Thursday, January 7, 2016

Day 676 Becoming aware of emotional/feeling bodies on my physical body. Who am I within Presence?

Lately, I have noticed while interacting with others, that a moment can happen that appears like a swoon, as how I want to describe it. It happened specifically while sitting with another person, where I noticed their body swung in my direction and they laughed. It appeared like a movement coming towards me, one that I could respond to or not.

I also noticed this week, that while I was talking to a group, that within scanning the group, I had a couple of imagination/voices/ideas come up in relation to some of the people in the group.
What corrective statements I have written out within walking the destini i process helped me to ground myself back into what I was doing.

These imagination/voices/projections were not myself being present and focused on the context of what I was doing. These inner projections/voices/idea ‘ entities’ had nothing to do with myself and were not the ground on which I stood in that moment.

I could begin to see this effect on my body, as it was as though that ‘ swoon’ was around me as me, I reminded myself where I was, and who I was and what I was doing in that moment.

I realize I was in the process of balancing out the mind, physical and self, to ground myself in being present. 

I is interesting as what helps me within this, is my musical training. Why? Within playing in a group, one must learn to extend one’s presence to the other sounds as all the instruments in the group. They are a moving measure, intertwined and formed. This helps myself, as what I am doing, remain balanced within the whole. Within this, I am myself, and I am all the other parts too. If I separate from this awareness, I begin to lose my sense of place. I cannot blame anything around me, as it is my self responsibility to remain grounded in the moment. Nothing can distract me unless I accept and allow it. And, since I can sense the parts and the whole, and move within this, checking this and checking that within and without, my capacity has no bounds unless I limited this presence. I determine my focus, my presence.  

This presence, is so fluid, that it can sense when I am not focused, it can sense what I am being, what I am allowing within myself. It can sense what moves through the mind, as the thoughts as the back chats and the imaginations and the projections, just as I did when speaking to a group. None of this comes from without, it comes from within. Yet, as in sitting with another in close proximity, I can notice a change in the person, the parts of which is the details I may not pick up, and yet I can understand that this is the same as myself, a momentary projection directing the experience. Even this need not define who and what I am.

Within this, I, before walking the process of self forgiveness, writing and self correction as the very measure of me as thoughts, words and deeds,  very often complained about the spatial awareness of people around me.  As an adult, I often wondered as to why the adults around me and my friends were losing their spatial awareness. This manifested in my friends and strangers not being able to do the simplest of tasks that required spatial ability. It was one of the questions that was always there. 

In an interview on Eqafe,  emotional and feeling body effects are likened to a train running on tracks on the earth’s surface. When we are near the train moving on tracks, we can feel the vibrations of the train through the earth’s surface.  Those thoughts/imagination/projections as ideas, beliefs and opinions, that are polarized into emotions and feelings as fearing some form can define me, and/or running to some form as an idea can define/promise, are not myself being present here. In effect, they are what separates myself from expressing myself in normal ways here.  It really begins to be like walking through the valley of shadows, and the ‘ shadows ‘ can be sensed just as the reverberations of the train moving along the tracks through the earth.

Such ephemeral shadows, can be a gift. These ephemeral presences that rush and dissipate as they have no real presence, can be grounded back into what is normal, as being present here, within the means to self direct as that which senses this, as that which senses the physical world around me! 

Thus, I can, in every moment, ground myself in what is normal, in the practice of being present here, no longer allowing judgments about a good or a bad to define who and what I am, as the practice of being myself here is expressing consideration for all things within what I would want for myself . This is respecting all things as the physical world, being equal and one with and as it. to direct my actions in ways that do no harm. 

Emotional and Feeling Energy is created by your Mind Conscious System.  Are you running towards empty as memorized mis-takes on reality, as self judgements, or are you here, present, living, breathing, calm?  

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