Day 204 Answering in protection and defense of self

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the personification of care, to adhere to the questioning of a male and to serve the questions within believing I care as the happy face presentation, where I take on the string of questions in an effort to answer and protect myself from the alternative of not answering as a protection and defense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I do this all the time, as it was a means of survival, to answer to the questioning of another within survival in trying to figure out this world in and as the mind as energy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become care for the mind, care for answering to the demands of the mind as the mind judges and then seeksvalidation of its judgement to prove it knows.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become this with all males, and females where solutions are constantly kneeded that do not look to the whole and realize the system of the quantum mind and its effects on the very systems of this world, that are a system of greed and rape, as this system of a mind consciousness sucks the resources of this earth and turns them into energy to sustain a separation from what is real, the physical world, to the point where this physical world will be destroyed, this that the mind has no idea of as it has not learned to work with this physical world and instead abuses and rapes, pillages and destroys in a belief that man is more than, as man is looking at this world within a movement of gain, of belief in being more than, where in reality there is no more than, there is only here, as the substance of life, which is not a state of energy in and as the mind as this mind made huge is a plan that is of separation, ignorant of what is real, viewing only parts, as is evident in the parts revealed only within media, education, family - as the adult members of the family were trained within the same system of separation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have focused myself onto and as a care to the questioning of the mind, the care of the separation from realizing equality as being one and equal to the substance of life here, and this reading and answering within respect to all existent on this earth, never blaming, comparing, judging, denigrating.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that caring in and as answering to the limited values of more than and less than according to what is projected by media, education, politics, family values, religious values, is all in separation from this physical world and in answer to beliefs, opinions and ideas of more than and less than which is to say a separation from the reality of equality within life substance into and as energy as mind, as polarities of right and wrong, instead of remaining within what is stable and sustaining, the actual physical world, the plan of life, the only real plan/form/tool of expression.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give a care to the authority of my parents, to the views and opinions and ideas of endless speculation into human behavior where answers were never really found within the many questions sought as this system in totality, within and without was never considered, as secondary qualities were always the starting point, these assumptions unclear, but taught, causing a separation from realizing the substance of life was the support of all existent on earth, the divisions into more than and less then, as judgements were existent because the starting point was of judgement into more than and less then, and within this fear was generated in fearing to lose the values lived within the family that were believed to make one more than another, as these values were unequal to understanding that the real value was the very substance of life, the form of which is being destroyed to serve a mind of limited insight and thus, value judgements, instead of realizing that being a form in and as this physical world is the value, is what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give a care for religion, to have answered to the separation from equality and oneness as the substance of life, here into and as a belief that there is some magical world of peace beyond this world, which is a judgement of this world in and as itself and this an ignorance of life substance as the gift of life, where the gift of life would create no separations of one world and another, as the gift of life would value all life, value simply being here, enjoying the sensation of simply being, and within this create many forms of expression, which are not realized as the real value by the human, as the human is a mind consciousness system in and as energy, as limited values, fearing losing the “furniture” of the mind as the limited values of more than and less than, all an act of ignorance of what is real, as the gift of life, which is this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I give value to material objects, and the voices in and as my mind that support beliefs of more than and less than, and thus a belief in ownership, I am a mind consciousness system, I am a walking judgement, and I am in separation from myself as life, so obvious in the loss of my ability to even sense this physical world, where I, as I grow older lose the ability to sense my human physical legs, to sense how to drive a car down the road, to sense walking in stability on the very face, as the ground of this earth, where I lose my eyesight and thus am unable to walk in dignity as life, as I have abdicated my common sense in and as life, equal and one to what is real, which is this actual physical world.

When and as I walk, breath in and as my human physical body I see, realize and understand that I am here as the substance of life, and that the Plan as the structure of what is presently existent on this earth as a system in separation from the value as the form of the physical world, this system the accepted and allowed structure as a plan that must be taken apart and realigned to realizing life is the value, I stop and I breath when I find myself answering as the voices in and as my mind as the values of separation from the value being life, respecting and working with this physical world, where working with this physical world means causing absolutely no abuse, as the physical is understood to be the substance of life, as this is what is real and not the fantasy of another life - this act of judgement of this world as being less - and I breath and I realize there is nothing to lose but life itself, and thus I look to what has been accepted and walk within this to realign this to oneness and equality, this realizing that this physical world is life, and that this is the value, as this is the manifestation of what a “real” god would create, as a system of suffering is just this, the existence of suffering and nothing else, where it is impossible to realize self as life, and express self as life, thus the whole idea of taking “shit” to get to a better place is an illusion placed on this earth in and as the quantum mind of con-sciousness as belief system that allows abuse, that in allowing abuse , is ignorant of this physical world and how this physical world is an/the expression of life as the substance of life, one and equal in all existent as the physical.
I commit myself to no longer ignoring this authored separation in and as my mind consciousness system, this separation of more than and less than values, to see, realize and understand that these values as judgements as mind are the act of separation, causing instability into emotions and feelings, the accumulation of ideas, beliefs and opinions as thoughts serving what has become manifest as the creation of separation as the nature of energy always needing a substance to burn in self maintenance, where it can be realized that this is the movement of self as energy as separation through becoming aware of physical constriction within the human physical body, the very act of the personification of limited values consuming the physical flesh just as the profit based system of ownership digs into this physical earth to consume resource, eating away as life, destroying what is the value, the expression of life here, thus does the human allow the destruction of the very platform/plan of life to serve the mind consciousness system of limited value selection that is the mind consciousness system as mind made huge, as the mind is a tool to map what is here in common sense, yet this has been used to serve energy, just as this earth is being raped to serve energy, lacking the principle of respecting life, as life is the value, the principle of give as you would like to receive, the principle of being life, self forgiving as life, here, of which the breath places one here, equal and one in every moment, walking in common sense of life, within this act of being physically here. I mean this is common sense.

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Day 48 Personality: the NO-I-SE-e self sound.

Day 48 My Personality: the NO-I-SE-e self sound.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to define myself according to relationships,where the relation to something defines who and what I am, to the point where I feel that losing that relation means the end of my self here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear being single which is a belief that I am somehow less than another because I am single, where the word single means, within this culture, that I am “available” and that I am alone as though I am not my self unless I have a relation to another person, as in being in a relationship.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to allow relationships to be an indicator of what I am, instead of realizing that it is how I direct my self in every moment that determines my self here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to cling to relationships in fear that something could be lost, when it is the being of my self here, as how I am within what I do, as in the being of my self here that signifies my self as an expression of life, as this is what I am, and that I am life and all that is here is life requires no relationship as I am here, thus it is the very being here as my self that is, no relationships needed as defining who and what and how I am, so the expression of my self here varies and is determined by the environment, where this earth is the environment, and thus how this earth is organized determines the expression of me as what I am, which is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my furniture to define who and what I am, where should I lose my furniture/house,  something of my self would be lost, yet this furniture/house cannot define, be what is the value, as the value of my self is life, where if I possess - meaning own- and defend what furniture I have I become a defender of furniture, as possessor of furniture/house as the expression of my self, where all that I allow my self to exist as is the defense of possessions.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that this being of my self as possessive of things separate from me to define me is in fact myself not being here and living, and within this to realize that the present system on earth is a reflection of what I as within have accepted and allowed, where I am caught in a trap as what i have allowed within, to exist in a system where I require an education to get money and cloak my self in certain objects in order to maintain a place within a hierarchy in order to survive, and were I to be born in a country of great resource, where the resource was desired by those only considering their own survival to the point where the resource was possessed through signature and the people who lived on this land were then swept away and denied support, I would be living this existence of being ignored and pushed away as the earth beneath my feet was possessed by the possessed who only saw their nature as possession as a belief in a need of something to survive and define as relationship, where the real relationship was with self as life, where self as life realized that all that was here was life, meant to support self as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that expression cannot exist between two people when the directive is to create a relationship as self creation definition according to survival within a system that demands being in possession of the projecting of oneself in terms of a limited outlined structure within a game of survival, within this to realize that the being of self within this limited form/structure possesses self to the point where this is what is the director and the thing chased, instead of the self realizing self as life, being supported by the physical to express self as life, which is why disease exists and why disease has not been removed from this earth, as the limited form of profit is the reflection of self abdication as life.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that the design of my survival suit, a collection of believed needed relationships as self definition, are the grid that I follow and adhere to, am possessed by, and am diminished by, as this grid I have created within is what I chase and consume to be and project my survival suit, one and the same, and in totality, this is accepted and allowed relationships that I exist as that burn up and consume my human physical body into an aged burning grid of projection separate from the equality of my self as life to life, which I have denied in fear of loss and desire of gain to live, as I do not understand, as I was not taught/did not accept life, myself as, life one and equal to the substance as what I am that is life.

I commit my self to realizing all relationships as possessions of how and what I define my self as why I am the projection of my self  to survive, to forgive such relationship possessions as the projection of my self, to equalize my to to this human physical body, and earth myself.

I commit my self to realize that to attempt to have a relationship with another person who defines themselves through accepted and allowed definitions as relationships will only lead to conflict and friction, blame and excuse, justification and hiding, clinging and self denial as life, fear of loss and competition for gain, where the gain is the maintenance of personality, personality being a collection of relationships as values separated into a hierarchy, as the present system on earth, as a point of what is believed to be needed to survive.

I commit myself to revealing how personality is a collection of stories depicting more than and less than as a prop/as a grid/ as a survival suit/ as idol possession  manifest as projection in separation from life and self as life, divided and conquered into personas/personalities separate from what self is equal and one to and as, which is life, here, where the physical is the tool to exist one and equal to and as, to be an expression of life, here, to allow eternal life.

I commit my self to stopping the infinite design as possession of persona as mind consciousness system, the limited insight trap that never satisfies as self is not lived existing within polarities where, as is infinite design, the self moves within projections as possessions from negative, to neutral, to positive, eventually existing as only the positive conscious thought projection, where the layers of compounded energetic possessions consume self, as this is what self has accepted and allowed in separation from oneness in equality as self as life, that which is sought that is right here under the emperor’s clothes that is the persona the self follows that is the pied piper, heard in the back chat of the mind, leading oneself to a death - visible through the bent and crooked posture of the aged man as the burden of the self created grid as persona destroys the human physical body - absent of eternal life.

I commit myself to realizing that the rigidness of my human physical body is the constriction of my self as life, where my human physical body is revealing to me the personality I have accepted and allowed in separation from my self as life, where I have separated into energy and relinquished the sound of my self as life.