Walking on Eggshells.
Why do we say, “ Walking on eggshells”? What are we in essence doing when we believe we are walking on eggshells?
I had a conversation with my sister this morning. We talked about family and the personalities in families. What is a personality? It is a measure of belief, idea and opinion. It is a composition of value judgements, of likes and dislikes. It is what we resist that persists. It is what we reject and accept in the order of defining ourselves here on this earth. It is what we are caught within in our thoughts that protect and defend the values we define ourselves as to survive in a world where everyone is doing this. It is the division of ourselves against what is all the same in each one of us; that we are physical bodies on a physical planet where we are as a starting point all the same.
If we are within a mind construct of value judgements about ourselves, about what we believe will allow us to survive, creating a personification, are we busy in that abstraction of reality that was not present when we were born or are we grounded, our heavens down to earth, in reality?
Can we remember what we did yesterday, or this time last year, in detail?
Or, are we so fractured and in our minds only, supporting and defending what we define ourselves as that we are like a scattered, fractionalized, metaphysical imagery, filled with emotional veils one could say is an imaginary projection of values as memories, scattering our focus from reality?
I have to compare this the the infamous Humpty Dumpty child’s story. No one, not any system, not any other person, not a king, or not the king’s men, can possibly put this scattered self back together again. What we in essence do within this game, because it is a game, is walk around our own accepted and allowed scattered selves; we walk around the scattered accepted and allowed mental/memory construct of limited values that we use to define who and what we are, to survive.
The values in themselves are not good or bad, it is the absolute holding onto them, or focus on them that creates a limitation as one protects and defends these values that creates a separation from practical reality. This is overall a form of dis-empowerment. It causes conflict and friction in being present and walking practical steps as how we actually get things done in this physical world. It is why we are in constant judgement, because no two scattered selves can connect completely, leaving us basking in self pity. Look at how we search for groups or affiliations that are equal in measure to our limited measure! Realize the conflicts in family are essentially one’s personality believing that my measure, my memory is not being understood because when one is only existing within that measure, stuck way up there in a limited construction of ideas that needs constant reformation, and thus constant attention and focus, one cannot be present in being aware of that scattered awareness from being present in what is real, which is the practice of being physical.
There is a reason why our children’s stories exist. There is a reason why someone once said, take that which is good and does no harm, two or more in my name is great strength, become the living word. This is a mathematical equation, it is the equation of being grounded and equal to the starting point of who and what we are before we build a memory, and that is the state of physical beingness on a physical planet called earth.
I ask the question in relation to this; Where are you? Are you in a metaphysical mind construct of limited values, in constant conflict and friction with your world, manifest as blame and spite, fear and disempowerment, or are you here, present, at ease, stable and grounded?
Do you feel like you are constantly walking on egg shells when interacting with others that are the same as you?
Where are you, are you in your mind or are you seeing directly here, equal with what you are?
Are your thoughts, words and deeds considering in every breath, in every moment what it is that we really are, physical beingness on a physical planet? In other words, are you grounded in reality?
What would the world become if every one was grounded in reality, in what was real?
Would this not create a world that no longer moved and was enslaved to a scattered and divided self stuck up there in an abstract construction that lost awareness of what real living means leading to so much of the conflicts we see in the world around us on national levels?
How is this related to my conversation this morning?
A family member was upset about another family member not meeting the other’s needs. I suggested to look at some of the personality traits within my family. One is that there is a tendency to become obsessed with groups, as in the group of people one is involved with takes over all of one’s time, to the point where there is no space for family- or less space to the point where having a family interaction is too much within the schedule.
I described how some of my siblings have this characteristic to a greater degree than others. And I suggested to look at how we can become this at times, as the degree to which this happens varies from one to another, and/or changes within certain periods in one’s life. Or, that some realize this and change over time, and others do not.
This was changing the perspective within looking at personality traits that have manifested over time. And, then, from here, to realize how I/each have done this, and to note that yes, it would be cool if there were more flexibility within this tendency to become obsessive about one’s group interactions outside of family. Neither is bad, yet a lack of flexibility within understanding this can cause conflict and judgement within the one wanting the other relationship to exist on a more even keel - so to speak.
My goal was to quiet the emotional reactions, to give some perspective as to how the personality can lack flexibility and how that lack has nothing to do with the person being rejected or slighted as a belief. Here, it is interesting how the mind will deny a perspective presented, through repeating the original measure/thought, and bring in all the past events where the same feeling was lived. This is a form of self validation yet also one looking at the measure one has accepted and allowed so it is not a ‘ bad’ in some respects, and in another sense it must be done because we have to look at what we are saying! Often the perspective from a more grounded awareness, that adds awareness to what one is restating/defending/placing one’s attention into, has to be stated more than once - before the scattered egg shells of values can be grounded into a stable constant change in perspective that builds a greater understanding of how we work within what we have allowed as a scattered self in a memory/mind construction as our survival suits of limited values used to define who and what we are. This demands patience and calm, time and effort.
Bringing this back to myself, I have to ask my self all the time, “ Where am I?” am I in my mind focusing on a value that I defend and protect, a limited awareness, or am I grounded, equal to my breathing, present, here assessing reality, investigating the measure presented not fearing to upset a scattered self, a personality and instead of resisting that measure/value moving into acting in self interest, am I grounding that scattered value becoming equal to it for a moment, realizing it cannot define me and that I can assess those egg shells spread out and focused upon only, and instead seeing the patterns, using my awareness , my presence to evaluate the ‘ pieces’ and placing them in the context of what I really am as a physical beingness on a physical earth? Yes, I can do this, we all can do this because we are life. It will take practice, it will take forgiveness, it will bring me/us back down to the value being life.
I suggested, after I assessed what motivated the behavior that was limiting, to realize that none of this is personal, none of this defines the value of the person rejected, because it is the personality as a belief system - and a person being involved in their life from which, yes they could create space and be more flexible - moving in its value system to the point where that ‘ train’ of values does not slow down and realize space and time, as what is practical physical reality outside of that racing measure that is a scattered self that is not all ‘ bad.”
Where am I? Am I lost in a mind consciousness of limited values constantly walking on eggshells in fear of upsetting an unstable and ungrounded presence as the same in another of what I myself have accepted and allowed not understanding how this all works, or am I living here, grounded in reality, where my presence has the ability to assess division/separation into conflict and friction as what a separation from what is real would create? Am I using what I am as life, able to critique and create within directing myself in respect of all things, as being focused on what is real, this actual real physical life that is me?
Where are you? Are you in your mind, a mind consciousness only, or are you here
Walk the Desteni I Process to begin your journey to life, learn to understand what thought is, what a feeling is, and what an emotion is. Place your presence back on the ground, become equal and one to life