Day 817 Inner constitution. What superstition am I allowing within ?

I remember a moment, standing in front of a classroom of 4th graders, asking the question as to how I can rebuild from what existed. I knew it had to do with sound and words, yet the details of what that in itself implied needed greater specificity. 

Our personalities are built of accepted and allowed measures. We create what is of a technology, and we know this because there exists the term “ techno colored dream coat.” We do know what we have accepted and allowed, and we realize how we have built such. Things that are built, happen through the ordinary, and become our motivational actions, as what comes to drive us, into the extra-ordinary. “ Extra” meaning what is superimposed into this reality by our actions. The word “ extra” added to the word ordinary intensifies the word “ ordinary.”  This intensifier can also mean one has created a superstition on reality, as beliefs, opinions and ideas that are self directions, or self projections - that being what is in effect a superstition. This becomes in itself a distraction. This, to continue, causing conflict and friction with reality, because it is not equal to the measure of the living flesh that is what we are and that is in reality a technology in and of itself. 

In regards to this on the greater stage, we see the use of this in media, through the constructions of sentences and paragraphs as what others speak in the relationships we participate within in our daily lives and what we adHEAR to when we take the dictions broadcast through newsfeed. We realize how much the constructions we speak, as the words we know, are of a mastery of blame and avoidance of taking self responsibility in our actions, or, effective self direction that lends more creative and supportive self direction. What we speak is a math. It is either fantasy which has a quality of superstition to it, or, it is more sound, meaning it lends a directive capacity to focus one into greater awareness that gives the self the practical, ordinary means to accomplish goals with effect. Everything is a pressure, or a more absent quality thereof. Thus, that infamous veil is visible, the suppression of noticing this, is visible in not paying attention to the very quality of this, and instead, focusing in maintaining the superstition. Superstition has a quality, it is not in accord/chord with creation. The matrix is this superstition. It is manifest as the laws of the walls around us that are basically management of superstition! I remember there being some wording by Lao Tzu along the lines of and as, the presence of laws already being a red flag because one has abdicated the self as life as presence and is following a lesser construct of information. 

At some point in my early forties, I could no longer read novels. I would open the books, read a couple of lines, put the book down and say to myself, “ no, I have seen this pattern before.” Somehow, all the books were of a “ band” of a narrow flow of information. I found a biography thereafter and it was more “ real” to me. Fiction no longer served my needs. 

I also, around this time, started to read Kyron. I read this supposed entity for about three months. One might at a party, I suddenly had the urge to go home and read Kyron. I stopped in my tracks, realizing I had become addicted to a set of words by some other worldly being. That was an automatic red flag. From that day onward, I stopped reading Kyron. This was myself emerging from the matrix in some way. I had already asked the question as to how to rebuild the children. How to get the words in without pictures. How to clean up the notes, to HEAR/here with greater precision. In other words “ What the F&*K was going on!” At times I must remind myself of this, because the soup of superstition, of my own acceptances, seeps in once again. Actions of Re-membrence help me to ground myself out of the storm of superstition that is of a narrow focus into a limited story that is visible in its absence of real and living creativity. 

It is still story, as constructs of information. It is still creative, but of something that uses the life force, so to speak, yet is a para-site of that life force. It has no real staying power, meaning no real creative power. It is like a vortex sucking the life out, fractionalizing creation. It is the “ pursuit of happiness” rather than the embrace of what is more natural, as happiness. We are happy when we are focused and unhappy when we are not. We are lost to ourselves when we are stuck up in our heads, and not grounded in reality, being in consideration of all things, utilizing our senses in accord with this living breathing creation that is physical. The acceptance of “ that is the way it is” is a part of this program of separation called ego. 

To rebuild, is done the same way, it means walking the ordinary into the extra-ordinary, which means breathing, slowing down, living corrective actions that ground and focus one here, in respect of all things. The manipulations are done through small actions of acceptance and allowance. Rebuilding to align to life, to live a natural state of happiness, means to accept sequences of actions that focus one here, that build into a focus that can hold an accepted and allowed superstitious state of separation AND the choice of presence in this living reality. Then can we and will we change our inner constitution to be the living words of and as rejoicing in a natural state of happiness. Because we become this within ourselves, as allowing what is normal, there will be no need to have a worded document stating what our constitutions must be. And, the constitution we have, in America, at present, will no longer be worded in and as a subtle manipulation, as the words “ the pursuit of happiness” thereby building a perpetual state of seeking happiness, which is in itself a distraction from life, as allowing and accepting that state of separation into limited story that is of a belief that happiness is separate from who and what we are. The nature of life is creative, is of a quality that balances, that tales/takes the good and does no harm, that considers all things. This is what is normal, the rest is superstition. 

                                             Be Yourself !

Romanticizing a relationship Day 761

It is interesting how I am drawn to look at certain things, while at the same time not seeing what is right in front of me that I am telling myself. 

What I have been focused on is processing speeds, as being able to do the math, within the patterns as words, that describe, lol de-scribe , the focus of myself.  I can’t see what is in plain sight, as I am so focused on the pictures and the story that there is not reflection within the whole, as this living reality.

I am a series of relationships, as values, that I hold, to project an idea, which is how the mind works as a web of separation from this practical and physical reality. That is just it. This point that the relationship of values, is the composition of who and what I am as a persona, just as creation is a relationship of values, and just as another as the same, is a relationship of values. Just as I have focused on the constructs of words, and just a s a soap opera is built, so is this the same in what is here, whether in division or in equality to what is real, as the physical. Therefor, I am focusing on an innate understanding of this, taking it apart, and yet not seeing the forest through the trees. On one level, what I am drawn to, is exposing what I am realizing, yet I have gotten so caught up in the idea only. This causes anxiety, as though I am juggling and the balls are getting ahead of me, because I have not remained grounded. 

I also realize that listening to others is very important, to see the patterns, as a math, as a series of relationships that build what I call a scream that is ultimately a longing to be whole. I remember being 12 and being obsessed with this. I wanted to understand the scream, so it is a theme I carry with me, that can also become a distraction, as it is a relationship between values that I have allowed myself to hold. I believe this is probably true of everyone, if they make the choice to look, as the means of separation from being focused and present in the practical is the same. In the stories of information as a series of relationships is both the longing for self and the sequences that separate the self from the real presence of self in awareness, as a focused respect of life, as the physical. 

To jump here, to remembering the death of my husband, I relive the sadness of this, remembering that a part of me thought that a great beauty was lost in his death. And, at the same time the impossibility of realizing why this was not lived. How could this come to  be extinguished? Since this was what I was projecting, this was really myself. What I projected outward was what I was seeing within myself. And to note, that the support of the people around me, after his death, were, to me, these words that did not describe the whole picture. I got to the point where I did not want any pity, and I dd not want to hear supportive statements of regret because they were in no way solving the problem. 

When I allow only the thoughts of and as ‘ there being a great beauty’ and ‘ it is impossible’ to realize this, to sort this out, there is also the voice within me, for as long as I can remember as ‘ NO, this cannot be so.”  My family made fun of this part of me, that person that did not have the answer yet often said in frustration, that what was accepted simply could not be so. I, after all these years on this planet, simply will not give up. 

I can focus on these inner billboard signs as idea, and use them like a life jacket, in a moment, yet the motivation of and as “ this cannot be so’ as the positive, and the negative sense as a form that this is impossible, and that a beauty has been lost as a superiority of and as a good, are forms that can take my focus, and distract me from being simple and normal and present in this reality. This is what and how a mind consciousness works. It is a math, as a sequence of forms as beliefs, opinions and ideas that can become a thing, better known as an idol, that distract from being present and in equality to life. Meaning, one is so present, one has no value judgements, one is practical and in focus on the life. One is in a relationship with all things, understanding their expression in form and function. It is really very simple. The mind exists within stories of good and bad, right and wrong, rise and fall, protagonist and antagonist, antecedent and consequence. Limited, narrowly framed, bound. Nothing to do with balance of sound in form and function. This demands seeing towards creation.  Look at ordering something, it is merely placing things into an order. 

In all, this persona of and as these things, is myself focusing on a lack, and not being here - really listening to this reality. To accept the physical as reality, this life, in expression, would mean I would have no fear of death, because in essence, being here, with this reality as life in expression would mean that there really is no death. It just means listening to here, moving with and as here, as the physical.

Day 25 Who I am within the mechanism of a world system.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to allow my self to believe that the present system of profit on this earth determines the behavior of my self, that who I am as my self in self direction is influenced by what has been allowed to exist as a system of inequality here on this earth.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that the stories  in and as my mind are a collection of all the experiences in and as my past that when I become fearful and worried about money, I turn into one long sob story, where I am caught in a storm as images as a story in and as my mind, which I entertain my self with and become some kind of superior hero of justice, which is all an illusion of my mind that has no practical application or solution within this world as this action as my self, accepted and allowed is more of the same actions and behaviors accepted and allowed within a system that does not support life, a system that is of survival and fear.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not see immediately that this being of my self as a story that is a collection of all the experiences from my past, that are judgements of blame and self pity and fear, based on a desire to survive and or escape from what has been accepted and allowed within my self and this world as I have been taught to measure this world as more than and less than, instead of learning to see that this world is life, and that the substance of this world is life, and that this substance as life has in no way been taught as what we are here, as creators of life where what is learned is to enjoy this substance that is life that is what is here in such a way to be able to express ourselves as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to interact with others as though I am in some kind of competition as this is what is taught to become more than another, to follow certain presentations of self to ensure that one survive and earn money to maintain a position within this world where one can survive in this system of more than and less than where money determines who lives and who dies, where the substance as what is here that is what is here in essence is, is not taught to use as what we are as life and within this where we learn to respect and move with and as, equal to, one with, as this is what we are in essence as this is what is life.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to not fear what is in the mind and to simply see it as a collection of images and ideas and thoughts and desires and wants and needs all based on my past, a collection of fears, desires, wants and needs based on ideas, and opinions, as to what I must be to become a person of supposed meaning within this system of competition and survival within a system of inequality that supports division of self into behaviors of being a winner or a loser where what has happened is the self as mind is the conquered by a system of limited design that does not realize the equality and oneness of life as the substance of life is what is here as all that is here one and equal.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, hear, and realize the equality of all that is here as this earth and within this to realize that elimination and destruction of anything of this earth, as suppressing the expression of what is here on this earth is one and the same as the suppression of self, as this earth is, in totality as a whole an entity in and as life, where the total expression of life cannot be realized until all on this earth is directing itself in awareness of itself as life, one and equal to all that is here that is of the same substance.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize and see and understand that interaction with what is here, be it plant, animal or human is to allow my self to be an expression of life as my self, where if I allow my self to exist as mind I disallow life through becoming the limitation of the mind that functions as a data bank of knowledge and information, as imagery, thoughts, ideas, opinions, beliefs that move as singular forma as a chain if limited beliefs that have no sense of this earth.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see and hear and sense as my self in equality and oneness with what is here that the expression of my self is directive in commonsense of the whole, where an image cannot be a “common sense of the whole” as it is  limited.

I forgive my self for not allowing my self to realize that any image in and as my mind will be a simplified image as personification of my past where if I look to the history of the image I will see all the experiences of my past that were my self in separation of life, and that this image is a collection of all the values imposed onto me by the culture in which I was born, the required  manners, role play, beliefs, opinions, ideas, god-worship (warship), judgements of class and educational development, sexual preferences, gender projections etc. that I can also use to weave a story to entertain my self in and as my mind continuing the separation of my self from life.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize my own common sense to become the director of my self as this self aware of what is best for all as the who I am as life in equality and oneness with life.

I commit my self to stopping any story, image, as a collection of my past in and as my mind and to remain here in breath, breathing, here.

I commit my self to bringing back to self the images in and as my mind as what I allow to separate my self as life, and to do writing, self forgiveness and corrective application to remove the fear of my self as life standing in what is best for all.

Life reviews

The Interconnectedness between thoughts energy and light.

Equal Money System