Day 620 Going into Positive Value.

Going into the positive value, 

I notice how going into a positive value is defining a moment without really looking  at many implications of what it means to get to the idea that is the positive value. I am so acclimated to being idealistic that being the practical steps to reach the ideal are not immediately moved into and walked, as it is as I have been taught as I have accepted and allowed, an ideal being more than practical application to and towards an ideal.

One instance of this happened yesterday. I was talking about something and the person across from me, suggested a venue for me to go and talk . This pretty much ended the conversation. A positive value was expressed and that was the end.

I relate this to heroin and sugar. Heroin is drug that creates  a high feeling that quickly and surreptitiously  through denial of anything else kills the seeker of that high feeling. Sugar and alcohol are the same. This drug does this over a more extended period of time, drip by drip. All that time spent in seeking the high takes from being focused here, in reality. Walking the connection to being in full awareness of this reality and within this, this ‘ feeling’ ability that follows the quick feeling sensations that appear to be positive and appear to enable anyone to talk to another, is an illusion because the focus is on a limited sensation. Thus, both drugs separate one from being focused here, equal with reality, and because we are physical reality before we are the desire to be high and seek a positive feeling, the physical reality is the real form that would fulfill the total beingness of ourselves.

A love of knowledge and information can also be a high, if I allow this to become a self definition, and seek validation from others about my mental construct of knowledge and information.  But then this can fall flat because it has little volume in the real practice of living. Look, we have systems that we support that come up with theories all day, abstractly, and so little are applied. In many ways this, within a profit based system must exist to check application  but it also causes things to be allowed to manifest that cut corners and cause problems in the environment. None of this is actually being focused here and working with physical reality with such attention and respect for how being physical works.We have the capacity to direct this awareness that is sensual to begin to realize what each seeks is a groundedness with reality, with the physical world.  In so many ways, one could say this is the ultimate high, being in focused awareness here, really sensing what is the means of self, as the physical, where all of self is employed in creation. Thus, a positive statement as a collectively understood way of conversation in idea only, can become a shield of self validation that ends in that beingness as a limited state of being because the grounding walk of the self  does not walk all the way to becoming in practice that ideal, fine tuning the focus of self. Our society has become this, and touts this positive thinking as a value, when such positive thinking if not employed in action all the way,  becomes something that has no real meaning.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a positive statement in a conversation just to have acceptance and self validation within a group of people, or with another person.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to manipulate who and what I am through using positive statements to build a mirror of myself as a personification of being a positive and good person.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use a positive value to maintain a social standing as building an idea into an idol to follow without seeing realizing and understanding that this alone is not real living and that real living means grounding myself here with and as understanding physical reality and becoming in practice that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to conversely react when facing the end game of positive thinking, as statements that are supportive but as the end in themselves are used to deny looking at what real practical application means and requires as steps taken in a physical manifestation of life as life would be.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand how much I have accepted and allowed positive statements to define me, instead of moving into practical application as clear and necessary steps to apply what grounds oneself to focus here equal and one to this physical world, which is to say to be and become the application of life, of living, of respecting reality as the means of my existence here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand the habits I have accepted and allowed, and that to change these habits of acceptance as an end game in a moment only, is an addition to thinking and creating ideals to define me and to gain acceptance and as such have no real value in terms of practical living as respect for actual physical existence here.

When and as I find myself stuck in a moment of self validation in and as a positive statement, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, equal and one with the physical, and I follow through, I let go of a belief, and I move onto the next practical step within and as what grounds me here, in always considering all things and investigating that which is good and does no harm, to equalize myself to and with life as this physical means of my existence as this is life information.

When and as I find myself ending in a positive thought, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I check within and as me, what and how I am hiding - so to speak- within a positive statement only to not face the detail of practical application, and I also, within this, stop and forgive any thoughts that believe a practical application is too much, to ground myself here, and realize the moment as where I am and the step necessary to being a living word as that which investigates and takes that which is good and does no harm, as an idea definition of myself has no real value and as an idea in and as my mind, will not have any constancy within the behavior of me, as such a self definition has no flexibility within and as the practice of actual practical living which is investigating all things and moving in the moment within and as that which is good and does no harm, and that as what builds practical awareness of physical reality as physical reality is the way and the means of life here.

Day 101 The character of the dreamer.

Day 101 The character of the dreamer.

I went  and looked at real estate in another place, and have wanted to continue to do this. And then I find myself thinking about what it would be like to live there.

I find myself wanting a partner to life “there” - where ever “there” is! lol

I find myself being afraid of being alone in a “new place.” 

I find myself doing this more as I pull my present situation into order to leave.

And I also notice I feel like I have less time.

Dreaming takes up time. eats it. The projector/mind is consuming through imagery, collecting all my pasts and creating a new story, fears included.

I have to breath and tell myself that I am here. Other than this, all there is is practical considerations.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to dream about the future.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to wonder what it would be like to live in “this or that” area, where what is only necessary of to look at practical considerations, such as real estate taxes,  access,  structural integrity of what exits, what needs repair and what it would mean to repair, etc.. The actual physical considerations of being in another place.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to turn a new place into a fairy tale, where I imagine all the characters as the picture of how I as a woman should appear in and as what is considered to be success, as a job, a “manly man,” children with their “significant” ( meaning support as mind) other, perhaps some grand children somewhere along the way etc.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that, though there is no “wrong” within any of these scenarios, the need to imagine them, to wish for them, to want them, to hope for them, as what I am being indicates that there is something missing within this world, as these images are of what life is here on this earth, where people interact with one another, in many fashions, with animals, with the soils, with the plants should be what exists without fear and apprehension of these things not existing, and thus as myself here, I would be the being of this as myself as life as a physical being in the form of a human here on this earth, and thus I would not need the drug of a dream, I would be here being this, thus is the act of myself dreaming, my own fear of loss of life that is the illusion and the separation and what is used to control myself a source of life on earth by a few.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this very ability of myself to dream, is myself in fear of loss, and within this is indicative that the very structure  this world develops as this dreaming, allows a few to possess in reality this image and then has others running after this image, where the image is of a life in interaction, yet the reality is a system that eats up the resources of this earth and directs them within profits for the few, where if what is here is used in common sense and within best practices, as best practices being what is best for all, then scenarios where all of earth interacts with all of earth would be what exists and thus would we all , here, life, a REAL physical reality and not images in and as our minds.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this present system of inequality has used the ability of the human to dream, to grab and own this earth in contradiction to what the earth is as life - unconditionally/freely giving- to serve their own excessive dream scenarios, where the images in and as the mind are of a partial reality and thus can never be as fulfilling as the actual, in fact physical living reality, yet if one does not know the difference, and the dreams have taken all attention, then the very idea of a real physical reality living with this physical world would be so separated from self’s experience, it would be very difficult to understand what this means.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop  all thoughts of wonder of what it would be like to live in another place, unless I am practically sitting down and making a list of actual practical existential considerations, as this is not dreaming but simply organizing what needs to be done to complete a task.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to realize within this, how many people on this earth are having their homes and families ripped apart so that monoculture agribusiness can take the land to grow vegetable oils to burn to replace the dwindling oil reserves, without any consideration for the plants, the animals and the soils ( where there are many more life forms) in an effort to own what is this earth that has no signature of ownership as it is life, where even within my local area, although there are funds for alternative energy options, the local electrical system is not putting any effort into developing this as there is not time for the electrical workers to implement such changes, as these changes cost money not only the money from government subsidies, but also the man hours spent implementing alternatives, thus nothing gets done on a large scale within alternative energy development, as most of what exists within money is spent on war, to grab a resource that is own-able ( meaning self interest for the few lost in a dream) and not something that is more difficult to own, which is the sunshine and the wind- thus within a profit based system, if it cannot be owned than it is of no interest, as the intangible cannot be labeled and stamped with a name.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that this same kind of thing would happen with music students, where they would begin to play with ease, as though they found the understanding with the instrument, and then suddenly stop, as the girls would begin to carry “purses” and the boys would go into sports, and the dressing of themselves within this would - as the dream- take over- and the violin would no longer be “cool” as that which is intangible within and as themselves was not real, what became real was the image, was how they looked and not what was them in expression as life, and thus a one dimensional, singular idea of how they should look - which can be manipulated and owned as the image sale of this and the accessories that create the image of this- can be owned, where the self, picking up a violin and directing self within the means of playing as self, cannot be owned and develops the ability of self to self direct, and thus this is not the suppression of life to become a follower of a picture.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself, as a human, to see, realize and understand , that there is plenty on this earth to support life, all life in dignity, and that the fact that a human dreams of a place to live, and how that place should look, is in itself an indication of something not being right about this world, as this is not actual physical living and development but only a dream.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that no matter where I might or might not want to live, what is here as this earth should be used with respect for the earth and all life, where no matter where I live there is not a question existent as to there being something to fear but only the existence of an interaction here as life in which to expand myself as life, to becoming one and equal to what this physical world consists of, as this world is of a technology beyond the human’s present understanding, and thus we are wishing and wanting some supposed “greater” outer space race to come with some sort of “amazing technological advancement, when this flies in the face of all reason, as we have this earth, this physical “space ship” that is right here, that is life, supporting us unconditionally and we do not even develop each and every human to understand this “SHIP” of life, where all we have done is turned this SHIP of life into a fucking doll house. I mean WTF.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the TITANIC- the story of the TItanic is the story of this earth as what will become of this earth if we do not wake up and take care of the ship that carried the ship of the greed of profits wanting to become more and more and more, hitting the iceburg of this physical world in ignorance of this physical world, and thus will this ship of fools as greed and profit before life go down, drowning in their own greed and substance abuse, where even when the dream is lived the substances of escape, such as alcohol are still needed to maintain the illusion and the intangible as the substance of life, is suppressed and in dis-use causing disease and sinking ships.

I commit myself to dismantling the dream and walking one and equal on this ship of life, the earth using the feet of my human physical body as myself as life, to live as a part of this earth in tandem with earth, one and equal, being here within and as my physical real feet and toes.

Disembark from this ship of fools and stand up as life, support an Equal Money System.

The Soul of Money

What is your MIND?