Romanticizing a relationship Day 761

It is interesting how I am drawn to look at certain things, while at the same time not seeing what is right in front of me that I am telling myself. 

What I have been focused on is processing speeds, as being able to do the math, within the patterns as words, that describe, lol de-scribe , the focus of myself.  I can’t see what is in plain sight, as I am so focused on the pictures and the story that there is not reflection within the whole, as this living reality.

I am a series of relationships, as values, that I hold, to project an idea, which is how the mind works as a web of separation from this practical and physical reality. That is just it. This point that the relationship of values, is the composition of who and what I am as a persona, just as creation is a relationship of values, and just as another as the same, is a relationship of values. Just as I have focused on the constructs of words, and just a s a soap opera is built, so is this the same in what is here, whether in division or in equality to what is real, as the physical. Therefor, I am focusing on an innate understanding of this, taking it apart, and yet not seeing the forest through the trees. On one level, what I am drawn to, is exposing what I am realizing, yet I have gotten so caught up in the idea only. This causes anxiety, as though I am juggling and the balls are getting ahead of me, because I have not remained grounded. 

I also realize that listening to others is very important, to see the patterns, as a math, as a series of relationships that build what I call a scream that is ultimately a longing to be whole. I remember being 12 and being obsessed with this. I wanted to understand the scream, so it is a theme I carry with me, that can also become a distraction, as it is a relationship between values that I have allowed myself to hold. I believe this is probably true of everyone, if they make the choice to look, as the means of separation from being focused and present in the practical is the same. In the stories of information as a series of relationships is both the longing for self and the sequences that separate the self from the real presence of self in awareness, as a focused respect of life, as the physical. 

To jump here, to remembering the death of my husband, I relive the sadness of this, remembering that a part of me thought that a great beauty was lost in his death. And, at the same time the impossibility of realizing why this was not lived. How could this come to  be extinguished? Since this was what I was projecting, this was really myself. What I projected outward was what I was seeing within myself. And to note, that the support of the people around me, after his death, were, to me, these words that did not describe the whole picture. I got to the point where I did not want any pity, and I dd not want to hear supportive statements of regret because they were in no way solving the problem. 

When I allow only the thoughts of and as ‘ there being a great beauty’ and ‘ it is impossible’ to realize this, to sort this out, there is also the voice within me, for as long as I can remember as ‘ NO, this cannot be so.”  My family made fun of this part of me, that person that did not have the answer yet often said in frustration, that what was accepted simply could not be so. I, after all these years on this planet, simply will not give up. 

I can focus on these inner billboard signs as idea, and use them like a life jacket, in a moment, yet the motivation of and as “ this cannot be so’ as the positive, and the negative sense as a form that this is impossible, and that a beauty has been lost as a superiority of and as a good, are forms that can take my focus, and distract me from being simple and normal and present in this reality. This is what and how a mind consciousness works. It is a math, as a sequence of forms as beliefs, opinions and ideas that can become a thing, better known as an idol, that distract from being present and in equality to life. Meaning, one is so present, one has no value judgements, one is practical and in focus on the life. One is in a relationship with all things, understanding their expression in form and function. It is really very simple. The mind exists within stories of good and bad, right and wrong, rise and fall, protagonist and antagonist, antecedent and consequence. Limited, narrowly framed, bound. Nothing to do with balance of sound in form and function. This demands seeing towards creation.  Look at ordering something, it is merely placing things into an order. 

In all, this persona of and as these things, is myself focusing on a lack, and not being here - really listening to this reality. To accept the physical as reality, this life, in expression, would mean I would have no fear of death, because in essence, being here, with this reality as life in expression would mean that there really is no death. It just means listening to here, moving with and as here, as the physical.

Day 434 Transnational Action disregards practical physical reality.

I was reading about two brothers who amassed exorbitant wealth organizing a product we all use to live, their names unimportant to me because it is the action and outcome of what they did that is important. Having a name to place on this is unnecessary and part of the problem. I mean in school the organization and development of resources are always given a figure head, this figure head given the status of a “ creator” which is in itself a delusional presentation. And I remember thinking that some people on earth, as I read away in the stories presented at school in text books, that there were supposedly “ amazing” people who did this and did that, and many of their names are placed on brass plaques  for all to see. There are subjects about how resources are developed and moved around, but this is not aligned with the supposed “ movers and shakers” in our society whose names we drop to show our accumulation of knowledge and information, leaving out practical common sense, the whole story,  the actual physical facts. Our consequences of history told always incite an associative drama  of “he said she said”- be it country of event-  about the  figure head lacking all common sense. It civic classes he structural mechanism of world order is taught, in history, the “ he/they did this or that” story. Perhaps this is changing into other combinations, but still is the alignment with physical movements tied to a figure head given super powers that this figure head does not, in all common sense, really possess because they are a point in a interconnected fabric where a media touts one aspect as a “ more than” as a god -  a “ figured head” that has all this media “light” exaggerating its significance in contradiction to physical reality?

So, these two brothers organized the production and storage and distribution of a product. For them it was this process that drove them, and they held onto the money, living lives that were not ostentatious. The accumulation of money, how much collected was the end game and nothing else. They played with transnational practices, squeezing money from the production end and the consumer end to have gains through tax havens in the middle because it was about collecting the money. Physical life was secondary, profit was primary,  a backwards equation, the cart before the horse, a trough of self interest.

How is that we have allowed ourselves to make one part of a process more than another? The workers if not given what is needed to be decent human beings are naturally going to cut corners and lack health and thus not going to take care of the very ground on which they exist and the consumer using the product, are they getting what is best for them, what will sustain a human form composed of parts and mechanistic functions that are able to be understood, are they going to function in their full capacity? What does this undeveloped entity on earth leave behind for those to come? And if humans are more than another species, then why would we need that other species. if we cannot exist without it than we are not more. Dependency really reveals an interconnectedness, not a more than.

Figure heads are an organizer, and usually they have the money to organize larger groups of things, but they are only this through capital gains. These gains are dependent on the physical world and the actions on the ground, thus, a figure head is dependent on what is here, and is only a part of a connection dependent on what is being connected! Without the connections, that figure head cannot exist.  Thus, the idol making of a point of organization is an illusion and the allowance of money to collect to a few is a complete delusional separation from reality.

In reality, if the entities on the ground had more natural ability to be responsible they would, it is only an idea that order must come from afar, not to say that at this point in time because of the amount of non allowance of common sense, within each point, more organization of what is here will be needed, but as each part becomes what it is as life capable of understanding, less organization from one point will be needed. In other words it is the accumulation of money that uses the division of understanding as a means for self interested gain. Can’t blame the effects of this on the effected, that is simply ignorance. In all of this is those that compose the castle walls, as the administrators, the teachers, the municipal workers, those that have pay checks that really keep that wall up. So, ironically, it is those in the middle, that are the wall of separation, that must realize that a Living Income Guarantee will remove the divide that is the wall, that is a formation as men that is removed from common sense of earth, meaning practices that do no harm absolutely.  We all know the choices we make, that are not self honest, that allow a “ lesser evil” over an absolute, really looking at what causes no harm. This is why, the collective has no choice but to stand for a Living Income Guarantee. I am sure that there are many soldiers who are cast out and/or realize they serve a lesser god of profit before life.

Think of someone who starts working within some process, on the bottom level and begins to understand the whole production process and moves up through the different levels of organization. They simply focus on this part of existence, it does not make them more than. Another person working may be developing themselves in another way, for instance, learning to play a musical instrument, or studying how one point in the process could be improved, etc. etc. one is not more than another, we have simply allowed money to flow into one point above another. We have maintained a system that directs money into pooling through one point without any regard  for life what so ever. This is a picture of stagnation, it is not a picture/story of development that does no harm, that does not disregard consequence of practice and consideration of earth, that on which we depend. This is a sickness, a separation from reality. What some call reality is really delusion, because in the end our lives are dependent on physical existence.

The mis-take was choosing the belief in a good and a bad, despite the tree of life emitting oxygen to breath, a tree whose form and organization as parts we can all understand, even in detail if we look.  The mis-take was believing that one thing is more than another, an in this forgetting that the physical is a form that enables the expression of life and therefor all aspects of physical existence are interconnected, it is only illusion that one is more than another. Allowing  excessive amounts of money to accumulate into the hands of a few is a crime against life, it is a separation from reality, and its consequences are in the state of ignorance that this allowance is, destructive. So the physical is diminishing as so much is destroyed and turned into a bill. This bill cannot feed us, this bill cannot suddenly become a tree again. The physical world, is life and this is the value. That figure head touted as a god is the illusion. And we were told to not create false idols.