Friday, August 31, 2012

Day 134 Withholding common sense development in Children is a crime against LIfe.


Last night I had a guest here who knows some yoga, so we started doing all these different poses.
It was cool to see how the body could balance and become capable of moving - as though in air, or from a line of balance- and stretch. The rolling of the front part of the body forward, with a counter motion of moving back, and then finding the balance physically, so easy when this forward/backward motion established the space - as how I see this at this moment.
There were a couple of positions  I could not do at all. It was like I could not see them, not find the balance point. I would have to do them again and again and then suddenly it would be there.

So, I looked at this and tried this -for me- difficult position. Nothing was there, like no sense was there, like a blank was there, whereas in other things I found the balance.

This would happen with the children in the schools, I would try to explain something and they would just stare into space as though they were looking for something. And no matter how many times I tried to explain the thing in another way, that stare, that blank stare was what I got. I would look at this and ask what this was, this seeming blankness.
Is it that there is no information there for the child to reach, as what they are already as mind, with no physical common sense ability with what is here? Since they have not developed any common sense, physical common sense, could they even manage to, even though they are young and limber - supposedly- sense quickly how to find balance and move their physical bodies?

I taught in a classroom and in a music room in an elementary school. The same children who were “frozen” within the demands of the classroom were also frozen within the music class and would not/ believed themselves unable to, sing.
There were some who could sing, but they were - on average not what would be called the best students. Yet, sometimes these ‘not what is considered the best” students could sing more freely that the best academically performing students. It is like the spectrum from the worst students to the best students, in elementary school, had the ones most free, naturally, within singing and music were the middle children.
If I look at the two classes where I got to know the children, the student’s who were restless within the class, meaning they did the work but averaged a B, as though they were restless and bored, or had the manners to comply but, could find no sense or stimulation within this. It was interesting that the top academically performing children were not that strong  in music.
The children who were blank were also not the strong one’s in music.
Because I was always subbing in the schools I would inevitably end up in the school music concerts in each school. I would look at the children singing in the choir, and I knew, from being in the classroom and the music room, through the behaviors of the children as they sang in the choir, and because I had played in orchestras, I could hear the sounds even from a distance. So I could see who was actually singing, and who was holding back, which we can all see if we fucking look.  And because I had two boys, the ages of most of these children, I would also see many of these children playing sports. And it was the same, the amount of focus and self “being there” presence of these children. And many who could not sing with comfort and had behaviors within their choral concerts, had the same behaviors following them within performance in sport.
No matter how much “bravado” appeared in the sport arena within them, that which was holding them back within the calm and music stood out one and the same, across the fields.
SO, this yoga “stance” that I could not find, where I new I had no sense physically of this position, where I caught others right away, with this one, I would get to point and not see it, I would become blank, meaning there was no sense “ ability” past a certain point here.
The question is why not? Why are these children unable to sense? Why are these children not able to sense across the boards? It makes no sense that there is no sense , common sense development, and that is all there is to it. This lack of common sense development is unacceptable.
This sense of what is here, also does not exist between people, how the fuck can people even have relationships, meaning exist with one anther if this is non-existent, this common sense?
But this ability to sense what is here, to the point where one can sing, or move beyond a moment of non-sensing, where the behavior is not of pulling back and hiding, but of being here, and not one of this blank spot - so to speak, but an ability to see through, move through, sense the existential “hole” met and to bring oneself here one and equal to what is here and thus be able to become  one with the common sense of what is here, in totality, one and equal to the human physical body and the space of this world surrounding self, here, with this human physical body.

It really is like, what the fuck is going on here?


I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the children of this world are not being taught to use their common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I, as well have not been taught to use my common sense, and thus interact with this world, one and equal, in common sense, and that within this I have in fact never really lived.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that that which is seemingly intangible, as what is the real value, as myself as life has in no way been developed within this profit based system, where I have become knowledge and information, without any practical application, and thus have accepted and allowed behaviors to develop within and as children where the children cannot sing, cannot become one and equal to what is actually real, here, and end up staring into a blank hole in separation from the whole of existence, from their ability as life, that which enables life as what they are/we to be one and equal to what is here in common sense of what is real, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is a criminal act to and towards life, to withhold the development of children in and as their ability as life to be in common sense of themselves in and as their human physical bodies, especially on a world, as earth, that gives of itself freely, having no signature of ownership but what man has allowed to be placed on this earth, turning this existence into a game of survival instead of a world where life is allowed to express itself in common sense as itself as life, one and equal to this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the illnesses of children are caused through this withholding of common sense development in and as what they are, an instrument of life, and thus, as this life as what they are, capable of becoming one and equal to this physical world being one and equal in common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the nature of the child, as life, within a instrument of life as the physical body, composed of same substance, is being taught to separate from itself into limited ideas, beliefs and opinions and thus conquered into feeding a system of inequality, of service to watered down/limited/supposed lack of evidence as withholding details- non full disclosure ( which renders all laws moot because they are inconsiderate of the whole and since no one can really own anything- how can something be withheld that cannot really be owned? Is it not illegal to lend what is not owned?)  thus are our children not allowed an education of full disclosure of what they are, which is life, where themselves as life, have an innately build in ability to be fucking common sense, and thus to withhold this development is a crime against life, Period.

Commitment statements to follow.





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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Day 133 What is actually here.


I commit myself to realizing that the only thing that is real is what is right here, physically right here in front of me.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that no matter what is said, what is real, is what is right here in front of me.
I commit myself  to see, realize and understand that what I have allowed is as fear/separation consisting of emotions and feelings being thrown at me either accepted and allowed from within or without, emotions and feelings that bear no substance or witness to what is here.
I commit myself to seeing that when I am within and as a feeling or emotion, I am actually separate from what is here and thus allowing myself to exist within and as friction as conflict as unresolved oneness and equality to life, ready for combat within and as a judgment based on self interest as the mind, un-accepting of what is actually physically here as life, where the only real value is life here.
I commit myself to actually walking within myself as life, where nothing can be lost except what is not what is real.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding the extent to which I have allowed myself to exist in and as fear, where I am within separation from life, and within this separation, I have blinded myself to what is actually happening on this planet, I have blinded myself to actually realizing and seeing the consequences of a profit based system through becoming so occupied with my small bubble of life that I have allowed myself to become caught up in emotions and feelings that serve no purpose to life, as they are not aware of or supportive of life here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the only thing I can walk, is what is actually physically here, and if I choose to actually see what is here, that this physical world is life, and thus within this, anything that does not support what is here, that does not take what is freely given by this earth and give it equally to all, to support what is here, is a crime and unacceptable, and that there is absolutely no argument that can stand against this, as life is the value and this is the absolute, period.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing, and understanding through word and focus that every breath I take, every word I speak is in support of all life, where I need not be righteous, as what is here is life, realizing that all emotions, thoughts and feelings are myself in separation from what is actually physically here.
I commit myself to breathing, into, one and equal to my emotions, thoughts and feelings, to bring myself here, to forgive opinions, ideas, wants and needs that are not what is actually supportive of life here.









Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Day 132 Anger Reaction to Truth The care of self interest



It is said that if one tells the truth, it will make people really angry. Why? Because lies allow self interest, food to manipulate. Another form of lying is withholding all the details, and this also allows for manipulation in self interest ( within a system, where humans are programmed and thus can be deprogrammed, thus to state that it is human nature, is in fact to just stop looking at consequence, using a non-sequitur, another form of lying- as in trying to change the topic) Even the fact that education in a factory like form exists, means that the human can be programmed, which means the human is taught certain beliefs, opinions and ideas. And who prints the text books? Who has the money?
Who has the money to build guns? Who has the money to send aid? Who supports the politicians? Who controls advertising, who is a subsidiary of what? And does all this fit into the term “ follow the money” ? Within this would the lies as partial truths, as “ we do not have proof ( because the study has not been funded by the same who - if one follows the money-  buys the politicians and the guns, and the aid and and and. But meanwhile, within this, who are the building blocks of all of this? What is it that supports all of this? What is it that supports all of this that is programmable? Who can do things even machines cannot do? Who holds that gun? Who takes that check? Who reads that text book, without question, in fear of losing their job? What is the glue that holds this system together, that streams the money along the paths, the roads  of transaction built? Who is it that allows the movement of money from hand to hand?
Who is it that allows all of this? Within this, who is it then that allows the abuse on this earth?
Are you one of the points in the grid moving the money along without looking at the pyramid, as grid on what is here that is given freely?
I can see where many would become angry with this, as I stated before, this means that there are no lies to hide behind, there are no excuses that can change this. Are you a litter of hate, or are you standing as life and becoming literate of life? Once read there is no other choice, as to ignore this is to be the abuse that exists on this earth, the cause through submission and or dominance, both are the same, a catch 22 of separation, where the belief of an outer directive, a crutch,  divides into justification of more than and less than, of submission and dominance, of hate and love, always a two, thus is 22 a man walking with inner crutches manifest as thoughts, emotions and feelings, based on ideas, beliefs and opinions,  ignoring what is real, ignoring  what is the value,  in effect -ignoring this physical world and what has been accepted and allowed that is unacceptable.
The way out is through common sense of what has been accepted and allowed as the present system of inequality, walking one’s unresolved ignorances as separations into polarities- the many characters and personas arguing for justification,  writing this out seeing it for what it is, self forgiving this program through speaking the words of self forgiveness, and correcting them, through corrective speaking and action, until one is equal and one to life, and no longer divided and accepting the feed of faith. After all, look at how wealthy the church is. This is the deprogramming of inequality into equal and one with and as life as what we are. The desteni i process, is to remove all the bullshit programmed within a system of profit as inequality as separation from life, to bring back self to life, to piece self back together again. Interesting that piece and peace are one and the same. 


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe in submission and dominance.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that submission and dominance is an energetic polarity developed to create more than and less than, to develop feeling good for submitting to a singular emotion or feeling of doing good, a pendulum at play before my eyes, the carrot on a string in separation from what is real, this physical world, where the pendulum at play can cause dizziness and I cling to the ride, with my life, as I have not been taught to stand as myself as life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in becoming submissive, I am actually being dominant, as I am giving to what is dominant, and thus accepting and allowing it through giving to it, and thus not standing as myself here, equal and one, utilizing common sense in totality as what I am as a human physical body on a freely giving earth, where what is given allows self discovery as life, as the gift is life, as life is the value, as this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that actions of greed, where there is no follow through, only grabbing in self interest, a taking that is not supportive as a giving and sharing of what is here, to allow all that is here to exist in dignity as what is the value, which is life, thus until life is in full expression here on this earth there is not life and has never been life, and it is the human, who will choose life, through choosing to walk in equality and oneness, aware that the value is life, and the catch 22 is the separation in abdication of self as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that desire is a form of submission, where I am allowing an outer directive to guide, through following, thus creating, one and equal to a dominant force instead of looking at what is real, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that When I submit to energy I am in essence in separation of myself as life.
I forgive myself to not see, realize and understand that submission is fear, and thus ignorance of here in common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I need not fear, as fear can be walked through in common sense, and thus rejection is not real, as all that is here is life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that when I become an emotion or feeling, as energy, I am supporting characters and personas based in fear of loss, as ideas and beliefs and opinions as the program as me, as what i have accepted to be real, and thus of no substance and as such will cause friction within and as my human physical body, of discord in separation as self from equality as life, life being, self, directing in common sense of what is best for self, as what is best for self is best for life


Day131 There is no ascension, there is simply HERE


Day 131
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that there is something out there that is going to come and take care of me, like a god, or a higher force, or some ascension is going to take place where I will sit next to some higher being and become aware of the universe.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is some authority over myself that I must follow.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not have seen , realized and understood that one day when I was desperately trying to figure out what the fuck was happening to my husband, as I stood in the hall way of my apartment, that I suddenly realized that we/I created this world, that I /we were the creators of this world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that though I had a moment of seeing that we/you/I are the creators of this world, I did not have an understanding of what I was in totality and thus did not know the details of how I was constructed as an organic robot and how this would take over, as it did from that moment of insight.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that this must have triggered something, because even as I became very angry after the death of my husband, as I became a single mom, where a superintendent blocked a job offer because he turned to the principle and said, you cannot hire this woman because she is a single mom, that I had no idea how judgmental society was based on face value, where a person is not looked at, and thus how this can cause people within our world who have no chance of education to become criminals, as they really have no other choice, and within this, given that prisons are now profit based with such companies actually listing profits for share holders, this present system of capitalism needs prisoners to pay the pensions of others, thus it is profitable to have criminals to put in prison, thus it is profitable to actually withhold education and development for humans, which is so criminal, that anyone who does not see that the only choice is to create a system of equality is in fact evil, as the representation of money to distribute freely given resources of this earth, in and as the equal money system gift what is the value, life, as denial of this is to allow abusive practices to continue that obviously do not support the expression of life, as this is the value, as this is what we all are, equal and one.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that sibling rivalry is based on fear of being considered less than, fear of not getting attention and accolade from parents, as children are enmeshed in a very small hierarchy within a system of inequality, where parents are themselves only considering money to survive and later, as they grow older start to look to god, within some kind of repentance, one addiction for another, even mapped out as what happens often with elderly people, and to return to where i started- that as a small child, what is presented is a hierarchy of attending to what supports this system, to attending to being seen as good in the eyes of parents with cultural values of more than and less than that are in and as themselves in separation from what is the value, as the value is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the only ascension is to create equality on this earth, to realize that life is the value.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have realized that in common sense, being taught to seek praise from a parent is in itself not a being learning to self direct, in and as awareness of what is here, where if this were the case, then sibling rivalry would not exist.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if the value were life, then there would be no judgements, as objectification into and as an idea such as single woman/mom, with negative and or positive connotations, which are polarities, would not exist and what would be seen is a being, an expression of life, and this is common sense, and we have been told this, in and as the words of Christ, as understanding what is a living word, as the word is as precious as any and all forms of life here, where the value is life, and as such must be supported equally, as what is real and equal in all is that we are all life.



I commit myself to no longer  exist in judging those who judge, and to simply walk in common sense, realizing the living word as being what is that which is best for all.
I commit myself to not answering to any emotional storm until I have brought myself back to breath, to becoming one and equal to breath, to taking in the morality story of separation from what is best for all and directing the mind of thoughts, emotions and feelings, to realize that such exists as separation from what is best for all, as self interest within a consumerist, capitalistic system composed of a centralized authority that now allows prisons to become profitable entities is in fact the same without as the human is within, as what is feared is self as life, as self abdicates self in self interested salvation without considering all life, as what is here, being equal and one to self, where life is the value.
I commit myself to realizing, in common sense , that anything within this system that is not supporting the development of life, where prisons indicate that life is not being supported, mean that the system must change, where any one saying, this is the best we have, or this is the way it is, are in fact criminal statements within ignorance  as fear of standing up as life, as self, thus these are statements of cowards who have justified their cowardice with statements of futility in and as fear, where it is the self that is not walking through the fear, as each and every one must walk through fear, to see, realize and understand that fear is the separation and as the non looking of self as life at what is real, here, life. It is that simple.



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Monday, August 27, 2012

Day 130 The pacifier is a plug


I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my own system educated morality separates me from allowing myself as life, as common sense of this physical world, as what is here being in fact one and equal to me as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that any heaviness i feel is my self  in failure mode, as belief that there is no place to go, yet if I listen and I look at what is here as this physical world, as common sense of this physical world will reveal itself as the nature of itself, and thus the signs of direction are here in and as the physical, yet if I am addicted to what consumerism sells, all that I come to allow are pacifiers that are in fact evil as they consume, just as children are taught to suck on a pacifier instead of being allowed to develop their common sense here, thus, we learn from day one, to plug ourselves with pacifiers instead of using our human physical bodies to sense this world, to become one and equal to this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that already as a infant, the morality of right and wrong is placed on the child, where a pacifier is stuck in the mouth of the child, to stop the development of common sense and suppress the natural inclination of the child, into learning suppression of self as sensing what is here physically.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is not the dirt of this earth that is dirty, but the pollution placed into this earth by men, and the suppression through limited ideas  geared to serve in self interest in and as morality of what is good and what is bad , right and wrong, dirty and clean, etc.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I take the time to look at my own morality, I will see, realize and understand that it is a collection of values of different colors only, a maintenance of borders in separation from life, ideas, beliefs and opinions that support survival within divisions of more than and less than, where what is in combat is this morality in separation from life, and thus the competition to survive is the face of inequality, the illusion as the mind and not self here one and equal with how this physical world functions, thus do we not even understand ourselves as mind, and having made this mind idol ( idle in judgement) have we, the human, accepted and allowed singularities in separation from the whole, as secondary action  the primary directive, a relationship, a relative ignorant of the absolute, that which is real this physical world that is here built of the substance of life, of which we are all, that which is the value, that which supports and gives freely as what is life, where we the human need to stand and become one and equal to what we are, life, to become this, in and as the principle of give as you would like to receive.


I commit myself to stop the words coming out of my mouth, a mouth trained from the crib to suck on a pacifier, to spit out this plug and to stand in common sense one and equal to this physical world, to speak the words of equality, as what i am, to become equal to what I am, as what is here supporting me, giving freely, the substance of life.
I commit myself to asking the question, is this what is best for all, will this in fact support all life on this planet.
I commit myself to realizing that all morals based on what is more than and less than within family traditions must be looked at to see if they are protection defense borders or what serves all life, considers all life equally, as what is best for all.
I commit myself to realizing that if all pacifiers were removed from this earth, once the reactions as addiction wore off, what would become of the human, would they start again in common sense of what is here?
I commit myself to speaking up to and towards placating words of authority with the words that the only choice is what is best for all, as this is common sense again and again and again until this is heard through the storm of separation that is of no substance as it does not support life, as life is the value of which we are all equal and one in and as.






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Saturday, August 25, 2012

Day 129 Morality Character


Day 129

Today I was driving in my car when I sensed this rigid “stance” of myself, in judgement of myself, it was, as being inferior, as though another judged me as being rigid, as being too full of morality as the defenses I have been taught in the guise of being cultured, where the individual developments of what is cultured and not, are simply stages of development on a continuum, something all should have, something that reveals the capacity for development, and thus what we as humans are able within, even indicating how much we do not know, and the limitations existent within the forms as systems of development that is in essence not developing each and every one of us.,This is how I saw myself, I judged and this is judging me, as me being less than me, as this is what I fear, and I judging am being indignant. The morality play based on limitations, or as I like to say these days, an endgame, the taking of what is here and going into defense through combat, in hiding from another where fear hides the fact of a non sequitor, as energy takes over, a desire as a belief, opinion and idea, perpetual want and need, the illusion as all is right here,  accepting here, is all that is needed, as simple as this.
Going into a non-sequitur is going into hiding. Braking the conceptual ability of self as life and choosing fear and blocking communication, blocking communion as life, stopping the flow of self as life expression. 
This bothers me, to let something, to let two people not be together because of lack of communication and a morality hiding being-here, simply being here.
A mass of beliefs based on values selected without an understanding of the totality of existence, life being lost to what actually substantiates and choosing a veil where lies are slowing down one’s self into a mirage based on fear.
The veil is the storm of separation.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that when I go into insecurity and fear I cling to the veil of my own separation.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my access to a morality in relation to measuring myself against another, is a rigid line of defense, in and as judgement to create a positive judgement of myself in relation to another and to ignore my own fear of loss, this being an idea in separation from life and not what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge anther based on manners and an inability to be direct, as this is what I am myself in fear of becoming vulnerable as speaking up as myself would mean stepping into rejection, a memory from childhood as I did not know what I am/was and was given no direction within the development of the substance of myself as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that all can be seen.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge another based on their development.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have any thought, to have any momentary belief that I am more than another, as this will not and cannot direct what is here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to not have realized this moral defense code as what it is, a separation from life, as it is a defense and not what is in consideration of what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop when I become this, and to breath, and as well, to instead of judging, look at what I am as this moral defense code of supposed ethics, and to take the principle of what is best for all, in hand and forgive this back chat as line of defense, and utilize what is directive and substantive and stand, even if I fall, until I am able to stand one and equal as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how my “moral compass” is in self interest and not in the interest of life as what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I feel disgust, I am in essence in disgust of myself, as what is here is me, one and equal and thus what is best for all, is to realize the being of myself in a combat suit of moral superiority as being self defense in separation from what is here as this physical world, that which is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to step into a character of morality, filled with value judgements of more than and less than, instead of actually practically looking at what is here as life, as this physical world and directing myself within what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand, how the tunnel vision of the mind, separates me from what is here, from what is real as this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in becoming a moral compass in self interest I cast shadows of ignorance upon this earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that  remaining in and as breath, I can breath beyond the limited space of this moral compass, and direct within and as myself with and as what is physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize and understand that I actually have little awareness of myself as a physical being.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to actually realize how that previous thought made my left thigh ignite a small web of needles within the flesh, and fuck, I just judged myself, which is to say I have just blamed myself for my own ignorance.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that any moment of blame is not a moment of self direction.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how such a moral compass can lead to bitterness, as the back chat of the mind will judge and become bitter, that self within such morality will become a belief that no one sees what this moral compass sees as what is a value that is superior, where there might be insight within this, yet the totality of this system has not been understood within being a system that does not support development in and as the human in becoming an expression of life, and thus one and equal to life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the human has no idea of its capacity to become aware of this physical world, as this has never been developed, even perhaps developed to some extent with a few, very few at that, what would happen if all of mankind were developed to their full physical potential in common sense of this physical world? Would mankind become man kind to one another, instead of a defensive moral compass?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, that my own moral compass is a shield, hard and brittle, that requires the substance of myself as life to be maintained, and  thus is my accepted and allowed separation from life, and thus from here - as what is here is life as what I am in substance, and this one and the same as all that is here.


I commit myself to recognizing my own tunnel vision in and as the culture of my past as my moral compass in separation from oneness and equality here.
I commit myself to breathing, to taking all judgements as slings and arrows created by self and thus separating self form equality and oneness here, back into self, realizing this is a protection defense mechanism, and breathing through the fear as my survival suit, as this suit is of substance in separation from here, able to be brought back to self, and to direct myself as what is best for all here.
I commit myself to stop, when I realize I am becoming a moral compass in separation from life, and I breath and I allow myself to realize the storm of emotion, thought and feeling cannot affect me unless I accept and allow this, as this storm of energy has not substance, and is in separation from life, and thus is unacceptable.



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Friday, August 24, 2012

Day 128 Wanting to belong.


Day 128 The character of wanting to belong
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to belong to anther person
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to belong
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be in longing
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the stories and images of the mind are a line of separation in that they are of wanting to belong to something in a belief that one is lost, one is in separation from being, as one is not being, one is being a longing for in and as the dream as the pictures in and as the mind.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the limitations of the mind, as beliefs, opinions and ideas, a construction of singularities, is the divider into a partial existence where a sense of what one belongs to, the physical, is separated and thus the illusion of separation is all that the action of the mind, as image, is, made so huge within a system of conditioning fear, as inequality, as survival and competition, that what is created is combat instead of oneness and equality to what it is that we are as who we are, where the separation is into a fantasy as mind as imagery and not a sense of what is actually physically here, thus the illusion is of needing to belong, as we are here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting to see, realize and understand that I came into this earth, as a child all ready to belong to this physical world and yet the directives that were taught were of separation into and as ideas, beliefs and opinions that separated instead of directed myself into and as myself as all as one as equal, as awareness of life, that which I am, and thus that which I am one and equal to.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the dream of longing is just that, a dream, an alternate reality, a separation, used within a profit based system to divide and conquer life so that a few may live their dreams in comfort while another third of this world starves and another third barely has enough to sustain themselves and exist in a state of physical diminishment all of which is a crime and ignorance of life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that should I walk the desteni i process, I will begin to see, realize and understand that the imagery in and as the mind, of a desire to belong, an imposed want, I will realize that I am humpty dumpty and it is only I who can put the pieces back together again, the am I aware that I have created myself in pieces and am separate from the whole as myself as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am a beggar of my own doing, in allowing and accepting the images of the mind as what is real, and thus become a beggar in a world of abundance, where this longing is the illusion as what is here is life as the substance of what I am, and thus I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in separation and thus only need forgive myself back to myself as life, as what is here, as what is real.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that thoughts, emotions and feelings are my separation and not my directive as life, and thus, must I speak the words of forgiveness and self correct what I have accepted and allowed, to realign myself back to myself as life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand , that I am here.



I commit myself to breath.
I commit myself to realize my separations are nothing to fear, as they are myself here.
I commit myself to removing my survival suit composed of thoughts, emotions and feelings, a suit unnecessary, a suit that is the construction into and as separation from myself as life, and to bring all of my emotions, thought and feelings back to myself, to actually stand naked as life, here, one and equal to life as what I am here, as what life is, within the principle in alignment with life, the principle of “give as you would like to receive.”
I commit myself to becoming a reed sounding life, the principle of oneness in equality, here.




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Day 127 Standing vulnerable


Day 127
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being vulnerable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being placed in a vulnerable position.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing reactions within becoming vulnerable, meaning that speaking up as myself would mean exposing myself, meaning taking the pose of myself within expected character responses out of the equation and allowing myself to speak up.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear what allowing myself to be vulnerable might bring.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as within so without, and thus within this, the responses in confusion and anger are myself, and thus must be walked in the same manner through consequence and forgiven to and towards what is here as what is best for all, as what is physically real and not in separation as thoughts, emotions and feelings in and as the mind, as the mind is the indicator of where self fears becoming a directive principle of what is best for self.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that just as I within and as myself must accept what I have accepted and allowed as emotions, feelings and thoughts, and thus allowed myself to begin the process of realizing my own emotions, feelings and thoughts are indicators of my accepted and allowed separations, so must I realize this for what it is in others, and thus allow myself to be vulnerable within facing separations from what is physically real and  hear the justifications as fear of self as life for what they are.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that in avoiding becoming vulnerable I hold a belief that I am less than the thoughts, and emotions and feelings of others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  fear my own reactions in the face of allowing myself to become vulnerable.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my fear is a laziness and a procrastination in and as my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that all I am facing is/are storms in teacups and not what is physically practically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that it is only ego that fears being exposed within becoming vulnerable, and ego is fearing the loss of a belief, opinion and idea.


I commit myself to realizing that in becoming vulnerable I face the storm head on, and within this that nothing can be lost as I give myself to the storm of emotions, thoughts and feelings and walk within the principle of what is best for all, as this is life.
I commit myself to realizing that the storm of emotions, thoughts and feelings clouding the atmosphere/at most fear of this earth can only be dispersed through forgiveness and directed through corrective application as and within the principle of what is best for all is best for self, and all that does not support what is best for all is not what I am as life.
I commit myself to forgiving my past as it is not what is here.


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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Day 126 Don't tell me I can't - Character


Day 126 Don’t tell me I can’t character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the “don’t tell me I can’t character
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that the truth of this is realizing that in telling me “I can’t” is something to be looked into, yet being a reaction in and as becoming aggravated that I must accept that something cannot be done, instead of looking in common sense at the situation, following through and understanding how all that is, is here , as this physical world works, this reaction is of energy and thus separation into and as non-looking, and thus the impetus to question is not the problem, it is the reaction as ego in wanting to prove the thing being said as “not being able to be done” is other than the statement made .
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that sometimes the thing that supposedly “cannot be done” will take time, and by this time, the one having made the statement of the thing judged as “not being able to be done”, will not even remember having made the statement, or deny having ever made such a statement, thus in wanting to prove something can be done, then bears no witness that it was ever said that it could not be done.
lol
So, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a reaction towards a statement that states that something “cannot be done.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the opposition and combatant  to a belief that something cannot be done.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compete, and thus to go into war, into combat, to be combatant with words instead of one and equal to what is said within practical common sense, considering within the words as what is said and allowed to be formed,  and to direct this substance as life, as words within the principle of what is best for all, as what supports all life, as life, as this that is what we as earth are, as substance, one and equal.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the litany of fears around the suggestion that something cannot be done to exist,  where one will run into possible doom and gloom scenarios that one cannot possibly solve as one is not there within the situation to actually solve and walk what appears as a mountain from a distance, magnified by fear and an alternate reality as the mind in fear of loss and death.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become emotional to and towards the statement that something cannot be done.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into blame and spite to and towards a statement of something not being able to be done.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine what can be done about the thing that is believed to not be able to be done, instead of practically walking with what is physically here and within an imposed system of inequality, to walk what is best for all into and as what exists in this earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become willful in accord with ego, and thus when I see myself becoming a singular drive as wanting to win, as being indignant, which is an endgame of blame, I stop and I breath and I bring myself back to myself and I realize myself here as life, as what is without is one and equal to me, and I sometimes stumble, but I walk within the principle of what is best for all is best for self here, no matter what.

I commit myself to realizing energetically when I separate from myself here, when I am no longer hearing what is of this world, physically, and I breath and I direct myself within the principle of what is best for all.
I commit myself to breathing and slowing myself down, to not get caught up in my own creation of characters and personalities as my survival suit in separation from myself here as life, this suit where I allow myself to become a moral judgement of right and wrong, of more than and less than, of better and worse based on values that support survival only within a system of profit that does not consider life, as what has been made god is money as the means of survival in denial of a physical world that is the very expression of give as one would like to receive, as it has no signature of ownership this earth, where my accepted and allowed characters in self interest are the very manifestation of the abuse that exists on this planet in ignorance if what is best for all, as the nature of the physical forms existent on earth, as the characters i accept and allow are personas of survival in combat, interested in survival and acting in competition for this survival where interest is not invested in life, where all that is here is one and equal as life, as the substance of what is here is life.
I commit myself to deleting all pictures in and as my mind, that are of an alternate reality, as they are not one and equal to this physical reality as what is actually physically here, as this is what is real, and not the fairy tale in and as my mind.
I commit myself to realizing that blame leads to nothing but discord with the substance of life here, as it believes what is here is in separation from self, when what is here is one and equal to self, as it is of the same substance.
I commit myself to breathing when I find myself judging myself, as I am not here within practically moving myself within and as what is best for all.
I commit myself to breathing, to becoming aware of my human physical body, to removing emotional polarities that are myself in separation from myself here as life,  myself in combat, competing for survival, to stop what has been accepted and allowed as separation into and as a mind of conjecture and projection ignorant of what is real, as can be seen in a world that has a system where the thing that is real is what is controlled, thus is it clear that what is real, is what is controlled with turning freely given resource as earth into an imaginary god as a piece of paper given value in separation from life, creating a world of abuse, where best practices are denied as this would bear no profit for the few, as what is best for all is best for self; health being an example, a healthy person can make no profit, and as this system knows how to develop healthy race horses, and tests on animals for indicators of human health - or disease- thus is it clear that it is known what creates a healthy human, and thus are we, the humans allowing and accepting the disease, in favor of profit, on this earth, this earth that gives freely, where there is no honesty in the actions of men for life, as what is god is money as money has been allowed to determine who lives and who dies, and how those who live, live within limitations of perception and physical development within the potential of the human to become one and equal to life here, to be the caretaker of life, instead of a char-actor, as a piece of burnt up grey charred action into a death  of never having realized self as life here as self as life is in combat to serve a pyramid of profit.
I commit myself to realize that the mind quantifies through categorizing incessantly in a vain effort of survival, in separation from what is here, a capacity to see and realize that the value is life, and that each and everything on this planet is of the same substance which is life, here.
I commit myself to realize the actions of myself, in and as separation, when I react as wanting to win, in and as being reactionary within and towards a statement that something cannot be done, where I will lose myself in separation from what is physically actually here as I am accepting and allowing myself to take my eye off the eye of the needle in and as the principle of what is best for self is best for all, and righteous indignation is not a directive of resolution but an action of combat, and only the sounding of discord in separation from equality.
I commit myself to realizing that nothing can be lost unless I accept and allow this.
I commit myself to realize, as I did years ago, that the demons of separation cannot touch me unless I accept and allow them, as I am life, able to exist as life, as this is what I am, as life is the principle of allowing self to be what is best for all, to give as one would like to receive, which in the present profit based system, means changing this system until this is what exists in fact, through an Equal Money System, to begin to clean up this system of separation from life.
I commit myself to utilizing the gift of life, to becoming one and equal to my human physical body.
I commit myself to becoming and being the only choice, oneness and equality, here, one and equal to life here.

Creation's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life


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