The other day, I had a conversation with someone close to me. In a moment, I was aware of contradictory statements, and then, a “ state of being” as a personality. It is, though I have heard this before, a movement into a limitation, like holding a belief as a thing, and then in the next jumping into another context. Overall, a cognitive dissonance from the ordinary practical and physical reality that is here, in plain sight.
The words, changed according to the personality. In one moment it was resisted, or reacted-to in relation to what I was conveying, and then in the next it was admitted to or acknowledged. What I noticed it that as I noted the two entities of belief, as expressed, as a contradiction, the different states of being, like a thing, like a mathematical formula in front of me.
Within this, I could also see that in the past, I would have reacted to the emotional content of one and agreed with the other to appease the initial emotional reaction. lol, at the same time that I write this, I realize that in working with others, I tend to relax when there is agreement, at the expense of covering some limitations that would most probably become a bounce back. Therefor, within this, having a situation where there is seeming agreement, there is also necessity to cover what is not being said.
I suppose, as a child, seeing a state-of-limitation as a time line of built beliefs, would be a “ pain” in a way, and within myself, a reaction as a movement to move away from, ignore, avoid continuing or creating that tension of limited belief consuming the FOCUS of the body of the person. Yet, the realization that nothing can define a person, would enable one to have empathy as one moving beyond sympathy into real means and ways to allow a self discovery of balance and presence. Somewhat like turning a dial on a magnifying device in ways that uncover a limited and constructed focus of the body. Yet, I have found that uncovering things, when noticed and remembered, one - as anything in this reality, there is a need of space to process the uncovered, or discovered. Within this, one of the means of limitation is to give no space to actually process one’s experience. It is why, as I have discovered, our present government layer and spread things out, making it easy to hide what is real in plain sight and yet cause distraction to uncover the construct of the whole. Greed is a nasty business, one that kills the parasitical host as well as the victim. This understanding is probably there in the child, as the child enters this superimposed reality in reality. Processing that and learning to live with what is here, requires careful consideration, that one thing that is basically blocked within the demands of a limiting system. But then again, overall, it is like one giant computer game, where one must learn the inherent traps- even when they are spread out.
Yet, this is about inherent contradictions that are visible in a state of jumping beliefs within self interest. Self interest being a math that is separate from the practical and ordinariness of life manifest as the physical. This that would be a state of considering ALL things, FOCUSING the body on recognizing ALL THINGS. Of course, cross referencing all things, would mean to focus in the moment, as here. Focusing on memorized ideas, beliefs and opinions, would be a state of separation from being focused here. And, as humans are happy when they are doing, being focused here, would have a quality to it, one that would be more constant and calm. Most likely, when we are at our best self, the quality of our expression would be that of greater constancy, meaning of less contradiction. Again, it is all a math.
In this moment, of which I speak, the contradictions as the expressions from this person I was communicating with, were suddenly visible. I, within myself, realized on one level, how influenced I had been by the emotional intensity of this person. And on another level, at the same time, I realized to probably a more defined degree, how much contradictions are so evident. And they appear like a sudden jump in space in time. I also realized, simultaneously, how such could be more directed into seeing the whole and the moving parts - as life is consideration and expression at the same time. And, to had another level of my own inner movements, from being the same, I realized I feared what was said and discussed, with the reactions as beliefs, that more than likely, our conversation would be echoed through a group and spun in such a way that answering to the scattered beliefs would be a ripple effect that I feared “ causing.” As it would be me, in relation to all of this, that the questioning of things would be placed upon. And this, in a way that I had criticized what was basically a belief construct. Something that as personality and limitation would react and be cognitively dissonant from hearing anything else. Thus, addressing those fears is necessary. Especially, when overall, as always, the answer is in noticing the inherent contradictions and balancing them out into common sense. This means facing the storm of limitation. And, as was more visible in this moment, at the end of that day, it is something to be fearless within. A fearlessness that needs no second thoughts, no requirement of recognition, no sense of gain. Any of those things would hide the difference.
This also helps me to realize in a more substantial way and means that the difference between being present and focused in respect of all things, has a direct correlation to the amount of contradiction in what is said as the very words we speak. Thus, as I said before, it is all a math. And, the focus of the body, within and as accepting limitation, is visible. Moving into what is natural, as something like hearing that grass grow, will take time, and yet most likely open up in a moment as something that was always, in all ways in plain sight, and very natural. I suppose being able to do that, would also mean one would be able to see one’s own means of separation from that, in a moment. And, know it so well, one would never ever make the choice to return to ignorance. It is that the less one believes one can move one’s self here in this reality, the greater one’s distance is from reality, and the more resonant chaos of ideas, beliefs and opinions one has spinning within one as a false god. The more this is one’s state of being, the more difficult it is to pick up a hammer and hammer in a nail, so distracting is one’s resonant ghost. The potential ensuing verbal drama’s are a form of entertainment, from having played a video game for so long, the focus has a hard time being changeable back into remembering that life is all things, and thus the physical living reality is the starting point of who and what we are as life. It is life in expression and it is here.
Self forgiveness to follow…
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear emotional movements, as expressions as beliefs, as ideas, within and as the very focus as form within and as the physical living flesh as the body.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as ideas, beliefs and opinions as making a projection of ideas, beliefs and opinions larger than life itself.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to breath, to slow down and to use myself as life, in tandem with this physical living flesh that is me here, to see realize and understand that life is here in plain sight, that the focus as a from, as a movement of the physical body as the flesh as this earthly living form, is life, and as such can build an inner focus of separation from common sense, visible when one listens to the words being spoken and look at the movement of the person in plain sight, as the lens of the body reveals the focus of the body here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that processing the inFORMation of what is here, is what is innate about who and what I am as life as the physical and as such can see, and feel that focus of the body and hear the contradictions as the words, as the sounds as the forms from the body here, and within this, I am able to address the information and the focus of the body to see realize and understand imbalances and discover what makes sense as what is best for all here as life, as the means is always in all ways here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand the correlation to being emotional and being present here, as the difference is visible, in the focus and the words of the from as the physical body as the person as the human as the life that is here as life is simply here, whereas projections distort focus and expression of self as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a character of and as a quality of being surreptitious, where I listen and maintain a distance from being here, which in itself is being a watcher, without taking actions that move into what balances the within, to the without, the above to the below, to realize the value is being here, equal and one in consideration of all things as all that is is myself in another life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to tense up, within and as my chest area, to shut down looking here, within and as allowing myself to fear emotions, which are basically not having enough information, and as such causing a state of separation and limited thin-king here, as well, a from of protection and defense as a consequence of avoiding consideration of all things in a moment, because of an idea of a fear of loss, when the real loss is a lack of considering all things, where in so many ways, the simple is usually the answer, often visible in retrospect, revealing that the polarized chaos is also a system, one that morphs in many ways and can appear overwhelming, when within this the patterns are similar, and as such, able to be addressed without any emotional reaction within myself here, as I am life and I am here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and decompose what is around me to see realize and understand the correlations evident in the difference between being focused here, in respect of all things and being in protection and defense in relation to hiding a lack of being able to process the projections of beliefs, opinions and ideas, and the difference of being present and in recognition of all things as the realization that life is physical and in plain sight here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize in every moment, the power of being focused here, and not reacting to limitation, but to rather focus on the form that is here, in every moment, as the difference between being focused and what is essentially being scattered as living as knowledge and information, instead of being practical and in respect of life as the physical, because the physical is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel ashamed at the extent to which I focused ONLY on the emotional content of and as the fear, the false evidence appearing real, as the projection of ideas, beliefs and opinions, that are recognizable in the polarized, value judgements that are basically a denial of being present, as a value judgement is an association to an idea, as the very quality and nature of such, which is a signature of being scattered and thus insecure, and thus in a state of loss of common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the math of what it means to be scattered, that is visible, as in the very focus of the body, as the presence is absent, because at the end of the day, each and every one of us knows the difference, which is why what we practice is what we become, as what we practice is what we allow, which leaves a mark, because separation causes a lack of focus, and thus a lack of capacity, and thus a lack of security and stability.
I forgive myself for being locked in limited associations within and as the very focus of myself.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to read through things like troll letters, especially the really long ones, because they bring forward the patterns of cognitive dissonance, in their very form and function meant to cause frustration and discord, as things are triggered through label and name calling and seemingly invisible threats as the “ you are either against us or with us” scenarios which is a form of limiting information as revealing the whole and the moving parts.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing a storm, to fear being confrontational, as in reality, fearing to be confrontational, within and as common sense, reflects the degree to which one is lacking information as being grounded, as facing limitation and scatological thin-king,which is a gift because it means that one is essentially lacking in real seeing, in real living presence, in real movement as steadiness, as being grounded in consideration of all things here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that any form of self pity is a distraction from looking at what is here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have realized the difference between speaking as knowledge and information, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to look here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to look here, and to open this up, as I fear being accused of having done the same, and also within this, to realize that all manner of responses will be expressed as the very process of coming back down to earth requires processing the difference here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have not noticed the difference.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing a mind consciousness system that is of obvious shadow movement within and as the human physical body that is more constant as it is life, as this earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remain steady in focus and purpose within and as realizing in thought, word , and deed that life is here, and that life is physical, as this is considering all things, and taking the good and ensuring no harm, to redirect into the value being life here as being in expression of creation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to act, to behave in protection and defense within and as wanting to memorize structures to guide me in relation to, which is also an idea, that I must have a firm template or grasp, or both, to allow me, to prepare me to face what is here as a mind consciousness system that is a resonant form around the human physical body, as a projection of and as ideas about the past, which are basically unresolved beliefs as a fear of loss, in the order of being able to face something, which is a form of caution, and yet, any children, especially in earlier generations did not have this to the extent it exists today, and were able to see, and yet not be heard, as they did not yet have the means of communication, especially with parents who were lost in a limited narrative of limited values that were in an absence of considering all things as who and what we are here as physical states of being.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to relax, to remain calm, to see, especially within the experience, that when and as I look here, in some small moments what was discovered was of a greater understanding and a consequence of being less emotional as a slow and subtle trust is built that enables me to face emotional storms with lending direction that resolves and discovers a more balanced state of being, which in itself as a form of realizing emotional charges as beliefs that lack respect of who and what we are as physical life, as life is physical and that physical is life, as it remains and is visible, is in plain sight here, and as such as a system of great inequality, what is the means of a few owning what is here put to promulgate a narrative that there is an after life, or to pretend “ love and light” when real love is the universal measure of and as “ to give as one would receive,” as this measure in practical movement, would create an existence where no one is in lack, as this is natural.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am disempowered.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe, that I have no power.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand how tiny is the projection of a mind consciousness memorized and self created inner resonant system is a construct of little value in that it has no real longevity, as was evident in the death of my father, thus the emotional storms of really of no significance, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself as my beingness, to see, realize and understand that it means to stand here, within and as describing the difference, to bring the gap between being focused here, in respect of all things as the physical living and breathing and expressing physical state called earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that at the end of the day, there is only here, this physical breathing expressing reality called earth.
I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that when and as I cannot hold a more complex form within me, I am showing myself to myself, as the very distractions of polarized values thwart my focus onto being one and equal within and as standing equal to a more complex form, which means that when and as I cannot stand one and equal to a more complex form of disassociation I am not grounded here, in reality, equal and one to this existence, for which there is no excuse, none, no “ soft love” as an idea is going to change this, as there is only standing equal and one with intent, especially as adults that can use words and communicate because I am no longer a child.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to process what is here as forms chest on here, as I understand that the heart as a much greater electrical field than does the head…., but more on that research later.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that even if this is true, it means that the suppression through the use of projection of an energetic visible field around the physical body, is of such thin stuff it is astounding that the heart is suppressed to the degree that it is…
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand those moments where “ troll” manage was in my space and to which I did not react, and instead if anything, looked at with curiosity, and within that realized the patterns and forms and was more effective in not triggering the emotional field, and as such answered to it in ways to allow it to discover itself, within and as asking it to repeat itself, as within the law of three, bringing something forward three times as a great effect, which is also in the bible.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to ask questions more, as making statements by nature places pressure to respond, which causes a discord within a state of separation as a person believing that their resonant belief system is more real than life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that I am life and as life I am capable of standing one and equal to what are essentially resonant constructions of polarized values that has patterns to it, like patterns of grief, and is visible as we can only speak our experience here, thus we reveal even in silence where we are at, as the living breathing physical reality is in plain sight and of such magnificence that real life would be in expression in every moment, even in silence, as in a way, within and as intention, real understanding is a constant that cannot be denied.
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