A dream coat of a mind-consciousness projection Day 777

If I want presence of and as all things, I have to become that presence. This means I have to hear the life around me as the physical reality.  Facing the metaphysical bubbles of self interest, that move as a colored energetic emotional swirl, visible in the subtle and visible strings pulling the flesh this way and that, are but small, in comparison to this living practical and physical reality. Ever present, if what is unique - lol ‘uni-que’ is like one quest, self honesty. . If I fear that, I am fearing myself, because despite the mannered values that are monopolistic, there, is always something unique that cannot hide, in each individual. If that remains constant, despite the separation into persona, can I realize myself within and reacting to bringing that forward? 

I write here, to script things out, to see where I am, and to construct ‘ takes’ in my process of birthing life into the physical. I realize, in learning how to crawl, there will be mis-takes. they are always gifts towards balance. It is learning to play an instrument. 

I watched a video of someone this week. In the situation I had been half listening to a person speaking, as the focus in the interaction had  changed from one thing to another. While I was busy transitioning, I moved, in the room, towards a video. My presence was still in the previous moment. I saw the person in the video, in the whole context from another lens. The person appeared to me to be someone I know, who I have watched on videos many many times. Form that lens I thought, why does this person in the present video have a flattened nose! lol, that was the thought that came up, from a presence colored with immediate comparison of past forms imposing themselves on the moment. Not necessarily a ‘ bad’ , yet myself not immediately present. When I moved closer to the video, and the person came more into focus, as did I, what I could see is the movements of the person I had delegated to the image in my mind, and what was in the forefront as I picked up more details of the physical movements in the person in the video. It was like a morphing of many different things; my experiences, from many dimensions, at a distance of experiences to more self understood ticks in my own movements. The person in the video became their own person, and appeared like a kind of puppet, moved by many emotions. This hit me so hard, it appeared so extreme. I recognized some of my own patterns. All I can say is that when it is said we walk in a valley of smoke and mirrors, known as emotions and feelings, based on beliefs, opinions and ideas, as accumulated thoughts creating actions and deeds, we are doing this, and it is extreme. Yet, at the same time, it is so small, a tiny part of ourselves. Though this is as far as I got, because to say I sense what the wholeness might be, I cannot, too in focus on the techno colored swirling in the flesh, was I. It is like ‘ oh shit!” lol.

I have a tendency to move to the greater stage, as the world platform, perhaps to avoid seeing my own self.  I find bringing the movements of the larger scale, in relation to my immediate environment helpful. As though understanding something from a distance helps me to face myself.  And yes, this is the same game as the use of metaphor. The parables, as the symbols, the objects made subject, enable me to begin to realize what I adhere to as reaction, that can then be brought back to self. Like backwards analysis. Is this a form of hiding? 

The practical application, the solution is always right here. The power is too or more in my name, as what calling something out by name, bring the obvious here, and makes it re-cognizable in what it is. Calling things out by name, removes the control of them because it is through lack that things become confusing, and this, accepted by the self, because reality is always right here. This is how the whole public school, be design, is the means of the creation of cognitive dissonance, which because of its starting point to be such, has created, as accumulated into such, as we see all around us, in reality, in every town, as the growing cognitive disorders, known as ADHD, ADD, autism and dyslexia. It is a processing disorder, done by acceptance and allowance, done by design. Memorizing the stories of the victors, creates a interference of form, distracting from the practical, and causing a disconnect from real capacity, which is an acknowledgement of capacity. It is the maintenance of creating bubbles of information to direct the person, causing mis-takes in practical living. Cognitive dissonance is acknowledgment of separation. It is like being stuck in rudimentary learning, or RULE I MENTally have acclimated to and as that directs me, where what I was in the box, of sounded storied information, does not fit into the real math as the living and breathing world around me. After all, we all admit that we need to get back to nature, which is the admission that we need to INCLUDE all things, as the physical. Our segmented rulings, as our beliefs, that we have habituated to the extent they are more real than what is here, is a interference math, that does not fit into the sound of life, that is all things around us. We need to wake up all of who and what we are.  We need to play the instrument of and as who and what we are here.

Okay, so I am watching this video, of this person, and I am astounded by the moving and swirling self directing beliefs, within this person. I begin to sort, to find some grounding. It is from here, that I realized to look for what is eternal, and yet, realize, to some degree, I avoid because it means really looking at myself. Yet, as the same time, because I am of mankind,  I find myself somewhat overwhelmed. As a man, having information is calming. On a quantum level, things move in quantum ways, meaning one does not learn one part to then add, one must being many parts into balance; clarifying more, also clarifies what yet needs to become more focused. Meaning , I can focus on the lack ONLY, or I can realize, as well, the sense of being in calm the capacity to realize information lends. 

Reacting this to another event this week, brings forward how much in reaction I can allow myself to get lost within, was a meeting where a person constantly used endearments when speaking with others. Meaning, her frames of information - which were interesting and insightful- were always framed with ‘ honey’, or ‘ dear’ or ‘ sweetie.’ I find such annoying, because it is not real endearment, it is endearment used to soften a person before making a statement. Effective in some ways, distracting in others. It presupposes a deeper connection, it is like giving a present to place a person in ‘ giving mode,’ before one has any idea of what one agrees to and towards. Yet this is my take on it, despite it being an obvious tool of control of protection. It cannot determine who and what I am unless I allow it. Within this, I could feel the pull, the polarizing as the sound as the words of value judgments coming forward. I was both aware of the device, annoyed by it, and the movement within me, of and as the lending of pity for me, in a way. I responded within me as realizing the self pity I accepted and allowed.  It is being pulled into a personification, to change the narrative and never allow it to move beyond a certain framework. What is real, might just be uncovered. Since hate is always self hate, meaning we know we are not being responsible, self responsible,  wanting acknowledgement of my own self pity, is like being told , “ it is okay, yes it is sad.” and then not moving into introspection and self correction. Yet, this is the mode in which we are stuck! This is how limitation is used to suppress a state of being where there are no problems only solutions, in this physical and practical world. This is the story of a mind consciousness of separation, in plain sight. 

Dare I LOOK at what is eternal, and stand here? This means, DARE I LOOK at myself? DARE I process this reality, no longer being effected by a false morality composed of limitation, as the game of good and evil instead of respecting life that is physical, to realize what does no harm? There is no other choice. 

If I look at taxation, I can see everything we do in this reality with a construct of legal means is imposed as accepted, as the starting point is ourselves, creating the ending point/construct. We are living in ‘ going to the movies’ mode, where we pay to watch our own disassociation of ourselves. In order for that tax - to live- to end, each must accept this life. The gift is that sense one gets when enough information is realized to lend a sense of clear self direction, because we are happy, truly happy when we are effectively engaged, and unhappy when we are not. 

I can become present here, remain steady with here. My projections are okay, as I can recognize them and ground them. I can see the valley of good and evil, superimposed on the physical, like a swirling techno colored DREAM coat, using metaphor and parable to hide within itself, through distraction of a storied mis-information in separation and of fragmented knowledge and information made larger than reality as the physical. LOL, when will we realize that this was done by the supposed reptilians, and was a further intensifying of what we had allowed within ourselves, thus there is no one to blame and no reptilians doing anything to us, as it could only be done through acceptance. Time to respect the living, breathing, physical reality as who and what we really are here. As life, we are untouchable. As personality, we are walking death of life.

What we are, is right in front of us. What have we accumulated ? Day 754

I remember this concert I did in college. I played this very modern piece, that had no conventional melody as we are accustomed to. IT had multiple time signatures, so one had to change one sense of space in the beat almost every other measure. It really demanded being stable and changing up the space.

After playing this piece many times, in rehearsals and in performances, I had a moment where I realized the piece was not anything I had ever played. I saw it as more of a construction of forms in space. Meaning, it was more like walking around in a shape. One time while performing it, I felt that I as walking in someone’s kitchen. To me, it was like the composer was trying to compose a memory from his past. 

I had forgotten about this, until I, this week saw a video of a holograph of the parts of the physical human body, where one could take the computer generated imagery and either have the whole from the outer visuals, peel them away, or click them away, to see the layers of the systems that compose the human physical body. I thought that it would be cool if we could do that with trees and forests and oh! so may things.

I also have been looking at stories. My mother had said she can’t read history without it being in the context of a story. I asked myself why this is, why for some it is difficult to read the story line of history directly, and that need a context of a story to absorb history. Perhaps, it is that they need the events of history placed in a context more on the ground, more in the scenario of daily life, to make it more real? Makes sense in a way.

Also, I was looking at writing out time lines of the composition of what I have allowed and accepted within and as me, as thoughts of ideas, opinions, beliefs, shadowing wants, desires and needs, a story of information that becomes a resonance as it accumulated and leads to emotional/feeling bodies composing a personality, that directs me, influences my actions, as the information in the machine that is me. I am looking at this, my composition, and the ability of technology to show the real physical storied/layered form, and how humans needs compositions of stories in a more grounded context. And, what happened with the piece of music I played years ago, ( there are some others too) that was so different from what I had culturally been exposed to. Somehow, all of this creates a picture of how we work, of what we have allowed, and of the potential inherent in all of these parts. After all, in the arts, one of the things one achieves, is to see the sum of the parts all moving together. This means that one is processing all those parts, with ease, because one had intimacy with them.  It is somewhat like what is necessary in playing a musical instrument, where one must check within one’s self the body, and the music, the smallest being checked and the whole, even out to the audience. THIs is, as I see it, a more correct use of the imagination, the ability to ‘ move through the eye of the needle’ and see the forms around one, the living physical compositions around one. 

What we humans have done, is gotten stuck in a resonant emotional feeling body, that defines us, as we cannot see what we don’t know, what we have not consciously allowed ourselves to sense, to feel, to realize. What we have not allowed ourselves to practice. I mean, there i a school in India where children learn to use a sense, of sensing with presence, ( as what I call this here) objects in front of them blind folded! All these things that are here, showing us to ourselves, our capacity is so right in front of us. 

In this state we are in conflict , meaning it is so unequal to here, that we are, in a way, from my perspective at the moment, so resistant, to ‘ in holding’ of our construction,  to what is here, to the real storied information that is the physical that is the instrument, that is the means of expression as life. I mean, imagine being able to be in synch with the forms around us, as what I experienced on probably a lesser level, with the music,  imagine being able to sense the sound formations of the trees and all that is in the forest, to know this so well, that one can pan in and pan out and also sense the whole and the parts in a quantum way? Imagine walking in the music of life, that is the physical here? Imagine, instead of being in fear, in tension, in anxiety, in resistance - because it is work to resist this!-  being in synch, as ease, with the forms around us, and using one’s senses to become intimate with the math as the forms as the stories of inform, as the physical here, as the forests and all that composes this living reality, the real story? I mean, on another level, why are we fed so many pre hyper-sexualised failure tales from day one, that are read, again and again, and again and again, made into movies, with songs to memorize etc. etc.? Why are we not taught to be in sense and awareness of what is the living fabric of reality all around us? Why do we not become the ‘ father rejoicing in the son, and the son rejoicing in the father” Why do the words exist, as ‘ though I walk in the valley of the shadow of good and evil, I see no evil’ ? What does that mean in relation to what  I am saying?  Is it not the image and likeness of how a separation from life would be, as this also pictures the lack of presence and processing of what is right under our feet? LOOK! 

I mean, why are our children placed in  box, where words are so slowed down, moving in such a stagnant manner, where we practice using those words, those notes those sounds to memorize a picture, a form, and abstract, that is so removed from the physical world around us, and done as memory, which is in meter and tempo and time, incredibly slow! Remember, we become what we practice, and thus, if our rhythm is of a certain tempo, and we repeat that again and again, we become that tempo. Like a hamster on a wheel we acclimate to that tempo, and then we get stuck in the resonance we generate as it, and become just like a train running on a track no longer able to see what is real right outside the window. Would this fit into the idea proposed so long ago, of walking in a valley of the shadow of good and evil, a resonant construction  caught in its own web? I would say, yes, this is what we humans have been doing for a very long time. It is time to deconstruct this, and accept ourselves as life, and stand here, to accumulate a presence in reality, in this physical symphony called life, to understand it so well, that we see the parts and the whole, and can move into the layers, and UNDERSTAND it, and then work with it, be in synch with it, and sing life! 

The means are all around us, we can use technology to do this, to help us. Nothing is all bad or good. We can transform this world into real living, into the life it was meant to be, as we are the most perfect of forms to do this.  We must step outside of a limited resonance, and begin to process here, to be able to process our words, our sound formations, our notes with greater mastery, and use who and what we are to sense what is here, all around us, until we are all, as no one can be left behind, in balance, in the real song, seeing the real story, of and as the physical.  We can, realize the sum and the parts of our resonant mis-take on reality, and correct this to then step by step, as this is how things work, to see, realize and understand the sound of life in expression in form, all around us, and we can use technology to help us to accumulate actions/movements towards this. It is time to get our processing speeds moving, deconstructing what we have allowed, and rebuilding through, and this can happen at the same time ( I wonder) refocus onto the parts and the whole, and develop an ability to sense the sums and the parts until we are in equality and oneness with what is here, as the living form all around us.  We are, in essence, life.