Day 478 A hangover as data of knowledge and inFORMation.

I have been writing every day, but unable to post. Somehow the words just don’t fit what I want to say. 

I have had so much knowledge and information passing by that it all seems to be the same to me, the same limitations, the same wars, the same things being said again and again.

When I go to take a test that I am prepared for, I am calm.  I just walk it, do it. 

But, right now it is like I am at war with myself. Like I keep wanting to react, in short bursts of rapid gun fire, but I have to pull myself back. Like, NO! and then in a more gentle voice, come back, like that reaction serves no purpose.

It is an idea based on no real thing and as such is devoid of purpose. Lack of purpose misses the mark, and as such becomes frustration. Frustration is simply not being here, right here, equal and one in common sense to what is here. So used to racing that this can be missed.

In may ways it is like having a hangover. I feel like I am in a state where I want this hangover out of me, I want it gone, it is heavy, it is so tricky, so clingy. I find myself suddenly imagining something, usually a gloom and doom scenario, and or suddenly a magical fairy tale that appears to promise something. I realize this is more dream than reality. And yet underneath it all, there is what we all want, and that is to get along with one another, to actually enjoy one another. This happening in a state of ease, a state of calm, like when one is ready to take a test, and even looks forward to it. 

In so many ways this should be what happens as we as men enter this earth, a looking forward to understanding this actual real physical world. 

And yet, what happens to us? We become combatants in a war zone. It is the consequence of hierarchy, the consequence of judgement, the consequence of measuring one thing against another without looking at what is the same, which is the breath of life, the movement that is creation. And that creation is like an eternal ocean underneath all of it, so huge, so willing to just be. Instead we are all moving within very limited, selected popisms, pop ups as ideas, as pictures, as skips in sequences of what is real in total. And there is a machine within us, that holds this, as wired as any television set. It is just that we are so consumed by the imagery that we cannot see the mechanisms of it.  And we keep looking with the mechanism, instead of looking at the physical. I mean, why is the anecdotal considered insubstantial? Why is data considered to hold more value? And why is data now considered private?

Data is now being moved into any number of justification : trade secrets, privacy laws,  professional requirements to be able to decipher ( which means properly programmed to the limitation). All of this means that each of us has an innate capacity to realize the limitations being the justifications for choices made as the forms of description ( encryption)  filed away to support the directives based on an idea. This is each of us supporting this, we are the web accepting the limitations, the beliefs, the manipulations, despite the evidence of the harm anecdotally all around us. 

One example of how we take parts to justify a means is a recent vaccine justification I heard.

The doctor, supposed doctor, said that polio is breaking out in Syria, and then relates this to vaccines in general, saying we need vaccines in America. THis a movement from one point to a collective point within this platform of vaccines in total. Tying all to one. Also, taking a war torn country, where the infrastructure has been droned to rubble, thus all water and shelter is severely diminished causing a lack of basic human physical needs, which lead to disease. So to compare, as in pointing out only that polio is appearing in Syria within the state of Syria without clarifying this, and as this relating this to justify a need in America makes no sense, even if it were true, the basis of this. THis is misinformation, it builds no understanding of the total picture, and as such this is a limited story presented to justify an end, and force that end on others, using a threat that is not disclosed, presupposing an outcome without any real investigation. I can see here where this can become a spin, a snake eating its own tail, if we allow it.  In essence this is using a war zone, an extreme to determine a mean to be imposed on all equally. That is just criminal.

In another way, this is using taxpayer dollars to create an extreme environment and then to use the consequences to decide that what counters the disease in such a situation needs to be given to all, just in case such comes out way. This is fear mongering. THis is what if? And all the while, what is causing the disease, self created, is not looked at. How the environment on which we live as this physical earth, when shredded, causes all manner of a diseased life. 

THis is running after consequence of destruction, ignoring the act that caused the dis-ease and deciding that the bandaids are a solution.

And this is also done by not clarifying the sequences. For example, the whole vaccine debate revolves around word play, parents believe that vaccines are causing Autism. The industry and our so called administrations are saying that vaccines do not cause autism. ( meanwhile “ royalities/revenues are all tied into this, like the music industry asking rap to sing words that impulse criminality to fill prisons and if they do not, then the prisons won’t be filled and their investments will not make them any money - which over all must be a configuration done internally because a few own everything, they own the puzzle pieces and can move them in ways that enslave, meaning it is all bullshit and criminal over all)  Here a step has been skipped, a detail not mentioned. It is that vaccines cause inflammation of the brain and this leads to Autism, which as I understand is accepted by the government/taxpayer revenue - who, monetarily,  carry the ill effects of vaccines. The industry  reaps the profits, to then have the means to manipulate the pieces of what builds revenue to force outcomes in self interest( the one wanting the impulsing “ rap” to create revenue from prisons). The walls of the castle hide behind detail not being mentioned to maintain inequality, which again, leads to the hiding of data. And the need to hide this, means that we are all capable of understanding here, this actual physical world. Use “ speed” to hide this, as in “ not having the time” and the villian cannot be pinned down. So word play and timing are used to hide reality.

Another aspect within the timing, is in education. It is known that to master something, such a music skill, takes about 10,000 hours. If schools divide this time, and ensure such number of ours as direct interaction are not met than skills are not moved into a level of mastery. And as we can see, if we have mot mastered words, then we cannot catch the manipulations of ourselves within beyond the 1. the amount of limited story impulsed, and 2. the use of words to hide and limit disclosure, and all the laws built around the maintenance of this. I mean it is known that giving children an hour of recess will improve the overall child’s ability, because within recess, there is a direct interaction with words being used, and perceptions being lived out, exposing a child to a broader range of movement and thus developing depth perception.

I mean the instances I site above reveal the importance of the physical above and beyond and data, information touted through media and those educated to the programming that is voiced in maintaining the status quo of inequality and paychecks. 

We are abdicating our compassion towards physical existence. We are abdicating our community, as humans, as men, to be impassioned with and as ourselves as physical beings, here. Such a subtle difference causing a massive disconnect. But this shows the way out of this mess. That we all realize the capacity of ourselves as life to understand life. And that what we have allowed as mind is the dominance of idea in separation from practical physical reality. THis is why the physical is the gift of life, because it is stable, it is here, more real than any ideological heaven. Thus, the physical is for the human to self realize through becoming equal to what is creation manifest within what works and does no harm and physical interplay of sound into form and thus the joy of expression.

The solution is to give everyone a Living Income Guarantee. To ensure that all have a basic income to support themselves as physical beings. This will allow all of us to slow down for a moment and really look at what we are doing. Even if we all remain where we are, to keep the system going for a moment, the relieving of economic stress will open up our innate spatial capacity to see what we have done, to forgive this, and to realize step by step how to reorder all of this into a system that respect all life, and does what causes no harm. A Living Income Guarantee will remove the speeding time frame that is part of what is used to cause a cognitive dissonance of misinformation, that is composed of limited disclosure, this all being a legerdemain, a slight of hand. And this is created by how each of us move as mind within. If we had economic stability, we would realize this in short order. It is that simple.

Day 477 The muddy waters of the impulses of consumerism.

I notice this “ mud” as I want to call it, coming up/coming down when I am around people. I try to avoid it through talking, and then I become excited about talking which can appear calm in many ways because over time I have learned to dampen this as this is accepted social behavior, but it is really a suppression of a desire, and the desire is to hide the underlying emotions, that are a series of judgements based on past events, that, in themselves have nothing to do with practical reality.

Because I am walking the desteni I process, I have taken the time, and used the tools of self forgiveness, writing and practical application to realize what i am accepting and allowing inwardly that is slowing me down and limiting me as behaviors that separate me from being here and enjoying life simply.

The self judgements that are this “ mud” are insidious, they are myself comparing myself to a set of limited values that we can all realize, as these values are what is impulsed all around us by a world system that is in itself of limited values to control existence as a belief that men are greater than existence in total and that within this some men are more than others, this being this actual real physical world, hiding that which is real right in front of us, veiling this in the same manner within as is used without; touting directives that suggest survival within this hierarchy where if one follows the limited values one can end up accumulating money and thus sit on top or one can end up on the bottom and fall off all together. Of course there is only so much room on top, so it is inevitable that many will fall. And it has nothing to do with how hard one works, it has to do with how hard one lies directly or indirectly by omission. Lying is ignoring reality. 

My value judgements are where I have accepted and allowed the limited values of this system, they are me comparing myself to limitation that is used to control. They are where I abdicated myself in common sense of life, the physical. They are my veil of separation, and they are the voices and pictures cluttered with limited values, the are vile. They are heavy, they are blinding, they lack insight, they lack depth perception. They create a bubble of pictures around me that, over time, become hidden, as the conscious mind morphs them into symbols of supposed “ good” and as this hide the bad. They are myself when I converse to validate, when that rush to tell my story comes up with a sense of anxiousness to protect others seeing my belief in myself as perhaps lacking in something. This can occupy myself so much that I no longer see my own constraints as belief, opinions and ideas that measure myself to a limited value system. They are myself bearing no real witness to life. They are myself forgetting within survival instead of being forgiving as myself as life, equal to physical reality, that which carries all of this imagined mental construct.

Just before my husband committed suicide, I started to see some things that I questioned around him. I could see one day, like a film around him, where the edges popped like the surface of soda pop. I also could see this anxiety, this subtle shaking as him, and I see this in other men too. This is the bubble of energy that is the mud of separation from being equal and one to physical existence, this is the accumulation of obeisance to a lesser god of hierarchy, and it uses the same tactics and techniques as the consumerist/corporate/economic system determining our lives around us; the media, our education system, our health system, all of it. Even the colors in the screen/surface of the bubble are the same slight blue tinge as our television and electrical lights. As within, so without. Yet so blinding is this energy when followed the real life in the shadows that is considered the “ bad” is what is real, thus life is in reverse. 

We need only realize the amount of abuse and destruction via pollution and starvation, via lack of human development - all development, to realize that we are not in fact taking care of life, and as such not being life. It is the physical world that is what is real. As such the anecdotal is considered circumstantial, and data diluted with a means, is considered real, and meanwhile the abuse on the ground is all around us denied by oversight committees wanting to push the decision onto another committee because the truth be told would end their salaries. 

In a profit based system, cures/solutions do not maintain dividend - the divided end; together we stand divided we fall. I mean, of course the next step is to hide data, because the numbers used simply do not add up. Ironically, with computers it can all be made visible. Digital money can reveal exactly how money moves. And programs are easy to download. Everything is moving faster too bad it was not the human within themselves. And yet, this is still the human not standing up, so it will not work, because we, each of us must in the end, stand for life. Our computers can be used to really see what is going on, this will mean standing up. What is here is to support life, and what has been created can be used to correct the inequality to life that exists. Make no mistake about it, as long as poverty exists, life does not. Equality is the way out. The only way, Becoming equal and one to and as life, here.

Day 476 Accessing Knowledge and Information

I notice that I access data within and as me as belief, opinion and idea, as a protection and defense mechanism to try and remain standing here, within my survival environment, and within this I become very anxious. Like I use listing as knowledge and information to counteract, to control, to avoid, to destroy what I perceive as allowing this, to be what exists here.

Like I am in full combat, and my knowledge and information is my gear, a game of elimination, which is blame and spite. If I do not have enough knowledge and information I will lose.

Many times I have read something with the intent to remember it to use it to validate myself, and prove some point that if I had looked, I might have noticed the lack of substance that it had in totality, because such beliefs, opinions and ideas, were answering to a limited culture and not what existed here in totality.

Within this, the fear became bigger than realizing here, than my own common sense, hence the anxiety, because common sense has more substance than any belief system that demands a game of associations and relationship building that serves ideologies of right and wrong, more than and less than, ideas about how something should be, this in separation from an inclusion of the physical world that is right here, that is what sustains us, thus what is needed to be considered in all action, in all movement.

Someone once told me that to master something it must be done with gentleness, meaning that sensing something requires being relaxed in order to sense the thing, embrace without harm, the action the movement. I notice that my anxiety is of a state of racing, of believing there is something I want, or need, in order to find order, when the opposite is what is needed, a slowing down, an acceptance in order to see here. Breathing can aid in this, especially when the anxiety comes, because within this I am believing that if I do not have enough knowledge and information, I will fall. Living is not a race.  Living is being here understanding how the physical world functions, how it works. 

The mind accumulates what is placed before it leading to a conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind, that becomes a map of one’s perceptions, thus what goes in is what comes out, and if the within is not equal to the without, a conflict accumulates within and builds conflict without until what does not work is discarded, by then, one is older and life has gone by.  This mind is like a spiraling mechanism of  counter point, it uses polarities of good and bad, right and wrong, this causing chaos, slowing down direct seeing.  Our choice is to eat this mechanical superficial apple of good and evil or we can breath, and forgive ourselves back to what we all long for, which is our common sense, an embrace of life without conditions as beliefs. Associations of knowledge and information, like our varying layered committees of “ professionals” create an answerless society, and it is all of us that are this web, thus it is all of us that are the cause of starvation and abuse to life.  The conflict, a game of hiding and blame and spite is rejecting embracing what does no harm. This need not exist and is, by nature, destructive. And it is all held in place because of how money has been allowed to determine life.

From the beginning, understanding of physical reality leads to life, not the cognitive dissonance and misnomers of one thing being more than another, not the borders of division as the developed suits of men used to define through comparison only, the whole shebang  that which only looks at differences and not similarities, and then blaming the differences for the problems, when being different is not the problem, it is not realizing the starting point of sameness, and from here enjoying the differences.

I noticed a web site where jewelry was a image of a chemical construct, like how chemists show diagrams of certain chemicals. One can wear this way of mapping a chemical construct around ones neck as a symbol. And then, during this time, I was soaking my feet in something to get a mineral into my body, and I did this because I have rubbed garlic on my feet to see if, as I had read, I could then taste the garlic in my mouth, and it worked. So, somehow, in the way that I move, I realized that gee, if our feet can take in/sense garlic and absorb minerals then our feet must be these amazing sensing mechanisms, and we are not even using them! I mean, what if we learned to name the things our feet sensed through our other faculties, such as the taste of something in our mouths? What if we learned to understand the composition of something on the ground with our feet? It is possible, even though no one can do this at present. 

So, here I am this mind system of knowledge and information and I am spouting this and existing within a very very limited culture that is a very very limited hierarchy of control , which would be the choice of control on top of what is real as the physical, and would also within this, over time become more and more and more limited, impulsing more and more limited perceptions to blind and suppress what is innate within the human physical body, just because of a starting point of a few that their differences were somehow more than another’s and within this deciding as a belief that they/we had to control this?. This is just simply a cycle of insanity. There really are no other words for it. I mean we build machines that are of parts that function, without one part the whole simply does not work. Earth is a “ machine” and this is the value, a computer would not work if every part was at war, it would destroy itself. Which is what humans on earth are in essence doing. My associative game in my mind, as my mind, is my separation. I am ignoring my gift, my physical gifts of life, my apps, the application of myself as my physical body, with life, to be life.

Thus, and what a thought, our feet are like the greatest apps ever created and we are not using them. Instead we have externalized our capacity into technology. But, we have already done this with a belief in a god - a previous generation of referring to something other than our innate physical capacity of common sense. What all of us need to do, is accept ourselves as life, and begin to equalize, or walk ourselves back into what we are as physical beings that are the greatest “ app” available , in tandem with this “ phone” of earth, this “ fun” as the physical, to be and become our bearth-rite of passage to life.

Thus, when and as this anxiety comes up within and as me, with knowledge and information whirling around, I stop and I breath, and I look to the beliefs as the knowledge and information, and the ideas of need and want and I forgive such ideas, and bring myself here, until I am at ease, until I am humble, until I am willing the giving up of all opinion and idea as the values of my culture ( as not being the only solution because there is good within this ) , the beliefs as my past that I use to define me, the sequences of events that as my past that I use to substantiate me, and I stop and I breath, and I do not allow myself to become inferior or superior, as this is myself in protection and defense in the order of a hierarchy that is unequal to physical reality, and within this state of accepted and allowed inequality to the physical world, I become an energetic movement of anxiety as I am within judgement of relating through associations that are consequences lived out for generations from a starting point of separation from physical reality.

So, within this,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear living.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from my human physical body, into a mind system that is a collection of ideas, opinions and beliefs that are a limited construct of what is real the physical reality, and as such an image and likeness that is not sustainable, and as such needs constant validation to keep the fires of itself burning, as this division via judgement of differences, is creating good and bad, instead of being equal to what does no harm and supports all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that children are not born with personalities, and as such have no programs of culture, thus what it is that child becomes is impulsed into them, where an ability to have divergent thinking is lost as the programs accumulate and become the directives, creating a human being who is limited in what has gone within, and this within not being equal to common sense, causes the child to slow down and follow limitations instead of developing an awareness of physical reality in form and function.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I need my mind of ideas, beliefs and opinions, to direct me here, not seeing realizing and understanding and equalizing myself to the common sense that absorbed the knowledge and information of a culture of hierarchy that is in totality a separation from life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that facing the storm of separation as thoughts, opinions and ideas is a taboo, culturally.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the reactions of a entity voicing limitations as ideas, beliefs and opinions be it myself within or another without, and within this to not see, realize and understand that the storm of separation as limitation as what has been impulsed by a system of inequality, as hierarchy is and does, is disrupting a habit that is in total unacceptable, and must be faced for which I as life have as common sense here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear using common sense, to believe that common sense is somehow dirty, when from the mind’s perspective, common sense is destructive, but of the separation and limitation only, thus common sense is like a mechanism, a medicine for life, for this earth, for each cell, for each self, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being in common sense, to fear being humble, to fear being at ease, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear limitation, to believe that limitation can exist.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear separation, to believe that separation can exist.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that ease is like the warmth of the sun, nurturing and forgiving of what allows direct seeing, and thus self autonomy as life, here.

                                    

Day 475 ALl SEe the fAL SE confidence and comfort.

When I am facing a woman with young children, girls, and I talk with them and they are accessing their pride, and saying that everything is okay, I go into insecurity, as I allow myself to compare myself to them, which is myself comparing myself to an idea, like a Utopia as a potential that i believe I have not lived, and then I go into insecurity where I think, who am I to say? Who am I to suggest to another what they should or should not do?

This is all guilt based on ideas, as to what and how I should be some kind of super being, accomplishing some overarching idea. The problem is that this is a separation from common sense on a physical planet.

I am so busy chasing a norm that I am not looking around me practically, and instead just compare myself to reality and measure with an idea. That makes no sense. If the reality around me has not reached the ideal, and this has been going on for a very very long time, then what I am doing as chasing an idea is not working. The practical has not been actually lived, thus it is to look at the physical reality and reevaluate it in total. Which also means to reevaluate what I have accepted as allowing ideals to have me running on a tread mill instead of being practical here, equal to physical reality.

I remember feeling as though I did not fit in at various stages of my life. One that is dominant at the moment is a memory of a party at the Kindergarten my children attended. I felt very separate from the other mothers, as though I could not communicate with them. And I felt that my husband was tired of his foreign wife, me, and had lost patience for my reticence. I remember trying to hide this, and appear happy and congenial. Something happened at this fest, where i had to leave, and my husband stayed. My younger son fell and gashed his head open. We had tried to stop the bleeding but it would not stop so I took my son to the emergency room, where he ended up getting a number of stitches to close the wound and stop the bleeding. I remember feeling annoyed that I had to leave, because I wanted to get through this awful feeling, and because of the belief that I held/ was projecting with this, that my husband was seeing me as not getting along socially, I wanted to “ prove” that this was not true, because I feared him rejecting me for not being buddies with the other community members which I determined as a picture show of a lot of demonstrative behavior such as hugging as acting all excited about meeting someone, or gushing smiles all over the place. I believed because I was not this character/presentation, that there was something wrong with me.

Here I was with this very heavy feeling, and i had to leave and not work it out, plus I had to carry these emotions that I had not worked out with me. I even remember being sightly annoyed with my son, because he had done this before. He was a very physical person, always moving his body, using all of it. very agile. Perhaps he was as overwhelmed with the scene as was I.

I have never been comfortable in crowded events. And yet, I have played in musical groups that make a lot of noise, lol. Obviously, the structure of a musical event I am more comfortable with, whereas a social event is unnerving to me because I have allowed it to appear to not have any structure. or, if I do see a structure, I suppress it, based on the same that creates the problem in the first place, having an idea within this context. I have an idea about how I should appear instead of just simply being here. If such has been going on for generations within each person, than social events must be unnerving for the majority of the population, because if we as humans were honest, self honest, then our outer physical world would not be in the present destructive state it is in, of which there is no denying, we need only look around, and it is time to look at what is here in total, and perhaps it is because of becoming an idea that one physical part is more than another, which ignores physical fact, and creates the feelings that I experienced, as inferiority, causing me to feel insecure and then fear the loss of position, which would be an outcome of a separation from practical physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I am less than another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from practical physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to measure myself as being less than another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that this huge dark gloomy thought weighing me down is not based on practical physical reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I felt insecure based on a limited idea in and as my mind, instead of allowing myself to be practical within the situation of social interaction, where ironically, I participated in social groups working together in a very structured situation and as such directed myself, thus the answer was really right in front of me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow an idea of being less than to become so huge within and as me, that I created my own separation from reality based on judgement within ideas instead of being equal to physical reality in common sense.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and really look at this memory, where I do not even look at the world around me, and within this, being annoyed that I have to leave and not sort this out, that I did not have the opportunity to move myself into the social scenario and interact with others and investigate how I felt.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have feared being considered unsocial.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have blamed the society around me, for a impractical self created belief of inferiority.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an idea about what i should look like, as in exhibiting very demonstrative behaviors of running up to other woman and hugging them and acting like I was so glad to see them, many of whom at that time I saw on a daily basis, so such behavior was silly in such a situation and not something to measure behavior by.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to blame how I felt on the culture, on the differences in culture, when in fact i have felt the same way within my own culture.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must appear ebullient in social settings.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a behavior of indifference in social settings, being spiteful and arrogant to counteract an idea that I create that I should appear all smiley and happy and witty in social situations and if I do not , from one such event to the next than there is something wrong with me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that under this current of insecurity that has no real substantiveness with practical physical reality, I have created a protection and defense layer of judgement as spite and blame to and towards the environment, using cultural definitions of behavior as to how one should look and behave, and personal behaviors where I select individual persons to gravitate to that I believe will alter the idea I have accepted and allowed as inferiority to turn this into a superiority image socially to justify equality that is as my mind limited and done in the self interest of a system of separation from common sense of  the physical being life, where equality was always the constant and it is/was myself that moved and separated from this practical fact of life on earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to look for confidence via judgements of objects and manner being more than and less than, all based on ideas as to how an object should look, and or, a person should exude in manner and dress as cultural ideas about what is a measure of more of this and or more of that.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that such chains of belief are real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this is a survival suit, developed over time, from day one, as the environment around me, which I accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I go into a shortness of breath, I am no longer here, thus a shortness of breath, is myself going into anxiety, being anxious about my own survival, and since I live in a part of the world where social connections are huge and believed to be how one survives - of which all is based on illusion composed of limited values that are not necessarily all good or bad - my impulses are based on very petty ideas of what is more and what is less as survival within this hierarchy that is in itself in separation from practical physical, real life sustaining, reality.

When and as I sense myself becoming anxious, paying attention to my breath and the thoughts as back chat circulating in and as my mind, I slow myself down and I breath, and I see realize and understand that the ghost in the machine as my mind consciousness system is just this, a ghost in a gift of life as my human physical body, that is a lesser directive based on a limited context that has been accepted and allowed as the humans on earth that are in total in separation from including all life as the value.

When and as I find myself becoming anxious within and as the movement of my breath, i slow myself down and I forgive the thoughts of insecurity via reminding myself I live on in a physical world that is as much life as myself, and that an idea of one thing being less than another is the separation from what is real, and as this that any thoughts of comparison towards another person or object is based on an idea, and that this idea does not define me unless I accept and allow this, as I can only be here practically in this moment.

When and as I find myself becoming tense in and as my breath, I slow myself down and I forgive the idea that one thing is more than another and I realize the practical nature of the physical world within and as form and function being respected as nature as the physical is in reality a magnificent mechanism for the expression of life.

When and as I find myself tensing up into using protection and defense, as opinions and ideas and beliefs, and as such my breath becoming short and uneven, I stop and I slow myself down and i breath,  and I forgive the positive and negative values about the objects and behaviors of others in my world, which I have used to lead me to a place of false comfort and  false confidence, instead of being practical here, realizing the physical world around me as being equal and one to and as me, and within this to not react to the same behaviors I have accepted and allowed within to affect me as this is played out in others, as it is the collective that has accepted and allowed the generations of separation as ideas made bigger than life that has as a collective, lead to a collective disrespect and thus destruction of the gift of life as the physical world as this earth.

When and as I find myself becoming short of breath, and heavy with thoughts as back chat in and as my mind, I slow myself down and I breath, and I realize that this f-AL SE confidence and comfort would create that which I fear, as I am existing in judgement that ALL SEE. thus, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from here, from equality and oneness to and as the physical world.

When and as I find myself short of breath, I slow myself down and I breath, and I let go of a divisor in and as judgement of how something should appear to be  as a definition based on ideas, opinions and beliefs and I realize the mechanism of the physical world is the value that can be directed as life within as the principle of what is best for all, that the fAL SE confidence and comfort is myself in FEAR of life, for which I slow myself down and breath, until I become stable in principle as what is best for all.

Day 474 The chaos of inequality: An inchoate Life. STOP.

I think it was about 2000, the spring of 2000. I noticed that every leaf on a tree was moving with absolute purpose. every leaf, every inch of every leaf, absolute purpose, absolute focus. So directed. Sensing every leaf on that tree definitely boggled my mind. The moment before this happened, I had decided that I had to give everything up, everything. At that moment it was as though everything left me, all that I used to define myself. And then what came was the realization that nothing I thought mattered, mattered. 

Looking back at my life, I realized that I had done this before, and always there was a point of a certain measure of clarity. The first time I remember this happening, shortly there after the first vortex like tunnel appeared. What I saw was myself at the other end of the tunnel, I was in winter, and on the other side was summer, and I was the grown woman in the summer land. I was twelve and in the summer land I was in my early twenties attending the college on which ground I stood. Of course, I had to live to that age and beyond, to when it happened again to begin to realize what was happening.

Focus, here. What is this for real? What does it mean to focus here absolutely? How, inwardly does one focus here? Does television impart the development of focus here? No. It grabs the focus of us. It can make parts of reality bigger, brighter than other parts, it can show only parts of and even edit out what is not wanted to be focused upon. Is the motivation behind this one of self interested profit? Thus, is this everywhere, a legerdemain, to take one’s eyes off the land. Dis-traction from that which is real, because then in a moment one might notice that all the leaves on a tree move in absolute purpose. And then the television will no longer have any real value. The land becomes the value, the earth becomes more real than any box of colored / divided lights.

My chest is in a knot. I could not move it. I felt very weak. I had to go into it, to find what was weighing me down.  At the same time that it feels like it has pressure on it, it feels like it wants to explode. And it is not my heart, I can’t pin point it yet. I had to get it to move - so to speak. I had to be able to focus on it for an extended period of time, to catch some movement, some way to move it. There was a moment of the slightest movement. It was fluid, a tiny movement that I felt was being absolutely forgiving. makes sense as this is movement, the only kind, movement happens in no other way, just as the leaves on the tree. There is no other way to move, otherwise it is destructive.

How is this same action manifest without, and within this, an accumulation of this over time?

Our American Congress can’t solve the problems of growing poverty and decay in America because they are not being absolutely forgiving, within the purpose of the constitution, which is to do what is for the common good, as this is the only choice. Our representatives can’t figure out a way to do what is for the good of the land and maintain their “ more than” profits because the only solution is equality. We have to give up usury. It is that simple.

So, I had a knot in my back, I had to go into this to realize the movement of myself within that I had accepted and allowed, name it and direct it. I wrote it out and scripted directives as words as structures to direct myself within focusing myself away from a bad habit as a belief into what moved. 

Now I have to do this again. 

Playing the violin is cool, because it demands focus, here. Focus through social politics, through inner emotional states, one has to learn to let things go and focus, here. It means standing within an absolute purpose of what is forgiving in a physical world that exists because each part makes it possible. Thus, usury is not an equation of life because usury uses limitation of some for the gain of others and justifies this within touting what is the exception as being a more than in comparison to the limitations such actions create.  A snake eating its own tale/tail. Ironically, in the end neither wins. The only win-win is equality, it is through balance as the physical world in full function that life can begin. The real story is the physical, not the layered self definitions as values in a limited story competing for self definition creating the self aggrandizement that is the act that separates into the chaos of inequality.

This morning I thought someone had arrived at my house, and immediately there was like an electrical branding on my chest, the picture was like one of those new bar codes, like a Mayan image of pixillated squares aligned in a pattern, and with this an entity presence as the story given as told by this person, a compound image perceived through my own cultural bias lens. Its story was of the good, the values, as having some significance, the limitations not expressed and this because common sense is not taught, only fairy tales that bear no witness to the actual real physical landscape on whose ground our feet walk as physical beings. We, us humans, are in separation from what is real, from the physical world, we are in separation from life.

When this fear ripped through me, I realized it was as though I was a child again, fearing to face what registered in my mind as an idea, that facing the adults in my world was like facing monsters. I am trying to face the emotional values, the feeling values as the conscious mind projecting the good to self validate, and ignoring the consequences of the effects of accepting this lesser god on what is real, which is the physical world, the very substance of life.

I was allowing the story, the projections of good, running from common sense, to be a burden I do not want to face. I have to remind myself that I was a child as all of this was informed as how a human directs to become a part of a social network made bigger than the physical network as the land that is what is real. Actually, the social network of ideological values is limited, though once intrenched in this, one stands in a forest of artific-ial electric screens that exist only in constant broadcast, the real forest working away underneath - the life of which is slowly diminishing as a consequence and we need only read the news to realize that this is happening, and here, I must say that the artifice -ial value system is slowly but surely consuming the gift of life as the physical.

I notice a fear within me, a sense of being unworthy, the shame there somewhere, a condition of politeness in not upsetting the status quo of limitation as a social network of men endlessly telling their stories of gain within what is in total a limited system.

And the thing is, is that we all know we are doing this. Just as I had the thought that I do not want to face this, so too do others. The simplified images spinning around in our minds are  so because as our separation compounds, memory is saved in a simpler image, the values accumulated that seem to justify the separation. As we can see, laws are being passed that make no sense of reality. They ignore what is abusive and accept what satisfies and justifies what is a form of spiritual usury, where each point on a grid as a social network in total is in separation from reality believes its ideological self to be real, despite the harm of this inner constitution of ignorance - is our Congress the outward manifestation of the inner state?

I mean, adults having sex with children who are physically not equal in size is abusive to children as physical beings.

People putting solar panels on their homes are not welfare babies. If they are then so are the elite, so are all of us. This is in effect believing the usurious system is what is real when the physical is what is real, and the physical world should function without any harm to anything physical on the ground at every point. 

If we pump chemicals into the ground we will pollute the ground water, saying there is no scientific proof in a system that hides data and ignores/disallows physical on the ground studies or labels them as " anecdotal" and at the same time inhibits the economic means to sustain ourselves physically and face those who have endless financial means, then the picture show on the media controls will just become an endless spin of justification, with no counteraction available, which means  that the collective of men must stand together to end this because the humans on the ground working together is the power, has more movement capacity that any picture on a screen.

Investigate this.

I have to tell myself this same thing within, that the emotional feelings values as the projection of idea has no real strength, and walking the separations, not accepting them as in hiding from them,  or fearing them, or reacting to them in anger is going to equalize them to what is real, to what is substantive. The dirt is the mind consciousness system, the dirt is the valley of the shadow of good and evil as death, the dirt is judgement, the dirt is the mind, and life is the soil, the earth and the substance which builds this as the sound of life, the movement of absolute purpose as a focus that does no harm that gives as one would like to receive, as that which respects all life, the physical world. 

We don't need modern art galleries, we all have one in our heads, just stop and breath and have a look.

It is the compound of your self, built of ideas that are judgements as belief, being used to direct and as such are yourself out of focus, a dis- traction from physical reality, the gift of life, here.

Day 473 Rapping Crime, beating ourselves down. STOP

So, I read about how the music industry, specifically the rap industry, was told that in order to survive they had to rap words - which admits that words create our world  as how we use them as the constructions of them impulse values - that induced crime, meaning words that composed stories of driving into reactions  that were of crime so that the populace would commit crimes and  the prisons would be filled. And, that this was what was paying the investments of the music industry, these privately owned prisons, these American prisons that have more prisoners than there are secondary teachers in America. Interesting when there are so few companies, which means a company behemoth can manipulate sections of itself to create conflict in self interest, criminal. 

America now has more prisoners that any other country. So, who lives in the land of the free? Or who lives in the land of the most fear, purposely induced in the financial self interest of a few who believe they are job creators? Which is in itself a disconnect, because all values that exist are because of the efforts of all men, even developed mental capacity is because of the many. Everything is interconnected, synergistic - meaning the sum of the parts are equal to the whole. Is the “ whole,” as America, something existing in a constitution, as a state of being, that is creating a common good? Is America in a constitution that  is a state of being that is and does what ensures that the structure and form of  living, as a system, does no harm, gives as it would like to receive?  Meaning, that unless what we are doing is working for everyone, what we are doing is not working?

The win-win in this is that the physical is the gift to realize the value being life and as such, to ensure that what is best for all is the structure built by men and that what is best for all can only be achieved when all men are living in their full potential, interacting with this physical world in full capacity as their form and function, equal in understanding of their self directive capacity as physical beings on a physical earth. Prisons for profit are a direct indication of a systemic failure. All men, as humans, must have direct interaction with this physical world, from day one. All men must be taught a living respect for the physical: the animals, the plants , the waters, the air, the soils.

 This requires exposure and opportunity, this requires education, a process that cannot end until it is done, until an understanding of what it means to respect life and value it, is reached. Understanding of life, as the physical cannot be withheld. All the physical forms on earth are the same substance as ourselves. For us to allow a few to have a platform that allows coercion as to what should be the words sung/rapped and then impulsed via media to create a profit is a crime that is being committed by the collective, thus we cannot blame the few we have allowed to govern us. It is us, as the collective that must change the form, change the structure of our system of governance to one that supports life instead of forcing it into prisons, because each prisoner is us, and we are them. 

This is an interconnected system as the directive to rap actions of crime reveals, and the outcome is not a win-win, is not a synergy of life. Thus, the collective must stand up and through the present system. This means all nurses, all soldiers, all teaches, all petty administrators must stand and vote, for a system that supports all life unconditionally, realizing that we have each accepted and allowed a lack of depth perception into the whole, and that this lack creates an uncertainty that becomes behaviors of blame and spite in a bubble, and that it is this lack that was taught by generations of same action, and thus one could say we are all to blame and we are not to blame, but in the end what came first, the chicken or the egg? From within ourselves, if we blamed one time, lied one time in our lives we are no better than any criminal, because we were part of the sum that lied and blamed and as such were not responsible here. 

Lying is to take a short cut in self interest, to not have taken the time to investigate what is best for all. So, the outcome is a system that has not taken the time to investigate what is best for all, and the disconnect was a separation from realizing that our forms may be different but the substance of the form is of same substance, and that this very substance is life and as such has the capacity to be directive as life, which would be and do what is best for all as this is the nature of life. 

Thus, the solutions to a system where there are more prisoners than teachers, is to stand as a structure that supports all life, that realizes what is best for all and that  this within what has been structurally created is to give money to each and every person, as it is the sum of the parts as the people who have created the values that are placed onto money, it is not that money is good or bad, it is how we have justified  its use through petty actions within a lack of spatial awareness ( I mean look at television, is it not a little tiny box of lights ? how can one possibly understand the physical world through the lens of a tiny lighted box? You can’t.).  We have allowed ourselves to acclimate to a tiny narrow viewpoint, so much so that we are allowing a few to decide what the words used by rappers must be and direct. If we allow this, it will continue. 

So, the solution, is to stand for what gives what we have accepted and allowed to determine life, and that is money. Give money directly to every person, to allow each person to wake up from the limiting directives of a few who are themselves so limited they actually believe they are job creators. lol. They are so busy being thugs that they are not living life either, so it is to forgive them and simply change the system. Life is fluid, and somehow we as a collective have taken this gift and created an abrasive system that is slowly but surely no longer supporting us, and it is time to stop. 

The resources are freely given for us to self realize ourselves as life, here. They are here for a constitution as a state of being that is synergistic with and as life, thus they are not for someone to claim as their own, as this in itself is a disconnect from life. because the resources that are here are the ownership of life, the ship of life that is earth, and as such belong to all life and must therefor be composed in such a way that all is respected and supportive of all life, as it is life that is the value, and it is the labor of the many that creates the value from the resources, even if that value creation is robots. 

Realize that  it is not only the object but the movement as the subsequent actions of generations of men that have created what is here which cannot as such be owned by one man, or one family, as the only family is all life on earth. Step out of your bubble of limited seeing and realize our characters and personifications are not equal to life and that this is visible, our inequality, as actions of blame and spite, jealousy and greed. These are actions of fear and the solution is to become equal in understanding of physical reality, which means changing the system to one that allows equal understanding as all parts, as all men, which can happen through giving the means to life in dignity as giving a Living Income Guarantee to all.

On another front, it is for the rappers of the world to start singing about equality, because it is not until all parts of life are equal to life, as life, in full potential, in full capacity, that life will begin. If we really want to learn how to sing, then this instrument of life, as the physical, must be in full function, stable, self directive, self sustaining. We can begin by creating economic equality. Support  Living Income Guarantee.

Living Income Guarantee Time to balance out the physical world, which means an equitable system is the only solution as it is an act of respect and understanding of ourselves as physical life.

Day 472 The Problem with Controls

The problem with controls.

We have a system that places control into every aspect of our beings: education, health, information. Why the need to control what informs us? Why not a directive that allows us to self discover the very forms of this physical world around us as us, using the capacity of the human to learn to read physical form and thus self inform. It is known that self discovery is the strongest learning device. If this is true, then our school systems, the very design and structure of them as an environment do not allow self discovery on the ground with the very world in which children will grow up into to interact with.

Sitting in a classroom discussing something, talking about something only, confines a child to limited aspects about something, the ones brought forward as having more importance than another aspect. This is the perfect control mechanism to limit the insight capability of the child. 

Why would such controls even be necessary? And why would they become more and more limiting over time within such a system? 

States/People have allowed a system that moves money towards the federal government, forcing the local schools to seek aid from the federal government. Money carries the value created by the community of men using freely given resources of the earth to dignify our lives, from the collective effort of each of us, thus how money moves and serves is the responsibility of all men. That routing of money via the federal government comes with conditions, and these conditions are naturally going to be what informs the interests of the men in positions on a federal level.  Many of the men in Congress, in the federal government are men that in word say they stand for all men, but in deed, it is another story, their deeds are in self interest, in maintaining money flow into their own pockets, regardless of the effects on humanity. Simply put, if this were not so, then there would exist no poverty. It is that simple, and no associative word play, or paper discourse platforms that only allow one perspective, can change this fact.

But then, this brings us back to the words directing the information of a child in a classroom bound by federal funds controlled by a few who we have allowed such control, acting in what ensures their monetary interests, all the while touting this interest as needed controls. This is a story in reverse, the controls are what maintain the self interest, because a human is perfectly, in fact, a beautifully designed machine to read the physical world and understand the form and function of the physical world. Thus, the present form of education, in total is a system of control, not a system to developing each human to become equal in understanding to the ability of the physical as self to interact with this physical world in ways that would provide a decent life for all, a life where harm does not exist.

A child can be placed on a playground in a country other than the country of birth and learn the new language in a manner of weeks, so able is the very form of the human to take in the environment when allowed the exposure and opportunity. How much opportunity does a child have sitting in a class room ( and there is a reason why it is called a “ classroom’)  listening to the conditions of a federal government of self interested in capital gain men, who actually believe that they are “ job creators” ( are they actually doing their self labeled “ job” at the moment….. no) - how much are these children really going to learn about this world? Our children are going to learn the self serving program of a delusional thinking that is a set of controls that serve an idea that one man is more than another. Which really shows that for this belief system to exist in the manner that it is informed from the womb onwards through the constructions we allow as words, shows how hard the system has to work to maintain itself against the real nature of men, which is the nature of give as you would like to receive, which is to do no harm, which is to respect all life, because self is life. I mean, the idea that our representatives are job creators means that they are as indoctrinated as we are, they just happen to have the role of leader, and our programs are the role of follower, but as we can see, if we look around at the state of earth, this program is not working.

My great grandfather decided that he wanted to be an opera singer. So, he decided to go to Europe and become a singer. He dragged my great aunt with him. Her name was Tita. She went from one European country to another as a small child, and learned all the languages while her father sang. As an adult, she worked for an import/export company because she could speak German, French, Spanish, Italian and English. That is the capacity of a human being when given the chance. Remove this chance, and place a child in an economically stressed environment with over processed foods, and an education that is in word only, with some added pictures and what do we get? We get children that become adults that have no real conception of physical reality.

We becomes adults who cannot solve problems because we are not taught to think, we are taught very limited and narrow dictates, and if we step out of these dictates we are considered weird, when the opposite of true. We wonder why our children are obsessed with sex, or rather, why our men are obsessed with sex, because we allow this to be what is sounded all over this world. We wonder why our health is so bad, why more children are dying of cancer in the last twenty years than accidents, which was the previous norm, it is because we have allowed an idea that our professionals know what they are doing, when our so-called administrators have accepted and allowed boundaries of limitation to serve the interests of a program that believes itself to be a job-creator. If we continue to allow this, it is what will continue.

It is time to change the program. To forgive everything, the debt, everything and to take that which is good, because it is not all bad, and to stand for a system that will allow that which is good to be the system, which is a system that allows the full potential of each human to reign on earth. It is, in the end, the sum of the parts that create the extraordinary, so each part is only as good as the whole, which is why the absolute purpose and focus of each of us must be to give as we would like to receive, as this will allow the life that is the real self to step forth. Do get this going, the money in the world must flow to everyone. And then the change will come in short order, because each of us, when given the chance will choose what allows us to live in dignity. And yes, because of what has been accepted, not all will immediately change, but most will.

There is enough, if this system has planned obsolescence, then obviously, there is enough resource left. Instead of creating waste, what we have can be used to create things that last, what we need to live in dignity. 

Support a Living Income Guarantee. Time to change the system, if it only works for a few, than it is not working. Give each self/cell the money it needs as the means to live, and each cell will come to life, and the organism of earth will begin to function as life. This is the gift, we need only stand and create it, as it is each of us that are the creators.