I was reading this passage, and I noticed that I had skimmed the word ‘ practice.’ I went back and re-read the sentence and it was as though I could see a film over this word, like a glitch because in all reality, in all common sense, that word on that page, is the word ‘practice.’ A word on a page, cannot project some imagery! It had to come from me. I was the source of my ‘ ignoring’ into some fuzzy logic. I was the one who had the capacity to imagine. I was the one with a memory, not that piece of paper, unless there is some great conspiracy behind pieces of paper, and somehow the government has buried some techno-logical device in that piece of paper and it can project some smoky mirror show! Don’t think so, it would cost too much. lol Our taxes would be even higher than they already are! I digress. Excuse me.
Here, I write out what was within and as that ‘ film ‘ of my own acceptance and allowance, as my memory, clouding my perception of a simply measure, as that word ‘ practice.’
I have spent hours practicing an instrument. At times, when forced, this became a tedious thing for me to do. It also had a pressure, because I had to learn this or that within a specific amount of time, and I focused on the amount of time, becoming a definition in those moments of ‘ having a specific amount of time instead of being practical and living here, using the space and the time to simply focus on what i was directly doing in that moment. And, because I am so absorbent and have memory, I become what I allow as the very inner ‘ reaction’/acceptance/state-of-being ‘ in that moment; it stays with me because it is an experience that my sub-conscious re-members as me. Such experiences as judgement, remain with me until I clear them up, correct them until they are clear.
Thus, within practice, as in practicing, I began to realize that if I practiced a certain way, with a value judgement from the day before, that ‘ tenor’ as that quality, as that state of being, remained and was there the next day I practiced. I had to see this, let it go, when I had a performance, for example, and move through this. I even, at times, had to practice something more than it took to learn this in the first place, when I had rushed, or practiced with some kind of attitude, because i had to remove that ‘ attitude’ which was a judgement brought in as a value I imposed on what I was doing, until that ‘ attitude’ was removed. I created more work for myself than was necessary. And, this can happen from many angles about many things. We are all doing this when we have any measure of spite and blame, justification, resistance, to and towards anything that we do in life. Thus, we can see how such can accumulate within us, to the extent that we have children who have such chaotic sub-conscious mind ‘ measure’ that they are having a very very difficult time functioning in our reality, our physical reality. The good news is that this can be cleaned up, resorted, deconstructed and reconstructed. The tools are here, they are self forgiveness, writing it all out, and sell corrective application. This is what I am doing here, within this word practice.
Back to this word ‘practice.’
I notice that when I have to do physical ordinary steps/things/tasks that I become heavy as though these things are tedious, or ‘ too much’ - which is a judgement because a cup is a cup and that cup was made of clay from somewhere in the world, resourced by hands or machines, or a combination of both, placed in/on some transportation vehicle, moved to some processing system, then molded, baked, polished, boxed, transported, sold, taken home, and then used- and so on until it returned back into particles. All of this a practical action where the physical piece was how it was, and that defined it in the moments. Value judgements cannot change this, they are ideas, beliefs, and opinions, that are a meta-physical construction. Value judgements are a mind consciousness construction, they are not real. Yes, one could point out a value about something, this is calling something by its name because men use language to communicate. Other than this, having a memory, that makes one thing more than another is being within a value judgement, when a value is brought forward that has no practical measure.
For instance, if one values a Victorian style cup because one was surrounded by this in one’s youth and found comfort in that style, and/or related that to the moral measure of one’s upbringing, to the point where when one walks into a home of same object value tied to a morality, and then deems that person to have ‘ value’ one is essentially living as a mind consciousness and not in common sense of reality. This state-of-being is an imposed imagery in separation from reality, and it becomes a carrot on a string as one’s value system projecting a lesser directive that is in separation from physical living. It is an ignorance, one that is done in self interest, because this ‘ television’ - which is what it is- is so occupying and happens over time and is supported by immediate family/friends/associates that one, through habit, misses reality, because that inner reality is believed to be real. To live, one must be here, in common sense of what we are, which is physical states-of-being. Simple really. The complication comes from a metaphysical imposition as a mind consciousness on reality.
When I missed the word ‘ practice’ I experienced my own mental construction of values being placed on reality. I created it through accepting and allowing this mental metaphysical moralistic projection, I am a ghost create, and that ghost has no real substance, it is a burden I accept and allow.
Within this word, I notice that I believe that practice is tiresome/burdensome/ tedious, because I am rushing in my mind as an idea. In this I think/emote that practice takes too much time and I have other things to do. I cause my own demise! I notice that in doing other physical things, that I find them tedious. I look too much towards the end, and do not enjoy and sense the means to the end. I then lose care, and do not give what I do in a moment due diligence. All of these judgements accumulate and become an mind construction within and as me, as my thoughts, and these come to direct me, to stifle my own natural ability as a physical man in a physical world to perform with ease and with efficacy. Ironically, if one takes the time to investigate, our present structural world system is a reflection of what each does within, that has accumulated over time.
I write out self forgiveness to remove my separation from being practical, so that the practice of myself here as a physical being is equal and one to life, this life, a physical life.
I also notice a fear of loss, that if I do not get something done fast enough, as an idea, then will lose something. The irony here is that when I have practiced in a focused and ‘ at ease’ way, I get what I am doing done much much faster. Thus , the means is always right here in front of me. lol
This understanding makes it very easy forgive others, and to become self directive in a practical application. So, self forgiveness is not difficult when one begins to understand the benefits of being present without judgement, and how creative we each are, and how great our ability to be critical in constructive ways is our real natural state of being. It is to say, there is no ‘ wrong’ there is only directives that self-empower one to be self responsible, leading to self trust, self honesty, and self confidence. The veil is thin, and reality is right here in front of us. And yes, because this has been allowed by each human to exist, it is going to take time to correct. Each must forgive the hue as a mind consciousness and realize that the greatest hue is life, and life is right here in front of us, we need only accept it and allow ourselves to be who we really are; men.
I write self-forgiveness to clean up my acceptances and allowances around the word ‘ practice.’
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to skim the word ‘ practice.’
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and, within realizing that I have accepted and allowed a morality of limited values ( as not all are ‘ bad’) to separate me from being practical here, within and as reading the word ‘ practice.’
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect the word ‘ practice’ to tediousness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define the word ‘ practice’ within tediousness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the word ‘ practice’ and from tediousness through defining the word ‘ practice’ within tediousness in separation from myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit my expression as life, my presence, my potential as life, within creating a meta-physical construct of value judgements about walking physical ordinariness as what leads to extra-ordinariness within practicing as walking myself into awareness of what I do in a practical way.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a walking memory of value judgement projections.
Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to to separate myself from life, from recognizing physical reality, to in essence bring my heaven down to earth, my memory within to the world around me as the without, to ground myself here, in practical application of my natural ability to focus here, and move in respect of physical reality to live a life in full potential expression, being grateful in practice through the application of respecting all life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to impose a meta-physical construction of value onto the action of practicing the means to an end, as in practicing a musical instrument, slowing myself down, imposing a burden that is of belief, that is an action that separates me, through occupying my focus o value judgements as ideas about something, all of this in separation from being direct and efficient in what I do and how I live here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how much I project onto things, to the extent I lose my ability, spatially, to be present, manifest as so many little things, little movements that show me the extent of my separation, such as tripping on stairs, dropping a glass, bumping my car onto/into another car as I have no presence here of the space around me as this physical world as my meta-physical construct of and as a morality composed of value judgements has accumulated over time and separated me from being present here, and I make mistakes as a consequence of my own accepted and allowed loss of spatial awareness, which in all common sense should have increased over time, over the life of myself here, as myself as a man being present and respectful and thankful of life, meaning to focus here, equal and one to and as the physical world, as all that exists is life, as the physical is life in expression here.
I forgive myself to not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the weight of my separation as a sense of things being impossible, as things taking too long to accomplish, as things being too tedious to ‘ get done.’
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that physical living is too tedious.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to ignore that practical, as in walking/interacting with/ paying attention to what is here as how things are done, which is to walk the order of the physical world to reach/accomplish/get done what are actions that reach an end goal in ways that do no harm and respect all things and as such, focus myself here in space, to build awareness of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist life, this physical world around me.
When and as I find myself skimming a word, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I check what I project onto the moment here, and I forgive through transforming what I have accepted and allowed as belief, opinion and idea, based on traditions, culture, my own past, as value judgments that have not considered all things, until I am stable here, focused, to become the practice of being focused on the order of life, as the physical world, here.
When and as I find myself in separation as what a reaction is and of, as in this instance within the word ‘ practice’ being a memory as my past as having the quality of being tedious, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I ground myself, to focus here, equal and one with and as the physical world, to become awareness of life, as life is physical, meaning manifested in form and function, of many cells working together to express and create, a perfect machine, the same as me, a physical manifestation of and as life in expression, and as this, I become an awareness of and as life, here.
When and as I find myself projecting a value, or becoming occupied as mind consciousness only, I stop and I breath, and I slow way down, as this meta-physical construct is heavy, like I carry a televised imagery of morality composed of spite and blame, within and as me, that is the source, a self created, through acceptance and allowance, entity that takes away an awareness of physical space, where I lose what I ostensibly seek, which is life.
When and as I find myself believing that something is impossible, I stop, and I breath, and I slow myself down, until I see, realize and understand the burden of my belief/judgement that is my own created separation from common sense of physical reality, and I forgive what covers my gift as life, as my common sense, to ground myself back into reality to be able to move in space as this physical world with ease, building awareness of life, this being the practice of living.
When and as I find myself believing something is tedious, be it that something appears to be too hard, be it that I have a thought as an idea that, for example , ‘ something takes too long,’ or be it that ‘ there would be too much resistance’ or ‘ that I might lose a relationship’ I stop and I breath and I slow way down, and I repeat this until I am stable, here grounded, and I assess, I investigate until I can direct in ways that can withstand the test of time, meaning ways that allow a common sense application composed of many joyous steps that build awareness in their application, that often is simple and giving as I would receive, meaning allowing the world around me to self-discover a practical step by step application that walks the ordinary into the desired goal as the extraordinary, here.
When and as I find myself becoming uncertain, as what skimming words is and as, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, as I choose life, here, and I walk into awareness of the physical space here, to become equal and one to and as life, to become present here, to accept this present of life, as what and who I am, to practice living, to become the practice of life, equal and one, using the physical world as in, respecting the physical world which is the practice of taking that which is good, meaning to do no harm, and transforming the focus of myself to be present here.
When and as I find myself within and as a sense of unbalance, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I ground myself through focusing here, to sense the space here, until I am stable, and I do so with every breath, in every moment, walking myself step by step into the practice of life, here.
When and as I find myself uncertain, as in skimming, as in procrastinating, as in what separates myself from being present here, as in aware of space here, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I become in parity within this course of life, here. : )
Thank You for Reading!