Day 596 The Misplaced Creative Ability of The Concrete Made Abstract. Self Forgiveness

I recently had an interaction with someone, where the creative ability of a person can take parts and create a picture, built of beliefs, and opinions and ideas, to construct a justification around having made a choice. If I look at this as an ability, it reveals how humans are creative, in that they take parts and create an abstract picture of the reality around them.

If this ability took into consideration that which allows this creative ability of constructing something as a picture as an idea, which is the physical world - our bodies, and included the practical reality of the physical in any taking-of-parts, which is “ critiquing” reality, or re-sunning reality” or bringing what is physically realized information as the physical into consideration as the qualities and building blocks of the physical world, then our reality would function in ways that cause no harm because the physical would be respected, in detail.

When we create a paper world where means are used to ostensibly expedite a norm, we allow externalities to be swept to the side, which is not looking at all the parts and as such causes aspects of the practice of living that is a physical way of moving here, to be forgotten, which means the physical world is ignored. A scenario that has a consequence of dis-integrating the physical. The physical world then becomes weaker and weaker and weaker. And we see this happening all around us. We can leave nothing behind, because all of it is the means of life. What is not in full potential becomes a fire that we end up trying to put out, and our attention is on this lack, which is not being attentive of the actual physical world overall. 

I within myself realize how this can happen. I was a child and I stopped suddenly and wanted to hide what I was doing, and to do this I focused on the words only of the adult in my world. As I walked a mind construct, this one little movement, was myself making a choice to attend to my own experiences, my own memory, my own abstract of a concrete world as the physical. Overall, this is not a bad thing, but when I ignore one thing, because I have an idea about it based on actions in the past, and then begin to manipulate what I focus myself on, then I have ideas about things and begin to reject aspects of reality based on ideas, and attend to reality in a way that suits my own ideas instead. This overall is myself no longer being transparent and open and equal in consideration of all that is the physical world. I am being selective, which is not bad, per say, but when done to manipulate what is a construction of belief in fear of being discovered because I have an idea about what that dis-covered thing may be considered as, then I am already building layers of lies, that become the focused being of myself. Thus I have begun to move as an ideological abstract that is in separation from practical reality. I am no longer equal to the physical, I am as such resisting life, because no real god would create something that does harm, a real god would be something that is by nature in all aspects creation. And what I have done, in my manipulations is taken life and my creative ability as life, and constructed an abstract of parts of life that is using creative ability and warping it into a personal alternate reality that is lost of its gift of common sense.

The only way out of this separation is to admit it. To forgive myself back to my own gift as life as my common sense, which is to focus on the physical world and realize the practical measure of it. And why, because this is alignment back into reality, where I reference the concrete world as life in-formation, and sense that which does no harm, which is what is best for all.

My manipulations, where I attend to some things to block my own actions from sight, because I had an idea about them based on an experience that was probably the same thing in another - and myself being a child who did not have the code as the words to sort this all out in clear and communicative ways,  became what I allowed as the measure of my memory, what I defined as the world around me. 

When I talk with others, having spent some time looking at this, I see this same thing going on in the words people speak. Overall this is a creative act as it is taking parts and creating new forms , but it is all done in protection and self defense for an initial separation that we all can realize and know we have accepted, but in actuality fear admitting to. The only solution is to forgive this separation and to come back down to practical reality, because this is the only way forward on earth.

Imagine when someone comes and apologizes for something that is realized to be a mis-take, we accept it when it is sincere. The problem is that we have a system that has become the manifestation of our own abdication of being equal to practical reality. As though each has done this for so long that it is imposed as a man-made system on earth. Thus, the system must change to allow each to forgive transgressions as abstract personas, to give the space and time to come back down to include the physical as life, equal to self and that creative ability, because the two are inseparable. 

Also, when one learns a bad habit, which in this case is a limited insight habit, and does not change, then that habit is what is consumed and becomes what one is, the change becomes harder because the groove has been set and to rebuild takes time and consistent corrective action/movement. the gift is the physical world in front of us, it centers us here, equal in consideration of all things as any real parent/god would want for their child.

If we look at our financial system, which is a rent seeking formation, it is us, manifested externally. What we hold onto as personifications as a collection of beliefs, opinions and ideas used to define us, where we hide from not having remained in practical equal consideration of all things in respect of the physical as life in-formation, as creation, then we are “ renting” qualities to define us, at the exclusion of respect of the physical world that is creation manifest and the gift of life in-formation. So, our financial system represents our separation and our attention to limited abstracts made larger than life as our mind.

And our governing system, is what we tout, what we pray for, but not what we actually live. It is what we say we are, but not what we actually do. it is the limited good sounding actions we tell one another, that we do in small measure to convince ourselves we are not that which we know we have accepted which is hiding from being equal to practical reality and trying to regulate our gains, hiding from considering all life, respecting all life which the physical is the expressive in-formation of and as. Just as our governments and financial systems are forms that are movements, so are we, and this system is what each has become within. so the projection that created the system, comes from each of us. If we do nothing to change ourselves and simply forgive a lack of perception that includes and respects the actual life in-formation as the physical then we ignore and as such destroy creation in-formation.

Thus the solution is that one must stop what one has accepted, has trained oneself as , as a collection of beliefs, opinions and ideas, that take one quality or aspect of reality, and aggrandize that aspect at the exclusion of other qualities and aspects of practical physical reality, and bring that back down to earth, because this is how we bring our own heavens as our abstract ideas about this concrete world, back into what is practical, and within this stop creating doom and gloom scenarios, because we fear to lose what is really an extremely limited acceptance of who we are.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to be flexible here, to not fear changing what I have accepted and allowed as an idea, belief or opinion about practical reality within and as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress my common sense ability, the gift of life in expression, in having the ability to look at the parts and the whole here, to see, realize and understand movements and actions that consider all things and take that which is good, which is a process of becoming aware and respecting all things as this earth is life in-formation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize, and understand how I have manipulated myself as life to hide from actions that were in themselves actions based on limited/singular beliefs, based on ideas of good and bad, which is judgement, which is eating the apple of knowledge and information only and ignoring the tree of life that is what sustains and created that apple.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand the mirage of  limited experience I accepted and allowed as an abstract of this concrete world, earth, that is life in-formation here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to bring one aspect of reality forward in and as my mind, and to accept this as having a value that I believed would define me and allow me to survive what I wanted to hide that was another form of judgement as deciding that there was a bad that would lead to a doom and gloom scenario, a “ what if” scenario where I acted in a self interest of limitation because I did not investigate all things and reality as that which was good and does no harm, in a practical physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what another speaks as an abstract imagery of a concrete physical world can define me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how one small movement of separation in protection and defense, as an idea of a good and a bad, ends up limiting the very common sense of me as life, to be flexible/flowing/mutable in respecting practical physical reality, to consider and be thankful for that which is the means of myself in expression as life, which is the physical world, the tree of life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe an abstract of a concrete world, of which the abstract used for its formation, is more real than the practical physical world, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I believe the abstract, as what I have allowed to define me, I actually move into suppression of myself as life, and for this I forgive myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I believe an abstract construction within and as a idea, belief opinion, within and as me, a emotional movement concentrated on hiding one thing and attending to another, as a value that I believe will protect me from what I had believed was a “ bad” then I am like a computer, turning off one thing and bringing forward another, not a bad when consistently cross referenced with reality, but a suppression and limitation when used to define me, causing pressure on and as my physical body, disrupting flow, blocking my own common sense as life, constricting the physical body, causing a dis-ease, as a mis-take with reality, and as such, something that can become a habit that will take time to realign back down to earth, back into being equal and one, respectful of practical physical reality, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow my mind to be greater than my heart, to not listen to here, to what is here, even as the separations of men as abstractions of this concrete reality as what the mind is an does.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that this abstract projection as mind can define me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become equal and one to the creative ability of myself as life, and instead to abuse this creative ability in ways of self interest only.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize what I fear losing as a self definition, and what I fear being defined as having accepted and allowed an idea that I cannot change when I am the one who accepted and allowed the mirage as mind, as my perception of my experiences that I defined myself as and feared changing because I allowed an idea as a desire to become larger than life, and as such did not walk the practical process of building awareness of the physical, which is respecting all life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the war on resource grabbing for rent seeking practices is an outward manifestation of what I have accepted and allowed within and as me, which has been happening for generations as this is what has been generated as an abstract in dis-respect of practical reality, and as such is an act of violence against life, thus for what I have accepted and allowed within and as me, a war that is the manifestation of conflict and friction against myself as life, I forgive myself.

When and as I find myself limiting the life within and as me, as my own expression, manifest as friction and conflict within as back chat of judgement as mind, as thoughts, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand the values as the parts brought forward, attended to, and I cross reference the physical, practical reality, and ground the limitations back into what would withstand the test of time, to realize two or more in my name builds awareness and respect of that which is life in-formation which is  the physical, which is earth, the hearth, the heart, of life and thereby grounding myself here.

When and as I find myself beginning to doubt myself  I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, to practical reality, to consider all things, and to take that which is good, to stand equal to what supports the expression of myself as life, which is the physical that is life in-formation which is to bring what I believed was a heaven as value judgements as mind in self interest, instead of in the value being life, to align myself equal and one to and as life, to pass through the eye of the needle which is the physical.

When and as I find myself becoming a movement of comparison, as the thoughts of good and bad in and as my mind, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I look at the fear of what I have allowed as the so-called bad that I reject and resist  and I stop and I look to what I fear losing as a self definition of and as me and what i believe I will gain as a desire, and I forgive my accepted habit of value judgment, and I take the good and the bad judgments and realize my imagination of gloom and doom as fear of loss, and I ground myself here to express the practice of life as the physical in-formation, enjoying being in life expression as what I am as a physical being here.

When and as I find myself reacting as in becoming tense within and as me, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that I am becoming conflict and friction within and as me, that is in effect emotional/feeling bodies built of ideas, as accumulated  thought, as judgments  of qualities that are from the physical world that I believe will cause a loss should I not be defined as them as I have allowed rent seeking practices as limited value self definition only,  as I react to the words of another as their constructions of belief taking this personally instead of seeing this for what it is, a projection of values only on a physical world as life in-formation, I stop, I breath I ground myself here, as I realize that nothing defines me but what I accept and allow, here.

When and as I find myself taking things personally, I stop and I breath and I reference, respect the practice of physical manifestation of life in-formation and I see, realize and understand an expression of and as me as what is best for all, as taking that which is good as that which is practical, measurable as relating and respecting life in-formation as the physical here, to stand as that which is supportive of life, where life is the value.

Day 536 - The valley of the shadow of good and evil.

I went to this meeting and I noticed the diversion tactics embedded within the system to protect the money within the system and the emotional values touted again and again to fill the very space and time of the meeting. In all, this occupies that space and time as the very fabric of the expression of the humans, limiting them from realizing that it is the being of this, that does not move into problem solving.  

To confront this takes time, and also a willingness to not move with the emotional values but to take them forward into understanding such for what it is. Some may react because this means deconstructing what one is allowing as the very accepted expression, and once such is defined as character, that it is an automated response. All of which means that humans are very much like computers, if the state of understanding within, is of a value rather than a common sense of form and function, then the details of reality are not being looked at in ways that understand what we are here, as human beings, composed of sound that forms what we are as what we place our expression as the words we speak that are of what we believe within ourselves, that can not be equal to practical reality, as the very physical world that is the means of our existence.

After being at this meeting and seeing all of this, moving in very slow ways, I have to ask myself how much I am this in every moment, here. I have been working on this, but it is another thing to see this being played out, and the strength of which this is done, myself beginning to wonder where to begin to walk through this, without becoming unbalanced as in fearing to stand clear as the emotional values come my way in the form of words, as the expression of the limited program within and as the human, that is a mind consciousness of limitation.

It is like this manifests as a slowness, a thick substance that moves like molasses. It feels like a loopiness within and as me, and the thoughts in accord with this composition, as a piece rise up within me as the value judgements that I have accepted and allowed, that have no balance to practical reality. There is also the fear of leaving this behind. But in seeing this being played out in a group, where the children were being discussed, I realize the thick soup of this around me, like a mirage as an existential presence surrounding the humans, I feel like I am in an orchestra, where all the sounds are coming at me from all angles, and I am having to juggle this, but to see how this warps the very fabric of existence, to the extent that this does not flow, with ease, as that lightness that is in nature all around us.

I need not fear falling, because the only place to fall, ironically, is here, and it has always been so.

I remember, just before the death of my husband, I was so concerned, that in a moment, I asked everything to stop, I demanded it. It was such a quick moment, where it was as though a weight lifted, and in the small space in between, I realized that everything I thought was real, was not, everything that I thought mattered was not real.

In the years after the death of my husband, I had a very hard time talking with people, and I started to feel like there was something wrong with me because I felt indifferent to so much of what was coming at me.

One example, was when I talked with a mental health specialist, and they kept saying to me that the death was not my fault. I found I was upset and also, that I did not want to hear this from this person. Somehow, what this person was saying to me, was meaningless. At the same time I was afraid that if I did not agree with them that I would be considered crazy. So I became really quiet and let them talk. And anyway I could not explain what was going through my head. It was as though I could not forget that moment where I realized that what I thought mattered did not matter.

I have thoughts come up, and I realize that they are not myself being here, moving here, equal to here, and that this is how the joy of myself as life, is suppressed, because this is not myself moving here in common sense. So, when I feel loopy, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, when I feel that knowledge and information is too much, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down,  I realize that the emotions and feelings that I move into as a definition are meaningless, they serve no purpose with being here in self directive ways. That being here, means being at ease, cross referencing an understanding of practical physical reality, and that the mind consciousness system is the limitation, as the conscious is the values projected, the words revealing the character of that focus on limited values, that are not good or bad, but limited, separate from movement, from the joy of life.

I realize that the subconscious mind is the accumulation of traditions, as values based on the cultural past of the borders of definition of past practices as the order of a society that no longer, and as a starting point, is an action of being here within and as changing self to work with what is here as the physical, where in a sense there is no time, because the very substance as what is the building block of here is eternal, silent and constant.

And then, there is the overall system as the unconscious mind, the system map of what humans have accepted and allowed in separation from consideration of the physical as being as much life as the ideological form within and as the human, the two must become equal and one, which is simply to value all life, as this would be the way and the means to creating a heaven on earth, it is to accept life, no matter the form.

Thus our system is maintained by what humans accept and allow as the very from created from the substance of life, within. And if this inner form is not equal to all life, of which the physical is as much of and as, as what we are within, then  life will be in a state of separation from life. Thus, it is to equalize oneself within to the without, to realize that the physical is the way and means of equality and oneness to and as life here.

I suppose it really is like walking through the valley of the shadow of good and bad, because it is the value judgement, manifested as emotions and feelings, based on thoughts that are the intital judgement, that creates the shadows, that are composed of energy, which is like a molasses within each of us, and this molasses, has friction and conflict because it is not moving in accord with the substance or “ sound” of life, and as such this burns the flesh, eats away at it, consuming it. It is like a rod that exists in the torso, right down the middle of the back, and ironically, I remember when I was in high school, in New York City, walking on the busy streets of New York, thinking that there was something in the backs of all people.

But if we are not taught to realize that what we create within, if it is not equal to accepting all life, of which the physical world is, then we exist in separation, and that separation is inequality to accepting all life and it exists as imaginations that manifest as characters, that are voiced as the words we know, impulsed with values,  maintaining the illusion, that is self in the valley of good and evil, walking on the very ground of the means of life, which is the physical world.

It was interesting, because I got into my car after this meeting, and driving home, emotional values came popping up in and as what i have accepted and allowed, and I could not accept them, I could not continue what was going on in this meeting. As such the burning in my legs, stopped, I would not allow myself to go there, it is unacceptable. Within this I have to be very careful and vigilant, because my habits as my character are automated. 

But then again, it is as desteni has said, once the veil has been seen, even in small measure, there is no going back, there is only one place to go, and that is to walk the process of self forgiveness, writing and corrective application, to realize self as life, equal and one to here. It is the only choice. 

     

Day 207 The mind as magnifier of parts of the physical/story only

The mind as magnifier of parts of the story.
I wake up this morning worrying about money. I try to clear something up and read some letters from lawyers and call a bank.
What I see within the letter, as the presentation, are details that stop within one part of a story line of events; meaning one little made huge detail within the consequencesof the total. And these details presented serve the interests of only a few, and it is all about survival and money into non- equality.
If the whole were looked at, then the outcome would be different than the parts presented, and thus, if the development of the human is caught in confusion, as instability, which in a way is an understanding that “something is a-miss” ( to the whole). There have been times when I was confused, and then I went into continuing this confusion through looking at the things within the confusion one and a time- as thought seeking an answer within these only, one at a time. And then, over the last years, I got better at catching myself doing this - also within the desteni process of understanding emotions, thoughts and feelings, and investigating what is the actual movement and structure of the present system- actions of understanding the within and the without. So, I got to the point where I realized I could not find and answer, and felt confused because there was not an answer within the presentation “facts”. What I would then do is stop and realize I did not have an answer, and then wait for a change in perception to find the answer. Which meant, that I needed more understanding, but I did not realize this clearly. I guess I thought of it in some “ magical awareness coming in that was going to out there some where.” But this started to bother me, as this was not a clear situation either.
I knew something was not clear within the health situation in America, and I had problems with my mother, as she totally accepts all the pills and means of the present allopathic system. So, I started to look into health professionals who had done independent research and found many problems with what is accepted as promoting supposed heath within allopathic medicine. I would then take these professional studies and insight to my mother. She refused to read them. I was confused.
I was in effect finding my own way of answering to the confusion point, in doing investigation; meaning looking to the structure of what is here and understanding it. Unfortunately, I had not really investigated how money worked.
So, confusion, a sense of confusion, is really seeing no answer within presentation, being trapped within the part presented, meaning that confusion of a state of not having enough insight into the total story ( a separation), the total here, as what is real, as what is physically actually the real “ here” in seeing how what is here works as this physical actuality, the same tactic used in suppression of consequence within the physical world in favor of limited supposed ‘complete peer reviewed studies” ( which in essence have become reality as a sanctioned “truth” where, yes, things should be cross referenced but within a profit based system of inequality where money determines life, this will end up being manipulated in favor of profit- as this has been made/allowed to determine life.)
Now, if the mind focuses on the details presented and moves as that detail, this would be an absence of sensing the whole story - or manifestation physically. So, moving as the aggrandized part would be an ignorance of an understanding as the total story-manifestation; the physical being the manifestation of the total story. Thus it would be a crime to not reveal the total story, it would be a crime to not clear up confusion or to even use it for personal gain. That personal gain is not even aware of the total story, or it would not be taking the limited action!
This in essence is what has become of the present system of money and human energetic personality development. And each of us accepted and allowed this through our participation. The human is not cross referencing all the capacities of the from as the human, and instead seeking character/care-actor to law/wife/mother/street worker/paper pusher/ electrician to name a few, only, sequestering into limited role play only, without becoming aware of self as being able to interact in common sense with much of what is here, where so much of what is here is able to be common sensed and directed through by self in interaction with this physical world.
The total effects within this physical world must always/allways be considered, any ignorance, hiding, inconsideration is criminal and will cause confusion, and thus maintain separation, and looking at the parts made huge - selective parts that are impulsed again and again and again, withholds common sense, as hearing/hereing/seeing the total story/manifestation as the physical. This is using division in a mathematical way, folding over on itself again and again, without looking at total consequence, thus are emotions, thoughts and feelings used to divide from the whole. Like a pendulum on a clock, where self is limited into the bottom of the pendulum only, as mind.
Take a moment and try stopping that emotion, that sense of confusion, the sense of falling inwardly and see if you are able to “pull it back” into sensing the whole with ease and in calm. I bet you cannot do this. All those reverberations within as the confusion, as the emotions and feelings and thoughts echoing through your physical body, imbedded within the waters resonantly, they are still “bouncing off the walls of self as self” as they are unresolved. This all needs to be brought back to self, equalized to self as life, as the physical, being aware of the whole story. Thus must self deconstruct the separations through realigning them back to the whole- the totality of the story; physical manifestation. Mechanistic.
Within this, your me-mories are the me stories of parts accepted and allowed in separation of equal and one consideration of the whole;physical manifestation. And, the present system is the manifestation of this separation without as what we are within, the two existing equal and one - at the same time. Thus, as long as we are accepting this, our separation from an understanding of the total story ( as all consequence) ; physical manifestation, inequality to the acceptance of all of the story- as this actual physical world- will continue- until it sucks the real awareness of the whole until there is nothing left and we start from the beginning all over again. Even here the problem will not be solved, as we must realize the totality of what is here, to move as what is equal and one as the substance that is the starting point, equal and one, as the creative value, as realizing this is the value, and working with this. meaning not choosing to give more value to an object from this formed, which is not eliminating the form, but seeing it as an expression of the very substance as what self is, and sharing and working with and understanding how this was formed, and enjoying the form and seeing the forms as a story of creation.
Our stories presently are creations of values, and the values are limited within awareness of what we are in substance and that substance as form in expression. Instead we have looked only to certain forms and not the means and development of the form that is of the substance. Thus we worship false - as in limited parts only- gods/idols. In a way it is like only sensing blips on a screen, and taking those blips and creating ourselves from that only, as that one part is excited and then seemingly bright and thus seemingly supportive - as we are separate from the whole/lacking a developed sense of the whole from day one- as the nothing as the space, which in fact it is a separation from common sense, common sense being a sense of the commons, the commons being the very earth on which we exist, everything, as it is the common supportive ground as the physical as where we are as the human, and it is here, to allow us to equalize ourselves back to the total story of existence as how the very substance of life has and is the total form of life as this physical world. Thus all there is is here. Is there really anything that life would not be but this? This makes so much sense , and allows all life, would never divide life, as the nature of life is expression as life.

I commit myself to realizing and understanding that separation is a stop into value judgements.
I commit myself to investigating all my own self doubt as a non directive movement lacking common sense of this actual physical world.
I commit myself to realizing that I become emotional when I believe something can be lost, where this sense of loss, is a belief in lack, simply an action as a movement lacking direction, where direction would be understanding, in common sense of how this actual physical world functions, and thus an act of elimination would not exist, as the physical was here before man emerged on this earth.
I commit myself to stop myself from being a walking dis-cretion and looking at what is actually here as this physical world, and understanding the mechanics there of.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that value judgements of more than and less than are a lack of common sense when held in high esteem and followed within assembly through like relations and associations as a limited movement without a directive principle of resolution.
I commit myself to realizing there is only here, in absolute direction as what is best for all within investigating how this physical world works.

Desteni

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