Showing posts with label projection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label projection. Show all posts

Monday, May 1, 2017

Working with my own emotional firewalls Day 753

I had an interaction with a family member where I noticed that I rushed in something I said. If I look, I realize an pattern that I have lived come forward. It is a color of rushing, and of trying to get on top of something said, to both push it away and fix it. What also happened is that what was being explained by my family member, the overall story did not come out in one moment, it came out in a series of moments. This is noted because in hearing the whole situation, the movements being described became more clear. I realized that in the environment where things separate from this story, were being done, so the interaction moved from one focus to another, as the sort was told during the completion of other tasks. 

One of the states of belief I move into, is to rush, like to talk in such a way to fix a problem as though I know, before I hear the whole story. Like there is a sense that i am supposed to fix something. If I do not I am not a good person. I am inadequate. Within this I can see where this idea can become a distraction, and I miss elements of things only to be embarrassed later that I did not slow down and listen to the whole story of information that is describing itself to itself, because this is what we do in so many ways, to substantiate a person who is basically resolving something. Here, I want to say, it is almost as though humans do resolve their issues themselves, walk through them, what is needed more often than not, is listening, being patient. After all, one of the ways we have become a consciousness of separation is because we did not take the time to look, to slow down, to self realize, to walk our past actions, to deconstruct and reconstruct to realize how we are caught in a situation that is out of synch with an easy flow and understanding that is non-disruptive of what is more natural as a state of being present. 

In realizing the patterns of separation, in the game of blame and spite, projections of values onto others for a perceived fault, which is a perceived imbalance, there are sequences, of reactions and actions, patterns, and these can be realized and within such, one can become more patient, and listen, even within myself, and play with seeing the forms. Somehow, I rush within this, and it leaves a sense of unfinished business, where I then blame myself, become ashamed, want to go back and fix something, go into self pity, a sense of impossibility, when right there, was a flow of description that could see itself and resolve an issue. In a way, one only need retell the story, and lend a mirror image of actions that pull the whole together to allow a reciprocity for the teller to see more the parts and the whole, to have insight into what they are revealing to themselves, because in a way, we all know what we are doing. 


In a way, the solution is to bring forward the pattern for self recognition, that pattern given, through listening, and to use the imagination to show the form, to lend self discovery. This is being agreeable, and working through a mis-understanding, to allow insight with self as another as I would want this for myself. And, to be consistent with this process, to become more agile in recognizing it. After all, I am here, so why the rush? Becoming a rush to define, creates an information bias, or a focal distraction, as ideas, beliefs and opinions. It is lacking  a faith in the command of who and what i am as a human being, that can take in, or listen, to hear the whole form, to recognize patterns and align them with presence. Here presence means not being reactive, not wanting a gain, or, wanting what one would want for one’s self. BY this I mean, an understanding that in meeting with another with insight , one has a steady groundedness in understanding that can stand in time, and be more compassionate without coloring compassion as a value judgement as a gain. After all, humans are less anxious and more productive when they are focused.


On a greater scale, the time to listen to others, is so missing from our society. This is apparent in the form of our schools, that are more listening only to one person, as are the platforms of the media. We rarely have the time to get what we see, to reflect on what we are seeing in the very form of our busy lives. And yet, we are taught to listen, but not reflect on what we listen to.  We do not look at what we have taken in, and relate it to the practical that is so missing in our lives. And, ironically, what our younger people are losing the capacity to do as they become adults. I mean, I have read complaints that younger generations have no interpersonal and practical skills. How can they if they spend their childhood years only watching and listening, and without follow through into application? In some ways, as a society, how can we blame them when the adults have allowed a system that does not lend the time to listen, to be patient, to resolve, to place what is being heard, and as such, formed, into practical applications in this living reality? 

And, within this, punishment of this, is not correction. Thus, punishment is pointless, it is only more blame and spite. it is only more of the problem. It is like the dis-ease has to become so big, to much an ‘ elephant in the room’ before we acknowledge this. It is like the chemical fixes as drugs placed in the market, that have not had careful studies done, and that start having side effects that grow and grow, are buried, are denied until they can no longer be denied, and the drug is taken off the market. These actions of not taking real care, of not really listening to what we are doing, are not of benefit for us. How many times are we going to allow this before we realize there is only one choice? That choice is to slow down and listen, to realize the form, see and check the consequences, make sure there is no harm, and then move into action. Such care, real care, real consideration would lead to greater presence and more faith in who and what we are as mankind.  Otherwise, we all become personalities living in juggling the lack, and wonder why we did not really live our lives when we reach the end. This is why, there is not other choice, but the choice to do no harm, to take that which is good, as that which brings clarity of practical purpose, and to realize the patterns within of separation and the focus of and as what grounds us here, to be present in this life, in the art of real  living. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the valley of value judgements.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not slow down and hear the whole story, to allow that story to come forward, in all it details, which means in this present existence, of busyness that sometimes the whole story takes time to unfold.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is some form of competition, and that I must prove something about who and what I am, when I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want a quick fix, not seeing realizing and understanding that when and as I speak, before I speak, especially after having walked so many patterns that I can ask myself if I have enough information, and even to ask more questions to bring what is informing and occupying another, and myself to get into all the corners of the story, to check and make sure a clear understanding is formed, to them begin to deconstruct and reconstruct into what lends presence , as greater presence brings greater insight, to the extent the gift given which is natural and who and what we are as humans,  is aligning into clarity, into practical actions that can move with no uncertainty, and a real groundedness that brings ease.

I forgive myself for, as  a reaction to my own default, for allowing and accepting myself to move into self pity, self blame and self hate.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to then move into a belief that things are impossible, when I am here wit what is constant as the presence of life. of creation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not slow down, and to realize in every breath in every moment that I as who and what i am as life, can slow down, listen, be patient. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to focus on a belief that I am not enough, and that remembering being grounded here, is impossible, when I am possible as who and what I am in form and function as a living being, as a man, here. 

When and as I find myself moving into resistance, I stop, I breath, I slow down, and I see realize and understand resistance as a red flag, to realize whereIi am rushing, disrespecting who and what I am as life, as self blame, blame, comparison/competition,  self pity/ disempowerment,  giving up, self hate, and I stop, I breath, I ground myself here, to live the practice of presence and patience, to stand as what is real, as the practice of being present in who and what I am, to live the realization that there are no problems only solutions, and that who and what I am, is more natural.

When and as I find myself moving into a sense that things are impossible, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I become agile in living insight, leading to living solutions with consistency, to stand in living the joy of understanding and being in and with and as the presence of who and what I am, which is life, here.


When and as I find myself believing that something is impossible, I stop, I breath, I listen, I hear, I stand with presence in consideration of all things, breathing through anxiety, to hear what is in synch with life, as this physical world that is me, and that is all around me here.  


Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Day 627 The Fabric of My Persona

The Fabric of My Persona
I had an experience yesterday where I was alone with a human being playing a role in our society.  As I stood there talking with him, I could see some fears coming up in relation to my role towards his role. That uncertainty , like a fly buzzing around behind my head. I slowed down and went into the basics; I had been asked what I did.  The basics; myself in another life stood before me.
I notice often how we breath, our breath never really at ease. For me, this is an indication to slow way down, within and without. Slowing down the words and getting real simple. Often the words I speak, becoming metaphor, an indirect way. Given the limited time, it is to just stick to this, as it is not offensive or confronting. Yet, it can give a structure easy to hold, planting a seed.
In all of this, on reflection later, I realize as I looked at myself slowing down, how much effort within myself is used to maintain a persona. The rushing it involves. The act of slowing down, and moving into the basics, allows a respect of the persona, and a non-threatening calm. This that is used to separate, can be used to ground. Is this taking that which is good and does no harm?
Is this slowing down a ‘ novel’ experience, because of having spent so much effort and time using my awareness to build and  maintain a persona to survive?  That personification building and maintaining exhausting. This seemingly ‘ novel’ experience an ease that was always there and was more normal, so a double edged surprise? By this I mean, this is a discovery, so it is something new, and yet, it is what is normal. So, within the new, is the realization that the persona was one caught in a drama that had no reality, it was a storm in separation from what was natural, which was being equal to the practice of living in a physical reality.

Overall, this is not having had enough information about what we are here, in total. A loss of a sense of reality. In effect we are not grounded here, and it is being grounded here, that is that which brings ease. The dis-ease is being caught in the projection only. Thus, the compounded problems around us, are the effects of the effort to build a persona to survive without considering the practical application of living a physical life.  

Monday, August 4, 2014

Day 567 A sense of unworthiness cutting off communication



Recently a memory from my recent past is coming up. I was teaching in a school. I had a task to teach a group of fourth graders, to improve a skill over a three week period. I stood there in front of this group and realized they did not even have the most basic skills necessary to work with a new form. So, I spent half the daily class time just practicing the basics before what they needed to learn. It was an experiment on my part, and I realized there was no one watching over me, so I went with it.
About two months later, when I was onto something else, an assistant principle came to me and told me that my group’s improvement was far greater than what other seasoned teachers had done. 
So, I want to go back here for a moment. After I had taught this class, I became very insecure socially with the other teachers, I felt that somehow they were not as open with me, and I could not figure out why. I took this personally. At the time my husband had been dead for about a year and a half, and often I felt that I could not teach these children because my husband had killed himself, and I had a lot of feelings of un worthiness because of this. So, the slightest social distance from a teacher, a colleague could set me off, and of course, I did not go around telling anyone that my husband had died by suicide. 
I was too afraid to ask if there was some reason the teachers seemed less open with me, after I had taught this class, and I did not know of my achievement. Everything remained in a silence, with no communication. I am sure the principle knew of what I had done.
When I found out later of what I had done, I was busy with something else. I became upset that no one had talked with me, had asked me what I had done, that the principle even, did not come and say to me “ what did you do to achieve such results?” Overall this is really unacceptable. As a parent who has had children in public schools I find this behavior unacceptable. I should have been asked, by the principle and the other teachers.
Also, with myself, I, when I found out, should have gone and told the others what I had done, but the focus of my new responsibilities occupied my attention. It was not until later that I reflected over the matter and asked why. Also, had I not been so insecure with myself, perhaps I would have been more open. In these words alone, lies the answer to this whole situation. Insecurity.
This kind of insecurity is a lot like an addiction. It is an emotional experience that, as we can see in this situation, bears no witness to life, it is not an act of life before profit, as I was so busy fearing for my position before being practical and normal. It is an act on both sides where one wallows in emotions, habits really, based on a self belief, and a fear of losing something, overall, ambiguous, without any action in practical reality. And it is a crime against the children, because they are the ones who lose in the end. And, they become the adults that we are, and as these actions suggest, such behavior perpetuates this that is really a personality dis-order, one that lacks character, a sound character, and is not one that is a model for children and anyone else.
The other teachers, they were lost in their own fears, a fear that someone new had managed to do something they had not done, and so they hid in their fear instead of reaching out, which is what they probably ask children to do, but do not model or show themselves.
So, everyone was lost in their adductions to self pity and fear of losing a job, or fear of looking less than another. When, if someone had sat down with me and asked, I would have said what I had done.  If the other teachers had come and asked me about my past, I might have revealed myself. What I experienced was a lot of competition, socially and within individual ideas about class. I mean I was in a room where another teacher would come in and complain about his wife who was divorcing him as she was dating the father of  a student in the class. So, it was all one big gossip circle.  And then to make matter worse, the ditched wife was an aid in another school, in the class of my son. My son would come home and complain about her. I would remain silent and tell him to just try and stay out of her way. The social web in my community was one of spite and blame and bitterness, all being projected outwards. So busy was the community within this, that no one was really communicating with one another in ways that benefitted the community over all. And so busy are we all with this, that we are not paying attention to what is happening with our representatives and the structure of our federal and state governments, where there are leaders doing the same spiteful self interested acts. Who suffers but the children and the plants and the animals and the soils. These things which sustain us, which allow us life. And people can be insightful and solve problems, but when they do, we are so busy in our own self interest, our emotional addictions of pity, that we do not see them. And it is here that I must realize I am no different.
The walls of separation that are creating the spite and the blame are a lack of expressing our fears, of sharing what we are feeling and how scared we are. We can say that human nature is greed, but this is based on fear, and the only way out of fear is to share why we are afraid and then to figure out how to remove the insecurity. Humans have to share their insights and their fears, in this is the answer. This is really the only way out. How many of us have actually solved something only to ignore it as the emotional personality dis-order chooses to hide a sense of fearing to be considered unworthy more than communicate the solution that is always right in front of us and that we see in moments when we step out of our fears and actually DO something?
I could have gone back and shared what I had done. The other teachers and the principle can go to another as ask what they had done instead of hiding in insecurity, as such personal acts of fear obviously does not move things forward. In this we are all like Israel bombing that which we beLIEve is different from us, which is a personality dis-order, a projected limited belief lacking in practical common sense.
If we as men do not communicate with one another, we allow our fears to define us, and all fear is, is not walking the steps necessary to remove the what we did not know by asking another what they know. I mean, this is how we learn, by sharing structural understanding. This is how we learn to walk, one of imitation, but we have to have access directly, or, as in my situation where I was in a classroom alone where no one could directly see what I had done, is to come and ask to have what structural steps I walked to achieve what I had done. If we remain in fear, we remain inferior to the structures around us that reveal form and function, ways and means of expanding, This is simply an act of investigation. Investigation is to go and look and discover a structural means to an end. When we hesitate to seek such answer we are caught in an emotional veil of belief which is a personality dis-order, a lack that is built of a dissonance of “ what if,”
choosing a fear of loss over understanding structure. If men were not capable, then we would not have economic structures that suppress opportunity. It would not be necessary, because here there would be no fear of another becoming aware. It is that we are capable of becoming aware that a system of economic lack has manifested, which means we are all hiding in fear,  doing what is being done unto us. To break this chain of suppressing life, we have to accept life and allow what is natural, what is the real nature of ourselves, to come forth and as this to create a system that structurally supports us as physical beings who are capable of understanding and working together to the point where we realize we create and we work together and as this we become secure.

Life exists as a structural form. It can be seen and it can be understood because this is how things manifest. But, if we are caught in an idea that we cannot understand, and a system that manifests as this as usury, a system that will actualize its lack of common sense as a pyramid scheme of which the truth of at present is hidden in impoverished people who no longer have any voice and in destructive wars that eliminate the excess of debt that is the inevitable waste of usury,  if we do not look because of a sense of being unworthy and fearing to lose our jobs, we must realize we are the cause of the present system as we are the cause of our own lack of self trust and self honesty.  If we are afraid we are not equal to something and hide in spite and blame which is to remain in uncertainty and not follow through with the means of solution which is to investigate  structural common sense.

A personality dis-order is a para-normal activity because it is a projection as a value judgement onto what is a structured, visible reality, so it is the personality dis-order that would believe reality cannot be understood because as I had done, I believed I had done something wrong and veiled myself from solution, from common sense, this that I had used in one moment to solve a problem and then rejected in another.  We really have to start admitting our fears, and opening them up, and realizing that at present our greatest fears are around money, and that the present money system is a scam, one that must end. Then, we can all slow down and take a look at how we allowed such a system to manifest without.

Each has to remove their emotional veils, their personality dis-orders, their fear of what another will think, because thinking in itself, is not being equal in understanding in ways that simply communicate directly without hesitation, as one has a self trust in the structure that is what is life inFORMation as this is how life exists.


Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Day 543 The limited measure of projecting values.


Today I feel tired. I realize I have to go and do something and I fear the outcome not being directive, not being clear in leading to understanding of how we are formed within, that is causing so much anxiety and malfunctioning within out society. How can I allow another to discover the separation that exists that is so evident in the very practices we are all accepting and allowing that is creating the lack of communication and practical problem solving skills in each of us? I mean we need only look at the systemic structural design to realize that any lack is simply a disconnect from being in common sense. In other words, common sense is the biologic of each of us as the formation of the substance of what we are, it has to exist, or the very formation of physical life would be non-existent. It is what we are, so it is what we as humans are able to be and do. It is right here in front of us and we cannot see it, we are too busy projecting ideas that are based on limited values, missing the common sense of how this world works in interconnected ways, and how we are the perfect biological machines to be in common sense with that which is us.
So, this tiredness within me is a feeling that this is impossible. And I can feel this energy coming up that is a distraction from common sense. I have to stand, stable here, breathing, slowing down, bring this back to myself and realizing what is best for all.
There are videos on the internet of babies singing, crying, and dancing. What these very small children are doing is imitating everything they see. If a mother sings an emotional song, the baby imitates every movement, down to the tears flowing. Thus, the baby, who in reality has had no sorrow, ( I mean having a mother who can post on the internet, means the existence is pretty stable and thus basic baby needs met) is modeling the facial physical expression of sorrow simply through imitation.
Now, when we learn to play an instrument, for example, we have to remediate until the movement is understood. This is the same when we learn to drive a car. once the physical behaviors/movements are learned, the movement does not take up so much of our attention, and we can add more awareness. The behavior, the movement, the being and having of movement and directive capacity within this is learned and becomes automatic.
So, we know what is repeated as a behavior becomes automatic.
So, what happens when an emotional value is impulsed? The same. So, if emotional values are imitated, and we learn to form all our muscles in ways that imitate the emotional value, do we then  become this in response to our world? I mean this is a learned expression of our physical imitative expression. So, in essence, we can exhibit sorrow when we have never lived sorrow.
So, how directive do we really become, when we learn such? Is this not like learning play acting, without having any context of reality, that very physical form that enables this imitation - so to speak?
Is this what we are being taught, to begin with, the emotions of our parents?
It is that we are using a biological sensing machine to imitate within a behavioral bubble, one of self defining values that are in themselves in separation from realizing that what we are has an incredible ability to sense the world around us. So, one could say that our common sense as biological beings, is being used to imitate emotions instead of realizing that we are that sensing machine.  We believe that showing emotion is maturity, but in essence it reveals the measure of our separation from practical reality, physical reality, which is what is doing the imitating.
What if this biological ability to imitate were used to sense all of the physical world, to realize the workings of being physical beings on a physical planet?
What if, in tandem with this, we realized that the present system was one where banks, printed money out of thin air, lent it, with interest, knowing full well that the interest was impossible to repay, because what was lent was a certain amount overall, so what would return was only what was lent, so the interest could never, ever be repaid in total, and that with each printed-out-of-thin-air bill, the other bills lost value in a inverted division of placing the overall value within a narrow limited confined amount overall. I mean to say, with each printing, the total is divided into smaller measure, it is an illusion of more, that is not more. And the ones at the bottom bear the loss of value in pensions etc.
Yet, if we are all caught up in emotions, as the measure within as what we have remediated ourselves in and as, and that this has some meaning that is of a value greater than common sense, like we are existing as movies of emotional values in and as our biological imitative beingness, and so occupied with this, that we have no ability to measure in common sense what is going on right under our noses? We have lost, or not developed from the get go, a sense of the measure of reality here, and how our systems are structures that play with the measure of here in ways that support a separation that places an idea of value judgements before common sense?
And, overall, some, that are lost in their value judgements, which are a separation, that layers as emotions, that builds a character that becomes the expression of the person, who buys the airwaves of media, and impulses this value, which is imitated and programmed within each, that what is real, and what is common sense is completely lost.
And then, the structural design, economically naturally causes a lot of stress because that debt based on imaginary money made real accepted as real, by the borrower, has each of us running on a treadmill of limited values imitated to survive within this limited scenario, that we are so caught up in, we can no longer realize that a cup is a cup. Period.
What we see, is that the cup is purple, and based on our memories of comfort, or culture, that the cup’s value is based on its color because it triggers emotions of security of one’s place on a grid on inequality, where one’s cultural beliefs, are touted because they maintain one’s value that defines one placement. Our common sense tells us it is a sup, our emotional sense tells us that the value is based on other - and very very limited- qualities - and of course, these values are not good or bad, but they are made self defining values. A real smoke and mirrors show. I mean, this is how a natural divergent thinking ability is lost, that ability to look at an object and realize the real value as what the form can be used for beyond allowing one limited characteristic to become the value. And even here, to realize that the values are commodified, so one believes that there is choice. But the choice is very limited. I mean  walk into a department store and see all the shapes and sizes and believe that you have a choice, and that your choice is the “ real” choice and the best choice, when it really in no choice, because that cup is a cup.
So, my tiredness is the thought of having to face this paranormal system of limited values that humans have allowed to define themselves as. And, also to realize that because these limited values have been allowed to define us, and we are not taking our heads out of the illusion, that these values can be used to direct us into realigning ourselves back into our common sense. It is being responsible and non-reactive, to and towards the separation, because emotional reactions are  myself being the same, placing limited values before reality. And, I am such a program of this, that my automated reactions are not all clear, because it took a long time to build this inner-value-before-life-common-sense, that I have to bring myself back, breath, slow down, forgive the values, step out of the paranormal reality and ground myself here. And, once again, to realize that the only place that I can be in common sense, is equal and one with and as the physical, so the answer is always right in front of me, as there is no place to “ fall” but here.
I notice that when I become an emotional reaction, my legs physically become heavy, the muscles in my thighs become tense, constricted. This is the morality system of values I have defined myself as. This has accumulated into my flesh and defines my character, because it is of limited values, that are not good or bad, just aspects of qualities about the physical, not something to be allowed a more than status. And the loss of this, I fear would mean the loss of myself, but it is not the loss of myself, it is the loss - so to speak- of my separation from the gift of life, which is my common sense. I fear standing as the responsibility of and as this.
In all, it is very much like the logi-rhythm of a violin sting, where the divisions are placed within redividing space into a time of measure within a limited framework, and within this system, the division are of  commodified different measures, but the string length stays the same and it is composed of physical substance, so it is to become flexible, mutable, without fear of what underlies changing, it is only the pressure that changes the sound, 
What remains is the physical world and to get myself back is a process because it took time to build the separation from myself as life, here. And, for this separation I forgive myself, which means, re-scripting myself through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application to become response-able as life.



Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Day 503 Resource extraction and currencies, A design that weakens the infrastructure of life.


Our currencies must be equal in value across the globe because changes in values of currencies flood a country’s local currency to access a resource extraction  building  service industry, and when that resource is extracted the monetary flow ends, and the service sector no longer has income and meanwhile, the values, the values of the local industry are inflated in relation to that additional income, so across the boards, all salaries have to come down, in relation to the resource and labor creating the values that exist. What happens is that no one wants to level out their income, down size in proportion to the capital of the land, and, the other ordinary capital has been ignored or stopped, because the money from resource extraction done with foreign money ( that is the wealth of the resource and labor of men), raising salaries,  moved the work force into the service of that industry. And, the total capital of the land is diminished. So, on the one hand there is less capital, and on the other, the salaries are all inflated, and the focus has been on the money flow instead of the basic needs flow  production. And, to add to this, instead of money into land stewardship and development, so much of the wealth goes into military development, which is another drain on the capital of the earth, that is not taking care of what produces and cares for the earth that gives what is needed for physical existence to have basic needs. This is really one big mess, and there is no excuse for this what-so-ever. And then the justification begin, they are religion, class, race, nationality, gender, etc. etc. etc. all ignoring common sense of what it means to be physical, which is life information, which is creation, what can only happen HERE.
So, it is like we created a limited box, and then we have a mental image as a projection of a reflection of that limited box, and we believe the projection is real. And, depending where one is in the hierarchy of what holds the limited box in place, we gather in peer groups, and our words are equations that are in relation to that perspective that is of limited insight, where inference is used through accepted traditions that no longer remember the reason for the tradition and turn that tradition into an artifact, an art of fact that has a starting point of limitation. And so, a mind con-science system is built that is in separation from reality, from practical physical existence. And this projection, because it is not equal to the physical, and requires sustenance, consumes the flesh, showing the state of dis-ease with and as life, as the physical being a value, being life in formation, in expression, here.
So, we project a “ good” as a happy picture, and we suppress the “ bad” as what would open our insight back into common sense of reality, as the physical. I mean, the tool of the mind, can be a reflection of a common sense of physical reality, which is equality and oneness with and as creation, as the information of the physical.
If we look at a justification within creating a Living Income Guarantee as an idea that there are those who do not work, we must realize that a Living Income Guarantee will stabilize the de-stabalizing that  mixed currencies create, that in turn puts people out of work, and disrupts production and creates administrations that are in fear of loss of income, that then supports armies that purport to stabilize but end up doing the same thing that caused the problem in the first place, but the military is really to hold the inequality in place. And the inequality, is based on an idea of self definition that was held as a structure but did not consider all of self as a physical being, as a starting point. It is all an idea of a more than done in comparison only, instead of realizing that it is being here, in common sense of the physical as life in formation as creation, which is the value, the value being self in expression as life, here. Unfortunately, we have lived as an image in mind only as being more than life,  a judgement being more than life, creating war and destruction instead of one of stewardship and respect for that which is life in formation as the physical, this which allows us to become equal and one to and as life, here, to stand equal and one with creation, as the physical, as what we are. Unequal division and conquest is a rejection of life.  Taking from Peter to pay Paul is a separation from life. Fearing to stand up within the present administration systems is  a crime against life. All it takes is to implement a Living Income Guarantee to allow a system transformation into the bodies of men, to become stewards of life, meaning the ability to choose what is best practice. I read, that if just 5% of people do this, it will begin.

It means a divestment of pensions from fixed sectors, inhibiting change, and placing pensions within the profits from freely given resources, where the values as the wealth created from these freely given resources is circulated back to the life, as the labor of all men, to be stewards of the physical formation of creation, as what creation would be in all common sense. It means understanding that our present hierarchy is a structure that focuses on perspectives, meaning, one section structures various parts of infrastructure, and that not one point of this is more than another. Just because one learns to work with the symbols of resource movement as digits and letters, to organize, does not make them more than, say, the person that remains on the ground, organizing a garden directly. I mean, we all know that professors can talk up a structure, but place them in physical practice and they hardly know how to move themselves. And yet, they cannot exist without the other.
Support a Living Income Guarantee, to create an infrastructure that respects all life, realizes the value is life, and begins the journey of structuring earth in equality and oneness with the value being life.
                                 Living Income Guarantee



Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Day 493 One seemingly little thought. Looking up to father.


What is one seemingly little thought?
In looking at what comes up within points of pain within my physical body, I came to a memory of myself looking up to my father.
The value within the memory, and as a entity as a personification that I hold, is of my father being a source of stability from the eyes of myself as a young child. In all there is no good or bad about this, but it is an association that when made as a singular thought without the development within understanding a common sense of physical form and function, as practical reality,  creates a more than as a value that I project outside of myself.
So, that one thought, the one little thing, there behind other memories, was like a small seed that grew and grew, inflamed by myself because I accepted and allowed it, and followed this same inflammation of value within peers and media until it grew into a value to follow at the exclusion of common sense development.
This appears to me at the moment as such an insidious development, because the initial thought is so small, and yet grows so big over a period of time to become an energetic storm because an awareness of a physical context is not realized as the real sustaining value - which ultimately only self can be responsible for, even with a systemic design that aids and abets this value system that is in separation from common sense, as this allows the smoke and mirrors show of inequality and separation from life which is what inequality as our monetary system is and does, the outward manifestation of the separation from a common sense and thus, respect for our physical life, our planet, the very life of each of us, this that we enjoy more than any other, this that is a vehicle to be forgiving of ourselves as life. This is the single most enjoyable thing to be. It is what the trees do, the soils, the air, the water.
So, within this thought, as this memory, there was my father, to whom, as a child, I placed stability, capability, comfort, awe. And, yes, the capacity from my child’s eyes is cool, but it is the being of this, even if it is an idea projected onto another, that is something existent here, which means seeing that “ stance” as being self stable, capable, directive here. Instead of objectifying this, to realize that the awe of this is to be life as this, to stand here, stable, capable, directive as a physical being. Instead, we are taught to admire the father/man/object instead of the expression, and within this the physical form expressing here as being the value in total.
I had to move through all the drama built from this beginning thought, down to this one moment - and there may be more! One little thought, seemingly hard to catch because it is so small. Physically, that one little thought build a weight that can move up and down within, somehow settling in my heart, and here, in anxiety I begin to feel as though I cannot breath. It is myself that accepted this, it is myself that follows a belief instead of common sense, it is myself that causes the accumulated pain of my own separation, I build my own burdens, instead of remaining here, equal and one , in and as breath, being life, which means being forgiving, as self, realizing that value is life. Which means, open transparent communication with all men, plants, animals, everything, which means looking here and using common sense as what does no harm and supports all life absolutely. The elite need to realize this, as this is the only solution. That comfortable lifestyle can be experienced no matter where one goes if the total fabric of the physical world be respected and cared for, which means unequal distribution of resources must come to an end, and all labor respected and taught understanding with the value being life, and the common sense ability that is the nature of self as the life within to be equal in understanding the physical world.
Within this, I can see where this happens in so many ways: a boy towards a mother, sister, aunt etc. etc.. Or,  girl with any adult that becomes the dominant caretaker in one’s early life, which we can see in how people tend to need a certain figure in their lives or they feel something is missing. For my husband, he always like the company of men, like he was looking for that male companion, where he was comfortable with certain communication and support from a male. and I understand he had been very close to his father. There is nothing “ wrong” with this, it is a good in itself, but it is limiting, because the environment is limited, because an object becomes a venue, instead of the use of common sense and a realization that the need has nothing to do with the object and everything to do with self being directive within self as the thing sought after. The lack is a belief, and a projection of that value onto another instead of standing equal and one to the value and then using self to sense practical measurable physical reality to direct.
We can say that intellectually, many of us understand this, but we do not realize how much our emotional reactions are in fact based on such thoughts. These thoughts impulsed into us over and over again for generations not only by family, but what is generated by media, and the years of peers doing the same, and this accumulation happening all around us incessantly. This  limited scenario is also what we fall back on when we fear our survival, because when that fear of financial security comes in, we fall back on the protection and defense mechanisms as what we were taught as a unit of measure, and this is the value system that began with those little thoughts that so many have spent so many years trying to correct, only to use them again when under extreme survival duress, and/or fear of losing one’s social group in fear of being alone without any interaction with other men, or fear of being considered to not be a nice person, because one is not responding in socially accepted compassion for what we have all allowed. This just, in the end perpetuates the problem, this initial mis-understanding with common sense. We know that we move against common sense, and yet when someone does stand as this, it demands that we look at our actions, and it has become socially accepted that our limitations need sympathy and time to correct, so we give into them, which continues the separation. And money also allows this continued limitation, So, in the end it is all of us doing this.
Yet, this is obviously unsustainable. It ignores, in favor of a feeling or belief one has within, the actual real physical world without. So, in choosing one’s emotion within over the real world without, animals, plants, children, earth suffers. So, what is more important, that feeling, that emotion, or life? The consideration of other’s basic needs to live in dignity or that emotion based on a thought that projected a polarized comparative value separating into an inwardly occupying divisive insight onto something outside of self, as a more than with self as a less than from a starting point of being a tiny vulnerable human baby, that in reality is a value that can stand as that projection as what self is as life, here?
Within this, if someone suggests that self cannot stand in common sense, and understand here, that this is perhaps being arrogant, and ends the conversation at this point, it means here to slow down, to communicate, to walk what is directive within self honesty as common sense, to realize that that which was projected onto the “ father” as the figure is the capacity of self as life.
So, my objectifications of values into projections must be taken back into myself, and stood equal and one to and focused as a directive that realizes that the physical world is real, and as such something to be respected as life, which means that I must give as I would like to receive, as what is here is me, equal and one. 
Within this I sense a resistance as though this is arrogance. How odd. And then this fear that being this will mean that I will become alone and that the changes within standing as this, will mean a loss, but the alternative as limitation is not a choice. And that people who are reactive are in essence bullying their limitations of which one must speak up about, even if the bullying continues - and lack of communication is a form of bullying! 
I mean, just look at the rhythm of our media, it exists as “ short attention span” sound bites of information. The very rhythm and meter of it is limited. Is this what we want? How many of us realize that humans are not the measure of their capacity to sense more consequence? And are we, even at our best, in full potential? No.
This is what became of me as I polarized myself into projecting values onto things outside of me, and denied myself equality to and as life, here, and instead became limited values within and as energy as beliefs, opinions and ideas as limitations to define me. This is where the memory of the thought, that one little thought accumulated and build a concrete ideological memory that began to direct me around seven years of age, and created myself as a mind consciousness system in separation from life, from my own gift of and as life, this ability to be here.
It is time to clean all of this up. There is no one to blame, they are all dead anyway. lol. And, self justification only perpetuates the cycle. So, the only choice is to get ourselves in the order of the gift of life, our sensibility as our common sense, equal and one to and as the physical world here.


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Monday, October 14, 2013

Day 448 Self Corrective Statements for Indolence


When and as I find myself within a thought that I am not understood, I stop and I breath, and I realize where I did not direct myself and instead allowed myself to become uncertain - in separation as uncertainty - and/or exist as a belief that I somehow missed something and thus “ did something wrong” as a consequence of an earlier thought and/or  thought that what I was/am doing is impossible, and/or labeled the other as limited/ignorant/stupid all such inner actions a separation away from the moment within and as such a road to self righteousness, justification, into characters of projection and self abdication of life, and as such all that I can do is forgive my separation and realize that I can only be a solution within and as being directive within the principle of what is best for all, this which is directive and humble, and which is going to take some practice, as the venues of a polarity system have been my accepted and allowed con-dition.


When and as I find myself going into a movement of projection I see realize and understand that I am rejecting myself as life, pushing away a “ bad” and justifying within a good as myself  believing the fault is not mine, here I stop and I breath and I see, realize and understand that I am equal to all life, and as this the choice is solution as what is best for all.

When and as I find myself hesitating to direct myself within my environment, I stop and I breath, and I take an evaluation within what I am able to order within where I am, and I do not allow myself to obsess over where I am, and I stop and I breath, and I - take the time to walk every day- and I  realize the steps I am able to complete within the framework of a day and not expect more than this, and I do not allow myself to wonder into and as my mind pondering why certain expectations have not been met as this is not myself being directive but allowing myself to separate into self pity, and character escapades in and as justification, self righteousness, inferiority, projection all of which are not directive here within and as the principle of what is best for all.




Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Day 442 - A CONGRESS of limited parts, misunderstanding life.


So, we spend our growing years in classrooms and in front of Television sets and in front of parents introduced to the physical world in the same way, parents that are taught to see the parts of the physical made huge. And yes, there are those who specialize and come to know some of the mechanics of here,  and/or this varies by degree. And how here works is often taught through a spread out theory, through theory, without practical application.  It is believed that one must have some “ theory” some scaffolding, some built background as a map - which is exactly what it is- as a picture, as mind before any real practical application. 

All of this admits that each human being creates a picture, a map, an outline, a structure as image, as “ internal form”/map within. Which means humans are capable of inner structure. Which means the inner can be structured, which means that any human that lacks any inner discipline does not have a solid, “ full,” complete, stable etc. etc. inner structure. Which begs the question as to why and/or what would allow such a movement, such a development, especially since there are patterns to the behaviors of lack in our world. Obviously, there are patterns to development, thus the form, the social form is the mechanism for what is accepted and allowed, for what is created.

On the side, it is also to note that the financial structure is what allows flow of needs. And, the substances that support the physical body in the very  deliberate division of them suggests an ability to understand thus what exists is a deliberate misunderstanding, a lacl of any real respect for physical existence. I mean, we all know at this point that our food is composed of , generally, about  five ingredients pressed into different shapes, with vegetable oils that are not meant for the tropical environment of the human physical body, this physical entity on this physical earth that moves as a mechanism that requires lipids, and proteins, and enzymes, and minerals and vitamins, etc. etc. etc. in order to be a proper functioning machine, as the physical is mechanistic, which a creation as a form would be, parts of substance taking on a form in order to become a “ shape” /form to build to become and express what works as a shape that is able to move, to be, which naturally -  would be visible and thus able to be understood. Unless, that image maker as the mind, was made more than the whole, and used to divide awareness from physical reality, because some had pictures in and as their mind, their para-sight, their before “REEL” sight/halo site, which is to say like a “ secondary sight” was not only made bigger than life, but also  a collection of partial truths, which is another way of saying “ lies by omission,” a program/words/structure that - and they would probably have “ more” structure taught in relation to others - that; lead to the belief that they were more, and, that the program was that they were more than another. And to realize that we are all doing this.  All of this in the face of reality, as reality, the physical, would not have a more than, as the physical, the form, the structure of the manifestation of the substance of life, would be to create expression of life, which would be a mechanism of parts working together, where no one part could possibly be more than another, because the point would be to enjoy simply being life, realizing that one part could not exist without the other, and life would create something that allowed understanding of all parts because this awareness would allow the parts of the “ machine” to realize how the whole came together. I mean this would be maintenance - the MAIN idea being that life was the value, expression as life would be the value.

So, that GPS system, that image maker, could that image maker be the “ idol” maker, this being the image maker/map maker, inner structure ( perhaps a separation in totality) lead to idolization that is really the human being idle with self as life here, lost in limited parts seeing only, lost in lies by omission? And this creating a hierarchy in and as this imposed limited through part seeing only inner structure? Our addictions are monopolistic, and this is separation from common sense! And perhaps did this start because each of us chose this “ lesser god” this partial map, this ideological picture self over what was real? And, as this, are we denying what we really are that is forgiving this ideological self, to ironically give up everything as this partial imaginary self to gain EVERYTHING as that of us that is of the very substance of life creating the form to be that which is same in all form which is the substance of life, this substance aware of itself in totality, where each of us is a unique part of this total?

Lets go back to what we are exposed to as we enter this system of partial understanding passed on for generations of men. How is the partial truth built into us? Would sitting in a class room memorizing partial stories create a partial inner structure, and if actual practical, direct movement with the actual real physical world  not be allowed/experienced/explained/lived what would become the directive of us in the absence of ever having any real practical understanding? Can this be considered a “ false god”? One that is confusing because it is not NOT false, but not true either. The answer being that it is really a separation from understanding, a misunderstanding because it is self not being equal to self as life. And, if this had been going on for so long that such a thing, such a state were so in separation that conceptual understanding of this is simply not present in one being able to speak up as this clearly, even though each of us to some degree realize that somehow we are not complete. The confusion, is self not being able “ to put a finger “ on this state of lack. 




We need only really look at the form that is being fed to us, as children sitting in classrooms memorizing limited knowledge and information without practical application. We need only really look at what foods are being sold to us. We need only really look at our accepted and allowed financial system. We need only really look at the systemic form of what is here, and at the same time look at what are  our beliefs, ideas, opinions are within, seemingly so real, but the effect of making the mental inner GPS bigger than, or unequal to, physical reality is because this aspect of ourselves has been all that is allowed, and as this, each must realize that because we are as entities builders of our inner structure, we cannot really blame another for what we have accepted and allowed, and also - and yet- realize that as children standing up against this is very difficult, so in the end being angry or spiteful is simply not how this is changed, the only thing to do is to forgive this, equalize ourselves back down to earth, and forgive this inner GPS that is touted as a heaven, when it is not, it is our separation.

The solution is to remove the economic stress, which means changing the form of the financial system to give the basic needs of ourselves as physical beings that have developed an inner system of separation, that is not to be rejected outright, simply placed back into the whole, to allow the removal of the game of survival that is based on ideas that one thing is more than another, and to allow change and flexibility within physical existence. I mean we have systems that have become elephants in the room, they are barbaric, and non supportive of the physical world. What is keeping them in place is the few who have been feeding off the dividends, siphing off profits, that are a crime against life based on a system as an idea built from a limited understanding based on a limited construct as an inner belief system- meaning an inner collection of ideas that are parts built of refulgent pictures as memory that burn the very substance of the physical in self maintenance as this “ lesser unequal self” is a limited parasitical awareness that like a “ spoiled child” wants it way, or drives itself forward as this is how it exists. It is like the projection can only exist if it is continually projected - just like a movie. This is not heaven, this is really the “so-called” fires of hell. lol And ironically, we name our addictions, our limited ideas that motivate us and also separate us from participating fully in life:, as power, as lust, as greed, as envy all a fear of an imagined loss or a respite from a fear of loss.

Our separation must be realized, looked at deconstructed and equalized with life here. This means that yes, the elephant in the room must be brought back down to size so the real elephants are no longer shot and destroyed for an idea that ivory tusks are more than simply enjoying being an expression of life as physical forms on a physical earth. If we truly want to live, want to become creators, we must equalize ourselves to physical existence because this is the whole story, the is the real form, this is creation, this is the gift of life, this is the formation of creation.

Come on people, lets get this world in order, the order of life. It can only work - as the opposite of what is touted, that as an idea of a superman- as all parts working collectively together. This is the joy, this is life, each standing together understanding the physical as life, direct, here, equalizing the WHOLE story as the physical. Nothing will be lost and all will be gained. If you feel that no one understands you it is because no one has been understood in equality and oneness in and as life here. You are not alone, we have all become “ alone” instead of all one within and as a separate reality as mind where the parts are simply this, a part of what is real and as being a part only, unstable, inconstant, changeable in understanding here creating an associative game of parts that have no connection to the whole as the physical, that which is real, has been made less than a lesser god as an inner construct that is only a picture show.

Support the Equal Life Foundation, support a Living Income Guarantee. Walk you picture show in detail, it is free : DIPLite. Check out the interviews at Eqafe.com especially the parenting series.
Ironically, the dirt under your fingernails is the real perfume of life, especially when that dirt is filled with life.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Day 361 "God's" heaven is more of the same.

I remember having a thought way back before desteni and this thought keeps coming up in relation to my process at the moment. I am really looking at how to respond to others. What I notice when I talk with people, or as I listen to people to stand back for a moment and not respond, to listen to them as me, to see what they present as their words, as the surface. As, I notice what has happened in my zealous approach to explain consciousness, I get lost in shades of grey, so to speak, as I address the words without looking at them in context of here, as I have allowed myself to be lead by desire, having an expectation and in this my desire to explain has superseded insight in the moment, simply being here and not fearing failure, as having a desire to explain I end up looking for a way through the maze of words and as such ignore the words, my sight on the “ way through” instead of the facade in detail which must be addressed and made aware of itself. This is like addressing the mask, and bringing it back to physical reality in common sense of what is best for all, as simply looking at what is physically here, the projection of the personality the use of the past as memory validating a separation from being self responsible here.

In searching for a way through, I ignore the totality of here, even within what has been accepted and allowed as personification of the past to avoid self responsibility, I become mired in habit, in the past as creation of myself here as this is the detail with which I have built myself, my morality with chains of words that reiterate this and justify this, as this is how I have accepted and allowed myself to communicate in survival.

My children were much younger, small. I sometimes felt trapped within caring for them and myself. At times I felt I had not time for myself, and at times I felt that I was so limited within exposing my children to the world. The means of financial support locked us in one place as a family, and the responsibility of school locked us in place. I could not move out of this. Thus the only exposure to animals from other continents were the local natural history museum that was right down the street from me, where there were these dark hallways with lighted storefront like windows with stuffed carcasses of exotic animals. So, I took my children to look at the dead every so often.
I think the transition times were the most difficult because there was not really enough time to concentrate on something, maybe enough to just barely hold onto something but not really move forward, as I saw this. In the afternoons I would become so tired that I wanted to sleep and sometimes I did, but i had to fight to stop this because it was not a solution.

I think it was this time that I had this thought that somehow heaven was no different than here on earth, that whatever was going on was not changed within going to heaven. In other words it was all the same. THe second part of the thought was that something needed to be faced and cleaned up and that all of this was somehow “ outside” of this problem. I did not have the tools, instead I tried to organize myself to not allow the tiredness in the afternoons, this heavy feeling that would come like clock work. I did not stop to think that it was the very state of myself as my emotions and feelings as this tiredness that was the cog in the wheel as my behavior, all based on my past, and self judgements. I did not even have the ability to tell anyone that I had this thought, as somehow these insights that popped up once in a while I kept to myself, as though I had been trained to remain silent within them. Here I have memories of my family and relatives telling me I was other-worldly, intuitive, spacey, odd, without any kind of explanation, just titles that sometimes I took to mean I was special but always that odd sense that somehow this explained nothing and if I spoke up I just received more of the same, so I learned that there were some things that were not spoken of, and if I did speak up I accepted a lack of response. Sometimes I did it just for the hell of it as there was nothing to lose.

But, this is acting superior, as in believing that I am alone, as it is a separation from equality and oneness. It is the same as not facing what is here that is what separates as the past constructing the self validation as the facade as the projection of self abdication using a more than and/or less than quality system to hide from being self responsible as life. Our built survival suits, really to survive our own created fears of being life. Like, “ Okay, I can’t face this now, just let me wrap this idea i have of myself around me for a moment longer.” And in the comfort of this I/one fell asleep. We are all sleeping beauties, but it is not the kiss that will wake us, it is allowing the touch of life to be recognized as what we are that is what wakes. it is the symbology as associations we accept and allow that are the walls of our burial into sleep. The material of sleep the morality of culture, class, gender, religion, creating a mix of relative values argued in separation from physical reality.

Thus, I cannot fear the facades, as this is the projection away from physical reality , from what is real here. In fearing to face these facades that are compositions of values within relatives to class and gender and self definition as behaviors of supposed positive and negative values used to define ourselves and when questioned are instead of being faced reacted against as hurting feelings that are basically facade maintenance in not facing what is happening on earth to life on other parts of the planet, and even here where I live. One example is the disappearance of the horse shoe crab.


So, I doubt myself in facing this facade, as the reactions, and I also have desires and expectations that catch me up in an idea that I have failed because i imagine and outcome instead of remaining here where things are solved and brought back, so when I try to fix what is here, I end up trying to control what is here and weigh myself in comparison to an expectation/desire for success. And this does not exist, as there is no success, there is only here. What is on the outside of a layered facade as a personality, as ignorance, as protection and defense, as hiding, can only be faced as the layer before me, as the beliefs, opinions and ideas, voiced, moved as, here, the separations that are only limitationsfrom being equal and one with the substance of life here.

If I look at these limitations I realize the structure in which I lived limited me. The financial limitations were the form of the system. Insane that dead animals were the allowed choice for children to supposedly have exposure. What I focus on here is the focus within myself. So, within these times when I felt tired, I looked only at the existential limitations and did not consider my own thoughts as being limitations, even when I stopped to not allow the tiredness.

All of this was the consequence of a lack of structure within. Meaning, a lack in having a clear direction that addressed uncertainty absolutely. Since i am a physical beingness here, how i move myself here within this needs a sense of structure of which the physical gives as it is what i am here, both being of the substance of life.

Thus, if I am within imagination as idea, especially as the idea, the very very limited idea, as needing to make a living to survive, and that is limited systemically to only certain venues as professions, and these professions are all in service to a few who reap the profits and thus return their profits to maintain their disproportionate gains that create incredible lack for so so many, which is removing supportive structure to the physical world, as life, these ideas I allow that are the morality taught to adhere to this purposeful lack I have really not looked here, and I have not realized a structure within that gives clear directions through the fear of loss as I have not taken the time to slow down, and move from fear and uncertainty and looked here as myself to realize how to move where yes, others can help within this, but ultimately I must structure myself as direct myself here, and I must realize that everything that is here must learn/have this is well, every human, this an innate capacity as life that has no direction because it has not been accepted and developed by self, not allowed systemically through absence, not given, not SHARED, not communicated. Thus we are all to blame for not stopping and looking at what would structurally absolutely allow each human to develop themselves as what they are as life both as physical support and inner directives as an order of being able to self direct as what is inherent within and as the substance that is what each of us is, which is life.

This is the mess that has created the separation from life, the lack in structure in self development within and as life, of which each of us has accepted and allowed, and instead created a system of such divisions that a separate reality/dimension as heaven was created for a few to hide from reality, from facing themselves, this all a huge division from life, from equality to and as life, this made so huge that it is the only thing believed to be real, when it is a far from the truth as we can probably possible get. It is the veil as energythat is the separation from life. Heaven was a projection in separation from equality and oneness to and as life as what we are, as that which used the physical world as what was real, to sustain itself. And this makes sense because why separate heaven? Life would be “ heaven “ as what life is! Thus the idea that this is somewhere else is and indication that there is great separation from life going on, and that separation is because there is a lack of directive capacity within being here, equal to the physical reality. And the lack of having a directive supportive structure is no fault but our own because we did not look. And the outward system we have all accepted and allowed on earth, is a consequence of this lack in directive capacity within each of us, and any fear is a state of imagination in loss, where the answer is to give self common sense direction within and as what is best for all, as all that is here is of life, equal and one to and as what we all are. Thus there is no choice but to stand and change the system as the many hands of men that we are into a system that supports all life as life being the value, which is a system of equality, using what we have created to get this in place, which is money, to do what is best for all, to allow the forms that are here to function within themselves as life, to provide the structure within and without to be self directive as life, realizing that fear is simply not having the directive clarity, which is unnecessary as the physical as the substance of life, by nature can consider itself within and as what works, what is best for all, as each is one with life, and yet individual as self, thus everything is connected.

As, well, is it so with myself, individually here. If I allow imagination as expectation based on limited survival morality that is in separation from realizing the physical world is what is real, and I have accepted and allowed this as directive, then I am so busy with this that i am not looking here, and within this at this point, I have to realize the separations from here and the lack in self directive as life structural learning/habits in others, and I have to realize that if I continue to accept and allowed a survival morality that is extremely limited and based on fear from a starting point that began within myself as not having built a structure that is directive absolutely within equal consideration and respect for life, than I will only perpetuate separation from life, for myself and thus for all, which means “ heaven as life” will not be what is created/accepted.

So, within my allowing myself to be expectations I am being an expression of a survival morality and as this I become consciousness as this is the construct of a survival morality and is in separation from life. Then within this I judge myself and am no longer self honest as life. The means and the way beyond/out of/ equalizing myself to life, is to self forgive myself for my separations into limitations that were of hiding from life, protection and defense for my limited morality, acts of comparison to compete and measure progress within this limitation and fear, and to correct and give a directive structure to and as myself using the principle of equality of life, realizing that I cannot be life until I respect/understand life as this is how life will respect/understand back as me as it as what i am and you are.

It is to realize that our survival morality play has scorched the physical world, and to stop and to begin to direct ourselves structurally within equality and oneness, realizing life is the value, and giving ourselves this so that this becomes what exists on earth absolutely as this is “ heaven” on earth, the only place where “ heaven” can exist, to prove that we are all able to be the gift given, which is a gift we give ourselves, which is life.

So, I will begin to walk self forgiveness and corrective application, to align a limited survival morality into a corrective self directive that is what is best for all as this is what is best for myself, to give as I would like to receive, to respect life so that life will respect me back, which is to equalize myself to life, here. This needs no killing, no war, no conflict, as it is simply accepting and allowing here, earth and working with this as the form that it is, to equalize with and as it, and once this is done, which will take some time, to begin the journey to life, as this journey is not really begun until each and every thing on earth is equal and one to and as life. It cannot be any other way, that is common sense.