Saturday, November 22, 2014

Day 596 Believing that I Have to Say Something to Prove my Worth. Self Forgiveness

This point of believing that I have to say something.
This came up and it is in my left inner thigh above the knee.
It is like an entity that wants to jump forward, to grab attention, as in allowing myself to remain in the game. Like this is what I am supposed to do to participate in the world and make myself known, and by this I mean even on a small scale, as within a small group or talking with another person.
A memory comes up with a friend who was a pianist, who had played for more years, applied the craft for more years/hours than I had at my craft. So, when I was in her presence I felt that I had to say something. Which means I felt inferior, or was busy judging because I accepted and allowed a stance of inferiority, instead of remaining here, in practical application within common sense. It is know that it takes 10,000 hours to learn to play an instrument, thus learning, becoming aware of something as its shape and form, takes time, takes steps, building understanding, as the actual physical world would be. It is to say, we live in an actual existence, physically manifest. Thus it is to investigate all things and take that which is good, take that which makes sense, as in causing no harm.
This is always, all ways right in front of us. So, to note here, that a physical world that can build cars and transport these cars to all places on this earth, means that we can transport what is needed where it is needed, and we can get the goods and services needed to organize this earth into a functioning unit of life, as this is what it is, because it is a physical order, visible, actual, here.
It makes no sense, that in a country where there is so much land, and so much resource, human and environmental, that there are bathrooms in elementary schools where children do not have the most basic of needs, such as toilet paper. That outside on the fence surrounding the school, there is all the while a large plack, with the name of a corporation boldly advertising their logo, touting a good, but missing the most basic of needs. It is enough to wonder what is being taught in such an environment, with such a capable physical form as that of the human. There is no excuse for any of this, and it is time that it stopped.
That memory, that entity that rose up as  a past self accepted actualized belief in the form of energy with no real sustainability, rising and peaking causing an emotional storm of dis-empowerment lacking all common sense of seeing directly here, this within me as what I had accepted and allowed, an inferior stance because I had not investigated practical reality, and  instead raced to become superior within my bubble of belief in thought, word and deed. This is for me to being back down to reality, to actual physical expression of life, as this is the real life where I exist, as this is the gift to become equal and one to and as life. 
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become inferior to life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compensate as belief within and as my mind as a thought, as an idea that lacked investigation into practical reality, a physical reality, becoming inferior based on an idea to another, because I compared myself to a step in a process way down the line from me, and instead of looking practically at the steps needed to be walked to get to that point of development, I judged myself as inferior, and then tried to compensate to make myself appear superior, and felt that I had to speak up to become of equal measure, an act of ignoring practical reality here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to another, instead of looking at the measure of expression, meaning the steps needed to become aware of something, the practice of becoming aware of something, practically.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must always say something, to substantiate myself here, in self interest without reference to life, as what the physical is an expression and means of.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to disqualify practical physical reality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush within myself, in thought and deed of words to create a value for myself where I project in words a more than for myself an order of comparison, which is being competitive, as a belief that I must appear to be a good as or better than another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that within this I am in effect creating, but this creation is of a lesser state of being, as it is an act of self interest based on an idea of more, and as such, myself inferior to practical physical life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from here, from actual living, which can only be here, within this breath here, in this moment here, as this is where the practical is walked, to build understanding and an actual practice of common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being less than another, to have allowed this to become greater than life itself, as the physical, where the gift is to walk into awareness of what it means to be physical expression of life.
When and as I find myself wanting to prove that I am not inferior to what is around me, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, to see realize and understand that self awareness means to be equal in understanding to here, in an actual physical expression as what life is in reality.
When and as I find myself beginning to speak out and up from a starting point of self interest based on a value judgement done from comparison within a limited value system, as belief, I stop, I breath , I slow myself down, until I am stable within and as breath here, and I look at the actual living physical reality to see, realize and understand in thought, word and deed, what is best for all, which is to take that which is good and does no harm, as each is me, in another life, thus the only choice is the choice of what is best for all here.
When and as I find myself moving into competition, wanting to move into a more, an energetic movement within and as me, I stop and I breath, and I slow the rush to a morality of more, built of limited values as good and bad, where the bad is what does not define my accepted limited self definition and the good is what I believe creates a value as a self definition, an overall outcome of separation, limited as a narrow focus as mind in relation to actual living expression as what the physical is, here.
When and as I find myself wanting to appear, as words, to be more than that which I have made myself inferior to, I stop and I breath, and I look here at practical reality, to see, realize and understand the practical, common sense steps of what it means to investigate and practice the building of awareness to master something, to know something enough to share the information of it in such a way that each is self empowered to be and reach their full potential, which is supporting life and realizing all resources, including human, as having the value of life, here, where each part realizes the full potential of life within, creating a world that is the actual of best for all.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Day 594 My Personality with Women. Cont. Self Forgiveness

 I return full circle to the point I started from, the friend that I remember having easy laughter with. And this sense that it is okay, I no longer have to protect myself from reprimand or the judgements of others, the internal self definitions feared being lost, one that appears to maintain a state of feeling happy, as a value has been used to substantiate instead of the value being here, being life. Thus, I determine who I am within what I allow. And in this instance, if I am with a woman, and I move into worrying about whether that person/woman is happy, I look to how I am manipulating myself to see if that woman is happy within, so that I am secure from harm, and I realize that I am as well, protecting myself from an imagined possibility of harm based on a past of being a child, where children really have little say against the beliefs as personifications of the adults in their world. So, I stand in common sense of what is practical, in a physical world, and direct myself within and as the principle of what is best for all, and remain stable within this, to enjoy being here, as it is being here, in direct seeing with the physical, that is being equal to the value being life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must be acquiescing to the emotions and feelings of others, as an end point.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must cater only to the emotions and feelings of others to ensure that I am protected.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the wrath of a woman scorned.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, as a reaction to fearing the wrath of a woman, distract myself from looking here, being practical here, and instead manipulate a situation  to damn up the fear of loss, as not acting in ways that substantiate the self ideology of a woman, which is in reality, as what I have accepted and allowed, damned not only myself but also the woman/women.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being practical, here, which is to fear being myself here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in serving the emotions and feeling of another, a woman, I am in self interest, guarding my self from an imagination of loss, and within this separating myself from my own common sense of practical reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my friend did not determine my ability to laugh, my ability to be in joy here, as this can be in every moment, here, as myself allowing and accepting what it is that I am within as an expression of life, realizing that life is the value, and that this value can only be lived in its full potential here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that having friends determines the state of myself within.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect laughter to a friend from my past.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that laughter can be taken away.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place laughter within friendship only and also not something that I can experience around what I have defined as woman of authority.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Day 593 My Personality with Women Cont. Self Forgiveness

Continuation of  My personality with women.
 The behaviors of suppression in fear of losing a friend as a consequence of this past event where I lost a friend because of criticism/evaluation-taken-personally of that friend’s mother by my father,  I built a personality of fearing to speak up in ways that might have been construed as criticism causing a consequence of  loss and rejection, specifically in relation to woman, where I fear causing a reaction of competition, a reaction of jealousy, the perception of being threatened, which I had learned to fear as in making an association to such behavior as potentially losing something.

If I look at my relationship with my mother, from the point of myself as a small child, I can see where I focused on what my mother wanted to hear, so as to not cause my mother to become reactive. This consumed my attention, to the point where I focused on what pleased my mother at the expense of my own perspective and insight of this practical physical world. This was the beginning of my personality development, just as the action conveys, that was of a narrow focus on the personality of my mother, that became the knowledge and information that I became, perpetuating that same persona. And to note here, that this was not all good or all bad, it was the limitation within this that developed my perspectives that I would as an adult learn the hard way as being limited, as beliefs that did not consider all perspectives of reality, and that did not remember that learning was a process, a continuum that was a building of understanding which meant change and  more directive movement, one that enabled communication that was of sharing in what allowed self discovery and thus direct seeing  to become an adult who realized a common sense expression with the physical world instead of worrying about what others might or might not think about who one was or was not.

So, in my relations with other woman,  I go into an inner conflict, as I have to constantly assess my own allowed personification - built from my occupation with my own mother - to that of another woman - that is more than likely built from her/their mother’s personality. This narrow focus, one that is of following to survive, in itself a separation from being here which is being equal to physical reality. So, it becomes bubbles of personification in constant comparison walking on “ eggshells” to not upset the bubble of belief, instead of sharing insights and realizing that practical real living is building a world where no matter where we are, we take care of practical reality, enjoy differences and create a world where the value is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear limitation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear belief.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not matching the perspectives of another and within this to realize that I can “ match the perspective of another” and yet see that this does not define me, and as such, can follow through into expanding perspectives, building a depth perception that removes bubbles of limited beliefs and allows the end of a fear of loss that is really only a limited belief system and or a process of change that is what expansion is by nature, where expansion comes within seeing directly here, in practical reality.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the perspective of another cannot define me unless I accept and allow it.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the expression of another is a perspective, and as such can change, and also that it is this perspective that can add insight, and only defines in a moment, and within this, that what has been accepted and allowed is the holding of knowledge and information as ideas that define oneself in relation to one’s cultural and gender placement in a system of hierarchy that is the consequence of limited beliefs, where one collected values and used these as self definitions instead of realizing that what we are in every moment is a expression of life on a physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see , realize ad understand that resistance and conflict within myself as an emotional movement, are myself in comparison to another, in this case, women, where I resist what does not compliment my idea about myself, as my belief system, instead of being open and accepting the perspective of another, taking that which is good and does no harm, being thankful for that, and sharing myself, without fear of reprimand, judgement and jealousy, and standing as what allows a life lived in full potential realizing that all development no matter what, is what is best for me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to to mince my words, to not speak up in sharing practical reality, as in how practical reality works in ways that do no harm as the solution, as the directive, to enable another, and myself to expand in working with reality here, to create a world where life is the value, and where this value as being life, is what is shared, which, to note, would be an end to violence, and a world that one could call heaven.

Friday, October 31, 2014

Day 592 My Personality with Women Self Forgiveness

In the next blogs I am going to walk a point within my relationships with women. 

My personality with women.
I had a memory come up during a conversation about women and how it is more difficult for me to talk with other woman then it is with men.
As I talked about the memory, I could feel my eyes begin to fill up with water, with tears. Though I felt somewhat calm about this memory, my eyes and the tears welling up told another story.
I had a friend in elementary school. We would hang out and, as I remember it, laugh with abandon, as though just being together was a joy and this joy expressed itself in laughter. I specifically remember sitting on a wall, legs dangling, the two of us laughing, just looking at one another being enough to laugh.
It came to pass, that my father, a journalist, wrote an article about my friend’s mother, one that was not well received by my friend’s mother.
From that day on, I never saw my friend again, we were no longer allowed to be friends, to visit with one another. I remember calling and being told that my friend was busy. This friend even started to attend another school, so the separation was sudden and complete.
I remember being very upset and saying to my father that it was not fair.  How could I be deprived of this friendship? 
I remember feeling like I lost something that was irreplaceable.
I remember wanting to blame my father for writing such an article.
I remember wanting to blame my friend’s mother for keeping my friend from me.
I remember wanting to understand why my friend could not stand up against this, as though this was something she had to do as well.
I remember getting angry at my mother for being told that I needed to get over it and that another friend would come along, and that sometimes things like this happen. I really did not want to accept that I could not be with this friend based on  what an adult had said about the other adult.
I became very spiteful towards everyone around me because I could no longer visit my friend. It was like I went into a tantrum after being sad about losing my friend. As the memory is charged with emotion, with the loss of my friend, with the loss of my laughter with another person that was of ease and had no value other than just being together and laughing I have to slow down and forgive this  memory, the sense of loss, the association of loss to the joy of laughter, the ensuing justifications and anger into blame and spite towards the adults in my world and the system, and the questions as to why that were never resolved, as there is a lack of understanding of how values have defined us in a game of survival based on ideas about who we are instead of realizing the value is simply being here, and in the process of self expression, which demands becoming aware. And yet, within the present system of competition, there is going to be not only constructive criticism but also spiteful remarks and reactions from a lack of remembering that growth in awareness and development takes time and requires mistakes as a natural part of the learning process and that what one person says about another does not define them, it is just a point made, thus the point must be cleared instead of the limitation of seeking punishment based on an idea about something that was said, when what one believes someone had said, may have nothing to do with what was said.
Here it is easy to see how we become so limited, and that “ storm” is one of emotion, which is an energetic emotion, that squirms and spites and blames, spinning around and around, going nowhere, creating a good and a bad, where self becomes a personification of spite and blame projected outward and self carries no real responsibility as creation, this responsibility being the stead of moving into solutions once such a division has occured, that resolve the divisions into judgements, those acts of diminishing those around us within behaviors of limiting comments about another, where the solution is to do that which allows self expression in understanding what is here practically as creation to move in respect of all life, as this being-ness with creation is much more directive and fulfilling.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel sad about the loss of my friend.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something was lost in the loss of my friend
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the world came to an end with the loss of my friend.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that if I feel laughter, the joy to want to laugh that the world of laughter will inevitably be taken away, where it is to realize that this is a memory, a past event, one that only defines me if I accept and allow it, as I realize that it is an act based on beliefs of what defines oneself .
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame my father for writing something that took my friend away.
I forgive myself for spiting my father for writing something that took my friend away.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself believe that something that was written took my friend away
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to spite my mother for saying that I would get over losing my friend and that new friends would come along to take the place of this friend, as though everything was disposable and replaceable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the world was a cruel and mean place to live because of social politics, because an adult extended what was said about one aspect of their life onto other aspects of their life, using the people around them to fight battles they believed were an onslaught against them, when it may just have been constructive criticism, and if it were not, then it was not something to define them, because in the end nothing defines us but what we accept and allow.
Within this I forgive myself for allowing and  accepting myself to believe that the loss of my friend was a spiteful act, when it was an act of self defense in a world where criticism of another is taken as fact and not investigated to see if it is constructive or just plain spiteful, because if it is constructive criticism then it is a gift to accept, and if it is spite, it is something to let go of, and as such, criticism of what someone does is not something to take personally and react to in using extended family as a means of retaliation, as just as I write here, that spiting and blaming my parents and the parents of my friend and my friend is not the solution, as the solution is to look at what was said, assess it and take that which is good, as that which might give insight in developing and expanding awareness, and/or to realize in practical common sense as being spiteful, and not something to take personally, which, in looking at both possible scenarios, one is self empowered to assess and then stand addressing the issue instead of going into acts of retaliation and revenge, of vindictive behavior to protect an idea about oneself based on the words of another, as protecting ideas about oneself in a state of being in protection and self defense instead of looking at what supports self in standing in ways that give self direction and the strength of self honesty.
Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that losing my friend meant that I lost the capacity of myself to enjoy the world around me, because I had placed laughter within a limited context as being something with this friend only.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that despite losing my friend, and even if this loss was based in the accepted and allowed  societal behaviors of spite and blame, on a lack of self honesty and ability to realize constructive criticism and competition,  fear of the words being a belief that the words of another defines the receiver of the words, does nothing to build a sound character who can withstand emotional storms of judgement, taking that which is good and does no harm and letting go of what is a consequence of believing words define us instead of words being the way and the means to communicate insights to allow us to expand in the understanding of life being the value.

When and as I find myself with water welling up in my eyes, I stop and I breath and I see, realize and understand that I was a child, caught in a world of competition within limited  beliefs that what another says about us defines who and what we are, in all a separation from and of the value being life, so why do we believe that words can define us, when they can change and are the way and the means of change as words are how we communicate and describe what is here, thus words are tools more than weapons, words are insight more than label, words are units to show us where we came from and where we are and where we can move to, that movement being what expands our awareness and understanding, movements that allow transformation, as this is life in formation from one expression to another, which is how we learn to become equal and one to being the creators that we are as being the very substance of life, were we not, then we would not be. Thus, it is to be here, and to realize that spiting and blaming as word formations/expressions, which is a sound formation, is a limitation of self being life in expression which is creation which is accepting change and development and  discerning what expands realizing that spite and blame and fear of being defined by words of another, is self in abdication of life, here.

When and as I become sad at the loss of a friend based on a politic of belief that what another says defines me/us, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that this belief that what another says about oneself when believed to define us, is a self feeling threatened and a fear of losing some standing within the community which is a behavior of survival instead of a behavior of being self honest, a behavior of looking at what another says and assessing the constructiveness of it, or lack thereof.

When and as I find myself believing that I lost a friend, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that though this might have been an instance where the adults in the wold around me allowed what was said to threaten their self definitions, this act cannot define who and what I am here.
When and as I find myself becoming sad, within and as the loss of my friend, where tears well up in my eyes , I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that I was a child in an adult world, and as such I am now the adult, so this past can only define me if I accept and allow it.
When and as I find myself becoming tearful based on a memory of the past about the sudden loss of a friend, I stop and I breath and I see realize and understand that I can laugh and be here, that I do not need one specific person to determine my ability to laugh,  as life is here, in this moment, and that I can only be here, in this moment as this is where life is lived.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Day 591 The gift of Self Forgiveness

I notice as I step out and talk with people that I have so often not listened to the words the other speaks, as I have allowed myself to judge them based on how they dress, the way in which they use their words, the mannerisms they move as while they speak.
I can become so occupied with their physical mannerisms and the way they use their words, and the way they dress that I do not pay attention to the words they are using. Meaning I am not paying attention to the words in such a way that I look at where they are coming from, as in where they are in their ability to express themselves, which is their reflection of understanding of the world in which they live, a physical world..
To “ listen” through what is being said where I look to that which is sorting through various layers of constructs used to present themselves in and as , I have to slow way down and listen to more than what is projected outward.
If my own reactions come up, than I am lost, and chaos ensures, nothing really being resolved. Later, I go back and try to see where I lost a connection, where I lost focus and went into judgement , because this is really what I have done: gone into judgement, which is comparison based on values - limited ones at that, all of which is moving into inferiority in relation to physical existence - HUEmans are filled with color, and that color is not in common sense of the physical practical reality.. Normally, within this paranormal imaginative scenario,  I would then use more justification in addressing feeling lousy by comparison ( jealousy) to make myself believe that I am superior and that the disconnect was the fault of the other which is becoming spiteful and vindictive. The fault does not remain with the other, as what has been the lack of connection is an acceptance of non-understanding, as an acceptance of an idea about how and why something us, without really looking at what it would mean to move in ways that allow physical reality to function, especially in an age where all educational research says that the more words we know, the more capable we are as people, as we have the means to construct understanding and focusability on and  about things to enable us to connect with others and become directive in common sense ways.  .
Ironically we learn to use our imaginations not in the order of communicating with one another, to be able to hold a construct of another as the words they use to become equal in understanding, instead we develop imagination to hold fantasies and then run around and compare these and judge them, like a fashion. I mean, even within this we are divided, as we separate into factions of imagination, as some are bound by fashion only, or reading books only, etc. etc. and then within this we remain within very limited frameworks, so busy - like an imagination that buzzes with our occupations ( that are not “ bad” per say, but limited) that we no longer realize the imagery projection is a superstition, a paranormal event, that can be used to allow connection and cross reference, so that we understand one another and work in ways that allow the physical life we exist as to flow creatively with ease, as this is how life should be.
But, at present, humans are as what we manifest, which is conflict and violence and war, raping the physical world in order to stand as a winner saying , my imagination picture show is more than yours. We do/allow this to such an extent that anything that does not support this picture show as mind, is less than we are, is less than worthy of life. And, we blame that which is not “ dressed up” as mental imagery as us as being in a state of lack, where we then play an end game, so caught in competition/comparison that moving into what solves conflict/separation is not considered.  This is a game that has an outcome of destroying the means of creation, where we will end up looking back and realizing we turned everything into dust instead of really being creation, instead of really being life.
And, yes this varies, but it also explains the separation and the disconnect as each individual person on the ground and the consequence of a few pissing their beliefs all over the media, to sustain their ideological imaginative constructions. So, what they are doing is what we are all doing.
So, in order for me to become the very change I speak of, I have to slow way down and really begin to listen to others. This means, becoming humble towards what another says. It means as someone once said, “ walking through the valley of the shadow of good and evil.” not fearing, not reacting, not rejecting or accepting, but in essence listening, hearing the very sound of the person, and the sparks of separation being projected outward that cannot harm me, ( most of the time as those in Gaza, the children especially, cannot escape)  unless I accept and allow them to become more than what is practically here, as the physical from which the imaginative abstract as mind is built onto. In breath, I can remain here, and become aware of more than the ideological picture show as my mind, fanned into existence through my own separation from common sense. And common sense is the real natural state of myself when I am accepting of the physical, as in moving with the physical in ways that do not harm, as it pays attention to physical reality, and realizes that belief, opinion are constructs of the imagination, here. 
I move, in every breath, in self forgiveness of what separations I have accepted and allowed as mind, these parts not to be judged, but brought back down to earth, to allow myself to become the gift of life, which is a self forgiveness in accepting the physical as me, in common sense of all life, which is to be here, as I as a physical life in expression can only live here. Thus, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a mind construction to become more than life itself,  life being which includes all that is here, as the physical.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself as life to walk with the physical as being equal and one with and as me, as what I am, the eye-of-the-needle to become equal and one with and as life, to build heaven on earth, as life should be.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Day 590 Repetitive Play, the Opportunity to Collect Data.

I have had a new person in my life for a few weeks. What I find so cool, is how much I am able to not take things personally, which I attribute to the Desteni I  Process. Within this process I begin to see how my mind works, how thoughts work and how the accumulation of thoughts can become emotions and feelings, the emotions being the fear, the doom and gloom as an idea of what may happen in the future based on a past where I had an idea about what I was based on mis-takes that were myself lacking an understanding of moving myself in practical ways. Then, the feelings that were justifications for the emotional reactions that were, again, the accumulation of fearful actions, where fear was allowing false evidence appearing to be real, which I allowed to define me.
Today I watched a talk about data collection, where it was suggested that machines will surpass humans in basic skills through data collection. Meaning a machine can collect data faster and then apply that data to, for example, win a chess game every time when playing with a human.
It was said that machines remediate many times and then are able to play the game.
It was also mentioned that our present bureaucracies have limited us, because they have become stagnant within allowing growth as the practices become entrenched, as the laws limit movement under the guise of protection.
I realize that as the system functions at present, that so many humans have little time and opportunity to remediate again and again until something is understood, as in having, for example the time to play chess enough to play well. Humans like these new computers, must also have the time to follow through mis-takes until the parts of the whole are sensed and integrated enough to enable mastery.
In our present system is there enough breathing space for people to develop themselves to the point of mastery? Do we have the opportunity to remediate until there are no longer mis-takes, and that what is before us is integrated enough that we can begin to create and transform? Have our bureaucracies become so burdensome that we are stagnant in our time and space to remediate in ways that allow us to understand that we can grow and expand in our awareness when we have the opportunity to learn?
Given all of this, what thoughts I had, that were of my experience, in a world where for some generations there has not been enough time to apply actions again and again that build understanding through making the mistakes and understanding that in learning we make mistakes as a necessary part of the process of learning. Many of my thoughts were limited because there was no understanding that learning is a process and that the mis-takes along the way do not define who I am, they simply show where I am within a process of building understanding of practical reality.
So, within spending time with another person, and in realizing that I am not defined by mis-takes, I can let them go, and simply look here, forgive the thought about a past of belief within a cycle of building understanding that had no real follow through into a real depth of understanding that I allowed to become a thought about who I am in my ability, when this was not who I was, it was where I was in a process of understanding and that this was in a world that for generations have been believing in the same self definitions based on not having had the opportunity to follow through and practice something until it was integrated and understood enough so that one could stand within this in certainty. Also, to realize within this, that it is the focus and certainty in the doing that is what is enjoyable. And this would build compassion, and empathy for others, and a desire to share because it is the realization that there are really no mis-takes, there is only practicing something until it is understood. Interacting with another person, after having walked the Desteni I Process  and coming to understand how my thoughts are a reflection of limitation and stagnation in not having allowed myself to realize that in learning and understanding here, as the practical reality, takes remediation until what is here is understood.  When there is disagreement, it simply means that there is not an equal understanding and thus, the solution is right in front of us, meaning the only way to be, is to investigate practical reality to see how it functions in common sense, as the form reveals the function so it can be understood, and that the past mis-takes - do not define or determine my personal value.
So, do we not see what our so-called computers are doing in all common sense? Do we not see that they are becoming so called “ smarter” than us as they practice and collect data, as the measure of the world around us? Do we not see what is so obvious and right in front of us?
We are believing that humans are incapable, and yet when a human has the chance and the ability to do, they expand. And, not only do they expand, they have the capacity to review the whole AND the parts and see patterns and then make choices that would not bring harm, because this is what each would chose in all practical common sense.
It is time to stand up and become the life that is here right in front of us. We need only do this, in joining together, as two or more in the name of what is best for all life, and create a system, one that is already in place structurally in many ways, and align this system to ensure that all have their basic needs met, and as such, can take the time to see the horizon as life as this planet that surrounds us and gives us the means to breath and be life, here.
We decide, lets get this done. Come back down to Earth. B-earth Yourself. Give yourself the gift of life.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Day 589 The Lag of Self Definition towards a Natural Expedition in Men

As each faction in our society looks in self interest into its own survival, there is a limitation within the collective communicating and sharing developments that lead to expediting actions needed to improve efficiency and give the space and time to understand practical reality in ways that allow interaction that furthers and sustains effective practices on a finite planet.
It seems to me that this has been forgotten, as each exists in a bubble within their own ideas about who they are. The society is a fabric of people, where perspectives for improvement come from all areas of life. It is like a mix of insight coming together and communicating is how new ways of seeing and thinking come about. It is easy to get caught up in a bubble and miss expansion, thus the people in this world working in other areas are a gift of insight, but that insight must be allowed communion or the efficiency in solving problems  becomes very slow, and the fires burning because of a lack of communication become the focus of the person in the bubble who feared looking outside for solutions, or accepting solutions that were shared and given because a fear of loss of a self definition is allowed precedence.
I see this in many places, where a “ non-profit” entity, which is just a form in words on paper where at the root it is a group of people working together to solve problems, will not have anything to do with a “ NGO” or non-government organization.” In the end these are all organizations of men, how the money flows through them, whether directly or indirectly really does not matter, as the layers of separation that we define as good or bad, or simply each point in the organization getting some monetary compensation in order to live, as we have accepted and allowed money to determine life.
One example is all the so-called non-profits offering consultations hanging in the foyer  of my local library, all making it clear that they are non- profits. But if I look past the initial shield/presentation, they are all organized people giving advice as to where and what to do to address their issues that brought them to the consultation.  In the end, to receive the interventions one must go and see that doctor, and interact with that private company that is profit based. So the screen of non-profit is a smoke and mirrors show that says it is good, but really is a pawn of profit. This happens on a global scale as well, and yet it also happens on the micro scale even within my own town. What I notice is the perceptual ability of people to not see this, which means that little investigation has been done, and often the reaction is based on ideas that define self, more than the practical reality of the sequences that are the real play-out all the way to the end
There is a company here, a social services company, that is privately owned and offers social services to parents, for example, that are having problems with their children. Mostly, the workers seem to hold hands with the parents and listen to their problems. Listening to problems is a good, but it is not something that actually follows through and solves the problem, And the problems become so overwhelming that there is not time to continue to go and have someone listen, I notice this because there are these groups set up and yet they do not appear to exist with any constancy. They rise and “ die” pretty fast. I called one such group and what I got was that, yes it had stopped for a while but was being reorganized into a better structure. It is like the government touting doing good, by setting up these entities, which are now being done by “ private” groups of people ( because that is what it is), but that don’t seem to really exist with any constancy.
I also looked into the owner of the non-profit and what I found was that the owner of this private providing social services group was, in another state is on the board of the private Federal Reserve Bank and on yet another board in another state of a hospital or medical entity. If we do not begin to see the layers here, that on one hand these so-called private groups of social services - ostensively to do a better job of organizing social services- have connections to monopolies in the background, and as such will naturally direct the flow of need in ways that serve the instigators own rent seeking, and realize that this is limiting insight within the collective ability to add insight via perspective who in having the insight and the ability to communicate it are actually men, organized men, no different than any other organized system. It is all really a construct of control, one that is not what is best for all. Were it functioning as something that solved problems, then there would be more constancy in the actions of the social services, the outcome of which would slowly be the removal of extensive social services as the problems created would end, as the nature of men is to expedite actions and expand in awareness. Somehow this is not happening, and the reason for this is in the systemic form of what we have accepted and allowed and what we believe in our individual lives, our bubbles of thought. How we define ourselves, and our reactions to what others think about how we have defined ourselves really show us how we are not paying attention to the whole, and the consequences of lack and counteract of need seeking, are in effect seeking for someone else to take care of the consequences of what has been ignored as we hold onto self definitions that are limited and creating a lag of conceptual development that would actually  move with practical reality in ways that expand and expedite actions that would improve existence that is the real nature of men.