I spent time with someone yesterday and had a cool moment in hearing their perspective, as what they have lived and done in their life. It was about being in a space where within the morality, a false morality, the voices in their head was that they should not be there, and yet, or, and also, a sense that of course they could be there. They were there, they were processing what was there, they were doing the doing of what being ‘ there’ involved.
This brought up this voice within me, that I have had before of and as ‘ this cannot be so”, meaning, somehow, what is before me, as what I am to believe, simply cannot be so. I was so involved in the thing I was seeing as something that should ‘ not be so’ and my own sense of that thing ‘ not being so’ , ONLY. It is like being stuck between two things and not seeing beyond them.
And yet, if I look at music, at the process of building and expanding within music, I can move into more than what i allow within myself as my focus as a state of being within me, as ‘ it cannot be so.” I ask myself why I did not apply what I did with myself as my actions within playing, to the greater reality around me? How is it that I could be so stuck in a limited state of being in one area, and be doing what would be the way out in another? It is like having different languages going on, where one moves and another is stagnant.
It is moving beyond what is, actually is, as a state of being, outside of a catch 22.
In talking with the person, who realized they had a belief about their capacity, which was practical and common sensical, and at the same time be occupied with a firewall of belief, invisible, yet distracting, consuming, as the belief system around them, that made no sense in terms of real life doing and being, I realized how important it is for the instrument that is us, to be able to see more than reaction and nebulous acknowledgement within a narrow confines of a morality that is of polarized value judgements so consuming, and yet in living reality so intangible as a relationship, meaning, regulating behavior as the invisible and illusory is made visible, that to be able to do so, to be able to begin within a tiny movement, one must step into recognition of what self is, and what is believed to exist around one, as that invisible yet determining action held in place through the power of suggestion or presumption.
In music, one must practice extension of the self into many forms, forms in synch and forms counter to what one is sounding, where that counter force actually helps define one’s shape and form thus counter action need not be resisted. One must have the tools, and the momentum to catch the forms, to define the illusive and the practical, to be able to be present in the observation and movable in terms of being objective and subjective. This is the nature of self as utilizing one’s awareness and not allowing one’s self to get stuck in a narrow focus. Overall there is nothing wrong with moving into a narrow focus as this is how to check one’s self, and build a more perfect spell that becomes a sentence that one speaks to stabilize one’s self here. To be able to do this, is of such value. It is what so many pay so much for, and yet, it is so as of yet, clear but by more idea than practical application. Though the divide comes more into focus the more movement one makes, lives, applies into walking this within the simplest of things as practical applications that get the natural ability of men moving through the eye of the needle as this movement implies, is a natural changeability, a natural insight ability, a natural presence.
This was what was so cool about what I experienced yesterday, to meet someone and to see them live a moment, though needing momentum, and the means to define, as remembering a state that questioned the difference between common sense and a false morality that made no sense.