I notice that I access data within and as me as belief, opinion and idea, as a protection and defense mechanism to try and remain standing here, within my survival environment, and within this I become very anxious. Like I use listing as knowledge and information to counteract, to control, to avoid, to destroy what I perceive as allowing this, to be what exists here.
Like I am in full combat, and my knowledge and information is my gear, a game of elimination, which is blame and spite. If I do not have enough knowledge and information I will lose.
Many times I have read something with the intent to remember it to use it to validate myself, and prove some point that if I had looked, I might have noticed the lack of substance that it had in totality, because such beliefs, opinions and ideas, were answering to a limited culture and not what existed here in totality.
Within this, the fear became bigger than realizing here, than my own common sense, hence the anxiety, because common sense has more substance than any belief system that demands a game of associations and relationship building that serves ideologies of right and wrong, more than and less than, ideas about how something should be, this in separation from an inclusion of the physical world that is right here, that is what sustains us, thus what is needed to be considered in all action, in all movement.
Someone once told me that to master something it must be done with gentleness, meaning that sensing something requires being relaxed in order to sense the thing, embrace without harm, the action the movement. I notice that my anxiety is of a state of racing, of believing there is something I want, or need, in order to find order, when the opposite is what is needed, a slowing down, an acceptance in order to see here. Breathing can aid in this, especially when the anxiety comes, because within this I am believing that if I do not have enough knowledge and information, I will fall. Living is not a race. Living is being here understanding how the physical world functions, how it works.
The mind accumulates what is placed before it leading to a conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind, that becomes a map of one’s perceptions, thus what goes in is what comes out, and if the within is not equal to the without, a conflict accumulates within and builds conflict without until what does not work is discarded, by then, one is older and life has gone by. This mind is like a spiraling mechanism of counter point, it uses polarities of good and bad, right and wrong, this causing chaos, slowing down direct seeing. Our choice is to eat this mechanical superficial apple of good and evil or we can breath, and forgive ourselves back to what we all long for, which is our common sense, an embrace of life without conditions as beliefs. Associations of knowledge and information, like our varying layered committees of “ professionals” create an answerless society, and it is all of us that are this web, thus it is all of us that are the cause of starvation and abuse to life. The conflict, a game of hiding and blame and spite is rejecting embracing what does no harm. This need not exist and is, by nature, destructive. And it is all held in place because of how money has been allowed to determine life.
From the beginning, understanding of physical reality leads to life, not the cognitive dissonance and misnomers of one thing being more than another, not the borders of division as the developed suits of men used to define through comparison only, the whole shebang that which only looks at differences and not similarities, and then blaming the differences for the problems, when being different is not the problem, it is not realizing the starting point of sameness, and from here enjoying the differences.
I noticed a web site where jewelry was a image of a chemical construct, like how chemists show diagrams of certain chemicals. One can wear this way of mapping a chemical construct around ones neck as a symbol. And then, during this time, I was soaking my feet in something to get a mineral into my body, and I did this because I have rubbed garlic on my feet to see if, as I had read, I could then taste the garlic in my mouth, and it worked. So, somehow, in the way that I move, I realized that gee, if our feet can take in/sense garlic and absorb minerals then our feet must be these amazing sensing mechanisms, and we are not even using them! I mean, what if we learned to name the things our feet sensed through our other faculties, such as the taste of something in our mouths? What if we learned to understand the composition of something on the ground with our feet? It is possible, even though no one can do this at present.
So, here I am this mind system of knowledge and information and I am spouting this and existing within a very very limited culture that is a very very limited hierarchy of control , which would be the choice of control on top of what is real as the physical, and would also within this, over time become more and more and more limited, impulsing more and more limited perceptions to blind and suppress what is innate within the human physical body, just because of a starting point of a few that their differences were somehow more than another’s and within this deciding as a belief that they/we had to control this?. This is just simply a cycle of insanity. There really are no other words for it. I mean we build machines that are of parts that function, without one part the whole simply does not work. Earth is a “ machine” and this is the value, a computer would not work if every part was at war, it would destroy itself. Which is what humans on earth are in essence doing. My associative game in my mind, as my mind, is my separation. I am ignoring my gift, my physical gifts of life, my apps, the application of myself as my physical body, with life, to be life.
Thus, and what a thought, our feet are like the greatest apps ever created and we are not using them. Instead we have externalized our capacity into technology. But, we have already done this with a belief in a god - a previous generation of referring to something other than our innate physical capacity of common sense. What all of us need to do, is accept ourselves as life, and begin to equalize, or walk ourselves back into what we are as physical beings that are the greatest “ app” available , in tandem with this “ phone” of earth, this “ fun” as the physical, to be and become our bearth-rite of passage to life.
Thus, when and as this anxiety comes up within and as me, with knowledge and information whirling around, I stop and I breath, and I look to the beliefs as the knowledge and information, and the ideas of need and want and I forgive such ideas, and bring myself here, until I am at ease, until I am humble, until I am willing the giving up of all opinion and idea as the values of my culture ( as not being the only solution because there is good within this ) , the beliefs as my past that I use to define me, the sequences of events that as my past that I use to substantiate me, and I stop and I breath, and I do not allow myself to become inferior or superior, as this is myself in protection and defense in the order of a hierarchy that is unequal to physical reality, and within this state of accepted and allowed inequality to the physical world, I become an energetic movement of anxiety as I am within judgement of relating through associations that are consequences lived out for generations from a starting point of separation from physical reality.
So, within this,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear living.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from my human physical body, into a mind system that is a collection of ideas, opinions and beliefs that are a limited construct of what is real the physical reality, and as such an image and likeness that is not sustainable, and as such needs constant validation to keep the fires of itself burning, as this division via judgement of differences, is creating good and bad, instead of being equal to what does no harm and supports all life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that children are not born with personalities, and as such have no programs of culture, thus what it is that child becomes is impulsed into them, where an ability to have divergent thinking is lost as the programs accumulate and become the directives, creating a human being who is limited in what has gone within, and this within not being equal to common sense, causes the child to slow down and follow limitations instead of developing an awareness of physical reality in form and function.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I need my mind of ideas, beliefs and opinions, to direct me here, not seeing realizing and understanding and equalizing myself to the common sense that absorbed the knowledge and information of a culture of hierarchy that is in totality a separation from life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that facing the storm of separation as thoughts, opinions and ideas is a taboo, culturally.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the reactions of a entity voicing limitations as ideas, beliefs and opinions be it myself within or another without, and within this to not see, realize and understand that the storm of separation as limitation as what has been impulsed by a system of inequality, as hierarchy is and does, is disrupting a habit that is in total unacceptable, and must be faced for which I as life have as common sense here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear using common sense, to believe that common sense is somehow dirty, when from the mind’s perspective, common sense is destructive, but of the separation and limitation only, thus common sense is like a mechanism, a medicine for life, for this earth, for each cell, for each self, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being in common sense, to fear being humble, to fear being at ease, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear limitation, to believe that limitation can exist.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear separation, to believe that separation can exist.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that ease is like the warmth of the sun, nurturing and forgiving of what allows direct seeing, and thus self autonomy as life, here.