Friday, October 31, 2014

Day 592 My Personality with Women Self Forgiveness

In the next blogs I am going to walk a point within my relationships with women. 

My personality with women.
I had a memory come up during a conversation about women and how it is more difficult for me to talk with other woman then it is with men.
As I talked about the memory, I could feel my eyes begin to fill up with water, with tears. Though I felt somewhat calm about this memory, my eyes and the tears welling up told another story.
I had a friend in elementary school. We would hang out and, as I remember it, laugh with abandon, as though just being together was a joy and this joy expressed itself in laughter. I specifically remember sitting on a wall, legs dangling, the two of us laughing, just looking at one another being enough to laugh.
It came to pass, that my father, a journalist, wrote an article about my friend’s mother, one that was not well received by my friend’s mother.
From that day on, I never saw my friend again, we were no longer allowed to be friends, to visit with one another. I remember calling and being told that my friend was busy. This friend even started to attend another school, so the separation was sudden and complete.
I remember being very upset and saying to my father that it was not fair.  How could I be deprived of this friendship? 
I remember feeling like I lost something that was irreplaceable.
I remember wanting to blame my father for writing such an article.
I remember wanting to blame my friend’s mother for keeping my friend from me.
I remember wanting to understand why my friend could not stand up against this, as though this was something she had to do as well.
I remember getting angry at my mother for being told that I needed to get over it and that another friend would come along, and that sometimes things like this happen. I really did not want to accept that I could not be with this friend based on  what an adult had said about the other adult.
I became very spiteful towards everyone around me because I could no longer visit my friend. It was like I went into a tantrum after being sad about losing my friend. As the memory is charged with emotion, with the loss of my friend, with the loss of my laughter with another person that was of ease and had no value other than just being together and laughing I have to slow down and forgive this  memory, the sense of loss, the association of loss to the joy of laughter, the ensuing justifications and anger into blame and spite towards the adults in my world and the system, and the questions as to why that were never resolved, as there is a lack of understanding of how values have defined us in a game of survival based on ideas about who we are instead of realizing the value is simply being here, and in the process of self expression, which demands becoming aware. And yet, within the present system of competition, there is going to be not only constructive criticism but also spiteful remarks and reactions from a lack of remembering that growth in awareness and development takes time and requires mistakes as a natural part of the learning process and that what one person says about another does not define them, it is just a point made, thus the point must be cleared instead of the limitation of seeking punishment based on an idea about something that was said, when what one believes someone had said, may have nothing to do with what was said.
Here it is easy to see how we become so limited, and that “ storm” is one of emotion, which is an energetic emotion, that squirms and spites and blames, spinning around and around, going nowhere, creating a good and a bad, where self becomes a personification of spite and blame projected outward and self carries no real responsibility as creation, this responsibility being the stead of moving into solutions once such a division has occured, that resolve the divisions into judgements, those acts of diminishing those around us within behaviors of limiting comments about another, where the solution is to do that which allows self expression in understanding what is here practically as creation to move in respect of all life, as this being-ness with creation is much more directive and fulfilling.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel sad about the loss of my friend.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something was lost in the loss of my friend
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the world came to an end with the loss of my friend.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that if I feel laughter, the joy to want to laugh that the world of laughter will inevitably be taken away, where it is to realize that this is a memory, a past event, one that only defines me if I accept and allow it, as I realize that it is an act based on beliefs of what defines oneself .
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame my father for writing something that took my friend away.
I forgive myself for spiting my father for writing something that took my friend away.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself believe that something that was written took my friend away
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to spite my mother for saying that I would get over losing my friend and that new friends would come along to take the place of this friend, as though everything was disposable and replaceable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the world was a cruel and mean place to live because of social politics, because an adult extended what was said about one aspect of their life onto other aspects of their life, using the people around them to fight battles they believed were an onslaught against them, when it may just have been constructive criticism, and if it were not, then it was not something to define them, because in the end nothing defines us but what we accept and allow.
Within this I forgive myself for allowing and  accepting myself to believe that the loss of my friend was a spiteful act, when it was an act of self defense in a world where criticism of another is taken as fact and not investigated to see if it is constructive or just plain spiteful, because if it is constructive criticism then it is a gift to accept, and if it is spite, it is something to let go of, and as such, criticism of what someone does is not something to take personally and react to in using extended family as a means of retaliation, as just as I write here, that spiting and blaming my parents and the parents of my friend and my friend is not the solution, as the solution is to look at what was said, assess it and take that which is good, as that which might give insight in developing and expanding awareness, and/or to realize in practical common sense as being spiteful, and not something to take personally, which, in looking at both possible scenarios, one is self empowered to assess and then stand addressing the issue instead of going into acts of retaliation and revenge, of vindictive behavior to protect an idea about oneself based on the words of another, as protecting ideas about oneself in a state of being in protection and self defense instead of looking at what supports self in standing in ways that give self direction and the strength of self honesty.
Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that losing my friend meant that I lost the capacity of myself to enjoy the world around me, because I had placed laughter within a limited context as being something with this friend only.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that despite losing my friend, and even if this loss was based in the accepted and allowed  societal behaviors of spite and blame, on a lack of self honesty and ability to realize constructive criticism and competition,  fear of the words being a belief that the words of another defines the receiver of the words, does nothing to build a sound character who can withstand emotional storms of judgement, taking that which is good and does no harm and letting go of what is a consequence of believing words define us instead of words being the way and the means to communicate insights to allow us to expand in the understanding of life being the value.

When and as I find myself with water welling up in my eyes, I stop and I breath and I see, realize and understand that I was a child, caught in a world of competition within limited  beliefs that what another says about us defines who and what we are, in all a separation from and of the value being life, so why do we believe that words can define us, when they can change and are the way and the means of change as words are how we communicate and describe what is here, thus words are tools more than weapons, words are insight more than label, words are units to show us where we came from and where we are and where we can move to, that movement being what expands our awareness and understanding, movements that allow transformation, as this is life in formation from one expression to another, which is how we learn to become equal and one to being the creators that we are as being the very substance of life, were we not, then we would not be. Thus, it is to be here, and to realize that spiting and blaming as word formations/expressions, which is a sound formation, is a limitation of self being life in expression which is creation which is accepting change and development and  discerning what expands realizing that spite and blame and fear of being defined by words of another, is self in abdication of life, here.

When and as I become sad at the loss of a friend based on a politic of belief that what another says defines me/us, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that this belief that what another says about oneself when believed to define us, is a self feeling threatened and a fear of losing some standing within the community which is a behavior of survival instead of a behavior of being self honest, a behavior of looking at what another says and assessing the constructiveness of it, or lack thereof.

When and as I find myself believing that I lost a friend, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that though this might have been an instance where the adults in the wold around me allowed what was said to threaten their self definitions, this act cannot define who and what I am here.
When and as I find myself becoming sad, within and as the loss of my friend, where tears well up in my eyes , I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that I was a child in an adult world, and as such I am now the adult, so this past can only define me if I accept and allow it.
When and as I find myself becoming tearful based on a memory of the past about the sudden loss of a friend, I stop and I breath and I see realize and understand that I can laugh and be here, that I do not need one specific person to determine my ability to laugh,  as life is here, in this moment, and that I can only be here, in this moment as this is where life is lived.






Monday, October 20, 2014

Day 591 The gift of Self Forgiveness


I notice as I step out and talk with people that I have so often not listened to the words the other speaks, as I have allowed myself to judge them based on how they dress, the way in which they use their words, the mannerisms they move as while they speak.
I can become so occupied with their physical mannerisms and the way they use their words, and the way they dress that I do not pay attention to the words they are using. Meaning I am not paying attention to the words in such a way that I look at where they are coming from, as in where they are in their ability to express themselves, which is their reflection of understanding of the world in which they live, a physical world..
To “ listen” through what is being said where I look to that which is sorting through various layers of constructs used to present themselves in and as , I have to slow way down and listen to more than what is projected outward.
If my own reactions come up, than I am lost, and chaos ensures, nothing really being resolved. Later, I go back and try to see where I lost a connection, where I lost focus and went into judgement , because this is really what I have done: gone into judgement, which is comparison based on values - limited ones at that, all of which is moving into inferiority in relation to physical existence - HUEmans are filled with color, and that color is not in common sense of the physical practical reality.. Normally, within this paranormal imaginative scenario,  I would then use more justification in addressing feeling lousy by comparison ( jealousy) to make myself believe that I am superior and that the disconnect was the fault of the other which is becoming spiteful and vindictive. The fault does not remain with the other, as what has been the lack of connection is an acceptance of non-understanding, as an acceptance of an idea about how and why something us, without really looking at what it would mean to move in ways that allow physical reality to function, especially in an age where all educational research says that the more words we know, the more capable we are as people, as we have the means to construct understanding and focusability on and  about things to enable us to connect with others and become directive in common sense ways.  .
Ironically we learn to use our imaginations not in the order of communicating with one another, to be able to hold a construct of another as the words they use to become equal in understanding, instead we develop imagination to hold fantasies and then run around and compare these and judge them, like a fashion. I mean, even within this we are divided, as we separate into factions of imagination, as some are bound by fashion only, or reading books only, etc. etc. and then within this we remain within very limited frameworks, so busy - like an imagination that buzzes with our occupations ( that are not “ bad” per say, but limited) that we no longer realize the imagery projection is a superstition, a paranormal event, that can be used to allow connection and cross reference, so that we understand one another and work in ways that allow the physical life we exist as to flow creatively with ease, as this is how life should be.
But, at present, humans are as what we manifest, which is conflict and violence and war, raping the physical world in order to stand as a winner saying , my imagination picture show is more than yours. We do/allow this to such an extent that anything that does not support this picture show as mind, is less than we are, is less than worthy of life. And, we blame that which is not “ dressed up” as mental imagery as us as being in a state of lack, where we then play an end game, so caught in competition/comparison that moving into what solves conflict/separation is not considered.  This is a game that has an outcome of destroying the means of creation, where we will end up looking back and realizing we turned everything into dust instead of really being creation, instead of really being life.
And, yes this varies, but it also explains the separation and the disconnect as each individual person on the ground and the consequence of a few pissing their beliefs all over the media, to sustain their ideological imaginative constructions. So, what they are doing is what we are all doing.
So, in order for me to become the very change I speak of, I have to slow way down and really begin to listen to others. This means, becoming humble towards what another says. It means as someone once said, “ walking through the valley of the shadow of good and evil.” not fearing, not reacting, not rejecting or accepting, but in essence listening, hearing the very sound of the person, and the sparks of separation being projected outward that cannot harm me, ( most of the time as those in Gaza, the children especially, cannot escape)  unless I accept and allow them to become more than what is practically here, as the physical from which the imaginative abstract as mind is built onto. In breath, I can remain here, and become aware of more than the ideological picture show as my mind, fanned into existence through my own separation from common sense. And common sense is the real natural state of myself when I am accepting of the physical, as in moving with the physical in ways that do not harm, as it pays attention to physical reality, and realizes that belief, opinion are constructs of the imagination, here. 
I move, in every breath, in self forgiveness of what separations I have accepted and allowed as mind, these parts not to be judged, but brought back down to earth, to allow myself to become the gift of life, which is a self forgiveness in accepting the physical as me, in common sense of all life, which is to be here, as I as a physical life in expression can only live here. Thus, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a mind construction to become more than life itself,  life being which includes all that is here, as the physical.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself as life to walk with the physical as being equal and one with and as me, as what I am, the eye-of-the-needle to become equal and one with and as life, to build heaven on earth, as life should be.



Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Day 590 Repetitive Play, the Opportunity to Collect Data.


I have had a new person in my life for a few weeks. What I find so cool, is how much I am able to not take things personally, which I attribute to the Desteni I  Process. Within this process I begin to see how my mind works, how thoughts work and how the accumulation of thoughts can become emotions and feelings, the emotions being the fear, the doom and gloom as an idea of what may happen in the future based on a past where I had an idea about what I was based on mis-takes that were myself lacking an understanding of moving myself in practical ways. Then, the feelings that were justifications for the emotional reactions that were, again, the accumulation of fearful actions, where fear was allowing false evidence appearing to be real, which I allowed to define me.
Today I watched a talk about data collection, where it was suggested that machines will surpass humans in basic skills through data collection. Meaning a machine can collect data faster and then apply that data to, for example, win a chess game every time when playing with a human.
It was said that machines remediate many times and then are able to play the game.
It was also mentioned that our present bureaucracies have limited us, because they have become stagnant within allowing growth as the practices become entrenched, as the laws limit movement under the guise of protection.
I realize that as the system functions at present, that so many humans have little time and opportunity to remediate again and again until something is understood, as in having, for example the time to play chess enough to play well. Humans like these new computers, must also have the time to follow through mis-takes until the parts of the whole are sensed and integrated enough to enable mastery.
In our present system is there enough breathing space for people to develop themselves to the point of mastery? Do we have the opportunity to remediate until there are no longer mis-takes, and that what is before us is integrated enough that we can begin to create and transform? Have our bureaucracies become so burdensome that we are stagnant in our time and space to remediate in ways that allow us to understand that we can grow and expand in our awareness when we have the opportunity to learn?
Given all of this, what thoughts I had, that were of my experience, in a world where for some generations there has not been enough time to apply actions again and again that build understanding through making the mistakes and understanding that in learning we make mistakes as a necessary part of the process of learning. Many of my thoughts were limited because there was no understanding that learning is a process and that the mis-takes along the way do not define who I am, they simply show where I am within a process of building understanding of practical reality.
So, within spending time with another person, and in realizing that I am not defined by mis-takes, I can let them go, and simply look here, forgive the thought about a past of belief within a cycle of building understanding that had no real follow through into a real depth of understanding that I allowed to become a thought about who I am in my ability, when this was not who I was, it was where I was in a process of understanding and that this was in a world that for generations have been believing in the same self definitions based on not having had the opportunity to follow through and practice something until it was integrated and understood enough so that one could stand within this in certainty. Also, to realize within this, that it is the focus and certainty in the doing that is what is enjoyable. And this would build compassion, and empathy for others, and a desire to share because it is the realization that there are really no mis-takes, there is only practicing something until it is understood. Interacting with another person, after having walked the Desteni I Process  and coming to understand how my thoughts are a reflection of limitation and stagnation in not having allowed myself to realize that in learning and understanding here, as the practical reality, takes remediation until what is here is understood.  When there is disagreement, it simply means that there is not an equal understanding and thus, the solution is right in front of us, meaning the only way to be, is to investigate practical reality to see how it functions in common sense, as the form reveals the function so it can be understood, and that the past mis-takes - do not define or determine my personal value.
So, do we not see what our so-called computers are doing in all common sense? Do we not see that they are becoming so called “ smarter” than us as they practice and collect data, as the measure of the world around us? Do we not see what is so obvious and right in front of us?
We are believing that humans are incapable, and yet when a human has the chance and the ability to do, they expand. And, not only do they expand, they have the capacity to review the whole AND the parts and see patterns and then make choices that would not bring harm, because this is what each would chose in all practical common sense.
It is time to stand up and become the life that is here right in front of us. We need only do this, in joining together, as two or more in the name of what is best for all life, and create a system, one that is already in place structurally in many ways, and align this system to ensure that all have their basic needs met, and as such, can take the time to see the horizon as life as this planet that surrounds us and gives us the means to breath and be life, here.
We decide, lets get this done. Come back down to Earth. B-earth Yourself. Give yourself the gift of life.



Monday, October 6, 2014

Day 589 The Lag of Self Definition towards a Natural Expedition in Men


As each faction in our society looks in self interest into its own survival, there is a limitation within the collective communicating and sharing developments that lead to expediting actions needed to improve efficiency and give the space and time to understand practical reality in ways that allow interaction that furthers and sustains effective practices on a finite planet.
It seems to me that this has been forgotten, as each exists in a bubble within their own ideas about who they are. The society is a fabric of people, where perspectives for improvement come from all areas of life. It is like a mix of insight coming together and communicating is how new ways of seeing and thinking come about. It is easy to get caught up in a bubble and miss expansion, thus the people in this world working in other areas are a gift of insight, but that insight must be allowed communion or the efficiency in solving problems  becomes very slow, and the fires burning because of a lack of communication become the focus of the person in the bubble who feared looking outside for solutions, or accepting solutions that were shared and given because a fear of loss of a self definition is allowed precedence.
I see this in many places, where a “ non-profit” entity, which is just a form in words on paper where at the root it is a group of people working together to solve problems, will not have anything to do with a “ NGO” or non-government organization.” In the end these are all organizations of men, how the money flows through them, whether directly or indirectly really does not matter, as the layers of separation that we define as good or bad, or simply each point in the organization getting some monetary compensation in order to live, as we have accepted and allowed money to determine life.
One example is all the so-called non-profits offering consultations hanging in the foyer  of my local library, all making it clear that they are non- profits. But if I look past the initial shield/presentation, they are all organized people giving advice as to where and what to do to address their issues that brought them to the consultation.  In the end, to receive the interventions one must go and see that doctor, and interact with that private company that is profit based. So the screen of non-profit is a smoke and mirrors show that says it is good, but really is a pawn of profit. This happens on a global scale as well, and yet it also happens on the micro scale even within my own town. What I notice is the perceptual ability of people to not see this, which means that little investigation has been done, and often the reaction is based on ideas that define self, more than the practical reality of the sequences that are the real play-out all the way to the end
There is a company here, a social services company, that is privately owned and offers social services to parents, for example, that are having problems with their children. Mostly, the workers seem to hold hands with the parents and listen to their problems. Listening to problems is a good, but it is not something that actually follows through and solves the problem, And the problems become so overwhelming that there is not time to continue to go and have someone listen, I notice this because there are these groups set up and yet they do not appear to exist with any constancy. They rise and “ die” pretty fast. I called one such group and what I got was that, yes it had stopped for a while but was being reorganized into a better structure. It is like the government touting doing good, by setting up these entities, which are now being done by “ private” groups of people ( because that is what it is), but that don’t seem to really exist with any constancy.
I also looked into the owner of the non-profit and what I found was that the owner of this private providing social services group was, in another state is on the board of the private Federal Reserve Bank and on yet another board in another state of a hospital or medical entity. If we do not begin to see the layers here, that on one hand these so-called private groups of social services - ostensively to do a better job of organizing social services- have connections to monopolies in the background, and as such will naturally direct the flow of need in ways that serve the instigators own rent seeking, and realize that this is limiting insight within the collective ability to add insight via perspective who in having the insight and the ability to communicate it are actually men, organized men, no different than any other organized system. It is all really a construct of control, one that is not what is best for all. Were it functioning as something that solved problems, then there would be more constancy in the actions of the social services, the outcome of which would slowly be the removal of extensive social services as the problems created would end, as the nature of men is to expedite actions and expand in awareness. Somehow this is not happening, and the reason for this is in the systemic form of what we have accepted and allowed and what we believe in our individual lives, our bubbles of thought. How we define ourselves, and our reactions to what others think about how we have defined ourselves really show us how we are not paying attention to the whole, and the consequences of lack and counteract of need seeking, are in effect seeking for someone else to take care of the consequences of what has been ignored as we hold onto self definitions that are limited and creating a lag of conceptual development that would actually  move with practical reality in ways that expand and expedite actions that would improve existence that is the real nature of men.



Thursday, October 2, 2014

Day 588 Moving through the limitation of " I am uncomfortable."


 I had a conversation with another person, where they began to use statements such as “ I am uncomfortable with this” as part of what I was speaking about. I have to realize that they are within their existence existing as a mind construct that is of belief, opinion and idea, not bad, but caught up in their values and directives/motivations that can be caught in a limited view of the whole, even though the desired outcome overall is really no different. 
Another thing this person said was “ but we are trying to do this.” Here I realize that of course they are “ trying to do this” and that in so being this an entity of desire has been constructed to motivate, to seek, to be in a state of seeking.  I have been caught up in such a desire, and as such, missed what was right in front of me. This is because of the construct of this entity as accumulated questioning and attempts to fulfill a want based on realizing a lack existentially. The race within this can be so consuming that, as though one is moving so fast in a train that the reality can no longer be seen as it passes right in front of us outside the windows of our desire, like the windows of the train moving/racing past the physical landscape of earth. As our minds are imaginative machines, this can become greater than what is real, as the physical, that which we have moments of realizing as a form that moves and becomes limited in movement because of a separation into becoming mind subjugating matter, when the two must work in equal understanding, as the mind is ultimately dependent on the physical world, as each of us, in common sense is a point of perspective of practical reality, which means that we are all tools, in some ways, to give insight to and as creation here. But out ability to sense the whole, the commons as the physical is askew, and the lag creates a suppression of the capacity of life in formation to move with ease. I mean, there is a reason why eastern religions especially suggest to stop the mind. It is overall said that in order to see, one must stop the mind, a difficult task easily understood when we realize the imaginative capacity of the mind. On another front, it has been said, to bring heaven to earth, and in terms of the statements I heard from a person caught in their immediate existence, our mind constructs can become uncomfortable when asked to slow down and consider other perspectives, revealing how our mental constructs that are our imagination, become entities of comfort/acclimation in separation from reality manifest as a conceptual lag one may call an emotional reaction.

Change means to reconstruct within, and as that train racing in a track of belief, slowing down appears to be a discomfort, a turn from a construct of belief, but this is really all this is, a change. And within this to realize the physical is here as the gift of life, to stabilize and give order, with all the parts there to show the way. We need only look and see, that it is being all one, the within equal to the without, that is the way and the means to establishing a creation that is heaven on earth. A gift we need only accept in order to put an end to wanting a morality as mind as a lack , as imagination, as a collection of ideas, to be more than the whole of life in formation as the physical. 

I will write some Self forgiveness on my reactions as my own pre-emptive beliefs based on ideological goals as mind, not necessarily good or bad, but limiting in that I raced within myself at times, and as such missing the total landscape of the situation, which would be an action into solution with each thought, word and deed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from being here, equal and one with the words of another, my own ideas as thoughts and emotions and feelings, and an awareness of the whole, where I fear not the change within and as me to take that which is good and build the value of that in practical terms, something that may need to be repeated as allowing the dis-comfort of another the opportunity to slow down and reconstruct, as this is how understanding is built.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a belief only, of failure, of having made a mis-take, and within this to look at the whole and the parts,  my own beliefs and desires and wants, and those of another, taking into consideration their daily existence as their schedules and self interests as this, and to take the time to reconstruct the limitations and address them into solutions as building insight into the space and time of expression as mind and practical physical existence here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I hear the words  “ I am uncomfortable” that this is a red flag giving insight into beliefs, opinions and ideas, as the self interest of a constructed awareness in lack of practical living as a whole, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I as life have the ability to be compassionate and to sense the whole, and as this to realize solutions through simply looking at the forms that exist and realizing the flexibility of the mind as a mechanism of being a facsimile of reality only, and as such requires a constant cross reference to the whole as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to race within and as me, to not slow down and take the time to see, realize and understand the constructs of the mind as just this, a construct, and as it is something constructed, it is something that has the capacity to deconstruct and reconstruct, here.

When and as I find myself beginning to race, into and as a belief, opinion and idea, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand solutions through looking at emotional inequalities and bringing this back to a practical insight as to what considers all life as physical beings existing within creation as the physical, here.

When and as I find myself tensing up, I stop and I breath, especially in my chest area, and around my shoulders, I take in the parts and the whole, this being looking at the words of another, as the words of another are the human describing their concerns which are indicators of belief lacking understanding of practical existence.
When and as I find myself resisting the words of another, in and as addressing the words, but not seeing realizing and understanding that this simple state of being in and as understanding takes realignment, which means practical understanding of how the mind works as a mechanism of picture taking - so to speak- where the picture has movement, yet is in separation from practical reality when not cross referencing what is here as the means of existence which is the actual real physical world.

When and as I find myself listening to the words of another, I realizethe associations being built lending insight into limitation, and I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, as it is only within being equal and one to and as the physical that I have the common sense capacity to see the whole and the parts, and within this to realize that this must be practiced as this was not what was taught from the beginning as a starting point.

When and as I find myself reacting, especially in and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that I am here, that there is no place to fall, that the physical is visible and the mind is visible through words and as such can be practically realized as separation and solution, as the problem of limitation into the solution of practical common sense within the principle of what is best for all here.

When and as I find myself becoming angry as a reaction, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that I am disallowing my own innate ability as life to see he train and the physical landscape, so to speak, existing there right in front of me, and as such to also, see the practical form and function of reality where solutions and understanding can exist as the within being equal and one to the without, here.

When and as I find myself resisting practical reality as a racing in and as my mind, as a motivation as desire to attain a certain goal, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand here, as it is only here, that I can address myself, as the value is life as me in form here, as the physical.

When and as I find myself facing the words, “ I am uncomfortable” I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I look at practical existence in space and time, and I see, realize and understand that as life I am fluid and can deconstruct and reconstruct comforts of belief, and walk them, as standing equal and one within the principle of and as what is best for all, here.




Thursday, September 25, 2014

Day 587 Suppression: believing the entities of belief are real.


Suppression Character

I have had some problems in my chest, it feels like there is this shield there. The pressure from this has been bothering me for some time.
So, I looked at this point as a point of suppression. This suppression comes in a form or constriction, and if I go to look at the fear, there really is nothing there but ideas and beliefs, and opinions about things I never really took the time to investigate in practical common sense terms. Meaning, I separated myself from what I am here, a physical state of being as this is where I live and move and breath and exist. Here is what is real. If I am in separation from this, I am actually living in a mind construct, a projected idealism that separates the within of and as me from the without as this physical world that is the expression of life. Without this physical world I cannot exist, as this was here, and will be here when I am no longer here. And I can only continue as life, and life accepts all things, because the nature of life is creation. Creative ability is a transformative ability as this is how things are formed. And form reveals function. Form is both the particle and the wave. Makes sense. Thus, the physical world is life and must begin to move in ways that respect all of it.

Last night as I talked with someone, I looked at the movement in my chest area. I looked at where I created ideas about a situation more than just being here, at ease, realizing that I have the capacity to direct myself in ways that  allow myself to determine what I am. Meaning, what am I allowing to define me, more than taking anything personally being said, or being believed - as idea, and within this realizing that change is a  natural part of life and that all around me is transformation in every moment.
So, within my chest I could let the “ rise” of needing to protect, in this moment, go, and breath, I was here.
To some extent, I realized that what is considered the mundane, is what is real, and within this that realizing the mundane allows me to have the space and the time to participate within the slow physical movement of transformation, because there is plenty of space to be here, to take the time to see, and realize what is here. It is only the busyness of the mind that appears to have no time, and a consequence of having allowed this on earth as what men have been doing, is what has created the systemic structures that have all running after money to survive, as an idea as a self definition in ignorance of the practical physical world, has been defining us, and manifesting a projection as our present system that is overall, in separation from life, from being equal to creation. 
It is like allowing myself to become the beLIEf I allowed and letting it fall as me, back down to the ground here, like accepting it, and realizing there is really no place to fall. It is letting the self definitions go and then beginning to stand here, in common sense of that which I am that is life as this actual physical world.
Interesting that the habituated self, remains and as this, sadness is letting one thing go, this projected personality, and turning into rebuilding, because any equality to life has not really been lived. Earth, our hearth, our heart, must be aligned here in expression with and as accepting the physical as creation. What we believe as mind, is meta-physical, not good or bad, but a projection from the physical world, dependent on it.
This one incremental movement, to just let this “ down” as my heart area, as not reacting, as not constricting, opened up the shield, lessened its intensity and gave direction that was of more ease than that act of tension in protection and self defense based on an abstracted idea of reality. Is this what Christ meant when he said “ though I walk in the valley of the shadow of good and evil, I see no evil”?  and within this, what I see is the potential of life, of creation being denied and that it is here within us, right in front of us? Are there many who realize that war is not the answer, war is an act that bears no witness to life, is only  a system of profit based on an idea that one projected self definition of more exists than another idea of more in separation of the context of creation? This really is a melodramatic movie happening in the minds of men that destroys to allow an egotistical construction that is a bubble self only.
I can decide what defines me, I can shape what I am within, and the physical world is me, and is what stabilizes me here, as I am of the same substance and as such, a part of creation. So, it is to bring myself back down to here, equal and one with and as what has been labeled as “ mundane” to accept the gift of life as the physical. 

Thus.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to constrict in and as my chest area, to tense up based on an idea in and as my mind, in fear and reaction as protection and self defense, overall a separation from being equal in common sense of creation as the physical here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that an abstract entity as a thought is more than reality as the physical, as the physical is life information, life in expression here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing an idea of what i am here, not a good or  a bad but a selection of the qualities of what is here, where one quality is made less than another, and where according to exposure and opportunity more self direction has been learned but even this overall, is in limitation of creation as the physical,  as were it not so, then this world would be heaven on earth, an expression of the physical world at ease, communicating, interacting in ways that do no harm and create in respect of what is best for all, realizing we are all the same, of the same means of life information as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not let myself go, as in letting go of an idea, and cross referencing reality in every moment, using the ability of myself as life to sense what is here, realizing the mind is a projection that becomes a personality that I accept and allow that is a separation from  life and has no real directive capacity and is idealized thought, and thus, I stop and I slow down and I breath and I see, realize and understand that I am here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take things personally, which is myself believing that an idea can define me, and I slow myself down and investigate the actual real physical world to see, realize and understand that I exist here, respecting the physical world as creation information.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in this letting go there is what might be called a “ sadness” and as this movement, I see, realize and understand that this is simply change, a form of transformation only, like the changing of the turning from one direction to another, and that in moving through this if I resist this, the sadness - which is only a slowing down - will persist, as in this being a slowing down, there is, just as in a car slowing down, a sense of resistance, where on the other side of this resistance is the point of change, and as this I realize I have accepted and allowed this resistance that is myself allowing inferiority to life here, and for this I forgive myself.
When and as I find myself tensing up in and as my chest area, I stop and I breath and i allow myself to “ fall” to accept the change, the moving from chasing an idea, to coming back down to earth, and realizing the sense of slowing down is only a sense of slowing down, and that when I allow this, there is an ease and a realization that a personification does not define me here and that a personification as mind, can only define me if I accept and allow it, if I believe this to be more than myself as life here, as a physical state of being-ness as what life is and would be in common sense.
When and as I find myself tensing up in my chest area, I stop and I breath and i slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that I can “ fall” as in letting go of self defining ideas, because I am here as physical being-ness where I am equal and one to the very substance of life, and as this i can slow down and investigate what does no harm, and investigate what sustains the physical and allows expression, and the means of expression here as what circulates and shares understanding of practical physical reality, here.
When and as I find myself tensing up in and as my chest area, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I investigate all things, meaning paying attention to what I buy, for instance, to realize what supports all life, and also to realize myself as a creator, that is able to stand with others to create a change that supports all life on earth, which is, at the moment because of what has been accepted, to allow money to flow, as the wealth created, to flow to all men to enable men to become custodians of the physical world, in and as realizing the value is life here, where all forms of life are respected and supported.


Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Day 586 The consent to be governed

Cartoon depiction of the United States, its te...
Cartoon depiction of the United States, its territories, and US controlled regions as a classroom with belligerent Philippines, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and Cuba (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The consent to be governed.

I noticed in a speech that a remark was made about “ the consent to be governed’ and how this has happened in my state in relation to the American “ common core” standards being implemented. I was at a  meeting and one of the speakers in support of this said that the people, “ we” had consented to this, and yet in this room were educated people who were there to speak up against this. If the governed consented then why was there so much dissent. Obviously , there is a disconnect here.
What I also have noticed, because I called my local school district to ask them for the research backing common core, that there was no research. The paper work I received was about some “ committee”  of supposed professional people who were signified by some collective group name, and that the governors had worked in tandem with these ambiguous named officials to implement common core. AND, within this, there was a note that the governors were asking the federal government to do more research/study into what were “ best practices” being used in countries where educational levels were greater than the states.
To me, that these deciding institutions and these governors are making a decision about implementation and then, in double speak, turning around and abdicating responsibility in making a statement that on a federal level more research needs to be done is a contradiction, one that shows no real governance, so how can any statement be made about the collective being a consenting-to-governance-body, where there is no real substantial governance made being so obvious in asking for research?
THis whole thing is like a smoke and mirrors show of no substance, and the administrators have no answer because I have asked them, what I get is abdication, as one refers me to another, and so it goes round and round. Meanwhile the children suffer, confined to a room where the directives have no substance, no real research, and the administrators answer questions by referral to another.
It reminds me of calling a company one time to find out how skim milk is actually made, because I was told that it was made from powered milk, and I could not believe this at the time. So, I called and I asked the first person who answered, and she sent me to another, who sent me to another, and so on and on it went until eventually I suddenly found myself talking with the first woman ( some were men) with whom I had spoke.
I brought this up to this woman, that I had been traveling around being passed from one to another, and that here I was back again. So, I asked her the question again. What she said in response to me asking if skim milk, that bottled/packaged milk on the store shelves, was made from powder, she said to me, “ no, it is made from milk that has had the water taken out of it”

Yes, I know, I was astounded. It is like a word game, where the meaning of the words have no significance, it is the sequence of the words that must be said. Quite astounding. One cannot say, skim milk is made from powered milk, one has to say, skim milk is made from milk that has had the water taken out of it. 
So, in effect, this is what the consent of the governed has become. And I ask myself here, as all of this is done through a play of words, does the consent of the governed mean that those who have the label of “ governors” mean that any decisions they make become by default a statement directed to those who ask questions for what makes no sense and has no real research or substance as “ the consent of the governed”?
So, we are all allowing this META-physical form govern us, and as we can see, it has no real substance, and then, within this, we become angry that solutions are not happening and the problems are growing. It sounds like a cancer does it not? It is a form that has no answerability and passes responsibility around to end up with a set of words that admit to what we see is going on.  And yet, we keep asking this meta-physical system of no real responsibility to continue to govern us! 
I mean, this is a very thin veil, one that can be removed and realized with little effort is we simply make the decision to do so. But it will have to be made by the many, standing together, investigating here on the ground and having the courage to use our common sense and take actions that actually change this metaphysical smoke and mirrors show that admits to not having any real, substantive research. The parts are here, and we can see them. Tantrums about how ridiculous this is is just more metaphysical-smoke-blowing around the smoke that has accumulated! lol, I have to laugh it is so silly. But in the end it limits all our lives, and it is us who have accepted and allowed it.
How can any research and proposals of efficacy come from such a system? There is too much smoke here to really see, so it is not going to happen. The veil must be lifted, and common sense the choice made. Obviously, the very from and design of our schools is not working, and has to change, among other things. 
If, as Obama has said, that we are the consent of the governed, and yet we have perpetual war making a few a lot of profit, and children that are starving and lacking in education, and animals that are filled with tumors and packaged up and placed into our supermarkets, and starfish melting off the coast of California - another scenario where no one seems to know what is causing this despite vast amounts of plastic floating in our oceans and radio active material streaming in currents, and bees dying off, and fracking waste not being allowed to be proved to be what is blatantly within an environment and as touted as “ no proof” simply because there is no ostensibly “ real” research given public voice. I mean the list can go on and on. This is the “ consent of the governed” that we are all accepting and allowing, so as the consequences come, we can really blame no one but ourselves because we consented to it and became complacent within it. In the end, we are the same as the administrators who try and abdicate any responsibility. They simply mimic what we are, those who consented to be governed, which was, as a starting point, a abdication of responsibility.
Thus the solution is to become responsible. And to ensure that all have the means to become responsible. If one human can do this, so can all, as we are all the same. Our economic models define what creates a somewhat more responsible human being through our admissions of lack, and that is proper food, an education ( opportunity and exposure, full exposure , not just 50 minute music classes one day a week in elementary school type thing - as an example ) stable shelter, and clean water.
In the end, war is really a form of suppression, it takes and consumes what is here, and all it is is the same mechanism, that of not being responsible. Being responsible is the way out of this, and how to be responsible is what makes sense, as what does no harm, as what is best for all. We decide, and the power is in standing up and creating a system that allows each a direct voice and ability to take care of ourselves as physical beingness, because this is what we are here.

It is a practical world, a physical state of being. When each is given what supports the physical, each can then stand as life, in full potential as this is the way to responsibility. Support a Living Income Guarantee, time to become responsible. We all have common sense, it is right in front of us, we need only remove the veil of inferiority to it.