Day 67 significance to the insignificance

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give significance to the insignificance

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make the one ankle more significance than another ankle

I forgive myself  for allowing and accepting myself to give significance to the form of one human body over another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that one person is more significant than another, instead of realizing that the significance is being here, being life, where I keep going as life, to learn that the significance is life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that a soldier commits suicide every day as they are men paying homage to what is insignificant and thus see no value in life, as the value of themselves as life has been made to support the profit of a few instead of what is real, life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that a profit based system is the very manifestation of giving significance to the insignificant  that which causes weighing and measuring as object instead of directing as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the significance placed on the physical as having values of more than and less than is to be separate from self as directing self as life, where the significance is being directive as life within the principle of what is best for all, one and equal to realizing the significance is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place value on knowledge and information to read to gather knowledge and information, like a computer, so I can spew knowledge and information, which is dis-placing myself from directing myself with significance as life and allowing myself to place significance on knowledge and information to appear to be infomr-ed, aligned with  a presentation of myself to fit into a picture presentation , as idea, as belief, as desire to appear to fit into a hierarchy above other qualities, where this qualifying is separating myself form the equality of the total composition of what is here, which is all the substance of what is significant which is life, and within this allowing myself to be what is the movement of myself as life one and equal, this being what is significance, where there is no need to judge.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hate myself for not having realized that what is significant is to keep going, through all the signs of the mind as the labels and the back chat, the weighing and measuring, until I catch myself realizing that the significance is being here, being life, directing myself as life, where finally the mind stops and I become the gift of life which is  being here, directing myself as life, and thus is the mind a mirage that has possessed and obsessed focus onto in-sign-ficance ( financing the signs of capitalism )  and not  being myself  as what is significant, meaning life aligned assignment, meaning assigning myself life as the principle of what is best for all, as give as I would like to receive, as what i am that is significant,  where within this the present system here on this earth is an absolute travesty as it separates the human away from self as life, yet this has been developed and built by the annecs of the mind doting on weighing and measuring objects , stagnant, instead of directing and moving and being an expression in and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize how stagnant I allow myself to be when I allow ideas, beliefs and opinions according to class, culture, race, nationality, to be the borders of myself , when these borders are what I allow to stop the movement of myself as life,  making the sign, as label huge when the sign as label is insignificance and what is real is myself here as an expression of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize there is no rejection, as rejection is simply having allowed myself to move as label, as having moved myself as what is insignificant - the label as what I believed as desire, an energetic short lived wisp in the wind- that is as its short lived nature telling me that I am separate from myself directing myself as life, as what is constant and directive.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the trap of the mind, the label maker, where this trap of the mind is the action of separation, this that measures and weighs, labels and collects as knowledge and information, so busy “computing” that what is significant is missed, self here, as life, realizing the value is self as life,  being HERE one and equal as what self is here as life, directing within the principle of oneness in equality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that so many supposed failures are that one did not just keep going, but instead stopped going, where the keep going leads to realizing that the voices in the head that were of “ stop” were fear and thus insignificant, within this, I realize that all the billions of humans and animals and plants on this earth have had taken away from them what is needed to sustain life, what was given to sustain life unconditionally by this earth, have been ripped out from under to support that which is insignificant which is the values propagated by this system of profit to feed the desires of more than and less than of a few, who are themselves caught in allowing the insignificant significance to such an extent, they can no longer direct themselves as life, and thus never live, and thus reap what they sow, which is the self rape of their human physical bodies into a death of no significance, of no transcendence of life, as their beliefs and desires based on object have been made so huge, they are unable to pass through the eye of the needle into what is eternal, as the values of the mind, reflected in the present accepted and allowed system are made too big and thus will not fit through this eye of a needle  into that which is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use knowledge and information to say what I mean,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to - lol- find this mind blowing, I mean what the fuck are we doing?

I commit myself to keep going.

When and as I find myself giving significance to the insignificant I STOP AND I BREATH, I do not allow myself to give significance to the insignificant, as within this I allow starvation and animal confinement, I allow soil devastation, I allow deforestation, I allow rape, I allow fear, I allow anger, I allow inflow as mind and not outflow as life, where I am life one and equal as life here, directing myself with in an absolute purpose as life in oneness and equality as life here.

I commit myself to stopping the giving of significance to the insignificant as what the wants, needs, desires, beliefs, opinions and ideas of the mind as what this is is know -ledge and in-form -ation of what is propagated and sould as a mind consciousness system one and equal to what is propagated and sould by a system allowed and accepted on this earth that places a hierarchy of separation on what is unconditionally given , the support of what is significant , life, here.

It is time to clean up the mind , to fit earth through the eye of the needle through establishing a system of equality and 

Equal Money System.

The soul of money

Day 66 The folding of knowledge and information.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to know, as in be informed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to know, to be informed, to have information, to have knowledge and information to discuss with others and my world, so I appear to be aware of what is happening in the world, where I base what is happening in the world on popular books and information sources, be it a magazine, a news show, a tv show, a journal, an educational degree, where I gather and collect the knowledge and information to decorate myself with, and regurgitate without looking at what the information actually creates, or is based on, in relation to this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use knowledge and information to shield myself form a belief in a loss of social status.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand how much I walk a “theory” alone and not what is physically real.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to take a look at my life, and see where I am applying knowledge and information gathered through outside sources, and education, where I did not in fact live the efficacy of that knowledge and information in fact.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take the words of others for granted without actually going and considering if what is said is in fact effective in this world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take knowledge and information and “play with it in and as my mind” and create supposed understandings through feelings considerations of theory, knowledge, information through what feels right instead of being here, with and as this physical world, not realizing that the entertainments of the mind, as story. in pondering the why’s and how’s of this world through the use of knowledge and information, is separation of what is actually physically here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be addicted to an energetic high in and as a sense of “knowing” where I have used knowledge and information and experiences from my past and constructed a sense of understanding and knowing this world, where instead of looking at this world, and realizing a change is possible, I wallow in sadness as to what exists on this planet.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be a story junkie, to collect knowledge and information and to then feel sad that this world is not living up to it’s full potential, where I blame some fuzzy entity not realizing that this world as the present system is created by men, that men are the anecdotal evidence assembling the whole of this system.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see the infinite loop of perpetual motion I allow myself to exist as , where I will cause damage to my human physical body, as I am not here, one and equal to this physical world, but instead of in my head, reading about history, the news, the arts, psychology, science, ( you name it) and then to take this in -form-(n)ation and fold it into my bible of knowledge and compassion and understanding and then feel as though I am compassionate, and special and caring and giving, as I believe this world is sad, and that each individual is not utilizing their full potential, where I feel sad and believe that life is not lived, where I have not considered that the human is so consumed by survival in a system that creates lack, and uses money to control the human through fear of loss, where this fear disallows human development for many on this earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that the knowledge and information presented serves a system of limited design and thus what knowledge is readily available within media and journals, supports what follows the law of profit, and thus cannot do what is best for all, as this would equalize and support life, where a system of profit brings profit to a few only, and ignores that which is one and equal to it, and that which supports it, which is what is real this physical world.

i forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that “shades of grey”  are actually turning the same information around and around again and again, refractions of  petty finger pointing where the simplicity of looking at this physical world and how things move and support this physical world is the practical solution.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is something to understand in and as my mind, when my mind can only move in singularities and therefor cannot solve problems, as it is not walking the practical steps necessary to get something done, where we have a system where a “leader” dictates to others what steps to take from a far, and thus does not actually live what physically happens and works, what destroys and supports, as the distant centralized government/corporation dictator is not present.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that within a hierarchy, a dictate can be given from above, to a “lesser” point in the hierarchy and that this person will lose their “fresh air” position unless they force those below them who are working with the actual physical thing, to complete assignments no matter what affect this causes to the physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that where the person giving direction bases their decisions on knowledge and information distant from the physical,  have the power to distribute,  release and provide what sustains life, thus, all starvation allowed by governments is in fact a crime, all starvation allowed by banks is thus a crime no different to the crimes of Hitler. 

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting myself to see that  if one only looks at the knowledge and information presented, the wording will only focus on what the profits are for the few, where outcomes are lost in a drama of blame and spite.  

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that collecting knowledge and information that is of blame and spite, and self pity, and finger pointing and hate, and tragedy, is the drama used to hide the money flowing to a few, where the drama presented in the media is meant to wallow the listener in sadness, as emotion, as self pity, to hide the fact that what is real, is the physical world.

When and as I see myself pondering knowledge and information, I stop and I breath, and I remind myself that knowledge and information without practical effective application is useless.

When and as I find myself going into an emotion of sadness I stop and I breath, and I realize that this emotion of sadness and pity is myself caught in a self created addiction to believing that I care about this world, where in fact this action of emotion and belieVing that I care is just this, knowledge and information without any effective practical directive application to stop the abuse allowed and accepted on an earth that has the means to ensure a life of support as life, for everything on this planet.

I commit my self to investigating the amount of money invested in the development of war, and to realize that this money alone iS enough to support all life on this planet and that the effort used to built the “high tech” tools of war can just as well be spent to provide a life of dignity for all that is of this earth.

I commit myself to realizing that the money spent on perfume and alcohol alone can provide this world with clean drinking water.

I commit myself to researching agriculture, where crop rotation and the form and function of the cow is a perfect self sustaining system that circulates waste and maintains healthy soils, where what is presently being done causes MRSR, a form of strep that is resistant to antibiotics, where this is so prevalent, that hospitals are now placing signs outside of hospital doors where visitors must a mask to enter the room, as this is now in our CAFO meats and out vegetables.

I commit myself to realizing that my job and my pension are not going to do me any good if I am a walking disease full of super bug bacteria and viruses because I did not investigate how money is spent on this planet to serve profit for the few, and not what this earth gives unconditionally, the resource to support life in dignity.

I commit myself to realizing that the diseases of out children are caused by the pollution of this planet within and without, as the incessant broadcast of knowledge and information is resonantly talking over our children to the point where they can no longer focus and what we do is label them as ADHD, without realizing that they are refracted into many parts of no real value, separating a  connection to what is actually real, this physical world, as our children are becoming sex maniacs in the third grade, where girls are having their periods in the third grade.

I commit myself to realizing the folding of knowledge and information in and as my mind, into and as a story of righteousness and pity, an emotion of sadness and justification in and as believing that I have value because I care, is not a solution and therefor a mind fuck of no practical solution to be directly supportive of what is real, this physical world.

I commit myself to walking myself through how I become a back chat of blame and spite, self pity and righteousness to become effective in communicating the directive principle of oneness in equality through understanding my own separations into and a mind consciousness system, through writing, self forgiveness and corrective application, and thus being the process of stopping the mind, and walking one and equal to this physical world.

Equal Money System

Life Review - Real Communication

What is sex?

Day 65/59 Assigned Living

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel sorry about how this world functions, where I am not myself but existing as a past, existing as the values I attribute to the past and not being here as myself living as the living word walking the attribute as myself as life, valuing myself as life here, carrying the baggage of a system that dictates the values to me, the roles to me, where I abdicated the attribute of my self as life, where I attributed myself to an assignment of mother, daughter, sister, as family member, where I took the assignment of being a woman, a lover, a girl, a lady, a slut, a whore, a feminist, where I took the assignment of debtor, of maid, of cook, of American, of Protestant, of Jew, of Baptist, of Muslim, of western culture, of eastern culture,  all these assignments to support a system of profit instead of allowing and accepting the assignment of myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have taken the assignment and not considered this assignment in relation to life, where I was not to focus on myself as life, as a human physical body able to climb trees, to play instruments, to sing, to see, to hear, and instead I followed the assignments without question, as asking questions of the role models caused irritation, as the questions did not follow the assignment dictates of the system, like the voice of the system had only responses pertaining to fitting into the context of the assignment, like a computer going bezerk is the voice of irritation.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand how addicted i became to the happy face response of the teacher/model when I completed the assignment.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize how addicted I became to the cheers and the praise when I got the ball in the net as I was assigned to do, much like a rat in a science experiment.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize how over time these assignments became all that I am causing me to become a psycho - path of an assignment lacking the birth of myself as life as the assignment neglected the development of myself as life, as directing myself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that my dreams are of fulfilling the assignment as service to a system that destroys this planet, where there is less and less life, as animals become extinct and farmers blame the animals for profit losses not realizing they are destroying that which they did not create, that which they have no understanding of, and act only in irritation as irritation is the program wanting to eliminate what does not fit the program, as the limited insight assigned, accepted and allowed, where the acceptance of the assigned program is the perpetuation of the program and an abdication of responsibility and thus loss of self honesty, and thus a loss of self as life, as every animal killed is self killing self in favor of a limited assignment acceptance with lack of using common sense in fear of irritation of a programed human organic machine, while self hides in the depths, eventually discovering self as life has been consumed in pain and suffering only to die until self stands and realizes self as life, again and again and again, never changing living abuse, the reflection of what presently exists on this earth, as those who believe their profit of more is the prize, but where even the profiteers live the life of JOB losing everything, where all that is needed is to live the principle of oneness in equality until it is done so that life can begin, to let go of the assignments, to stand and to realize this earth can be heaven on earth and how much more fulfilling this would be than what is presently accepted and allowed as an assignment of war and destruction, where we end up as psychotic as a soldier after combat because that is what we live, a system of survival to get money to live.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live in the memories of past assignments where i was successful within my system assignment and received accolade and praise as attention to the completion of fitting into the image and likeness of the assignment evident in the pictures flouted in media and advertising.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to look behind the smokescreen  of the imagery lighting up the skies of the earth, confusing the animals, and confusing myself as I present a happy face hiding the expression of inclinations I had as a child that were met with irritation as they did not fit into the assignment as the voice of the machine that could not find a match in the program of the limited system that served subservience to some who believed they had more than others when in fact they too live on this earth turning into rubble, where this earth has the capacity to be heaven on earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I am in fact not living.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I will grow old and wallow in the memories of past assignments that I completed successfully while the projection of this program/picture show sucks what is left from my human physical body, where my skin begins to dry and flake, accelerated by the placating pills of pHARMacy, and turn back into dust right before my very eyes, as the physical tells me what I have accepted and allowed while I am still alive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate the gift of life, in turning a blind eye towards accepting and allowing an assignment - an sign ment to serve a few who control the resources of this earth with a sign on a piece of paper - paper made from a tree that had not name of ownership, that is here producing oxygen freely for all to breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take the irritation of the voice of the program reciting/re-sighting the assignment personally.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that the voice of the assignment is tiny tiny tiny, and becomes smaller and smaller and smaller, as I stand back and stop taking the voice of the assignment personally, and stand up within the resonance of the constructs of the assignment that developed a follower and a leader, subservience and dominance, a man on a throne, and a page groveling for a new assignment to provide food for family.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that there is more to life than the assignment.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that the folds of the assignments, imbedded within my human physical body, that i have accepted and allowed can be “gotten under” and cleared through self forgiveness, writing and corrective application, with  a buddy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the emotion of sadness.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize this emotion of sadness is for a life never lived,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the emotion of bitterness, myself as spite and blame, in wonderment as to how this could happen, where it does not matter how this has happened at this point as what need be done is this earth brought into an expression in and as life, as the heaven meeting the earth to remove the polarity of heaven and hell, and to manifest oneness and equality on earth, where earth IS heaven, one and equal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the assignment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself.

i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my mother and my father, to judge my neighbor and my brother, to judge a nation, to judge a politician as the point as earth equal and one to heaven can have no blame, can have no judgement, can only become one through self forgiveness in the realization that we are all life, and thus we are all same.

I commit myself to walk self forgiveness, corrective application, through writing to dis-cover the assignments I have accepted and allowed without question in order to survive to start the process within myself to create heaven on earth in oneness and equality until it is done.

I commit myself to stopping the atrocity as the assignment of profit that has created hell on earth  to unite heaven as earth, where life can begin, as this physical world if the gift of life, it is only for the human to realize and allow this gift expression.

I commit myself to understanding the present system of profit and to realize those posting the extent of atrocious action on earth are actually the voice of the positive, as they reveal the absence of heaven on earth as what earth should be.

Journey to Life blogs

Day 65 Effective Communication

Day 65 effective communication
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that effective communication between people is necessary within a relationship.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that rejection is basically a lack of effective communication.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that given the cultural indoctrinations that exist within our profit based system as a whole, and how these personifications can lead to collectively accepted assumptions where groups of people only associate with like assuming people, all based on the environment of family placement determined by the amount of money one has, the ability to communicate with people from other backgrounds and a differing set of assumptions and vocabulary can lead to misunderstandings.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that within this system, effective communication is needed to clear up assumptions, and in this process many fears can be walked through for what they are, simply a fear, and as with many fears, the fear remains hidden as exposing the fear, as a cultural norm, might suggest weakness, where this makes no sense because it is the acceptance of the fear that is the weakness.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that the fears have to be expressed and cleared up, or the communication will not be effective, and will become a game of hide and seek, which is no way to communicate.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand, that without communication between two people, what happens is that one accepts the personification of the other, and this is a form of stagnation, as personification is a limited design that does not consider the whole, as considering the whole leads to a gamut of expression that cannot exist in a singular set of assumed expressions used as a prop for self survival within a system propagates fears in needing money to survive.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that for two people to interact effectively, a clear communication and understanding of how the system of profit  on earth works must be understood and communicated to understand the very being of ourselves, otherwise what is accepted and allowed will lead to uncertainty and rejection.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that many relationships fail because there has not been effective communication, and often this is realized after the relationship no longer exists and self pity sets in, which is the being of self that caused the lack of communication in the first place, as self pity is self spite, and self blame, and so, one stewing in emotions and feelings and not actually becoming a living being effective in communication, within this it is clear that emotions and feelings are of energetic polarities based on beliefs, opinions and ideas, and that the human has accepted this stagnation as the human has not been taught to stand up and move through such eddies of emotional polarities, nor has the human the language skills to be able to communicate and thus direct themselves through emotional polarities.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that nothing can be hidden as all in known.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I attempted to communicate my fears, and to give up what I deemed was necessary as my persona, I would find that the development of my self and the fears I hold are all based on money.
i forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the emotional make up of my parents is based on their parents which is based on their parents thus is the religion within my family and culture determining my emotional make up, where I will find myself using such statements as “thank God” not realizing that this is myself giving thanks to an imaginary entity separate from what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that if I do not investigate how a profit based system works I will not have a clear understanding of how and why I do not have effective communication with others, as “others” will have incomplete ideas about how the present system works, and when two people with unclear ideas meet, and assume understanding, and voice this limited understanding, the outcome will be confusion and therefor  a lack of clear communication.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize  and understand that should I come to understand the present money system of profit, I will see, realize and understand that it is absolutely corrupt and ineffective, and thus will realize that there is no other choice but to stand up and change this system.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to look at what I am communicating daily as I interact with others, and what it is that motivated me to communicate as I do.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to watch the emotional and feeling outflow I exist as, and how these outflows are present in every word I speak, thus am i able to realize what it is that I am within what I communicate, to the point where I will realize that I exist as emotions and feelings that are separations and thus an exhibit of my fears.

I commit myself to realizing that much of the sadness I feel is based on regret that is caused by a lack of communication and thus understanding of how this world presently exists.
I commit myself to realizing the words I speak and what I am trying to communicate in and as the words i speak and the thoughts moving through my head are based on a fear of survival.
I commit myself to realizing that the words I speak and the thoughts I have moving through my mind are all geared towards the fear of survival and based on the past as the conditioning of my parents, where what is in the forefront in and as my mind, is the picture idea of what i need to survive.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, utilizing breath, and becoming aware of the words I speak, and the emotional and feeling polarities I allow myself to exist as.
I commit myself to recognizing my own regrets that are my past, where I judge myself as ineffective, and within being this judge I am within an action of self spite, and that this must be forgiven and a corrective action walked, as looking at my world as a reflection of myself, and understanding how the present profit based system works, will allow the development of effective communication within myself.

Equal Money
What is Sex - Overview
Shocking Secrets of Masterbation

Day 64 Perpetual Jury Duty

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to dread having jury duty in August.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a feeling of doom and gloom about having to go to jury duty.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize , see and understand that this gloom and doom feeling that causes a general feeling of stagnant movement in and as my human physical body, where I feel tired and want to run away from this, yet knowing there is no place to go as I must face this, is myself here not wanting to place myself into realizing where and how I am existing in perpetual jury duty in and as the very constructed personality that I exist as here within a system of “create a persona” to survive.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize , see and understand  that the judge is my personality, and thus how I am on jury duty, placing blame and spite on anything that threatens the system of me, the protection of myself within a system of inequality that is created by the human, the only animal that pays to live on earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that my dread of jury duty is one and the same as my dread of facing my own accepted and allowed spite and blame, self protection mechanism, constructed of all that I have been exposed to through family and education, and a voice - as media and politics - intent on gaining more than others, themselves blind to themselves as life, where the whole consumerist presentation is to mislead and entrap into a superficial existence where the outcome is the chasing of desires that are never fulfilled, as the illusion is just this, an illusion and of no substance, evident in the fact that this system does not consider the physical world, that which is real, seen in the destruction and disregard of the state of this planet.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize I need not fear the juror on duty in and as my self, as this is really a fear of standing up and redirecting myself, taking all the judgements and “rulings” back to myself and directing myself as what is best for all, keeping myself stable in and as my human physical body utilizing breath and self forgiveness, through writing and corrective application to stop the juror as the persona - this voice of separation and thus fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place a picture of how I am supposed to be as I drive around, not realizing that these projections and desires are all based on role play and have nothing to do with actually being here.

I, for example, forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have this morning, seen a couple walking together and thinking “how nice this looked” where it is not that this is nice or not  nice, it is that this is not the only way to be, and that I remember feeling that this was lost when my husband was dead, thus do I have a sadness based on a belief -as an idea of how things are supposed to be- that I must match that idea as picture, thus do I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I desire to be a “couple”, which if I look is a fuzzy picture as image only and not myself being here realizing all of existence and only living in a singular idea of what life is or is not, where i can become bitter should i not have this, where the society in which I live, avoids the single woman, because of this idea of how people on this earth should appear, where what is real, a human being as an expression of life is what is real, and the fears of a woman having sex with a man, a husband, where it is believed that a single woman is a threat to a marriage, does not consider that it takes two, and does not consider that if the human cannot control their sexual “cravings” then the human has not been developed, and that the society in which we live, propagates sexual action all over the place, and that the solution is not to hide from this or avoid this but to stand up and realize why this exists and to support a solution that stops this as there is nothing else, and sitting and waiting for someone else to do this, or to be the act of blame and only talking about how horrible this is, will do nothing to change this that is unacceptable and shows that the human has no directive capacity and thus is not self expressing self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to become righteous about all of this, to not realize that this will take myself becoming stable and speaking up again and again and again, where I will receive the voice of spite, the jury of the persona of justification  and that I cannot fear this, and instead see it for what it is and take it apart piece by piece until it is done.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize the depth of constriction the jury as the personality of myself I have accepted and allowed myself to be is resonant within and as myself here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I often had a red light come on when I was told what to do, where my mind is my self telling my self what to do, where this voice of what to do is the voice of a system supporting separation and it is not to outright reject but to realize, using the principle of equality, to bring back to myself as life and not as what I am supposed to look like and be a presentation as, and direct as what is best for all, where often if I do this in conversation I will be received with irritation as what is best for all has not been what the human has existed as and thus will be rejected as what has been accepted and allowed is the human on jury duty blaming and spiting in order to survive, as the system on earth is a system of survival, where the human is the only animal that pays to live on this earth, this unconditionally giving earth.

When and as I have a feeling of dread and doom and gloom come up, I stop and I breath, and I realize that I am fearing facing what has been accepted and allowed, and a deep nauseousness ensues, where I feel like I want to through up, which is how I felt when I found my dead husband, and how I feel when I see this new man in town that walks with a tremble as he has some degenerative disease and it makes me feel sick to my stomach when I see it, and this has happened all my life, where I am drawn to this wondering what the fuck this is, and at the same time repelled, like it some kind of discordant “thing” which is probably why I an a destonian, as I sense something is not right about this world.

 When and as I become a feeling of doom and gloom and general malaise I stop and I breath, and I remember what i just wrote, because it is making me feel better, where this can be cleaned up and forgiven through a process where the life that is here on this earth can become the principle of oneness in equality, a living breathing, self directed expression of life, as all as one as equal.

I commit myself to cleaning up all the personas I have accepted and allowed, as the persona, the personification of myself to fit into a system of survival, creating competition and greed as the movement of men on an unconditionally giving earth, through writing, self forgiveness and corrective application and speaking what sounds what is best for all in and as every breath here, realizing that spite and blame, within and without are the dust of separation and not the composition of a life fully lived, where any and all disease is a reflection of life lacking ease as dis-ease as the stagnant flow of life in full expression.

I commit myself to realizing that there exists a judge and a jury, means that the human has not been developed in and as that which is here, that which is what we as life are composed of, that which is right here as us which means the very substance as what we are has not been developed within and as us, to be the directive of ourselves, this that is the creation of life, this physical world that we ignore and believe ourselves to be greater than, when disease exists and thus  not in equality with life especially when best practices are known and blocked in the name of greed, which unless we stand and stop as a collective, this will be what continues as the sins of the fathers onto the children of this earth.

TIme for Equal Money. 

How money is god and determines the personification of the human.

Self Enlightenment steps for the Elite ( anyone with internet access)

Day 63 walking the ordinary

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that all blame and spite are a defense to hide fear of loss.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that my thoughts are a manifestation of my fear of loss leading to emotions and feelings as reflections of how I have separated from self honesty, where self honesty is myself one and equal to life as what is best for all, and thus emotions and feelings and thoughts are the story of my separation from myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the back chat of my mind is a composition of the chapters of my own accepted and allowed separations.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing the illusion of my emotions , thoughts and feelings, believing them to be real, when these emotions, thoughts and feelings only reflect where I am not equal and one to breath, where I am not existing in self honesty as self honesty being what is best for all, and this best for self, within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I need not fear being what is best for all, that I need not fear the voice of spite within or without, as the voice of spite and blame only indicate  the absence of self honest common sense, where all that there is is to look and to listen in common sense with practical looking and listening equal and one with breath here, as nothing can be lost, but that the endless back chat of thoughts and the rises and falls of emotions and feelings would make it appear to be so, yet this is the illusion and thus the separation from myself here, physically here, one and equal to all that is here, as what is here is life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that righteousness is the demand of the thoughts and emotions and feelings to be validated, as this is the illusion in and as separation from what is best for all within myself, where the illusive as mind cannot perceive the whole as it moves in singularities, and thus will only create conflict and friction as it meets another, as one singularity believing itself to be all that is meets another singularity believing itself to be all that is, not realizing itself as a separation in and as a singularity, will create friction and conflict, which is what presently exists as the abuse on this earth as self interest and greed, promoted by a few in control of their own self interest and greed as singularities unaware of the whole, and thus unaware of themselves as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remember breath in every moment , to remember that it takes many ordinary small steps to become  the extraordinary and the extraordinary is a collection of the ordinary, and within this I must remind myself of the ordinary, where I can slow down and enjoy the ordinary and realize that the bling of consumerism is the carrot that makes the extraordinary appear to be able to be bought and not walked, and even suggests what the extraordinary appears to exist as instant gratification, thus I allow myself to separate myself from actually becoming extraordinary, as I can only become extraordinary if I walk and exist as the ordinary, the small baby steps that accumulate into self honesty.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that worry is not the walk of the ordinary.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that blame is not the walk of the ordinary, where I remain in breath one and equal to here speaking in common sense of the whole no matter what spite and blame arises in defense, as defense, as spite and blame are label and accusation only and not being here in practical common sense of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to listen to the conscious mind as thought and realize it is the negative cloaked as the positive.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize emotions and feelings as self pity, where a longing exists as a belief that something has been lost, yet the self as life is not in fact accepting and allowing the walk of the ordinary, taking the breath time to walk in common sense here as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that when I am in spite and blame I am no longer existing in the physical, directing myself through the ordinary steps of clarity as what is best for all, and instead am stuck in wanting to win having lost sight of here in and as the ordinary common sense of considering what is best for all instead of reacting in fear, where fear reveals self interest as it is the separation.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the ordinary is self embrace as humility where nothing is expected as gain, as there is only clarity in the moment as what is best for all, and this needs no spite or blame or reaction, only direction within breath and self honesty as what is best for all, the principle of oneness and equality, where all spite and blame is myself as spite and blame is separation from here, this moment of an ordinary step, small, quiet and forgiving as life, as what is best for all.

I commit myself to realize that this ordinary step in this moment is all I can be, here, one and equal to breath.

I commit myself to realizing that this one step at a time appears ordinary, this breath here, and do not allow myself to become spiteful and full of blame, as when I become this I am no longer here, but imagining the loss of some grand illusion.

I commit myself to breathing and walking the ordinary.

I commit myself to slowing myself down to recognize the humble ordinary directive of breath, where breath is like the cleanser of spite and blame in bringing myself back into the humbleness of self embrace as self honesty as life as what is best for all, in common sense of spite and blame being  a desire to win in the confusion of the singularity of the mind, as what has been cultivated by a system of energetic gain in separation of the self directive principle of oneness in equality as what is best for self is best for all.

The storm of the mind

The Infinity Secret

Seeing through the eyes of the mind

Day 62 Comparison is a bubble of separation

Day 62 Comparison is a bubble of separation

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting thoughts of comparison come up while I am working on my house, such as, “ Now my sisters will think my house is nice.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be secretly pleased when my sisters/sister says that I cannot sell my house.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to my sisters.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become jealous of my sisters , when in reality I have learned a long time ago that this makes no sense,  because I always preferred a lot of nature and I realized that I would prefer a tiny house in nature in a supposed “bad” neighbor hood than a big house in an affluent neighbor hood as I have this thing where I need nature or I feel like I am inundated with something heavy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that the culture of man is heavy, especially when I was in Europe, where the Culture of the human is so embedded in every stone of all the old buildings, and nature is the only escape.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a memory when I was first in Europe of desperately needing trees and grass, needing to find a park to sit under a tree, to find some “lightening” from the heaviness of the culture, where this is not a solution, as it is myself wanting to escape from something.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that this is the same thing that is happening in relation to these thoughts of house comparison with my sisters.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to run and hide from these thoughts, which reminds me of fevers I had as a child where I wanted to run and hide from the fever.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see the presence of these thoughts as a kind of boogy man - so to speak- as they are nasty and ugly and make no sense, as wanting what my sisters have in reality has nothing to do with myself here, and if I look at this comparison it has no  clear real definition, and is a general malaise only.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to realize that this comparison triggers accepted norms of value as to how a house should be within American culture, with a flat green mowed lawn and a cared for house which, in common sense, creates a landscape of limited design and limited variety and thus expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the desiring of singularly selected and limited values that I chase after instead of remaining here with what is here, as what is here is life where one tree is not more than another, and that tree works in tandem with my human physical body in creating oxygen for me to breath and to thus exist here on earth, this tree that cannot be owned as it supports life, just as water supports life, and thus can water not be owned as it is here on this earth to support life, thus is a system of profit an absolute atrocity, that what support the human can be turned into a commodity and  made to be something needed to be bought, which is allowing a few to control, and thus the dis-allowance and support of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become righteous about this, when this is just common sense, and thus nothing else is acceptable but that nature is here to support life, and that man can think he can own this and sell this is working against the very thing that supports the human as life, and thus it is an illusion that what supports life can be owned and traded via a piece of paper.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I move from my own  petty jealousies into righteousness about the state of the world, where my findings are not in themselves the issue but the drive of righteousness I move into as I write out my own back chat/comparison/ measuring/be limited value mind separations, where i will then go into self pity, spinning around in all this and thus not being here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I cannot judge these things of the mind as what has been taught that is of limited design, that is inconsiderate of all that is here, that only considers what is presented as being more than or less than, and that the chasing of this more than and less than actually stops the expression of life here, as it is obvious that life here is composed of a multi-varied expression, rejected by the human.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize my own common sense is turned into self pity as I have this cloud of comparison based on limited ideas that I allow to bother me as evident in the back chat in and as my mind, occupying me, taking me away from the joy of what is actually here as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that when corporations present scientific studies of agricultural development this is the negative posed as the positive, where this is called development  is really about measuring land and the potential of land to sell this land and create monocultures on this land, as forcing a profitable idea on this land and handing owner ship of this land to a few, where the people of the land, the animals of the land are not considered and swept away, where in America there have been studies that realize that smaller farms using a system of varied production on the land in fact protect the biodiversity and in the end produce more from the land than the monocultures do.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to see realize and understand that as within so without, where the things - the values- I exist as , in and as my mind, within allowing back chat to suggest that I am less than my sisters - as I compare what we each have, is my self being the monoculture corporation, and not myself accepting what is actually physically here, where if I worked with what was actually physically here - and accepted the variation - I would, just as a smaller farm - be more productive with myself, and expose myself to a richer and more varied life experience.

Within this, I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize how limited the mind is in fact, and that the mind has absolutely no common sense, that the mind cannot fathom the totality of this world, and that these same limited values that are the voices in my head, are what is taught and projected by the media and the gossip as the morality play by the mind - as the separations into and as this limited design- of all of us - neighbors, teachers, doctors, politicians, business men, and on and on, where each and every one of us know this, yet we do not stand up and stop, where it becomes obvious that we must stand up and stop this, as we are destroying this earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to to compare what I have with another.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize comparison of value has no substantive directive development of life, and that when this is of the mind, it is a separation from what is actually here.

When and as a thought comes up that is of comparison, I realize that I am no longer here.

When and as a thought of jealousy comes up, I realize that the feeling of loss, the fear of loss, is what I am allowing myself to exist as, and that this present system drives this wheel as the thoughts that are my mind, as this system built by men, has turned life into a game of survival, where limited values are what is deemed necessary to exist, and thus the varied life of this planet is destroyed as is this within myself when I allow myself to be ruled, to measure myself, by the limited design of a profit for the few system.

I commit myself to stopping and forgiving all thoughts of comparison realizing they are based in fear of loss, and thus not working with what is here, but selectively taken and placed as value to enslave myself as mind, in fear of being myself as life here.

I commit myself to realizing how clear of all this back chat I must become, to not be moved by the crying back chat, fear of loss, control seeking to substantiate acceptance of limitation, and thus stagnant,  personally ingrained limited beliefs, opinions and ideas proposed within a system of profit - accepted and allowed and built by the human, as what  I have allowed for a long time,  to be what I am here, and this done without righteousness and indignation.

I commit myself to listening to the voices of separation from common sense all around me, and to walk the walk to piece by piece bring the cry of separation back to life, back to earth, where the cry indicated the desire for self to find self, to come home to self as life, where no one wishes ill on another, it is that the cry is obsessed with itself and can no longer see what it has become of itself, but if is would stop and stand and breath and listen, it would begin to see the storm of emotion and feeling and thought it has become that is the separation, and that self is here, within and as the physical, the stabilizer, that which is the support, that which is real.

It is time for Equal Money.

Back Chat

Creations Journey to Life 

Earths Journey to Life