Day 125 Hiding from Contradiction

Day 125

I talked with a man today about the mind and imagery. At one point, after he had agreed with me that advertising indoctrinates, he then said it  sounded like I was talking about a utopia.

I turned to him and said, yet you admit that advertising indoctrinates, thus the opposite can happen as against what advertising does, as admitting this is being done, means that this need not be done, can NOT be something as it is being something 

His reply, which was an abdication of actually looking, was to say; “Well, I don’t know anything about this area.” This in complete contradiction to what he said previously. Does this make any sense? It does not make any sense, it is deciding to not look at sense. It is an endgame in and as not looking at what is the opposite of what is believed and even admitted to. Incredible.

I get this all the time. This kind of contradiction. It seems that looking at the contra to the diction is ignored, even in the face of common sense.

A clear indication of programming. A clear indication of an inability to think, a clear indication of a con science as imprint of a dictation, where the dictation is not questioned, or even sensed.

Thus no sense, no common sense of what is spoken and actually said is heard, and thus we are not living our words, we are merely regurgitating dictations. This is an action of a robot, and since it is man, made of “organic” matter, then we, the human, are organic robots without any thinking, living, common sense capacity.

I remember asking such questions, well not the asking of the question, but the reaction of the adult, where I was told I did not understand, and that I was being difficult, and often that I was being difficult on purpose. Well, I was being difficult on/with purpose - one could say, but come to think of it what the fuck does that really mean?

My purpose of being difficult was simply asking a question, and obviously the answer was not in the program, so I was being difficult in relation to the program. I was not following the dictation as knowledge and information of set boundaries.

If we have a system, where we know that advertising indoctrinates, what would exist without this, as the admittance of the existence of this, as a force - and a forced thing it is- then what if the/this force were what is best for all? What if this force that we admit to is a/ the voice the dictate of what is best for all? The principle of, give as one would like to receive?

This is just common sense, it has nothing to do with being utopia.

Well, actually, he admitted that the absence of the dictates of advertising would be a utopia. So , thus we know the answer. To take away a emotionally directing system of advertising, would perhaps manifest a world that would be a utopia. Thus, do we all know the answer, we know that what exists is not utopia, and we know that if we take away the dictation self-interested desires propagation,  the way it is presently existing, then this world would become a utopia.

If one takes the time to look, then I am sure a list could be made of what a utopia is, without the wants, needs and desires presented by advertising.

A roof over one’s head, food on the table, and clothes on our backs. The basics. This alone would change this world. There is no reason why this is not given to everyone. There is no excuse why this is not what all life here has, as this planet cannot be owned by anyone, unless  we accept and allow it, especially since we do not understand what life is, or this planet would be cared for, as an indication that what is here is valued, as understanding something means to realize what it is, as can be seen with what advertising is, an indoctrination, thus unacceptable, as what is being indoctrinated is not caring for this world.

This is so simplistic. Denial is just plain ignorance, non-looking, abdication of self as life, and thus all life, since life is what we are, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the denial character, where I contradict my own findings and then refuse to see my own realizations thus abdicate myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to deny understanding the moment i face my own realizations in accordance with knowledge that what exists in this earth is unacceptable.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become ignorance when a question is asked that would have me look at what it is I have stated that is a criticism of what is here, and yet to see the opposite as a means suggests a utopia, where it is assumed that utopia cannot exist and thus is presented as a pipe dream, ending any further discussion.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is understood that what exists is a form of indoctrination, and thus, within this, to actually stop and look at this process of indoctrination, and to look at what would happen if this indoctrination were taken away, is conceptually a twist unable to be made, which makes it clear that there is something amiss in an ability to actually look and question what is the nature of the human in and as this world existent in a system of inequality and thus the cause of abuse that is being accepted and allowed, making all that have roofs over their heads, and food on their tables and clothes on their backs, and televisions in their homes, essentially no different then men, such as Hitler, for the abuse that exists, as what those who have are in essence doing is not looking at what exists on this planet, and choosing to not look and deconstruct what is the broadcast of this system, that is a diversion, as the very thing dividing the human from actually looking at what it is, that is the force, that stops the movement of men into supporting life as the value on this planet.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in many of the things I speak, there are obvious contradictions and yet when questioned, I become ignorant, play ignorant, as this would mean I have to, in common sense, see my own accepted and allowed contradictions, which are in essence contradictions against life, as what is what presently exists on this planet in the amount of abuse to other life forms.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry with the messenger, the person asking me to face my own contradictions.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and to see, realize and understand that I have accepted set paradigms to the extent that I have become habituated to my own conversational statements, accepted and allowed, where I am in essence hiding behind a set of answers and phrases that should I be questioned to go beyond these set phrases, I become agitated and irritated, not realizing that in fact what is happening is that I am having to step outside of what is a habituated comfort zone of my own allowances in survival stance to get along and to go along, where the very need to “get along and go along” is a stance of non self directed being-ness, and thus an indication that I have accepted ignorance in favor of survival, an act that perpetuates abuse on this planet.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this limited and assumed interaction of statements as conversation, are in and as themselves a state of stagnation that hold those in this world in a state of stagnation, as those that have the time to converse statements of accepted limitation are the ones who perpetuate the state of this world in abuse through non movement as self in the words spoken, those speakers of such become irritated when contradictions are revealed, as this is not the being of self as life, but self hiding in ignorance of what self has accepted and allowed to exist despite obvious contradictions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not bear witness to what exists in this world, through purposely choosing to not face obvious common sensical contradictions.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is my survival suit.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that to say something is not my area of expertise in a system that is obviously not caring for life, is to say that the so called experts are taking care of this world, when in the face of this reasoning and the state of this world, clearly, the so-called experts are not experts or this world would contradict what presently exists, thus there are no experts in a system of inequality, or the abuse on this planet would no longer exist.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to  realize that despite all the supposed education that exists for those with money, the problems of this world are increasing, and yet I choose to say when asked to face my own contradictions, in a stance of ignorance, that I cannot know something, because i am not an expert, a simple hiding of my own common sense as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all contradictions must be walked through and faced to bring myself back to what is real, to understand that what has been accepted on this earth has been done by the human not facing what has been accepted and allowed, and that until the human faces itself within accepted and allowed beliefs, opinions and ideas of no follow through, the abuse will be what grows and not the resolution of the separation from self as life in common sense of what is physically here and how this physical world in fact functions.

I commit myself to researching what exists on this planet, as what is here, as the present system of not supporting life and if I look to my own words and my own beliefs, opinions and ideas, that are judgements in self interest as my own survival suit, I will see, realize and understand, as I already know, what it is that I am in fact accepting and allowing that is not supportive of life here.

I commit myself to realizing that it has been said many times on this planet by different men who have realized the inequality that exists, that the answer is to give as one would like to receive, and thus the answer to this world, this life, is to stand and support a system that supports all life, as life is the value, an equal money system that gives as this earth gives, to be life and give life as what one is, to thus become the receiver and giver of life here, to become a professional life giver.

I commit myself to becoming a virus as the living word, to upset the contradictions and face the storm of the discord against life through the practice of pointing out contradictions against life, to plant a seed, as a virus, in the minds of the human, to remove the survival suit that will not protect against the growing abuse that is the outcome of a system of inequality manifest as a profit based system that uses money to create a pyramid of more than and less than in contradiction to a freely giving earth.

I commit myself to no longer being shocked by the obvious use of hiding within such statements as, this is not my area of expertise, and to breath, and to face the words spoken, such as a disbelief in utopia, where in fact it is admitted that the removal of something would cause a utopia, and the belief, as what has been taught, that such cannot exist is just that, a belief, where facing the contradiction leads to an outcome of utopia, and thus what has been walked is the answer, that which need only be accepted as the answer is right here, right in front of us, only needing to be practically walked, in and as taking what is here and supporting all life through the principle of giving as one would like to receive, of which an equal money system is the means to begin to implement the support of all life.

I commit myself to no longer hearing, in and as conversation, the limitations of the mind, as the voice of fear and hiding only and  becoming one and equal to life, the giving as one would like to receive which means walking through accepted and allowed statements of contradiction.

I commit myself to no longer fearing the very substance of what is here, as all that is here is life, and thus the very substance of what i speak, as the words i voice, are the gift of life and thus can be aware as myself of obvious contradictions and thus face such limited insights, and mold what is here through common sense into and as the words I speak, as the very substance of life, to what supports all life in consideration of all life as what is here as being one and equal to me and thus able to be the voice of self responsibility as life one and equal through the relevance of exposing contradictions, leading to the outcome of a utopia,  where in common sense a system of equality, of giving as one would like to receive, becomes the diction of being one and equal as life.

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Earth's Journey to Life

Desteni

Destonians

Day 114 Everyone is talking about relationships

Day 114

Everyone is talking about their relationships

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the gossip within relationships.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feed relationships in and as images and ideas in and as my mind in separation from what is actually physically here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to dream, to imagine a future based on my past that is the moral of right and wrong and not a relation to what is actually physically here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel the need to support relationships, which no matter what is a form of gossip in separation from what is actually here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to the stories of relationships within and as others’ weave of successful actions as what is believed to be real as the stories of relations made in and as their minds in separation from what is actually physically here, the real stage as the physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare my self and thus be the act of judging myself as I listen to the stories of others, to fear connecting with them, to fear facing their crying games as I fear facing my own, as it means I will have to give up all my relations made that support myself as what I believe myself to be, all in separation from what is actually physically here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an idea that dealing with other people is hopeless, not seeing realizing and understanding that all actually desire to be here, but the means and the methods are of taking one from here, instead of supporting one in actually being here, one and equal to this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the answers are right here in and as the physical and yet I keep seeking answers within the imagery of the mind, where no answer exists as this is not what is real -what is physically here, as within the mind I can imagine outcomes where what I fear is not faced, my allowed hopes in  separation from here, in being here I must face what has been accepted and allowed that does not support the actual understanding of the forms of what is here physically,

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in not facing how the forms of what is here physically “fit” within and as the nature of themselves, I allow abuse to life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all the behaviors I exist as are an abdication of myself in standing up for and as life, as what is physically here that is real, where my own emotional tantrums are myself wanting what is here to work, yet the present system of division and conquer to accumulate more for a few has forced earth into a pyramid, like a angular shape into a round shape, and thus this does not work, cannot work, will not work, as this is not working with what is real, and instead imposing and distracting what is real, causing abuse to life because some believe they deserve more than others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to become a character of self pity, where I allow myself to not see what is actually physically here, life handed to me as me, where I do not accept the gift of life given as I allow limited ideas to be my friends instead of being one and equal to what I am one and equal to, as life, which is this actual physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to image things into and as characters, built on stories, as ideas with signifiers of value attached to personas instead of realizing life here as the value..

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my character projections onto myself and others are reflections of relationships made where I no longer see  the movement of life as oneness in equality as expression.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this image world of layered characters is a game of illusion hiding a fear of survival, hiding myself from being the directive principle of myself as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from what is here into and as some compounded layered drama in and as energy to justify what I fear facing that is here, as what i believe myself to be.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as a middle class person, I fear losing what has been “dished out to me” to such an extent that I fear any change within and as the system, creating complacency within and as myself, and a desire to not look at what is actually here, as this would mean that I would have to change.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as a middle class person in America, I am essentially a Hitler, as I chose to maintain a status quo that does not support life, all life, as I fear losing what I have, not realizing that this is the cause of abuse within and as this world, where in accepting a system that is not supportive of ALL life, I am, as Hitler, supporting a system that is filled with justifications as to why I choose to not do what is necessary to provide the basic needs for a dignified life for everything on this planet, where I need alcohol and drugs to keep the life of me shut down, as were I to stand and to look, it would mean I would have to change, and as I have shut down my heart with many forms of drugs, of which entertainment is one, I can no longer see what is real, and thus I am in fact not living life but rather hiding in the gossip of imagined relationships in and as my mind, the same as the soap operas of drama I watch on the television and in the movies, and read in the best selling novels to maintain a sense of being a good character through merely thinking I am good because I have good thoughts, where thoughts are smoke and mirrors and have no actual physical support so evident in the fact that abuse exists in this earth, the majority of this earth, where I am told this with videos made by those willing to look, and yet I refuse, and thus I am as Hitler in passively allowing the abuse that exists on this earth, unless I stand and support a system that shares what this earth gives freely as is the nature of life, yet I hide in a system of inequality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there can be no real life until the organism of this earth as life is functioning to full dignified/supported capacity, as all are me and I am them, thus I as this middle class person will go nowhere until this is cleaned up, and this is what i will leave for the children to come unless I stand and become life here, become what is real, interacting with this physical world instead of ideas, beliefs and opinions in and as my mind.

I commit myself to removing the veils of drama as character outplay in and as my mind, in separation from life, through stopping the gossip in and as the mind between the divisions of persona I accept and allow as my survival suit, to stop the energetic expression of these characters in and as myself, where I believe the illusion of choice, and accept the drugs of this world, and I stand and realize there is no life until everything on this earth is cared for as life.

I commit myself to realizing that hiding is like placing myself in a closet, to gather dust where I decay under the weight of the dust that accumulates in my rejection of myself as life.

I commit myself to realizing that all the pacifying drugs of this system of inequality, such as alcohol, pharmaceuticals, floride, entertainment, stories, novels, competitive sports, hunting,  are all in separation from myself as life, are myself not standing up as life and directing myself as life, but are directives within ideas supporting characters, such as a macho kendoll man, or a cinderella, or an intellectual, or a guru healer, or or or or, where the sensitivity to life, as this physical world is not developed, and instead an idea of how one should appear, all supporting a system of inequality through limited polished presentations that do not consider all life.

I commit myself to realizing that all gossip is about maintaining relationships, within as the voices in and as my mind, and without in judgement of others, both actions one and the same, done in self interest as my survival suit, where I believe I have the choice to not look at what is physically real as abuse within and as this world, myself existing in abdication of life here.

I commit myself to realizing that I must stand up and support an Equal Money System, to take what is of no signature of ownership, and distribute it to support all life, as I will not and cannot become life until all that is here is this earth is supported as life, in dignity as what it is, where in fact I am the cause of cancer through what I accept and allow as a system of inequality that does not support life.

I commit myself to realizing that the development of memory, through education and the imposition of “right” action as character by parents in order to survive within inequality, is the process of my mental gossip development and the separation from myself as life into and as mind and not myself becoming and being one and equal to this physical world where I am a living word and not a gossip in and as my mind.

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Earth's Journey to Life

Day 48 Personality: the NO-I-SE-e self sound.

Day 48 My Personality: the NO-I-SE-e self sound.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to define myself according to relationships,where the relation to something defines who and what I am, to the point where I feel that losing that relation means the end of my self here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear being single which is a belief that I am somehow less than another because I am single, where the word single means, within this culture, that I am “available” and that I am alone as though I am not my self unless I have a relation to another person, as in being in a relationship.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to allow relationships to be an indicator of what I am, instead of realizing that it is how I direct my self in every moment that determines my self here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to cling to relationships in fear that something could be lost, when it is the being of my self here, as how I am within what I do, as in the being of my self here that signifies my self as an expression of life, as this is what I am, and that I am life and all that is here is life requires no relationship as I am here, thus it is the very being here as my self that is, no relationships needed as defining who and what and how I am, so the expression of my self here varies and is determined by the environment, where this earth is the environment, and thus how this earth is organized determines the expression of me as what I am, which is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my furniture to define who and what I am, where should I lose my furniture/house,  something of my self would be lost, yet this furniture/house cannot define, be what is the value, as the value of my self is life, where if I possess - meaning own- and defend what furniture I have I become a defender of furniture, as possessor of furniture/house as the expression of my self, where all that I allow my self to exist as is the defense of possessions.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that this being of my self as possessive of things separate from me to define me is in fact myself not being here and living, and within this to realize that the present system on earth is a reflection of what I as within have accepted and allowed, where I am caught in a trap as what i have allowed within, to exist in a system where I require an education to get money and cloak my self in certain objects in order to maintain a place within a hierarchy in order to survive, and were I to be born in a country of great resource, where the resource was desired by those only considering their own survival to the point where the resource was possessed through signature and the people who lived on this land were then swept away and denied support, I would be living this existence of being ignored and pushed away as the earth beneath my feet was possessed by the possessed who only saw their nature as possession as a belief in a need of something to survive and define as relationship, where the real relationship was with self as life, where self as life realized that all that was here was life, meant to support self as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that expression cannot exist between two people when the directive is to create a relationship as self creation definition according to survival within a system that demands being in possession of the projecting of oneself in terms of a limited outlined structure within a game of survival, within this to realize that the being of self within this limited form/structure possesses self to the point where this is what is the director and the thing chased, instead of the self realizing self as life, being supported by the physical to express self as life, which is why disease exists and why disease has not been removed from this earth, as the limited form of profit is the reflection of self abdication as life.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that the design of my survival suit, a collection of believed needed relationships as self definition, are the grid that I follow and adhere to, am possessed by, and am diminished by, as this grid I have created within is what I chase and consume to be and project my survival suit, one and the same, and in totality, this is accepted and allowed relationships that I exist as that burn up and consume my human physical body into an aged burning grid of projection separate from the equality of my self as life to life, which I have denied in fear of loss and desire of gain to live, as I do not understand, as I was not taught/did not accept life, myself as, life one and equal to the substance as what I am that is life.

I commit my self to realizing all relationships as possessions of how and what I define my self as why I am the projection of my self  to survive, to forgive such relationship possessions as the projection of my self, to equalize my to to this human physical body, and earth myself.

I commit my self to realize that to attempt to have a relationship with another person who defines themselves through accepted and allowed definitions as relationships will only lead to conflict and friction, blame and excuse, justification and hiding, clinging and self denial as life, fear of loss and competition for gain, where the gain is the maintenance of personality, personality being a collection of relationships as values separated into a hierarchy, as the present system on earth, as a point of what is believed to be needed to survive.

I commit myself to revealing how personality is a collection of stories depicting more than and less than as a prop/as a grid/ as a survival suit/ as idol possession  manifest as projection in separation from life and self as life, divided and conquered into personas/personalities separate from what self is equal and one to and as, which is life, here, where the physical is the tool to exist one and equal to and as, to be an expression of life, here, to allow eternal life.

I commit my self to stopping the infinite design as possession of persona as mind consciousness system, the limited insight trap that never satisfies as self is not lived existing within polarities where, as is infinite design, the self moves within projections as possessions from negative, to neutral, to positive, eventually existing as only the positive conscious thought projection, where the layers of compounded energetic possessions consume self, as this is what self has accepted and allowed in separation from oneness in equality as self as life, that which is sought that is right here under the emperor’s clothes that is the persona the self follows that is the pied piper, heard in the back chat of the mind, leading oneself to a death - visible through the bent and crooked posture of the aged man as the burden of the self created grid as persona destroys the human physical body - absent of eternal life.

I commit myself to realizing that the rigidness of my human physical body is the constriction of my self as life, where my human physical body is revealing to me the personality I have accepted and allowed in separation from my self as life, where I have separated into energy and relinquished the sound of my self as life.