When we are speaking or listening, the nature of and as what we allow, can be so prevalent. It is the difference between being focused or being in that mode where what one allowed that distracted from that kind of focus remains, carried with one, because it is not sorted out.  A fear of speaking towards that, of seeing it - as I see it from my perspective - is a fear of facing that in another. Children often, remain silent amongst themselves, because they realize this,  to some degree and have probably given up in clearing it up, or realize that the person allowing this is the only place this can be cleared up.  In other words, we all know when we have not been here, it leaves a residue. Such a residue, builds a personality, and then one builds likes and dislikes, as reaction. 

This begs the question as to how we are using sound, as our words. Are our words clear of any of this, did we move with real focus and respect to and towards what is here as the actual physical world around us? Or, do our words carry a weight, as that supposed morality that we are not supposed to question as ideas of being polite, for example? 

Yet, as in my experience, those loaded with so much reaction are so due to an absence of real structure , or clarity, as we live in a world where things get done in practical ways and means. One need only look all around, at every house, at every road, as every man made thing and realize that no ONE ever did all of what was practically necessary to make that thing. No ONE. Everything around us is composed of many things, and what is composed by men has never been done so by one. Just because some one, was at some point of organization, does not make them more than another, they simply had more experience in working with how here, as the physical, is ordered, and can direct. Which begs the question as to why such ‘ living’ direction is not the awareness of all, focused here, without having a measure, as a morality, as that lack of real attention onto and as what is here, in common sense of and as how here works.  Are we as individuals caught in obstructions of our own allowances? 

There are people, who master things and realize that any one can do what they have done. This is why they come forward and teach, and share. There are those who self aggrandize and cannot see the simple and practical nature of learning. There are those who study something without ever living the practice of something, and then believe that they “ know” something. I noticed this difference within going back to school to get a teaching degree, after having actually applied something. When I was finally in the class room, I realize I learned more there, and faster than being in a room talking about teaching, reading these huge books about special moments that went on and on and on. These ‘ special’ moments where some movement in learning for a child, were made HUGE, within and as the belief that if one helps one child, one has done a good job - very limited thinking and unacceptable overall.  it is, conceptually, all a math. 

It has been said that people are uncomfortable around presence. Why would this be? Is presence that supposed ‘ light’ that ‘ cuts through all separation from real presence? Is presence, as how I am speaking about this, here, that  seeming invisible ‘ light’ that burns away all imbalances as an inner morality that has a resonance heavy with not being focused on the practical reality? It probably is that simple. It means that that which causes separation is the complication, or compilation of a lack of real focus on the practical. Since all things are sound, it can be heard. There is no escape. 

Overall, to realize that with every action, with every move, there is only one rule, one law; that is to do no harm. This means looking at what is effectively good, what is that which supports all those men, here, to do what men can do that is so visible all around us, because when we are focused, within this one law, we are happy, and we are so able to within this focus, come up with amazing new ways of doing things when we meet the unexpected.  This means we need no leaders, we need no gods, as the real expression of life, all around us, is being focused here, one and equal to what is here, in common sense of how here works that is so visible. 

One has to walk the mis-take, resonant within, to correct one’s focus, and purify one’s resonant information, pulled into shadows of and as value judgements of and as reacting to a sense of falling as one not being focused and using one’s will, as the difference between being infearfall and instead, as a steadiness stand up within this, which we are so capable of doing. One needs only to realize what does no harm. Life is a beautiful design. 

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Variations on a theme can open up possibility Day 780

Yesterday I was in my local farmer’s market. I was talking with a man who is also, in the winter, a doctor. We were talking about making pesto. Pesto is basically a mixture of greens and nuts and an oil made into a paste. 

A woman comes up, who I know to be a teacher, and says, that she can’t see pesto being made with anything other than basil and pine nuts, she said that the flavors would not be the same.  The doctor and I look at one another and move to explain that pesto can be made with many different greens and nuts. For example, one can make a paste with nettle and cashews.  I then went to say that in any area in the world, using local plants and nuts, people have made pastes and salsa like mixtures using local indigenous things for as long as human record and memory has brought forward.  Even a stew is made from local things. It is all mixtures in varying forms.  I mean what is a ‘ mole’ but a paste made from chocolate beans, or seeds etc. What is tahini but a paste made from sesame seeds. 

The woman blinked her eyes and became quiet. She was processing all this practical perspective.  

I looked at her and said, “ can you see how we lose our own creative and critical thinking when we believe that one thing is how things should be, despite what is right in front of us? Silence. I did not expect anything less, it was a moment where I realized I would get no answer. It was to only open up perspective in as gentle a way as possible.  I sometimes do that, and have had that done to me. At the moment, I can say something like,  “ I never looked at it that way, duh!” I can even laugh at my own limitation, and enjoy the exposure of my own ignorance because it opens things up. It is a moment of realization or seeing, and obvious self capacity to understand which is actually very cool. It means that I can see.  It also opens up possibility. And, it also begs the question; “ where else in my world have I done this!?” 

It was one of those moments, a tiny anecdotal movement comes forward that can expose how stuck we can become, and the endless possibilities that are all around us in every moment if we only step out of belief and realize the many forms of creation available to us that are always here. 

Cultural icons are cool things, they can teach us about the world if we look at them in common sense of how they fit into this reality and the natural environment from which they came. They define and yet are not fixed at the same time. They tell a story about a place and a time, which can be used, as a form, to understand the greater whole. This, in effect, can teach us about the greater whole. How cool is that? 

Thursday, June 15, 2017

The distraction of the #obstructionist Day 779

Usually, in the morning I wake up and something comes forward within me. This morning, subsequent to talking to someone the day before about learning, what came up is how what we inform ourselves, as what we allow to be placed within ourselves and comes to automate the body. Much like a vaccine is supposed to automatically protect us from a potential pathogen. 

We supposed a future event, and we supposed how something works, and we rush to prevent that event, or look for another way to inform us. Schools as they are now formed, are meant to prepare us for the ‘ real’ world ( of adults).  We go to memorize a form, as a scaffold, of information to ‘ ready’ us for the ‘ real world.’ How can integrating a set body of information, without real experience, lend real knowing? 

Juxtapose this to ‘ forms’ that have come to me in conversations as “ I can’t meditate,” or “ I tried to learn a musical instrument, but I just could not get it.”  Both of these responses show a lack of real self discipline, or, a loss of an ability to FOCUS. How is what is natural come to be believed as something impossible? 

What is it that distracts one from focusing? What is it that distracts one from what we do every day, as focus on something? Why is it that we cannot focus on something that is right here, right in front of us? Could it have to do with forcing something into us, as information without real living practical application? 

We understand that when we practice something, it begins to move with more ease, as automate, meaning, we do not have to “think” about it as much, meaning we do not have to focus on the movement as much because our ability in focusing on it, allows it to be so well known that we can move through it much faster. Our ability to process the form increases in tandem with our ability to place our presence within something. This would mean that we direct what we focus on, and that what we focus on integrates and expedites with recognition within and as our ability to move through it. 

This begs the question as to what we are informing our children as, as memorizing information in a box, in a school? Considering the compounding out of synch behaviors in so many children, can we not realize that a lack of real focus ability is and can only be a consequence of misinforming ourselves? Have you ever really slowed down to LOOK at an autistic child.

Would someone who was mis-informed, become increasingly frustrated to the degree that their lack of effective in - formation causes a reaction of violence/ resistance/ lack of ease, as what frustration is, because what has become to be automated does not allow real self direction in reality? And would a child by the time they are in their late twenties realize that a quarter of their life has passed - because they do have awareness - and that they have no real self control because the information they absorbed is not effective in tandem with their physical dysfunction that in itself is a mis-use of self as life as a starting point absorbed by body in reflecting this same state from one’s environment, that they become so angry, so frustrated there is nothing else but to express complete and udder con- fusion of their lack, because they are a CON- fusion of information that is not lending effective focus and self directive capacity leading to a real effective self creation?  If one really LOOKS is this not what one would see, or realize on some level? We are the most effective machines that can sense this, which reveals great capacity. By and as our real natures, we do want to sort this out, just as, as children, we move to sort, to understand, to absorb and frame, to desire to participate. These drives are natural. We know them. We can forgive what hinders this real nature. 

As well, why are we not using the function of the physical body, as that very thing informed, the way the body was meant to be, as processing viruses and bacteria through the lens of itself, as the layers of the body that “ read” and process what is physically here? Why are we forcing such, directly into the body, like a short cut, without realizing and respecting the functioning of the “ real world” as the physical world that we are supposedly “ preparing” out bodies for? 

Supposedly, the system makes of each a commodity, based on potential growth and “ creation” as a being on earth, via trading one’s projected potential and worth as a sum of money, as being one’s “ account” from which one borrows. Overall, this means that a financial system does the same, a future projection, as an entity, as a structure, assuming the life of one, for gain, of which one has no control, as one borrows on potential and pays back more than what one borrowed, causing a game of musical chairs where inevitably one does not find a seat as one has no control over one’s potential having abdicated it to some authority as a belief that one is not enough, yet that ‘ not enough’ is the false morality accepted and allowed, only seen through a rejection of reality, as the physical and real landscape called life in what it must be, which is creation, as what the physical world is. 

All of the above are scaffolds as forms, working to suppress and control each and every one. This can only have the authority we give it. If comes back to each not realizing effective use of what self as within and as how the physical world works and is the means to learn to express the life that is one. If one cannot master one’s focus, and one’s body is trying to move backwards in a way, against it own natural ability to process, and one is in a construct where the monetary digits of one’s “ creative worth’ are all forms of con-fusing who and what one is, and one does not realize this, as one is so distracted from a lack of real and equal structural awareness to the physical as mis-informed theory ONLY without practical application, where is the beingness of ourselves going to end up?  What is cognitive dissonance? 

Human beings are happy when they really know something. There is a calm sense of expression, and within that, a more clear way forward to the next step. When we really know something, we are no longer thinking, as nothing was ever done through thinking about it, it is, when effective, done with really KNOWING something, that ability to be the master of one’s self, and place one’s presence in something within an effective self direction of one’s presence into the real and living thing as the physical form. 

Thus, when we tell ourselves that “ we cannot do something,” as understand and KNOW something, within effective self direction, we are revealing ourselves to ourselves, as having lost an ability to focus effectively.  And, since we inform as automate what we practice, the lack of focus would mean that there are resonant forms within us, we follow, that are distracting us from real and effective and natural focus on reality. 

Within all of this, what would the proverbial “ eye of the needle’ really mean?  What would it mean when someone says “ we should be able to hear the grass grow” ? It would mean that who and what we really are, is the capacity to KNOW, to really sense, to really see what is that “ reality’ we are supposedly prepared for as adults! 

Therefor, hope without action is meaningless, faith without command is pointless, and knowledge and information without the experience of practical application is useless. Each without living awareness in practical application, is the outcome of a mis-informed set body of information, and a informed inner resonant scaffold that is mis-using the presence that is the means of focusing on the small, the large, and the relationships between physical things as expressions as life that are who and what we are, that are all of the same substance, that are all here in plain sight. 

The way to real happiness, is to focus on the physical, to the degree that one would understand that one could with steady and consistent practice, build a stable ability to place one’s presence into the form and function of that instrument, to effectively build the ability to be in union with that instrument, just as one did with one’s body before all the information of and as the dogma of religion and politics were absorbed as the limited forms of belief, from an environment where the human beings were already a construct of mis-information! ( which reveals to us the great sensibility that is inherent our capacity! ) 

We have to ask ourselves what we see when we have someone standing in front of us that we realize has a huge emotional firewall around them. We have to ask ourselves why there exists any form of conflict within all of this? As the resistance to becoming one with an instrument is a reflection of one’s natural ability not being in effective movement and focus. And, this means that one has lost control of one’s natural ability to be and do so. It means that one is not focused HERE. It means that what one ‘ thinks’ one knows, is distracting one from real presence in reality.  One’s within, is not equal to the without. One’s resonant information, is followed ABOVE what is real, as that instrument, as the grass growing. When one finds one’s self shaking, as a reaction to something - perhaps another form of resonant information- it means that one is reacting in the same expression as flight and fight mode within not realizing that one’s resonant information is being questioned or believed to be in threat where one is stuck in one’s resonant idol of information. That reaction, as resistance, is but a smaller form of that autistic child who has by the time they are in their late twenties, the same form of violence as frustration in not being able to move effectively in this “ reality” that we are supposed to be “ prepared for” within our present educational system. 

It is a math of inequality. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself  to abdicate my own and natural self responsibility as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand this life, this reality, this physical expression of life, here, in plain sight.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to do the real math of and as the physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I react, as shake within and as my body, I am revealing myself to myself, within and as not being in synch with who and what  I am as a physical being, as realizing all things in expression are relationships of and as values, composing life, as all that is, that is here, and would by design be physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand within and as me, as resistance to here, being a separation of and as limited values, as a picture, as sound components as words, allowed and accepted by me,in myself not realizing that all is me, here, of and as the same substance of and as what becomes expression in formation, here, as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and stand equal and one to and with what is here all around me, as a living relationship in and of and as expressing life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and stand with to correct what friction and conflict I allow within me, that has a nature of a subtle to greater movement of shaking, as behaviors of wanting to run away, or wanting to push against, or wanting to deny, or wanting to gain something, based on my own inner ideological idol of information , resonant and separate, moving more slowly, though appearing to move fast, as the story of information I accepted in separation from being in practical application with what is real and what is all around me, is a limited story line that I can move through as a construct with seeming speed, just as I am able once I really know an instrument, for example, as I gain mastery I can move with more ease within that form, so does my imagination of limited information as a construct of values of and as limited relationships charged with values and of and as a state of not really knowing something, and thus causing and living a dis-ease manifest in the very movements of and as my body, of which is now in extreme behaviors of separation existent in increasing degrees as the children with autism, that reflect lesser extremes of the same behaviors, in the world around me, and thus I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand my own separation from being present and equal to here, that which I am able to be, as the capacity towards separation can also be the capacity towards equality and oneness with what is real, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that when and as I find myself complaining, I am not being present and in relation to what is real as the physical world here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that movements within and as me as muscle tensions are myself living the information I accepted and allowed to define me, that does not automate my presence, into being at ease and in communication with and as what is here, that is the same as me, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and stand with, inequality and oneness, what is here, and resisting this within and as ignoring what is right in front of me, here, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that  within and as my separation I am quite literally watching a shadow world in and as my mind, where the knowledge and information I accepted and allowed is within my physical body, in the very muscles as these muscles are what tense up, as restrict as the information I accepted and allowed as me, does not fit, is not equal to, what is real, as the physical, and when and as I focus on this limited resonant construct I lose all real focus on this reality, and move to force my resonant belief system onto this reality, to survive, in self interest, and in some place within myself, I realize what it is that I am doing, and the real shame within and as me, is this realization that I see, realize and understand what it is that I am allowing, and for this I forgive myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all my resistance in and as my behaviors of in effect self hate, as they are myself in resistance to life as the physical as the practical here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that, for example, when I do not recognize a person I have known more from a distance, and upon meeting them up close without recognition, I am revealing myself to myself as living within set planes of time, as value judgements indicating a separation from being in awareness as being present, in this physical and practical reality here, as this is life, as this is creation here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to trust myself, within and as realizing to some extent what I was seeing within my autistic nephew, before Desteni, where I asked the question through describing what I was seeing within him, that he looked like he was completely out of synch in some way, like a mix up of all the anxieties within my family, thus, I can see, realize and understand what is here as the separation from who and what we really are as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I resist something, within and as seeing here, sensing something is out of tune, to stop and NOT ONLY define, and realize separation within and as my secret self, but to bring this forward and speak up, to speak out, beyond reactions as all reactions are the process of sorting things out, and are but a slow processing as a dimension of a sequence of belief, as a timed event, in a world of and as no time, as the physical as being present, and to see realize and understand by degree as the small ignored as the practical, to bring things back down into focus here, to rebuild presence in equality and oneness with and as what is real here, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my nephew, in his teens when visiting walks around in his own world, having conversations with himself, as so many of us do, within and as not being present here, within and as not realizing that nothing was ever solved within thinking, but in practical application here, in respect of what is real as this ‘ reality’ we are ostensibly taught to function within and as as the ‘ good’ promoted by the present school design, which is a format that though touting a good, is acting in building a separation from this reality, and the means to cause separation as manipulation of information which if accepted is the responsibility of and as being in self abdication of and as self as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate myself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to investigate all forms as all actions from an authority as a system of men, that is a consequence of myself not being in self responsibility of and as who and what I am as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that consequence of my own lack of real presence in this reality, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to be present here, in this reality.

When and as I find myself resisting, within and as being tense, as opposed to being in focus, where I know and feel more stable, as a state we all know, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down and I realize a living relationship as who and what I am to this reality here, as the physical.

When and as I find myself believing that being here means a loss of something, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, equal and one to who and what I am, as a living relationship, as relating to what is here, in practical applicative terms to practice rebuilding the substance in and as who and what I am as life, to see directly here, to create equality and oneness in presence of this reality here.

When and as I find myself moving into anxiety, I stop and I breath and I assess and investigate the emotional pulls as the polarities within and as me as beliefs, opinions and ideas, and I forgive what is a hyper inflated value judgement to ground myself here, equal and one within and as breath, to here, to creation that is life in formation.

When and as I find myself acting in self interest, as not considering all things I stop and I breath and I ground myself here, in the physical to respect life.

When and as I find myself moving into self pity, I slow down, I stop and I breath, and I assess myself as the focus of what I am allowing within and as projections, resistances and self imaginations to realize consequential protections and defenses as reactions of and as fear, moving into judgement, as disempowerment, as hate, a actions of blame and spite towards others and against self, into my own constructed sense of and as feeling overwhelmed and a belief in the impossible when I am possible as the ability to transform and change in a moment to not act  in self interest, as an act of separation from this living reality that is physical, to instead realize practical applications in thought word and deed in accord with this reality as creation as the physical here.

When and as I find myself reacting within and as believing something to be impossible, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand how my own separations are a busyness in a narrow value judgement, as words moving nowhere, to see, realize and understand that patterns of value judgements of and as protection and defense, as a shadow world of a personification of limited values, here, I stop and I breath, and I realize the pulling of the strings of value judgements as a means of manipulation with few words, probably at a sixth grade level - so to speak- as separation is composed of limitation, thus to speak to the limited construct and lend real structure to and towards bringing hyperinflation as ideas, beliefs and opinions, back down to earth, as this is the ‘ zone of proximal development “ of and as separation from self as life, here, thus to speak to that, which means to manipulate, and yet in the order of what is best for all, here, to begin to journey to reverse life, into equality and oneness here.