Day 540 Being a Leader and Being Self Responsible

Being a leader and being self responsible.

I remember when I first went and lived in Europe that I felt overwhelmed by the towns, like the very stones in the cities were filled with stories that were a burden, heavy. I would find solace in nature, under a tree. And I remember asking myself why I found more ease under a tree than I did in a city street, when the tree was around far longer than that city.

In all, though the burden of discord as the past of the behaviors of men, the abuse of labor etc. may be in every measure of stone, to allow myself to be influenced by this, is in itself a rejection of what is basically a story, that is all. I can’t really understand how we got to where we are if I don’t understand the movements that lead to all that is within me, as my reactions and all that is without me, as the world around me.

If I resist, then that which I resist persists, because it is myself rejecting something, which means I am not clear with something to the point where i am at ease. To be at ease, is to have no fear, to be clear in understanding, to realize that I am able to move with what is here, and that I cannot be hurt unless I am not paying attention. Also, at where we are now, as what has been accepted and allowed on earth, there are, in common sense, some things that one does not participate within, because humans have become, basically zombies caught in a web of their own making, that is not a web of support and respect and “ understanding” development of what it means to life as a physical bio-organic entity on this earth, where this physical beingness is a visible and practical expression, as real expression is. 

I remember saying to people when they viewed me as being talented because I played the violin, I would say, no, it has nothing to do with this, it is simply walking the steps and doing it, that is all. In all common sense. But then, this is being responsible. Pretty words are just pretty words, “ real “ words look at what is here, real words are living words, that lead, that give direction, that show development. Real words that do not punish or reward, give direction, give the ability of each human, to become self empowered, self directed, responsible. Thus, leading is giving self empowerment, absolutely. Real leadership, expects no reward, because it understands that the real reward is to direct all that is here, as each human being, the ability to become self responsible.  Because this increases the ability of men to create as each point, as each man, can come together and create a world that enables the whole orchestra to perform, and that it is this that builds a sound of life. So, when we support this physical world, in ways that do no harm, we create a web of life that is in full function, full expression, full potential, because this is how we support ourselves to our fullest.

We need the perspective of every person on the ground, to have the insight needed to understand what supports and builds a planet where every inch is performing as its form allows it. one man’s idea as the mind, cannot possibly realize this, hence the idea of a superman is an impulse to create a dream connection instead of an equal connection to what enables us to exist in life formation, which is the physical world.

It must be understood that every leaf on every tree is moving with the total expression of what is best for all, every turn, every sway, every single movement, it is an absolute purpose of allowing life to express in full potential. When we humans impose ideas onto this, we become separate from this, we become unequal to life.

I have somehow, reacted to misunderstanding as rejection, which means I am expecting understanding without standing consistently as understanding, and as such listening to realize the limitation/rejection/measure/focus cannot hurt me unless I accept and allow it, because as human beings, what we inform ourselves as, is what we become. If our information within is not equal in understanding to that which we are without, then that separation causes an inability to direct ourselves leading to a consequence of instability that develops a lack of self trust. 

When my husband died, I would weep. A very strange sensation to have rivers of water flow from your eyes, to such an extent, that your shirt becomes all wet. This crying is really the shame self faces for not standing equal and one to and as life here. It is the recognition that life is not being lived, and the hurt is really self not living, which self cannot blame anything other that self.

The only way out is to stand, here, equal and one in common sense of practical physical reality, to move within the purpose of realizing that this is it, what we create here, is what we get, and it is the whole of this planet that is to be considered with every breath we take.

As long as I believe I am not being understood due to any measure of loss, and am hurting because of this, I am not here, I am not becoming responsible for what I am within and for the effects of this without because I can only direct as what is best for all if that ease as life is to become what it is that is the I am, as myself as life here. And to realize, that that interaction, that communication, is the expression of myself as life here.

So, when I have an emotion of resistance I look to the belief behind that emotion.

When I feel hurt, I look to what expectations I have had and where I am not being clear about how we as humans are informed and how we have believed that information within to be more real than the physical world of life without.

What I need to exist - besides practical basic needs given what we have allowed to form as life on earth - is myself as life, here, as this is what allows even that fantasy as mind, as consciousness that is what presently exists in men that is not equal in measure to the composition of ourselves which is reality, here which is what enables life. The solution, to equalize ourselves within to create a world without, that is an expression of leading ourselves as life, is to support a Living Income Guarantee, so that we can begin to equalize ourselves to what supports this world in ways that do no harm, because it will allow us to see our own cognitive dissonance, our misinformation,  our chaos, to become what is very simple, ourselves as life in-formation.

Day 108 Replacing the clock with death

My sons are annoyed that their guide as time is no longer on the wall where death is on display.

If we reach death without ever being here, then death as never having lived will be the outcome.

All the unresolved endgames in and as my mind, desires based on a separate reality, the superstition machine that is the mind, where the emotions and feelings follow suit.

And our present system demands this, as we all follow suit to survive through never using our physical conceptual ability - this that is not developed- as we are only given a limited means to follow, as our parents’ actions ( themselves the products of limited selections to survive- to follow what upholds the benefits of a few while most of the world suffers).

I ask myself how do I communicate this. If I need to ask, then I am only a concept in and as the mind and not here, one and equal to this physical world, as this physical world and myself as a physical human body can only see if I am one and equal to what is here, thus if I cannot see and I ask myself this question than I am not here one and equal to this physical world as myself.

When I hung up the skull to replace the clock,  it was to remind me that I am a mind and that death is an outcome, I wanted to catch myself in the habit of looking at the clock. I looked a lot, and never realized how much and how often I would look at the face of time with in and as a system of survival, measuring out the division of myself into limited and stagnant, robotic endgames unable to conceive of the actual physical movement of life surrounding me, as I am lost in the division and not the whole, to stand outside the mind, to scrub the mind clean of imagery through self forgiveness, writing and corrective application towards equality and oneness with this physical supporting world that is what is real.

No one can own this physical world, it is here as us, supporting us. Allowing and accepting what is here to be divided to support only a few is criminal, and the allowing of myself as a parent to monitor my children’s persona’s to fit into this system in such a way, as my beliefs, opinions and ideas, that will enable them to survive, I have shut down/disallowed their very expressions as life, their physical ability to be one with what is here, as myself am not this, as I was not allowed the gift of life, as I live in a system that does not respect life, a system that is lost in an alternate reality of self interest based on an end game that is the stopping of the birth of life into and as the living word, as a secondary limited perception device that utilizes images and me-more-izes them as what is real spreads myself into a stag-nant world where I am constricted in separation from what is real, this physical world.

Thus, through self forgiveness, I bring myself back, one and equal here, with and as the physical to befriend death as the signifier of the end of my separation from life. The opposite of what death is believed to be, and utilized to allow and justify the abuse existent on this earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I have any image in and as my mind, if I take the breath to slow myself down and look I will realize that what is in the mind is a desire as what I have been taught will enable my survival based on the collected characteristics of the generations and parents with whom I used as a guide when I was a child to form myself, where in this self interested survival persona, I separated myself from myself as life, lacking the guidance of common sense and consideration of how the systems in which I must participate uphold/are the castle walls of survival within inequality and lack of consideration for the support of all life as being in fact one and equal to myself here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have judged some of the friends my children brought home as not being supportive of what I perceived was necessary to build a character with the polish of my accepted and allowed beliefs learned from my parents as to what my children should “look” like as presentations to ensure their survival within a system I had not fully considered in common sense of what was best for all as being the only choice.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have worried about how my children were “looking” as a persona in fear that they would miss the proper development as this being what I had accepted and allowed would enable them to survive and be able to fit into the system within a certain level on the hierarchy to exist without struggle to supply themselves with their basic needs and then some.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have seen, realized and understood that the options for them were limited, and that, within this system what was catered to was what support the profit of a few and not what enable all life to become one and equal, able to express and communicate with clarity and within this interact without fear and competition, but instead allow what is here to expand in awareness of self as life, as becoming one an equal to the expression of life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize how my ideas, beliefs and opinions where in support of my very own accepted and allowed separations into and as character/personality to support inequality with life, where I was becoming the voice of time, survival and competition instead of a living word as life here, being one with what is actually physically here as a real “movie” of “whole”/common sense.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have allowed myself as a parent to have perpetuated the atrocity of separation from what is actually physically here, where the resources of this earth are used and abused without any regard for the nature of the form of what is here, to be forced into and as practices of profit instead of what is best for all, as the form tells the physical reality of the nature of the being as it exists here on this earth, and thus this system of profit does not consider the expression of life, and only takes life and abuses it to fit the form of self interest for the survival of the few to life themselves within a form in separation from their nature as life as the dream of the mind is propagated as what is real as what is the end game, and not what is actually physically real here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand, to take the breath time to equalize myself with and as what is physically, really here, to face the shame of what I have accepted and allowed, and then to let this go, to stand one and equal to this physical world, as this is the only choice, to bring about a world that is best for all working one and equal to the very form of this physical world, that can support all life in dignity here, where the only thing stopping this is the embedded beliefs, opinions and ideas written in text books by those who are the act of self interest survival/competition to maintain their control of unequal resource distribution in and as a belief that should they lose this control there will be nothing there to support them, when this physical world is here in and as the support of life as this is life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the imagery of the mind has been made so huge it presents the illusion of conceiving the whole impossible, when all that is really happening is that this illusory memory/picture/movie is separation from the whole, thus is self forgiveness, writing and corrective application the means to diminish/make smaller this “godlike” idol as imagery,  to see realize and understand the end game as fuzzy logic of limited insight as consequence outplay within the totality of existence as what the mind is in fact, evident in and as the non-use and thus abuse of life on earth as what is within the present conditions of earth and what is being taught to children to support a system of competition/survival to the children, perpetuated by previous generations in and as parents.

I commit myself to standing as the living word through supporting a system of equality in and as an Equal Money System that is the process of equalizing, within best practices, to allow all life to become self as life as the living word, as an absolute expression and support of life, as self, as what is best for all.

I commit myself to no longer supporting a system  that diminishes the expression of life and instead supports the movement of life in common sense of the whole, realizing that what is best for life is best for self.

I commit myself to stopping all energetic mirages of image, thought, emotion and feeling to be the false god of my perception and to bring all personifications as characters back to self, as this is not myself being here, one and equal to life, to what is real to become and exist one and equal to what is real, the real “movie/story” of actual physical reality, to realize that all that is here is one and equal to myself, is myself.

I commit myself to communicating with common sense of what is physically actually real, with what is freely given as the gift of life, realizing the only existential loss is the action of myself within and as energy manifest in separation and thus friction and conflict as discord in relation to my outer world representing my own desires, wants and needs within self interested persona/character maintenance inconsiderate of what is best for all.

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Equal Money System

The Soul of Money Divide and Conquer

Day 69 Unworthiness as reaction to Irritation

Day 69 Unworthiness as reaction to Irritation

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become reactive to irritation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take confusion and irritation, as cognitive dissonance personally.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to irritation and cognitive dissonance, where I looked only at the emotion of this behavior/response and reacted instead of realizing irritation as cognitive dissonance, where, as the word suggests, there existed a misunderstanding or deconstruction of belief, opinion and idea, and within this the irritation had only to do with a process of realignment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become reactive to discord, irritation, cognitive dissonance, to the point where all I looked at was the emotion and not the words being spoken and within this direct myself as what is best for all, meaning giving what was actually happening a directive within the principle of what is best for all: within this it is easy to see that a child does not have the verbal capacity and development to be able to realize that adult irritation is a limited mind in cognitive dissonance existing within values indoctrinated to survive within a system of inequality, a system of profit, which has been going on for generations.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become submissive within this, in self pity, that I had done something wrong, not realizing that I was creating a belief within myself that I was unworthy and unheard, when in fact all that existed, as indicated by irritation, was a cognitive dissonance that simply required a common sense directive within what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that all that was needed was to stop and breath, look in common sense of what is best for all, and use the capacity of myself here, as a human being, to realize a directive that is within the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to  realize that, as a child, I was not trained to do this, and instead taught the roles of a woman, to be submissive and to develop myself in accordance with what enabled my survival within a system of limited design to support a system of money usage for profit for a few instead of money/resource usage that support the value of life as this physical world as what is real.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that irritation is cognitive dissonance, and thus a moment where the mind must review what has been accepted and allowed as belief, opinion and idea, and deconstruct to include a new view point and that this can cause a moment of  disassociation from accepted and allowed patterns, where, within this, a direction can be given that is within the principle of “giving as you would like to receive” instead of what serves a profit based system that has caused an existence on this earth where many lack the basic necessities to live a life in dignity, thus is causing irritation  a natural consequence of changing the habits and beliefs that support a system of inequality, a system that is showing the human how ineffective it is in supporting life, with the amount of abuse to animal, plant, soil and human, manifesting as the rapid depletion of earth’s resources and unacceptable living conditions on earth at this time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that I developed my own feelings and emotions of unworthiness, begun in childhood as I was not taught to direct myself within the principle of what is best for all, or taught that as a human I am capable of being trained to use my human physical body, to work in tandem with this physical world and develop myself in ways yet unknown with a system that dis-allows human development in favor of preparing humans through family, education ,media, to serve a system of profit for the few, evident in the frustrated behaviors manifesting on earth at this time, where people are killing their children, eating other humans, where soldiers are committing suicide and children are being bombed by remote control to allow a few to have control of earth’s resources, resources given unconditionally by this physical world to support life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that this pattern I have accepted and allowed is in this moment constricting my lower back and causing constriction to flow down into my legs as I fear speaking within and as my writing that I am somehow not speaking clearly enough, where I spin around in and as my mind looking for a way out and cannot find one, as my mind operates in singularities and cannot see what is best for all, which means I have become that which I fear.

I commit myself to breathing, to stopping the allowance of myself into and as fear.

I commit myself to realizing that fear is an energetic possession within my human physical body as myself in separation from myself where the only choice is to breath and direct myself within the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to realizing all images in and as my mind are showing me how I have separated from myself and thus are not real, only energetic possessions I am allowing to draw my attention away from what is physically here and real.

I commit myself to revealing that this is what is happening to our children where we label this as ADD and ADHD, where parents of these children take schools to court to demand a private/special education not realizing that it is the parent that has developed this very inability to focus on what is actually here as what the child exists as, and therefor in taking the schools to court, are the parents abdicating their responsibility and wanting a system - the very accepted and allowed system that is one and equal to the cause of the lack of focus in the human- to take responsibility for their child.

I commit myself to not allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am unworthy, and realizing that reacting to irritation and discord necessitates a corrective action within utilizing the principle of what is best for all, where practice in giving direction instead of allowing reactions as defense, spite, blame, insecurity, wanting to win,  and fear of loss are not an action of resolution to and towards the principle of what is best for all, the principle of giving as one would like to receive.

I commit myself to revealing that the method of operation within this present system, through media, family and education, suggests that the human is programmable, and thus the human is able to realize that this present system of inequality is not the natural state of life, as it needs constant broadcast to perpetuate it’s propagated desires, wants and needs, to support the few, and thus can this world be changed to a world that supports life, a heaven on earth.