Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Day 191 De-serving life

I feel like I am trying to stand back and see what I am as every single movement that I dress myself as. In a way I think I have been trying to do this since the death of my husband, when everyone around me was telling me what i should do, and/or why what happened happened, where none of it fit the “crime” so to speak. None of it explained anything. Nothing.
So within this unworthy character, I am trying to walk what I do as I interact with others.
Why do I fold my arms over my chest and take on a mask of “ no emotion” which belies emotion?
Where everything tightens, the back, the face; the back a resistance to giving of self, the face embarrassment for hiding.
All of this reliving experience as knowledge and information instead of looking at what is actually here as the very fabric of this physical existence. In a way, our whole physical selves are like the bats, we can sense this totality as existence, we have simply not been taught to utilize this. So I must breath and look and give in and as myself as life, and not the storm ofthoughts, ideas and opinions , in and as my mind. My physical constrictions represent my mind limitations as thoughts, which are judgements, which are protection and defense in fear of loss, which is an admission of myself not using common sense as what I am as life, one and equal to what is here. Like the sound of the word, a “ sphere,” a bubble separate and thus in lack of, common sense of what is physically actually real here. I am the wave and the particle, yet I am de-serving the wave through a belief in deserving and thus denying what I am. Within this i create a happy face on my actions to justify my de-serving as ‘ ignorance of life.’
So, if I have the thought that something is impossible I am my mind, as my mind will only see the limited constraints of a system that is a constraint - human created- that is the play outof a fear/ sphere of loss of common sense, this fear of loss a separation from life, and this capitalistic system is a separation from life, so evident in that it is not supporting life, it has become but a game of protection and defense for resources, a cry of a belief in deserving more and less ideologies, a form of shuffling resources around in conquest instead of in SHARING and GIVING and valuing life. This mono-culture of mono-poling need not exist and it is ridiculous- it is a ridicule of life- thus it is the opposite of life, in opposition of lfie.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hide myself through folding my arms across my chest and wearing a mask of no emotion when and as I face another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in allowing myself to be and become this I am in effect creating what I reap, I am withholdingcommunication and thus creating lack of communication with and as what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being myself here, in and as fearing that something will be lost, like honor, or personification in and as beliefs as ideas and opinions about what I am, based on my past, as my perception of myself within the limited values of a system of inequality, instead of being here and looking at what is actually here that values life, here.

I commit myself to breathing, to seeing realizing and understanding that which I fear as realizing the very actions I exist as and in as my human physical body, to see, realize and understand how and with what, as thoughts , emotions and feelings, supporting ideas, opinions and beliefs, as back chat and imaginations in and as my mind, as memories, all of which is a knowledge and information based on judgements taught by those who came before me as this is what they were through generations of such to the extent that an outward manifestation of the present system is one and the same in form and structure, to within all this begin to see realize and understand this quantum mind structure of separation, to realign my own accepted and allowed protection and defense/judgement outflows that inhibit myself as life here.
I commit myself to realizing that I must breath and realize how my self within fear, as judgements, is what separates me from myself as life, where I in essence fear being myself as life here.
I commit myself to breathing and to no longer allow myself to respond as the fear of being unworthy, realizing that this is myself in fear of speaking in common sense, where I see no place to go within the knowledge and information as the mind and thus shut down, which is not a solution, as I must breath, and sense what I have accepted and allowed as the behaviors I exhibit, and forgive these to see realize and understand the common sense of life as oneness and equality as this is what is real and what is the substance of what is here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that this inner voice of ‘this post not being clear enough” is myself in self judgement, where I see, realize and understand that I want a quick fix as solution, without having walked the detail of my quantum mind as the thoughts, imaginations, back chat, reactions, physical reactions and memories as the collection of limited values as the informing mechanism that I have accepted and allowed as a definition of what i am in separation from life, here.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Day 190 A System of Fuzzy Logic

What happens when I allow myself to serve the needs of another as a learned behavior, where I allow myself to become a relationship to another as ensuring their supposed comfort, as in allowing my own common sense to become secondary, or associate myself relative to that other person, meaning I am worth less, as the state of the other is the value instead of the value being here, one and equal to all that is here as life?
What barriers to I build in relation to this? What common sense do I withhold within myself in awareness of what is real here, to serve this? Is it just that common sense does not fit into expectations within an accepted morality? Is it that common sense denies platforms of validating experiences? And would I not be placing myself into a need to validate myself, where I feel that this is improper and then silently bask in sorrow as I have gone into a polarity of more than and less than within social constructs of behavior?
In many ways this focus on the state of the other is a desire for control within survival, as this is all that was perceived by myself to work with as how to exist within this survival based system of inequality, and also to use knowledge and information to “even the scales” as in taking a stand of lack and believing myself to be more in holding the sorrow to elevate the other, which is admitting to and accepting existential fear and instead of facing the fear trying to placate this fear, like running away from the fear, like resisting common sense.
So, it is like fearing being common sense. Is common sense what is taught to us? No. Common sense would mean learning about what is actually here. This is fear of being self as life, here. it is fear of communicating common sense. And this must stop with myself , here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I accept and allow myself to fear common sense in and as life , here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to serve the personification of another in fear of judgement and isolation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the reactions of another to the point where I have even lied to not face the reactions of another for fear of punishment should I be self honest, which ends up being more detrimental to myself and others within my environment and thus is not worth it.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have feared performing in common sense where I actually remember holding myself back because I believed that should I really go for it, it would be too much and too exposing and thus I had a voice in and as my mind tell me - one time when I performed- that I should not do this as I would be attacked - which I have written about before - and i see, realize and understand that this ended up creating a performance of constriction and self insecurity, as in not using common sense there was no real substance with which to express.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear common sense as though something will be lost, when the opposite is what is real as there is no choice but to exist within common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting this feeling of sorrow to pour down my back physically within myself as thought that something may be lost should i exist within common sense, a fuzzy logic masking a fear of loss as an idea, belief, or opinion.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become like a paper dress up doll, where I copy and paste the behaviors in and as the role of the woman, taking on the sorrow, through accepting a less than stand of myself in and as admitting to existential sorrow through believing I need to support the other within the other remaining within and as a state of ease, thus existing as a polarity of more than and less than, creating a lack of common sense of what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in not standing fast within and as common sense, I create the very insecurity felt within and as myself here, and the insecurity within another, the very thing wanting to be avoided, being what manifests.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that a separation from common sense, is what role play, as female and male, creates, thus that which is run to is that which creates the insecurity, as though the belief in the role as support is actually what creates the problem of separation and lack of communication.

I commit myself to breathing, to realizing what is the trigger into and as this association in focus to the emotions and feelings of another, which is going into control, and going into a believed self preservation instead of remaining here in common sense in and as life.
I commit myself to not see, realize and understand that self honesty can only exist within and as common sense of what is actually physically here, thus when and as I feel myself going into a sorrow, as a less than, as a sense of duty to ensure a perceived state of ease in another, I am in separation from common sense, and am allowing and accepting a belief that another must be made to remain happy, which admits to a state of “unhappy” as the potential, where this actually creates a relationship in separation from common sense, here and is not supportive of what is actually here.
I commit myself to see, realize and understand that the only real support and the only real communication available is with what is actually physically here, as the alternative in and as wanting to control the state of another is in separation from here, and a practice that continues a non-substantive energetic based existence.
I commit myself to remaining within and as common sense of what is here, breathing, and no longer allowing myself to fear the judgements of others, as I am sure they will come in and as reaction to common sense,.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing, and understanding the common sense of oneness in equality through stopping and breathing when and as I notice a judgement from within or from without, directly or indirectly, as such is a fear of loss, illusory as nothing can be lost as life, where a judgement is a fear of loss, and or protection for a few, both an ignorance of the totality of what is here.
I commit myself to remaining here in common sense and to no longer fear the verbal backlash of the mind, as it is only the voice of experience based on a past within what was learned and passed down within a system of fuzzy logic and separation from life.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Day 189 A chance meeting and communication

Day 189
I realize as I was talking to myself one day- yes another issue- that in trying to say something I was in effect trying to say something with emotions. And I realize there is no clarity within this. And then, I realize that this is how we are taught to communicate. So, can I say something without terms and phrases, as learned reactions, without being emotional, do I really know what it is that I am trying to say?
I ran into an old friend, they stood there fiddling with their fingers, avoiding eye contact. Myself I could not speak, there was plenty spinning around in my mind, but none of it really was what I wanted to say. It was all this emotional/feeling stuff that was incomplete communication - so to speak.
I noticed I held my arms together over my chest. I was protecting myself. From what? Emotion? Feeling? Loss? Fear of judgement? What is this stew?
This is all a stew of emotion and feelings based on limited values, as no resolution or direction was taken, realized, made.
It is like wanting to stop what is understood to be ridiculous, and actually not having the means to communicate, or so it seems. But way down at the end of this tunnel of this emotional vortex there is self just wanting to live, to be, to communicate. and self has not had very much practice in communicating directly without separation into fear as emotion, feeling and thoughts of judgements.
Because I could find nothing to say, that was not of emotion and feeling, as reaction, and arms were held in protection, and fingers were fiddling, I said my goodbyes and turned and left. Not a solution.
This is where the absolute as “what is best for all” comes in, as this can have no lying, no deceit, no greed, no more than and no less than.
I want to say I am sorry, that I regret all the fears, all the emotions, all the feelings, as none of this was myself communicating, it was myself not being here in common sense. But, even to wallow in this is being an emotion and a feeling, a memory of the past, and an idea of loss and impossibility, as it is all the same, an expression of emotions and feelings and thoughts of should have, could have, would have. None of it is respecting and being one and equal to what is real, here, as the very substance of life as what we are.
All that I want to communicate, from my arsenal- as phrases and means and ways- is what I have been taught, my language that are more than just one word, my communications are divisions into and as emotions and feelings as judgements, that I believe are not my fault, they are the fault of the object before me , when in essence the object before me is not hearing and thus being my communication, as all that I know, of emotions, feelings and thoughts of more than and less than, as what I believe will match that ad on tv, that image and likeness of value, constructs presented.
So, if i realize this and I stand before someone wanting to communicate, and there is nothing in my arsenal of phrases and words, as all I have learned is a dictated phrased value, an energy absorbed, then I will stand there not finding anyway to really express myself as life, without an effort and practice.
And within this, if this is what is the practice of another, the bubble of being a form of this emotional communication, there will end up being no communication.
The capitalistic system is geared towards using the emotions and feelings to control and dictate, and then threatening death - as in having no money- if one should not comply. This means that the continuation of a lack of communication through what are essentially repeated emotional phrases - as values- will continue and the communication of self, in ease, as life will become more and more difficult.
I have a twin sister with an autistic son.
He would yell a lot, make loud screaming noises and throw a lot of tantrums. Now he is beginning to have a more socially acceptable behavior. But he tends to walk up to anyone and ask questions, and some people become annoyed.
What he would do when he was younger was play with telephones, learning all the numbers in sequence. And when he walked into a store he would run and find all the electrical outlets. He also like to flush the toilet all the time when he was at my home.
Here is the little human, who at a very young age, knew numbers, and all the different manufacturers of cars by make and model.
What he has to learn was the phrases to be spoken to interact with people. These he would practice and now he recites them. He can appear to be normal, as is the “norm” within our world.
This is communicating through learned sequences, as whole phrases without any direction from the substance of what is the parts of the phrase. And here this child was going around instantly creating a stability for himself by organizing all the objects in a room ( he could remember what were the objects in the room). When his worldchanged he had to immediately find a point of stability through this. Is this because he had to make a jump - so to speak- to an understanding without being given any direction within the very substance of what the real source of life, as the substance of life, was?
That is really messed up.
Think of animals training, it is the same thing, forcing into being a picture without any ability to communicate as the very substance as what we are as life.
Imagine how much vertigo, and dizziness this would cause, a huge space of miss-understanding of what we actually are as life, and then an absenteeism from self as life within communication.
We/I really need to slow waaaaayyyyyyy down and stand within self as life, here, to breath and bring ourselves into and as ourselves as life. This is why it is necessary to study how the systems work, to look at how the financial system works, to look at what we are within as emotions and feelings and thoughts, to take these phrases apart, the constructions of language, of idea, of opinion, of belief, and realize that we are all life this, autistic boy, trying to communicate but having these required forms thrown at us as how we should be without any understanding of what is here as life. What would happen within this is that one will get to a point where it appears - as one only sees what is learned- an ability to communicate what is wanted to be expressed is not existent within, as there was no real development within self as life, and only already constructed labels forced onto as what we are. And as this boy is showing us, we organize by label without any understanding of what is physically actually real, here.
In this no one here on earth has really “gotten” anything! has really understood anything. Which is why I exist -as I have accepted and allowed this and it is all I know as what i was taught- within worth and unworth, because I am not directing myself within the very substance as life here, I am trying to use already structured systems to express myself instead of being here, with and as the substance of life, that will only exist within what is best for all, as this is how life exists, here. The detail of how that substance as life exists as life is ignored, and thus a total understanding of life is not allowed to express itself, and yet it must be here in everything, right in front of us.
Thus common sense of what is here must be realized by all. Equal and one to become equal and one, to allow earth to become an expression of life. This is why the present system as capitalism must stop, it is the outflow of the separation from ourselves as life. To begin to realize life here, this system must change. There are too many caught up within it that cannot possible survive. Therefor, it is up to those who have the ability to stand and organize a body, a communication of equality, as in the actual formation of a system of equality as Equal Money, to stand and implement this. As this is how the un-equalizing forms that exist were built. Equal Money is the system to walk us into standing within and as the substance of ourselves as life.
One need only look at the news to see rampant behaviors of frustrated emotional and feelings behaviors. All ignorant of life. Most of the crime is emotional frustration and much of the new age “feel good” behavior is hiding from the “bad/frustrated/survival” behaviors. If this need to find “happy” feelings and states of being exist, than this admits the “bad” exists. This is simply hiding from what is actually here, selectively taking what supports ignorance, and or only following a sequence to a point that gets for one what one wants in self interest.
Just ask someone to continue a line of thoughts within choice, and inevitably irritation will be the response, as the following of consequence leads to that person no longer being able to hide their self interest. Here the responses can also start such as “ I don’t know the answer to that”, or “this is non of my concern ( the switch from the collective to the personal- avoidance tactic BIG TIME) “, all these responses really reveal is an inability to look at what is here, because then one would have no choice but to stand up. The problem here is that there is no other choice, as the abuse ignorance causes of not looking at all effects absolutely. Thus denying research and stating that there is no proof is abusive, and an act of self interest that has no regard for life. NONE. and this is evil.
Within this we, the human, are responsible for all the autistic children in this world, as they are the product of our accepted and allowed avoidance tactic of looking at the total consequences of our actions.
We are sowing what we reaped, and we have no one to blame but ourselves every time we say, “there is no proof” when the proof is all around us and will remain and become more and more of a problem until we realize we are responsible as the one choice, the choice of what is best for all.
Best practices will come with realizing equality as life. Equal Money, Support life.
Time to realize what your emotions, thoughts and feeling are as what separates self from life.
Walk the desteni lite process. It is FREE.
Find the link at

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Day 188 Reactions in fear of being judged as unworthy.

Day 188
Reactions in fear of being judged as unworthy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear that I will be judged as unworthy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become so consumed in fear of being considered unworthy, meaningless, unequal, boring, inadequate, non-entertaining, stupid, uneducated that I brace myself as try to fulfill all of what I perceive I lack and thus overwhelm myself with ideas, opinions and beliefs, as knowledge and information, as what is taught by family, society, media, education that I separate myself from what is actually physically, as in common sense from/of what is here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in bracing myself to supposedly ensure I don’t miss what might cause dis-ease in another I end up becoming a judgement in protection and defense of ideas, opinions and beliefs instead of remaining here with what supports me as life, this actual physical world, where this judgement as limited values, as what is learned and propagated as value within family, media, education, society, is in service to a system of inequality, where this being of myself within judgement as mind, separates me from what is actually here as life, where I take the very substance in and as life and “warp” it into limited values as knowledge and information, forcing limited criteria as the means of communication that does not include an awareness of the totality of what is here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to physically take on the cloak of judgement, as what is taught that is of limited consideration of what is actually here, and thus in taking on this cloak of values as what is taught, I create a veil of limited insight and separate myself from myself as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the substance of life is forgiving, and thus when I take on a system of values as what is taught I accept a limited means of communication as this limited means of communication submits to limited values, and thus do these limited values dominate the very expression of myself here, where this is difficult to see, as this is all that I have ever been, as what i was taught, as what I accepted, thus to step outside of these tools of guidance, as belief, opinion and idea, I must stop and breath, and bring myself back here to the physical, as this physical world is the means, as earth, to b-earth myself one and equal, to and as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react as a survival suit of limited ideas, beliefs and opinions from a starting point as an idea that I am less than, that I am unworthy, which in itself is a denial of myself as life, as I am here on this earth and thus as life I have the ability as what I am to breath and bring myself here to what is actually real, this physical world, to see, realize and understand what is real and not what is as a photo in and as my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to spite life through fear of loss, to begin to compare myself to another, which is really comparing values of more than and less than, which is removing myself from equality and oneness as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I blame myself I am in essence believing that I did not see enough “knowledge and information” to eliminate a sense of dis-ease in another, where this is myself in separation from what is physically here in common sense, towards myself and another, where I not only separate myself from life, I separate the other from realizing themselves as life, as I cannot determine how another is within and as themselves, as they must see this for themselves, and within this this is allowing the other to birth themselves as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become judgement about another, where judgement is placing a label on another, which is an act of using knowledge and information as what has been taught within a system of inequality and thus separation from life, as life is the substance of what all that is here is, and thus separation into ideas of more than and less than is a crime against life, as is played out within the amount of poverty on earth, where so many are denied what is needed to sustain themselves as life as it is allowed to take the resources from under their feet to be distributed, via the representation as money, to a few within a belief that what is here can be owned through signature on a piece of paper, an illusion creating a reality ofabuse and negligence of life, here on a planet that is to b-earth life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that within trying to compensate for a belief in being unworthy, I am in effect accepting and allowing judgements and limited values, as knowledge and information, as ideas, beliefs and opinions in submission to a system of inequality, to be the currency of expression of myself, where this currency as words/language/structures of communication as the very fabric of sound, focus myself into and as limited insight into what is actually physically real, and thus within this I lose my own ability as life to be in common sense of this actual physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand, with every breath I take, to see that the verbal dialogue in and as my mind is the voice of my separation as beliefs, opinions and ideas taught through family, society, media and education, as judgements, spite, blame, comparison, anger, shyness, un-worth, jealousy, embarrassment as the ammunition as protection and defense to combat a fear of loss as I constrict physically in service to creating this ammunition in protection and defense of a fear of loss of a self definition as a survival suit within a system of inequality, a creation that is a separation from common sense with and as, equal and one, to this actual physical world and the substance as what i am, that is the value, which is life, here

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that each and every judgement i make, be it about myself or another, is myself utilizing knowledge and information, as ideas, opinions and beliefs that compose a survival suit from a starting point in and as fear of loss of life, that makes no sense as this is built from the very substance of life as what I am, as what is here, which is insane to take what supports and not realize this separation, as the taking of this substance and creating a picture with this substance and then believing that picture to be a starting point and ignoring the very substance of that picture as that picture cannot exist without a resource as what is it, thus if ideas, beliefs and opinions are given more value and not realized for what they are, and made doctrine, as the starting point of dictate, as a word of “god” then a separation from self as the substance of life would begin, and self as life forgotten to knowledge and information as primary value instead of common sense of what sustains which is the substance of life, here. Which is what is being accepted and allowed and effecting all life on earth, as the substance of life as the value is ignored.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that the voices in and as my mind, as the words moving through and as my mind are the mirrorsof my separation from life, are the values taught within a system of inequality, self accepted and allowed and created through the following of utilizing values to define myself instead of realizing myself here in allowing myself to actually enjoy life through composing and disciplining myself into and as an expression in and as life, where myself as life cannot be lost, yet has been lost through the acceptance and allowance of ideas as dictates to be what is the starting point of self direction, and thus creating self dishonesty instead of self honesty in and as the substance of life, equal and one, and thus realizing there be no need to exist within a fear of loss.

I commit myself to deconstructing the castle of protection and defense, constriction from this actual physical world, of which the very wall of my castle as mind are constructed of and composed of, and taking these walls down brick by brick, realizing these bricks are of knowledge and information, as idea, belief and opinion of more than and less than, as any value judgement, as any racial thought, as any justification, as any blaming thought, expressed word, as any comparison, and any expression of fear as anger, as any desire want and or need, to stop and to breath and to bring myself back here to earth, to equalize myself with and to, in common sense, with this actual physical gift of life, this physical earth, this place of actual b-earth of life into and as oneness and equality as life, here.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Day 187 Worthlessness; Preparing to avoid judgement

Day 187
Continuation from previous post where I realized I constricted in the presence of another in fear of judgement and in preparedness to avoid being judged in a belief that something would be lost, that I might be placed lower on a scale of measure than another- the illusion developed within a system of gain and loss, more than and less than, an energetic construct in separation from life, ignorant of what is real, here, an illusion of separation that has been made huge, seemingly precious, a halo/bubble of televised limited values manifest as images in and as the mind, consuming the flesh of the physical for maintenance- causing disease as in taking the ease as what is real from actually physically being here, with what is real and life sustaining, this actual physical world.

When and as I prepare myself to be focused on another with whom I am working I stop and I breath and I do not allow myself to make huge the fears of myself based on a set of values that are limited as what I was taught, where I am a protection defense of belief, opinions and ideas about myself based on my past, utilizing these values, believing myself to need to sustain them through constantly comparing myself to others within an as my world to ensure that I maintain some “meaning” about what I am, all limited ideas separate from this actual physical world, a peer group “club” composed of humans in total abdication of what is real, this actual physical world.

When and as I see myself in “readingness” of what values I may contain of lack within the limited values of my societal world I stop and I breath, I focus on what is actually physically here and I forgive the back chat of the mind that is comparing what I have-where I am,-who is with me- how I speak-what I look like - how what is here-how I appear- who is with me that I judge as a measure of my worth- what obligatory personification “stance” I am supposed to “wear”/ “ware” - what the potential outcomes might or might not be should I NOT be of a certain “stance”/look/response to and towards another as I interact with this actual real physical world, within this I stop and I breath and I - as much as I am able - realize that what is real is what is physically actually here, and that any thought of blame, value judgement, is my self within limited insight in service to a world of superstition that serves a system of inequality, an alternate reality that separates from this actual physical world.
When and as I prepare myself through a physical constriction in readiness to serve a fear of loss within myself, existent as what was taught as a child as the adults around me and the society around me, and the focus of education around me, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down to stop an inward positioning of myself onto a web of values that support a system of inequality, a web that keeps me so busy with my one singular position that I am no longer aware that this web is in totality taking the resource of this physical world and “handing it up” to a few on the top of a pyramid that is composed of justifications that are belief, opinion and ideas that are in fact a superstition and not an actual awareness of what is physically real as this freely given abundant earth, this earth crying it name in the very sound of the word, the place of b-earth - the place of birth- the opportunity to realize self as life, through becoming one and equal to this actual physical world, thus is what is real placed directly in front of us, a gift of life, as no real parent would do anything else for a child, and life is the “parent” and life is “here” as this physical world.

When and as I interact with another I stop and I breath and I hold my common ground in and as being here in practical common sense of this actual physical world, and I see, realize and understand that any blame and judgement from another, any idea , opinion and belief in and as a comparison of myself through idea, belief and opinions as what I have been taught to focus on and as, I stop and I breath, and I realize that the spewings of the mind - as the system of limited values - is a separation from life, from equality and oneness with and as what is actually practically physically here and within this I do not react to blame and judgement as this is not myself in self direction in and as life, in self honesty in and as life, in self responsibility in and as life here.