Monday, November 25, 2013

Day 471 A knot in my chest. Not being directive, here.

I have had a knot in my chest, and I have been trying to find a way to work through this. I find I am trying to see how to move myself here without reacting, and I reacted to a couple of things recently in terms of dealing with people. I responded to their minds, instead of directing in simplicity, looking at form and function of the physical world, and how the limitation of the minds causes all manner of emotional storms.
One time I had someone show me how to play something on the violin. And she said, to move with the thing being played gently, at ease, meaning without force. Since that day, I know better to practice in a rushing manner, or with a vision of gain, and instead to move gently, even playing this way, and then adding percussive elements - for example - once the form is understood/felt/integrated. One can learn things much faster this way, it takes a kind of focus that is agreeing to what is being learned without reaction.
It is very gentle - so to speak.
So, I took this and I looked at how I reacted to others. I had given myself a direction with this other person, to lessen their reactions that were creating a lack of self responsibility. When I suddenly, un-expectenutly encountered them, they reacted and I reacted to their reaction, taking it as an affront to myself, which was myself lost in ego, determining myself according to some self possessed entity as idea.
This allowing of myself as an idea so vaporous, and without any movement of self forgiveness.
Not to say what I had decided to say would not have brought the same reaction, but within myself it was a simple directive, one that I used when I was overwhelmed as a single mom.
I was busy in schools, both teaching and going to school, and taking care of my children. I had organized my time; I did not do my school work until 10 at night, and then I allotted two hours to this, every night, which worked out fine because I knew there would be little to no interruption,and I could get a lot done in allotting focus without the possibility of interruption. I also found that I did not get my garbage to the dump. So, one day I drove to the dump and noted the time it took. So, whenever I felt overwhelmed I would tell myself that it took so many minutes to get this done. This lessened the HUGE effort I had turned getting my garbage to the dump, as idea, into. I remember I had to do a lot of this kind of thing at that time in my life, and perhaps this is why I ended up being a destonian because in the process I realized how often I made an emotional mountain out of a molehill task.
This morning I realized this, as I buried myself in an emotional storm, to simply look here and realize how physical reality works, and that I complicate physical reality with the mind.
Realizing this, the knot in my chest moved some, lessened it grip, so to speak, with this very gentle forgiving movement, so tiny. Which begs the question within this process, do I expect huge sudden change, or is the act of being self forgiving  a slight movement that is powerful because it is the simple act of being forgiving with self?
Even here, I notice that righteousness coming up, like a sudden “ problem solved’ scenario and a sense of hopelessness. like this is too small to make a difference. Ironic, in the end it is being forgiving, here, each of us, that will build a heaven on earth. I mean being this simple movement - as I understand it on a very small scale as what it took as a tiny movement to lesson a tension, a pressure, a tiny knot in my chest, is what as a collective  - a cool elective - can stand as where each part would become as brilliant as the whole such would create, so much so that the aggrandizement of self in a bubble based on limited values cannot even begin to compete.

Desteni I Process Lite Free

What are your emotions and feelings doing to YOU!

Friday, November 22, 2013

Day 470 Wholeness Enhances Individual Parts

I watched a documentary on cancer. I have known that cures have been suppressed in the name of profit before life for some time. Still, every time I am confronted with this, I become righteous, which will not solve the problem, as in becoming equal to an understanding as to how and why this is allowed to exist, within and without. Looking at what within each of us allows this suppression of solution, this being what removes suffering and allows ease,  must be what is lived as me, in every moment, until this is constant.

I also realize that this suppression of solution, as finding a cure to cancer, flies in the face of all the other developments of men, as so much has been developed to see the small, so, within this, as this documentary points out, there is no reason that a cure for cancer has not been found. So, the media propaganda that “ there is no proof” is more suppression on top of suppression, and all in the self interest of creating a form that moves more to others in the form of money, thus the form of usury is the directive again and again and again, spiting life in a desire to control to have more. 

I mean, this is the same reason natural resources on federal lands are leased out to private companies, where royalties are small in comparison to sales. Always, each form moves the value, as the principle to a few, without any regard or respect for the process of creating values from what is freely given by this earth. Our regulatory systems would rather see a person suffer than provide a solution. And the blame as the nature of obedience is placed outside of self, this self being a part that is what creates the whole structure as our present system, thus we are all to blame.

Since the media is the voice of those that have assembled in abusive ways the money that moves values created from resources by the many and of what is freely given into a separate controllable and collectible object as value placed on a piece of paper, the space of air time is bought and limited aspects are presented to ensure and maintain this pyramid of inequality and it resounds using repetition, which means we humans can be programmed, which means this is known, which means this is being abused. Yet, on the side, if we could process information more readily and within this see patterns, conceptually we would see this abuse. All of which begs many questions about our present education system. Given the state of the world, our education system follows the same law of profit, because the suppression of realizing the whole and the parts is how inequality can be maintained, and obviously, this is a consuming effort - this suppressing - I mean, would we have the present drama of politics if this were not true?

SO, the problem is that we have suppressed what is natural, our common sense, our depth perception, our ability to see and understand form and function, and it is buried under the polarity of good and bad, a consequence of judgement within a self interest as a belief only of a more than instead of what physically works as form and function, the gift as a point of stability, to use ourselves as common sense of physical manifestation of life, where we can see with clarity, right in front of us, what is a movement that causes no harm and is supportive of life, as this is the value.

The law of profit must be aligned to what supports the physical world realizing that the absolute value is life, period, readily visible as a movement that causes absolutely no harm to plant, animal, human, water, air, soil, etc. 

Our education system must become what allows a child to interact with physical existence, as obviously, memorization in a classroom is, as a form, indoctrination - not that it is all bad.  If a human child has hands on direct experience with physical reality, then that child learns about how the physical world works, which is not what a system of inequality would want. So, again, what is here is not what is best for all on many levels and because of the harm this present system of inequality is creating on earth, it is time to change this system, to one that become the law of life being the value.

The rewards of this are a clean earth, a functioning earth, on every inch, on every part. This would create an earth where one could walk freely, at ease, healthy, developing understanding of the physical world. Such a world would enhance the individual parts creating a whole that is the real” more beautiful”, where each part would become its full potential. It is to realize that this is the only way to each individual point’s full potential. I mean, and I have said this before, would this not be the most fun thing any of us have ever done?   Just forgive all the judgement of good and bad, all the incessant comparison, just stop, come here, be here, connect here, build a structure that supports all the life on earth absolutely, to that we can stand together, as this is the only only only way to become the strength of yourself as life because it is the parts that create the structure that enhances the life of the whole, and thus the parts. Support  a Living Income Guarantee as this is realigning money to give each part the strength it needs to build the extraordinary which is life on earth.

Day 469 The EXIT ment of fantasy.

I have been awake for a couple of hours, and I begin to notice that there are moments where I go into a fantasy composed of past events coupled with ideas as what would create a norm, as the values within our present system, because these are the stories I accepted that I build on as my soul/sole construct, as the social construct in which I spent my first seven years of life, one that has been built and touted for generations, this our present media ensures/maintains in the self interest of the product behind the presentation, because this is impulsing behaviors through belief, opinion and idea, with pictures and music and words. A tapestry of tools building an inner world, a collection of dimensions brought forward and played with to construct a following. And yet, this that is built is not equal in understanding to this physical earth, had it been, then there would not be starvation, deforestation, desertification, cancer, disease, animal abuse, substance abuse within and without. This meaning, the pollution of water and air, pollution of the human, plant an animal inner worlds: were we within, equal to the physical, in respect, there would be no abuse on earth. So what man has created, as the present system, is in separation from reality, from the physical, and thus, is in a lesser order of the use of the physical world.The consequence of this is a separation from an awareness, a connection to life, and as this a loss of depth perception that is a loss of connection, a loss of flexibility, changeability, a lightness of being that when suggested as such cannot be readily grasped as a movement, so accustomed have we become to the chaos and weight of friction and conflict, of stress. As such we have externalized that which is of no judgement and uses music and words and pictures to generate emotions and feelings into some order that is a very limited order, and yet, we see these tools created by machines generating these emotions, to which we all react and even call a “ Hallmark” moment. Within this we can directly see how our emotions and feelings are of no real substance, because they can be created with sound and color by a machine. And yet they are real? Can that emotion generated by a machine, feed the animals, or us? No. They really have no meaning, none. And, yet, this is what we are allowing to be impulsed within us?

I notice as I allow myself to go into imagination, that I am no longer present here. And within this that I miss here, I fragment myself from here, I allow myself to lie within fantasy based on limited dimension: my data as mind, as memory, is limited. And since I know there is electrical currents within my physical body, somehow, these pictures, as these memories, are held in place, my own personal halo in accord with the beliefs, opinions and ideas, that serve a system of self interest. So, this all started with me, as I accepted this and allowed this, and within this, as I look at the world and my own relationships, the disconnect can only be because I am not equal to what is real, as the physical. The confusion, as the lack of communication between people, is that these electric halos are not in sinc with one another, and each believes their halo is what is real, is what will enable their success - either through compliance or what to reject, both acts of separation because the halo is taken to be more than physical reality on which it is built.

If I slow down and look I will inevitably see that my mind as memory is my separation, and is a separation that is a collection of pictures that are based on ideas, beliefs, and opinions of a good hiding a bad, the bad being the judgement and the good being the justification for the judgement, a fragment of the initial separation as in wanting some idea to be more than being here, equal to physical reality.

And then, it is like a sadness as in not wanting to give this up, because it has been used - and taught- as how I survive. But this sadness is really like a deconstruction only, like letting go of a friend, but realizing this is not really a friend, it is only a comfort that in the end is not a real comfort as it is a comfort that allowed oneself to match a rhythm of a small group within a bubble, that in itself is a separation from physical reality. Is there a point within an addiction that letting go of the addiction is only difficult because the change requires an effort to rebuild and the grooves of self have built something that maybe worked in one immediate moment but have proven to not work within the test of time?

To slow down to such an extent, using breath, to see how often I cling to the past to use to build an idyllic future in the halo-graphic mind of memory using limited values is the separation from myself as life, equality to here as the physical world. Our pictures tell us what we are doing on so many levels, and because we are not here, we misread them, projecting our halo values onto them, our soul constructs, our sold selves to a secondary as an interpretation of reality as a judgement of one thing being more than another of which our media decides for us, this done by others who profit in their own self interest, identical in total separation but built of minutely changed measure of value and opportunity with a little more discipline. And this,  instead of seeing our equality, and enjoying the different manifestations of this orchestra of life as the physical. I accepted the supposed goods being sold, and these goods were in the house of my upbringing, so I used them to build my own separation, continuing a collective separation that now has a consequential outflow of abusing what is real, as the physical world, deciding that the within was more than the without of which the two are equal or life would not exist. And, the outcome of this is that life will not exist which if we take the time to look, we will see happening all over this planet, this physical universe.

This means I have to stop and realize my own separations, readable as energetic movements within myself, coming up as emotions and feelings from my solar plexus, the collection of my own thoughts and the generations before me that were of the same separation, and my thoughts that are where I make one thing a good and another a bad, this thought voice a judgement direct and indirect, projecting blame instead of being responsible here in common sense, this being the use of myself as life, as this that built the halo, all of which is my own compilation of my own accepted separation from myself as life, here.

So, I slow down to realize every movement within myself, to realize the story of my separation, and to forgive this back to common sense so that I am here, equal and one with and as the physical world, as this is me and I am it because all of it is life, not just parts. I walk through the self corrective scripts I have written to ground myself here, back to common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the weight of protection and defense as in not looking here, as in taking a value, a fraction of existence, as a color, an idea about something and using this as a support, creating an idol, that creates a friction within and as me that I use to hold myself up, with such effort that the burden of this weighs me down and the outward manifestation of this, takes the very substance of me as life away until I begin to so subtly  shake, this eventually diminishing my human physical body, my gift of life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that all the times I became emotional in protection and self defense, that I was defending a lesser god as an idea, belief and/or opinion, and as this I was pushing away my own equality as life, my own solution right in front of me as the gift of life is here, as that which sustains me which I have rejected in favor of choosing a limitation because I feared what was really easier had I accepted and allowed it to simply be.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize this movement to define myself as an idea, opinion and belief as myself losing sight of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the anger, as reaction, as resistance, as a damning of myself as life, self created, self sustained, has become a habit that only I can forgive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that change is impossible, when in fact this that I have allowed is no different to a child throwing a tantrum, it can be stopped from one moment to the next, it is that easy, but when in the storm, self created, self blinding, that thin veil is only made big because it is all that I accept and look at.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this inner accepted and allowed friction and conflict has no real substance, because it is not equal and one to life, and as this not equal and one to life as solution, as life is always forgiving as what one would like to receive, which is life, absolutely.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the joy of life is in giving absolutely.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Day 468 Solicitation, TPP and Protest Laws. As Within So Without.

Someone said to me the other day , “ I don’t want to be solicited.” I stopped, this was a new response that I had not encountered. I looked at the man and said, “ how does one person speak with another, reach out? A person has to address people and through speaking bring what is new to them, for them to hear, it is how it is done, in all simplicity.” The man was not reactive, he did not bully, he simply looked at me with calm.
 But there, within me was a movement, initially, not, as I responded immediately, in calm, but as I spoke I noticed a tension, which was a fear, a reaction. As I spoke,  the common sense of what was physically happening as in a moment of communication with another I realized that the fear, as the inner uncertainty that was a warning based on some idea had no relevance in the moment. If anything, this fear was a pulling back within myself that protected and defended my action based on a belief that I could be labeled and judged and that this would remain with me, when such could not because I can only be here, in this moment. 
There is also a fear of standing as a directive structure, to stand through being a feminine person acquiescent as a belief within an accepted societal norm that really has no substantial responsibility within being here. If anything, one can only connect with that which allows self as life to move/flow/hear with ease and within this to remain steady as this. 
This is moving equal to common sense, to life, as is our natural ability as life as what we are, as self in absolute purpose within being aware of here, as what is best for all. Which in essence means communicating with one another, and realizing that we are only as good as the parts, as all of existence, around us. There is no other choice, and this is not an impossible choice, it is actually the easiest thing to be and do, if we only accept and allow this to be. The irony is that we, through believing that there is more than here, as idea as mind,  are existing in separation as judgement and not seeing what is here as what it is absolutely and the behavior of this is our state of confusion that appears complicated when it is not.
Our emotions and feelings that are the accumulation of thoughts that are a judgement based on an idea of one thing being more than another - which is what a survival game would be, where money has been allowed to determine life, -builds our characters, our cares, and becomes the program driving our wants, needs and desires, all of which in essence serves a machine of division/complication/suppression. The data going in serves the structure of judgement of having measured physical reality as being unequal, forcing hierarchy, a false god built on what is real beneath it, the real sustenance. All the while the gift of life is physical creation, giving equal measure of life to all as the very substance of what is the physical to allow equal understanding.
Interesting that, as I understand, the new TPP,  or Trans Pacific Partnership, is proposing keeping data secret, which is to say keeping justification “ secret”, and also, writing laws that punish protest. So, what is happening  within this structure of inequality is what we are doing within: our manifested expressed emotions that are the programs of accumulated judgement that we have accepted and allowed: beliefs that one thing is more than another: Our emotions and feelings hiding the thoughts that are the accumulation of a data  collection of values in self interest. These things that are supposedly more than values  really are of a limited selection of values and obeying them has taken from us our ability to stand in common sense, equal to life which we can see manifest in the cumulative acts based on our accepted/selected inner program/judgements/data as the amount of destruction happening to earth. 
And now we are proposing to not even be  allowed to protest our own demise, self created at that.  And so we live our own stagnation. We are slowly but surely leading ourself to our own stopping point, our own end. We are moving back, physically, to nothing because we refused to stand equal to life, which is the absolute purpose of common sense to be aware of here, and to do no harm, which is how one can equalize oneself to life, to the physical, and it would be  really fun thing to do, but instead we chase a separate program as the mind of limited values causing all manner of conflict because these values are based on ideas of good and bad and not what is the gift of structure to realize self as life as the physical world. It is right here in front of us, and yet we refuse to see that the physical world is the gift of life.
The physical is the  training wheels to equalize self to life. All those little atoms that compose a structure of life, so we can really “ play” and express ourselves as life.
And so much so, are we in self abdication that we manifest a law that disallows and punishes protest - in this case, the destructive pipeline that profits only a few at the expense of plants, animals, humans and water, and air on which we depend to be. 
Just as the law of profit takes everything, all consequence from not having considered all outflows, and turning the damage into a new profit making venture so can we as a collective take our mistakes and turn them into a good, as what is best for all. In the law is the answer: To no longer protest, and instead to stand as what is best for all, as in standing and placing/supporting a structure - in this case one that builds sustainable practices bypassing/redirecting the effort as our own impetus to protest, eliminating it as in  building something new with that movement through redirection within a sustaining principle.
We can, from within,  slow ourselves down and use our common sense and realize our thoughts of judgement have accumulated creating emotions and feelings that when looked at have no real value and can thus be self forgiven to bring ourselves here, to what is real, realizing that our past does not define us unless we accept and allow it. For this one can also walk the tools of self forgiveness writing and corrective application offered in a free course called DIPLite. It is a process to equalize self to life, as it was a process to build that concrete GPS system that was based on limited values that obeyed a god of profit in self interest which was a starting point of separation from self as life, but that which took that step is what is self as life, and it is there and can be redirected by self as self as life, here. The shift from following to self directing may seem impossible but it is not, and it will take practice but it can be done.
This is a process of walking the ordinary, a structure of order, that creates a supportive extra-ordinary earth that can become what realizes that the exception is the norm. Living Income Guarantee will accelerate this process because it will remove many of the behaviors of survival because money has been allowed to determine life  as what is here is what enables us to become equal to life. This is the gift of the physical world. It is your birthday present. 

Monday, November 18, 2013

Day 467 Watching the reactions only.

I find I lose my breath when I speak with others, and within myself I expect reactions, and then I get caught up in complicating my conversation in attempting to “ simplify” it according to my perception of the reactions of others. Then I lose what I am saying that is really very simple.

I am so busy watching the reactions ONLY that I miss the underlying need for the reactions, and since the reactions, as emotional storms are secondary to a starting point of being, then that which is constant as what is best for all, as that which gives structure that allows self direction that brings ease, this ease within itself something that moves quietly and gently, as it has no need, its movement clear, not fearing a loss, or an immediacy of gain, as the value is being here, as life, this point where life exists, because life can only hear/be here, which is why there are so many distractions around us, to take us from the most stable point, which is being physically here - and because of this on another front, why sex is turned into sex instead of physical intimacy, because in turning sex into an idea, one is in separation from enjoying physical presence here.  It is a “ hide what is real right in front of you” game. 

I mean, media is constant suggestion that this or that will solve…. solve what? Why is something needing to be “ solved” in the first place? What if we were the solution of life, meaning the very substance of life, meaning being equal to life, instead of an idea as needing to find solutions, as in problem solving?  I mean the “ assets of earth, as the resources being treated as what is here to support us as we are this, can only be given to each in order for each to exist equal to what supports physical well being. What we have allowed is a hierarchy ordering this world to allow a few to have more than others, and this “ more” is not a “ more” it is a separation from reality. It is a beseeching act hiding fear of loss based on idea. Meaning, be see king, meaning I am not equal to life being the value because there is always something greater outside of me- or so I believe.. Life cannot exist without that which is the substance of the physical. As this, we each have great power, in simply being, which just takes respecting the physical world.

There is no reason why neighbor is not enjoying neighbor. There is no reason for this earth to not be a botanical garden, where there is joy in interacting and communicating with everything that is here.

I heard a story one time about a man who in childhood, moved from a lower financial position to one of more financial success and in so doing, moved from a more densely populated environment to a more suburban environment. In the more affluent environment, the neighbors interacted less, remained closed off. What was lost was the open. sharing communication between fellow men. The point here is the loss of communication between neighbors. The physical environment has nothing to do with this, because in a more suburban environment, space for communication readily exists, so what ended communication was the focus on climbing the ladder, which meant not being responsible for how the present system of inequality functions, knowing one was playing a game that was not supportive of life, of the physical world, and that what one was in effect doing was acting in self interest, thus the need to hide in shame.

And then the game of comparison sets in. Comparison based on an idea of what will win the game. But if we look at nature, if we look at a tree, or we look as the musculature of an animal, we can see the same shapes, the same folds, the same curves, and they vary slightly only, but it is all a form of life enabling expression and all of it is the value, all of it is a part of us, as us, equal, and that it is the communication with this that is the enjoyment. I mean, we can only be in one place at a time. And we all love to hear stories, so what if the story is told by the physical, actually living the experience? What if the god we seek, at whose feet we believe as an idea, we are going to sit at when we die, is really the physical world rights here, telling the story of heaven, of simply being? What if we are missing this and it is right here in front of us? I mean, we are here in the living story of life, we are given the physical to “ live” the story, we are it, as the physical, so it is time to be here, live here, communicate here, respecting all the forms and expressions as the forms of the physical here, which means taking care of it and enjoying it.

Support a Living Income Guarantee. Participate in LIFE, it is right here, it is your feet, it is the ground on which you walk, it is your neighbor, it is the animals, it is the ground, it is the sky, it is everything. The hierarchy placed, as the present accepted and allowed system is the separation on a physical world that by design allowed communication it is only ourselves as mind consciousness systems of limited belief that separates us from ourselves as life.

Walk the DIP Lite course, begin the journey to life, bring yourself back to the physical, remove the emotional storm bubble of limited ideas through self forgiveness, writing and corrective application. Ground yourself, here.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Day 466 Self Forgiveness on Reaction to " I'm too busy."

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my inner world as mind, as the conscious, the subconscious and the unconscious to be greater than the physical world without.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from here, into and as ideas of blame and spite, as thoughts of “ if another person tells me they are too busy” or “ I have too many problems in my life at this moment”  I am going to “ bite their head off - so to speak as a reaction within myself as a thought, as I said.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be this reaction in righteousness, as pushing away the reactive “ I don’ t want to look, and my inner world as my emotions, thoughts and feelings justifying my state of being that in total is in separation from common sense of the physical as a whole and what has been accepted and allowed, as an inner world being more than life, an idea of self being more than life, this in itself a judgement of being more and thus an action that is not in equality to what is real, as the physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into protection and self defense within this, as righteousness, which is an action of a fear of loss, based on an inner idea of myself as a survival mechanism that is in separation from common sense of the physical world right here, of being equal to and as what is real, as the physical and within this to realize that the only solution is equality to physical reality, where all life is valued and taken care of within and as what does no harm, realizing that I am equal to all life, and that this physical is what allows me as life to exist.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry towards self limitation, which is myself becoming as the other, standing within arguing my own limitations.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to win something, as in existing within a limited framework as having a goal of wanting a successful outcome, instead of realizing that the only solution is to walk existing consequences into the solution of what is best for all, which is becoming aware of what has been accepted and allowed within allowing an inner world, as character and personality  built of belief, opinion and idea, being more than the outer world on which this inner state of being cannot exist without, which is the physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand my past where I encountered self interest before life, and allowed myself to become reactive and spiteful instead of standing within the principle of what is best for all, and letting go of justification within and without, and within this to realize that self interest without common sense is not all that exists as there are those who are responsible, thus for me to hold onto instances where others abdicated their self responsibility and touted ideologies through projecting blame directly or indirectly onto objects as “ work”, being “ busy”,  being in a “ difficult situation” or using some dimension of belief as in “ I am not responsible for your son” moving and shifting dimension to justify their actions, as reacting to such within myself is the same action as I push blame onto the action as the self justification instead of realizing the movement within “ free will” dimensional use of reality to validate actions of self all of which is in total the state of each human within a conscious, subconscious and unconscious construct as an inner state of being that is a blueprint of limited values based on ideas, opinions and beliefs that are not self in consideration, of the whole, as the physical world, thus not self in equality to here, to the physical, to that which is the source that creates a memory of limited belief, constructed in the first seven years, as the starting point of self was taught to follow limited parts as ideas made huge instead of learning to move equal and one with common sense and realizing that the mind accumulated experiences within a system already divided from common sense, and thus a lack of common sense was what was taught, and the solution is to realign self into common sense as physical existence.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be reactive within this, as I have been doing this for so long it is automated, and thus I allow myself to get caught up within this, and separate myself from my own common sense. as this is where solutions are found to the physical consequences that all must walk using the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that i must rush this, that i am not doing enough, and that allowing myself to exist as this, is a separation and thus it is to slow down and to breath, and to place myself here within practical existence.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to turn this into a burden, and then allow myself to become anxious within this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want immediate gains, not seeing realizing and understanding that allowing immediacy is moving into limited associations and thus myself in separation from here, and so I slow myself down and I breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see and forgive my past in the emotional reactive storm I accept and allow as reaction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that based on my past, I fear losing something as another touts their emotions as being bigger than life, than common sense, as the emotions are made more valid than common sense, and within this that i will have to sit and listen to such emotions, and patiently wait until the person had touted them, where i felt that i had no say for or against them, they were stated as fact and moving against them caused more problems as a child than it was worth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have done the same, touted my beliefs, opinions and ideas, to self validate, in separation from common sense with and as the physical world as what I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become anxious when someone begins to tout their emotions, as happened with another woman, where I dreaded having to listen, and as this woman was willing to talk, I breathed and slowed myself down,  and became more “ still” within myself and listened, and where I could, I directed within what would direct and still the uncertainty.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  not see realize and understand that I am no longer a child, and can stand here, equalizing the within to the without in common sense of how we work as memory as mind, a construct of the accumulation of experiences which is not necessarily bad, but when not clear and composed of limited insight as limited dimension aggrandizement in self interest, then played within a game of association to justify a state of being within, what is created is a separation from that which such inner state of being is built, and allowing that inner state of being to become bigger than reality causing separation, and the forcing of this inner state of being, this which creates the character of behavior without, is a crime against life because it is limited and thus not equal to that which it is built from, and thus what is lost is the common sense use of self, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that what is needed is to face the storm of separation, and to take back common sense, which is to take back the joy of being life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that game of smoke and mirrors of  values as parts of existence, as dimensions of existence made huge and turned into an inner map are a picture show of limited values in separation from common sense, and thus insubstantial, and thus, walking through this is walking through the valley of the shadow of death, thus this inner map as a storm in a teacup is a valley imposed on the physical that is a valley of shadows composed of beliefs opinions and ideas in separation from physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to just go and hide in quiet to not face this smoke and mirrors show of self pity and justification, that can manifest as bullying when an inner belief is not understood as being accepted as what is real by another. and within this to relate this to the world without as what is happening is that our representatives as out government and agencies are answering to the voice of profit as corporations that follow the law of profit, and because they fear losing their jobs, even when they as parts as some of the people in the bureaucracies realize the abuse to this earth in self interest being allowed cannot stand and disallow this, as what must change, is how money flows through the system, as giving what is needed to “ calm” humans through financial support within being given directly enough money to speak - so to speak- with their money, in support of what is discovered on the ground and locally as a collective, within choosing what is efficient, and sustainable, what works within what causes no harm,  thus those that are in positions where the extreme exists, as in having more money than another, and using this “ more money” to buy the voice of the media, and the choices made by government agencies, are not going to give up their habits as belief that they are justified in having more, as they have built an inner map as memory as experience, as belief of themselves as being job creators, and thus “ more than”s” which is the same we have all accepted and allowed, just a different “ song and dance” as a story yet still in separation from common sense, and thus, the collective must stand and place in a from as a structure that allows each to help themselves and this is giving money to the many hands of men, who are the products of generations of men who have built and with their hands created the values we have ( and the abuses) from freely given resources.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that just as in learning music, where I realized there was vast amounts of space between the notes, so too, is this here, as the substance of life, vast, so much space to move with and as, within and without, that i need not fear the  emotional storm, and this space is within and as myself as common sense as breath here.

I commit myself to slow myself down and to breath, to suspend belief, as in place it in front of me, realizing it is shadow, and to direct within and as what is best for all here, and as such to  use breath to unknot the limitation and bring it back into and as what is best for all, looking at the sequences that create the con, that is the separation from being equal and one to and as the physical here.

I commit myself to, when and as I find myself reacting \ to words of another, to stop and to breath, and to  walk with the physical world in practically standing as what is best for all as the physical.

I commit myself to see that arguing for limitations is arguing through association within a good and a bad, and not directing within what is best for all, as looking here at how the mind is formed and used and the physical reality can function in ways that are best for all, and as this cannot serve the interests of profit before life, as this cannot work and is not working, which we need only look at the news on the internet, a tool to see the world and understand in totality what we have as a collective accepted and allowed, and find ways to change what by design is not supporting and respecting this life in earth, this that we cannot live without.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding how I have taken things personally, and thus in self interest and actually been the creator of my own separation and my own pain, and my own sense of change being impossible, so, I stop and I breath when and as i find myself taking things personally,  in and  as behaviors of wanting to spite another,  or dread having to listen to another.

I commit myself to slowing myself down and breathing, to remaining here, to see realize and understand that I can only walk one point at a time, to see that the smoke and mirrors show is of smoke and mirrors mixing and matching dimension and using association within such to create a picture show in self interest, all of which is a separation from life here, a storm in a teacup that bears no witness to life.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that this pattern of association is causing a disassociation from common sense, and thus is abusing life on earth, thus it is to realize that the only choice is what is best for all here as taking care of the physical world through only doing that which causing no harm absolutely to physical reality.

I commit myself to  directing within and as what directs into a win-win situation as the response being, yes, I want what is best for all, what is best for myself what is best for the children and as such earth.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that scare tactics as the voice of doom and gloom can be corrected into and as what is best for all, as solution, as the realization that I am equal and one to and as life as the physical world here.

Day 465 Reaction to " I"m too busy."

I talked with numerous people the other night, but towards the end one woman looked at me and said “ I have so many problems in my life at the moment, do you have a card” and I stiffened right up. I could feel myself wanting to get angry,  so I just let it go, and remained within the “ script” so to speak. It really was too late, because I was angry within myself.
I realize that the reaction of this person, was not what I expected, She had listened to my presentation and the response she gave me was total rejection of what i had said. Or so I took it.
My anger was the thwarting of my own expectation, be it hero desire, a loss as a reaction of wanting to win, or embarrassment. I realize also, that  there is a family  trait where for another to tell their sob story, it is considered disrespectful, and I could see that within me, I reacted to this. This use of a person coming out with all their problems.
I also had this this week with a member of a group I am in who has not been responsible in her tasks. I finally had to call her a couple of times, the second time she texted back to me that she was busy at work  on Monday and that she was sorry she had not been responsible. I thought, well, what about the previous two days from the last call? So, I am having a hard time with this, reacting to this in others: using problems in their lives to avoid being responsible or making decisions. 
So now all these memories come up.
I won’t go into detail here because I do not want to name names, but suffice it to say that, and I am sure we have all experienced this, at work and at home, with siblings, etc. where emotions are used to evoke pity and get off the hook from being responsible. Within this group I run, I have encountered all number of excuses.  It happens all the time.
For instance, I changed a drop off day, added another day for one person, and two months later she was upset because the boxes were not out for her, so I said to her, just leave your stuff there, it is only one. And she said, “ Oh, does no one else come on this day” and I said , no you requested it. She looked at me and said,  “ I am not the only one that wants this!” I just looked at her. Thinking that somehow she was seriously disconnected from reality because she had asked for this because she was so busy with work that she could not come on the drop off day. 
A couple of times such things happened when my two sons were in grade school sports. I had arranged for them to get a ride from practice with another parent. As parents, sometimes one would drive the children home, taking turns to avoid driving because where I live things are spread out. Well, one time I drove this boy home and the next day the parent had said they would bring the boys home. Well, the next day, my son called and asked where I was. When I called the parent, they said to me, “ I am not responsible for your son.” I was shocked, because we had made these arrangements the day before, and I had learned to be careful and repeat the plans being made to clarify. These things do not happen all the time, but they did every once in a while, so I had to never assume that what was planned would actually happen, even when plans made would more than likely happen as planned.
Even when my children were really small, often, other woman would cancel at the last minute, I just simply learned to expect it, and this may be because the children were small. Yet, some women did this all the time and others not. Just like with this group I run. Some are responsible, but others come with stories of emotional duress and if i say one thing about a pattern, they tend to respond with a reaction that i am insensitive in some way. So, I have learned to “ not go there” because it is not worth the reaction.
Working in schools, there are parents like this, and the teachers and administrators tend to try and avoid such people who tend towards this kind of behavior all the time. 
So, when this woman said to me after my presentation, I noticed a reaction of anger. To me , this behavior is like a no win situation because an emotion has been expressed, one of duress, and such is simply a justification to not be responsible. And I allowed myself to be the same, because in a reaction of anger, because  feared this emotion being a value I had to accept, which I resisted and became indignant towards. Which is spite, really.  
Lately, I have had this thought coming up of “ If another person tells me they are busy and have too many problems in their life, I am going to scream.” And I realize that I am so tired of hearing this, that I have even had the thought to ask them “ oh, I am sorry to hear that ( feeling a desire to bite their head off!) ,  I hope you find a solution to your difficulty” and meanwhile hoping that this pulls them in to cry their grief. What I then find myself thinking is how I can take their “ grief” and use it to show how ridiculous they are. Like a planned revenge for using their “ woe” to not take any direction in being responsible. But this is just not something that builds relationships within our world that lead to an understanding of what we do within realizing ourselves. I am actually afraid of this emotional touting, even when it is a supposed “ positive” statement, because I fear if I do not stand by it I will be criticized, and there are those who just speak of the difficulty, the consequence, without wanting to move beyond it, and simply do not want to hear, anything that disrupts this. This is the point where I get angry. In many ways, I have to learn to say in so many words, here is the water, drink it/ take it in/ become equal to it and not blame myself when an attempt is made by myself to clarify the fear is rejected .The principle of what is best for all which is like bringing a storm in a teacup to the very substance that is it instead of the fury as idea that causes the storm that is , as idea, made bigger than the substance as the water holding the  fury that is exciting the water - forming it, separating it from its self awareness, as the still waters from which the water in the teacup came.
I realize that I had said to this woman, during my presentation, that as adults we realize that we made decisions in our youth that we later realize were not what was best for us, and that this was based on ideas we had as values around our words. So, when this woman said that she was having too many difficulties at the moment, I could have said that yes, the consequences of our actions eventually catch up to us, because we do not have a big enough understanding  of our selves and how we are formed.
This is something that could be said, in understanding, without anger. If I have any anger, it will be hard, but if I say this and mean it, absolutely, as in being directive within the simple realization of what we are and what is manifested as our present system, then perhaps, if there is a real desire to find solutions, if the “ duress” is “ real” the next step can be walked or if the teacup before me is using “ duress” as an automated behavior.  Even if this is an automated behavior, then I would find out and let it go, because of understanding how we are formed as a consciousness system as within this, if the automation is so intense, then that “ horse” is not going to drink. But if an offer of looking at what is happening is given without judgement in any way, the person may respond and accept the movement towards understanding and solution, an offer that is to “ still the waters” so to speak. I mean, this is really the only place to move towards, because this creates a starting point of acceptance without judgement, and from here can one begin to look at the present consequences creating the emotional storm. Within this, as myself, no reactions can exist, even if my perception of the other person as using emotions to avoid any responsibility is correct. And just as I suggest within moving to a starting point of no judgement as in “ still waters” then I cannot make a clear assessment of the other person. So, no matter what, I must become a starting point of “ still waters” to realize the solution to consequence, or see that emotional consequences of another as a movement in emotion that is fixed in place, most likely out of habit as a means of protection and defense, in  fear of being responsible, which is not something to accept, but to realize that this person is in their own process. 
And here another memory comes up. My husband has been dead for about three weeks. I was basically numb. This had to be more than ten years ago. I saw the bubble around people, and  how they incessantly self validate, trying to grab attention to their stories that uphold their values as the positive. Everyone at the table was doing this,  no one was present, all were completely fixated on what validated their whole personification. The emotion I have here, is wanting to not participate within this. I really don’t want to even take this on, like participating in this is the most awful horrible thing imaginable, so dirty, so insidious, so loud. I just want to shut my eyes and find quiet somewhere.
But the only way through is to see this in detail and walk it.  To realize that bubble is a “ teacup.”
 And the answer is in my own words, to find the still waters within myself and walk, and stand facing the separation into consequences of judgement bringing it back to self and directing within the principle of what is best for all, within what causes no harm,  within investigation, within the self realization that what is best for self is best for all, that which allows each physical point on earth to exist within its full potential as life, which is allowing the very substance of life to be aware of life in totality, and not just as limitations that are manifest as ignoring the whole and standing in a bubble of self interest in separation of the starting point of equality and thus respect for physical existence because we cannot exist as life without a form and a function as the parts moving in tandem enjoying being here. Life cannot exist without every part being aware of itself as life, which means being aware of the whole, having understanding of the whole, thus the present system of dividing awareness into some aspects of life being warped out of proportion and then incessantly made into a supposed “ truth” of good and bad, causing a game of association in a limited mind/memory set of these impulsed values will not create stability. 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Day 464 Physical Reactions based on Past Events: Separation from Life

There was a goat today that I saw in a video, and this goat was chasing people and butting them, or so the story goes. But, I noticed how this goat followed a woman from behind, ran up to her and stopped just before he got to her. The goat did this a couple of times. Then the woman turned and reacted, moving her arms. At this point the goat began to “ butt” her, and eventually knocked her over.

I was walking my dog and something similar happened. A couple walked towards me, and somehow, I can’t remember this part in detail, we stopped, and the man pet my dog. The woman remained still. My dog became excited with the attention and turned to the woman, as the dog did so, the woman threw up her arms and backed off, and said she did not like dogs. My dog became more excited and moved towards her. I had the dog on a leash so could reign in the dog. But I looked at the woman, and said the dog would not hurt her, and, that when she through up her arms and backed off as she did, the dog took this as her being excited and wanted to “ join in.” The man with her said to me that she was frightened of dogs, but I held my ground, I said my dog was friendly, but did and could get excited and would jump towards a person and be very willing to play. So, a reactive movement with the arms going up would be a signal to the dog. 

As the system stands, this is one of those instances where real “ help” so to speak can be considered rude, because one is not catering to the emotions of another as their ideological/past memory picture show value,  and actually trying to help a person understand that their physical behavior as their fear can lead to the very thing they are fearing. A dog is not going to read the “ inner story from a past event” in another person, and this is a good thing, because that past event is not what is here, thus that past story is not what is real, and as the reaction of the woman towards the dog suggests, my dog is not a dog to fear, and all the behaviors within this whole interaction made it clear that my dog was not an unfriendly dog in any way, so my dog just took reality in, a human standing there, one of which stopped and pet her, and the other who began throwing their arms up and standing back, which looked in the reality of the moment, without emotions and feelings based on past events, like someone that wanted to engage and play. So, in essence who is the fool, the dog or the human? Me think it is the human. 

What is the solution to this emotional storm placed before reality?

It is to, instead of defining ourselves as our past to slow down and look at what is here. And in this instance, to realize that perhaps the reason we were hurt by a dog was because we as humans reacted to a dog without considering physical reality and the judgement we reacted as causing the ensuing reaction that supposes harm, meaning the harm that exists is because we assume harm. That goat and my dog reacted to physical movement. That goat did that woman no harm, it was only when she reacted towards the goat that the goat reacted back, that goat was excited from another person, but did not hurt that woman at first. 

If we take the time to be here, in the moment and look, our past does not need to be lived again and again and we might actually find, for example, that we like playing with dogs, which can be very enjoyable and relaxing.

If all of us as adults have such things, as emotional  self definitions based on past events,  then  how can we expect our children to not become the same? And then when our children carry their own emotions, and these go against our emotions as parents, what happens, do we place our emotions before the children or do we let them go? I mean whose emotions should be more “ real” and thus given priority to? Overall this all means that the emotions can be given up, which means that we need not carry them around. I mean , I can see where this would be used and cause all kinds of miss-understandings. I can see where in family get togethers, the cause of friction is that everyone is wanting their emotions to be the “ real” ones. And meanwhile, living is not what is happening. In essence, we have manifested this as our money system, where some people actually believe that they deserve more money than others, because they actually believe that their “ business” or hard work is more than anothers, as they stand and look at how they have moved words around on paper, or digits around on a screen, as even seeds around on the ground. In the end it is all a movement, here as life. And somehow, we have allowed an idea of something having more significance than reality. And we try and get everyone else to believe this too.

The only solution in all of this is to realize we live in a physical reality, and that it is what is right here, right in front of us, as physical things moving around that we use to sustain us, that we use to keep us warm, and feed us, that is what composes here, that is real. Bringing our past here, wanting ideas about what we did in the past, or what we do being somehow more than what another does is a separation from reality. In all simplicity, we can only be in one place at a time, moving one thing with our hands, so no one person is more than another. And holding onto emotions from the past, or ideas about our endeavors,  is holding onto a movement in the past that has nothing to do with being here and respecting physical existence. We can only be here, and anything of the mind that does not see physical reality here, and respect it/ see it as what it physically is and  within this, allow it to participate and move within physical reality in full participation, is a state of being that is in separation from life.

If we forgive our emotions as our past, and learn to be here, physically here, in common sense of here, what would become of reality? Might we actually begin to enjoy being here and begin to see others, especially, if emotions and feelings as self definitions no longer exist? Would we begin to realize the physical world around us, and work with it instead of ignore it based on ideas and past events being what we allow to occupy our attention in the face of physical reality? If we begin to pay attention to here, then we might have the time to actually look at what is going on in this world and realize that our present system is not working,  this system of emotions and feelings and beliefs being more than the reality here, and needs to change because this present system is not taking care of this earth. And, as we can see, being here, and taking care of what is here as this earth, is really the only thing that is real and that we all only have two hands, thus we as humans must work together as a group to get this done.

The rewards of this are a world where the physical reality is cared for, and understood. Looking at  what has been allowed and accepted as a form as our system, and realizing how much it caters to ideas of one thing being more than another based on some inner value system that bears no witness to life, which is physical as the manifestation of life in expression,  is not serving up respect for that which we are, physical beings ( and that it is the physical that carries the picture show - so the picture show cannot exist without the physical ) . 

TIme to stand up and support the physical, so we can bring the inner picture show of judgement, as a game of association based on past events that in themselves were a reaction to here and take care of what is the value, of which the physical world enables as to be, which is life.

Support a Living Income Guarantee. Support life, support the full potential of self as a physical expression of life through structuring a system that gives the physical the basic needs to become what we all want, which is to be equal to life in full expression.

Check out DIP Lite, to slow down and take a look at your own emotional storm that is separating you from seeing a dog that means no harm and only wants to enjoy life and play.
FB Equal Life Foundation