A subtle tension in my jaw. Day 872

 I was chatting with others when suddenly a construct, an internal " form" appeared, or was uncovered within me.

I have had a sense of movement or " heat" in my thighs and a subtle tension between my shoulder blades. For the past few days I have been more aware of this movement, but have been unable to define it, to pin point it and to name it. Some self forgiveness around older points have helped but it appears to remain in some form of suspension, as though it hovers in the flesh.

I watch my reactions when interacting with others. 

I notice moments of calm and directiveness. I am also more aware of what I exist as, as a focus. I notice when I am unaware of the world around me, and that sense of the togetherness of all things. 

I am also aware of a deep fear of the mind itself, which manifests as a fear of confrontation, a fear of being exposed and a sense of being overwhelmed within communicating all of this to others, even casual meetings with the world around me, as the greater society around me. 

What supports me is to remember that internal constructs of the focus of many, including myself, and that this is able to be directed in ways that consider all things, that realize the interconnectedness of all things. It is all like a piece of music with alternating themes that are sometimes of a counter point that appears unreadable, but at the end of the day, it is all readable, as we are the stuff of creation itself. That which is covered in layers of ideas, beliefs and opinions, that distract one from a sense of the commons that is the physical flesh. What is scattered thin-king? What is industrialization but compartmentalizing focus leading to fractionalized systems lacking all connection to one another in awareness. Would that not generate resonant bubbles of limited values? Would that not lead to disease as the internal road maps are separation from the rhythm of the flesh itself, that means of our expression as life? 

This tension in my jaw has to do with communication. It is a constriction as a fear of being able to communicate. It is a belief that doing the math is impossible. And yet the time lines of separation are a construct and have patterns and sequences that are recognizable, and the means to walk through such geometric fabrics is doable. And the principle of balance, stability, equilibrium are here in plain sight. Like a sense of absolute purpose. One might see such a thing in a carpenter bee, for example. A soundness of absolute purpose, seemingly fundamental and yet of a focus that is clear and incredibly directive overall. Does " soundness" have a stable quality that is at the same time the most gentle of things?

 Appears to be a contradiction, from a mind consciousness perspective probably so.  And yet, once again,  there is a point where a focus happens that is of one seeing one's own constructions directing one's behaviors. In such moments a person is in reflection rather than in reaction. Does one master moving into this " stance" ? Is one able to recognize it and pull on the strings in such a way that this state of focus is the movement in a moment? If one is able to do something once, one is able to do it again. My motto from experience. 

The tools are here and are able to be practiced. The depths of separation are able to be walked, able to be discerned and directed, self discovered and realigned to restore a sense of the togetherness of all things. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing the depths of my own separation from being in a consideration of all things.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear a construct of separation, a construct of limitation, a construct of rejection of who and what and where and how and why we are here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to run away from a shadow of directives building within me, that I realize are building within me, and that I attempt to run away from, not seeing realizing and understanding that such things are able to be deconstructed and aligned with the togetherness of all things, as that sense of a wisdom of the togetherness of all things that is here in plain sight and is that which is creation itself. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear a mind consciousness system, which is a state of separation from life itself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that the time-lines of inflamed values as protections and justifications for a state of separation are able to be deconstructed and directed into realizing the togetherness of all things that is creation that is here all around me as life itself. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something is impossible.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the practical and simple application of and as letting go of hiding from who and what I am and that within that it is possible to deconstruct that which separates and divides and confuses, to restore being aligned within the realization of the interconnectedness of all things as life as the physical as this earth here. 

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that nothing is able to define me but what I accept and allow.

I commit myself to slowing myself down and realizing I have the tools to walk facing constructs of separation, where such a movement is really about allowing self reflection to deconstruct that which separates one from realizing a knowingness of the togetherness of all things. 

I commit myself to allowing joy, as allowing a full expression of and as always directing in ways that allow a self discovery of the time-lines that suppress a natural ability to remember the interconnected ness, or the togetherness of all things, as this is in plain sight. 

When and as I find myself tensing within my jaw area, or constricting within my flesh, I stop and I breath and I realize the power of asking questions and telling stories to allow a sense of reflection that in turn allows a moment to self reflect and walk through a veil of spiraling symbols generating a time-line of deflection from allowing the self to realize a movement that discovers and directs awareness of self as life here. 

When and as I find myself tensing up, within my flesh, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself way way down, and I ground myself within the realization that what is here is myself in another life, and as that realize the tools of and as self forgiveness, and self correction within and as opening a sense of pattern recognition where one is able to sense an absence of embracing a natural ability to live self responsibility as life itself.

When and as I find myself in a projection as a time-line of belief, I stop and I breath, as the time line is of and as a sense that moving through limitation and the reactions of deflection into blame and spite as simply a state of separation from a loss of self as life overall, as the absence of realizing the soundness of the togetherness of all things.