Day 306 Self Commitment Statements Disgust Character

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understand that seeking attention removes myself from here, from existing in practical common sense of how what is here is formed and functions, as I am too busy, too consumed with self validation.
I commit myself to breathing to realize myself here, to slowing myself down and to interact here, without seeking a more than in and as self validation, as what validates is equal understanding of what is here, within and without.
I commit myself to breathing, to notice that my own humiliation is believing myself to have lost a “win” of attention, as self validation, where when I become disgusted with this behavior in another, it is myself disgusted with having sold myself out to playing a superficial role within and as judging myself according to limited values to fit into and survive as a quick fix in lieu of standing up within and as myself in self responsibility to and as life, here, to have chosen a measure of protection instead is standing within and as an empathy with the nature of life, as this was not what the adults in my world existed as, having themselves sought self validation over common sense of what is here, believing much of what is here, to fit into categories within fixed defined systemic points, organized to hide self abdication from common sense and sympathy with and as life, where there is no win and no loss.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to remaining here, when and as I become disgusted with a behavior of seeking attention, as this is myself ashamed of myself for a past act of separation into wanting self validation, comfort and attention thwarted in one past moment, where so great was my shame that I did not want to face this and instead blamed another for my own failure within and as acting in self interest only to survive, and to pretend the belief as the behaviors of the adults in my world.
I commit myself to slowing myself down and breathing, to align myself with this physical world, to take into consideration how what is here exists within bubbles of vapid non self substantiating equal and one movement with here , to see, realize and understand that what validates is the value being life as what is best for all, and thus best for self, is equal and one consideration of all life with every step, with every breath.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding through breathing and slowing myself down, to be equal and one with and as what is physically stable as in realizing practically what is feasible, here, in common sense, realizing that the “rush” in and as mind fears a past and dreams of a future all available knowledge and information utilized within such fantastic meanderings a being of self based on one’s societal environment of belief, opinion and idea based on societal construct of selected and thus limited values from class, race, nationality, cultural tradition, consumerist ethic, economic availability, educational exposure only as imprinted ideology lacking physical inclusive proprioception, which cannot be self here, equal and one.
I commit myself to “standing back” into equality and oneness as breath, to slow myself down as what I am as life, as substance in constant with physical common sense equality, to see, realize and understand the tool as the mind, a register of what was made huge as value lacking common sense of physical hereness, within a systemic construct of inequality where more became more, creating less and less actual living, was an idea unsustainable and destructive as what now manifests on earth, all based on a de-cor -e made/judged as more, which was a process of separation de-coring self as life.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the disgust with myself, as myself, is the realization that the attention I seek has no real value, thus nothing becomes substantial within and as this, thus developing a character perpetually seeking for a supposed bling, energetic state, that is a state of lack, that can never be found but in short bursts, an act of depletion and separation from here, from self as life, from stability, sustainability, movement and understanding with and as life, here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that within the storm of judgement, that is a storm of separation, that is a falling into uncertainty, that is separation that is fear, attempts of redemption, as supposed acts of love, useless if done in self interest instead as the gift of life, as self being self directive in and as life, as the gist of life, thus charity without any self action/ability to stabilize within self honesty and self responsibility and self determination is a smokescreen, a show where the props are removed as soon as the cameras of profit/consumerism are removed, and what has not been done, yet what is recorded as having been done, is what is made real, and what is real as continued and increased devastation is ignored, as the picture show has become more than the actual physical world, in all common sense a crime against life, of which the solution is to create economic equality using the structure of what has been created by men, to begin the journey to life, through providing all life on earth with what is needed to exist within dignity, this being a collective realizing the value is life.

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I commit myself to slowing myself down and self forgiving myself equal and one in common sense of practical physical existence as what supports all life, realizing that what is here is same as me, in and as being a substance of life, as this is the value in and as expression, here.

When and as I sense a character of loss, as disgust, I stop and I breath, and I become one and equal with the object of my projected separation into/onto/as to realize this projection is myself falling off the wall into a million pixels/pieces as I allow myself to separate from myself into a Humpty-Dumpty of a million pieces, where I forget myself as equal and one to and as life into separation, to stop at this moment of separation and to breath, and to bring myself back here in common sense, and to become equal and one in the shoes of another, to communicate equality and oneness in common practical sense of what is real, as this actual physical world, this gift of life.

Related articles

• Day 302 Disgust Character Imagination Dimension
• Day 294 Disgust Character : Fear Dimension The Trap
• Day 300 Thought dimension Disgust character
• Day 293 Disgust Character Memory: Self Resistance
• Day 297 Character of Disgust Fear Dimension

Day 302 Disgust Character Imagination Dimension

Imagination Dimension Disgust character
I notice that when I get into an argument and become angry, I become a sneer, like I am so possessed with disgust. There is some development going on next to me, and I talked with the developer. he did not like my question, and became immediately defensive, I could feel anger coming up in me, so much smaller, yet still there. I begin to project disgust towards this person, distain, and a glee, in thinking that this person revealed themselves to me and now I have license to attack. This is all based on fear of loss, and it is the same behavior I encountered with my parents, which I wrote about in a previous blog. This, “ okay, you are acting in self interest, bullying me, so you are now equal to me, and no better than I in my own self interest, so we are even, even to be the same.” This wry smile, a glare as an expression on the face appears, like Pnadora’s box has been opened. What does this do? Nothing. And we all do this, it just moves so fast and has been done so often that we do not even notice it anymore. It is done indirectly, directly, aggressively and passively. Were it not done, than this world would be a different place. And, since this is a movement within, this suggests that this need not be what we are, as even one moment of being forgiving, means that this is what can be the movement within, it is only ourselves/myself stopping the forgiving of myself as life, within and as the principle of what is best for all. The situation I spoke of above, is about money, and all this other person could see was a threat to their money, to their survival and since these behaviors are accepted, this survival to not lose, to not face a death, be it the final death, a death of social status , a death of monetary support as in loss, within consideration of immediate self needs only, without considering what goes on for all inhabitants of earth, is criminal. How can living in constant worry about survival be an expression of life? How can we even consider that there is any other option but to care for all life, especially in the face that we have major transportation and communication systems across the earth? There is food grown all over this earth, there are robots now that can lift heavy things, I mean, there is absolutely no reason, what is here on this earth is not being taken care of as life, needs met. The only thing stopping us at the moment is an entrenched behavior of complacency. If we/I could just take a deep breath and step outside of our metaphysical minds, in not much time at all could this world be turned around. The first step is to stabilize what is here, with food and shelter and clean water. Then, once this is done, move from there.
In common sense, there are major distribution centers all over the world, I mean we can sure get guns and tanks and naval ships every where! There are even cards measuring every oyster! I mean really! There are satellites circling in space, taking picture of the earth. And it is not that rich man with the money in his pocket that placed that satellite there, the money moved the resource un-equally, but it did not physically move that resource, what has been dictated is a metaphysical idea imposed as a picture in the mind that that money created that satellite, this is, in all common sense NOT what actually, physically happened here, as a movement to place that satellite up there in space. This satellite could just as well been placed there within a system where all life was supported, because the hands of men are here, these hands have been developing what is here to enable that satellite to come into existence, for generations. Metaphysical mind is a new term for superstition, all fancied up and used in higher education for some glorifying nuance that is actually shades of grey of separation in the world of shadowy illusion, the metaphysical tool of the mind made bigger than life.
So, this disgust is my separation into self interest because I believed someone else was doing this, thus it means it’s okay for me. This is, “ Let’s open Pandora’s box together and play metaphysical dress up with separation into and as energy, let’s impose a fantasy on the physical world, a limited one at that, and cut our noses off despite our face”
The problem is that here is no such thing as win and lose, the action and belief of this means separation from here, from communication in common sense of what supports all life, where what is supportive, really supportive of self is supportive of all on earth. Thus there is only a win-win scenario within providing what is necessary for a dignified life for all of existence. And the means for this are here. This is life having a real free will, a will of itself as the substance of self, being free, and this is the nature of life, mind in place as the tool that it is, that which takes a metaphysical picture of life, but is not life, thus does the actual physical world show us the outflows of our perception, allowing us to self realize ourselves in equality and oneness in and as life. What the human has done is gotten lost in the action of the mind as the metaphysical image mechanism. It was only the desire to be a “god” that turned the mind/image maker into a reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that if I encounter self interest , as fear of loss, that I then have the right to join the game, because if you are doing it than it is okay for me to do so also.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand immediately how I have judged another as acting in self interest, to stop and not allow myself to become disgusted which means I have already also become a judgement instead of becoming one and equal to the separation as a separation from common sense, and to within this to breath and take the principle of oneness and equality, of what is best for all is best for self, and to direct myself accordingly.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the moment I imagined escaping punishment as a child, and joining the behaviors of separation as what my parents had learned and existed as, I joined in the game of win and lose, energetic polarities of separation as a total package that is an outcome of loss, yet the immediate outcome appeared to be a win, which was in essence a superficial win, as the eventual outcome would be death.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the disgust was myself that I then projected onto my parents, as I became a justifying state as a feeling in and as glee, as I had only won a momentary reprise from punishment, beginning a slow death into existing as fear, a fear of loss.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this is the past, and not myself here, and thus judging myself , and/or continuing to allow this as an adult, is unacceptable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to spite myself and the world around me, I enter the game of separation and become disgusted, wanting all around me to suffer the same.
I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to project disgust onto another, to when and as I realize what i am doing, as I remain in and as breath, here, I stop and I do not allow myself to become a habituated behavior learned in childhood in protection and defense in and as becoming a lie.
I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to compare one thing against another, using a value system of limitation from common sense of physical reality, as what was taught within my cultural upbringing, where when I find myself judging one thing as more than I go into a behavior of self disgust/inferiority and or judge something as less than where i project disgust onto that which I judge as less than and allow myself to feel superior through glee , all of this a protection defense mechanism to remain within what is believed to maintain survival within a system of inequality.
I commit myself to realizing within and as every breath, what I accept and allow in every moment here, to realize that any emotion in and as disgust is myself not wanting to stand one and equal to what is here, rejecting equality and oneness, communication with life, as I am allowing a belief, based in an image from a past as mind to be what is real.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that judgement is an imposition in and as comparison of a more than and a less than categorized value of reality according to what was learned to enable my own status maintenance to survive where I would react in a projected disgust towards what was taught as less than, and also, a self disgust for separating from equality and oneness in and as myself as life.

Related articles

• Day 300 Thought dimension Disgust character
• Day 294 Disgust Character : Fear Dimension The Trap
• Day 297 Character of Disgust Fear Dimension
• Day 293 Disgust Character Memory: Self Resistance

Day 241 Consequence Dimension : Victim Chaaracter

Consequences Dimension : Victim Character
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the consequences of my separation into and as more than and less than, as emotions and feelings following an image of myself no longer being a relationship of togetherness with my friend, as the image of myself standing separate from the object of my friend, as though I have been divided into a part with the loss of my friend, as I stand before a friend sitting with a new group of friends in/as a reaction of myself believing something has been lost, as emotional judgements of less than intensifying to a judgement of more than, are myself in separation from what is real as the physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to simply see, realize and understand with the movement of the physical world around me, what in fact was reality, where my friend was maturing into a woman and was moving towards girls moving through the same experience, where within this had I looked at the structure, as the form of society within the divisions into and as groups and the beliefs of what is of greater and lesser value as behavior within and as class, and gender, as what - especially at this young age, what appears to gather more attention, more bling, more following, more excitement, more security within and as a group, which the childhood relationship that I had had with my friend appeared small and insignificant within the larger school as we had moved from town organized elementary school into regional middle schools, and within this I took this change personally, clinging to a past and not looking to the whole, and, also, within this, instead of existing as emotions - which are self interested movements of myself as illusion, as judgement, seeing only that something was lost, and probably being aware of the changes going on developmentally around me, I felt lost as I was not developing in this way at the time, thus I was only seeing what was being made huge, as the forming groups in middle school, where even those that realize the changes tended to not want to be with what was not cool as this was all that was seen, and within this rejected others of like status as the only status seen, a behavior that fit into what is made of more import than life within the media and family, which is to say that these qualities do not exist but that this is not all that exists, as there are many values, as qualities existent within men and this earth, thus to ignore some and make others huge, denies life, and creates a mono of the poly, as style, mannerisms, presentations as assumptions without practical sustainability or consideration of what is supportive of all life in and as the physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how becoming a victim within this supposed loss, was myself clinging to an idea, as what a past relationship existed as, and the context and the construct of a society created by man that has selected ideas and values presented to signify what enables survival within this collectively accepted system of selective and thus limited values as roles/tolls taken on and performed within what will bring more attention, within this context of middle school, where other values are left on the fringes, and as the human child has not been taught to develop themselves as life, and all that is presented is limited values catering to a system of profit, not understanding how the physical and the mind in fact function, in a world that suggests, as presented through media and family values, a system of survival and not a system that respects and works with what is real, this physical world, that which the human is one and equal to, and what it is that supports the human, the physical as this is life, equal and one.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am a victim within this, to not see, realize and understand myself as life, equal and one as the substance as the mass of myself as a physical being, and thus to move myself equal and one as this physical in consideration of being equal as the same substance as the physical as myself as life, that which is the starting point of reality and the gift as life, here.

I commit myself to remaining in and as breath, to stop and recognize value judgements as what i have been taught and the memories of myself as the past being points where I separated from the physical into and as judgement of more than and less than, ignoring how the physical world in fact functions, where I applied myself as energy as judgement of more than and less than, ignoring the physical through allowing limited values to become greater than life, thus was I separate from a self directed principle as myself as life, here.
I commit myself to , breathing, to realizing that the physical is one and equal to and as me, and thus that what is real is what is here within this moment of breath, here.
I commit myself to bringing myself back here, in and as breath.
I commit myself to realize how the judgements I have accepted and allowed, being values of more than and less than, are based on fear of loss within a system of survival, as consequence of an initial separation from being equal and one as life, here, by each and every human, that have become, through habitual being as mind as myself, emotional feeling bodies, which are collections of judgements lived as a directive again and again and again, to within this stop and breath, to bring myself back here equal and one to what is real, the physical.
I commit myself to becoming aware of myself as the physical, to sense when there is a movement of myself, as a sinking down - so to speak- from my head and chest into my lower back, to stop and to breath and to realize what i am doing within my mind that creates this energetic movement within and as myself, to equalize myself to here, and walk as life, equal and one to what is physically here, where life is fluid and not this distinctly oscillating presence, as what fear and anxiety exist as within and as the physical, where - come to think of it- animals don’t do this, where yesterday I experienced an example of this, as I was in a store I frequent, and the woman, as she talked with me, I noticed was shaking really minutely, and from here I noticed her breathing, which was shallow and uneven - so to speak, and so as I payed for my purchase, I noticed her mother was absent, so as I walked out, I stopped and asked her where her mother was, and she said she had been up in the city at the major hospital with her mother, who had been found to have a tumor on her spine, and with this questioning, the store owner, this woman, started to tell the story, all the while continuing to be a behavior of agitation and a shortness of breath, so I explained how her breathing and the absence of her mother had lead me to ask her if everything was okay with her/here, and then I said to her, to slow down and to breath, and to stand up straight, and she did, and the effect was immediate, she slowed down and the agitation diminished, and suddenly, there was like a more fluid movement within and as her, and the look on her face, was of surprise, and she looked at me and said, “ oh my god!”, thank you! ( which was nice!) and she also said that her whole body started to tingle and that she suddenly felt much better, which was cool, but this just goes to show that we as humans, get caught up in our fears to the extent that we separate from ourselves as life, breathing , here, and that we as humans are able, to self realize what we are allowing ourselves to exist as within into and as fear, and how through breath we can slow ourselves down and become more calm and fluid - so to speak, and thus direct ourselves to walk through the consequences we have allowed within existing within separation from what is real, the physical.

Related articles

• Day 235 Thought Dimension / Victim Character
• Day 236 Imagination Dimension/ Victim Character
• Day 237 Internal Conversations/Back Chat Dimension : Victim Character
• Day 238 Reaction Dimension : Victim Character
• Day 239 Behavior Dimension : Victim Character

Day 222Thought Dimension; Apprehension Character; the nail biter

Thought dimension; Apprehension character; the nail biter.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself exist within friction and conflict of life, in and as a character of apprehension.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought that I must apprehend the future, apprehend what is understood to be real which is energy, as thought , emotion and feelings.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that apprehension based on what is right and wrong within survival, as the maintenance of my own creation lacking awareness of sound substance as what is best for all in common sense, are all images of loss of attention within presentation such as a fear of standing alone without a friend, or not having someone see me, or conversely, having an authority figure come and direct me within attending to ideas of how attention within the system is achieved, thus in the beginning it is the fear of authority demanding focus onto the limited design, and then in school it is a fear of loss of this attention/attending to, to understand and perceive the mechanics of a system of inequality - that is a system of separation from what is equal and the value as the primary driver as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that a peer may get more attention from friends that myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to perceive and understand a limited design of what i am as life, in order to receive attention from my peers, in order to not lose out in having attention, where the attention was as myself , in self interest, to participate within the friction and conflict as energy, a drug of excitement and entertainment, as an escape from standing up as myself in and as life, based on unnamed fears from a childhood of the bully of same apprehensive behavior taught by/modeled by parents.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought as apprehension of being blamed for/accused of in the face of questions by parents, where I can’t remember what I had done or not done, to the point where even if common sense was what might have been shared, I had accepted and allowed a pattern of fear as my response within as apprehension.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought, as image, of my peers attending to one another and leaving me out, where this is the mind, fearing loss as this being a directive, a division from common sense, instead of remaining within and as sound mind, in awareness of the structure of a systemic limited value web of separation into more than and less than self validations in separation from realizing that all that is here is of value, as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have had thoughts in middle school that I could show a friend that I was “better than”, in becoming a leader within an organization, instead of joining the girl group/click that supported the aggrandizement of the advertising world’s image and likeness of what it means to be feminine as a limited design of the female, where any girl who did not adhere/attend to this limited design was considered uncool, as in - the reverse being looc/look- as in not LOOKING the part of an accepted limited idea of what a female is and should adorn herself in and as, even down to what is the proper response of the female within being agreeable to the system, instead of speaking up in common sense of what is best for all, and following what in essence hides self direction, self honesty and self expression in and as life, where life is aware of the totality of existence and within this moves as self as life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have had the thought as apprehension, as myself rushing and pushing myself to succeed in high school, to enable myself to enter the system and survive, in and as accepting the limited means of expression, through following the proper behaviors and presentations of what sustains and maintains what is obviously a limited system as all life on this planet is not cared for equal and one as the substance of what is equal and one in all, and able to be developed, which is life, as this is the value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I had to look the part, in for example wearing high heel shoes and appearing interested and busy, instead of actually looking at what was expected as not in essence caring for this world, as what was developed was in self interest in self survival, according to dictates that perpetuated profit andbelonging to select groups that were of like programming, where these limited values where believed to be more than another, when in essence they were self selected values composed to allow survival within a bubble, and not considerate of what was existent as lack for many on this earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought, in and as an emotion of apprehension, that I would not be able to care for myself unless I conformed to certain behaviors in order to survive, where this was considered “the way it was” which i accepted and allowed, never questioning what could be physicaly manifested by the hands of men, as all that was here was built by the hands of men, which required walking though ambiguities presented that ignored what could actually physically be formed as a system that was supportive of all life on this planet, realizing that the value was life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have abdicated myself responsibility into and as becoming self righteous and being of like action as mind, where I would blame and point out what was unacceptable as viewed consequence in which I lived, not standing back and realizing the totality of the system, that from the starting point had not considered the value being life, as the value was of a fear of loss of creation minus the equality of substance in all as what was here, as the expression of this being the value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought of myself holding my ground in stubborn righteousness, not seeing realizing and understanding that this image, as what i was, was in itself not directive, and even if I were “right” it would take a large group of people to stand and sound the value being life, instead of the resource that is here determining through money, what lives and what dies, and what exists within “more and less” self development instead of equal and one development to reach full potential as the form and function of men, where life is not lived on earth until all existent is functioning as life, self directing self as life, fearless as being life.

When and as I see myself wanting to bite my nails, I stop and I breath, and I realize that becoming an emotion of apprehension, is not a solution, is a movement of myself into separation, into fear, as friction and conflict, in and as believing myself to have a choice, to make a choice within what is here, a gamble as to what enables myself to survive, where i choose from limited means in ignorance of life as the value, where the only choice is the choice of what is best for all, which takes investigation into the total pattern of men, to see, realize and understand what is supportive of all life, here.

I commit myself to no longer allowing myself to believe in the thoughts that lead into apprehension, to stop and to breath, to bring myself here, to direct myself within moving with what is here in this moment, to not accept the being of myself as energy in and as worry as thoughts of loss, rejection and instead stand in common sense of what is here that can be walked, which is, at the moment, understanding myself as what I have accepted and allowed as mind.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the thoughts in and as my mind, based on my past, lack common sense of what is best for all, here, as they are the distortion of myself into values of more than and less than, instead of myself being myself as life, equal and one, in consideration of all existent.

Next: Imagination dimension within apprehension character.

The Century of Self : Part 1 Happiness Machines

http://youtu.be/prTarrgvkjo

Psywar

http://metanoia-films.org/psywar/

The Trap

http://archive.org/details/AdamCurtis_TheTrap

The Power Principle

http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

http://metanoia-films.org/human-resources/

Catastroika - Greek Documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoNjVMhmBfM

The Marketing of Madness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vnuMhlPn9TA#!

Desteni

Equal Money

Eqafe  

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Journey To Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

Creation's Journey To Life

Earth's Journey To Life

Day 107 The character of sweetness

I was in a school one day and this little girl kept coming up to me, giving me attention etc. She was what would be called sweet. The teacher later came up to me and said that, yes, she was sweet. She then said that the children who are not doing well in their school work, often become the character of sweetness, as it gets them attention and gives them a niche within society. 

I realize I use this as well, at times, become sweetness of character, to belong.

This is not using common sense. This is fearing looking at what is here and understanding what is here. This is singularly seeking belonging,  in a physical world where, as one is here, is already within “belonging.” 

Yet, imposed within this physical world, here, where we are, thus we are being along with this physical world, we have allowed a system of competition and survival, choosing to not realize our own belonging to this world.

Our education system, our financial system, our environmental system make no sense, do not develop common sense within people, and do not practice common sense within agricultural practices.

Even within the educational system, there have been people who have stood up and said that teachers are given a new program to teach every five years ( big money) and thus, are never given a chance to use their own common sense. They are always being directed, and never having a moment to stop and actually look at what is here, and must instead follow, follow, follow. They must stand up within this, and the only way is to change this system, and this means changing what money represents. Money is the blood of this earth, and this blood is flowing into mainly one organ, it is not taking what sustains, as what it represents, and distributing it fully to support the whole organism. An organ cut of from sustenance is struggling to survive, gasping for air, and thus is so caught up in this struggle, the dizzying effects of gasping for life does not allow common sense to thrive.

A child choosing a character of sweetness, is the same. This child lacks self development, has gotten behind, and sees no hope, and thus in an effort to survive chooses what will enable acceptance. 

Then, the teachers and the students go home and watch television, go home and build dreams in their minds, pictures to color in. We have coloring books in our schools and we learn to color in, instead of actually draw. We go home and color in, as our minds as pictures, a fairy tale fantasy world, as our minds in separation of what is here, the real air, a gift of life, to live for real.

On the borders of our self colored in minds of a fairy tale, in separation from what is here, is the darkness and the monsters, the fear of no longer having our dreams, our fairy tales.

And we ask why this world is being abused, or we do not want to look, because we must give up of coloring books that are our minds, and actually stand up and reorganize this world to support the “real” story, where we can physically live and play and interact with what is here, and not with imagery as the mind.

It is really very simple, and would not take that much if we all stood together and decided to use our common sense one and equal with the physical as guide as what is real and realize that the only thing that will fall is the fairy tale in the mind, and right here the physical would catch us. 

Our present system build separation as mind, through the building of fairy tales, with all the good and the bad within the tale. But this is just a reflection of what we have allowed and accepted.

A child is so much more than just being a character of sweetness. This singularity of character creates dependency instead of self direction and understanding within common sense.

That a child is/has become a “driving force “ as sweetness, means that behind - in the shadows- is the fear, the dis-ease. She is running from a sense of not surviving. And there is no other place to go, as common sense and self development are not within the world around her.

And if questioned, many just say, “I am doing my best,” and more often than not, cannot even explain what that best really means. So singular are they themselves within their own care-actors for survival.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the character of sweetness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear no longing belonging socially should I not remain within the character of sweetness, where if I step out of character I will cause upset of expectation and thus become ostracized within the group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to not look at what exists, as I may have to say something to my best friend which will cause the relationship to end and thus I will no longer have my friend and will be alone, when in fact I was not living while ignoring my own common sense and existing as being a character of sweetness before that which is the real value, the value of life, before my own self interested survival ignoring what is best for all in common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing my footing should I step out of the character of sweetness, not realizing that within stepping out of character, I might actually develop a care actor within and as common sense as what is best for all is best for myself, and thus I would no longer have a life as a fairy tale in and as my mind, and instead, actually learn to exist multidimensionally one and equal to a real picture/reality as what is physically here, that which is the real “toy” to “play” with.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I must face the illusory monsters of the mind in order to see how much of a mirage they really are to step beyond them and see what is physically real on this earth, and take the time to look at the absence of ease existent on this earth which is due to the lack of common sense of actual physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I require the imposition of an image, in and as my mind to direct me, not realizing that this becomes bigger than life and consumes the physicality of myself and thus do I age and diminish back into dust, never transcending equally with  this physical real world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the present system of capitalism adds a name to resource and controls how this resource is distributed without consideration and regard for the care of this earth, evident within the existence of starvation, the destruction of the soils on this earth,  the non development of the human to use common sense ( I mean some people cannot even use a hammer!).

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stand back and to question why a child has become the character of sweetness, to realize in totality the functioning of the present system on this earth, to investigate the money system , the agricultural system, the health system, the government, and to actually look at the structures and not take the word of someone within the system who fears for their own survival and is choosing to not look, as this would mean they would have to stand up and support what is real, this physical world, where best practices are known, yet a best practice does not divide and conquer and thus allow a few to own, as best practices often develop autonomy and self direction, allowing the nature of what is here to express itself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that “sweetness” cannot really exist as an absolute, without hidden monsters in the shadows as the fear of survival - as the imposed driving image that stagnates the absolute expressive-as-life ability of that child- until all life is given what is needed to maintain the organ of self and the surrounding environment in and as what is real, where life is lived for real, here and not as some belief, opinion and idea built to maintain a separation from what is actually physically, in common sense, here.

I commit myself to developing my own common sense of myself as a physical being, and to remain within a sense of my breath in every moment.

I commit myself to realize the real air, that is here, physically here, through remaining aware of my breath in every moment, even within moments where I see I am reacting to an idea in and as my mind when I am interacting with others.

I commit myself to breathing and reading blogs of self forgiveness for twenty one days no matter what, to begin to see, realize and understand the existence of myself in and as images in and as my mind, to become aware of how much I have separated myself from what is actually physically real.

I commit myself to realizing my own ability as life to look.

I commit myself to realizing my own ability as life to hear.

I commit myself to realizing my own ability to develop an awareness of my breath in every moment with every step I take.

I commit myself to realizing that I am more than the character of sweetness.

I commit myself to stepping out of the character of sweetness, to become one and equal to what is real, this physical world, able to be organized in such as way that all life is supported, so that the sweetness of what is real, as life can begin.

I commit myself to realize how my character facades mask my fears and that this polarity of character within is the fairy tale/tail of my own separation from what is actually physically real as what I am actually in perception of, is an imagination in separation from physical practical common sense.

I commit myself to stepping out of my own accepted and allowed self definitions that are self interested survival defense mechanisms, and to use  the breath, to realize myself here as what is real, this physical world, the real story, where becoming one and equal to this physical world, is like having a real “playground” as life, a ground as earth to build as a system that supports all life equally, where no matter where I walk, I am able to express myself as life, and not to fear for my survival, walking on battlefields of destroyed earth as a few divide and conquer to live a limited fairy tale existence in separation from life, as many of the ones who benefit the most, just appear to exist as a mannikin of polished presentation and do not have any real skills other than appearing shiny and new like a fancy sports car where I have to ask myself, “Is this life?”

No it is not, it is only a polished object as vapid and useless as much of the obsolescent products placed beneath shiny bright lights that exist within our stores and nothing else.

Equal Money

Self Forgiveness Blogs

Act in Every Breath

Day 91 The character of believing I must have something to say.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not having anything to say.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I must have something to say in response to what is being said around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I will lose something if I do not have some kind of response to what is being said within my environment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there must be something said or I will not have the “gain” of being noticed or insightful.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is not about having something to say, or something not to say, it is about being here, in breath, being a living word, where what is real is what is physically here and not some image in and as the mind, not a continuation of friction and conflict as relationships are feared being lost, where I fear something might be lost should I not have a response.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see that there is nothing to be lost, as I am here, physically here and this is what is real.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I am here, with breath, where in breath I remain here, and thus have common sense within the principle of oneness and equality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that my responses within the need to speak, as in believing I have to add to the conversation are an opportunity to see what characters I have accepted and allowed.

Within this;

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I will be considered less than should I not find a response or add to the conversation.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that there have been times when I judged another as not being worthy of being given a response.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I believe I must be lively, every minute and come up with some addition to a conversation, just to add something, I am exhausting myself, where I will become tired and then want to leave the social situation, thus what is best for myself is to utilize breath and remain here, and when I do not have something to say that is not forced I simply remain quiet.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that remaining quiet is anti-social.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to attach a negative emotion/polarity to remaining quiet when I feel the need to say something and in fact I simply do not have a response to give in every moment.

I forgive myself to fear being labeled as anti-social should I not constantly have something to say to match what is being said in every social situation.

I commit myself to remaining here, in and as breath, and to realize when I am saying something just to appear to be apart of a conversation.

I commit myself to realizing that in speaking to appear to be a part of the conversation I am in fact serving my own self interest based on ideas and values in separation from what is best for all life within the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to exist in fear of being considered anti social should I not respond and add to every conversation I encounter.

I commit myself to no longer being the character of believing there is something I must add to conversations in fear of losing some social status.