I find myself in thinking more than I realize. Obviously, or I wouldn't be doing it. In contrast, there are those moments when one stops thinking, and suddenly, often through distraction, one sees the beginning and the end - so to speak. Those moments where one sees past a problem spinning around in a mind consciousness rather than in presence of the togetherness of all things, those silver threads that compose all things. Wisdom, or peace, or certainty, or calm, or a combination of all of these states of being. Perhaps that if the silver threads are visible in a moment, it means one has placed them outside of the self? That veil of thinking being the lines of beliefs whorling around. We live in a atmostfear/atmosphere earth sometimes called the whorled/world.
These days the " thoughts" are more subtle and seemingly calm. And it appears normal to think through the tasks of the day. And the planning, even within potential emotional scenarios. This is still excessive thinking. That a point of realizing one is able to direct in a moment, means that thinking about every detail is fear, worry, insecurity, separation. The contrast of those moments when one sees all the sequences of movement necessary to get something done is like reading 1000 words per minute. The worry is like spinning in some image, generating a limited whorl of uncertainties that one is attempting to fathom before the fact. This is inefficient focus at the end of the day. One has to realize that one is able to process in the moment and act accordingly. Presence requires considering all things. Real solutions require a consideration of all things. And that requires realizing the togetherness of all things. And of course, investigation is always necessary. Spinning in thinking is different than investigation.
What I notice within this process, is that my spiralings are not as intense, they appear more " gentle," which is a deception in itself. They remain as thin-king/spiraling/separation. And meanwhile, I notice that I sense patterns outside of the thinking, which is the point of those moments when one sees the beginning and the end of an endeavor. It is like seeing the steps of putting a puzzle together. That is outside of being in a mind consciousness. It is like standing equal to what is within and what is without and what is above and what is below. It is seeing the physical form, as opposed to ideas about a form. An education system that uses memory to learn builds such states of separation. Direct engagement builds a sense of form and function. Of course that would develop ingenuity, which works against an industrial profit model.
It exposes the acceptances of a system that both manages thinking, and suppresses a natural sense of the space. The way aging people lose their memories, and even a sense of where they are. It has to do with the degrees of disconnect that appear in many of the " psychological " issues in behavior that appear to accumulate and compound in children today. Are these things all on some continuum? Is that visible, or is it becoming more visible. I mean there are children who can no longer control their bodies and burst out with statements, as though it has become a part of the flesh. And then humans are embarrassed, when this is exposure of the secret mind, or a child speaking of what they see? Or is it a direct expression of a recognition of patterns? As though the child sorted something out loud? What is visible is how much the ticks are the same in these children. The swaying back and forth an attempt to find some stability within the internal " sins of the fathers " storm of mis-information. Overall, it reveals the abuse of the physical, the abuse of the flesh. The rejection of creation. Everything is visible. Complicating it is more of a whorl of avoidance thin-king. What is a a mind consciousness but the product of justifications to avoid being responsible?
And it all appears to be coming from the back of me, somewhere behind me. I remember when I was a child running to a tree, really upset, and yet ashamed, attempting to run away from something following me. I know it is something building within me. I am ashamed and in the realization that the one thing I didn't want to happen is happening. I am becoming that which is in my parents. And there is always this sense of something above me, something nebulous above me. of course I was a child, or was it that I was leaving the physical flesh? Was my running towards the tree an attempt to escape separation? And yet, I didn't have the words to call it that. It was more a "thing " following me. The question is as to why I didn't stand within it and sort it out? After all, that is the only solution. Crying over spilt milk does nothing. Meaning, continuing to run away, simply is running away from a problem, which of course perpetuates the problem.
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