Day 69 Unworthiness as reaction to Irritation
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become reactive to irritation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take confusion and irritation, as cognitive dissonance personally.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to irritation and cognitive dissonance, where I looked only at the emotion of this behavior/response and reacted instead of realizing irritation as cognitive dissonance, where, as the word suggests, there existed a misunderstanding or deconstruction of belief, opinion and idea, and within this the irritation had only to do with a process of realignment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become reactive to discord, irritation, cognitive dissonance, to the point where all I looked at was the emotion and not the words being spoken and within this direct myself as what is best for all, meaning giving what was actually happening a directive within the principle of what is best for all: within this it is easy to see that a child does not have the verbal capacity and development to be able to realize that adult irritation is a limited mind in cognitive dissonance existing within values indoctrinated to survive within a system of inequality, a system of profit, which has been going on for generations.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become submissive within this, in self pity, that I had done something wrong, not realizing that I was creating a belief within myself that I was unworthy and unheard, when in fact all that existed, as indicated by irritation, was a cognitive dissonance that simply required a common sense directive within what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that all that was needed was to stop and breath, look in common sense of what is best for all, and use the capacity of myself here, as a human being, to realize a directive that is within the principle of what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that, as a child, I was not trained to do this, and instead taught the roles of a woman, to be submissive and to develop myself in accordance with what enabled my survival within a system of limited design to support a system of money usage for profit for a few instead of money/resource usage that support the value of life as this physical world as what is real.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that irritation is cognitive dissonance, and thus a moment where the mind must review what has been accepted and allowed as belief, opinion and idea, and deconstruct to include a new view point and that this can cause a moment of disassociation from accepted and allowed patterns, where, within this, a direction can be given that is within the principle of “giving as you would like to receive” instead of what serves a profit based system that has caused an existence on this earth where many lack the basic necessities to live a life in dignity, thus is causing irritation a natural consequence of changing the habits and beliefs that support a system of inequality, a system that is showing the human how ineffective it is in supporting life, with the amount of abuse to animal, plant, soil and human, manifesting as the rapid depletion of earth’s resources and unacceptable living conditions on earth at this time.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that I developed my own feelings and emotions of unworthiness, begun in childhood as I was not taught to direct myself within the principle of what is best for all, or taught that as a human I am capable of being trained to use my human physical body, to work in tandem with this physical world and develop myself in ways yet unknown with a system that dis-allows human development in favor of preparing humans through family, education ,media, to serve a system of profit for the few, evident in the frustrated behaviors manifesting on earth at this time, where people are killing their children, eating other humans, where soldiers are committing suicide and children are being bombed by remote control to allow a few to have control of earth’s resources, resources given unconditionally by this physical world to support life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that this pattern I have accepted and allowed is in this moment constricting my lower back and causing constriction to flow down into my legs as I fear speaking within and as my writing that I am somehow not speaking clearly enough, where I spin around in and as my mind looking for a way out and cannot find one, as my mind operates in singularities and cannot see what is best for all, which means I have become that which I fear.
I commit myself to breathing, to stopping the allowance of myself into and as fear.
I commit myself to realizing that fear is an energetic possession within my human physical body as myself in separation from myself where the only choice is to breath and direct myself within the principle of what is best for all.
I commit myself to realizing all images in and as my mind are showing me how I have separated from myself and thus are not real, only energetic possessions I am allowing to draw my attention away from what is physically here and real.
I commit myself to revealing that this is what is happening to our children where we label this as ADD and ADHD, where parents of these children take schools to court to demand a private/special education not realizing that it is the parent that has developed this very inability to focus on what is actually here as what the child exists as, and therefor in taking the schools to court, are the parents abdicating their responsibility and wanting a system - the very accepted and allowed system that is one and equal to the cause of the lack of focus in the human- to take responsibility for their child.
I commit myself to not allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am unworthy, and realizing that reacting to irritation and discord necessitates a corrective action within utilizing the principle of what is best for all, where practice in giving direction instead of allowing reactions as defense, spite, blame, insecurity, wanting to win, and fear of loss are not an action of resolution to and towards the principle of what is best for all, the principle of giving as one would like to receive.
I commit myself to revealing that the method of operation within this present system, through media, family and education, suggests that the human is programmable, and thus the human is able to realize that this present system of inequality is not the natural state of life, as it needs constant broadcast to perpetuate it’s propagated desires, wants and needs, to support the few, and thus can this world be changed to a world that supports life, a heaven on earth.