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| Nail biting (Photo credit: JonasPhoto) |
Fear Dimension Apprehension Character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear competition.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become overwhelmed within surviving within a hierarchy where I have to perform within certain standards to remain within the race of maintaining a status within society.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to look only to what will provide a certain status within the existent system instead of realizing self direction and self honesty within a sustained strength as what is best for all, where no worry, or fear, of sense of loss exists, as within this, there is no need to lie, or pretend, no need to worry, or see only an obstacle of having made existing within the present system seem daunting and insurmountable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to begin to worry and fret about losing a library book and having to tell my parents, becoming embarrassed because I had not been responsible with a book.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the future, when the future is not even here, and thereby missing what was here within this moment.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the act of biting my nails, is myself going into self diminishment in and as allowing myself to create huge seeming tasks out of simple practical steps laid out before me in common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have preferred to play with my friends in second grade than stay after school for help after we had moved from one state to another, where the curriculum was different.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have feared spelling in the third grade, fearing I would be seen as incapable because I remember having a hard time spelling the word “radish” and to this day I still remember being afraid it would be found out that I did not know how to spell the word radish.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have believed that there was something to be lost and thus began to be apprehensive about the future, and to have kept the loss of a library book from my parents for fear I would be scolded for not having taken care of this book.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have begun to worry about where I was within a social structure, to have allowed myself to become socially conscious in around the second and third grade, where in second grade I had worried more about the wrath of my parents, and in the third grade I had begun to worry about what my peers would think of me within not being able to spell a word.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to proceed from this point within becoming overwhelmed with where I was in society and thus began to worry about what others would think of me within performance in school.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see the future within my peer group and school with dis-ease and fear, thereby becoming apprehensive about my future and worrying about possible outcomes, such as losing a library book, or not knowing how to spell a word.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that when and as I begin to bite my nails, I tense up and become a state of apprehension, as dis-ease and fear, overwhelming myself with thoughts of “what if”through imagining possible future outcomes of loss instead of practically looking at what is here, as I can only move myself within and as what is directly here,
Thus, I commit myself to , when and as I want to go into biting my nails, I stop and I breath, and I bring myself back into the physical, utilizing breath, to stand equal and one in and as breath, to reference the physical, as what is best for all, as this can only be done here.
I commit myself to realizing that self direction and self honesty cannot be found within separation as fear of loss as this is judgement and thus a lack of being equal and one with all life, here.
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