Monday, September 26, 2016

The Distraction of Micro Management and Intuition. Is Hillary Clinton equal to life? Day 720

I am interested in learning about chemistry and organic chemistry and biology. I realize over time, within doing a little over day, that I can accumulate an understanding of the parts and whole of these systems, how they interact, as their inter-relationships and what that means in terms of the plants and the animals around me, and my own physical body.

I have to build and focus on this, always relating this to this actual and real physical world. It must have a living context.

In doing this, I had to go and look at exponents. I have had some exposure to exponents but not a whole lot of exposure.

During the process I wanted to use laws or rules - guides as knowledge and information, from my past, about how one multiplies negative numbers etc. What I realized as I did a lesson in exponents, is that the former cannot be applied to the later.  Or, my understanding was so in one context only, I did not have the spatial understanding of negatives being a kind of division. The point here was that I found I had to move counter to my beliefs,  I had to move in a counter-intuitive way, as the information that is and was me as my past.

Within the school learning model, as the direct instruction model, one is introduced to new information, and then practices that new information, in integrative activities, and then one practices this on one’s own, reviews it etc. Inherent in this process is one bringing one’s focus onto the form, and ‘ relating’ to it again and again. Thus, one builds an awareness of it, one is developing a relationship.

This then is filed in the body, and eventually can become automated. What happens in this context over time is a forgetfulness of the information that one accepts to direct one’s self. 

In the context of moving counter-intuitively within myself, I had to slow down a train of past information and apply a new perspective within my presence here. And, I had to practice this change. And, I will have to practice this again, over a period of time, being aware of my past habit, recognizing it and moving into the new. 

If I have resistance, then I have to look at why I have that resistance. In this world, it could be that I have another task I must do that I keep in the back of my head. I am not being the director of myself in totality, in presence within what I am doing. And yet, just as that past information is not going anywhere, because I am having to move counter to it, I realize on some level, that I need not hold onto something, because it is essentially not going to go away!  lol, this is where writing a list of what must be done in a day is helpful, because I need not think about something, I can just move through the list.

Overall, what does this experience reveal? It reveals that we move as the information we accept and allow. It means that we can have an idea about something and that this idea, over time, can become this ambiguous information automated within us that we realize as information when we have to learn something new that is counter to this information, which is what being counter-intuitive means. 

This reminds me of having worked with others. Suddenly, the other person comes and says something like, “ I have a feeling that this is ... this or that” And I ask some questions and meet with a repetition of an ambiguous statement as “ well, I have a feeling about this.” There is no other answer but this “ I have a feeling.”  

Since I realize in learning something, that I take in new information, that with practice becomes how I direct myself, and that information automating, to the point where I do not see that information unless i have to apply it in a situation where my information must change, I have forgotten what it is that I use to direct myself. I would not have realized my set way of working with negative numbers unless i had moved into looking at exponents. Here, I experienced what it means to move counter to my own set body of information. I would not have realized a sense of resistance as wanting to move in the learned way, and redirecting that in a new way. I have to ask myself how much do I do this in reality? How much to I move as a ‘ feeling’ without defining the information that is that ‘ feeling’ clearly, and respond with being present here, processing what is here, and changing what information that is me that I have accepted and allowed? This would mean overall, that when one has a ‘ feeling’ one is moving as what one believes, and if not clearly defined, is really not understanding that one is in a situation that is counter to one’s ideas, beliefs and opinions. One is, abdicating one’s presence and being ambiguous in relation to one’s intuition ( body of experience/inFORMation) and hence, resisting change. That intuitive info is bumping up against the practical world and believing itself to be greater than the practical. 

It gets to the point where this starts to become so obvious one could cause a lot of friction in calling this out. Yet, what else is there, it must be called out. This also demands a focus and a fearlessness in calling out these moralities because this is what they in essence are.

This brings me to another experience I have had. I have interacted with school committees. At one time I went and read ‘ the book’ in my state as to the rules and regulations for school committees. I started at the beginning of this 2 inch thick book. After the initial pages, where goals and principles were stated, I started to notice what I was reading was all these details, or, micro management about procedures. When I noticed that what I was reading was a micro-management system of the huge amount of paper work, I turned the subsequent pages and realized that I was reading directions as to how to file this line of paper work information etc, etc, etc.  Within this, I had to move counter intuitive to following information. I had to realize that the beginning of this ‘ book’ were the principles and guidelines of purpose, and the rest, which was most of this book, was simply about making sure the paper work was filed correctly. I was afraid to stand up and reveal this. I  believed that conceptually this would be counter to the running mechanism of the committee! Wow. 

I return to this past moment, because yesterday  I read some legal documents, and realized I was looking at the same thing I noticed within looking at the school committee documents/book.
These legal documents were so immersed in referencing past statutes, with all these numbers and letters and symbols being used to organize other documents, and the information was such of a micro management system, that I started to become confused and anxious within reading this. There may be an inherent logic within this system, yet to realize that inherent logic would take years. It is such a system of causing busy-ness in referencing all the associations one would not immediately see that what one looked at was not a law, but a series of being told how to move in every detail- to such an extent that self discovery would not exist. And yet, we understand in the education system, that self discovery is how we learn! Thus, it is as though the very system of what is not really law, but statutes as to manage every movement, is by design counter intuitive to how we learn, which is self discovery. And, that what exists as this is not a directive as lending understanding, but a purposeful distraction filled with associations by construction, to not allow one to discover that this present system micro manages as a means of separating one from one’s common sense ability!  I also have to ask myself how often I have not used my common sense and differentiated between principle and dictated direction? That ability to learn follows, yet without seeing the patterns, one loses a sense of principle, as what guides one. This means one loses a sense of the whole, the space of here, as one is tied to details that manage how one moves in a reality that reveals itself when one has the opportunity to interact with it. Yet is we are so focused on words on a page that are buried in association- a distraction in itself ( I will not go the next layer into subject redefinitions in the use of words!) - that it would be easy to forget reality, it would be easy to separate from what that micro management system was managing in the first place! Incredible. A crime, and a purposeful abuse of power.

That is so fucking messed up! Yet, this is a mirror reflection of what our intuitions are, as our set body of information that we at times use in an ambiguous way when we respond to things as “ I have a feeling”!  Each of us, inherent in the use of the statement “ I have a feeling’ ONLY, are basically using/following an associative web of information as what we have accepted as a practice to self direct, or, a self micro-management system, that we no longer can process or communicate because it is so layered with cross references in relation to that web of information- it is no wonder we come up with ambiguous statements such as “ I have a feeling’ ONLY to justify the choices we make!  In this, we are a busy work of information that has no real relationship to practical reality, and we resist and spite and react and fight for that inner intuition that resists a real relationship to this physical reality around us. Why do we follow without question?  Do we wonder why we lose our spatial sense of reality as we spend years on and in this physical form called earth?  Our set body of information is not equal to reality. This is practical, it is simple, it is OBVIOUS. It can be called out by name. The only thing stopping one from calling this out is one’s own set body of information,  or one’s intuition, believed to be greater than here,greater than this actual physical world around us, that ground under one’s feet.   Our centralized, government control system of micro managing every move we make is a reflection of each of us being this within ourselves, and it is managing us, in the mirror image of us, because this whole state of being is not being responsible as living a real, direct relationship to what we are as a state of physical beingness! And, to do so, it must set ever more rigid systems of one-size-fits-all because this makes managing the separation from reality as each human, easier to manage! It is a total rejection of self as life,a total rejection of self responsibility. It is counter intuitive to reality, to life, and it causes endless suffering to this life on earth. It is self programming the flesh in self interest, without consideration for all things, which is what one must be and do, to equalize to creating an ‘ intuition’ that works so clearly, one never has to say “ I have a feeling” without being able to define that feeling. 

The irony in this is that the children tend to understand this very quickly. It is the adults, who resist and become full of friction because the deconstruction process is heavy and slow because they have allowed so much information without cross reference to reality to be what informs them.  The separation is thick and like a hamster running on a wheel, no longer able to immediately ground themselves as ‘ jumping off “ that two-inch-book of information as their intuition.  Yes, it is like the children, before this happens to them, circumnavigate the zombies, as the adults of mis-information that is not all bad,  because in essence they do not yet have the words to define and describe this. In other words, they are not being heard- and many are already on the journey of this separation. IN this age of information, this, I assume, will only exacerbate. Do we notice that our children are having a loss of mastering the most simple of things? Are we as parents wanting a system to solve this problem- which means we are the consequence to this same scenario? Who, may I ask, can fix this? Especially if the adults are the products of this? lol, no one can, and the cost of hiring another person to do this, in an effective way, would be very very pricey. Therefor, only you can, only the parent themselves. Only the self can sort this out. It is impossible for someone else to do this. Yet, the first step is admitting to this.

Even I, in every moment, have to slow down and breath, check my own ‘ intuition’ and realize it is not this reality, it is the marker of my own accepted and allowed information learned without understanding how this all works.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Behaviors of separation are visible if we take the responsibility to look and do the math Day 719

Yesterday, I walk talking with a man when I noticed how a conversation can bounce, like  a ball moving back and forth in and as knowledge and information. Not all the ‘ knowledge’ is necessarily ‘ bad’ yet it being knowledge and information of and as itself, it is separated from using , or being focused in a real relationship to what exists in form as our system. Meaning, really looking and seeing what is said again and again, to follow the money. 

Money has become a current that is revelatory of what we place value on, and where we then direct our labor, our efforts, our creative force, in the mis-order that is survival based instead of creative based. This order of survival, that chooses to tout knowledge and information - this in itself a dogma of limited insight into the physical reality of what it means to be the potential of self as life. 

This process is one of separation instead of living the potential to assess and relate directly to what actually physically exists around us. How much do we reflect on the present system and what we are, meaning our basic needs? Can we ask ourselves before we go to watch some entertainment on the tele-vision why we are choosing this? Do we do this because we are bored? Do we do this because the current of money flow, which we accept and allow, limits access to materials to possibly follow through with an idea, or a desire to investigate how something works to improve something and eliminate economic stress in our lives, or just because we have a moment where a natural desire to understand something comes up, then when we think about the cost to possibly investigate, we draw back into limitations and instead choose what is cheap, as our entertainment system?

What I noticed in my conversation with this person that I started this blog with, was not only how the space appeared to funnel into a narrow focus, but also an absence of the ease that comes with not getting ‘ intense’ , like creating a projected vortex of ‘ vision’ in relation to the information being expressed that was not all ‘ bad.’  I stopped, I looked at myself, because I have been getting angry as of late, in sorting something out, and I allowed myself to let that go, a habit, one of frustration. I decided to accept where I was and what was happening, to process this as it could not define me unless I accepted it. I listened and used my own experiences to attend to the moment. I looked at the space like a piece of music, like a math, of different forms, and realized that it need not define who and what I am, that I am, just as when I performed with a group, processing measure, form, quality, duration, etc etc. It was in this moment that I sensed the focus of the person and at the same time listened to them. I also looked at myself, and that anger suddenly seemed useless. Ironically, later that day, I read a post by Osho, where he states that one need never apologize unless one has become mad. And then, another post where mad was defined as multiple addictions disorders. lol, it was much like this, those dis-orders of anger a projected ideological polarized chain of past events that I have allowed to define who and what I am, my own puppet strings that can suddenly appear before me, when I slow down enough to realize I am in deed projecting knowledge and information to substantiate a limited in-formed entity that is in itself lacking a respect of what is here. Another way to say this is that I have rejected my right to life. 

I realize within this, that I can develop a processing ability, that is a natural ability, in relation to information. And this being a project ( -ed set body) of information as knowledge and information. And then realize its form and measure, its math with or without cross reference and focus onto what actually exists having done and understanding that development into real investigate work is ongoing and within using follow how money flows as a reference point for a moment. It is to say, in so many ways, the current of money shows what is supported, and the banks of this river showing the debris by what is a consequence not shared in the paper castles of this present system. One must actually look at the details of one’s life and what suppresses a natural ability and desire to understand and investigate how things work. 

Making the choice to watch tele-vision, as it now stands, is making the choice to suppress potential and override this potential with a busy-ness of distraction to placate. This appearing to cost little monetarily yet at the expense of one’s real potential and by extension the potential of everything around one.

In having slowed down and walked this process of realizing my own projections, imaginations, reactions, suppression, thoughts, back chats, entities of self definition in a game of survival, I can begin, to see, realize and understand how when another person speaks with me, that they are expressing knowledge and information lacking a real connection to what is here, and a consequence of a lack of this kind of practice overall in human existence. It is like a math, it is like a piece of music, all the parts moving around, some in tune, as some stable and focused and clear, and others coming and going having no real substantial consideration of creation as this physical reality all around us- this that we can reference in every moment if we let go of being mad, as all those chains of ideas and beliefs and opinions that we believe define who and what we are, when that is the ghost in the machine that is a limitation and as an acceptance and allowance of suppression of a natural potential to investigate and understand what is here, even behind this curtain of mathematical manipulations employed by a system that flows money to a few, just as we flow our focus on a limited entity of belief to define us, to allow us to survive, a cheap and destructive and violent suppression of the right to life given as what we are the day we were born. 

I walk away from this event yesterday realizing that getting mad is a distraction, and that I have the capacity to begin to process both separation and the measure of the physical.  Also, that what is free or cheap is not free. Someone somewhere has not received a living wage.  That what is simple, as myself expressing the real potential of myself, is not financially supported, and most probably not as much, economically, as I may think. Right outside my door, is so much. And, there are things that are not costly, that can benefit me. 

Most of what costs is allowing a metered payment, a little bit at a time, over a long period of time, supporting the present system that touts support and yet suppresses potential, a mirror of what we are allowing within ourselves. We allowed this, this has accumulated into a system, this is the consequence of our state of being. The way out, is to see this, to understand this, to realize the need for change, to realize the means of change. That river of money can flow to support the infrastructure of physical reality. The innovations are here, and the ability to sense that desire to discover is here. The paper castle is an illusion, it can only have the power we allow it to have. It is up to us to get the rivers that are drying up, going again and it starts with us, each of us.

This means using one’s will to focus here. This means slowing down and seeing the movements of imagination within one’s self and seeing this as the past, as not who one really is. This means realizing that we absorb what we are exposed to, and that this need not define us, yet can influence us, if we do not take the time to process this, it accumulated and causes cognitive dissonance with seeing the music of here, as this consequence of separation from what is real. It really is not a rocket science, and as all things, it appears to be hard, as change tends to be and do when moving from a set body of measures that have become habituated, into something new. Yet, this is a process of cleaning up mis-takes on life, on living and instead accepting life. One will make mis-takes, as is natural, as what the process of self discovery is and does. Yet to be focused here, in the abundance of reality as the physical, removes the separation dis-orders and by extension the processing dis-orders. Within this, conversations that are a ball of information bouncing back and forth, existing within an alternate reality, meaning  lack of respect for what is here in equality and oneness, will no longer reign and instead our rivers will flow once again with pure water, that is the currency of life.. It is, after all, natural to hear the music of the physical.  Look how naturally we absorb the limited information on the television? 

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

We are the manufacturers of our own separation from life. Where does our health insurance money go? Day 718

Sometimes an article comes up that I find so astounding, I can hardly believe I have accepted this, or rather, not researched it and looked at the numbers. Numbers do not lie.

This article about the payouts from insurance companies for the number of vaccines a doctor gives to children is unacceptable. Yet, it begs the question as to why we are allowing this overall. This means that we support incentives for vaccination with our insurance programs. This means that the companies producing the vaccines are not even paying the doctors, or rather, motivating the doctors to vaccinate children without investigation. We are allowing this when we do not investigate the monetary structures. We allow this when we do not follow the money- a statement that is ubiquitous. So many have said that one must follow the money. One must read, one must use a natural capacity to do the math, and investigate to realize that it is the web of all of us that maintains the present system. 

The idea of a superman is the opposite of what is real, as it is the web of men that build and allow negligent resource extraction, a mis-use of resources that effect all the life that is here on this earth. Again, it is the numbers of men, that build what exists or, as in the case of this article, hold in place, based on ideas and beliefs and opinions that have no real follow through into the forms and mechanisms of money flow. That money flow is your labor moving into allowing others to make decisions for you. It is the consequence of a lack of investigation, it is  a lack of the self sensing practical reality, what is right here, visible, known and written out in an article.

With a doctor potentially getting 80,000$ for fulfilling a quota of vaccination, paid for with your labor via insurance policies,  would that doctor really want to investigate anything about vaccines? Would you want to give up 80,000$ a year? Would you want to give up the comforts that kind of money would allow? Would you become irritable if someone threatened to take that from you? Would you turn a blind eye to patterns around you?  Just look at the math, a vaccine in itself does not cost 400$. Yet, you are paying this incentive to not look, to not investigate through your insurance policies.  This whole form, as this action, also begs the question as to why such incentives must be used, to buy obedience!

We are programmed to live a false story, a false and limited set body of information. This is why we are held in a school that only teaches through abstraction of information. This is the means for that limited inform of information. It denies one’s natural ability to sense qualities in space and time. This is so visible all around us in our loss of spatial ability. We have, for eons, believed that what we create with our imagination is greater than what is around us. It is as simple as that. The solution is to realize the mis-use of our imaginations and become living words, words that respect this world around us. We can use words to investigate this travesty of life, as this present system, and remove the veil of our separation into this busy work composed of limited values, made huge, and step into what has always been here, right in front of us, this manifestation of creation, a symbiotic and functional creation that reveals itself with the potential of a balance that can flow with ease and grace. This is the real nature of life, and it is always here.

An exanple is using our tongues. We can taste bitter, we can taste sour, we can taste something savory, or tart. These flavors reveal qualities. Something that is sour is usually more acidic. We can then investigate what acids do and how they work. The information is here, as we are in the age of information.  if we place a piece of copper in water and let it sit, we can then drink the water and realize a slight taste of copper. We can rub a piece of garlic on the soles of out feet and sense a taste of garlic on our tongues.  This is natural, and yet it has somehow become novel! How did that happen? Obviously, it happened because we allowed something else to overshadow these innate sensibilities. 

As yourself why the media is so ubiquitous? Ask yourself why there are systemic forms that pay doctors incentives to not LOOK HERE? Your capacity to live is go great, that to deny that capacity a film of information that is not the real story must be constantly imposed, and with systemic layers that are not fully disclosed yet must exist somewhere because it can then be construed that we accepted it. In effect, we did, because we dod not investigate. 

Life, by nature, is forgiving, it need only be accepted. This is one’s self. Either that self continues within a false use of the imagination or makes the choice to stand with steadfastness to redefine one’s presence back into all things, which includes the physical world.  How does one cause chaos? Through creating a belief in another world, with a god, to separate one from the real ‘ god’ which is this creation, this physical reality, this means to understand life, to sense it, to taste the nature of it and how it works in balance, in ways that do no harm and consider all things, taking that which is good. 

If these incentives for vaccinating children were removed, ( and our health insurance payments lowered- thereby freeing up our individual economies to have a greater ability to choose!) what would happen with the whole vaccine debate? Would greater numbers of doctors stand in understanding what is happening or not happening? Do we have the courage to ask doctors about these payments? Do we have the courage to face the storm of what is emotional resistance, that we all know very well, which is a persona of irritation and anger and name calling and blame? Can we realize in a moment, were we to ask questions directly in a doctor’s office that reactive behaviors towards such questions are a form of protection and defense in self interest? Can we stand without reaction ourselves and realize that what we face is a construct of misinformation cluttered with a limited set body of information causing a dissonance from practical reality? Can we step beyond our fears of being defined as being ‘ difficult’ and remain with making a statement that we need to investigate what is offered by this system without taking threats and name calling personally? It really only takes one time to not give in, after that it gets easier. We can do this, we can stand. Together. This is the real power, the web of men making the choice to relate words to real life, this life around us, and no longer accepting a limited story that has an outcome of separating us from life, from reality - so visible in a loss of a natural spatial ability, and an ability to taste the sweet and the sour, the bitter and the savory. Why not forgive the chaos of limitation and become what is natural?

Sunday, September 4, 2016

The markers of my own separation from potential Day 717

I understood through the years that using sympathy to make someone believe that they were just like one’s self, is a means of control, where a person gives all only to find that is taken and used in self interest, in survival against the one accepting a belief that one is the same as the other.

The problem with such activity, is that it diminishes the creativity of the person doing the preying, through this form of collective praying towards an entity as a belief that two are the same. It gives one hope and a false sense of security. Especially when one is vulnerable. Like after the death of someone one has been very very close to.

Such a person cannot be trusted. Yet, this is hard to see in that vulnerable state of loss. The natural desire of the absorbent ability of a human, is to move towards a connection. And within this, become blind to consequence and subtlety.  It is like a worm that creeps up in the night. One does not see it until the storm of it built has passed.

Usually, an inflexibility is visible. 

I have lived in a country where the language was not my mother tongue. It was interesting to watch fellow Americans learn the language, There were some who learned the language with such flexibility that when they spoke the foreign language, one could hear little to no accent. There were those who never lost a heavy accent of their mother tongue. It baffled me that this could happen.  The programming of the initial language and its characteristics, were never let go, or too embedded to change. I wonder if this in itself is somewhat of a red flag. Are other paths and means of behavior the same. Are there some things that are so embedded that change is extremely unlikely, and this in tandem with an ability to convince another that they are the same as the one doing the convincing?

This would be like trying to tell someone that they are not in love, even when that person believes it with all of themselves. It would be like talking to a wall.

What if that same person who preyed had no plan, while  breaking down what existed that was a time tested form, and that revealed the degree of an inability to change, as the required steps within that well known form, meant that one had to deconstruct and reconstruct, like changing one’s ability to process information, something that always leads to an inner  tiredness as the body must reform within- another thing that makes change appear overwhelming. One can work oneself too hard, and end up exhausted, and yet, the children that are to come are well worth this. And to realize that changing one’s self, like growing a new business, is known to take about ten years, that  it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill and/or twenty-one days to change a habit. It is after all, a math, and we all learn the same way.

Just as in learning new words, one must hold the form within one’s self and begin to generate that word, making mistakes and fine tuning along the way. So, does this on a grander scale, as in forming a business, starting on the ground. Some call this 1 + 1.

We tend to look for quick fixes, and these can end up slowing down the process, because one must return to the practical, on the ground process of walking.  I can remember the times I wanted to skim through something and ended up paying the price, because I had to then go back and walk the necessary steps. Steps that ended up, through time, becoming a friend, because they withstood the test of time. They are recognizable, because they are clear and have a quality of holding no promise. One is living and being present here.

If one is busy preying, through praying a false positive, then one loses one’s creative ability, one’s ability to change. One cannot see and develop the means of real action because one is busy preying instead of deconstructing and reconstructing in practical time tested measures. The two cannot and will not mix, as one is a running train and the other is taking care of the practical.

Such actions cannot be trusted. And they will in time steal all effects. The one who accepted the belief of sameness, will be left out with nothing. What would you do, stand against the cry of a belief in ‘ love’ or stay with what structurally makes sense and has proven itself through time and space? Would I reject the idol of belief- losing a connection, and in time take back the prodigal son who realized there was really only one way forward that lead to a greater sense of what is eternal having walked what is proven and  practical? Because on some level, I understood that there is only one choice in the end, and that we all learn the same way and that one must walk the most basic of steps, through all manner of tiredness and seeming rejection until one could stand?  And one doing this so well there was little to no accent of a past?

There is a moment that stands out for me. It is a past moment, where I was talking with someone. We were interrupted,  a sudden interruption, such a classic action that I know. The moment was lost. I could sense this, and yet I did not move back into this, I accepted a polite morality instead, this within a self imposed belief that I  was not enough.  And yet, somehow, it is never too late, as the practical is always right here, and the common sense of it is all around us.  It is like being sorry for something that was not done in a moment where I perceived potential yet let that go because of ideas, beliefs and opinions, my own overwhelming accent of a past that in itself was and is the behavior of having  preyed by day and stole by night.  In this, I separated from an innate ability to create.