Day 685 The Caregiver Archetype continued. Self Corrective Statements.

The Caregiver Archetype

Today I had a meeting where I had to evaluate information I had accumulated and listen to perspectives about that information. I then had to frame the perspective in practical ways, calling measure by name. For example, the description of an embedded behavior being a form of an emotional polarity, or building a framework of what might become the next steps. 

Within me, there are these ‘ colored movements’ which are my own accepted and allowed emotional polarities. They are beliefs, opinions and ideas about things, that have no real practical building movement. 

At one point, I realized that being there and simply communicating about things, giving perspectives that qualified behaviors and outcomes was what connected and what built understanding. I did not need to have an emotional connection other than the simple understanding in practical measure. Within this, I could see and build possible outcomes and relate the practical steps necessary to continue building.

Within the caregiver archetype,  I separated myself from being responsible and created more discord in relation to the practical. In wanting a value, a judgement value to define me, as in  allowing myself to be defined by having the value of care, thereby believing myself to be stronger and the one to whom I give care, the weaker, I mistook the practical, as I ran within a self interest as a belief, or idea generated from my past.  In reality, real relationships need no desire for connection, as the real connection is the intention to create actions that show the practice of common sense. This means that there is nothing owed and everything to be thankful for.  It by nature moves with more ease. 

I noticed today as I communicated the practice of self forgiveness, to slow way down and breath and let go of preconceived ideas and to listen to the present moment. I had the space and time to realize what was being expressed, even when that expression was moving into describing another behavior other than previously discussed. I could see the form, breath, not allow myself to become rigid and fixed in a desire to say something myself, like I was rushing to ensure my idea of connection. Instead I let this go and listened. What I found is that what was communicated as a form fit into a pattern, the same pattern previously discussed. Hence, in listening, I could call what existed by name.  It was the practice of being grounded here, sharing instead of competing. 

In all I can only ever be here. What I believe in and as my mind, even if it is information that has some validity, is information. This can change in a moment, and which may not fit into the same way of description as my own and/or may open another dimension about something.. Whether it is from myself or another, it is as a spoken word, a perspective of this actual and real physical world.  In every moment, to remain stable, information must fit into the practical, and it is this grounding, that builds functional and trust worthy relationships.

Afterwards, I felt that I had an anxiety attack, and in this fear, I could sense that I wanted to spite, to shut down, to not face the next steps. i would go over what I was about and realize the practical . Something that has no where near the difficulty being fearful would imply. 

Within this there is a natural desire to be self responsible, so where does the fear of being self responsible come from? And as a consequence, where does the spite to and towards being responsible come from?  Once something is understood it is no longer difficult. A starting point of a desire to fix something loses a starting point of acceptance of all things.  A starting point of wanting to be responsible separates from being self responsible, and then misses the movement of creation. In this there is no need for spite, which is resistance. Resistance then becomes a marker to indicate the need to slow down, breath, ground myself here, and absorb- to process what is here, without judgement, to consider all things and realize what is best. 

Within all of this, great patience is necessary. Great calm. And great empathy for myself as I have accepted and allowed myself to race as a mind consciousness system of limited values, a story that was a lie by omission, composed of mistakes on reality and justifications that polarized values and  created a memory in separation from life, stored in the muscles of my physical body. I have resisted being here, in practical reality. I have spited here, spited life and consequentially been the source of my own fear. Yes, realizing this as a child, with a world of adults being an authority of same game, it was difficult. Thus within this, there is no one to blame, as I, my own accepted and allowed humpty dumpty can be the only one to put myself back together again. This means breathing, slowing down, grounding myself here in the physical. If I develop the patience to listen, then perhaps I can develop the patience to watch the grass grow and become equal and one to creation as who and what I really am and journey through the eye of the needle.

The solution is to become the master of one’s self as life. This is done with writing self forgiveness and self corrective statements and breathing in every moment. This is making the decision to be here, in equality and oneness with and as life here.

When and as I find myself becoming anxious, nervous, as a reaction, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I ground myself here, within and as taking the small detailed steps of understanding the measure and movement of here, within the physical, to communicate what grounds and stabilizes  within the principle of what is best for all, as in sharing the means of self responsibility, within and as directing into bringing here the practical small steps of how we learn, and how we build and how we form in specific measure, here.

When and as I find myself resisting within and as myself , I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I cross reference to ensure I am not a reaction to a reaction and instead move from problem into solution, in ways that build no lie, that can stand in intense and equality to what self empowers myself and those with whom I am in communion with here.

When and as I find myself becoming tense and constricted within and as my physical body, I stop and I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that gift of myself as life, able to change as  understand the form within my immediate environment - as this is a natural learning ability, an ability to absorb, and I investigate and assess, cross reference, until I can gently move, and direct here, with ease.

When and as I find myself moving into resistance, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I with real eyes, cross reference my own resistances, and residences around me, as they are all a mathematical form, and I assess taking space and time to ground myself into a practical small step to and towards solution that can be understood and self empowering here.

When and as I find myself moving into resistances, I stop and I breath and I check to name the resistance, to see if it is myself fearing that I am not pretty enough, or smart enough , and I stop and I breath and I realize that we are all the same, a human being with great capacity as our ability to assess reality and take, or move, as that which does no harm as this is what we would want for ourselves.

When and as I find myself moving into protection and self defense, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I assess the ideas about who and what I am as a personality, the thoughts composed of charged values as ideas, beliefs and opinions, to see, realize and understand where I have accepted and allowed an inferiority to life here, often hidden within a compounded inferiority, as a righteousness, that is a justification where I define myself as superior, or stronger than another, which is a reaction and not the movement from problem into solution.

When and as I find myself resisting being grounded here, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess the details of here, within and as an understanding of how things are built in a physical world that is creation information, and I  slow myself way down, where I can practice giving within and as lending, sharing, imparting, an understanding of what grounds in practical application.

When and as I find myself acting within a polarity of stronger and weaker, being that I judge another as weaker, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess , listening  to hear/here the potential of life that is around me, ever present as this is the very means of the physical here and thus this is always here.

When and as I find myself judging another as weak, or myself as weak, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I recognize the energy, as the polarity, as the value judgement, and I assess until I can find an ease to self direct,  that grounds, here.

When and as I find myself losing empathy for myself, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that I have not walked the practical, the practice of being here as the physical and the means of building equality and oneness with the physical, as I have accepted and allowed myself to race as a mind consciousness system, thus walking the practical means realizing with joy , the small steps that are the means to communicate and commune with life, physical life, as this is the means to connect with the space to create and build in calm, gentle, humble, and consistent ways.

When and as I find myself moving into forcing something, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that this forcing is a form of resistance, and I assess what I have accepted and allowed within and as me, to transform the caregiver archetype into moving as what is best for all, here.

When and as I find myself moving as wanting to define myself as caring, wanting recognition, as validation from another, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, until I am here, equal and one and present with this moment here.

When and as I find myself  becoming scared, leading into bewilderment and confusion, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess my within and the without, until  I can see the parts and the whole as the construct of information, and I do so with empathy and support within understanding that it is a process to understand what I have accepted and allowed as a mind consciousness of limited values become personality, composed of energy as charged value judgments , and I see, realize and understand the consequences of this as the environment in which I live, and I deconstruct and reconstruct one step at a time. moving with care and empathy in relation to who I am and what I have accepted, to see, realize and understand who I am and what I am as life here, as a physical embodiment of life in expression as creation to empower myself as life, to model the potential of what each is, which is life.

When and as I find a movement, as a pressure within and as the back of my neck, and my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I slow way down, and I assess, one step at a time, being gentle, humble, calm, to move the natural ability within and as me, an absorbent ability,  to assess what I have accepted as the movement of me, to realize resistances and fears and to accept the gift of life as the physical, to understand what builds into solutions that impart no harm, and expose the potential of life that is always here.

When and as I find myself wanting to build a value between myself and another, to define who and what I am, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down,  to see, realize and understand the practical which is what can withstand the test of time and build real stable relationships, here, that create communication with no binds, as the communication allows self empowerment which is the real value, here, and what I would want for myself here.

When and as I find myself becoming sad, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I deconstruct this belief that something is sad, until I can see, realize and understand the detailed mistakes on reality, being empathetic to myself within this movement/practice, until I have assessed within the principle of what is best for all, what directs in detail to and towards self empowerment, which is the real value, here.

When and as I find myself defining myself as having a value in relation to sharing with another a perspective and pointing things out or offering advice, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess within the principle of what is best for all, realizing the value is life and that I am one and equal to what is here, as the physical composition of life, where the parts working in tandem create the whole. and as this, the expression of life is the real value.

When and as I find myself having a reaction that I am insignificant, or meaningless, or worthless, I stop and I breath, and I slow way down, and on one level, I realize this is a belief accepted in childhood, and that this will take time to transform into no longer to be scared of giving, as in sharing perspectives and tweaking mistakes on reality as this is a process of realizing in practice that value being life.

When and as I find myself reacting as a self judgement of insignificance, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I realize the significance of life, as being the value, and as something that is practical and right here in front of me.

I am going to walk this character of ‘ insignificance’ further.

Thank You for reading!

Day 684 Continuation of the Caregiver Archetype. Day 2.

In relation to the caregiver archetype, I have had pressure on the back of my neck for some time. Also, there appears to be some pressure behind my eyes. When I would go and look at the pressure behind my eyes, I would experience thoughts about my sisters. It was that my sisters and I all look the same, especially around our eyes. 

I had also realized that this had to do with worry about others. And it is a character I have even discussed with one of my sisters. It is that ‘ my mother always must have something to worry about’  One day, within this I noticed a heaviness coming from the bottom of the eye down into the check, and this was sadness, much like the clown pictures where the eyes are painted to look sad. I define this ‘ presence’ as the weight of the world, as though it is all sad. This sadness is creating a definition about the world without having any real details. Behind sadness is a giving up about the world, where the self believes that no change can happen, and/or myself is good because myself tried, so it is not myself’s fault. This is turning a negative into a good, where I, as this self in this situation, define myself as good.  I become a belief that I was/am responsible. Yet this is a polarized and charged belief. It is not the practice of solution, it is the practice of justification.

It is like, or is, that I move as a body of knowledge and information as ideas, beliefs and opinions instead of being practical and looking at the details of the physical. To remember here, that if the adults in the world around us are moving as knowledge and information, and as absorbent beings, we take this in and practice it day in and day out, in our formative years, then we become this, and mis-take reality through a lack of practice in attention to the details of what is the means of this knowledge and information memory that develops by default of not practicing becoming aware of the physical world around us as who and what we really are as the starting point.

I look back in my immediate past and one question I had asked myself is how to develop community, as in how to develop relationships where I never had to lie, as not being self honest would bring burdens and cause the development of relationships that would not stand as a community.  I realized, or so I believed that I had little if no practice in building relationships that developed long term trust, where there was an ease and respect, with no sense of ever needing to lie. 

In a moment, as a movement, I remember one time physically leaning towards another person, like to force this kind of relationship. It was like a pull in a direction instead of an assessment in real time.  I remember thinking ‘ what was that” lol.

Since I have allowed myself to move as knowledge and information, the switch from this habit to real time awareness, takes time, as catching the accepted and allowed habits, decoding them, and being practical is a new practice for me, I must give myself empathy to review and investigate every move that I am from one moment to the next. This need not become a burden, because in the practice of and as this, the gift is in the doing,  to develop recognition of what I have accepted and allowed as a measure within myself and the practical steps as what it means to be present and live here, equal and one to life, as physical in formation.

If I go into an idea, with any charged value, I create an agenda, or expectation, and as a consequence am not here, present and attentive to reality, the physical.  I am racing within myself, as knowledge and information. 

I am competing. I am in survival mode. Within this, the inversion from moving as knowledge and information into being present as life will not happen. And I end up scaring myself, based on my expectations as to what the future may or may not bring or exist as. Within being this science of the mind only, being here is lost.  And, I lose all significance because my directives are insignificance, as false positives that are justifications based on expectations that are essentially ideas, and I become a general sense of sadness.  

Interesting at this point in writing, I remember my father reprimanding me about something, and telling me I am not smart enough. His voice is charged. It is as though he is disappointed that I was not responsible,  more in the order as, ‘ Why did you not solve the problem?’ or 

Why did you not figure it out?’ ( this an expression of himself which I took personally) as once he said to me that I was stronger than some other people in my life. Thus, I run at times as a belief that I must be stronger, that then layers with the Caregiver Archetype.  This “ stronger as belief character”  creates a friction and conflict within myself, where in a mathematical sense as the equation of the words, I am both ‘ not solving the problem’ and ‘ the stronger’.  

Since this information that is not necessarily bad, was absorbed in a charged moment, it is polarized and racing within and as me, as my information, experience.

It is to realize that slowing down and investigating movement in reality, which is part of the steps of learning anything as learning something means developing awareness of it, which is something that builds meaning that mis-takes are not-enough-information to build a solid abstract about something to the point where one can move with out bewilderment or confusion and integrate new qualities about something, even when it comes to encountering new unexpected relationships. Here I can slow down and take real care of what it means to grow into a tree, so-to-speak, and be empathetic with this process of journeying to life, as I would want from another.

Hence instead of defining myself as the measure I absorbed as ‘ why did I not figure this out’ and  the polarity of ‘ being stronger’ I relate being stronger to knowledge and information accumulation and then begin to define myself as stronger. When this does not work out, I generalize and decide I am not pretty enough. This mind consciousness, moves as a web of limited values. It has nothing to do with being life, being present, existing in equality and oneness to reality as the means of this limited expression of self as life, as energy,  that can only exist on a physical host. The physical is life information. Energy, as mind projections is a pollution on the physical. We need only look at this world to see the consequences of out actions that lack respect for the physical to see, realize and understand the destructive nature of inequality to nature/the physical.

I am going to write some self forgiveness on ‘ stronger’ and ‘ Why did you not figure this out?” and then write some self corrective statements in relation to the Caregiver Archetype. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a measure as a belief, as the words “ stronger” in relation to believing that i must be stronger, or that i am stronger based on something said to me in my past.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to stress myself out within and as believing that I must be stronger in the future.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that “ I must figure something out’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a belief that I must be stronger because of a belief that things can be figured out, and that if I do not figure things out than I am weak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am weak and within this to become bewildered within and as the conflict of being supposedly stronger and ‘ why did you not figure this out’ which I then defined myself as being weak because I did not figure something out and believing that I was supposed to be responsible which was to be stronger.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an idea of being stronger.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an idea of being weak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a conflict within and as me, in and as ‘ supposed to be strong’ within and as the words from my childhood of ‘ you are stronger’ and ‘ why did I not figure this out’ where a conflict of bewilderment and confusion became what i defined myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the confusion of this mixed message, and ground myself in the practical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to be that ‘ stronger’ and within this to move into a caregiver archetype, where I believed that I had to figure things out and be the stronger I lead myself to believe based on what was the intel expressed to me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that it was my responsibility because I was ‘ stronger’.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to when and as I moved as gathering information to become intellectual, to become the character of ‘ stronger’ to not see, realize and understand that when and as my information caused conflict under the guise of a good as a belief of being stronger lead to “ why did you not figure this out” where i defined myself as being weak, as the information that was me as being weak, as in not being enough.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame myself, not seeing realizing and understand the practical physical world around me, as I moved in self interest, without regard for life as who and what I am as life is physical in form.

When and as I sense a conflict coming up, within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess where I am within and as a belief that I must be stronger, and where I believe that I am to blame for not figuring something out, and I slow way down, and I assess the moment, to see, realize and understand the practical here, to become responsible for and as life, in considering life as the physical, to take that which is good and does no harm, in ways that share an understanding of the practical as I would want for myself as this is being self responsible as who and what I am here.

To be continued. Self corrective Statements in regard to the Caregiver Archetype. It is cool to realize the layers in relation to this as I write this out.

Thank you for reading!

Day 683 The archetype of the caregiver. My journey to life.

The Caregiver Archetype

Placing value in being needed by others.

This has been character that I have been aware of for some time. I realize that this is not being self responsible, it is seeking meaning through being needed by others. It is character picked up from my mother.  It involves worrying  about others and where they are within themselves. 

This is myself wanting to fix what is going on in others, as my immediate family and friends etc., ironically focusing on them to make sure they are  moving in ways that support them. It is being a mother as I define it,  instead of focusing on being responsible myself. 

It is like having something to worry about to give myself purpose.

Yet it is not really a purpose, because it is not myself modeling being practical in respect of physical reality to enable self responsibility to be what is developed. Instead it is an act of self interest. It is avoiding being present here and being self responsible, I am in effect avoiding being myself, and being responsible as life as who and what I really am.  It is as though I have no real faith in life. I am the one accepting this, as no one can be this for me, only I can.

It also means that I must look at how I am fearing to really stand up and be real, be present, respect all that is here. This would mean stepping out of this role, and naturally causing conflict with what has been accepted and allowed on this earth, that is so visible all around, which is a lack of accepting respect for this actual real world, as the physical in the face of others as the society of men who have moved in self interest, instead of being themselves as life which is to be and do what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hide from being self responsible within and as believing that worrying about my children, or what is going on in the world, as something that gives me meaning, or purpose, when this is an abdication of myself as life, an abdication of respect for and as life here, as life is physical, and practical, mathematical, thus it is more to model and live this respect to allow others to become practical through what it is that I focus upon as what is real, as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from myself as life as the presence of myself here, naturally able as life to respect  the physical and live the practice of being physical which is a practice of being practical and focused in common sense of reality, as the physical here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that being a caregiver is being in respect of the physical and the practical nature of living as being physical as that which is right here in front of me, and is me, equal and one here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that being life, that caring for life, means paying respect as in focusing here, considering all things and being present as focused equal and one with and as the physical, where each and every human being can practice in common sense of what is here, realizing, as self realizing what is best for all, which is what is best for self, thus it is for myself to express the care of being present here, which is being myself,  where as this there is no need to seek meaning as I am life, as the physical here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate myself as life, as placing value in being needed by others, which is a  separation from being in common sense of what is real, as what is right in front of me as the physical world here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within and as thinking about caring for another,  I am in effect allowing a belief that I am stronger than others and causing  myself to become a state of worry and fear about them, not seeing realizing and understanding that I am also believing them to be weak,  which is focusing on weakness instead of being present here, in the practice of being life, as this is a physical world where the real care is to be present and in respect of the practical common sense of a visible physical world that is built in common sense practical ways, the gift of life, something that can be understood.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from being focused here, as this appears to be difficult when in reality this is the gift of life to be understood to accept creation and to enjoy creation here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in placing myself in being a care giver, I am accepting a belief that I am stronger and another is weaker,  a value judgement,  which is a fear of being myself here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to pity others, which is a lack of presence in equality and oneness in respect of the practical that is the physical world around me, a nature that moves as solution to and towards the rewards being life in expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to pity others, as this is a separation from living common sense of the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in worrying about another, I am not here, present and focused on the practice of life, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to call what is here by name, and in so doing, call the respect of life, in and as every word I speak here, to sound what is real, and thereby model life, to self empower through the focus of who and what I am, as life, here, where being myself as life, reverberates as who and what I am, where the living and being of and as this is clear so that what is expressed is life and what is attended to is life, where what I am as what I do is life in every moment, as this presence and focus is shared as who and what I am here as the natural ability to absorb what is here, and express respect for what is here as the physical, is visible, as being self responsible for and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a behavior of worrying about others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to pity others, not seeing realizing and understand that this is myself believing that I am stronger than another, which is being a belief within myself, and not myself being focused here, in respect of what is life in expression, that is mathematical and of and as common sense here.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understand that being present here, as the focus of myself is a practical movement, in respect of the physical,  which means being the practice of respecting the formation of life as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use the guise of care to place value in being needed by others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to pity.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to worry about others, to worry about my children, to worry about people in my life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect care to worry.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define care within worry.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the word care and from worry through defining care within worry in separation from myself .

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate myself as life, through creating a value around caring for others as what I allow to define me, in separation from respecting life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within and as the limited value system, I accepted and allowed myself to become a character of care to give myself value, as I accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others within a narrow means of self interest in survival, and defined myself as not being pretty enough, and within this self pity, I then project this outwards to avoid seeing myself’s own limited accepted and allowed value judgements, to avoid being practical here, as in standing through the storm of this as what men have accepted and allowed, where I was a child, and instead of being practical in common sense of all life as who and what I am and the means that absorbed the limited value system. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a belief that I lacked in one value which was a starting point of judgement, and choose another to define who and what I am,  all within and as a fear of being practical and respectful of all life, understanding form and function of what is a physical life in formation here as this earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this, having accepted a belief that ‘ I am not pretty enough’ which is a separation from being practical here, as a physical being,  I accepted and allowed a limited value system.

 I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that within and as allowing this judgement I believed in limited values and moved into survival before life, seeking to survive/profit from values in separation from the practice of who and what I am, as a physical life information. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand such a separation would lead to confusion and bewilderment in self directing self in ways that cause no harm to myself and others, on this physical, practical and mathematical world that is life information.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as a child, as myself as life, I absorbed the life that was around me, as my parents, and within this, practiced what I measured as what I was exposed to, and believed this to be more real than the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the mis-takes on reality as the physical, accepting and allowing value judgements to define who and what I am would do, and in following these value judgements,  absorbed from my mother, and the adults around me, I separated from practical common sense of who and what I am as a physical beingness, and through this allowance became the consequence of and as bewilderment when I allowed limited values to direct me that lead to an absence of respect for the physical world leading to mistakes on reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the consequence of accepting limited values as beliefs about who and what I am as I move into this narrow focus as ideas about a good and bad, specifically as a belief that I am not pretty enough and choosing another value as ' care' to define who and what I am, a false positive as this is a guise to be ' good' in order to survive when overall this is an abdication of myself as life.

To be continued. Thank you for reading!

Day 682 Is the metered measure within, as personality, grounded without as the practical necessity of real living on a physical world?

The longer I walk the process of my journey back to life, I realize how much music is very similar to this process. In music one can sometimes play a piece that changes the time signature from measure to measure. This means adjusting one’s sense of measure in time and space in a moment, from measure to measure.

As I slow down and look at what I have accepted and allowed as a mind consciousness system, the meter and measure of this is like a song that is quantum, meaning it has measures that have patterns and tenors as qualities that change in color and duration and form, they are like a metered measure that I have allowed to define who and what I am. 

In this, the mind consciousness measure that I have accepted and allowed is a metered form, thus it is in many ways a mathematical form that because it was accepted can be realized for what it is and changed. The starting point is to realize that before I was any of this information, I was not yet defined by culture and class and the education as the experiences that  are who and what I am as a personality of that information selected and used to define me, which I then protected myself within and as. 

For a long time now, in interacting with others, the racing measure of belief, opinion and idea, and my own movement within and as my accepted and allowed metered measure of information, was too much to sort through, it all seemed like thus huge entity that was impossible to infiltrate. And yet, that ability to slow down and start picking away as the measure of beliefs and the consequences of fear as loss of such measures, appeared too thick and too deep to sense and then direct within and without.

Yet, if I look at music, at moving measure, I can slow down and listen to the point where this is not so overwhelming, because it is in many ways a song, a mathematical form that has duration, tempo etc. And it is always a perspective about reality, as it is not reality, it is like a movie that is what separates us from being present and caring, steady and resourceful in our daily living. Our daily living is here, on this physical world, this starting point, this “before” a personality began to dominate our self directives, which are our actions.

I have used a protection and self defense measure within and as my chest area for so long that it actually hurts to change this. When there is pressure there, the only thing I have found to help is to change my meter so- to- speak. This means slowing way down and looking here, seeing the meter and measure of what is before me. This means that I have to feel, with all of me, and then within this, it means that I have to respond.  I must become self responsible to and towards that. What I  have found is that when I slow down and describe that, as the behaviors and the consequence of such behaviors and how they play out in real time, I place myself within a picture show and describe that picture show. This has to be done in such a way that the person to whom I talk can begin to see the measured show in more detail.

An example of this happened this past week. I was talking to a woman who had some issues with weight. I said to her that boredom can be as stressful as having too much to do. Overall, this is a lack of real focus in the moment. Our full ability is not in employment. She looked at me and said that made so much sense. In her case, there were habits of eating to ‘ fill the time’ and relax from juggling a busy day. It is as though I am within a performing orchestra, I can stand in the measure sung as the words and movements and begin to call things by name in the grounding order of slowing down and seeing the movement with all of me. It is calling things out and then work on building the structure to allow the real potential of what could exist as a living that is of more ease  because being present and realizing our within movements and how we can ground ourselves in the practical and use the practical to order in ways that are not as overwhelming as we might believe from a perspective of that racing behavior that is a perspective of reality and not what is real.

Within this, I must begin to trust myself, which means that I must touch what is here, remain in touch with the physical. This is an active thing, it is, in a sense to love all things as in not fearing them. This, through a process of elimination, means that love is in a way something that is easy. Love is what is natural when the absence of resistance is here as who and what I am as I no longer reject the physical world or fear the metered measures of belief, opinion and idea as a mind consciousness system that is a memory only and is of a practiced measure, so it is often repetitive..  Even here, as I write this out, I become calm, steady, even with a sense of the pulls of value judgements that I have accepted and allowed to define who and what I am as habits of information of a perspective that was me in separation from the value being equality and oneness to and as life here as the physical. I realize that there is a lot to learn, and a lot of practice within and as being what is the real nature of and as me, which is to love or evolve into being present and respectful of the physical as life information.

Is it not time to realize that that which has been made huge , as a mind consciousness, must become as tiny as it really is, in relation to the physical, and ground ourselves in the practice of walking with two feet on the ground and moving the shadows of separation into their real significance which is but a fleck in time and within this, to see, realize and understand that the value is the physical world as this is life information that is creation. And this creation happens when we all work together moving as individuals and yet one. This would look much like a flock of birds, dancing and moving fluidly with ease and shaping this world into a living and breathing expression of the joy of creation.

It is time to walk ourselves back into the physical wold, to practice the value being life. One can start within walking the DIP Lite process to understand the warping of reality as the information we define ourselves within and as, that separates our real potential into limited values that become emotions and feelings. The emotion being the fear and the feeling being the justification for not having sorted out the fear. The fear a momentary loss of self as life being present and here.

Thank you for reading1

Day 681 Our greatest gift becomes our greatest weakness and is the means to change.

I had a moment yesterday where a woman arrived while I was working with a child. The child was taking an assessment and the woman came and called out her name from a distance. I went and said to the woman that the child would be done in a moment. The woman reacted. 

Yet she turned away and stopped calling out to the student. I paused for a moment and then went up to her. I apologized for coming up and with the means to ask her to stop. She said some words to me, in a quiet temper. I then agreed with her.  

I could see her quiet down. It is like embracing something and not reacting to it, believing that it is an indication of me in any way. 

I also noticed that there was some fear in me, because I did not want the woman to be angry with me, my fear was that she would remain in ill will.  Also, I did have the thought that her reaction was over the top.  Yet while these things were moving slightly within me, I placed myself her in shoes and in an understanding of how insecure we can get about ourselves. 

Before I can change, I have to admit what it is that I am.  This means slowing down and assessing outside of a reaction.  For me, it was to calm the waters, so-to-speak, no matter what.

Within this process, as I agreed with the woman, I could see the ‘ sound’ of her, the tenor of her change. It was watching a demeanor move into calm, the storm quickly calming.

I also spent time with a boy in a state of spite. The moment he went into any fear he went into spite. Everything “sucked” for him.  Many times within working with him,  he would become calm, quiet down, and move forward. The absence of spite within him, revealed a very gentle and willing person. That gentle person was much more receptive than the reactive person who had begun, for reasons I cannot fathom in exact detail,  to practice spite, again and again.

Within all of this, it makes it obvious that we become what we practice. What we practice, in measure, as belief about the world around us, is what we become. Hence, we all learn the same way, we learn through repeating what we use as a measure, and a belief is a measure. Again, this is why the media repeats the same information again and again, a story that is a lie by omission.  And because we as humans, absorb, which is how we take in measure in all ways, so it is quantum, if we take in a measure and repeat, to understand it , and we do not investigate the measure, or, place it into a real life context,  we become that.  

In this, our greatest gift becomes our greatest weakness.  And that gift enables us to assess what we have accepted and change it. And that ability to change, can be used to assess the world around us because this is our absorbent ability that is the same as our ability to assess. Thus, nothing can define us, but what we accept and allow.

Overall, this is why self forgiveness in every moment to and towards all energetic reactions, as emotions and feelings, is so important. This is why being patient until the waters calm, and the person becomes soft, in and as gentle and open, willing to change, is necessary to get to a starting point that can and will move as what is best for all, because ultimately, that greatest gift is by nature a willing participant in life as this is the real value.