Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Day 640 A moment in mind consciousness ONLY! STOP!

Yesterday, I went into a sinking personification as a belief that I had failed, that getting through was impossible, and from there I realized, wait, it is a practical world where we create a within that is not equal to the without, an above that is not equal to the below. The below being the source of the projection that is not equal, as the physical world. I have looked at how this all works, as what a thought is, and how a thought when done again and again, through space and time, repeated, over and over, becomes a ghost in the machine, describing the machine, creating conflict with the real mechanism of and as the physical. The entity of belief, spiraling like a christmas tree light, unable to fit into the physical because it has not considered the physical, yet becoming the program of the physical in slowly diminishing the physical, and as information considered knowledge, becoming what directs, where the directions cause many mistakes in the world because it ignores what is here, and then blaming the missed things for being in the way. A backwards way of being! The information being what is accepted and allowed, spinning around in self justification because it is all that is what is informed. I mean, there is no information to enable one to slow down and watch the grass grow, and yet, this is who one really is under/behind/throughout/within before the information entity of limited focus/value/insight began to be one’s self definition. 
Thus, all emotions and feelings are a lie. The real state of being as life, must be that of a fluid ease, here, enjoined, with what is here, always moving as the solution of and as what is best for all. It is to be saturated with all that is here, where each movement is in focus, a focus that is all that one is. How satisfying would that be? lol, one could say it would be the ultimate ‘ drug’! One that would cause no harm!

Yesterday, I had to drive in a lot of traffic. As I slowed down to turn onto a side street, I noticed a biker just behind me, so I could not turn, I had to stop. At the same time, I noticed a large car behind me, right on my tail. I feared stopping suddenly, because of the car behind me was so close, and at the same time, I could not turn because of the person on the bike beside me, was moving pretty fast. So, I pulled slightly over to the side, leaving room for the biker to pass and the car behind me to swerve further out onto the road if need be. The biker, was uncertain, hit the brakes swerved around me on the other side, yelling and cursing at me, and the white car behind me, appeared to be less than an inch from my rear fender. I was not moving very fast, overall. Thankfully nothing more happened than being yelled at by the biker, whom I was being considerate of. 
I found myself becoming frustrated and angry, and very tense. I wanted to blame the car behind me, and I wanted to yell at the biker. In all, it was one of those situations where everything was tightly compressed,  and considering the objects in the space, seemed overwhelming. So, it was that energetic need within me, to immediately blame and spite, project stories onto the car behind me, the biker, catching the details of them in a moment and comparing them to a moral good, using the details of the objects in some quantum measure to belittle and make me feel better in a superior way, when overall, I was afraid, afraid of an accident, afraid of the consequences of an accident, and all the blame and spite that might , or might not, come towards me, should an accident happen. One huge  motion picture show of morality using cultural measures to protect and defend myself and all the while, I am in total separation from reality. 
As I turned onto the quiet road, I slowed down, saying to myself, no, going into this is not being here, does not solve problems, is not that which brings solution. STOP stop stop.
I had to realize that earlier in the day, I had had an expectation about something, and upon reflection, realized I had not been practical in space and time, within what is a process that must move in an ordinary way, to reach the solution that is the extra-ordinary. I can’t get to the extraordinary until I walk the practical. So, in the moment I continued to drive on the quieter street, I did forgiveness, and remembered the script of here, the practice of walking step by step, realizing  how this physical world functions right here before me, to ground myself in a stable practice of living where I could be calm, directive, finding solutions, realizing practical steps in a physical reality and reaching the ultimate reward, being at ease, enjoying simply being here, and instead of chasing an idea, I stop, slow down, cross reference the practice of realizing that what is best for all is right here in front of me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to a biker cursing me out for entering ostensible cutting in front of him.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to blame the car behind me for being right on my tail.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought “ I was considering you, you idiot”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become unhinged, within myself, all the while realizing that moving into such judgement was not solving the problem.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that the source of my self accepted and created ire, was from earlier in the day, and as such probably a self accepted and allowed distraction from looking at what was behind me and beside me, in the busy traffic a few seconds earlier, being aware as in being consistent in noticing that the traffic was very busy and that this meant not only to notice this, and to also remain diligent because of it.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I was the cause of the upset around me, having become lost in my own story of expectation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to rush an outcome, without walking the practical ordinary steps necessary to reach the extra ordinary outcome of the goal that I allowed myself to rush towards without considering the practical world around me, where there is enough space and time to move in careful ways.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not slow down and stop running as a story in and as my mind, to instead realize the practical details of living here, a real story that considers all things around me, in every moment, to walk step by step a real practice of living here, equal and one within and as what is best for all, as this is best for self.
When and as I find myself reacting, within and as me, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, I see realize and understand that i am moving into spite and blame, using a morality of limited values, to protect and defend myself  instead of realizing and as such respecting what is here as the physical, and to accept that which is myself as life, that reveals the way and the means, of becoming equal and one to life here.
When and as I find myself building within and as me, an ire, as a short tempered fuse, ready to burst at the slightest provocation - or so I believe- I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, I assess where and when I accepted an idea, belief or opinion, to define me, and where I became in fear of losing something, and as such expecting something, and I evaluate my accepted and habituated morality, to bring my own self interested judgements back down into the practice of living, as the journey of myself back to life, out of a mind consciousness system only, to realize with every breath, what is best for all, slowing way down, to move step by step into what is a real natural state of being, where I can, slow down enough to ‘ watch the grass grow’.
When and as I find myself rushing, and becoming impatient, I stop I breath, I slow myself down, and I assess where I have not investigated enough to ground myself here, into a self corrective application that can stand and direct my actions in ways that bring clarity and stability that is sustainable within and as what brings solutions that is the process of respecting the world around me as life as the physical.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Day 639 Mind consciousness or the presence of living here?

I met a person yesterday that had a profession that I immediately responded to with information I had about a character in a book of the same profession. I reacted to them, as though they had the potential of this character in this story.

Socially, their profession is low down on the scale of good jobs and less ‘ good’ jobs. Yet, as in the story I compared them to, the possibility of having the same openness and character as the character in the story motivated me to speak with them in a calm way.

This morning I woke up, heavy from the day before, and said to myself “ What is love?” The two things coming up in my previous day and myself bringing them forward in the morning of the next day, where I am at present.

When I played the violin, and I learned something new, it would take time, or, it would not. By this I mean, when I understood something, as in how to do something, the change into the new way could be incorporated very very fast. It is like saying that when something is ‘ pure’ and ‘ clean’ within one’s understanding as one's focus, one can find this again, employ the change without effort, and see the effects in movement within using the new understanding/measure. It is like entering a new space, and in that new space, movement is much easier and much faster - this being inside one’s self. Yet, this cannot be only automated, presence must exist, like expanding awareness more than just doing something over and over again.  And, the practice of ' practice' is about becoming aware.

Have I defined ‘ love’ here? Is love that direction that can come with such ease, one wonders why it was not always, all ways used? Would such awareness be what love is?

And, in relation to my reaction/response to a person who had the profession of a character in a story, am I moving as hope, and desire, in tandem with an idea, instead of being love, here? One is moving as knowledge and information, and the other is looking at space and time, here? One hangs onto something and the other looks in more detail, or presence, here? I ask myself. So, I came to the point of asking what is love, and what is being in the present system that functions on knowledge and information and/or moves as what creates an ease of movement that is so strong it cannot be forgotten. Yet using that action outside of the context within where it was noticed, in itself takes an effort! I ask here, is this an example of how stagnant moving as knowledge and information can be, in relation to moving in the present, using one’s common sense?

One is based on idealogical measure, and one is applying an ease that opens up insight to the forms of here as the physical. In word play by the very slow measure an order of words can convey when knowledge and information only, what is here, as in being brought forward becomes something that as limited knowledge, by design, I find, often repeats itself. (Like being in SLOW MOTION!) . Like, if I say this enough it will be real! When it cannot be real as knowledge and information because it is an idea about something! Yet, because of the system of knowledge and information being so huge, being placed before one’s common sense, must I use the game of association to direct me, as this is what this is? Can this giant ' slow mo" be brought back down to the measure of physical reality? And, is this not what our media is doing? No problems ever really solved?!

To stop myself from getting caught in a tail spin as my mind consciousness, I just stopped and asked myself, ‘ What is love?’ Can I breath, become calm, and then what? Is this where I define ‘ love’? Can I turn this word into my crutch to direct me here? lol And here I go into thinking again!

I , at this point, would say that love is always giving directions that allow an ease of movement. An ease of movement means directing one’s self  in ways that are grounded. Not fearing to be here, realizing that I am life information, which would be a form, hence the physical- composed of cells, the building blocks of sound, a stable, constant sound. Nothingness into expression, into form. Where else would such come from?  To move in ways that are grounded, one is aware of the present space, and has little fear, as there is no need for fear, because one is so focused that what is done is seen, and/or retained.  This is being love, having no fear that the greater awareness is a threat to one’s self in any way, as this is what one would want for one’s self. A ‘ greater awareness’ is being present here, substantiating the physical and its expression in ways that do no harm. What if we substantiated all children within this? That would be an amazing thing, as I see it from my limited mind consciousness!  What if we substantiated the physical world, became present as it?  What if we respected this form around us?

This is why life on this earth, for it to exist, the only solution is to give as one would receive, because having all of us move as we would want for ourselves, means giving all the space and time to see directly here, the physical world with ease. Directing as an idea, based on traditional roles, read in a book ( not a bad) ONLY, is heavy and slow, because pictures as the mind, is an after thought built from what is real, as the physical creation that is life expression!

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to direct within motivation, as an idea, based on knowledge and information gathered from a story.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an association based on knowledge and information as a mind consciousness system only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how I can so easily, through habit, as what I have accepted and allowed to define me as information, polarized into goods and bads, ‘ opportunity and limitation” based on stories in and as my own accepted and allowed mind consciousness system of knowledge and information that I have allowed to become greater than  the life around me as the physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how I can become lost in my own habit, directing myself as this, as this is what I have practiced, instead of being grounded here, in practical reality, as what works in practice as a physical state, considers the physical, and gives me the ability to move in common sense, where I need not hide, as being here, as a physical being, need not hide, as this is life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to move as love, where love is, as a verb, is similar to live, and living is physical thus, to focus here and direct here, as in being here, as an expression, and thus a verb, an action, so I focus here, to consider all things, to move within the principle of being a living word, which is to be equal to life, and to respect the life around me as I would want to be respected, as this is the principle of equality, to give as I would receive, to do no harm, to take that which is good, to realize what gives a constant directiveness that can withstand the test of time, to build a world that is heaven on earth, here, as we were told, the solution. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move as my imagination, my mind construction based on values, ideas, beliefs and opinions, from knowledge and information that has had but forced application.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not love myself, to reprimand myself , like punishing the points of entity formations as ideas as knowledge and information instead of taking that which is good, and forgiving the overall imagination directions and placing them into actual practical living here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear moving into the small practical details , for fear of explaining myself and for fear of being rejected, as the measure of common sense can move against a mind consciousness knowledge and information without presence in reality as the physical consideration and respect that is life creation in expression, here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become all a tempo as mind consciousness, instead of all a tempo with the practice of living in the presence of physical reality, here, in a life of volume equal and one with creation here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that moving into the small, as the detail of living and changing from knowledge and information means that something will be lost and failure will happen, when it is that moving into the small, is being present here, as the mind consciousness moves as set bodies of knowledge and information, serving self interest instead of living/loving here, this physical world, this world that is life in expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that moving into the small, as in being present here, not using only knowledge and information, cross referencing reality as the physical, will mean that something is lost, an illusion, as what is lost, or reformed is myself in love with life here, being considerate of the physical as life in FORMation.

When and as I find myself moving as idea, opinion and belief, as information in and as my mind, I stop, I breath, I slow myself way down, and I ground myself here, to see directly here, to become an expression of the insight of actual living here, to become love, in thought word and deed here.
When and as I find myself becoming uncertain, and/or, fishing/phishing for information as information only, as ideas, beliefs, opinions , in and as my mind, I stop, I breath, I slow myself way down, to become love, as in respect of physical space and time, which is only HERE, and I speak as that which grounds here, as this is what directs here, as this is what focuses here, and  as such, becomes an association to life, to what loves here, which is to love myself and all that is me, the same, as the physical.

When and as I find pressure within and as me, as a pressure around my torso, around my shoulders, in my solar plexus, in my knees, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, I forgive the judgements of value based on limited mind consciousness, as a morality that is of survival in fear of being self responsible as life here, that which is the opposite of the weight of fear, that which moves with joy and ease, as I see it here at the moment from my habit of being a mind consciousness, and I forgive, and ground myself here, to begin the practice of being in tempo with life, as respecting the physical world that is life in form, in expression, around me, to begin to align myself to the tempo of life, to become love, to Live Of theVolume of the Expression of the sound of life as the physical world that is me, here. 

When and as I find myself reacting to the measure before me, I stop, I slow way down, I breath, I give as I would receive, I use patience, presence, to sense the form here, the me-lody as a mind consciousness and the grounding that is the physical, to stabilize myself here, in respect of the physical world, and I walk being present here, realizing thinking is the measure of my own constructed, accepted and allowed, mind consciousness that shows the tempo of my own accepted and allowed separation from respecting the life around me as the physical world, here.

When and as I find myself weighted with energy, in comparison, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, I forgive the mind consciousness belief measure, the inferiority and superiority values as the mind justifications , as the tempo of fear, and I ground myself, taking the time to realize my self accepted separation to life, my habit, practiced through imitation of a morality system of values,  and instead I take that which is good and does no harm, as that which considers all things, as that which respects all life, as this physical world, to practice the gift of life, as the ease of being here, as life in expression as the physical which by nature would what transforms in ways that do no harm, and shares understanding in thought, word and deed, as the measure of here and all that is of that which substantiates form as the physical around me and as me, here.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Day 638 Peeling back the layers of belief that I repeated again and again.

I begin to feel that I keep saying the same things again and again, Yet this repetition is how I have built my own separation from living here, equal and one, in respect of reality, as the physical world. Thus, as I peel back the layers, what I find is a composition of value judgements, where I polarize into a good and bad. I place blame and spite on all manner of objects; animals, inanimate objects, plants, people, in total abdication of common sense. Common sense is to respect reality as the physical. I avoid looking at this when I become a mind consciousness of value judgements , I accept and allow my own separation. I bear the consequences of this myself, and I carry the burden of this self created and accepted game of division as my own television defining myself, a composition of justification instead of living. I am the demise of not existing in my own full potential as life. I can blame no one for what I have accepted and allowed.
If I have chosen to be inferior to this reality, it is a movement that I accepted. Given that our present system is to order this separation in all of us, I have to work with this system reflecting separation of men into hues of value judgements, acting in self interest to hide what we all realize we are doing, not realizing that getting out of the layered spin of this is going to take some effort on our parts. Something that no one can do for us but ourselves. Only I can change what I have accepted and allowed. Any movement of blame and spite, of believing this to be too hard, too difficult, is not going to change that which is moving as energy, manifest as measures of projecting blame and justifying actions within judgements via thoughts as word within me. I allowed them, i accepted the measure, thus I am responsible.

Changing a bit appears difficult, yet the more one understands how that habit formed within oneself, the more structural awareness one builds and this structure gives one the means to change. This is what education allows. In this world, if one has access to a computer, one has the capacity to do this. Those who are bearing the consequences of a mind consciousness system instead of a life support system, do not have the means to access to change, they are in survival mode only, thus it is the responsibility of each of us that have the means to look here at practical reality and to become the change that creates a world where life is lived in dignity, where there is no harm, and where that which improves our lives is used in respect of living as physical beings because life must in all common sense have a form, and that form is right here in front of us as the physical. 
I walk the Desteni I Process to forgive what I have accepted and allowed as value judgements in fear of life, to stand in respect of life as the physical world, to make sure that I understand and thus realize what I allowed to make sure it never happens again. What is cool is that I let go the burdens of belief and begin to move with more ease in this life. So, I suggest to walk the Desteni I Process to realize yourself as life, to enable self to walk through the eye of the needle, to become equal and one, as light as a feather, to and as the life that is you, here.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Day 637 I am the Self Directive Principle of Me.

I noticed this week that in not reacting to the words of another, as the very measure of value and/or understanding about being here, that the emotional reactions as I see them manifest - as justifications based on good and bad, as a fear of ‘ what if’- quickly passed. The momentum into concept understanding moved to a greater degree, being more fun than the reactions based on belief that sometimes voiced itself within me as words moving through my mind.

I would let things go and look to the construction and reform. It is a very creative process, and one that takes focus. When I look at this, as having done this more often, it is really quite fun!
In all, this is simply sharing being creative, meaning to look at what is present and realizing it cannot define unless it is accepted as such, which if allowed to define, the means is of self interest instead of being present in the moment, because in all reality, we can only be here.

At one point something was said to me, and I caught myself fearing that this statement would become something for which I would be blamed. Like, there was a fear within me that because I was in the very presence of such a thought, I was  going to bear the brunt of its existence- meaning the very formation of what was being said was the fault of me. It did not matter that perhaps I had not said it.

At this point I began to move into an inferior position, a doom and gloom scenario that this might be found out and that I would lose something if this should be found out. Overall, it makes no sense, it is just a belief that what was stated could be pinned on me- this being a thought that is taken as an end game, completely illogical.
This is complete paranoia, a fear. This fear is stagnant. This fear shares nothing. It is an act of self interest.  It is an act of not accepting life. It is an act of rejecting common sense, an act of self rejection. 

I mean, I can be this in a moment, and then move, becoming creative and looking at what is formed, and transform . Nothing is stagnant unless it is accepted and allowed to be so. 

What defines me is what I allow to define me. No one else can do this for me, unless I allow this. In all common sense, no one can decide what I am within, because no other human can really come within me.  I am the one who creates the very volume of myself. I am the one who builds the neurons within and as me, in reflection of the measure of what I accept and allow. Not even television can decide what I am unless I accept it!This means that ultimately, I cannot blame anyone for what it is that I am! No one. I decide.

Thus, I commit to becoming the self directive principle of myself. I realize that everything I allow myself to be, is by my own volition and no one else. Just as I cannot be responsible for another, no one can be responsible for me. I am responsible for myself. What I accept and allow can change, simply by using my own common sense, the very gift of myself as what I am, here. 

I can share what I am doing, I can ask questions and re-solve formations. I can choose to direct in ways that do no harm. I can become the directive principle of life, to investigate, and consider all things, taking that which is good and does no harm. I can then become constant, even building momentum within this, to find solutions and move into them, in thought, word and deed, to rebuild a world that is best for all, inch by inch, measure by measure. The ground is beneath my feet, I need only connect and feel its ever supporting presence.