Day 240 Fear Dimension : Victim Character

Fear Dimension : Victim Character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have become fear, in and as a belief that I had lost something within the changes happening within my friend.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have believed that I was left alone, as I no longer had a friend, someone who was “special” to me and defined me within arelationship as this was in separation from realizing myself equal to all that was within my environment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that such a relationship protected me, where this is really a fuzzy, ambiguous idea, based on judgements of more than and less than, that I was not something or someone unless I had a specific friend to call my own, creating a separation from all the other life existent around me and an ignorance of the form and function in and as the physical world and the changes as transformations existent within life expression, where this is to be enjoyed and understood, realized and moved with to expand in awareness in life in expression as creation, where this is the joy, in common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself in relation to one other person, not seeing realizing and understanding a change in expression, where this change was not something to fear- even within this change being motivated within a system as capitalism, as profit, being limited values directing, but to see, realize and understand that change exists and thus not only can the human change the present system of limited values, as energy, but also, that this system of limited values ignores the total physical world in equality and oneness as this being life, thus it is to walk from the separation from being within as limited values as what manifests energetic insubstantial expression , but also to realign with the actual real, physical world, to expand in awareness of how life, as earth in fact functions, to becoming equal and one with self as life, which can only happen within focusing ourselves HERE, as HERE is where the physical exists, utilizing breath to “read” the physical world as life substance and, let this go - to not cling to in self definition in fear of loss as this is what we are, and to move within this here, equal and one as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to this change, as a loss, believing myself to be victim, as I projected a belief that I was less than, having lost a relationship, where no relationship was lost, as life remained, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have separated myself from life, into and as believing myself to be a victim.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have feared standing without the comfort of a supposed “best friend” where I believed that without a best friend I was somehow lacking.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have feared that I had no value or meaning because I no longer had a best friend.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself in relation to having a best friend , or not having a best friend.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that having a “best friend” or not having a best friend does not define myself here, as life, that it is what i am within and as myself in and as being what is best for all, equal and one to life, no matter in whose shoes I walk as what changes take place.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that as life, there is nothing to be lost, as I am one and equal to all that exists, here.
I commit myself, to, see, realize and understand that losing a “best friend” is an illusion, and a separation and division from equality and oneness as all life here on this planet.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that within judgement in and as fear of loss, and belief in being a victim, I am in separation into a mind consciousnesssystem as self interest based on a face value, inconsiderate of myself as life, and thus inconsiderate of life, allowing the beingness of myself into being a polarity in and as energy, as mind, and not equal and one to the actual physical world.
I commit myself to realizing that within this, the spite and anger I then projected onto my friend was a reaction within how I felt within the judgement of having lost something, in this case, my “best friend” where I defined my value within society within this relationship, having separated myself from equality and oneness to all life into a self interested idea of survival as the very structures taught that made singular relationships bigger than what was physically real, relationships that served a system, as a hierarchy of more than and less than to serve profits to a few within the present monetary system through division of people into gender, class, race, nationality, religion, where groups are created as relationships within limited beliefs to maintain division and separation from self as life realizing the value is life, and where this existence of division and separation created the movement of men as a mind consciousness system that divided and presented into limited values, as judgement, creating polarities of more than and less than, as energy- the lack of respect for life being of no real substance- to feed an inter dimensional division as heaven and earth, where the imaginations of the mind are believed to be what is real but are the values of more than and less than cording the sight of men into a limited awareness of what is one and the same as the very substance existent in all life, which is that which supports all life, the very substance of life which can only be here, as a past and a future is composed of memories as judgements of more than and less than - which is separation into and as energy- as then existing within projecting this past onto the future, an act of movement as judgement of more than and less than, within which the human has created a system in the likeness and image of such behavior, as capitalism, which is destructive to the life that is earth, here, as this behavior of separation is in itself an ignorance of what is real which is life, which is this natural physical world. So, just as images of limited values are plastered all over this world via a media built by the hands of men, utilizing freely given resources to do so, with reckless abandon, and no consideration for the life on earth that is not in alignment with the limited values as what is projected by media, so too, does this exist as the mind consciousness of men, as mind, as thought emotions and feeling, where if we all stopped and slowed ourselves down, and remained within and as breath, we would begin to see this “halo” of imagery as mind, of which we blindly follow, as judgement and separation from what is real this actual real, physical world that is life.
I commit myself to see, realize and understand that my emotion of guilt, in having spent time proving myself “ more than my friend” was an outflow of my initial self judgement in and as being less than, which was a continuation of myself existing within separation from myself as life, and the only real loss was myself not standing in stability as myself as life, realizing equality and oneness to what was here, as the physical world, and though the present system is not supporting and valuing what is real, which is life, the movements of my friend was one and the same, as she is me and i am her, a human in separation from life, into limited values of more than and less than within a system of self definition separate from equality and oneness in and as the physical being life.

Related articles

• Day 235 Thought Dimension / Victim Character
• Day 236 Imagination Dimension/ Victim Character
• Day 237 Internal Conversations/Back Chat Dimension : Victim Character
• Day 238 Reaction Dimension : Victim Character
• Day 239 Behavior Dimension : Victim Character

Day 232 Internal conversation/ Back Chat : Despair Character

Internal Conversations /Back Chat Dimension/ despair character
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the inner conversations in and as my mind, composed of beliefs, opinions and ideas, as what has been taught, passed down through the generations, as the past, conversations of more than and less than, polarities of thought, as energy in fear of loss, that intensify and create emotional/feeling bodies within and as my physical body, sucking the life from me, as I weigh and measure in search of a lesser evil instead of realizing that I am one and equal to all in existence and direct myself within what is best for all, and thereby align myself with life,to move one and equal with and as life, as the physical here is a means to cross reference what supports life, and thus inner conversations are a separation from awareness of the physical here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an inner conversation that what is to be seen is more than what is heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an inner conversation that if I question the conversation as what is seen within the adult world, I will be punished.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a belief as an inner conversation, as back chat, like a devil supporting the angel on my shoulder of what will protect me from being attacked by the secret separate world of the adult, as “I have to watch what I say” and/or “ Is there something I am supposed to be saying?” or “ Somehow I am not understanding what I am supposed to say, I must be dumb, or I must be lacking in something, or I just don’t get this” and then within this, “ what do I not get” or, and as well “ why do I have to be bothered with this” and /or “ how does one get through this mess” and or “ Don’t these people realize they are saying the same thing” and/ or “I don’t understand this!” and/or “ what does she want me to say?” and /or “If I am not to be heard, than how am I ever going to learn how to talk?” and / or “ what you are saying is that you want this conversation to end so you can go and “play” too!” and /or “ you just want to pity patter your tears” and / or “ I am not your wet rag” and / or a non-conversation as a sense of numbness/muteness/dumbness as a young child at the very idea of being seen and not heard is an idea never imagined and later made huge as an idea that such a thing/state/idea/thought could possibly exist, which would probably be the first reaction of a child, and as the idea spun around in and as my mind, creating emotional feeling bodies around an idea that something can be seen but not heard would be enough to create a fear and a separation from life, enough to create monsters lurking under beds. WTF
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this numbness/muteness/dumbness would be a reaction as shock at such an idea, that something can be seen and unheard ( a division ), that along with all the other images fed via television, as a programmable human, the chasm as belief in not being heard is in itself a limitation as what i am as life, here, as it takes me into and as an idea of not being heard, instead of directing me here, as life, within and as life here, realizing the physical world as what is real and learning to converse equal and one to the physical, which is composed of the substance of life, equal and one to what i am.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the state of shock such words as “to be seen and not heard’ as an idea might have as an effect on a child, as it is a directive away from life into and as a state of shock creating a behavior of “ the deer in headlights” as suddenly becoming mute/numb/dumb in encountering an idea of separation into being seen but not heard.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding a reaction in and as my mind of stunned silence, as becoming numb/dumb/mute in the face of words of separation and division into a less than and more than scenario, where what is expected also carries a subtle suggestion as a threat should the words not be accepted as fact.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding when and as I become this stunned silence in and as my mind.

I commit myself to, when and as I become a stunned silence in and as my mind, where no words appear, that I am lost within fathoming with and as the mind, and thus in separation from being here, one and equal with and as the physical.

When and as I find myself within this state of stunned silence in and as my mind, I stop and I breath, and I bring myself here, in and as breath, in common sense.

When and as I find myself within a stunned silence I stop and I breath, and I practice bringing myself here in common sense, as this “stunned silence” is a total dismay which is like a state of vertigo, a falling, a separation, a des-pair, will take time to move from back into and as common sense , as this has gone on for so long that in essence it will taketime to birth myself into and as life in common sense, piecing myself back together again, as I am humpty dumpty who has fallen into many pieces, and all these pieces have to be put back together again, and then this will have to learn to birth and direct as life here, and yet, there is no other journey.