I remember this concert I did in college. I played this very modern piece, that had no conventional melody as we are accustomed to. IT had multiple time signatures, so one had to change one sense of space in the beat almost every other measure. It really demanded being stable and changing up the space.
After playing this piece many times, in rehearsals and in performances, I had a moment where I realized the piece was not anything I had ever played. I saw it as more of a construction of forms in space. Meaning, it was more like walking around in a shape. One time while performing it, I felt that I as walking in someone’s kitchen. To me, it was like the composer was trying to compose a memory from his past.
I had forgotten about this, until I, this week saw a video of a holograph of the parts of the physical human body, where one could take the computer generated imagery and either have the whole from the outer visuals, peel them away, or click them away, to see the layers of the systems that compose the human physical body. I thought that it would be cool if we could do that with trees and forests and oh! so may things.
I also have been looking at stories. My mother had said she can’t read history without it being in the context of a story. I asked myself why this is, why for some it is difficult to read the story line of history directly, and that need a context of a story to absorb history. Perhaps, it is that they need the events of history placed in a context more on the ground, more in the scenario of daily life, to make it more real? Makes sense in a way.
Also, I was looking at writing out time lines of the composition of what I have allowed and accepted within and as me, as thoughts of ideas, opinions, beliefs, shadowing wants, desires and needs, a story of information that becomes a resonance as it accumulated and leads to emotional/feeling bodies composing a personality, that directs me, influences my actions, as the information in the machine that is me. I am looking at this, my composition, and the ability of technology to show the real physical storied/layered form, and how humans needs compositions of stories in a more grounded context. And, what happened with the piece of music I played years ago, ( there are some others too) that was so different from what I had culturally been exposed to. Somehow, all of this creates a picture of how we work, of what we have allowed, and of the potential inherent in all of these parts. After all, in the arts, one of the things one achieves, is to see the sum of the parts all moving together. This means that one is processing all those parts, with ease, because one had intimacy with them. It is somewhat like what is necessary in playing a musical instrument, where one must check within one’s self the body, and the music, the smallest being checked and the whole, even out to the audience. THIs is, as I see it, a more correct use of the imagination, the ability to ‘ move through the eye of the needle’ and see the forms around one, the living physical compositions around one.
What we humans have done, is gotten stuck in a resonant emotional feeling body, that defines us, as we cannot see what we don’t know, what we have not consciously allowed ourselves to sense, to feel, to realize. What we have not allowed ourselves to practice. I mean, there i a school in India where children learn to use a sense, of sensing with presence, ( as what I call this here) objects in front of them blind folded! All these things that are here, showing us to ourselves, our capacity is so right in front of us.
In this state we are in conflict , meaning it is so unequal to here, that we are, in a way, from my perspective at the moment, so resistant, to ‘ in holding’ of our construction, to what is here, to the real storied information that is the physical that is the instrument, that is the means of expression as life. I mean, imagine being able to be in synch with the forms around us, as what I experienced on probably a lesser level, with the music, imagine being able to sense the sound formations of the trees and all that is in the forest, to know this so well, that one can pan in and pan out and also sense the whole and the parts in a quantum way? Imagine walking in the music of life, that is the physical here? Imagine, instead of being in fear, in tension, in anxiety, in resistance - because it is work to resist this!- being in synch, as ease, with the forms around us, and using one’s senses to become intimate with the math as the forms as the stories of inform, as the physical here, as the forests and all that composes this living reality, the real story? I mean, on another level, why are we fed so many pre hyper-sexualised failure tales from day one, that are read, again and again, and again and again, made into movies, with songs to memorize etc. etc.? Why are we not taught to be in sense and awareness of what is the living fabric of reality all around us? Why do we not become the ‘ father rejoicing in the son, and the son rejoicing in the father” Why do the words exist, as ‘ though I walk in the valley of the shadow of good and evil, I see no evil’ ? What does that mean in relation to what I am saying? Is it not the image and likeness of how a separation from life would be, as this also pictures the lack of presence and processing of what is right under our feet? LOOK!
I mean, why are our children placed in box, where words are so slowed down, moving in such a stagnant manner, where we practice using those words, those notes those sounds to memorize a picture, a form, and abstract, that is so removed from the physical world around us, and done as memory, which is in meter and tempo and time, incredibly slow! Remember, we become what we practice, and thus, if our rhythm is of a certain tempo, and we repeat that again and again, we become that tempo. Like a hamster on a wheel we acclimate to that tempo, and then we get stuck in the resonance we generate as it, and become just like a train running on a track no longer able to see what is real right outside the window. Would this fit into the idea proposed so long ago, of walking in a valley of the shadow of good and evil, a resonant construction caught in its own web? I would say, yes, this is what we humans have been doing for a very long time. It is time to deconstruct this, and accept ourselves as life, and stand here, to accumulate a presence in reality, in this physical symphony called life, to understand it so well, that we see the parts and the whole, and can move into the layers, and UNDERSTAND it, and then work with it, be in synch with it, and sing life!
The means are all around us, we can use technology to do this, to help us. Nothing is all bad or good. We can transform this world into real living, into the life it was meant to be, as we are the most perfect of forms to do this. We must step outside of a limited resonance, and begin to process here, to be able to process our words, our sound formations, our notes with greater mastery, and use who and what we are to sense what is here, all around us, until we are all, as no one can be left behind, in balance, in the real song, seeing the real story, of and as the physical. We can, realize the sum and the parts of our resonant mis-take on reality, and correct this to then step by step, as this is how things work, to see, realize and understand the sound of life in expression in form, all around us, and we can use technology to help us to accumulate actions/movements towards this. It is time to get our processing speeds moving, deconstructing what we have allowed, and rebuilding through, and this can happen at the same time ( I wonder) refocus onto the parts and the whole, and develop an ability to sense the sums and the parts until we are in equality and oneness with what is here, as the living form all around us. We are, in essence, life.
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