Day 405 Clyde

My dog from childhood.

I saw a picture of a dog being boiled in water alive last fall and it really got to me. I just could not believe that this existed on earth. And then I remembered that we in  the west boil lobsters alive. So, if we have a big reaction to dogs being boiled alive we need to remember that we are no different. It is only our culture that has decided that a dog is more than a lobster, when both are life and both perform functions in the maintenance of life.

The dog we had when I was a child stopped my mother from spanking me one time. This normally gentle and quiet dog came and growled at my mother in no uncertain terms. It was a sudden change in behavior. And my dog, his name was Clyde, was not going to stand down, he meant it, baring his teeth and growling as he faced my mother. I mean we had been spanked before, but for some reason this time the dog stood up and said, NO!A few years later my parents were traveling and my sisters and i were alone at our summer place. Clyde was with us. We were all in our mid to late teens. Clyde had a tumor on his back that started to grow. There were no adults and we did not have a car, so we did not do anything about the dog and the tumor. Clyde appeared to be normal, he ate and moved around, did not cry. The tumor them opened and flies started to infest the tumor, and suddenly Clyde stopped getting up and lay under this one bush, panting. This went on for a couple of days and then suddenly Clyde was dead.

Normally, when animals die, our pets, we buried them, everyone helping to bury the dog. This time I could not, I could not stop weeping, I could not stop shaking, I was so upset that I was useless. Everytime I think about this I cry. I think I am getting over something and find that I still have a reaction, and with dogs this is the case, I still have a huge reaction to seeing a dog being abused, a dog in pain. If I am in public it takes every ounce of myself to not become the same behavior I had on that day my sisters and I, and our grandmother who lived down the road, buried Clyde.

This photo of this dog in a vat of boiling water, trying desperately to get out, unable to pull itself out because at that point it was in so much suffering and pain it had not the strength to climb out all there was for this dog was the pain, the burning water it was surrounded by with no escape. No human would want this for themselves and humans are as much flesh and blood as a dog, so why do we do to what we are in ignorance that it must be unbearable pain? Why are we allowing pain to this physical earth when we would experience the same exact sensation and not want that?

Having said this, had we taken Clyde to the vet would the tumor had been diminished and removed? Probably not. What might have happened is Clyde would have been sent home and monitored until he appeared to be in pain and then put down. Later as an adult i had an older dog that suddenly had flies laying eggs all over her. The vet came and we could find no indication of anything wrong. I had to carry this big collie in and out of the house because she could barely walk. One night I put her out to eat in the cooler evening air right on the yard right next to the kitchen. I was washing the dishes when there was this commotion on the road. I stopped. My dog had gotten up and walked to the road. The cars had stopped for her - it is a small residential road -  and as she walked she fell under a  stopped pick-up truck ( because she really had a hard time walking ) and the truck ran over her as it started to move again, thinking the dog had passed. Ellie, this dog, died in moments, I managed to get there before the convulsions stopped. I was shocked that she had gotten up and walked, and she had only been a few feet from me. I mean I have window out onto the yard.  What is interesting is that a woman told me a couple of days ago that she had a cat that did the same thing. She knew the cat was not well, and was watching the cat. One night her cat got up, went and lay under the heighbor’s truck. When the neighbor got into the truck and pulled out of the driveway, the cat was run over. THe woman telling me the story said that the cat, as far as she knew, did not have the habit of going to the neighbor’s yard, and had been so ill, had not moved much. My dog Ellie, was basically not moving much, and was being carried around, so did she actually go to the road to fall under a truck with purpose? Even having said this, is this what she wanted or was it simply an act of desperation, knowing her body was no longer functioning and that a solution was not forth coming by humans?

Both of these acts mean that dogs and cats are much more aware than we think. Our judgement that they are not aware is simply an indication of some values being made bigger than others. because a dog does not look a certain way, or have money, or speak knowledge and information without application, means that a dog is less than a human. Because a dog is not making some values bigger than others, means that that dog is less than we are, and therefor can be boiled alive, because it does not have the limited values of a human, means it is not properly feeling life and therefor must not have any feelings. Where does this have any common sense people?

Here, in this world, we have people who place value on a piece of paper, and then greedily take that value and hold onto it to use it to make some values our own through purchasing these values in excess, and then we make this ability to purchase these limited values another value, all in the face of abusing and ignoring this physical world. This is one really messed up, delusional state of being. So, who is more aware, us or that dog? I would say, the dog is more aware than the human. The human is only aware of the game placed on earth of a pyramid scheme that in itself uses limited values as the measure of its worth. And this worth made huge, is destroying this earth. Humans are existing as a limited value system, and thus ignorance. None  of this is acceptable or affective. Our limited value system of how much money a person has, how they look and how educated they are is not taking care of this world.  These limited values are a state of delusion creating an ignorance of life. Our limited values are a state of lack, our minds are the manifestation of our lack, to place it right in our faces so that we see how much we have abdicated life, what is real. And we  are placing value onto a piece of paper and using this to uphold our limited values, ignoring what is real in this process of separation and resistance to reality, the physical and common sense of what works in sustaining this real physical world.

Each of us is doing this within. The singular and thus limited values we hold cannot direct in common sense because they do not include looking at the physical in reality. Thus the ease with which this earth can function is bypassed to serve a lesser god of survival, the outflow of ideas, idols made bigger than life. Meanwhile what is here, as what we are, is a natural ability to take in - we are just selectively taking in limited values - building a inner GPS - with these limited values, to suit an outward system that is the mirror image of what we have accepted within, what is without as this system is the accumulation of ideas made bigger that life, and thus directing us, and thus causing a separation, where we then try and place the idea, as a world system, the melody of each of us, onto this physical world. We are like a program of limited values, limited pictures, and we are only seeing this, and directing ourselves as this, becoming walking whines of constant association making within a limited text.  What the NSA is doing is not different than what each of us as limited beliefs are doing, weaving the past to justify a future, never HERE in fact. The limitations varying by degree, as the levels of word usage and clear understanding each class, as degree, exists as. The perfect system of maintenance for a pyramid scheme. Naturally, whistle blowers will be considered by the grid of this pyramid as being detrimental to this scheme, this limited design, and naturally what the whistle blowers are saying as the outcome of this design is not what is best for all, and is what ends up stagnating and suppressing the ability of each of us as life to be what we are in form and function as life. Thus the pyramid on the horizon as our present system can only see itself, it is lost in a space of limited dimension, warping reality, it is a false idol.  We were told, so there is no one to blame but ourselves.

We have to clean up the within and the without. The within through cleaning up our words and developing the ability to use words, which so many lack. All lack manifests eventually, and instead of pushing it away into prisons and institutions of beating it down , lack must be corrected into self responsibility as life. This means what supports the physical must be given. Therefor giving of earth’s resources must be consistent and constant, as this is what has lasted the test of time, the actual physical world, it is what we all see, it is what is here, it is what is real. Within we must realize our limited values, and how we walk in directives that compare within these limited associations as the very words we speak reveal our limitations, both within what we can describe and the extent of the ambiguity we exist as within understanding - seeing - how what is here actually in fact functions as physical reality. A person cannot be self responsible if they cannot see, and not being able to describe in words what is here, not having the structure within to match the structure without,  limits expression and thus understanding and thus seeing. In so many ways life is so beautifully designed to be life, and yet what we are allowing is really a rejection of life. This is done as judgement, which is what blame and spite is, judgement as it has no directive capacity. We were told to not judge, and here we are bearing the consequences of our judgement as how we are allowing ourselves to inner rest within ourselves as limited values, which is limited development. We are the NSA.

I had to be 14 or 15 when Clyde died, lying there with a huge open tumor on its back, under that bush. Why did I do I wept,  with such self devastation, where I cannot even physically bring myself to pick up the shovel and help dig the whole? I mean, I had  dug a hole before. Interesting that I mistyped whole instead of hole at first. Herein do I see the frustration I existed as, a sense of powerlessness in  “ digging” the whole, in understanding  life, in being able to take a direction to solve the problem of the existence of a tumor in the first place, because , we all know the only real solution is to prevent such outcomes, as they are unacceptable. There is no associative value as a belief that can justify this. Thus there is only the principle of what is best for all.

My weeping was my own frustration, my own inability to really be able to do anything of any real substance. And I did not even have the words to put this into directives that enabled me to stand and look at why this was, and how this needed to change, because I had allowed myself to not look, in a world, as a child, that was not taught to look , to not really look. I was taught to survive, to pay homage to a pyramid scheme on the horizon of a physical earth that gives to support life.

Thus, was I crying for myself, I was crying for myself as life.

It is time for a system change. 

It is time to give up the goating greed of the mark of the beast of separation, of rejection of life, based on fear of loss of an idea that is believed to be more than life, the physical, where the idea is not good or bad, only placed out of contest of physical reality in practice.

Nobody, a no - body as mind, can tell me or anyone else what I/they can know and what I/they cannot know, unless we accept and allowed such ignorance, when the physical world is right here, the gift of life, showing herself/himself as what we are, right in front of us, it is only limited ideas, opinions and beliefs, as what is touted by a system of inequality, to serve what we are all doing, which is accepting and allowing a state of paranoia of unknowing because we, each of us, accepted and allowed an idea to be greater than life, separating ourselves from the nature , as the natural state of life, to give as one would like to receive, to do what is best for all. Had I/we taken the time to investigate, then the prevention of inequality would have been the best cure. 

A lack of full disclosure within the present system is a crime against life. There is nothing that is private, and a system that has access to what every person is saying and doing, and yet, does not fully disclose what it is doing is a form of self interest, blatant self interest. Especially, since this system has not solved the problems within the principle of what is best for all. What is presented is a false general statement as idea only, without any detail as to how such is going to be done. Within this the only choice is to create a system that allows money to circulate to all, as money represents life sustaining resources, and the value created from the labor of men, thus in order for men to labor in full potential, their physical and developmental needs must be a given, absolutely, continuously, within self generative autonomy as what they, we, you, I am as life. Therefor, what sustains as “ righting the human form and function” must be given fluidly as money, as this organizes the distribution of basic needs. Nationalizing the resources will allow this movement, as the costs will only be what enables money to circulate to allow access to basic needs. And thus the price of resources will not be based on competition. This will allow the elite to continue creating products to profit from and remove the never ending game of maintaining a systemic grid that is really the walls of a castle closing in on itself. A Living Income Guarantee will open the castle walls without the loss of the castle itself, and since there will no longer be the need for protection and defense to the extent that it presently exists, there will be more than enough money for the acquired comforts within the castle wall.

I mean,  perhaps there are comforts never imagined because all the top have been doing is living in a state of protection and defense, a stew that just takes longer to cook the flesh into a life never lived, at least perhaps we can show some grace and stop taking the dogs down with us.