Day 819 A beautiful understandable design.

I have been listening to how people speak in terms of how they frame description. 

I have a friend who has no eduction, though he can be handy with tools and getting physical work done. When he comes to tell me about something in his life, it becomes a very long story. I realize as I listen, that because he describes it all as “ then he said, and then she said, and then he did,” it takes a moment for me to frame what he sees as relationships of conflict and mis management within the scenario. To see if I understand his perspective, I usually do a summary afterwards. I use words such as spiteful, resistant, embarrassed. He says yes or no, or sometimes, tells the whole story again. He sees the actions between things as the emotional reactions. He does not call the movements out by name, he describes all the reactions between people.

Today, I was at a local service center for my mother’s cable company.  I had had a problem signing in and ordering something. I said a pop-up window had asked for something and then disallowed my action. The response from the service desk people was this long explanation that did not use qualifiers, but instead told a visual example through describing this long example. I found myself becoming impatient. I realize I did not want to listen to this long dramatic description. I cut the conversation short, drew another picture using words, that was short. One of the two women said no to my response and the other agreed. One realized I did a summation, and the other could only relate to a long story of cause and effect. As I walked to my car, I realized I often reacted to that level of conceptual ability that told long drawn out stories about something to describe a “ why” of something etc. .

I have read a lot of novels in my life. I got to a point in my late thirties where I could no longer read them. They were like some pieces of music I have performed. The gamut of their range was somehow very limited. I had become acclimated to the patterns and they no longer went beyond a certain boundary. Though all I could say about them was that they were of the same “ measure.” In a way, that was me being what I perceived others to be, I was as limited in recognition of myself in my conceptual ability as that woman in the store who could only see through her way of describing something. 

I recently read something that said the more petty talk about other people all of the time, the less petty, by degree, begin to talk about events, and then one begins to move into recognition of both, and moves into problem solving, or realizing relationships and finding what is of even more expedition in creating. 

This is also like music, because one moves from the simple structures and begins to realize patterns and then tightens up those patterns to create something, see the starting point and the ending point, as some would say. I would call this orchestrating.

I have been studying things about cells, and the interrelations of cells in the body. From high school I had pictures only of hexagonal chemical structures. I have read about things on a limited basis through the years, so I am somewhat beyond a 101 level, but not much. I realize as I expand on this study, that it is the same movement, that growth in recognizing patterns and seeing things in another light is that of a greater conceptualizing ability. This becomes a momentum that has the nature of wanting to expand to basically “ hear the tune.” It is a natural desire to understand, to hear the symphony, to see the beauty in the design, to stand equal to the awesomeness of a functioning thing. I had ONLY an image of proteins, for example, as the standard geometrical shapes with single bonds and double bonds, etc., I did not realize I could see them as ribbons of building blocks one could call carbon snowflakes. On another level, this reveals the extent to which humans being have been dumbed down. It is extensive. We basically have no idea what our present medical “ health” system is offering as an item to sell, with us as the resources in an economic design that moves towards power, gathering the profits in self interest, that is an ignorance of the resource as the most amazing design that is what is supposedly sought. It is such a magnificent design that that design and the means thereof, is the real power! That “ power” is of such beauty that one could but not want it for each and every one at the same time! That is how it is so amazing!  

If I am at times conceptually what I would call “ tighter”- in this context -  in my description in relation to another, I must realize where they are at, and use the same means. It may require being of a tighter conceptual ability, with some dramatic description. At other times, it may require more dramatic description and less conceptual tightness. This could vary by degree in any situation. It would also mean that some would respond to being more conceptually tight, because it would sound like a new kind of music that was a clearer compound of information- something like seeing a master work. Basically, this living physical reality is that “ tighter conception” in its intrinsic harmony and seeking of balance. One must recognize the means of perceptual ability a person had in relation to this reality and speak that, because it is one of those situations where “ all roads lead to Rome,” as they say. The natural desire to understand is to realize patterns and see the harmony, and stand with the design and move as it, with it, in joy of the small and the many relationships of that as the sum of the parts is of a awe inspiring design! As anyone might have experienced, well designed things are a joy to watch, to experience, much like watching water falls, or fire burning. 

I also remember an exercise where one closes one’s eyes, and places one's arms above one’s head, and then places one foot on the other knee, balancing on one foot with arms raised above the head. This is easier with the eyes open, because we have allowed ourselves to rely on our eyes more than our other senses. Thus, when one does this with one’s eyes shut, it is not easy. But then again, that shows the extent to which I am not in practice of being present in my own WHOLE body! I wonder if this shows the extent of how much I exist within my head, because the tendency is to lose balance, as though one is in a mind spin ONLY! That would mean that I am not being like a tree, stable and able to remain flexible enough to not bend to the resonant spin of an overuse of my imagination and a lack of real focus in this life that is here. After all there is ONLY here. 

I also remember that it has been said that when the words I speak can be recited backwards and will say the same thing, my starting point is equal to my ending point, in a way, as what I have said is complete in itself. 

If I am talking with another, and I cannot remember the perspectives they are using to describe something, than I basically have not really really listened to them, because I  have not HEARD the measure/meter/framing of their conception in how they describe something! If I were really listening, I would be able to relate to the means of their presentation of whatever it was they were talking about and transpose a response to their present means of conceptual ability. Thus, I must realize that one point of being what some might call “ intellectual,” it that I feel threatened if I have to listen to a long drawn out dramatic means of description, because I fear that this will define me as an idea about one level of conceptual ability being more than another, when overall, such is naturally a part of a process of what could be called refinement, or being able to say more with less, and at the same time, saying it in a way, in a “ tight “ way, there that same tightness creates that sense of “ hearing” the form in a clearer way that brings an awe of the beauty of the design of something. I can relate this to an opening of a door into greater insight about something. 

One can forgive one’s self for not being patient, etc., YET, one must also understand a point of conception, to live that patience in a way that leads it into being that which is of great joy, which is “ tightening” of pattern recognition that breeds understanding of the sum of all parts as being an expression of beautiful design. 

I can see where a bureaucracy contains all of this. As one moves up through that bureaucracy, one meets people who are more able to expedite conceptually, and correct in greater detail. And, within this, how one cannot really move up until one is more able to do this. 

It has somewhat the nature of the “ eye-of-the-needle” because one must be able to express more with less, or make a tighter design to fit through what appears to be a smaller opening, when it is not a smaller opening, it is that only a more well composed conceptual ability unlocks the door. But that is awesome, because one cannot pass unless one can answer to the balance that is that greater understanding which means a greater consideration of the composition overall. 

That is so cool and  means it is so doable! 

Overall, this opens another point for me. That other is more of direction. It is to realize, for me as  the point of excitement. I think of qualities in horses, that can move into reaction, into excitement so quickly. Things can be so exciting, which can cross from a place of balance when awestruck with something. I ask myself what is the difference? Should I look at that point of being able to suspend desire to the extent that what is of great design has an eternal quality to it to the extent it is always present and thus there really need be no rush of excitement that crosses into a fear of loss, that leads to chasing something and causing consequences of harm that one does notice but is too caught up in making something a “ more” when that more need not be feared to be lost because it is a constant and in that constancy is so stable the beauty of it is always, in all ways here? 

Day 818 Everything is a system. What is regret, pressure, and " no-force" ?

The issue of regret comes up at times. Yet, regret like procrastination is a distraction if held onto for too long. This becomes a self definition that is about the past, being projected in front of one, consuming the attention of one, that in itself once reviewed, remediated and corrected in terms of what would change a similar outcome in one’s actions, can become in itself a means to realize a state of separation from living. Living means to be here, because this physical creation is what is real, is what remains, is what continues beyond the self. The physical is creation manifest, it shows what works and what does not work. Therefore, attention is here. Doing things manifests here, as the physical. Is it not ironic that religion suggests, because that is all it can do, that there is something more? Being the suggestion of a more, without practical physical, directing focus HERE, is an illusion. One has become a relationship, a relating, to an idea created as built as imaged within. The perfect storm of control. We are happy when we are focused, completely, and doing. This has a movement of problem solving, as one is focused here. Not the best thing to promote if one wants control, or wants to play a god, or guru, or statism. This game is ultimately an illusion. 

Lately, I have had the idea swirling around within me, that instead of having what we call religion, as churches, the form of the state will become a replacement religion. This will be some invisible hand, fist, entity, that passes down determinations that the state workers will then relay, taking no responsibility for a compliance lacking in common sense of living physical reality because some guru/god/invisible-hand voice from some far off “ state” passed a set of words on a page that must be followed, and it is not my fault as I make sure all the lines on a piece of paper are properly filled in. This, a focus in a petrie-dish office distant from what is living. The goal to generate income for that pension, despite the consequences on the ground.  This, overall, an imposed entity construction determining outcomes that someone else somewhere else must change. All the while, this whole thing is made up of people. It is the collective in compliance without common sense that holds such things in place. And, as in Detroit, it can all be taken away, in a moment.  This is the hard way. It need not be this way.  When realized, the regret at following without practical investigation of the “ rulings” as measures embraced and “ handed” down via anonymous notes as words-on-a-page ONLY from a air-conditioned office ( telling in itself , remember petrie-dish environments) is not real living, and will lead to regret, potentially colored with a self pity of and as “ I did what I was told.” If we, each one, wake up, this would not exist, this compliance without investigation. And it need not exist, as I have found that often such words as “ may” are in the documents, meaning it is not suggested that one HAS to follow the dictates of the state. I saw such in the State educational words; basically, the townships can do what ever they want. Of course, the funding may not come through unless one uses the guidelines. If we look, that which is funded, is most probably not what is best. It is similar to the devil smiling. One must be given choice, because that places liability on the bottom, but the caveat is that to get this, which is an “ order” promoted/suggested ONLY, one must comply with the offerings. If one is not in a mode of common sense, and self responsibility, the storm of suggestion appears to be a more. That “ more” though coupled with “ good,” is the illusion that when followed, will lead one down the road of regret. That regret can then become a further distraction from stepping into common sense, the place of real doing, of making the choice to be self responsible, to develop awareness and presence, the kind that lend a direct focus on reality, where things get done, where one finds instead of anxiety, real happiness. This is the place where one discovers a sensibility to create. This is where one really lives, here. Let’s call it here ness, which sounds like hear-ness. This, would engage all the senses. I wonder if one could say that when all the senses are properly engaged, if that “ heart” opens up and begins to flow? Is this that has been hidden in plain sight all along, as simple as the physical body being in a synchronicity of focused engagement that opens up that heart - which spells “ earth.”? Is this simplicity and as such release, in contrast to the emotional/feeling storm of ideas, beliefs, and opinions, as a resonant construct within, something that was always here outside of the anxiety of chaos held in place through this absence of proper use of the physical manifestation of one’s self as life here? I mean, there is nothing wrong with chaos, it is simply a moment of deconstruction and reconstruction, that when done properly, would express a graceful transformation!  As humanity, we have rebuilding to do.

Obviously, perhaps, there are some so far down a rabbit whole of constructed division from real presence, that to justify that means to define the whole through that extreme, is more of the same game. In reality, -most likely, percentage wise - a greater number would choose to change into being present and focusing here, being real as a doing that will lead to happiness. The test of worst case scenario being made larger than life, is a part of an inner resonant storm of ideas. beliefs, and opinions, and will be projected by the “ state” of who stands to lose such ideas, beliefs, and opinions holding a currency of more for them at the expense of life. We are happy when we are focused and creating, and unhappy when we are not. Survival is a game of surreptitious vivacity, or superstitious seeming vivaciousness that is like a bling of a more, when that is the means of separation from being present, utilizing one’s common sense, which is sensing here. If we are able to read resonant shadows, our sensibilities must be so incredibly awesome, it is a wonder we do not realize that the full employment of them would be fulfilling, and so revealing of the incredible mechanism of creation that is the self equal and one with all that is here, that shows in its very expression that living self.  Just look at children. Before they become limiting personifications of ideas, beliefs and opinions, they learn more quickly, which means they have a greater presence. What is lost is what is more natural. Look to being in a state of urgency. That is like a raging train that can no longer see the total landscape, which is a state of appearing to be moving, but in fact is a slowing down done through accepting definition of limited information. Schools are a raging train. Such can be touted as a good, when in effect, they are the cause of greater attention disorders, which are cognitive disorders, which are mental disorders, which are the fault of the parents, because the parents experience that child before a resonant chaos of ideas, beliefs and opinions, become a projected entity from within, that has lost its presence in reality. I should know, I am a parent. I see the ideas I passed down, through acceptance from my parents, most probably for seven generations. I can blame no one but myself, and must become proactive, instead of allowing such self pitying generations to define this as that is not being the model of being present, of being the change necessary to never allow this to happen again, to not inhibit the potential of sensing the most subtle of things, the living things that are always, here, in all ways.

Real focus is making the choice to always be present, living a movement of constant cross reference to what is here, which is a movement of forgiving one’s self to what is here, respecting this physical reality, because it is life. This is a transformation out of ego, which is a mind consciousness of ideas, beliefs and opinions made larger than all things. If one accepts that state job, for example, one looks here, and only accepts that which causes the least harm - given what has been accepted - before one chooses revenue generation, for example. We all know this, and because of this there is no excuse. One knows when one makes excuses, as it always has the color of regret. That regret compounds, because what we practice, as what we allow, compounds as this is how a mastery of something also happens. One can master denial, or one can master real doing. To master real doing, one remains focused with presence, sensing what is here. Even I can notice a dog that is not moving because I suddenly realize it is blind, and because of the ensuing evening light, has suddenly lost seeing, and perhaps has a slower response time because that dog must learn to employ other senses yet unmastered, and therefor as an appear-ingly delayed response time. This indicates that we live in a huge magnificent orchestrated expression of life, where we are the most prefect math to sense this reality. It is only blocked by resonant ideas, beliefs and opinions. 

Within this, what I have learned is that every limitation of and as this, will be faced, and must be walked through.  And will be faced many many times. Acceptance of that, and one grows in faith in terms of business within this. The limitations no longer something to fear as they are signifiers of that urgency called energy and actually lend solution. We can live without ego. We can live without this resonant inner state of separation from living reality.  The physical is life in expression and what is most real. 

I remember a master cellist telling me that in order to perform in a quartet, one must have absolutely no ego. Otherwise, it cannot be done. And yet, when in real focus, in real doing, as performing, that moment of no ego, when the four are focused and present, is when the greatest joy happens. We are happy when we are focused and unhappy when we are not. Our words must become living words. Each small word redefined, refocused into this living reality, equal and one. 

Have you become a master of blame or a master of self as creator as life? Our words should be natural, as living words. This directing our incredible sensitivity as life, to be focused here, to open our hearts to reflecting creation, as life, as the physical.  It is a focus that has no quality, or value of urgency. It is lacking of the rejection of life, as the weight of regret. Real focus lacks that raging weight of limitation. Focus has its own “ pressure” in relation to what is here as ego. Focus lacks forcing something. We all know this, as we have all had moments of calm and the joy of forgiving that is that allowance of discovery. We need only employ that to all moments in our lives, to never have regrets because we lived a full employment of life as respecting all things because they are us in another life, by definition. 

Real focus lacks a pressure. It has no “ force.” One can practice that measure of focus, every day, in the small, rebuilding, to position one’s self in hearing here! It is to master the small with correct definition to realize the more complex when it appears as one expands in awareness. Yet, one must realize one’s separations and practice walking the deconstruction of them, to realize the patterns one has mastered as that resonant storm of ideas, beliefs, and opinions, and at the same time, embrace a natural ability to focus here and learn, which is the expansion of one’s awareness as the self as life. 

Day 817 Inner constitution. What superstition am I allowing within ?

I remember a moment, standing in front of a classroom of 4th graders, asking the question as to how I can rebuild from what existed. I knew it had to do with sound and words, yet the details of what that in itself implied needed greater specificity. 

Our personalities are built of accepted and allowed measures. We create what is of a technology, and we know this because there exists the term “ techno colored dream coat.” We do know what we have accepted and allowed, and we realize how we have built such. Things that are built, happen through the ordinary, and become our motivational actions, as what comes to drive us, into the extra-ordinary. “ Extra” meaning what is superimposed into this reality by our actions. The word “ extra” added to the word ordinary intensifies the word “ ordinary.”  This intensifier can also mean one has created a superstition on reality, as beliefs, opinions and ideas that are self directions, or self projections - that being what is in effect a superstition. This becomes in itself a distraction. This, to continue, causing conflict and friction with reality, because it is not equal to the measure of the living flesh that is what we are and that is in reality a technology in and of itself. 

In regards to this on the greater stage, we see the use of this in media, through the constructions of sentences and paragraphs as what others speak in the relationships we participate within in our daily lives and what we adHEAR to when we take the dictions broadcast through newsfeed. We realize how much the constructions we speak, as the words we know, are of a mastery of blame and avoidance of taking self responsibility in our actions, or, effective self direction that lends more creative and supportive self direction. What we speak is a math. It is either fantasy which has a quality of superstition to it, or, it is more sound, meaning it lends a directive capacity to focus one into greater awareness that gives the self the practical, ordinary means to accomplish goals with effect. Everything is a pressure, or a more absent quality thereof. Thus, that infamous veil is visible, the suppression of noticing this, is visible in not paying attention to the very quality of this, and instead, focusing in maintaining the superstition. Superstition has a quality, it is not in accord/chord with creation. The matrix is this superstition. It is manifest as the laws of the walls around us that are basically management of superstition! I remember there being some wording by Lao Tzu along the lines of and as, the presence of laws already being a red flag because one has abdicated the self as life as presence and is following a lesser construct of information. 

At some point in my early forties, I could no longer read novels. I would open the books, read a couple of lines, put the book down and say to myself, “ no, I have seen this pattern before.” Somehow, all the books were of a “ band” of a narrow flow of information. I found a biography thereafter and it was more “ real” to me. Fiction no longer served my needs. 

I also, around this time, started to read Kyron. I read this supposed entity for about three months. One might at a party, I suddenly had the urge to go home and read Kyron. I stopped in my tracks, realizing I had become addicted to a set of words by some other worldly being. That was an automatic red flag. From that day onward, I stopped reading Kyron. This was myself emerging from the matrix in some way. I had already asked the question as to how to rebuild the children. How to get the words in without pictures. How to clean up the notes, to HEAR/here with greater precision. In other words “ What the F&*K was going on!” At times I must remind myself of this, because the soup of superstition, of my own acceptances, seeps in once again. Actions of Re-membrence help me to ground myself out of the storm of superstition that is of a narrow focus into a limited story that is visible in its absence of real and living creativity. 

It is still story, as constructs of information. It is still creative, but of something that uses the life force, so to speak, yet is a para-site of that life force. It has no real staying power, meaning no real creative power. It is like a vortex sucking the life out, fractionalizing creation. It is the “ pursuit of happiness” rather than the embrace of what is more natural, as happiness. We are happy when we are focused and unhappy when we are not. We are lost to ourselves when we are stuck up in our heads, and not grounded in reality, being in consideration of all things, utilizing our senses in accord with this living breathing creation that is physical. The acceptance of “ that is the way it is” is a part of this program of separation called ego. 

To rebuild, is done the same way, it means walking the ordinary into the extra-ordinary, which means breathing, slowing down, living corrective actions that ground and focus one here, in respect of all things. The manipulations are done through small actions of acceptance and allowance. Rebuilding to align to life, to live a natural state of happiness, means to accept sequences of actions that focus one here, that build into a focus that can hold an accepted and allowed superstitious state of separation AND the choice of presence in this living reality. Then can we and will we change our inner constitution to be the living words of and as rejoicing in a natural state of happiness. Because we become this within ourselves, as allowing what is normal, there will be no need to have a worded document stating what our constitutions must be. And, the constitution we have, in America, at present, will no longer be worded in and as a subtle manipulation, as the words “ the pursuit of happiness” thereby building a perpetual state of seeking happiness, which is in itself a distraction from life, as allowing and accepting that state of separation into limited story that is of a belief that happiness is separate from who and what we are. The nature of life is creative, is of a quality that balances, that tales/takes the good and does no harm, that considers all things. This is what is normal, the rest is superstition. 

                                             Be Yourself !

Day 816 Writing out where I am at.

There must be a point of closing a gap between meeting one’s zone of proximal development or path of least resistance, within what is essentially a narrow band of memorized and practiced information. Such point of real presence can be lived in every moment, in every breath.  Mistakes compound as well as what is a more correct action, as our movements accumulate and automate. The practice of real presence, of and as a greater knowing from having developed a real presence and respect of creation, here, must also be present as a cross reference that is of real balance, and this having a quality of awe and joy. Therefore there really is no such thing as criticism and we are all sensitive as the very means of this!  When, if I look at nature and what I have discovered in relation to the native plants surrounding me, I realize the gamut of taste, of qualities within eating what is considered by today’s mass monocultural food industry,  that the qualities of “ weeds” have a greater depth, much like a the layers of paint in mastery of movement in creating a painting: one has a larger gamut of measure and therefor sees greater living qualities, and can produce a more specific work.

An example of this overall is from when I allowed my children and a friend to open a gallery in my living room one summer. The three artists that hung work attracted different people. What was most revealing to me, as my own reaction, was the one student who was more on the beginner level. They painted simple imagery, of, for example, a vase with simple flowers. A very rudimentary picture. One man came in went straight towards that picture, not seeing the other images. He bought that simple vase, done by the beginner, because that was where he was at, that was his idea of a pleasing image. It fit his gamut of ideas, beliefs and opinions. This is not a bad, it simply is what it is. Even within this, there is room for insight, as some of us are geniuses once a year, and others perhaps more than once a year, yet we are all genius! That part of ourselves is more of our potential self, it is who we really are. NO ONE can give this to ourselves but ourselves. Which is awesome. If we look, in reality, we don’t really want someone else to give it to us! Self discovery is what life and living is about! Creating with respect of what is best, is in itself, real freedom.

Yet, the point in all of this in correspondence to the “ weeds” and our eating habits is, for me at the moment, a reflection of the narrow band of information we exist as from the present system that is here through the acceptance of this narrow band, or accepted frequency that is of limited information that is superimposed on reality, through the device of salt and water as our physical bodies ( I mean why are television ads so repetitive ! And, what is being souled/sold/practiced? )  - so to speak. This acceptance  creating this projection of imagery come to be a norm is yet in reality a habituation that causes mis-takes in movement and expression of that means of being creative and present in all things. It is this place of all things, being in respect of it, which is the physical reality around us, that the degree of qualities in the living world around us, is of so much more, or, of great abundance, that a moment of breathing and living with what is here, can open this that is more natural up. One must begin to realize the depth of the state of separation, as the resonant projection of and as energy from thinking, and instead to choose to become more stable and present in all things that is of a greater abundance. The focus demanded of that equality and oneness with this living reality, would naturally be of a state of greater peace, because one must be focused, which is where we are most able to be and utilize a greater haptic ability in each small movement and act. That state of focus, which has an absence of the emotional pressures, built of energy created from thoughts of value judgements causing a distraction that becomes an imagined narrow band of focus, resonant within. Focus here, the self here, being present has less pressure, from a certain perspective. Even the chemistry of the body would act differently! Being focused in this way, lends greater joy, and opens more discovery.  To slow down and practice that state of focus, allows one to realize greater patterns around one, as a greater focus ability opens discovery.  It is in the end all a math! Everything is therefore a system!

Our so called “ weeds” have a greater depth of flavor, of color, of touch, of qualities. Thus, our “ weeds” reflect the abundance that no longer exists in our monopolized agricultural food industry. This same aspect must exist in many of our acceptances come to be considered a norm and habituated.  Since we are programmed to remain within that gamut/ band of color/flavor/quality,  and it is a foundational program that has been systemized over generations by those who came before us, that one could say, creeps up on us, without us realizing the limitations of that, and how it automates as habit at the expense of the greater whole, reflects the degree of an absence of real focus in reality within so many of our actions. It is really astounding!  Everything is a system, even a system of systemized limitation, or narrow focus on selective qualities held as imagination and thus distraction from reality can be of a resonance within. And yet, we will not find happiness until we  are equal and one with all things, being focused here, which has a quality of peace, which lends a balance of a more gentle soundness manifest as our behavior. And, here, this would have a more haptic quality, as we would be of a focus here that allowed a more correct simple action in every moment! This is where we create, which is more natural. Would that not be the moment revealed in such statements as a moment of being a genius that is actually within each and every one of us as the life that is us ! Within this, and in great simplicity, would this not be what being the living word would mean? 

Day 815 Seeing through the cracks of con-sciousness.

I notice that our systems, that function under the guise of good, without specificity on how the “ good” is implemented, function backwards I some ways, from this perspective I offer here in this moment. 

With taxes, having done them and knowing someone that is engaged in them professionally, that the people working in the system do not know what they are doing. The ones that begin to realize the structure with greater detail, end up leaving the government system and working for themselves, because they earn a higher wage. Even I have been sent a tax letter that is a construct that reveals such busy work, and of which one has difficulty in engaging with a human being within the system, and if one does all they do is read from the book, one begins to notice that the little ones that compose the system, do not know the system themselves. And yet, the system is and was created by men. I suppose when something is not working as it should, it hides. And the ones that created it, create some invisible hand other than the self,  to blame. And so, gods are created, the entities to hold all the blame. 

In my town, health and conservation rules are side stepped for the individual supposed “ greater good” of revenue generation for salary rather than for the environment.  A agent will send an associate for a write up about a property that moves beyond a general statement of bedroom numbers even when the building is no longer inhabitable, and already a non-conforming structure, because that agent does not want to lose the bedroom numbers as her salary depends on bedroom numbers. Ignore that the property is very small and close to the water table, because such considerations cause one to not get the prize of revenue generation. A health and conservation agent ignoring all aspects, like the conservation of the natural world we cannot live without. 

It takes some time, in this system of already separating children from the natural world and from a consistent interaction with a variety of age groups, to notice the systemic structures as what they say they are and what they behave as in their small movements. Separating children into same age groups,  at a very young age, is a means of already limiting exposure to the greater whole. On the other end of the spectrum, the elderly are sequestered into mostly being with that same age group, not to mention one gets used to being in a narrow focus of interaction, making it difficult to change. Yet, there is greater and greater disease.  Perhaps, that disease has something to do with being placed in what could be called isolation chambers via social constructs. Then one becomes an agent in a municipal office and only reads one aspect of something, always through the lens of accumulating money instead of respecting reality.  If we are a sequestered society, we become an ignorant-of-the-whole of life, which would look something like being zombies if one stood looking in from the outside. This is why we make movies about zombies, because sometimes we see through the cracks. It is that we are funneled networks yet at face value say we are a community, but in effect we are not. 

I wonder why we study chemistry at the end of grade school instead of at the beginning. I wonder why facing the building committee comes after health and conservation. I wonder why we pay income taxes instead of a VAT tax. I mean a VAT tax would be a way and means to realize what people choose. With the creation of income taxes,  some representative official, that then becomes a career politician, makes decisions in their interest. Naturally, it must become a career because the self interests must be managed. That scenario is no different than a municipal worker ignoring the nature, in the interests of getting as many bedrooms from a piece of property despite lack of balance in regards to the nature around that land. It is all a mis-use of resources. It is abuse towards animals and plants.  It is done with manipulations; man I pull .. in self interest. One must collect a body of other men, to build that emotional fire wall that distracts, the one that should one question or point this out, that body of emotional justifications will fire back. It is a Goliath that really has no power as it is all smoke and mirrors. It is the same in our bodies, as what we allow ourselves in support of that. This does not fit into life and as such, has a consequence, a continuum of inner discordant measure, called disease. A lack of ease. A lack of real presence. I lack of community with life. Look around, it is all around us. It is within as the human. We are either hued men, of emotional and feeling bodies of story disconnected from ourselves as life, or  instead we can choose to be HU-men, as “ hu” means power by some accounts. Our words somehow/ sum-the-how of what we experience as allow, because life-will can only express itself, as does a constant resistance to life, as the image of life is warped, thereby revealing itself in every sound, in every word we speak. We are in deed great at the subtle, because that is the means to separate and also to realize the respect for all things, from the smallest to the largest, the ineffable to the most obvious. And yet, it is all obvious. One need only slow down and look.

I remember in high school noticing that something was in men, something was in the body, the physical body of men, the people around me. Perhaps I had the opportunity to notice this, as I lived in NYC. I was playing a lot of classical music, and I was a reader, and I walked the streets of New York. I was exposed to a momentum that was moving so much around me, and I was building “ reading “ skills, like doing a math, within myself, as languages of words and sound, and my physical body being aligned into what I was doing. Perhaps the momentum of all of this, caused that moment of seeing through a crack and noticing some slight movement in the mankind around me. Something was in “ there” that was thick and dark. I mean, I must not be alone in this, many must have asked this question. I most probably was already composed of belief, that though I noticed this, I had no means, no practice in calling it out, my resonant constructions of a differentiating consciousness, as a layered mind consciousness of associative thinking of and as relationships to limited means, that that moment of seeing through a crack, was a consequence of some means being developed. Around the same time, I met an entity in an apartment. I realized they could not touch me, and that everything I had been told was a lie. Yet, to speak this to the world, meant that the wall would attack, the limited resonant belief systems would start to scream their experience. I was scared to face that, as I was already a part of the system. And I had to survive within this system. That occupied my time. And yet, in time, that point comes back again and again and again. Until one realizes something has to be done, because municipal workers ignoring nature for salary, is not and cannot be a respect of life. What must be done is the realization that in order for life to exist, it must be respected. It is the respect of life that will end disease, and it will end up reversing that wall and deconstructing it to fit back into the landscape of and as life here.

What I have found is that in general people do want to do this. When they understand a means to recompose, the cost is no longer even considered. They are glad to pay. It is a deep way of giving thanks in this system. Once they make this decision, they more relax and are super nice! Yet, it appears to be the opposite from the perspective of ignorance. This, for me, is one of those things that appears the opposite to what it is in reality. 

The other point here, is that one must practice LOOKING and READING what is here. This means moving within one’s self, and rebuilding to get one’s stagnant beliefs moving, to synch back into seeing what is here, catching the patterns of non-looking that are a pressure of resistance. I say pressure of resistance because it is actually hard work to suppress and repress. it is more natural to be at ease, to see directly here. A differentiated consciousness of layers of consciousness, is associative thinking, within a set body of information, which is limited thinking, even if the parts are not “ bad.” It slows down processing or is an ignorance of processing what is happening in plain sight as this physical reality. A resonant layered consciousness is of hyped and tense energy entities as information, as ideas, beliefs and opinions, that distract one from being  a natural presence, and as such upset one’s presence to the degree one “ has something in one’s back.” The joints ache, and the limbs have greater and greater difficulty in bending, not to mention the consequence of a misuse of resources that though touted as having no significant difference, accumulate into a HUGE difference. Mistakes compound just as a correct practice leads to a mastery. Remember it works both ways. We know this.

One could say one must turn the tide. A seemingly impossible thing to do, yet water is forgiving, it can take on what it is directed towards. In this, we are Human. The castle wall is simply a smoke and mirrors show of hued men who have through acceptance and allowance, abdicated their power for a lesser and seemingly invisible god that is only a resonant shadow that will scream its experience, yet that need not define who you are here. 

Perhaps, it would be better to turn everything around and, for example, instead of studying chemistry at the end of grade school, begin with that subject. After all, what are all the romantic fairy tales of social engineering really doing for us? Why do we begin with that narrative/form/sequestering-of-attention?  Those stories that by some accounts are repurposing social norms through role playing as a present supposed “ social warrior” heading, that in itself can never align us with our real natures, and our real purpose which would demand a correct use of a great ability to sense the smallest of things, which fits into the idea of the “ eye-of-the-needle “ that we have been told time and again is the way and the means of getting into heaven. Remember, we were told too bring heaven down to earth. that means focusing HERE. 

Day 814 Polished Hype

Polished Hype

I begin to realize how things are like a piece of music, a form. Something has volume, composed of relationships of interaction. Some can be of an elevated story of information that causes conflict, discord and destruction to parts of the reality on which that form with its multiple volumes rests. The means is a hyperinflation of some qualities that like a wall, or a wave, of and as a form, ignores the consequences as the effects on all that surrounds that metaphysical hype to the extent what is real is rendered invisible. One can hear this in the very words a person uses, as the very song they sing, as what is brought forward to describe in the storied relationships composed into a picture from the glyphs that are words. 

I have spent some time with a person who has had little education. A very capable person. This person has learned to work more with their hands, and has mastered some basic understanding of  simple mechanics. When they come and tell me a story, it takes a lone time for them to frame the picture of their story, as they describe the story through the many actions as the interplay of others involved in the outcomes that caused the conflict that became the story told. 

It is somewhat like hearing a piece of music that has a lot of drawn out embellishment. Like starting at the variations instead of hearing the theme. It is of coming from the attenuation of a theme. The emotional hype, that emotional reaction, is so inflamed to get the whole story means to listen past all the emotional response, the reactions inside the bubble, that in itself is blinging that hype from catching its own theme. It is probably difficult to hold opposing values within one’s self in such drawn out emotions, that this behavior in itself would be difficult to catch. The junctions of reflection are processing huge blown-out-of-proportion reactive values, that the storm of this is rendered invisible. One is existing within a time-lapse. One is out-of-synch with reality because one’s focus has made a drama larger than reality. It is to say one no longer sees the horizon. 

What is really interesting, is that this person appears, and as though I am looking at a piece of music composed of varying pressures, and of moving colors, like a ring around the person, which I likened to the rings of Saturn. Perhaps, because I have learned to read my own shadows of belief, in slowing down to realize the moving eddies of volume and color, that can be extremely subtle within me, that from that living experience within myself, this same is more recognizable in others. Perhaps it is because I was around paint and the use of color, and the use of words, in my early years, because my mother was a painter and my father was a journalist, thus I am a product of my environment. And I studied music. It somehow all comes together that I would end up noticing the whirling eddies of color in a person coming to me with their problems, telling me long drawn out stories through the mode of “ he said, she said.” 

Recently this person appeared with the latest outcome of a situation this person is living out. The moment they walked in the room, what I saw was a swirling ring of a muddy color around them, like a volume in space, a presence of something around them, emanating from them. I realized immediately that they were angry. What is most interesting is that they were acting more happy than usual. I have to say, that being in fear, that being in a state of protection and defense of one’s self would cause one to not be able to see this. If one is so focused on one’s own protections, this would not be visible. And, that seeing this, to a greater degree, is what is normal. Not seeing this is insanity. Herein lies the problem. What is normal, what has become normal, is not normal. We are a society that has come to normalize polished hype. The expense of that is an ever greater weakening of the very trees around us that emit the air we need to maintain that polished hype. That is the irony. 

I had another client that exhibited a pattern, that I needed time to realize myself. They had a younger child who I noticed was extremely engrossed in their imagination. The older daughter had become obsessed with ordering things, I didn't see it at first, but then realized, because of the potential of the human physical body to read the self created muse within, and its relationships of cause and effect without, that the older daughter was the response to the earlier state of an overuse of the imagination. The proverbial pendulum was swinging in the other direction, in response to the child realizing that she needed to come back down to earth and order the things that were here, instead of living the consequences of an overblown imagination. Listening to such measure, to the metrics in the space unfolded a pattern. What inhibited myself from realizing such sooner, was, like a television jumping frames, my own protection mechanisms, probably to ignore all of this, causing resistances to the real song happening in my environment, the volume of which is very very loud when one slows down and begins to look without interjecting one’s own self inner rest. 

I brought up a memory from my childhood, one that I have replayed through the years. It is one of those lived experiences as opposed to knowledge and information only. Yet, those experiences that one has lived, they do not go away. And the mind will scream them, because the mind must scream its experiences, which is why someone will reveal themselves to others, because we can only communicate what we experience. If we practice resistance to looking here, then this will be in the very words we speak. It is always, in all ways visible. Self interest would have an ignorance to this, as I said. 

Thus in this childhood memory, that appears and has this greater detail to it, I am younger than second grade. I am running up to a tree, for some kind of solace. I am aware that there is something following me. While I want to run away, I am also aware that I cannot run away from that which I believe is following me. I sit at the base of the tree and curl up in pure reaction. I have the thought that now this that is following me, will have to move through me, and that I can blame no one but myself. I built it, I played the game, and now the actions that I took are a picture  within me, and must be processed through my body. I just sit there, angry at myself, not wanting to look at this. That is the extent of the memory. Most probably, that which I ran from, that which I had practiced, that which was not yet in total direction of me, came back to rest with me, and I went outside of what was more normal, which was to be on that ground, under that tree, aware of the resonant construction that reflected my accepted actions, and started to become what directed me to the extent I cannot remember the next moment. 

I have come across descriptions of people realizing that they have an inner back chat as voices within, as sounds within, as images which are of sound, within, that appear to haunt them. This sounds just like my reaction to my own shadow I created. I feared that paranormal entity and yet, recognized it as such, and as something that I allowed. I feared facing that. And, just as in nightmares, the imagery of that self created shadow, come up as horror movies because it is a state of separation from reality, to the extent that one knows what one has done. Perhaps, from some scales of something, the combination of exposures and my own inclinations, lead me to see through a crack for a moment, of which every person must have within them in their own unique way. This has to exist. This gap, this jump from real presence and the resonant storm, can be realized. One has to reverse the state of resistance to looking and to being what is natural and normal, as a polished hype is not normal. 

When someone says to me they are intimidated by me, what they are really saying is that they are intimidated by what I am suggesting is happening within themselves, which of course they would be, given the storm of horror, resonant within that one will open up should one make the decision to deconstruct a resonant construct of composed ignorance, as building up defense systems that resist seeing reality, because playing a video game of a limited morality to survive in that that has become prominent, was not something easy to navigate for a small child not yet accustomed to the code, as words, used to express either parts of reality, or the whole story. And, this is why, this state of separation through illusion, must be forgiven. Humans will find happiness in removing their ignorance or releasing the tension of suppressing a natural insight-ability, because that ignorance is a polished hype causing a state of separation from being what is by that same system of separation considered to be abnormal, which ironically the real “normal.”  Go figure and see this for yourself. Breath, slow down and listen to the music around YOU.

Another way to say this is to realize that one cannot clearly see the more complex if one has not mastered the small. The small is the manipulation of sound. For humans that is words. We master our words, the small, and we can unfold what is normal. The more complex cannot be mastered until one understands the small well enough to see its music, or form, or construction with an ease that creates a confidence in practice that allows one to face the unexpected, because the unexpected is always here, as this is the risk of creation, just as learning to walk has risk as one builds awareness into what one is in total, as one’s form and function. 

Overall, the creative ability mis-used to build an inner entity of separation, done through suppression, where one’s greatest strength becomes one’s greatest weakness, shows immense capacity, though mis-placed. That is an irony in itself. Within this, imagine synchronizing back into what is by this present system considered,  touted incessantly, as being abnormal, that is a real “ normal”? It is the castle forcing a false economy that dictates the narrative of the “ good” fairy and the “ wicked” witch. It is the castle of an ignorance of physical and practical reality, as creation, that polarizes through ad hominem and hyperbole.  It is the castle that superimposes expectations through statistics worked out on paper in isolation from reality, and who suppress evidence of causation under the guise of business models too big to fail and an idea that such creates economy- a false premise, or promise, at its inception.  Imagine, for a moment what being in respect of all things would lend within a nature of the self as being of the very substance of creation? At the same time,  look towards removing the defenses to realize the defenses to the extent each helps one another come back down to earth, to bring these entities that are believed to be a “ heaven” back down to earth to exist within harmony here with creation manifest as the physical? I have noticed through this life, that the very nature around me, is, as I said to myself, like a composition of all things coming together, as though all of creation is here, as this earth. This, being a moment of reflection most probably done in a state of calm, of being open as lacking in being caught in a state of fear or ONLY seeing  consequences of fear, as protections and defenses, that are really suppressions and self enforced ignorance, or selective values being made larger than the metric of creation that is the physical. We all know this, because it is so heavily in our face! It is felt in our bodies. It is composed and forcibly heald/held in place as a form of polished hype. 

We become what we practice. It is the persistence in the small that leads to what we create. 

Structure and Pressure Day 813

One of the things I notice within moving into restoring a natural ability to be present in this reality, is the idea of pressure. Meaning, if I can walk into a room and read the people in the room to engage with those I deem “ interesting,” then what I am reading is varying degrees of pressure as holding beliefs and opinions and ideas; which overall is a construct of perception about reality in relation to survival, as what is a “ more “ in terms of defining myself in this one life. 

I am looking at pressure, with my physical body, as being a form of resistance, and as being what I allow as I stand as something, be it a word or an idea. The idea of myself being made larger than the life around me, as I allow this to define who and what I am and forgetting to realize that everything around me is the same as me. Within this I am living in a creation that is a geometry of form, to which I miss if I allow what I define myself as, as being more than this reality.

I can be so self in-volved in my mind, as beliefs, opinions and ideas that I spend my life weaving that in front of me instead of standing equal and one within it as a pressure of values I am in the presence of that is somewhat “ in front of me” as though I am juggling imagery, or I can be self honest and respect this reality, realize the value of it as life, and realize my own resonant belief system that I built, that I allowed according to the culture, the human social environment into which I was born that was of the same. And yet, because of a focus on a practiced as embraced and self built resonant construct, this lead to that limited construct being the motivation of who and what I am. I mean, I PRACTICED THIS with consistency, as what I hold within myself is what comes to motivate my actions, just as a musician practices moving within a certain form to master that movement, creating easy cross reference of that form to the extent a continual cross reference with all aspects of the discipline has motivated effective performance!

In this, the opposite in and of and as self nullification as self derogation can build a personality that motivates resistances to reality, and become reactive every time the outer world does not meet that inner world which is living a protection and defense instead of real present living! The amazing thing about this is that this shows great creative capacity, and the ability to live a full life as one can reflect this reality, and move with and as it, which I believe to be what it means to not only create heaven on earth, but also form a more harmonious life experience - one that in some ways, would have more of an eternal quality. Ego is the distraction from realizing this. It is the dis-ease of not realizing being present in reality. 

If someone were to be more present, within a society of limited moralities as resonant structures that are of a pressure, a weight, as what one carries and stands within and as, then those with greater presence, would be shunned by those caught in a resonant morality that is a construct in separation from that reality which makes that person’s life possible! As has been referenced by Christ, it has been said that to step outside of that social/cultural collective morality, father would be in conflict with the son, and daughter would be in conflict with the mother, the family would be in conflict with those who step outside of a false inner construct of morality, one that is built from environmental practices turned into rituals. That morality a creation of the human, and not a creation that respects all things, taking the good as what does no harm, because one must give as one would receive . It is to forgive this, and refocus and rebuild a relationship to this living reality. It is a physical reality, it is bringing one’s heaven down to earth, to birth self as life, equal and one.

Self honesty blows up the inner morality and sees its detriment to the life that one is.  Self forgiveness of a false and limited morality, that is of a weight, or pressure on the organ as the human body, releases that and aligns it with reality. It corrects its imbalances. 

The problem is that one’s inner resonant construct comes to motivate because it compounds as what one has practiced, even when the consequences are resistances to what would build greater and deeper relationships with this reality. If one’s social network is caught in the borders of a resonant and limited-because-it-lacks-connection-to all-things-mind consciousness system,  it will cause isolation and an inability to connect with anything other than that resonant ego construct. It creates a marker of NOT even being able to transpose what another says and does that may be intrinsically the same! One loses all ability to transfer the tasks, which is real creative and critical thinking skills development. 

One marker of this is getting lost in assumptions, which is forgetting how one came to compose a resonant structure that is causing conflict with the greater world. I remember within playing the violin, that one cross references one’s movements, and remembers the small things practiced, in which one can move with super speeds, and remembering how all of that ability to be present developed as a series of steps. It was more a dynamic interaction than a linear development. It moved within personal, mind, brain, social and physical relationships working in tandem, sensing the pressures the tensions, where something was not moving with ease, and where something was “ correct” because of a sense of balance or of being in tune. It is the same within respecting all things as this physical reality, where this reality is created and where if one is in respect of this reality, what is eternal is more visible, and one realizes that one cannot accept what causes harm or what suppresses opportunity in what develops the potential of each as life to realize being equal and one to all things, as the physical. 

One references this world around one and not only a resonance of memorized ideas about things as that is not real experience. That is a mis-use of the mind, or that imagination, visible in the resistances to reality, where one can sense this because of pressures in the body. One is not moving with ease. One is not silent and respecting what is here, as this reality. One is projecting.

I can stand in my own resonance and blow it up, to correct it, to forgive and realign, through knowing myself as my acceptances and allowances within beliefs, opinions and ideas that I never lived, that are more based on knowledge and information rather than experience. 

I must synch what is within with what is here, as the physical, to realize a presence of all things and rebuild the words I have accepted to be aligned with the practical reality, to practice a focus of and as a relationship of respect of my words to what is here. This, in itself is practicing being grounded here, self honest with what is here, knowing each step, to place my attention towards the physical. This is more of a pressure that is of no pressure within in a way. It removes assumptions, made visible in that one can remember the sequences of development or building as alignment to this reality. Here, one would remember what happened yesterday, today and tomorrow. I can only fathom it would mean the end of time.

I cannot fear a false morality, or the cry of “ not wanting to die” of such a resonant entity. It is simply a state of non-focus on this reality, and as such, it is a cry for life. That resonant shadow as what has been accepted and allowed as practiced that has come to motivate one’s actions, as one’s spells, will resist change. It is like a dog needing real training. In the beginning, it will take more time to correct a lack of correct action because it is harder to correct a mistake than it is to have learned something correctly from the get go. Yet, this is a gift, to ensure that one realizes the only solution has no short cuts, as the real solution is to always investigate, as cross reference until one senses what is in tune, what has a more eternal quality to it. 

This reminds me of the novel “ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,” as I found upon reading that novel that there are no short cuts, as one must realize each part, care for it, and place it in a way that one knows it, has awareness of it, and can therefor piece it back together after taking it apart. Putting all the parts back and finding a remaining piece, will extend the time it takes in the practice of caring for what one constructs, as one does not have the ability to motivate the machine without all the parts working in tandem. Taking things apart and putting them back together would lend a sense of each part and the interlocking whole. That would be amazing! 

The way I see this at the moment, is that each word must be placed and learned with a living relationship to reality, a living experience of the words, to the extent one remembers how one became more present towards life, which manifests as a capacity to realize the path of least resistance in others, which is, a state of realizing there is no such thing as criticism! Which is awesome. It also lends a joy of silence, of being still to listen and to hear separation and what is real, as the physical. The moment we are in assumptions, and cannot remember the joy of becoming more present, is the moment we rushed the construction of who and what we are.  And, to note, that we will make mistakes in this process, because that is how we learn, how we become more present in creation, which is earth, which is physical and works in expansive abundance when we realize that this here, is life. There is no such thing as an after-life. This here, is it.