Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Day 565 Loss by Association Self Forgiveness

I recently encountered more than once the wrath of a neighbor who is having relationship problems. One encounter was this neighbor saying they hated cats, and the other was that they hated my dog, because she “barked all day.”

My dog is not out barking all day, she has aged and slowed down, and as such, is out with me, and occasionally barks at a passing bike or pedestrian. I try and make sure she does not run out on the road, sometimes I don’t get to her in time. But I would say, of these few times, she barks for about ten seconds.

I realize this person’s behavior does not define me, their emotional frustration being projected onto a dog and a cat, have nothing to do with me. And yet I found myself being disturbed by it.

What I see, is a cultural class value that I learned, that I accepted. It is to blame self for having allowed exposure to another person who behaves in such a manner, like one should make sure that association to such behavior is not a part of one’s life. I mean, this really makes no sense, other than as a moral system to keep one in line with people who have more self control in terms of being responsible for their behavior, and as such making sure that their actions do not lead to consequences that generate such extreme and overt frustration. And to note, we all do this, some with more subtlety and or secretly- as though this makes a difference, when it does not. In reality, this is only comparison within an association that one behavior is okay in one manner and not in another, meanwhile it is the same act, one that overall is a lack of common sense, a lack of self responsibility and respect for the measure of self and the physical world around us as the very expression of life, the gift of life. Until we realize this, we will not have heaven, because heaven can only be brought to earth, and this means existing in common sense of practical reality, physical reality, our within being equal to our without.  This takes the use of the heart more than the ideological halo of a mind moving by association only, building personality.

Which means, in an economical sense, that usury must end as it is a pyramid scheme. It is essentially taking from one to pay another, and then projecting the blame onto the one taken from. We see our American Congress doing this every day, as they scream that the welfare babies are having a free ride, and meanwhile Congressmen are taking, allowing laws in their own self interest, having a life of ease, working very few hours, riding on the welfare of the labor of men, generations of them and teaching that the masters of industry as the one who accumulated wealth being the innovators, when all that was used was the wealth of generations of men and freely given resources as the expression of life. And so, projections of blame and spite are placed on the labor force on the land, and when it does not conform, bombs are dropped, physical bombs, that are punishing an object for not conforming to an individual human being. one that is in separation of common sense of practical physical reality, an idea as mind being allowed greater value than the means of life, which is the physical. This is all really a disconnect from the fabric of creation, which is a separation from the sense and respect of this creation, which is why stopping the mind and learning to move as self as life, as common sense is the birth of self as life. This is why giving up everything as mind as one’s limited associations of value, called judgement, is only a fractured self. What came first, the story of a fractured egg man, or the fracturing itself - and are we doing this to earth? As within so manifest without?

So, it is this, a sense of guilt that on a personal level, I associated with someone who allowed a behavior of projecting emotional frustration built up from actions that were not based in common sense of which the projecting of emotion onto another object is the same.

Two things happen here, this cultural conditioning of associating with such behavior, getting myself into such exposure, and the sense that as a woman, it is my role to support insecurity and want to appease it.

I realize that avoiding such behaviors, like being selective within whom I associate is not an option, and also, that allowing such behavior to exist is also overall not cool, so to not turn into someone who finds a purpose in putting out such fires, because I cannot put out such fires, the person allowing such behavior has to put them out, as only they can, and they have to want to, and as such to grow tired of the anger storm and want it to come to an end.

Also, as a woman, it is not my role to appease such, if asked, yes, to say the anger is pointless because it is projecting blame onto objects and not addressing the source of the anger, that is self generated, especially in the western world of America in the area in which I live. As a human being, for me to appease such as to placate in self interest is unacceptable, as it is more of the same. It is to be gentle but frank and to describe what is going on point blank or to walk away.

It is like I am embarrassed that I exposed myself to such behavior. Perfect cultural conditioning, to keep me in line within a class.

I also realize that I am the same as this neighbor, not in the exact same measure or degree, but that in my life, things are not moving in a way that I want and desire, and that there is back chat in and as my mind blaming the objects around me and blaming the object of myself for my own lack of achievement that in itself means I am not looking at space and time in common sense. As such, the only way out is to start using my common sense of reality, and to stop chasing a metaphysical idea/construct as mind  busy with  distractive association/comparison game play that is obviously not aligned with reality as the physical, as this is alignment in how heaven is brought to earth. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that associating with another who overtly expresses blame through projection as hate and aggravation onto an animal or another object is the fault of myself as having allowed myself to be exposed to such overt energetic reaction of frustration.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that  the sense of guilt I accept and allow is myself fearing that I am not interacting with a class of people who are of a manner that has some small measure of self responsibility, enough to not overtly and with such extreme reckless abandon abdicate responsibility within and as projecting hate and spite towards objects in their environment to allow such objects to  be the cause of their anger, when they are not, as anger is generated by self in separation from common sense, as such separation is self inferior to and as life, which is a state of insecurity, which is fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry myself, like a real snob, in not only with myself for having allowed such to be expressed socially, but also, to fear that this association defines me and pulls me down into a lower rung of the present system of hierarchy, into the “ reckless masses” who have no self control, when in reality, no human has control, because any human with control would realize that common sense development takes opportunity, and basic needs, which cannot be withheld economically, as this as money suppresses life in the self interest of a few, who themselves are projecting a bad onto another, as they themselves take in self interest having projected as mind, a more than, within and as a self definition, all of which is a separation from common sense of practical physical reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this, I am actually projecting a value, or lack of value onto another, blaming and spiting something without for what I am, as having accepted and allowed as mind as idea within.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what I encounter can by association define me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that as a woman it is my responsibility to support the emotional reactions of men, when in actuality, this perpetuates and continues what is a separation from common sense and as such unacceptable.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I tense up within and as me when I accept and allow this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what another allows defines me and that because of such an association I may lose association with people who appear to have what is essentially a small degree of more control, such control being not such overt and reckless reactive behavior but the same.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that allowing myself to believe that I am defined by association means that i have no directive capacity, no will power to define myself as measure myself, as balance myself within and as common sense here, and as such change myself as I judge the measure of another using associative measures instead of focusing here, on practical physical reality and understanding what is real as the physical and transforming myself in enjoyment with and as the physical here, as this is the gift of and as life, the means and expression of and as life, the movement of and as life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that physically I allow energy to build up in my solar plexus and a weight to become what I am physically, coming from my head area, in and as believing that i have been hurt, as I believe that I as a woman am responsible for the very manifestation of and as such behavior, when in reality I cannot change this in another, as each is responsible for what each individual vessel as a human accepts and allows, thus it is to realize that I am responsible for what i accept and allow within and as me, myself, and can only stand as common sense in thought word and deed here, as another must want this for themselves, something that no one can do for another, as each must self realize what each is accepting and allowing as personifications within and as mind.

Within this, when and as I find myself feeling hurt by another, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand within and as listening to my human physical body, where i am allowing the weight of emotions and feelings to consume the presence of me here, the substance formation and resonance of myself here as life, and I standing within common sense as the principle of what is best for all, where in this instance, as with my neighbor, it is to say that projecting hate onto cats and dogs is not going to solve relationships problems and economic problems as the only solution is to face the consequences of one’s actions and to walk the necessary steps to become a practical common sense measure of what it means to be a physical state of being-ness, as this is the expression of and as life here.

When and as I find myself having a sense of guilt by association, I stop and i breath, and I see realize and understand that this need not define me, and that i either walk away, and or speak up in common sense, after the storm of blame and spite have passed realizing it does not define me unless i accept and allow it,  and stating in all common sense that projection of hate onto environmental objects in no way solves problems as it is a practical physical world one where problems are solved in the same way houses are built, through practical physical steps where one thing at a time adds up to the solution, the completion of an endeavor and that within the principle of what is best for all, does one build a sound house, one that can withstand the test of time.

When and as I find myself becoming heavy, physically within and as myself, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that taking things back to self, as realizing projections of hate onto environmental objects, is a process, one that does not fit into the measure impulsed as distraction within our consumerist accepted and allowed environment of immediate gratification and as such there may be times when I speak up and the mind of separation as self definition will react as what we have accepted and allowed to define us we fear losing believing this to be what is real when it is not, and as such to give such limited self definitions up will feel like a death, when it is only a death of separation from life, and as such the gift of giving self back to life to enable one to walk through the eye of the needle in becoming in full understanding with and as the physical which is the way and the means of life in expression as what formation is and does, here.

The only choice is the principle of give as your would want to receive, as this is common sense in practical application. And is not usury what scatters life, as we see happening all around us on earth? Is this what division and conquest is and does?

Matthew 12:30 
Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me SCATTERS. 

Self interest is a scatological behavior in absence of common sense.

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