Monday, March 28, 2016

Day 690 Changing my own self absorption.

There is a tension in my right arm, this is information, and it is heavy as the information that is me is limited, it does not fit into the physical world, move with here, with ease. I have accepted and allowed ideas, beliefs and opinions to define what is real. I have used my presence to built a construct within, as a memory, as an entity of mis-information to define who and what I am. I have accepted and allowed this to direct me. When I become aggressive, as in pushing and forcing information onto here, as my own measure/experience/culture/background/7 generations/ value judgements I mis-take my ability to be aware of my own constructions within ONLY paying attention to that inner information. I am so involved in my own survival suit/character/personality/self definitions that that which reads that inner information lacks being present in reality as myself and as the physical world.

This inner information moves in a stagnant manner, heavy and resistant to change. It moves more as substantiation of itself than being in consideration of what is real, as the surrounding physical world. The solution is to align that within to the without, through rebuilding that within to equalize to the without as the physical world.

Thus, when I tense up, it is a resistance to change. It is me wanting to force my own insight onto the world around me. This is not necessarily bad, it can be a cool moment of reflection, to assess and investigate what I believe, and build through cross reference that information with the reality around me, meaning to look at all things, for example.  

My ability to sense, can understand the parts and look at the physical world, and continue awareness of the within and the without. I mean, we can go outside and look at the trees, and see, very clearly when they are in abundance or lack through the expression of their foliage. It is right in front of us, and we know the building blocks. 

After all, we know how to take care of a race horse, we know its limits, and we know the needs of that physical body. It is astounding that one practice reveals the means and yet we are so self involved that we lack translating that means into another similar situation.  

And yet, that lack reflects the self absorption  focused within narrow parameters of belief  ' within '  ONLY. The key here is self absorption, which reveals that we absorb, we become what we focus on, and that we can absorb, and that that is our ability to assess and investigate and BUILD within and without. So simple, so evident, so right in front of us. 

The chaos is the separation into believing the information that was not present at birth, or not yet the seven generations of information resounding within, that occupies that ability to absorb into becoming self absorbed. The ability to absorb, is indebted/enslaved to limited information, ubiquitous as what humans have accepted and allowed for eons. The physical the means to ground us back into what is real.

Thus, because I am a product of this system, in every breath, in every moment, it is for me to humble myself, to hear the hum of the physical, to see that which is constant, and to stand with and as that. The real ‘ hum’ is to ground myself into silence, that can here the information of the physical world.  I mean, this would be to hear the grass grow. This is something I cannot even fathom, as I am a product of the present system, and yet, who and what I am as life, can become this with practice. Within this, I can real-eyes that everything that is here, is me, in another form, in another life information, and that I cannot stand without what is here. I am like a cell, a part, and yet, one. This shares the one and the many. This quantifies , much like the fungal network that sustains whole forests of trees. It is an information network in support of the parts and the whole, each part individual and yet one.  Our present military industrial complex is a war in rejection of this, and yet, cannot exist without this. This respect for all things, is how life exists. It is like a self sustaining fabric that by design is oneness and equality. It is the principle of the golden rule, to give as one would receive. It is the mathematical equation of self forgiveness. It is the sound of equality. It is the only choice. It is what I am as what and who I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist looking here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist expressing myself here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in every breath in every moment I can ground myself here, and self forgive to investigating and assessing the measure within and without, as my past accepted and allowed belief constructs that lacked a consideration of all things, and become the practice of equalizing my presence here, to respect within and without the real symbols as the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as polarized energetic entities within and as myself, self absorbed within limited constructions of opinions and ideas about reality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use my greatest strength to and towards self absorption, instead of considering all things, taking that which is good and does no harm, to realize my symbiotic potential as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I tense up within and as me, I am resisting here, becoming self absorbed, wanting to force my polarized value judgements onto reality, instead of humbling myself here, respecting all things, giving as I would receive.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not live my innate self responsibility as who and what I am, as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist values, to not see in every moment, in every breath, the values expressed without resistance and to them give as I would receive, to walk the practical, as what does no harm, and what brings limitation into equality and oneness with the physical infrastructure here, as the basic needs of what it means to live in abundance on a physical planet.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how self absorbed I have accepted and allowed myself to be, in protection and self defense, mirroring the present system without.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the inferiority of my own self absorption in relation to the life that is the means of me, here as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand around all the desires as beliefs and opinions and ideas as what I have allowed to be a self absorption is my own construct accepted and allowed that is my separation from myself as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am the source of my own fear.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that I am the source of my own isolation from life, through my own accepted and allowed self absorption in self interest, resisting cross reference with the nature of the physical world, which is self forgiveness, a practice of respect for the physical world, as assessment and investigation of the physical world around me, in every breath, here. to become in practice, in thought word and deed what does no harm, and considers all things.

When and as I find myself resisting here, as in lacking a respect for all forms, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I assess what is here, to see, realize and understand what is here as the physical.


When and as I find myself tensing up within and as me, I stop and I breath, and I self forgive beliefs, opinions and ideas, realizing my own survival behavior as fear of loss about information, about possible ‘ what if’ situations as imaginations as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become absorbed with as information within and as me, and I quantify the information within and humble myself to the information without, to assess and investigate, until I see, realize and understand a consideration of all things, to live self forgiveness in every moment.



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