Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Day 613 Self Forgiveness on this Morning's Rant. I am what I accept and allow.

SF on Suppression

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear following through, to fear moving out of agreement within a narrow focus in perspective of reality with others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have made the mis-take of reality, in my dealings with others, as I allowed myself to remain within self interest based on a fear of thwarting what was around me as the focus of other’ within my world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand my own stuckness conceptually within which limited my perception of reality without, and lead to stagnation within and as me into and as a lesser expression composed of value touting within a very narrow focus, an entity within the machine of and as me as my human physical body as a mind consciousness of limited structure that became physically integrated as the information of and as me, this that I accepted and allowed, where there is no one to blame, no one to spite, simply to become a directive principle of being aware, using my common sense, to respect all life as the physical and to see, at this point, the structures manifest as the present financial system that limits access to exposure and opportunity to grow and accept/ become the innate ability of men, to care for their world around them and to develop in awareness of the practical physical world here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to tout a good, in a very narrow focus, in self interest and gain, without looking at the consequences of my narrow self interest and what such ignores and does not consider within the broader physical world in which I live, to see, realize and understand the total machine of life as the physical, to connect with this unawareness, as mind,  I have allowed and to bring this into awareness as this is real living, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the inner conflict of limited values where the good touting is what defines me, this based on ignoring the whole, creating a bad of my own common sense, in and as not looking at the whole and the parts, and suppressing/ignoring/resisting/ shutting down/ running from/ fearing to face/ my own sensibility as my natural ability as life to absorb the world around me, my natural learning ability, my common sense, my own ability to conceptualize the form and function of this means of life as this physical world, which necessitates a direct connection to, awareness of, respect for, direct seeing/being in connection with.
I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that the suppression of myself as life, has become a habit, like a broken record, like a dis-eased entity, like a fearful ghost, like an angry demon, like a embittered man, like a lack of connection, like a slow-moving-conceptually- blob of spewing value over practical reality - stuck in this persona of embroidered justifications, creating a techno colored dream coat of pictures justifying my own existence consuming the very flesh of me as life, continuing the separation from life that I accepted and allowed until that life is gone, a life that never connects to life, and as such ends up trespassing on life instead of becoming one and equal with what is eternal, which is realizing the value is life, here, as life the substance of life which is nothing into expression/movement as informing as the physical world.
I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that I must as an expression of life forgive my trespasses as ego against life, which is the act of deconstruction of myself into reconstruction through writing and self corrective measurable sounding and action as accepting life through self forgiveness of what self has accepted and allowed to define self in self interest in separation from self as life as self as the sound of common sense here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  believe that there is conflict in expressing life awareness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe I must answer to limitation to survive.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear moving in common sense of here, as this is the only choice.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear resistance to change.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to  look at comfort zones in fear of the slowing down to look movement and redirection movement in changing the awareness platform as idea made comfortable conceptually to define, embedded and as such a process of walking the movement into change, to rebuild, to return to self as life to connect to the physical world, to realize practical reality, to find the ease of self here, no longer trespassing on life, but becoming one and equal to and as life here.
I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that reaction is reaction to change, where the process is to realize one’s starting point and to expand in awareness to and with the whole as the physical.
Self Corrective Writing
When and as I find myself  becoming a falling liquid as mind, from my head area, a heavy unclear syrup that is not of ease, like  pristine water, like a clearness that is like a lens of seeing directly and becoming that of direct seeing as conceptually being able to move with ease into the only choice in and as solution within awareness of what is best for all, I stop and I breath and I assess what I am allowing as belief, opinion and idea, and I stop, I slow down, and I evaluate what I am perceiving as this accepted and allowed entity of limited insight and personification of limited values and resisting common sense as the bad entity that will pop the bubble of self definition that I accepted and allowed, and here to see realize the conflict as my resistance to being and doing and moving as self as life here, which is in application, the directive as the principle of what is best for all is best for self.
When and as I find myself feeling loopy within and as me, I slow way down and I breath, and I do not allow myself to feel unworthy or less than, or guilty, or ashamed, I accept and forgive what I have accepted and allowed, and I walk myself back into being connected with practical reality in accepting myself as life, and realizing that that which I had made a bad as an idea is of a different quality other than my own cultural constructs only and does not define me- thereby becoming limited in and as a belief that this negating could cancel my own self definitions - and to also realize that undercurrent of my own common sense, which I have allowed myself to suppress in fearing to look at the whole as the physical  and be  myself as life, within  myself  my common sense ability to accept self responsibility as life, here.

                             http:lite.desteniiprocess.com


Friday, February 20, 2015

Day 612 Despair and Space and Time, Self Forgiveness

Despair, I have been talking with my son about relationships and reactions when facing other people.
I gave him some perspective. I realized  later that the perspective I gave him I had not applied myself, or had applied recently and discovered something about being patient and gentle, within the understanding that being patient moved me through into a mutual understanding with another instead of a reaction leading to a mis-understanding.
Within being patient, I was not reacting, but standing the ground within what brought solution, which gave direction.What I found in this instance, specifically was that in repeating myself when talking with another, often lead to a point of understanding. Structurally, this patient repetition, a spaced repetition, through a storm of resistance, the argument of limitation as what one feared or believed that had no real stability, meant for me to remain within being gentle, humble and consistent in my words through this storm of reaction as belief that was in essence not clear, as it was based on some inner desire instead of what made sense in a physical world. Interesting that the physical world is always here, all ways here, bringing the practical movement, holding one gently if we only accepted it and allowed it because it shows the way of no harm, the way of creation, and all the parts that order in ways that are good.
I had spent time with another person, and it took time, with many moments where I felt uncertain, believing that my words were not getting through, as though I made an idol of my words, wanting instant and immediate understanding without realizing that reaching through automated self expression meant working one’s way through this to a point where this exhausted itself and an opening appeared where that point of vulnerability arrived and one stood there open because all had been said, because all had been exposed and either one resisted another or accepted them. but it is this point where within that vulnerability a connection can be made. For me, it was more like, “ yes I have listened, taken the good, and I am here, and I am not rejecting you, I am still here” Overall, this created a situation of calm, of acceptance, of a seemingly safe place to be where each could be themselves.
In the space and time measure, as the rhythm of things moving here, on this earth, conceptually the length and duration of these movements can be understood and timed within a practical application that considers these things, and yet if we have not learned to interact with all of this conceptually, like listening to an orchestral piece, we do not develop the means to direct ourselves here, and our memories are not of the practice of becoming aware of this space and time construct we live in.
The very use of time as a measure as our system, is what places a rigidity into our lives that separates us from practical reality, and yet the measure of space and the duration of the expression of what is here, is a measuring that self empowers each of us. So, the parts are not bad, but when used to separate as control into limitation of being aware, are such means a distraction from reality. And yet what started this? Was it each of us, because we chose to ignore one thing over another, not realizing what in essence what we were doing was comparing apples to oranges instead of seeing creation for what it is, an expression of which we were the same, and of which could change, so one form was us in another form, and that that other form could direct us into more understanding and discovery to the point where we could further play as creators of life information?
So, when I despair, I essentially have believed there was no way through, but here I have to ask myself to where I was going through to? I had to slow down and become equal in understanding with the moment, which means looking at reality and not the shadows of belief in and as my mind, from a system that propagated thinking over cross referencing practical reality, because being caught in thought only, was being in a metaphysical construction, a paranormal existence that forgot reality, and lost the movement of forgiving to the physical total state of being to cross reference what was for real and this being all of existence.
In despair I have lost a sense of space, and become the measure of my belief system, one that is extremely limited as mind. As mind is dependent on the physical, it has its own space to exist, and as such it lasts in bursts. As it has no real substance, and as it exists in the wobble of limitation, which is denial, and then moves into justification, it reaches a point of play out and then opens the silence, and thus the space to assess and realize separation. Structurally, if I stand as what is best for all, and repeat this, in the moment, if my words are clear, and I am open to change in subtle degree within that which is good and does no harm, that can remain. This need nothing other than being gentle and patient, because the strength of what can withstand the test of time , need only be gentle, much like the water on this earth is gentle. Even water can be gentle when frozen, all fluffed up as snow, and even steam can be gentle, washing around one warming the skin. lol.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to despair
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to use my own common sense as who I am as life to sense space and the imposition of time as a regimented system of control based on a belief stuck in comparison moving into competition because of a separation from creation as life information, as sound formation that just as water can change.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that an idea defines me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I cannot change.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to accept what is here in this moment, and to stand here in this moment accepting what is here, understanding it and enjoying it as life, as it reflects me to me, where I then can change in my understanding.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to criticize another in support of my own self interest as idea believing that something will be lost if an idea I have about myself changes.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that creation is always creating, and as such, changes, which means I am in constant change, and yet this is the way and the means into understanding creation here, accepting life information.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to be patient, without fear of change, as the physical does not change in an instant, but transforms, thus change is a process, one that moves in ways that I can understand and participate within and as myself as the very words I know, to commune with life as the physical, to participate in creation as what I am.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become patient and gentle and humble, in my interactions with the physical life around me, to slow down and equalize with this creation, to see directly the muse of creation, of which I am an equal substance of and as, and as such to not despair, but to join in the community of life as the physical here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush within the game of survival, as ideas, beliefs and opinions as mind, a metaphysical existence of self interest and self aggrandizement in separation from remaining equal and one in conceptual consideration and respect of all life, which is the physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and remain within and as my common sense, gentle and humble as what sense here is and does, to see realize and understand the measure of here as the physical and the mind in separation that cries limitation - that runs out of steam, that compares and within comparison fears a loss of self definition and competes to validate a self definition that is overall a separation from self as life and creation.
When and as I find myself reacting to limitation and self validation, within and without, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, to become patient and gentle, which is to fear no loss, to place myself within what holds me as the silence of eternity, to stand in cross reference of physical reality within and as what does no harm, and what self empowers another to understand the practical measuring of here is forgiving of and as common sense to see function and form which  gives answers when questioned to look at the parts and understand, taking the time to realize physical creation to then move in ways that do no harm.
When and as find myself moving into resistance as to what another says as idea, belief, and opinion, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that nothing can define me but what I accept and allow, and that form can be understood, assessed, examined and considered and then directed in practical common sense ways as this is the capacity of myself as life here, as this is with all men, as physical being on earth, when given the space and time and support physically to do so as each is the very substance of and as life here.
When and as I find myself believing that all is lost, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I realize the nature of myself as life is like water, that the common sense of me as me, is gentle and can cross reference reality here and understand the space and form as the physical in creation and investigate with the innate ability of and as me to cross reference and take in information here, to self empower me to take that which is good and does no harm.
When and as I find myself moving into despair, I stop and I breathe and I forgive myself to practical reality, understanding that with spaced repetition I can stand in thought word and deed within and as what is best for all here.






Sunday, February 15, 2015

Day 611 The courage of water

The courage of water
I have had a problem in my chest for a while. It has taken time to begin to slow down the protective shield based on ideas, beliefs and opinions. And, that what I have allowed is so habituated, as my actions, in reaction based on fear, which is myself accepting and allowing an inferiority to life, as life would be what is best for all, as an expression, because the real purpose is creation, in and as what does no harm, what takes that which is good and does no harm, transforming in a moment, fearing not an expression, because the structure as the physical shows the way, in form and function.
Sometimes this movement in my chest becomes warm, like a liquid, and other times I can feel it tensing up, as I allow a program of moral righteousness and/or an idea of competition, where I compare myself to another within allowing a very limited ideology/belief/conception/perspective.
Other times, it feels like a hole is in my chest, where I have not caught up in practical application as my own structural alignment with being here, focusing here.
Water is here, it has the courage as is its nature to mold into every form here, even into the very rocks of this earth, through the layers of clay underground, into everything, and everything is of this substance, this water.
Thus, I can become any accepted belief, as being such in a moment, to understand need not define me as who I am here, in a moment, because the next moment comes and with this change, just as water changes and circulates and moves on this earth. In this respect water is courage, and courage is water -like. And we were told that we had to move from the heart, on this earth, that is our hearth, here; hearing heaven here is allowing the courage like substance as water as self as life here when aligned as this nature as self as life, using the abstract making quality of the mind - that which can become a concrete embedded structure that lacks common sense directive when held as hallow ground as being more than that from which it builds its program. This is in essence playing god, leading nowhere, which means the now of time, here, and we have been told that time is the illusion. So, the joke is on you - mindbot. lol, it is a saying that reveals its outcome, mind  only bottoms you out, like a pyramid scheme will eventually bottom out as is happening here on earth unless we become our real nature, that of courage, which is the nature and characteristic of water, which happens in the heart, the earth, the hearth, I mean there is a reason why the sounds in these words are the same. Is there not? It is like the pictograph of the word heart, as the ‘h’ is like a chair, and that chair ‘h’ is before the ear - the hearing/hereing  of self in the cross roads, as the cross, as the ‘t.’  So it is the choice to sit on the chair and stare/stair the shadows on Plato’s wall as one’s experiential mental map that has now manifested into a system of same limitations or to become equal and one to the physical, to make the choice to respect the physical as life in formation, and to accept self as life and become equal and one as a creator. It is to accept the transformative quality of self and direct from this to develop and return to the means to pass through the eye of the needle into eternity as becoming equal and one to the essence that is life. This way and means with which we are born, that has been moved into some fantasy world of religion and consumerism,  is much simpler than lead to believe as the action is a practical one, which is right here in front of us; we need only accept this, because in reality it is freely given. Time to put down the apple and return to the presence of the tree. Then maybe the tree will become the choice of freedom, the tree, when becoming equal in awareness to it, one comes under the dome of freedom.
You have the courage, as what you are to stand and equalize to here. This is to choose freedom, to begin the process of alignment to life, as the physical, and to realize that each part reflects and as such substantiates who you are as a creator because who you really are as life fits perfectly into life.
The process of self forgiveness is to forgive the judgements of being inferior or superior, of removing comparison and competition, to equalize through stopping the voices of one’s past of uncertainty and the voices of a lineage of ancestors that were not themselves equal to life as including the physical world as life - caught in an idea of something greater that is and was a metaphysical construct in separation from reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not listen, to within this, not see, realize and understand that I can become what another believes, opinions, or idealizes as such cannot define me, but I can understand as the nature of courage as that being like water, to realize the conception of another and to take this and bring this into a from that takes that which is good and does no harm.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge, to become inferior to what is here, and /or superior in fear of loss of what I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined in and as, and within this, to use meta-physical mental action to understand and equalize understanding and then to take this and move this into what does no harm , taking that which is good and referencing practical physical reality to consider all life, as the physical and begin to rebuild a life on earth that considers all things in ways that do no harm, to create heaven on earth, and as such to live with courage as is the real nature of my myself as the word courage is the word heart.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my ego is my accepted and allowed metaphysical ideology in separation from accepting the gift of life in manifestation which is the physical world here, right in front of me.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand my own accepted and allowed separation into ideas, beliefs and opinions where I move as judgement, resisting that which limits or does not substantiate my survival character, as my self definition that was built in self interest only, separating me from myself as life, rejecting life as it rejected the physical, this physical being the way and the means of myself here as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have rejected the courage of myself as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that bring right was a fixed thing, when being here, in consideration of practical reality as the physical was “ righting” myself here, with every breath, to cross reference practical reality and participating in creation as the physical becoming sound with and as the means of life as the physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that being here, accepting the physical is real substantiation to and as life here.
When and as I find myself thinking only, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, to become equal and one to and as the physical to substantiate life, as the physical here.
When and as find myself wanting to be right, I stop, and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I listen, I hear, to bring myself here, equal and one with the physical, to begin to walk with and as the practical measure as the physical world, to become equal in sound with the physical, and thus substantiating myself here as life.
When and a s I find myself moving into fear, I stop, I slow down, I breath, I realize where I have not taken the time to be courageous and slowed down to understand the conceptual form around me, and I take the time to investigate and to discover that which is good and does no harm, here.
When and as I find myself believing that I must protect myself in fear of loss of something as an idea, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand that the space is here, and that this is eternal, thus I have the time to slow down and review, as investigate all things, listening to hear the heart of the matter, and to reflect on this, and move this into what would be best for all because what is best for all is best for myself here, and to be thankful and grateful for all expression around me, as the expression around me is perspective of this reality, and as such, if I allow this, builds my own courage as life, as this expands my awareness of and as life here.




Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Day 610 The False Positive of the Halo of Piety


“ Pity is about how deeply I can feel,  and in order to feel this way, to experience the rush of my own pious reactions, I need victims the way an addict needs drugs” wrote the the late political theorist Jean Bethke Eishtain. 

I hear of this state of being, an energetic state of being, in the above video. The speaker, tells of a woman who served in a church for 30 years, who distributed Christmas baskets every year to those in need. She went to her local politician and asked why not give those in need the money to go and purchase their own needs themselves. Yes, this was a good question, an excellent one.
When he woman posed this question to her church group, they responded by saying that they would not have the opportunity to be charitable anymore!

What kind of world do we live in when we choose to get high off of an ideological good that does not really “ teach a man to fish”? Is an individual  energetic addiction to feeling good through a facade of piety personification  precede what is best for a person? Under the guise of a halo effect? In the name of accumulating wealth? As this is what the church was in fact. It was a legerdemain done to create a commodity of the soul, to flow wealth into the hands of a few. In the end we fell for this, so we cannot blame anyone but ourselves for abdicating our own common sense, the gift of life.

If we want life, we must give life. This means giving the means to be life, which means giving what allows that life in that being, as that form, to have what a physical form needs to flourish and live with the physical body sensing absolutely,  Meaning using the senses to answer/respond/understand and act accordingly in ways that are effective in and as doing no harm, taking that which is good, being sound and stable and equal with the practical measure of physical reality, because the physical is creation information. 

That halo of piety is an emotionally energetic drug fix. It serves only an imagination, a false idol, that is a few feet off the ground, on which it is dependent to project. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what is in my mind is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become righteous with piety
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be addicted to piety, to believing that in no longer having victims I will not be able to do good, and get my fix of piety as an idea in and as my mind of being good.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate myself as life, in the name of an idea, limited in self interest, not stopping to look and solve the problems of poverty and lack because it would mean that I would no longer have my fix of piety, of righteousness as an idea of being more because of a perpetuating act of doing good that I would lose if I taught a man to fish, or allowed  a man to live a life in dignity, in expression as life, as a physical being on a physical planet.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that structural violence my act of charity, before life, done in self interest, allows to the life around me as the physical, as the physical is life, that which has the value of being life, and the practicality in design and function as to what needs would do no harm, take that which is good and allows behaviors that are the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow, as this is the behavior of building sustainability, constancy, and ease, in all physical forma of life, which means to give as one would want to receive, here.
When and as I find myself wanting to do good, to create an egotistical ideological self definition, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that what I am running from as in allowing an act of charity to define me as being pious, I am running from that which I seek, which is myself as life, myself as that which moves within and as a purpose of supporting life, through respecting the physical as life information, as creation, where I pay attention to practical, physical reality, and give as I would want to receive which is to allow life to flourish in dignity, supporting the physical world in ways that do no harm, as this is accepting all life, and realizing the value is life.

When and as I find myself objectifying giving as in placing one time objects to give in a basket, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that this is not direct giving, with and as myself as my heart, here, substantiating the life before me, as in listening, and understanding, and directing, in ways that allow self discovery, as in giving a person the means to fish for themselves - so to speak, as the physical form of men can and will absorb what is of opportunity as the physical world around them, as is the design of the physical body, to allow life to express and absorb the form and function of life information which is the physical creation that is earth here.



Sunday, February 1, 2015

Day 609 The Worry for Security

So much of my time during the years with my children was worry about remaining stable and being secure. This was in tandem with watching my children. From the time my second child was seven this was a large part of what I worried about. Even when my children were really small and my husband and I decided that remaining with them during the day was what would be best, I remember having thoughts that it unnerved me not to have job, not to be making sure I was secure, because I equated security with money, and felt that depending on someone else made me vulnerable. I even remember thinking to myself to calm me down, “ it is okay.”
Because of this, I have this chatter in my mind where I am constantly thinking about being secure, that I cannot depend on the system, or my family, or anyone but myself. Not that this desire to be responsible is a bad, but the occupation of the whole desire as thoughts in and as my mind, as wanting to have the means to be stable. Now that I am older and my children are out of the house, I include them.

If I allow this to be so much of what motivates/occupies me, and/or what I find I am creating pictures of in my mind as some event that might come along and disturb this, and/or what I feel would be the scenario where I am in that kind of security, I am not actually here fully. And the past as this fear, remains with me, and I find I move into the imagination as it, missing what people say at times, or putting things off because with all this chatter going on, I have abdicated my own focus here, and stopping this inner drama appears to be too difficult. Walking self forgiveness has helped quiet this storm, investigating our present sold system structures  as our government and our financial system, has helped because knowing the structure of here, and investigating how anything works gives clarity into necessary actions.  Also, in becoming more practically clear, the backchat becomes smaller, yet I notice it still exists, I just pull it back and direct because in the end I can only live here, as this is a physical form of creation, which is simply common sense. That what is real is hidden right in front of us, is in itself a red flag. If we look at so many of our systemic beliefs, the physical is demonized in so may ways. This is us rejecting life. And yet, that which is right in front of us, reveals itself in every way, showing the way forward. Unless we believe that the voices in our minds define us, and/or are real, not stopping to look at what thought is in reality overall. It really is like an echo, a susurrus occupation in the background of fear, of rejection of being here with creation.
So, I forgive the ideas, beliefs and opinions in and as my mind, I write them out, then correct them to focus myself here directly, to become one and equal with and as creation as the physical here. Then can I see here, pass through the eye of the needle and remain stable with physical reality, being directive through moving as what does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to worry.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from myself as life as my common sense, and to allow the voices in and as my mind to be what I am here, instead of standing here, equal and one with and as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must have a job, where I earn money to feel secure and stable in a physical world where the physical is the life I am as me here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to occupy my life with and as back chat of fear in not being stable because I do not have a job and as such will not have the money as the means to remain stable here, not stopping to question why money has come to determine life on earth, when the value is being physical and as such respecting and moving and building a system that respects simple existence as allowing the full potential of life as the physical flourish which means room to change and transform, to expedite and develop creation which would allow all the focus that is the fulfillment of purpose in and as creation here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a voice in and as my mind of “ it is okay” to placate the fear that I feel which overall is an act of ignoring the whole, as the part that is me as a human being in creation as what I am here on earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand immediately those moments where I separate myself from here, existing as knowledge and information as idea  only without practical application, and as such accepted this format without asking questions,  abdicating myself as life, as my common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as this, I become a physical movement within and as me as energy as thoughts as memories, that separates the focus of me, as my common sense from here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become inferior to life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in this separation I allowed this inner back chat to define me, instead of remaining here, equal and one to and with the physical world, creation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine security
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine security being taken away.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in imagining security or the lack thereof, I am in essence not here, looking here directly with and as that which is the value, which is being here, which is physical.
I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding the lack of ease as me this separation creates, which is a focus on limitation only and not a community with creation as this physical world as this earth here, as this is where solutions exists because this is myself here, as my own common sense of reality that is me.
I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding how this separation confines me, binds me, holds me in a very narrow view of that which is the means of me as the physical here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how this inversion of and as me, builds a resistance to seeing directly here as what I am as a physical being as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how the tension of this stagnates me, not allowing the ease of and as me as my common sense, to accept what is here as the physical, being and expressing with gratitude as the principle of life, which is the principle of equality and oneness, the principle of take that which is good and does no harm, the principle of give as one would receive, the principle of respecting the means and the ways of life being which is the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject what is in front of me, as I have allowed myself to be tied to ideas, beliefs and opinions, instead of remaining here, in practical application of physical reality being creation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to build ivory towers as ideas, beliefs and opinions in and as my mind, racing towards this imagination, unequal to here, as my value system as ideas was done in self interest without consideration of life and the racing to and towards these ideas ignored the practice of real living.

When and as I find myself becoming secretive with and as myself I stop and I breath and I slow myself down to see, realize and understand what I am hiding in and as the ideas, beliefs, opinions, fantasies,  imaginations, back chat, desires, wants and needs within and as my mind, 
When and as I find myself no longer hearing what is here in front of me, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I bring myself here, grounding myself in the physical here.
When and as I find myself moving into worry, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess, investigate, examine, step out of time, evaluate what is before me, taking that which is good and does no harm, to become at ease, with and as breath here.
When and as I find myself  racing as in not hearing what has been said, or losing patience, or judging the appearance of another, even as their words, I stop and I breath and i slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that I can only hear here, equal and one as the physical, directing in ways that do no harm, taking that which is good, here.
When and as move into am imagination of gloom and doom, I stop and i breath and I slow myself down and I ground myself here, as it is only here that i can step, that i can crawl, that i can change, that i can transform, that I can become equal and one with creation and as such  see to stand equal and one with and as what is me as life information, here.
When and as I find myself feeling overwhelmed with here, as the limitations, within and without, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I assess, evaluate, common sense physical, practical reality here, to stand as what is best for all, respecting life as the physical that is me here.
When and as I find myself whirl-reasoning in and as my mind, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, seeing the physical world directly, assessing practical applications that direct in ways that do no harm, and consider all things, to stand equal and one with and life here as this is me accepting the breathe of creation.






Friday, January 30, 2015

Day 608 Not seeing the connections right in front of me. Judgements as beliefs as mind con-sciousness.

I was at this meeting; a new group. I listened to the women speak and then at the end of the meeting, began to talk individually with various women in the group.
I realize that I had, in the course of the group presentation, unconsciously picked which women I thought I should connect with initially. When the meeting ended and individual introductions began, those who I had thought I would like to speak to were not the ones who came up to me to talk with me.
When I did move to talk with the ones I wanted to talk to, I found that we had a greater distance to cover in reaching an understanding. The ones who came up to me, I had more of an ease with in coming to an understanding.  
So, I looked at this and realized that I had been moved by my class values, by my story of and as belief, which means my “ values,” my judgements, my past based on what I defined and accepted as values to define me in an action of self interest without regard for all of reality.
This was a subtle thing that I might not have noticed but that no matter with whom I talked, I realized was myself as an action  actually living in and as talking with another person and within this respecting and  being grateful for this.  This means accepting what is here, not rushing in some idea and resisting what was here in front of me.
I had spoken up during the general meeting, so those that heard some of what I had been saying are the ones who came to me. And here, I was surprised because I was off in my own ideological mind expecting something else, even though I could pull back and accept what came. It really is like moving in a train, where the train is one’s self as mind, composed of ideas, and beliefs and opinions based on my direct experiential  past and my cultural past more than awareness and acceptance of simply remaining here in practical common sense of reality, taking that which is good and does no harm, respecting the very formation of life around me.
It really is that we are rushing around in some “ haloed” ground as mind, that is of unequal measure to the practical world in which we live. It really is that we sit in a room during our childhood, looking at pictures of trees while the real tree is outside the window, breathing, moving, flowing, living. What is real, is right here in front of us, and instead we learn and accept the study of pictures about something. The perfect way to divide and conquer the imaginative capacity of our minds, that are really an abstract of what is concrete as the physical world around us. Humans have become a physical being with a halo of pictures that spin so fast - like a moving train- that reality is no longer their focus, instead an alternate reality that is very much like a television-like entity of lesser dimension yet heavy and consuming of the physical body, has come to define us. So lost in this unequal measure to that which enables us life formation, that we have lost all stability which we see in our communications and as such, our community. Our communities are so divided that we all remain neighbors who have little or no interaction. We no longer see the trees outside that are supporting us in simply being here. Our eyes acclimate to our inner pictures, over time, to such an extent, that we no longer are able to spatially see the rise of a step, and we end up tripping and falling, which we call aging, but in reality is the extent of our separation from life, which means we have never really lived equal and one with and as the formation of life, which is the physical. Within this, we can blame no one, because each of us accepted and allowed that alternate reality of limited dimension.
Thus, I must forgive my own accepted and allowed judgements of value, creating my time that is not equal to the space of here, as physical reality that enables me to exist. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use limited values and to compare using these values, in and as my mind, in separation from what is physically  here as life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reject that which does not fit an ideological construct as my mind based on my past, in self interest, where I have allowed myself to exist like a train running on a track as ideas, beliefs and opinions, built of words, creating pictures, and emotional feeling bodies that are in separation from myself as life as a physical state of being.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to lose my natural ability to sense space and the forms that are the physical that are life in form, here, and to abdicate my self responsibility in and as this, as this common sense ability is myself as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge another as less than myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge another as superior to me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe I am inferior to life,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an accumulation of values where I then believe that I am superior to another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not remain here, equal and one with and as what I am as life as the means of common sense, which is the physical.
When and as I find myself comparing myself to others, in and as a belief that one way will lead to what I believe is a way forward, thereby eliminating others, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see , realize and understand what is here, as the physical / life, and I take that which is good and does  no harm, to see, realize and understand the potential each is as life here.
When and as I find myself reacting to others, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see where I judged something as less than what I believed I wanted that was in itself based on a belief that did not consider all things, respect all things as me in another life, and I slow way down, and become present here, taking in the perspective of another, and grounding this into practical measure of physical reality, as I would like for myself, without judgement, as this is the way to remain constant within the principle of what is best for all, today, yesterday, and tomorrow.




Thursday, January 22, 2015

Day 607 The Secret. Journey To Life : We Create

How words can hide and shift meaning.
The word ‘secret’ is  a combination of two sounds, let’s say: ‘se’ meaning ‘apart’ and ‘cernere’ meaning ‘shift’. So secret as a movement means to apart-shift. One could say, to divide through a shift, and this mechanism would be focus. In itself to look at a part, to bring one quality forward is not a bad thing, but when a shift is used to hide, as in presenting only a part, then knowledge and information becomes limited, as the story presented does not reveal the whole.
So, a secret is shifting focus, where one sees only a part, and words can be used to do this, thus we must always investigate what is said as the words used, in media and advertising, for example.
An example I noticed of this today was in this article.
It states that GMO’s are being labeled as “ naturally enhanced organism.”  That is being secretive, because it is shifting focus through the use of a mean via the use of words, presented in media, where one has little chance of question and rebuttal.  On the side, I don’t understand how men in lab coats looking into microscopes can be construed as natural because being in that lab is a shift from working with the whole of nature in real time, especially when every movement of what is created in such an isolated environment is not then cross referenced to all aspects of the whole as earth. If we look at what we are taught, as value judgements, we can see that we have been impulsed to believe that men in labs are doing great things to improve our lives which is a shift in focus. The improvements presented may be true in a narrow way, but we need only look at the state our soils and the animals and our children to understand that a shift to look at a part has not been brought back to the whole, as this physical world in which we live. The presentation done with a shift in wording is really asking for a stretch into a limited imagination Acceptance of such is really suppression. It seems our media is more a vehicle of knowledge and information only, without following through to practical application in a relationship to the whole, this earth.
Where did this shift to hide, through limited information, occur within our world?  It began with each of us, because the hued-man-of-mind only shifted from equality to practical reality and chose a self definition of self in self interest as mind only instead of remembering that self is a physical state of being existing because of the whole. This has been going on for eons, now manifest as a system. It is a system where governments can act as terrorists with a shift as a story of bringing peace, that hides the self interest of personal gain, which has become the corps of this world acting because each has defaulted their natural ability to absorb real surroundings in common sense. All the dis-ease, when in this world of the real innovations of men is out there that can make all our lives like that of a millionaire.
Thus, the real secret is to shift within oneself, to investigate what is available in this world and why the innovations that exist are not changing our lives to ensure that every human,  every plant and every ounce of soil is living its full potential. We understand what builds a healthy person, because we, with investigation, understand what it means to build a productive person!
Why not take control of your own perception?  Shifting within, is reflected in the words we use, thus it is always, always visible, and we can all see it. Thus, the state of the world is that fault of each of us because we shift into a convenient ignorance in self interest. Standing in equality with the physical world, taking that which is good and does no harm, is the way to remain constant and realize the mind is a tool to look at parts, an image nation that is not reality, and as such, only defines someone if they accept and allow the delusion of this to be reality, instead of remaining constant in physical space, grounding one’s self here, as the physical is the way and the means of life.
If a substance touted as being of benefit demands that protective gear be worn in the natural world, then this is not a naturally enhanced organism, it is a drone that brings terror to the human form, as the pesticides and herbicides are doing in places such as Argentina. It is time to shift ourselves back into reality, the physical, as this is life, and life is the value.