It is astounding how much everything is a math. Within this, to realize the extent of personality that one becomes within and as beliefs, opinions and ideas.
The other day, I had a conversation with someone close to me. In a moment, I was aware of contradictory statements, and then, a “ state of being” as a personality. It is, though I have heard this before, a movement into a limitation, like holding a belief as a thing, and then in the next jumping into another context. Overall, a cognitive dissonance from the ordinary practical and physical reality that is here, in plain sight.
The words, changed according to the personality. In one moment it was resisted, or reacted-to in relation to what I was conveying, and then in the next it was admitted to or acknowledged. What I noticed it that as I noted the two entities of belief, as expressed, as a contradiction, the different states of being, like a thing, like a mathematical formula in front of me.
Within this, I could also see that in the past, I would have reacted to the emotional content of one and agreed with the other to appease the initial emotional reaction. lol, at the same time that I write this, I realize that in working with others, I tend to relax when there is agreement, at the expense of covering some limitations that would most probably become a bounce back. Therefor, within this, having a situation where there is seeming agreement, there is also necessity to cover what is not being said.
I suppose, as a child, seeing a state-of-limitation as a time line of built beliefs, would be a “ pain” in a way, and within myself, a reaction as a movement to move away from, ignore, avoid continuing or creating that tension of limited belief consuming the FOCUS of the body of the person. Yet, the realization that nothing can define a person, would enable one to have empathy as one moving beyond sympathy into real means and ways to allow a self discovery of balance and presence. Somewhat like turning a dial on a magnifying device in ways that uncover a limited and constructed focus of the body. Yet, I have found that uncovering things, when noticed and remembered, one as anything in this reality, there is a need of space process the uncovered, or discovered. Within this, one of the means of limitation is to give no space to actually process one’s experience. It is why, as I have discovered, our present government layer and spread things out, making it easy to hide what is real in plain sight and yet cause distraction to uncover the construct of the whole. Greed is a nasty business, one that kills the parasitical host as well as the victim. This understanding is probably there in the child, as the child enters this superimposed reality in reality. Processing that and learning to live with what is here, requires careful consideration, that one thing that is basically blocked within the demands of a limiting system. But then again, overall, it is like one giant computer game, where one must learn the inherent traps- even when they are spread out.
Yet, this is about inherent contradictions that are visible in a state of jumping beliefs within self interest. Self interest being a math that is separate from the practical and ordinariness of life manifest as the physical. This that would be a state of considering ALL things, FOCUSING the body on recognizing ALL THINGS. Of course, cross referencing all things, would mean to focus in the moment, as here. Focusing on memorized ideas, beliefs and opinions, would be a state of separation from being focused here. And, as humans are happy when they are doing, being focused here, would have a quality to it, one that would be more constant and calm. Most likely, when we are at our best self, the quality of our expression would be that of greater constancy, meaning of less contradiction. Again, it is all a math.
In this moment, of which I speak, the contradictions as the expressions from this person I was communicating with, were suddenly visible. I, within myself, realized on one level, how influenced I had been by the emotional intensity of this person. And on another level, at the same time, I realized to probably a more defined degree, how much contradictions are so evident. And they appear like a sudden jump in space in time. I also realized, simultaneously, how such could be more directed into seeing the whole and the moving parts - as life is consideration and expression at the same time. And, to had another level of my own inner movements, from being the same, I realized I feared what was said and discussed, with the reactions as beliefs, that more than likely, our conversation would be echoed through a group and spun in such a way that answering to the scattered beliefs would be a ripple effect that I feared “ causing.” As it would be me, in relation to all of this, that the questioning of things would be placed upon. And this, in a way that I had criticized what was basically a belief construct. Something that as personality and limitation would react and be cognitively dissonant from hearing anything else. Thus, addressing those fears is necessary. Especially, when overall, as always, the answer is in noticing the inherent contradictions and balancing them out into common sense. This means facing the storm of limitation. And, as was more visible in this moment, at the end of that day, it is something to be fearless within. A fearlessness that needs no second thoughts, no requirement of recognition, no sense of gain. Any of those things would hide the difference.
This also helps me to realize in a more substantial way and means that the difference between being present and focused in respect of all things, has a direct correlation to the amount of contradiction in what is said as the very words we speak. Thus, as I said before, it is all a math. And, the focus of the body, within and as accepting limitation, is visible. Moving into what is natural, as something like hearing that grass grow, will take time, and yet most likely open up in a moment as something that was always, in all ways in plain sight, and very natural. I suppose being able to do that, would also mean one would be able to see one’s own means of separation from that, in a moment. And, know it so well, one would never ever make the choice to return to ignorance. It is that the less one believes one can move one’s self here in this reality, the greater one’s distance is from reality, and the more resonant chaos of ideas, beliefs and opinions one has spinning within one as a false god. The more this is one’s state of being, the more difficult it is to pick up a hammer and hammer in a nail, so distracting is one’s resonant ghost. The potential ensuing verbal drama’s are a form of entertainment, from having played a video game for so long, the focus has a hard time being changeable back into remembering that life is all things, and thus the physical living reality is the starting point of who and what we are as life. It is life in expression and it is here.
Self forgiveness to follow…
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